BearKey

I just joined up. Taking those photos was ROUGH. Really rough. Here is my Big Why. I may need to work on it, but for now, here is my Why: I hate the way I look and feel most days. I am ashamed of how out of shape I have let myself become. My posture is closing in on itself—probably as much from my self-disgust as from the extra weight and lack of muscle tone, especially in my core. I want to ...no, I WILL strengthen my core muscles so that I can be more erect again—strong and tall and attractive. I WILL lose 80 pounds by April 1st, 2019. I WILL become more active and find ways/opportunities to use activity to fill my life with meaning and FUN, which will increase my social life and be FUN. All of this will get me to where I want to be—fully me, fully alive, and living a full last third of my life. I will live a healthy active life well into my 90’s! Yes. I. Will.

My first hint was that I watched the introduction video while eating Skittles and Diet Pepsi. I read some of Steven’s writing online and knew this sounded like a home to me, but I’m tentative to throw more money after something that might not fit. My biggest fears? I am aspiring to eat a plant-based diet—so far the force is strong in the cheese, but I’m working on it. I am also old as Obi Wan Kenobi, so I wonder if my kids will have me declared incompetent by a judge and use my joining an online fitness group as evidence of the loss of my faculties. I also have rheumatoid arthritis that affects my knees, ankles and grip strength. (There are days I just can’t grip my light saber!), so I wonder about the exercises. Truthfully, I’ve recently started a dumbbell routine to work my arms, and last night I couldn’t finish it because I couldn’t hold on to the dumb bells. It’s not ALWAYS that bad, though. Here’s what I know (see...I’m talking myself into this by writing this post): the more I gently move, the better my joints feel. The more weight I lose, the more the inflammation in my joints will reduce, and I will be in less pain and be less susceptible to more dis-ease. Can you all deal with a nice older gentleman (well...I try), who needs your help? I promise to send happy energies your directions! P.S. I posted this elsewhere, and then discovered this forum, where I think it is more appropriate to post such thoughts. Sorry for the duplication. BearKey