teddie.bare

Ok, so I got good news: NO CANCER So that helps me out tremendously right now. First hurtle: done. My sister still has to have a hysterectomy on Monday. I still might end up with surgery myself. But for now, I can go the less invasive route. I'll be starting hormones this weekend, and I have a follow up ultrasound scheduled in 3 months. I have to watch for signs of stroke, especially the first month, and I'm behind on my mammogram and need to get that in... but it's a much better-case scenario for everyone. My husband is almost healed up from his oral surgery. He's still a little sore. The Chef is doing well after his surgery, which hardly phased him. And my sister only has to go one week between surgeries, so it's not like she'll be feeling much better and then get knocked down again. So all good news there. I had a decent dinner last night of homemade lasagna. I'm going to try to have some more for lunch. I've only had a protein shake and some cashews so far today. i actually got some sleep last night, so that was nice. And here we are, almost at the weekend again. Tonight I have a sleep over with The Chef, and tomorrow is my hubby's birthday. We have friends coming over, so that will be good. Sunday I'm going to deliver lasagna to a few girl friends who also just had surgery (seriously, wth 2016?!), and figure out what I want to do next in the decluttering madness. I'm tempted to stay in the kitchen and work on the crazy pantry and fridge first. Plus I have one more box of bill-paying stuff I need to address on the counter. so overall I'm feeling better today. But still lots going on.

Mice are the woooooorst. Oh man. One time I brought in the tupperware of dog food from the garage (we don't keep it out there any more!) and went I poured it into the inside container PLOP... a little mouse poured right out, jumped up, and ran off. Man oh man was that a stressful day. It even ran right by an open door I tried to shoo it out of. In the end, one of our cats finally got it. My newest dog is part boxer, and a mousing queen. She brings us dead ones on occasion from outside (yuck!). I've always had pets, and that is definitely one of the bonuses! I hope they all get captured while you guys are gone. That is such an anxiety bomb! I'm glad you got your yoga DVD. You know you like that one, so hopefully you can jump right into it when you get back (and the mice are under control). You aren't going to have much time to work on that flexibility before baby if you put it off for too much longer, girl You know how much better it makes you feel. Maybe you could set yourself a 'just try it' time limit. Like, just do 10 minutes. And if you aren't into it, you can stop? I've always found that setting limits like that help me to start something, and then I feel fine and just finish it. Good luck on the desk search. I know what a pain that is. I ended up getting a very specific corner desk from Ikea years ago. After we replace the carpet in the living room I need some book shelves from there... but the perfect furniture struggle is real!

You've made progress! that's great news. Keeping up on the house is HARD. I'm struggling just focusing on my kitchen counters. How do such little people make such big messes?! You're doing extra great on the mind stuff. That's awesome. I know that's important to you, so you definitely get a gold star for that. I'm glad you were able to find those Yoga DVDs, I know you were looking for them. Now you can really get into it since you've done all the mental prep, and removed the mental hurtle. All you have to do now is do it

This whole 'make sure you eat' thing is going to be difficult for a while. Last night I managed to have some turkey taco meat lettuce wraps. That was it. And it took me 3 hours to eat. Today I have had: 1 protein drink. 100 calories of cashews. 1 cup greek yogurt. 1 cup berries. I am not doing amazing here. I had a minor mental breakdown last night followed by no sleep. I've been picking fights with people who love me. Trying to pretend like everything is fine is not working for me. I really hope we get biopsy results tomorrow so I can start to move on with a plan of attack. My sister is going to need a hysterectomy, and she's hoping to just get it done on Monday. That will depend on whether or not we get a call tomorrow. Then everything I have to do will fall in after that. I was supposed to do a yearly asthma check up next week, but I think I'm going to cancel it. Of all the things I have going on right now, worrying about something that isn't currently affecting me isn't high on my priority list. I'm going to do that tomorrow, and I already feel less stressed having made that decision. I'm going to have to really pick and choose what I focus on for the next few weeks. No gym today since I didn't sleep. And I'm too emotionally drained to put in extra effort right now. But I'm focusing on self care, and exercise will come when I'm feeling a little more focused.

So, yesterday to eat I had: 1 bowl of oatmeal. 1 cup of coffee. 1 piece of cheese with 5 crackers and 5 round slices off of a sausage, 1 crepe with strawberries and creme and 1 crepe with green chili, broccoli and cheese sauce. Not the end of the world, but I didn't even bother trying to count the calories. Today I have had: 1 cup of coffee. 1 cheese danish. 1 handful of pork rinds. I've been staring at a cup of yogurt for 2 hours. It's safe to say i internalize stress in my stomach. I need to get the yogurt down in the next half hour and then try to stomach some dinner. In my immediate future (i.e. this week) I need to: Get my husband healed from major oral surgery Get the chef healed from his vasectomy Get my sister healed from her emergency ovary removal Not have a breakdown before we get the biopsy report from my sister's aforementioned surgery (hopefully Friday) Yeah, I think that's it. I have to take my daughter to a birthday party on Friday night (so much do not want) and Saturday is my husband's birthday. If my sister's biopsy comes back cancerous, I probably will have to have my own surgery/biopsy done on my left ovary on Monday. Although they may just go the extra aggressive route and schedule me for surgery with an oncologist right away, so we'll see. I just keep reminding myself that the probability of my baby sister and I both having ovarian cancer at the exact. same. time. is little to none. It's very likely that we were simply diagnosed with endometrosis at the same time, since chances increase 10-fold if a relative has it. There would still be a possibility of me needing surgery down the road, but it wouldn't be nearly as bad of a scenario. I think that's it for now No workouts yet this week. Mostly because I was trapped in the house and working from home for 2 days. I could have done something, but I'm a little on the worn-out side right now. I was hoping to feel better after my appointment, but I guess I get at least a few more days of super-high-stress.

Well I'm a few days late to the party thanks to a giant city-closing snow storm and a whole slew of medical non-sense, but I'm here. This challenge is not going to be a normal challenge for me. I absolutely just need to focus on stress management and deal with whatever is thrown at me over the next few weeks. Even if things turn out best case scenario, I will have a lot going on, and self care is going to be very important. STAY SANE: Get my diet in order. I lost 5 lbs last challenge and I'd like to keep that momentum going. But let's be honest here - i don't eat when I'm stressed. Not "I don't eat well," just, I don't eat. So I'm going to focus on trying to keep my diet as healthy and normal as possible, while actually making a conscious effort to keep eating. - Eat! - Make good food choices - Don't eat crap I didn't bring to work (occasional popcorn allowed if I'm not eating enough) Strength Train Regularly. I feel better when I work out. I am going to be making up time at work from medical appointments and this massive snow storm. But I need to make an effort to stay active. - Exercise! Aiming for any kind, 2x a week. Preferably weight lifting Work on Decluttering My House. I made some good progress on decluttering last challenge. My kitchen is looking a million times better. I still have some areas that need work in there, as well as most of the rest of the house (eep!). Decluttering is something that takes my mind off stress and brings me peace. I need to keep it up in some form, even while dealing with life. - Get rid of something significant and measureable every week! MOTIVATION "You're going to go through touch times - that's life. But I say, 'Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.' See the positive in negative events." "Be strong when you are weak, brave when you are scared, and humble when you are victorious" PROGRESS

Challenge Summary Diet: This went very well. I am down 5 lbs. Woot. I've been doing good tracking my food and making overall better choices. I like the new diet protocol I've been following, but found out on Friday that I need to get extensive allergy testing done to find out what I'm intolerant to. So the results of that could very well change my diet strategy. Strength: I REALLY like my Unapologetically Powerful program. Well, maybe like is putting it strongly. I enjoy the results and I feel like I'm seeing progress, both to my body and with my strength. I'm going to continue with this program for a while. Decluttering: I got all three of my corners of my kitchen 95% done. That's a big deal. I can tell that upkeep is going to be the biggest issue, but so far I've been doing well with it. I know it's going to be an ongoing battle, but it's totally worth it. Overall: Life handed me a big old bag of crap this week. My husband had major oral surgery. The Chef had minor outpatient surgery (vasectomy). My sister had emergency surgery for a hemorrhaging ovary (!) during a giant city-closing snow storm. I have to have follow up tests done about possible food intolerances. I also had my OB ultrasound today. I have three cysts. Two of them are whatever. But my doctor doesn't like the look of the third one, especially after my sister's massive hemorrhage this week. So, I'm basically waiting on the pathology from my sister's surgery. Where I go from there will depend on her results. I am armed with 3-months of a very low dose of birth control and a follow up appointment if everything turns out OK with pathology. If not... well I'll be having at least one ovary and my uterus removed tout suit. So I'm in the hurry up and wait phase of a possible stress shit-storm. I really shouldn't take birth control, but I don't have many options (estrogen gave my sister breast cancer and my mother a stroke). So really it's like, take my chances with a very low dose of meds since all of my genetic tests came back negative, or have major surgery and remove all of my reproductive organs. So, not a lot of positive there. I do have an official endometriosis diagnosis now, and hopefully it's as simple as that. Best case, I take low dose meds, cysts go away, live happily ever after. Worst case, I lose both ovaries and uterus and get chemo/radiation for cancer and be thrown into medical menopause because I can't take high-strength hormone replacement. Yay life.

I have a LOT going on. Let me see if I can do a week 4, and then I'll do a wrap up. Week 4 Diet: This week good, i think? I mean, i tracked every single day. That was good. I'm still having a hard time with macros and those kind of suffered towards the end. Which is ok. I still tracked. And i was still aware of what I was eating. and hey, I'm down some weight! Weight Check: Challenge start weight: 184.8 Current weight: 179.8 Strength: I got hosed in the strength department last week. I had appointments and work and life and grr. I did lift on Wednesday. And then on Thursday I did a 4 hour photoshoot, which required me to be on my feet and in weird positions. So I'm totally counting it. Saturday I starting hooping and then my boss called to ask a favor. Sigh. But i DID get some headstand practice in after that, and I'm totally counting it as well. And man, am I rusty in that dept. I haven't had a chance to check what my lifting weights are again, but maybe I can do that tomorrow. Decluttering: I donated a box of household goods and a box of toys. And i almost have a bag of clothes ready to go. I kept up on my clean corners. But it's hard. I have a shiny sink, and tons of newfound counter space. Overall, not a bad week.

Well my hubby and I had a major blowout this weekend. We're working through all of the residuals from that, now. But I think it'll be good. I'm just going to update until now: DIet: This could be better. I had a small bag of cheetos and a rum ball for dinner. I am under a tremendous amount of stress right now. But I've been tracking, and making conscious decisions. I did have one thing at work yesterday that I didn't bring, but if I hadn't have purchased a coffee, I wouldn't have gotten one. Which would not have worked for me since I hadn't slept in like 6 nights. Little one is growing, giving her ibuprofen before bed last night helped keep her in her own room all night and I FINALLY got some rest. I'm trying to do good, but I don't have an appetite really with all this drama going on in my life. But I'm trying. Strength: today is the first day I got to the gym this week. My body REALLY didn't want me to be there. As soon as I walked into the locker room my non-injured shoulder started nagging. But I got deadlift day done. I did sumo deadlifts with resistance band pull aparts, rack pulls with overhead press, and then I got to the last sets... i could not do a one arm kettle bell swing. There is nothing on this earth that could have made me do it today. So I listened to my body and instead of doing 2 sets of 2 exercise super sets, I did weighted hip thrusts, weighted crunches, and bent over barbell rows. I was wrecked at the end, and I'm glad I went, but I never really wanted to be there. Decluttering: I'm doing very well keeping up on the kitchen so far. And my hubby is helping (this is one of the things we fought about). We have a lot going on, which I might talk about when I have more time. But we're working through some pretty big stuff, and having him re-focused and helping has been a great start. We have a long road ahead of us, and keeping the kitchen from turning into a disaster area is just the tip of the ice burg. Hopefully he got to the dishes today. I'm super busy at work but wanted to check in while I had a second. Thank you for checking on me

Week 3: Diet: Pass I did as well as I emotionally could this week. I tracked all of my food. That is one of the things I'm really trying to start doing regularly, so that's a great start. My calories were good, even when my macros weren't ideal. I didn't go too crazy on the carbs any day, and that's one of my weakest points. I just still need to get used to more protein. Overall it wasn't a bad week. Strength: Fail I went to the gym 2x. That is not bad. I am seeing and feeling results from my new lifting program, which is what should be happening at week 4 on it. I am not at all displeased with my progress. And the workouts I did get in last week were killer. I just didn't get in a third bonus workout, which I knew was going to be my struggle this month. I can do better. Decluttering: Pass Kicking ass and taking names in this department. Well, sort of. I still have work to do on my last corner. There's one small basket of 'catch all' stuff that needs to be gone through. This was MEANT as a bill-paying station. With envelopes, stamps, return address labels, etc. For some reason it has acquired a bunch of other things, like Kinetic sand, KT tape, and other misc who-knows-what. I need a smaller box that isn't falling apart. And the rest of the stuff in there needs a home. It's a HUGE improvement, and I've managed to keep up well with the other two corners while working on this one. It's been SO NICE having cleared counter space to work with. And this smaller organizer is working so much better than the poor 're-purposed' banana basket. It has a much smaller footprint and serves our needs much better. I had been in denial about needing a spot for 'stuff', now that I've addressed it appropriately, it's working out much better for me. I even have a 10-pocket folder for all the misc paperwork that needs attention, but doesn't need to be on the counter. I still need to scrub this corner, but at least I got the majority of it mucked out. I still call this measurable progress Summary: It was kind of a long, annoying, trying week. But I got through it. This week doesn't look much better, but I'm doing a much better job making the gym a priority even when things are crazy at work (like today). I just need to keep up this balance until all my doctor's appointments are done over the next 3 weeks, and then hopefully things will get back to 'normal' for a bit.

I've been trying to respond to this for days, for some reason this specific message won't post. I'm going to try again without the quote: Do you think it's a side effect of the procedure last week and the anesthesia stuff? Or maybe your body is just purging through the brain rather than the stomach >_<. Either way I hope it gets better soon. I'd start to consider getting ears/passages checked or something if it doesn't. I think after being with my husband for about 10 years now, I've just gotten used to the things I have to clean up after. I make my own messes in a way (he comes home and I will randomly have a project spread all over the table or house) but his are just a lot more regular. We still butt heads on occasion with the kitchen because he is Mr. Food safety and I'm Mrs. All the inspiration-cannot stop to clean until I'm done. We each act as janitor of sorts for each other's messes. I guess all that to say, there will always be that balancing act? Haha. I did appreciate your commentary about having wind down time when you get home. Dr. Focker is frequently amped up from work and needs to decompress, but the kids and I are usually ravenous by the time he walks in the door. I'll have dinner ready and want to sit and eat right away, and he wants to change clothes, relax, hang out a bit. So hearing you reflect about that helps me understand that I'm not helping the situation and I need to work on meal timing better, like snacks for the kids at a better time, etc so we eat at a good time for him. Thanks! Sent by my Navi-powered device! For some reason I totally thought the after work dinner rush was an issue only I had! I'm glad I was able to give you some insight on it. Work can be a dang drain. And then you have to commute. And when I walk in I just want to put on my pajamas and relax for a minute before having to shovel my dinner. I also have an after work but before dinner routine that I like to do so that the next day is easier on me. I'm SO not a morning person. I wish we had a better janitor balance, as it were. Basically I clean up and he and my daughter make the messes Now, he does cook dinner every night. He also takes out the trash, vacuums, unloads the dishwasher and does his own laundry. So it's not like he just exists. He'll clean the stove when I ask, and occasionally will fill the dishwasher. But he's just a messy fellow by nature, and doesn't CARE like I do about where things are **until he can't find them. He's also doing all the daycare duty right now while he isn't working, which is kind of a given. When he does work, I drop her off and he picks her up. We kept her in 3x a week, and then 1x she goes to my inlaws. So he has her one day plus drop off/pick up. That's been a huge help. Marriage is just one of those things. I changed my attitude about the messes, and it's helped a lot. Instead of being mad that he doesn't do things, I just do them and then I'm happy they are done. I think once we own less stuff it'll be easier to keep it tidy. We're working on that, I have two big boxes in my Jeep to drop off at the thrift store tomorrow. Oh I bet the bag of clothes in my closet is almost full, too!

I guess I'll do a weekend update. Friday night I found out that a dear friend passed away the day before. He was 38 and died of a heart attack. That was the start to a difficult and emotional weekend. I still can't get over that. A 38 year old had a heart attack. Diet: My weekend wasn't horrible. I stayed in my calories for the most part (I think i went over by 17 one day). My macros could have been better. The Chef and I needed some alone time after a long emotional week, so we went out for dinner Friday night. Saturday was just a bad day. Lots of issues at home. My husband and daughter fought ALL. DAY. He was just in a mood. Then our friends came over and I had a piece of pizza, but I honestly wasn't that hungry because of the stress. Then of course he was being rude to me in front of our friends, which I don't tolerate. I ended up putting my daughter to bed and leaving. I stay at The Chef's on Saturday nights, and I couldn't get out of my house fast enough. When I got home yesterday I was getting the cold shoulder, and that eventually ended in a huge blow out and FINALLY some decent communication. So we'll see how that goes. We ended up having a snack at McDonald's yesterday so my daughter could burn off some energy, I had gone out to breakfast, and then I had a hard time choking down dinner (even though it was my favorite stuffed salmon). I haven't slept well in like 5 days now, and I'm just drained in every way. Strength: I didn't get a 3rd workout in this week. I don't even feel bad about it. I thought about it at various times over the weekend, but I just didn't have it in me. I thought about it while I was getting dressed, and I've decided to focus on the positives. I am seeing results from my new Unapologetically Powerful routine. I noticed it last week. The workouts are starting to feel good instead of impossible. I am starting to see results here and there. My biceps look fuller, my stomach is flatter, and I'm feeling more confident and capable. The scale is being a jerk, but I don't even mind that much. Physically, I feel really good. AND my nagging shoulder pain is noticeably better. I hurt it last March in crossfit and it's been hurting all the time every sense. It's finally down to a dull roar. I think the accessory work for bench is helping a lot. Decluttering: I managed to work on the last corner of the kitchen on and off both days this weekend. It's not done yet, but it's a lot better. I'll post a photo when I go out to my car at lunch where my phone is. I got a different organization thing and got rid of this banana basket that turned into a catch-all. I admit I moved one of the 'stuff' baskets to the study without even looking at it. But I read somewhere that just removing things from where they don't belong is a good first step. It's all stuff that does not belong in the kitchen, so I feel OK with that. I need to get something for my 'bill paying area' because that box has turned into a 'stuff' container and is falling apart. And I have some important paperwork that I need to take care of. But I had friends over Saturday night and they told me how amazing and clean my kitchen looked, and that felt good. I've managed to keep up on the other two corners, and my husband even helped to tidy up more this weekend. There's definitely progress. So, yeah. Bad weekend after a bad week. I feel very emotionally vulnerable and exhausted right now. But there are glimmers of hope. I am progressing in some areas, which make it easier to deal with the frustrating parts. I guess some days that's all you can ask for

My migraine finally subsided yesterday. I don't know why I occasionally get migraines, but that's the worst one I've had in a while. I'm just glad it's gone! So today was my OB appointment. I have to get an ultrasound done on the 3rd. They are thinking run of the mill cysts and fibroids, but want to make sure. There is one cyst on my cervix that they want to look at closer to see if they want to get a biopsy, but she's not seriously concerned about it. My left ovary is also inflamed which she said is consistent with cysts. Let me tell you what, I am in PAIN today. This is getting ridiculous. I'm not sure what my options are even if it is just cysts and fibroids. I might try some progesterone, but I can't take estrogen (gave my mother a stroke and my sister had to have a double mastectomy from breast cancer). I'm hoping it's nothing serious, but I still have a ways to go with figuring out all my health stuff. Despite all that, I am still chugging along. Diet: Yesterday was fine. Now I admit I did have two grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner. But they were on sprouted grains, and I stayed in my macros. My husband and daughter had eaten at my inlaws and it was that or fend for myself. Grilled cheese is one of my comfort foods, and since i could fit it in my day, i figured what the heck. Strength: Yesterday was bench day. I am totally thinking of doing my weight lifting on Tues and Thurs - I was ALONE in the weight room for most of my workout. That was so nice. I am almost always the only woman in there, but I don't generally have the place all to myself. I'm thinking that and then doing a 'fun' workout at home over the weekend. I need to get back into my headstand practice and yoga/stretching. I did dumbbell floor press with resistance band pull aparts, close grip bench with box pistol squats, barbell row with weighted crunches, and reverse flies with weighted glute bridges. It's funny that my glutes are what hurt the most the day after bench day Decluttering: Man last night is a blur. All this health stuff had me pretty anxious. And then The Chef decided he needed to have a deep emotional conversation. That pretty much resulted in me crying most of the night. I know I picked up the kitchen, and grumbled that my husband hadn't emptied the dish washer. I got my clothes for today picked out. I cuddled my daughter and talked to my hubby some. We watched some TV while texting The Chef. I went to bed way too late and way too emotional. I looked like hell when I got up this morning, puffy eyes FTW. And I know none of this has anything to do with decluttering, so suffice to say I didn't get much done in that arena. The moral of the story is: I'm way too old for pregnancy scares and way too young to be worrying about girlie cancer. Sometimes life just likes to throw you a bunch of stuff all at once. I'm sure I won't update about the rest of today. Today is a rest day. I have all of my food packed in my lunchbox. Besides massive pelvic pain, today should be pretty uneventful. Tomorrow night we have our friends over and it's my bi-monthly "cheat" night. I'll figure out a workout to do sometime over the weekend. I also have the last disaster corner of the kitchen on my radar. I'm not sure what it's going to take to get that area under control. Seriously, it's the worst spot. I need to find some kind of desk organizer for the things I just know are always going to end up in there. That's probably a 2-day project. I sure hope I'll have good progress to report and amazing after photos. I'm just so emotionally drained by walking into the house and immediately being affronted by that mess.

Things are still going well this week.Let's see, so yesterday: DIet: My eating was fine. Right on track. A little lower on calories, which was fine since it was a rest day. Macros were good. I need to stop eating my afternoon snack so late, but that's really the only complaint I have right now. Strength: Rest day, and I was thrilled that I was just normal-people sore. Finally getting my body accustomed to the new lifting program. I'm still a little sore today, so it's working fine, just not "omg I can't sit on another toilet or I'll die!" sore. Decluttering: It was another light day in this area. I finished loading the dishwasher and ran it. Straightened up my clean corners. I know that the 'coffee corner' is going to be a continual struggle. This is where my husband likes to do food prep, and he's absolutely incapable of putting things away after he uses them. We've had many fights about this, and I'll never win (he literally put the olive oil right in front of the platter that it goes on to control drips. derp). I have brown place mats that sit under the Keurig - these literally saved my marriage. He grinds his own coffee, but he's a slob. So every. damn. morning. there would be coffee grounds all over the kitchen counter. Now they are contained by the place mats, and I just toss them in the wash once a week. Best idea my mother ever had. My head was absolutely pounding by last night. My "emergency" prescription meds weren't even touching it. I was pretty much a useless mess. The kids managed to be good and not destroy my house for once, so that was good. I just laid with my head in The Chef's lap and he pet my hair. I didn't sleep good last night, which is the third night in a row now. I woke up and the headache is still there. It's a little more dull than it was yesterday, but not great. And I don't dare take anything else too strong because of my stomach inflammation. So, it's going to be another hazy day of wanting to put a pencil in my eye. But at least it's bench day.

I hope you are feeling better before your flight home! flying while sick is SO miserable. I know this is too late, but my doc recommends Afrin the day you fly, like 30 min before you board, and then as you taxi. That should help keep your sinuses/ears safe. Double decongestants is also not a bad idea. Do you neti pot? that would also be an option in the morning. My ears hurt for you just thinking about it. Yay for two runs while on vacation and not feeling good! You are a beast! Great job I know how hard it is to stay sane while on vacation. All I want to do is eat all the food and sleep all the time. Oh and do (and drink) all the things. Keeping any semblance of normalcy is a huge deal. I hope you guys don't get the storm they think you're going to have. Although you're right, shoveling that kind of snow counts as like a triple workout. We are pretty lazy here in Colorado. If it snows, most of us don't shovel. Because it's so dry here, the snow is mostly melted/evaporated in a day or two. We're spoiled that way. Have a safe trip home!

All that cleaning totally counts as body stuff! That's a lot of work, especially for a pregnant lady. I'm sure it feels good to have a lot of that dealt with Sorry you don't have many alternative options in your area, but you are right - everything is going to be just fine. You are a pro at the baby thing now. And having a doctor for a husband can only help while you are in the hospital. I had an alarmingly fast labor. My water broke at 3 am and when I tried to lay back down I immediately had a contraction. I closed my eyes, and had another. It had been 5 minutes. I tried to take a shower to relax, and when I got out they were 3 min apart. I went straight to the hospital. I was hardly dilated when I got there, but was at 8cm in an hour (they were ignoring me because it was shift change and they had some horribly demanding woman in there trying to get a last minute epidural). All in all it was 6 hours from water break to baby in my arms. I only pushed for an hour, and part of that was because I was avoiding doing it. They told me if I ever have any more kids that I have to get to the ER as SOON as I even think I'm in labor. If there is a next time, I doubt I'd have time for anything other than getting myself to the hospital. And I don't think I'd use that midwife again, and she's the only medically cleared one in town. I'm glad you have gotten some good mind stuff in! I totally forgot you weren't doing Facebook this challenge. I have cut back on mine quite a bit since the beginning of the year. It's nice. Really nice. I still check in to a group I'm in with other Academy women and do a quick scroll just to see what's going on, but I make sure it's the last thing I do in the evenings. A two person desk sounds great! That's a really neat idea. We haven't been the budgeting type, but we really need to be. It wasn't such a big deal while my husband was working, but now that he's not I need to go through stuff again. I got rid of most of our unimportant expenses, reduced most of our bills, and paid off 99% of our credit cards. So there's just a few lingering things to take care of, and then we need to start saving and prioritizing projects. There's always something to get done. Hope you are getting some good rest this week. I know I stopped sleeping through the night when I got pregnant. I haven't been able to do it since. Sure does a number to your body, especially while you are pregnant! Besides being tired it sounds like you are feeling pretty good, so that's great

Yesterday was another good day. Diet: Did great in this area. Only went over my macros in fiber again, which is totally fine with me. Had some amazing home made ramen last night, and my hubby got me some interesting fruit from the Asian store. My stomach is still burning quite a bit, I see some prescription antacids in my future. But I'm doing great not eating anything I didn't bring with me to work. Yesterday I was down to 179.2 - which I was excited about. I've been wanting to get back into the 170s so bad. I was 181 again this morning, but that's why I only track my weight once a week. It fluctuates so bad and makes me crazy. I'm just going to count yesterday and not worry about it again until next week. I really want to get a new fancy scale and do trend weight like Karina does. One of these days Weekly Weight Check: Challenge start weight: 184.8 Current weight: 179.2 Strength: Yesterday was squat day. I did zerker squats with ankle mobility, box squats with weight plate rows, pull throughs with knee-to-elbow planks, and jump squats with strict one arm dumbbell press. I didn't go too crazy on the weight since I've been SO SORE the last three weeks. This was a good call on my behalf. I feel like a normal person today - a normal person who worked out, but not a cripple. I'm sore, but not waddling. I have to remind myself that it doesn't matter what the weight is on the bar. No one cares. There is a delicate balance between pushing myself and making myself miserable. I was still sweaty and tired and exhausted, but today I don't hate life. So this is a big win Decluttering: I think most of my time right now is in the "keep the clean places clear" arena. Dinner was ready the second I walked in the door. I hate that (not that I'm complaining, my hubby is the best for cooking all the time). But I like to decompress and take care of things before I sit down to eat. So I did those things in record speed while my food was waiting for me. I cleared out the few things in the sink, tidied up one of my two clear spots, picked out my clothes, and found my missing swim suit. I found it by tearing through my basket of clean clothes instead of putting them all away, but at least I found it. I picked up some toys strewn around the living room. I made my daughter pick up her toys from her bath and put them away. I started a load of her laundry after scouring the house locating misc pant and underwear combos that she leaves heaven-knows-where. That and socks, I swear. I put on PJs and then had dinner. The issue is that once I sit down to eat, I don't want to get back up. I know that about myself, which is why I try to get stuff done before hand. I did get up after I ate and put the dinner dishes in the dishwasher, and then picked up the other cleared area that he had destroyed during food prep. My biggest struggle is that my hubby is a slob, and he allows my daughter to be the same. So then I have to be the bad guy and force her to take care of things. I appreciate that he bathed her, but how hard is it to make her put her toys up before he gets her out of the bath? He just doesn't think about it, and it INFURIATES me to have to pick up a tub full of toys at 0-dark-thirty if she left them out. i find his socks pretty much everywhere, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised she is the same. She likes to help out, so it's usually not a huge fight or anything. He just doesn't even think about it. When *I* see a naked baby, I ask her where her clothes went. He just helps her change into her dress-up clothes. I found THREE sets of pants and panties in the spare bathroom bathtub. For real? I've managed to keep her room clean because I help her pick it up. She also doesn't play in there by herself that often. The Chef is coming over with his kids tonight, and that's when her room normally get destroyed. After the sticker, sharpie and water bottle fiasco two weeks ago, I'm not sure they'll be allowed to be in there alone tonight. I guess we'll see. I always make them pick up when they are done, but then I find stuff shoved in weird places. I'm not sure how hard it is to put the toys back in the toy box instead of hiding them in the closet, but what do I know? I had a RAGING migraine last night. But I didn't want to go through the effort of eating oatmeal in order to be able to take pain meds. That's pretty much the only way they don't hurt my stomach right now. I drank a bunch of water and went to bed. Which of course resulted in me having to get up to pee in the middle of the night. I also woke up with the same headache (sigh). I got to work and had some oatmeal and meds, so I'm just drinking coffee waiting for them to kick in (it's been a bit, so I might be SOL this time). I'll take my lax ball to my neck muscles in a little bit to see if that helps. I just don't think I'm going to be moving very fast today.

Yesterday: Diet: I'm finally making better choices at restaurants again. That is definitely helpful. I didn't eat out for so long that I was kind of in that "last supper" phase where I had to have all the high-calorie food I had missed out on for so long. But yesterday I had a beautiful pear and candied pecan salad with goat cheese and some chai tea. Right now I only eat out 1x a week plus every other Saturday for sure. We had gotten a little loose on it while my husband was working again (he was out of work for 3 years and stayed home with our daughter, so we didn't go out to eat at all. He worked last year, and we have gotten bad, ugh). As long as I can make better choices when I do go out, it will be much easier for me. Strength: Yesterday was a government holiday, so I got the day off. I went to the hot springs, ate at my favorite organic restaurant, and then saw The Chef, who just got home from a visit back home. So overall it was a pretty decent day. Low key but I needed some more self care. I bought more of my favorite body lotion and enjoyed some winter sun. Decluttering: I wasn't home much yesterday. I loaded and ran the dishwasher in the morning and cleaned up my two organized corners in the kitchen. I did some laundry. I got pissed off at myself because I cannot find my favorite swim suit. I have no idea where that stupid thing ended up. Why can't i just put things back where they belong?! So now I have to locate that. I think it might be in my laundry basket (full of clean clothes), so I'm going to work on that some tonight.

Week 2: Week 2 went pretty good, considering 3 of the days consisted of either preparing for or receiving medical procedures. Diet: Pass Wednesday I had to eat low fiber. Thursday was an all liquid diet. Friday I didn't feel much like eating. But aside from that, the week went good. And I still managed to track my food every. damn. day. Yes, even the liquid-only day. I feel pretty proud about that. I was sad that a gallon of laxative didn't make me lose more than 1 pound. But that goes to show you that weight loss is a multi-faceted thing. I'm actually down more this morning than I was Friday morning. I've had a lot of people say they've lost weight after those kinds of procedures after flushing all the troubled bacteria out of your system. So here's hoping it kicked off some weight loss for a little while. Strength: Pass I went to the gym 2x last week. I dead deadlifts one day and bench the other. Both were pretty good days. Then on Saturday I went to the indoor trampoline park with my daughter for a birthday party. I paid for myself and jumped with the kids for at least a half hour. So that was fun. Plus, I'll never turn down "cool mom" points. We all had fun and my daughter loved that I played with them. Decluttering: Pass Got another corner of the kitchen and under the sink done. That was no small task with how crappy and tired I was for a good portion of the weekend. Plus my husband came home and wanted to make coffee right as I was cleaning that side of the kitchen. Seriously? But it got done, and I'm going to keep it tidy!

My husband has to have a molar pulled this week, and I'm totally going to tell him about the audio books! I bet that would help him a lot. He is not excited (not that I can blame him). I wasn't able to do anything like, since I was unconscious but the anesthesiologist was nice. They took care of me. But I woke up with like 20 blankets on me. I always shake when I'm cold/in pain/stressed, and I warned them ahead of time. I guess they were proactive about keeping me warm I'm totally going to look into that tea. I think coffee might be one of the acidic things that is bothering my stomach, and I could use a good alternative. Thank you! I would LOVE granite. I don't even care what I'd have to do to take care of it but I am really bad about just cutting wherever on my counter. I think that cutting board counters will be the best solution for all the issues. I'll have to look into that once my husband is working again. The IV thing is a recurring issue I'm afraid. I had medically induced dehydration, and my veins SUCK to begin with. A nurse stuck me once, and gave up. Another looked at me and went to get the anesthesiologist. And then HE had to poke me 3 more times. One of the ones blew out, so he ended up using my had. Can I just say that hand IVs are THE WORST!? I have the most delicate and thin hand-skin, and it just HURTS. I was not thrilled. But it was really the only option we had because they didn't have an ultrasound machine in the out patient building. Piffle. But yes, my super buff tendons totally freak out the younger phlebotomists. They are hard as a rock and RIGHT by my veins. I usually need a baby butterfly needle to get blood, and when they need a larger needle most nurses are just like 'nope.' I've even been asked not to donate blood any more I did pre-order Level Up Your Life. It's sitting on my dining room table, unopened. I know a lot of people really like it. I just haven't started it yet. But I've been to camp and been a part of all the private groups for a long time, so I'm happy to talk about it with anyone who would like. I'll get to reading it. I took as good of care of myself as I could. Went to the hot springs and to my favorite organic restaurant yesterday with my husband for my day off. It was lovely. I also got a lot of kudos from my doctor about what a good job I'm doing with my cholesterol. That is one of my biggest problem areas (again with the genetics), so that was nice to hear. She had nothing but good things to say, and she happily filled out all the forms for my stupid life insurance people. So at least I can check 'yearly physical' and 'life insurance paperwork' off of my list. I don't think painting these counters would do much for me, I'm afraid. The cream colored tile cleans easy enough with a pumice stone. It's the light gray grout that gives me a headache. And the fact that they are uneven. Seriously, I had no idea what a pain that would be in a kitchen. Nothing ever sits flat. And things fall all the time because it throws you (and the balance) off. It's seriously obnoxious stuff. But on my list of things that need to be replaced ASAP, this is not one of them. My hot water heater is the next on my "It has to go" list, followed by the dishwasher. All of my appliances are over 12 years old now, and need to be replaced as I can. The washer and drier got done last year (that was an ordeal and a half). I blow a lot of gaskets. Since he's not working right now, he IS doing a better job helping. He's doing much better at keeping up with the dishes, and is helping me with child care. He takes her to day care 3x a week, stays with her 1x, and my mother in law has her 1x. So he's been vacuuming, picking up, and doing maintenance things like fixing my garage door and cleaning his new car. So things have been better. I may or may not have chewed him out before the unemployment started, which I think helped There is no way I'm working all day, paying for daycare, taking care of all the bills AND doing all the household chores when he only has our daughter 1 full day a week. No. Way. He used to have a really bad habit of playing video games all day, so hopefully we don't go down that road again. I don't think my marriage would survive it again. I think the hardest part about becoming organized is STAYING organized. My timehop reminded me this weekend that my last 8-hour kitchen cleaning free-for-all was a year ago. The problem was, I never really did anything to keep it up. I just let stuff creep back in there. So now I'm making a conscious effort to clean the dishes out of the sink and reorganize the places I've cleaned twice a day. It only takes me a minute, and I should be able to keep up on it easier that way. My spare bathroom is the only room I totally mucked out that has stayed nice and organized. And even that could use a good clean-out under the sink again. I have managed to keep that up for a year, so there's hope for me. Part of the issue now is the kitchen stuff has moved to the dining room (which we don't use). Part of me is tempted to get rid of my dining room table, but we'll see. I'm not going to be too rash. One thing at a time.

Thank you for all the love! The procedures went well. They took over 20 biopsies. The only obvious thing is some stomach inflammation (gastritis). My follow up with all the test results is in two weeks. Besides some pretty bad IV drama, it went very uneventfully. I'm still not feeling 100%, but I'm better. I'm pretty sure I had an ovarian cyst rupture yesterday. So overall I'm feeling way better. I have that appointment on Friday. Tomorrow is a physical and paperwork for my new life insurance. So lots of doctor appointments this month. Today I finally felt well enough to work on the kitchen. It's pissing me off way too much to ignore. I have one more corner to deal with next weekend. The remaining cabinets will be after that. So, that's something. This is one of the areas that will always have way too much crap on it. But that's because of the way my husband operates. I've at least corraled it and can keep it somewhat contained. I hate this tile. It's uneven and they didn't seal it correctly. I cannot keep the grout clean. Once my husband is working again I want to save up for butcher block counters. These things are the worst when you live with a slob :/ Under the sink. Much better. I love the curtain rod idea.

And the anxiety sets in. I am SO not excited about my procedures tomorrow. I am on the verge of a mental breakdown. Things like anesthesia set my anxiety off really bad, I can't even tell you. I'm in a carefully controlled state of panic right now. Diet: Today is an all liquid diet. I can't have anything red, purple or blue (seriously?). I had a generic ensure for breakfast. I'll have another for lunch and dinner. I also have mango juice, a sprite (that's a huge treat for me), some homemade jello and nasty chicken broth. So, it should be an exciting day. Like 4x the sugar and 2x the carbs I'm used to. PLUS I'm not taking my blood sugar meds ahead of the surgery. So I should be good and roller-coastery today. I have to drink a 1/2 gallon of miralax gatorade water after work. Then I have to get up at 4-f'ing-AM tomorrow to drink the other half. It's going to be a long annoying night. Strength: Bench day was good yesterday. My forearms were OVER IT by the time I got to the last super set. BUT I'm not too sore today, so my body is finally acclimating. I did incline barbell bench with weighted PVC shoulder dislocates, incline dumbbell bench press with box pistol squats (OMG these are SO HARD), one arm kettlebell rows with weighted crunch, and front shoulder raises with glute bridges. I haven't been taking my acid reducer this week ahead of the surgery, so my stomach was ON FIRE yesterday. I had to take frequent breaks between sets because I was feeling urpy. I got back to work and didn't have any here, either (seriously?). So I had a long miserable day. I had some baking soda water and an antacid when I got home, and took another this morning. Whatever they need to see tomorrow, they can see with as small amount of meds as I can handle and still be sane. They didn't ask me to do that, I just thought it would be beneficial. Decluttering: I had a mini meltdown about how beautiful my clean corner is, and what an absolute train wreck the rest of the kitchen is. Granted, I wasn't feeling well enough to do anything about it, but I was sure upset. I think that's going to help give me the motivation I need for the rest of the kitchen, but right now it's just depressing. I want my whole house to bring me peace like that, but I'm no where near that yet. The best I could do is make my bed, start a load of laundry, and then spend time with my daughter. I just need to get through tomorrow, then I can start really diving in to the decluttering again. I'm actually looking forward to it, so I'm going to roll with it. I have a four day weekend, and while one of those days will be spent unpleasantly, the other 3 days won't. So, weird thing. I only had three solid things to eat yesterday: chicken, egg noodles and catfish nuggets (thank you Karina!). So by last night my constant stomach ache was pretty much gone. Weird. So I guess I need to narrow down what I normally have and see what is bothering me so much. But at least that's information. BUT this morning my tummy started to get upset, and I think it's from the cornmeal hubby used on the catfish. So I'm 99% sure I've narrowed one of my sensitivities down to corn. This is so annoying, food sensitivities suck. I am so not looking forward to figuring all of this out. I just want to feel better again

I am glad you made it, have a wonderful time I hope you start to feel better soon, that sounds horrible. Big hugs.

I'm sorry you had such a bad day yesterday. I hope today is better for you. i just can't even imagine the horror of taking two kids to an OB appointment. You seriously should get a metal for surviving that. I ended up delivering at a hospital with a Midwife and a Doula. My doula was also a birth photographer. So all around, I liked that setup. Although to be honest, the midwife could have done a better job. She was OK. Really the doula was the best part of the experience for me. The doctor/midwife was there to make sure things were OK and to catch the baby You might consider something like that, it might be helpful for you. If I had to rely on my midwife and husband to get me through... well I'm not entirely sure I would have made it. There was all kinds of drama I didn't know about until after the fact, like my labor stalling and the baby getting distressed. We both came out OK, but then the midwife took FOREVER stitching me up. I was seriously annoyed. But they let me waive the eye ointment and some of the immediate shots, and they let me wait to cut the umbilical cord until the placenta had stopped flowing (is that the right word? pulsing sounds icky). I was able to breastfeed right away and they let me bond with her for a while before they took her off to do their thing. My husband got to go with for that. I got out of there within one day, but STILL got Strep B like a week later (sigh). Stupid hospitals. Much love to you, I know you have a lot going on. You just have to do what you can do