teddie.bare

Thank you for all the love, I needed it this morning <3 I'm not sure what's up with the chicken. I think I have difficulty digesting animal protein in general. I gave up red meat over 15 years ago, and was a vegetarian until maybe two years ago. I cut chicken out for two weeks and was fine, added it back and I'm not. There's definitely a food sensitivity issue there. My husband does all the grocery shopping and cooking, so I'm not sure what he's getting. I know he shops at Target and is fairly picky on the quality of meat (especially fish). I just have to get through the chicken we've already purchased and then I'll cut it out again. So my diet today sucks. It's a low fiber diet and I glare at the list every time I open it. This is what I can have today: boost/ensure, fish, chicken, eggs, white rice, bread, crackers, plain yogurt, clear fruit juices, noodles, potatoes w/o skin, broth, jello, ^^^^^ sucks. I'm having a target equivalent of boost right now. It's terrible. I have the leftover chicken and egg noodles from dinner, a cup of vanilla yogurt, 16 oz of apple cider juice, and a container of chicken broth today. Blech. My fiber is literally 2 g today, and that's from the noodles. Carbs are a little higher than normal due to the juice. Protein is a little lower because I can't stomach more chicken than that. Tomorrow will be ever more fun (eye roll). AND today is bench day. Figure I should get it in before my body realizes what crappy nutrition it's getting. The nerves are starting to set in. I'm super anxious about being put under. I actually don't care about the rest of it. Luckily it's a twilight drug (propofol), but I am starting to freak out. The Chef flew back home today for his holiday get together with his family, which is a bummer. He calms me down better than anyone else. My mom is taking me on Friday, but I still wish he could be here. My husband isn't working, so he'll be able to toddler wrangle for me. He isn't the most empathetic of caretakers, so I'm not sure how much pampering I'll get after I get home (sometimes he surprises me). All that's left to do is to do it, I suppose. Diet: Yesterday was another great nutrition day. My stomach got upset three times, once from some seaweed salad (what the actual hell?) and twice from chicken. I'm definitely excited to cut chicken back out after this week. My macros were really on point, even with a piece of Dove chocolate after dinner (for my nerves, bad habit). Strength: Yesterday was a rest day, and I needed it. My traps are a tiny bit sore still today, but not terrible. Actually the only place I'm painfully sore right now is in my forearms, which hasn't happened in a long time. I guess that's one of the banes of my gender, having much stronger legs than arms. All those deadlifts just fried my poor wimpy forearms. But they'll catch up Decluttering: I'm going to be honest here, it didn't even cross my mind last night. I made sure my tidy corner was the same as I left it (I had to put one dish brush back in it's bowl I think). I loaded the dishwasher with the few things in the sink. I picked out my clothes. I agonized over the food list for today. I spent lots of time snuggling my daughter. I was distracted because everyone was trying to soothe me. Texting with The Chef and my best friend, talking to my mom on the phone, and discussing the week's schedule with my husband. I didn't even realize until this morning that I hadn't actually consciously done anything other than pick up two dog toys and put my daughter's jacket where they'd find it this morning. But that's ok, I'm going to be kind to myself the next few days. I miss my coffee. I guess I'll make myself some tea and pretend like it's coffee I'm looking forward to getting some energy out at the gym today and escaping in the iron for a bit. It's going to be a long couple days.

How is the morning body work going? That's really great that your husband is willing to work with you on this! I hope that is helping you get motivated. I know I wish I had done more physical activity when I was pregnant. I actually had JUST started working out when I found out I was expecting, but I was the highest weight of my adult life. I fell off that wagon - hard. I only gained 30 lbs, but I was already 212 lbs before hand. I barely walked, let alone exercised! I am sure that my labor would have been much easier, and I would have felt much better, if I had just kept up my exercise. A long hot shower alone is the best! Luckily I get up before my daughter, so I get to enjoy some quiet time in the mornings. Alone time is so important, and I think our men really forget that. I had to just start taking my own time, but it's been a huge help to my mental state. How was date night? I keep forgetting one of my friends has a daughter who babysits. I really need to take her up on that more often. My mom watches my daughter probably 2x a month so we can go out alone, but it might be good to do it more.

I kinda think I know what your specialty for SYODD is going to be This was a very good and important read for me. I've been lamenting for years that I haven't sucked it up and taken formal martial arts training. I have a lot of issue being the nice girl, although it's getting better with age. But I'm also a freak magnet and get a lot of unwanted negative attention. I feel so strongly about it that my 4 year old daughter is already in Taekwondo. I want to give her all the tools I can so she never has to feel like a victim. But I feel a little better now about not pursuing it seriously myself. I forgot how much time and practice and focus it takes to become someone who is just a self defense badass (especially as a woman). I have plenty of tools already at my disposal that I need to remember to use - most importantly my voice. I know why I don't use it, I've had several extremely bad situations arise when I have. So I just need to work on being prepared for backlash when I do use my voice, and not let that possibility be the reason why I tolerate something I shouldn't. Man I'm looking forward to learning more from you on this! This is such important stuff. I know you didn't feel like what you demonstrated was as cool as the rest of the guys, but look at the conversation it started! And just look at how badass you are just being there. You are holding your own there girl, don't ever doubt that. I'd love to see the video of using someone's momentum to help run away. That's some good stuff right there that more people need to be aware of.

Yesterday was another good day. Diet: I am doing good packing my lunch and staying out of office goodies. This is huge for me. Yesterday was my 6-mon anniversary with The Chef, and he made me an awesome dinner. Seared Ahi tuna on seaweed salad, lump crab meat and pear salad, some kind of shrimp in a butter sauce, pickled brussel sprouts and sesame broccoli. Yes, it was as amazing as it sounds. He started lifting and watching his diet around Thanksgiving, so that's really helped with the food temptation The only macro I went over on was fiber, and I'm totally OK with that. So, I've had a bad mystery lower abdominal ache again the last two weeks. I was thinking about it this morning, and I've been eating chicken again the last two weeks. So, interesting. Today is the last day I can eat anywhere near "normal" this week, which includes a small amount of chicken in a soup I brought for lunch. I'll talk to my husband tonight. i know we just got more chicken, but maybe I can try just 1-2x a week and see if that helps.I can't really judge anything the rest of this week getting ready for my scoping, so I'll have to resume food trials next week. Strength: Yesterday was my first Unapologetically Powerful Deadlift day. It went good, but it wasn't easy. I totally did smith machine rack pulls wrong (the squat rack was in use, this was my only other option). I need to get a box to stand on somehow, It ended up being more like a row, which isn't the point. But I'm learning! Lets see if i can remember what i did... Deadlifts and resistance band pull aparts, rack pulls and overhead press, good mornings and bent over rows, and one arm kettle bell swings with Russian twists. I think that covers it. My strained right quad was a little crabby, but not too bad. I didn't go as all out heavy as I could have because of how sore I've been the last couple weeks. I wanted to take it a little easier and get my body used to the new movements. Today my traps are sore as heck. Luckily they only hurt if I flex them, which isn't nearly as much as say a quad But man are my tendons killing me in my inner elbow. I know they take a lot of brunt force because of my hypermobility issues - people HATE taking my blood because of these tendons, I was told they are so hard they feel like bone. My forearms and biceps are also pretty dang sore. I can feel it in my hamstrings, but not like my arms. Decluttering: I didn't really do anything in this arena since I had a date. When i got home the dishes were done but there were a few things that he didn't know what to do with sitting in my newly decluttered corner. So I took a few minutes to put those away. I picked up some dog and kid toys off of the living room floor. And took care of some paperwork. I'm trying to make it a habit to just take care of things when I see them. Health: I figure when I have health updates I'll just add them here as well. My hormone doctor called last night, and the low dose of thyroid meds is working very well. They said my numbers are perfect now, and I don't need to change my dose any. They were still within the normal range before, but borderline. So that's good news. They also were looking at my testosterone since I just had new bioidentical pellets put in 6 weeks ago, and they said everything was good there as well (I don't need a booster or anything). So hey, at least I got one thing figured out

Alrighty Week 1: Diet: Pass This week went good with the diet. I didn't follow it as strictly over the weekend (and had a couple stomach aches to remind me), but I still tracked ALL of my food, and stayed under my calorie goals. This week is going to be terrible with the whole prepping for a colonoscopy thing But I'll do my best. I get a normal day today. I'm trying to reframe this as a hell of a New Year detox Strength: Pass I went to the gym 2x last week, I did squats and bench days. My right quad is still a little pissy from the squats, I'll definitely need a few weeks to adjust to this new heavy lifting regimen. I did the Hotel Bodyweight Level 2 twice on Friday, so I feel pretty accomplished for that. It isn't an hour long iron session, but it'll do. Today is my first deadlift day, and I'm excited about that. I'm not sure how bench day is going to go on Wed with the weird adjusted diet, but it should be OK. I can still have chicken and eggs and yogurt, so I'll figure something out. Decluttering: Pass It's funny. I had total measurable progress this weekend, but part of me still thinks I should have done more. I'm going to ignore that part of my brain, and just focus on what I DID get done - because it was a lot. First 1/4 of the kitchen - done. This includes upper cabinets and paperwork drawer Bathroom medicine cabinets - done. I cannot tell you how amazing it is to have that corner of the kitchen controlled. It brought me so much peace this morning while I was getting ready for work. It is my smoothie prep area, and it worked so much easier for me today. I am so excited to tackle the other sections and get more of my counter space back (one of my pet peeves is not being able to find a spot on the counter to do stuff, like food prep. Overall, I'm excited to get my life back. I'm motivated to have a lovely house that reflects my artistic sensibility and is a warm, inviting space for me. I'm looking forward to feeling better and not having so much pain again. I want to be confident and sure in my life, and I finally feel like I'm heading back in that direction.

Thank you, I like to think I look like I workout. I'm getting there, anyhow. I'm still annoyed that I put some weight on since the fall, but I know how to deal with this. I just need to keep focused. This is one of the hardest parts of adulting for me! Especially right now because I just started a new job. It's like, oh yeah sure I'll get right on taking off more time to go see a doctor I don't want to deal with... But I'm sucking it up. Mostly because I was almost pain free before last summer. Now something hurts pretty much every day again (sigh). Although the worst is a nagging shoulder injury from Crossfit I sustained last March... But it's getting better. Slowly but surely. It's even harder once I read the prep for my procedure Friday. Holy hell, how do people not complain more?? I can't have any fruits or veggies after today. And then on Thursday I have to be on a clear liquid diet - which also means I can't have Red, Blue or Purple liquids (WTF?). I basically get tea, app juice, chicken broth, light colored jello, and popsicles. Oh and ensure. *blink*. This is not conducive to my goals, dammit. I have to eat low fiber tues and wed. Which is basically soup, fish, chicken, eggs, rice, bread, yogur, juice, noodles, broth, and... jello? yeah. Not fun. And I have to get up at 4 am on the day of the procedure and drink a 1/2 gallon of miralax gatorade mix. I am totally weighing myself on Saturday Then next week is the girlie doctor. Might as well just get it all out of the way at once I guess Good luck to you! Here's to getting answers and moving on.

I got two more cabinets done today. Actually three, but the other one wasn't a big enough of a change to take a pic of. Here's the spice cabinet. Still too much stuff, but it's better. And this is my bathroom cabinet. I hit the thrift store with the chef today and got a few things for organization. I'm looking forward to continuing my momentum in the kitchen.

I'll post updates as I have them so I can remember everything on Monday Screw this corner in particular. Not really, but I feel like a boss. I want to dive into more but I don't want to burn out. So I'm gonna have some coffee and waste some time before I decide what to do next. This was the easiest corner to tackle. I rehomed tools and paperwork. I put my kombucha stuff in the "catch all" corner so it doesn't accumulate more. We use the Kong dispenser every day, but it's bulky and I don't know how I'm going to store it (the UFO looking thing). So that'll get moved around. But overall this corner gives me so much more peace now. Eventually I want to get rid of more of the cooking tools. And rehome the kombucha and syrups. But right now I just don't physically have anywhere to put them. I haven't tackled the spice cabinet yet. I don't do the cooking so that's going to be tough. I bet I could toss most of it and he wouldn't notice I need to be prepared for that beast. But for now, coffee P.S. Here's the cabinet. I guess we aren't using that router any more so I was able to reclaim a lot of the space. I may end up getting rid of more from here, but this is much better.

Moving right along. Yesterday: Diet: We had a pretty big winter storm yesterday, and my daughter was in the country with my in-laws. This resulted in most of my night being consumed by driving around in terrible weather. My MIL sent home some tamales for us to eat when we got home, and we were so tired I was like, "what the hell, tamales it is." So I had one chicken tamale with salsa (that counts as a salad, right?). BUT my macros were still amazing. My overall day looked great. Seriously, look at this: Totals 1,713 110 24 157 66 27 Your Daily Goal 1,800 135 25 180 60 58 Remaining 87 24 1 23 -5 30 Calories Carbs Fiber Protein Fat Sugar I'm not going to cry over that. Strength: Much needed rest day. For real, I'm still sore from Monday's Squat All the Things extravaganza. I lax ball rolled my shoulders, which was much needed after bench day. Now I just have to decide how to get my bonus exercise in between now and Sunday. Taking breaks at work to do bodyweight stuff 3x a day had worked well in the past. I may do that today. Decluttering: I posted about this some above. Yesterday I spent some time getting excited about decluttering. I did research. I looked at motivational images. I started making plans for what needs to be done. I thought about organization and storage. I read articles on minimalism. I ordered a few small shelves (for bathroom and kitchen stuff) and a bathtub toy organizer. I looked at mud room furniture. I made a date to hit the second hand store on Sunday. I decided to start in my kitchen. When I got home, I was looking around and trying to solidify some of my thoughts while in the actual space. And then I realized my husband hadn't unloaded the dishwasher (#$(**_) - that's a topic for another time. So i did that, and then emptied the dishes out of the sink. I really paid attention to what is in the kitchen, and started tossing things. I put some of his supplements that he hasn't used in a year in the cupboard. I did the same in my bedroom and bathroom - I'm hyper aware of it right now, and trying to be more conscious. Stuff like an empty box here, or a broken basket there. Just taking the time to see the stuff, and do something with it right then. I think that's the biggest issue I have with my husband, his "do it later" mentality - because later becomes never and I end up getting mad and doing it myself. I also had to clean permanent marker off of my daughter's wooden bed. LPT: rubbing alcohol gets most marker off wood. Toothpaste got off what was left. I'll deal with the stickers this weekend, that's easy enough. I also threw away some random stuff around her room, and picked up some errant clothing. Well fooey. Just found out my hubby is getting laid off today (he's an electrician so this is no surprise). So my honeymoon of having extra money from my new job and him working is over. No biggie, just going to be making some decisions this weekend about frequency of daycare of stuff. So, extra stress, yay.

Thanks. So there's several things going on here. First is that I get ulcers. And since I've had them more than twice i need to get it checked out. I'm also being tested for pylori, Crohn's and eosinophilic esophagitis (EoE). My sister has EoE, and if I do, it's going to be a bad time. The fist thing they do is have you eliminate dairy, egg, wheat, soy, peanut, tree nut, and fish from your diet. Does that sound like a good time? i don't think so, either. The next issue is IBS, and general intestinal pain. Since my dad and grampa both had polyps, i have to get that whole area checked out. I'm not sure if they are going to test this area for anything else specifically, because this end of the test (ha!) was added after my appointment when they reviewed my symptoms. WARNING: Girl talk My pain is mostly like lower tummy/pelvic area. But there are different pains. There is one that moves around. This one can be kind of constant and dull, on and off. However it was kind of building to IBS level, and then going away for the most part after using the bathroom. So that might all be IBS related. Then I get a deep sharper pain on the left side, kind of by my hip. That's either my ovary or my colon (thanks for just shoving all the organs right in there together there God). Now I'm having terrible crampy deep pain the week after my period, which kind of focuses on that left side, so now I'm thinking i might have a cyst or fibroid (I just found out my mom had fibroids). I found a bump on my cervix, and while i had it checked, I'm not very confident in that doctor's reassurance that it was a benign cyst (long story). So anyhow, I have two GI doc appointments and one with a new OB this month. But my hormones are DEFINITELY an issue. My testosterone dumped so bad I'm on a bioidentical replacement (I feel much better). My mom started menopause at 38 and I'm 37 so I'm sure I'm peri-menopausal. There's lots of other issues in this area, mostly a totally erratic period that is long, heavy, and super painful - and it gets worse every month. Oh and last month i started having sharp pain before orgasm, which totally is awesome (rolling eyes). So it's like my intestines are mad and so are my reproductive organs and oh yeah, how about some ulcers? I'm a mess. They put me on thyroid meds last month (FINALLY) and that helped my intestinal/digestive stuff immensely. So much. And then I cleaned my diet back up and that's helped a lot, too. But i still have valid genetic garbage that I need to just get checked, and really chances are I'll get no answers other then "looks ok." Which is fine. I got rid of IBS with diet before, I haven't had red meat in over 15 years. I can figure this out, too. My great grandmother had celliac's, and my aunt is gluten sensitive, but I don't eat much gluten. I might just have to tighten up my gluten-free-ness if I can't figure out anything else substantial. TMI? sorry, you got me on a roll

I hope you start feeling better. I hate it when something like a cold gets in a way of exercise momentum! makes me crazy. i need to figure out how to get nerdier with my finances. I've had a nice 401K since I was 20, so there's that. But i just started earning enough that I'm not living pay check to pay check, and last year we finally got all of our credit cards paid off (mostly because my father died and i got an inheritance). So now I feel like I'm in a good place with means to be an actual adult, and I'm not sure where to start Well, I do. There's a tattoo fund, a hawaii fund, and a vegas fund I'm putting anything extra into And i have a good cushion in my savings account. But it's funny when you work all of your adult life to get to a place, and then you arrive there and you're all "I donno wtf to do now. Hello Amazon..." So I need to get that sorted at some point.

Just a quick update while I have access to photos! Here's a new progress photo. Makes me feel better about my recent small weight gain So there's that. Makes me pretty happy, actually. On to more strength gains! Yesterday I spent a bunch of time planning what I want to do with this mess of a house. I decided to start with the kitchen (again). It's my biggest bone of contention, and that always makes me want to leave it for last. I actually am making progress, I got rid of loads of stuff the last time I tackled it, and haven't really gained much new junk. It's just a dumping ground for things that don't belong there since my house is so small. Tools? Don't belong in the kitchen. Paperwork? Also needs a new home. I need a new storage answer for dog treats and a few other legit things, and I need to get more kitchen things off the counter I am starting in this corner this weekend. The left most cabinets mostly have router stuff in them (!!). I can't do much about that, but they need to be reorganized so I can use some of that space. The other cabinet is the dreaded spice cabinet. I'll work on that. But mostly the tools and paperwork in this corner need removing, a few things need to be put away, and it needs reconsideration. There's a cabinet below that I cleaned out that can hold some of it. And a drawer of nothing but warranties I'm going to repurpose. I can do this

Real talk: my life is hectic. That's why I'm in this situation. After adulting more yesterday, I now have some kind of obligation every. single. friday. this month. And 3/4 weeks it's with a doctor. There's no way I'm going to get lifting in on Fridays this month, just no way. I am at a brand new job and i don't have a lot of vacation time yet, so I'm going to be making up hours. Because of other life things that are more important, I can only work so late every day. So I adjusted my goals. I want to lift 2x a week BUT I have to get in a bonus workout as well. Either body weight stuff throughout the day at work, or a workout at home over the weekend. I have the time for that. I just have a hard time committing to workouts outside the gym. I need to buck up until I can do 3 strength training days a week at work. This week I did squat and bench. I'm still sore as shit. Which is another reason why I'm not sad about cutting myself some slack while I deal with some health crap. None of it I want to face, i mean who does? But I've had lower abdominal pain pretty consistently since JUNE and i need some answers.So, I'm going to adult the hell out of January, and get back into the lifting groove without killing myself. So yesterday DIet: Diet went great. Let's see. Did fine all day. Got home and had dinner. Did good staying out of crap in the kitchen. Then the Chef I'm dating decided to take one of my taunts as a challenge. I told him tofu would never be as good as brownies. So guess what he brought me? that's right, tofu brownies. They taste amazing, but they are more like custard, to be fair. So i had a small square of protein tofu custard Not the end of the world. Weekly Weight Check: Challenge start weight: 184.8 Current weight: 181.8 Strength: Yesterday was bench day. It was kind of busy at the gym, which is unusual. I did floor press and shoulder dislocates. Then incline bench with skater squats (fuuuuuuck with my sore muscles). After that it was one arm bent over rows with knee-to-elbow planks. And I ended with lateral raises and supermans. My upper body isn't getting as stupid sore as my lower body, but that doesn't mean I'm not feeling the hell out of that in my shoulders today. Decluttering: Today wasn't as big of a decluttering day, mostly because I was rushing. Hubby had to go go Costco after work, so he got home the same time I did. Yesterday was date night with our other-significant-others, so that meant we had like 30 min for him to cook dinner and shower before leaving, and i had to work around him to do anything i wanted to get done (he usually has dinner ready when I get home). I finished loading the dishwasher and tossed a few things that I saw in the kitchen. I already had an outfit picked out, and I didn't feel like changing, so that cut some time out. I basically just flew through the house and found things to either put away or toss. I made some mental notes of bigger things I'd like to deal with this weekend (like putting away the rest of the Christmas crap). It was my night with all the kids, and the girls decided to lose their minds in my daughter's bedroom. Now I get to figure out how to clean sharpie off of wood (looks like toothpaste), and get all the stickers off her bed (at least stickers are easy). They also snuck in a water bottle and were spraying everything they could find. i wasn't a happy camper. That's what I get for thinking they were being good and watching TV. Rookie mistake.

Being consistently present is such a hard thing. I'm struggling with it myself. One of the things I do is have a "you must do this first" chore before I can play with my phone. I can't have it during the day, so this really just applies to the evenings. So I have to do the dishes, pack what I can of my lunch, and pick out my clothes for the next day before I even sit on a couch. And then I have to eat dinner before I open Facebook. It helps when I feel like I've been productive first. it's so hard, and adulating is not fun. I try to be very lavish with my self-praise when I do something I really didn't want to. I have several medical tests this month that I DO NOT WANT TO DO, but I am proud of myself for facing them. I have to call several other offices about paperwork for my life insurance, and I've stared at it every day. I have to call two of them this afternoon to have it off my plate. I make myself smaller, less scary goals, and then go crazy with the atta-girl when I actually do it. I focus on the relief I feel having it done, and that helps motivate me to do more things I am avoiding. When I went through the very difficult purge of my closet I really just focused on the peace it would bring me. My closet would only be filled with things I love! It's going to be amazing! and then I made sure to enjoy and celebrate every small step I took towards that goal. I'm not 100% there yet, but I'm much closer than I was. And now, getting rid of clothes isn't nearly so traumatic for me (why is that such a thing!?) So, think about how beautiful and amazing your office is going to be! you will have a great place to do productive work! And how awesome are your rooms going to be? your kids are going to love having a new space, and you are going to make it so great for them! Then as you get each of the parts done, stand back and really look at the work you've done, and take in the change. Feel the relief it brings you, and focus on enjoying the outcome

Stupid java not working right on this machine... anyhow! There were two broken humidifiers. One in my bedroom and one in the livingroom. I'm not sure why there was even more than one! but they are long gone now! I have a very strange husband. Day 2! Also a pretty good success. Lets see: Diet: The only things I ate that were not on my plan were peanut butter again (gonna just go with it, my fat is too low obviously) and one square of dark Dove chocolate. Not shabby. Down almost another pound today. We'll see how my official weigh in is tomorrow. I am using a new vegan protein powder and today managed to make it much more tolerable. It's still like drinking chalk, but at least it's somewhat delicious chalk now. Strength: No workout yesterday, but DOMS from hell. If my legs aren't made of damn steel by this summer, I'll be highly disappointed. I've been waddling for two weeks now. I think I've had exactly 2 days of not hurting in the last 14. But that's ok. I'm doing hard work, dang it! Today is bench day. I will bench all the things. Seriously, this plan is insane. Let me just give you a quick overview of my leg day Monday: tldr; squats Squats (zercher, goblet, front - because of equipment availability) and ankle mobility (kind of like lunges), then wide leg goblet squats with bent over rows. Followed with jumping squats and push presses, and finished with single-leg glute bridges and some weighted crunches. I am feeling all the legs. Every muscle. My bench day is similar. Decluttering: I made a concerted effort to throw things away as I went through my nightly routine. I put away a few things in the kitchen that had been left on the counter. I picked up a handful of things I knew I didn't want on the dresser and tossed them. I put away a comforter that had somehow found it's way to the livingroom. I went through the mail and my daughters papers from school and got rid of everything that wasn't important. I threw out a few random things in the living room (cheap toys will be the death of me, I swear). So nothing huge, but small strides. I just need to keep that up.

Hi! I missed you! can't wait to hear about stuff and things! xoxo

Catfish nuggets!? where has this been all my life? totally going to look into this. Protein is totally hard for me, i'm a recovering vegetarian. I've managed some good numbers yesterday and today, and I'll be focusing on that this time as well. I think catfish nuggets is definitely a way to accomplish this! also? the internet is a time suck. I fall into that trap every day (like, right now). It's hard where that's where all the people you like live (sigh). But i did have a realization the other night that if I just cut some of that time out, i could have so much more time for other things that are important to me. I need to stop avoiding adulting by staring at my screen(s). I'm not sure how I'm going to do that, but I'll figure it out. I started by having to do most of my HAVE TO DO chores before I touched my phone after work. I literally walk in the door and clear out the sink in my work clothes. Then I pack as much of my lunch as I can, and get in my jammies. While in my bedroom I pick out my clothes for the next day. All those thing stress me out, so it' nice to have them done. Then i can sit down and do whatever i want. I'm going to add "declutter something a little" to that list, and hope it sticks as well as the other habits. I'm with you on the pull-ups! I want to do this SO BAD. But I have too much fat and not enough strength and pooey. I'm going to work on it though! I even found a great new plan to do.Here's the link Asking for help (or having a melt down and demanding it in my case) really does do wonders. I know that as the woman you want to do ALL THE THINGS, but seriously, you shouldn't have to. No matter how busy your spouse is. You deserve help. Some day I'll get my sewing machine working. Then I'll bug you to tell me how to make skirts But i love that you are focusing on the YOU, because you deserve it

So good to be back I missed you guys! So day 1. Day 1 was good. I followed the diet plan almost to a T. I had a half cup of refried beans with dinner because I felt a little light on calories. I also had less than a tsp of peanut butter when I was getting dog treats ready for today. Overall way better than the EAT ALL THE THINGS pattern I had gotten into over the holidays. Diet: My official weigh in days will be Thursday. I really need to look into getting a new scale. Anyhow, after day 1 I was down 1.5 lbs. I knew I was just eating like an asshole. I did great with water yesterday, I didn't eat anything I didn't bring to work, and holy hell my legs are killing me from squat day. Exercise: That lifting program I'm doing is no joke. It focuses on increasing strength with bench, squat and deadlift. You work accessory muscles, based on bio-feedback. I really like it so far. I will be reminding myself of that every time I get up out of my chair today (owie!). Decluttering: When I got home I put away a bunch of my daughters drawings that I want to keep (she's learning to write her name, and just started drawing our family. it's so cute!). I also took the extra blanket off the bed that's been making us too hot and made the bed. My hubby had unloaded the dishwasher, so I cleared out the sink. I vaguely remember throwing a few small things away, although I don't remember exactly what they were now. I started a new goodwill box (I always keep one in the study to toss stuff into). I put a couple pieces of clothes into the donate bag in the closet. Two habits I've been great with is keeping up with my dishes and picking out my clothes the night before. Both great time savers. So I'm trying to incorporate more of my morning routine into the evening so I don't feel so rushed in the morning. I packed everything that didn't need to be refrigerated in my lunch, premade dog treats, and got all of my cold stuff packaged and together so I just had to grab it. That helped a lot this morning. I actually started the decluttering this weekend. I'm going to keep a running log of what I accomplish so I can remind myself of how much effort I've put in at the end. - Threw away all the broken humidifiers (why was this a thing in my house??) - Cleaned out my daughters drawers of too-small clothing, filling most of a donation box - Got rid of the old dingy Christmas Tree that I've been meaning to toss for YEARS, but somehow it just kept getting re-used - Got rid of or stored all the present containers (bags, boxes, bows, etc) The year is starting out right, I just need to keep it up.

What in the world has happened to my life? Ok, it's not that bad. And I know what happened. Life happened. I made some significant life changes, and my diet and exercise has suffered since October. I slowly let myself stop paying attention to what I put in my mouth. I got a new great job and it's harder to get to the gym. I let myself float through the holidays doing whatever the heck I felt like. I haven't focused on myself at all. I've let my life get hectic all over again and that crap stops now. GET MY LIFE BACK: Get my diet in order. I have gained 20 lbs since my lowest, but really 15 lbs since my last reliable stable weight. I worked my ass off to get down to those weights, and I won't let it go this easily. I am doing a diet program that was written by a doctor who specializes in Insulin Resistance. Saturday nights when I have a social night and Sunday morning brunch with my friend can be my only two divergences. And I must do as good as I can on those occasions. - Follow Dr. Spencer's diet - Track my food - every. damn. day. - Do not eat things at work that I did not bring!! Strength Train Regularly. I feel better when I work out. Lifting weights brings me functional strength that helps me through life. I enjoy the gym and need the stress reduction. I have started the Unapologetically Powerful lifting program and have done two workouts so far. I like it, it challenges me. - Life weights! Aiming for the U.P. program 2x a week. Plus one "other" workout Work on Decluttering My House. I come from a long line of hoarders. I have an 1100 sq ft house and inherited a lot of junk from my parents. I don't have the space or need for a lot of this crap. I need remember that my home is not a container for my stuff, but rather a place for joy and connection. - Get rid of something significant and measureable every week! MOTIVATION "Great things will happen when you get up, dust yourself off, and go after life with Determination and Courage" PROGRESS Pass or fail each week - categories are: Food, Exercise, Decluttering Beginning Weight: 184.8 Week 1: 181.8 Week 2: 181 Week 3: 179.2 Beginning 3x8 working weights: Bench - 55 lbs. Squat - 95 lbs. Deadlift - 115 lbs. Week 1: Diet: Pass Exercise: Pass Decluttering: Pass Week 2: Diet: Pass Exercise: Pass Decluttering: Pass Week 3: Diet: Pass Exercise: Fail (2/3) Decluttering: Pass

The final Ewok costume. Just have to make the staff collapsable this weekend. I'm pretty happy with it. The dress is much shorter than I'm normally comfortable with, but I'm going to totally rock it. Challenge Wrap-up Work on ANY area 3x a week for the entire challenge - Fail, mostly. I did some minor stuff, but nothing on the scale I wanted.Do 3 strength workouts a week - Pass. Strength training is still going well.Be super confident with my freestanding headstand - Pass. Although "super confident" is subjective. I am confident and I can do it. Still needs work.SIDE QUESTS Be able to use my sewing machine again and have a few small projects done by the end of the challenge - Fail. It almost works. Still needs work and I need to practice.Have my 2 main costumes ready for Camp - 75% on this one. Ewok is done. Base of R2D2 is done. Just have to finish the glow components.I am a bit burned out by all the challenges I do. I am taking the next round off of ALL challenges to focus on my underlying health and wellness. If I run one at all, it will just be to update on how that is going. My first appt is on Thursday. I have been on a year-long plateu, and the constant struggle of finding something ANYTHING that breaks it has thoroughly exhausted me. I also just came out as poly to my family. So that's going to be a big change. My mom and sister both want to meet my boys, and I'm sure the Chef will be the first up. His scheudle has changed some in my favork, so I'm super busy right now. Which is good. And rewarding. And amazing. But I'm kind of tired of never cutting myself any slack to just enjoy my life.

Some updates now, and I'll do some final ones tomorrow. My ewok is almost done. So close now. I went a total different direction, though. I got a really cute assymetrical dress and paired it with a harness, and it's adorable! I like it a lot better, and it's way cooler. I need to attach the tail better, and I need to chop the staff and add the hardward to make it collapsable. Then I'm done. I also have all the parts to make the glow hat for the R2D2, which I hope to get done this weekend. So things are coming right along. The kombucha is going well. I atually feel really good when I have a little bit in the morning on an empty stomach while I'm getting ready for work. My mom is doing great on it, she is feeling a whole lot better. I have two new batches going right now and my weekly supply bottled and ready to go. I had an amazing long weekend. Lots of quality time with the Chef and my Hubby. It all went really good. It's hard to get back into the groove of work today. Man did I have a good time with my chef. I got to have two overnights and we are really having a great time. We're still in the fun phase of dating, and I just love it. I need to make myself several doctor's appointments to take some responsbility for my health. I really need to see an endocronologist, which requires seeing my hormone doc to get a referral. I will call them when I go on a walk here in a few minutes. I've been ignoring my issues for too long, and I need to just make sure everything is ok. There has to be a reason why my testosterone is so crazy and wild and I"d like to find out what that is. I'm also not convinced my thyroid is healthy - but I need more indepth tests at this point. But I'm putting on my big girl panties and dealing with it. So things are good. I'll update more and add pics tomorrow.

Hello! I haven't been checking in because I don't feel like doing weekly updates - so I'm not going to! It's my challenge, right? So I'll just do an overview of how things are going. Sewing Machine: just received two new parts. Hopefully will get it running this weekend. Costumes: I am like 99% done with the ewok - and hate the tops! they are soooo hot with the leather headdress. But I ordered a cute asymmetrical brown dress, and will do a final fitting this weekend. All I'm missing is the adapter to make the staff collapsable, and… a belt? so I can wear my pouch. I just need to decide if I'm going to slice up the back of the dress to match the pants, leave it so I can wear it in the fall to work, or go pants less. I'll have those decisions after this weekend. Decluttering: I have made some good progress, actually. I hung a BUNCH of pictures I had been meaning to hang last weekend, AND reorganized my photo shelves. That makes me happy. I also replaced my toilet lids that were falling apart, deep cleaned the toilets, scrubbed the shower from top to bottom, and got caught up on an asston of laundry. I've been consistently adulating every day. I still make myself put all the dishes in the dishwasher when I first get home, and then pick out my clothes for the next day before I am allowed to change into pajamas. Headstands: I was having a terrible time with headstands this week. Today I moved a little closer to the wall and nailed 3 amazing ones. So I'm still having some mental issues with doing them without a support behind me for some reason. I'm still working on it - I didn't even NEED the wall today, I just feel better when it's there. This is definitely mental development for me at this point. Health: my tummy is MUCH better. My ulcer seems to be mostly under control, despite a bunch of stress at work. I started brewing kombucha tea to help with the probiotics and that is going very well. Romance: things are still going great in this department. The chef is bringing his kiddos over tonight while my hubby goes out with his girl. I'm still in the "i can't believe this is my life - it's so awesome" phase, but I'm certainly not complaining. I am spoiled and treasured, and it's a great feeling <3

Yesterday my mom came over and helped me work on my sewing machine. It still needs two parts, but it's coming along. I didn't feel like it, but I finished my pants for the ewok cosplay. One more thing down. I got the over skirt but it's a bit tight. I ordered some leather cord so I can cut it and loosen it some kind of corset style. My staff just needs a stone for the top and then be made to come apart so I can travel with it. I also ordered toggle buttons for the cowl. With those and the cord, I'll be able to finish the head piece. Really close to being done with that one. I'm super excited about it. I have a Groupon to get my rubix cube clothes and I really need to get my act together for glow night. But I'm making progress.

Week 3: Decluttering: 3/3 Workouts: 3/3* Headstands: Done. Sewing: Started. Cosplay: Started. Ok, so last week sucked. Bleeding ulcer, doctor's visits, not being able to eat for 6 days… it was rough. I was not able to lift, but I still went on 5 walks, so I'm still calling it a win, all things considered. I got an old storage container cleaned out, and started getting rid of more clothes. I've also been throwing things out when I find them and realize they are just trash. So that was good. So big happy updates: - Sewing machine WORKS! I still need to get all the pieces together, but I fixed knobs my daughter broke, picked play dough out of various crevices, and it worked! - I did 3 freestanding headstands in a row! in the living room! I will have video proof below. - I have like 90% of both my major cosplays complete! photo proof below. - I am feeling better and can eat some again. Still not 100%, but better. I will probably not lift again this week, but I'm giving myself a grace period due to ulcer. So, photo proof of cosplay progress… How CUTE is this R2D2 looking? The hat will be painted white and blue, and then we'll install some LED Lights on it for the glow party. I might do some glow bracers as well, but I'm undecided. And then the headstand videos. I like this one, even though the angle is a little off. But you get the point. and this one is a TERRIBLE angle (I was trying different spots) BUT - look at my shoulders! I could just stare at this all day. It's so neat to see progress from a different perspective. I also held this one a good long time. Even though you can't see my legs you can tell, and actually see my muscles working so. all good things. Just busy, tired, and healing right now. Found out the Nerd boyfriend might be leaving for 6 months, which is sad. I took him out for his birthday yesterday. But things are going so well with the Chef that I feel like it's unfair so at least i'll have that to focus on. Things have been super good with the Hubby, and he and I are both super happy right now. So overall I'm in a very good place

I totally lost last week. I was out of town until Tuesday night, and I developed a big bleeding ulcer for my birthday the sunday prior. So I spent all of last week being sick and tending to myself gently. Lets see if I can do a quick summary, and then I'll do updates for week 3. Week 2: Decluttering: 3/3 Workouts: 3/3 Headstands: Done. Sewing: Started. Cosplay: Started. Pretty much like Week 1. Things are coming along fine. I don't remember much else, I just know I was focused.