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Jean

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About Jean

  • Rank
    Protector and Hugger
    Newbie
  • Birthday 03/20/1985

Character Details

  1. Another use I see to them is that they allow for me to define myself: I am a person, myself, with my likes, dislikes, what I am willing to take (depending on how close I feel to a specific person), and the joy I derive from our relationship. I don't want to hang out with blurry sponges either, I want to meet real people with whom I can develop a way of interacting that suits us both. Those people need to have boundaries too and how we establish them, discover them, respect them and sometimes play with them is what makes a friendship a friendship. I want people and I want myself to feel empowered. None of that is possible if any of us wants to either trump others or act as a formeless tissue for others to use as they please.
  2. I think in all of these thoughts and discussions, the word "friends" needs to be defined. Setting boundaries makes for a healthy friendship allowing for all the friends included in it to express themselves and feel accepted while not trumping others and making themselves overshadowing. As usual, your mind is in the right place. Keep going on and enjoy good company on the way. This... is awesome. Take care.
  3. I feel both put pressure on the person toward whom the request/demand is directed and don't really feel much difference, but maybe that's just me. "You could have answered me" could be read in a neutral manner: "You could have answered me, but you didn't" implying that you choose to do something else with your time, which could have been more important than answering. The tone in which it is stated would do much to outline if it is meant as a reproach or an attempt at understanding why you didn't answer. "Next time, please, do answer me" feels highly biased to me. The use of "please" notwithstanding, the way it's formulated emphasises it as a demand more than a request: I would read it as the person asking having themselves made the decision that answering them was more important than whatever else you were doing at the time. I guess it's personal, I may just be very sensitive to the feeling of having people trying to impose their will/wants on me but I'd react kindly to neither of those.
  4. People will tell you to be factual, and they're right, but the people I know who say that use it as a way to justify their own biases and consider "factual" to be "whatever goes in the direction of where I want things to go". It remains true, though. It's very hard when starting in your first job but setting boundaries draws respect. Stating the path toward things being done, then the things that are needed to get there with an understanding that you will make it so has chances to work in a not-unsalvageable work environment. It is no easy task and I do feel you, though. Take heart.
  5. Just a quick reminder for my future self if he ever comes to read this again: when I concentrate on one thing and organize what the critical things that must be done for the other things going on are and at what time they must have been performed, and accept that everything that isn't critical is of no importance at all, that one thing almost becomes too easy. Which leads me to think there's some sort of self sabotaging going on under the surface in my life but for the time being, I'll just rejoice in my successes and ability to move forward and keep the tackling of this part for another day.
  6. That program sounds amazing and I'll take two orders of it. Sounds like you're letting go of a lot and it's all unpacking at once. Unleashing and breaking things is part of the process. I'd also focus on having a stable center of gravity and a source of positive energy where you can restore your inner strength and center yourself when needed, which seems to be what you're looking at when thinking of living accomodations. Keep on rocking, it hurts but you're doing great.
  7. This one is silly but it's full of energy so I don't care (also, I wish I was able to dance like that):
  8. Both of course, assembling a team for a Mud Day is still on the menu, though it's a distant happening for the time being. There's much more of the literal one on sight right now.
  9. Alright, signs point toward me being expected to take charge. I have been provided the means and I have energy. Now is a time to shine. There will be crawling through mud, a lot, but I should not be afraid of it, going through it decisively and without hesitation adds to me more than it takes.
  10. Small things matter. I hope you'll be sleeping better tonight.
  11. Calling your friends, and especially forcing herself on them by using a different number when shown that her attempts were unwelcomed by being blocked is messed up. There is no such thing as too strong. There is a thing called closing oneself to others that self-sufficient people are at greater risk of doing but this doesn't look like what you're doing. You have friends and you are open, you are just cutting your exposure to negative relationships, which is a good part of what having strength is about. There's also no such thing as living life automatically for strong people. Reading what you're writing here, I don't think there would be a good way out for you by being dumb. You are dealing with very canny manipulation. I don't say overanalysing everything is the way toward happiness in your life but in your current situation, your analysis, though painful, seems to be doing you good. Stay smart, stay strong and go on. Hail storms hurt no matter what, keeping on walking allows for a chance to find a shelter, or walking out of the storm at last.
  12. Thanks and welcome on the positive mindset ship. We have left port already and there is no turning back. On this boat, we are unstoppable. Hope you'll enjoy the trip.
  13. As a fellow phone blocker when I want to have peace of mind, I salute the move. Also: Also, also: keep on being you. Pain and frustrations are on the way, but you are awesome.
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