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Jean

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Everything posted by Jean

  1. The game is on. I shall now focus on making myself look attractive and getting my story straight. Fun times!
  2. Thanks go to you for checking on me. I'll gather more information on the opportunity and go for it if it sounds attractive enough. There's something I'm doing horribly wrong and I can't use my weekends to properly recover anymore. I haven't identified what that is yet. I'll try to score a good start of the week and work my way from there.
  3. I'm giving myself until Monday to choose. It would be mainly a lateral move, so I know what I'd leave behind but not really what would be ahead, which would not really be career furthering though I have some vision of what I could do with it. In the meantime, I'm doing all the wrong things that have made the current situation hard to bear once again, namely, letting myself get carried away by what "must" be done and letting it take over my real personal priorities at times when my own priorities should prevail. I really don't like it so I'm planing for some upping up of my game this year so that this kind of giving in doesn't apply going forward. The change of workplace could enter that picture. All in all, I'm a bit lost in my head and hope focusing on myself for the weekend will bring me some measure of clarity.
  4. Thanks for checking in. I've been applying my principles and taking a few more days off, which has done me good and helped start to further my own goals. It took 5 full days to get back into something of an efficient-able state, so that bit was interesting... I've worked today, the plan is to take a day to get up to date at work without outside perturbations at the end of all holidays, this can be done by getting back on Friday (1 day to prepare the next week, then the weekend) or Tuesday (no stressing Monday which is the day when everything must be done in my job). I've taken home 3 key teachings so far: It is SUCH a gamechanger to be in a fit for performing state that I want/need to keep it rolling. I won't achieve anything meaningful in my personal life without getting it. If I want this to work, sleep is key. I must never, ever, sacrifice it. It comes first. Related to the previous point, caffeine hinders more than it helps. A couple of coffees in the morning is fine, handling stress through coffees consumption isn't. I've got a good opportunity to pivot jobwise, I'm pondering chasing it. The alternative is growing in my current position, where I can become the go-to man in my company, which would carry its own set of benefits. That would be a bet that they manage to change their benefits structure going forward, I'm not sure I have that confidence (the main problems I have with my current job are long days, few holidays (for Swiss standards) and no gratitude toward employees/raises). A recent hire did 4 months by us (before finding a better position elsewhere) and already had multiple people complaining to her about that, which is a pretty strong signal by my standards. Evolve or die... my company is currently "dying". Edit: alright, there is a fourth teaching, it is to reject laziness and procrastination and to always do the thing until it's done and to do it immediately when that is possible at all. Reading about the Japanese way of the sword could do me good. Edit2: song for the mood:
  5. I'm already failing at this. I've taken 1.5 days off because I was dropping from fatigue and I'm already thinking about what I should do on Sunday in order to reach the targets I had for this week and handle correctly our global meeting on Monday morning. I'm basically considering trading my Sunday for a Friday while giving out a day of. This is very, very wrong and I must work on it. Practice makes perfect, this has been my problem since I've taken this job. Most everything I've done since then with my holidays has been to deal with this issue (including and especially the mountain leader training - which I don't regret one bit but also come with a price tag attached). I don't know if I can find balance. I've got my focus but it hurts, acknowledging that I live for work, can't reach my targets and am sacrificing year after year (already considering sacrificing this one, which is very, very bad) for my job. And the more I go, the less efficient I'm feeling, the more I feel that I have to compensate for it. At this point, I'm stuck. Building myself back up so that I can figure out the way forward should take precedence so I'll focus on not worrying, enjoying the weekend and sleeping. I have to climb out of this hole. Edit: As a reminder to myself, 2022 goals are: finish the mountain leader training, accumulate a few hours of practice to prepare for the license. move to a better flat/house that will actually suit my needs (points of contention are clothes washing amenities, enjoyable kitchen and shower room, storage space). Staying employed is not one of them. Getting a monthly income is so that is the real target (and would be fulfilled by unemployment insurance in the short term if things turn sour).
  6. Awwww, but that's, like, half of my watching list! This is not what I was planning for, what am I supposed to do with that time? Steal away! But only if it does spark joy. I like to let the steam off when I come here but a lot of the pain is self inflicted. The only lesson in it is that I need to grow, and I have, and I will. Yep, that's me! Going on even if that means I may end up spending some time in a jail. I mean, isn't that what life is all about? It's the whole book that justifies the chapters, even the sad ones. If I let go every time it's tough, what kind of story would I be writing? Awwww, that's nice, thanks! And that feels awesome! Double thanks! I've got a powerful sad music video that goes something like that... Now, this is no time to rest and sit on my butt: 2022 guideline #3 There has been a time for leniency and understanding, fighting off the beatings by taking them, the way of the tank. This was last year and it has served me well. There is now no more room for excuses. What needs be done needs to get done. If I need to rest and recover, I must take the necessary time off, shut my phone and emails off, and rest and recover. If I must send an application for a given date, everything necessary for that application to reach the point where I'm actually proud of it and for it to be sent in time must be done. The deadlines I take on must be met. The deadlines I can’t meet must either not be taken at all, or be unequivocally set later, to a date where they can be met. This year is a year for the way of the warrior. It starts with life hygiene: wake up early in the morning. eat, shower, brush my teeth, put on clean clothes, every day. pay myself with my time first: if I want to exercise, do it in the morning. If I want to go for a hike, take a headlamp and go for a hike. This takes precedence over everything else in the day. be efficient at work, prioritize, use indicators, be very graphic. Write things, draw things, cross things when they’re done. Keep it available and visible. take height and delegate. Organize things, open doors, make resources available, unlock access to people with the ability to solve the problems at hand but mostly use or hire others to do most of the field work. You’ve been a fighter and it has served you well. This is no more your station, get people the resources they need, check that the job gets done, plan, organize, check and keep people accountable, congratulate. People don’t need you to field the ranks, they need you to make sure they got all the ammo they need. Procure the ammo, get ready to organize an air strike, have the extraction convoy ready but let them do the field work. You can't shape a winning environment when you have your head in the mud. don’t slack outside of time dedicated to resting. Your house needs to be ordered and clean, your clothes need to be washed, you need to be taken care of. always clean and store your equipment after having used it. This is part of the task you've done with it and takes precedence on everything else. You are part of the routine: take care of yourself before storing you out for the night. Don't cut corners. Areas of focus right now are: sleeping: there’s no way around it. Go to bed early, take planned naps if needs be. eating: don’t be cheap. Buy and cook portions of decent size. Don’t go to bed before having prepared: the breakfast for the morning. a couple of sandwiches for the morning break. a packable meal for the lunch. living: keep clean clothes. Right now, that means washing, drying and storing 6 items every day. Don't dodge around it, get it done. keep a clean and ordered house. Right now, that means decluttering 4 square meters of surface every lunch break. clear your mind: wake up early and go for a walk/a hike in the morning, go for a hike during the weekend. Practice tai chi. That time is your time, use it for yourself. exercise: build up a strength, endurance and mobility training regimen. Run, exercise or hike in the early morning (this takes precedence over the last point on workdays). Target for this year is finishing mountain leader training. That means : ordering a suitable first aid kit. filling my profile on the association’s website. staying in shape. calling a few people to get the mandatory 4 days of internship. take people with me on hikes and practice the trade. Secondary targets : upgrade my living arrangements: rent or buy a place that fits my needs. get back outside, spend time with my friends, build a tribe, get back on the dating scene. We need a theme song for this year. I suggest this one: Let's rock like this world isn't prepared for it!
  7. Thanks! I'll smash it by applying this: 2022 resolution #2: refrain from immediately being a smartass. Walk away and let it cool down, if by the time you come back, you still want to react like a smartass, then be a smartass.
  8. I need to be reminded this time and time again. No matter how much I think I have it ingrained in my being, I keep being surprised and having to remind myself. It sure should! But it indeed won't. Glad your communig with the iron again, even if that means washing clothes gets pushed into hard mode. xD I like Grim Dawn's Constitution bar/overlay: as long as it's not empty, it's used to regenerate your HP very quickly while out of fight. When it's depleted, you loose this ability and won't regenerate HP anymore. Very fitting for the way I feel life. That being said, I'll be following from a distance. Rooting for you, you've got this.
  9. With a sigh of relief, the weary druid feels the presence of the Grove and his fellow druids strengthening as he draws closer to the grove. The sight of it fills him with joy and, for a moment, he forgets the blood running down his right flank, thickening in the furs protecting him from the cold he's come from. This year has taken its toll, but also brought with it some hope, if only he can survive the winter. For now, what he needs is rest. Though he'd usually enjoy their presence, he avoids the druids gathered around: linking himself with nature is what he needs right now. He sits at some distance from the Oak Circle, his back against a rock, hums the air, closes his eyes and lets go, a smile on his face. [I won't be joining in the challenges but am cheering for you. Thanks for restoring this place/thread!]
  10. I'm not where I'd want to be, two days of rest have told me that I need a whole slew more. I wanted to start this year strong with a challenge but I'll focus on recovery instead and put no pressure on myself for the coming week. Have a meaningful and fulfilling year 2022 and keep growing! I know I will, tiny step by tiny step. Edit: Alright, starting now, I am Marie Kondoing my internet habits: 5 minutes into a Youtube/reading binge, I will ask myself "does this spark joy?" or "does this really bring something to me?" and if it doesn't, I will close the tab on my browser. This should be a huge quality of life improvement.
  11. Alright, I've got this. Wednesday, December 22: Slept enough. Ate enough. Didn't do my work hours. Exercised. I'm getting even on the work hours front so I'll be able to take some pressure off there in the future. The trick will be smooth transitioning, I'll have to focus on that for a few weeks.
  12. Tuesday, December 21: Slept enough. Didn't eat enough. Didn't do my work hours. Ran.
  13. Alright, letting go is good. Sleeping is good. Monday, December 20: Slept enough. Ate enough. Did my work hours. Exercised. I'm winning this. Now to recover while fighting and renew my energy and ability to plan.
  14. Well, now you've done it! The internet is broken, I need 3 emoticons to react to your message and I can only use one. Here's my by-pass to the issue (crude but quickly done, I hope you'll forgive the imperfections): That quote is as awesome as the person who spoke it. Thanks for that.
  15. Oh no, no, no! I guess I put it wrong, this, here, is Hobbiton, people are oblivious and joyful, living the life, not caring about what could happen. And it works! Which makes me question my own way of living because, well, maybe I'm just worrying too much. Then again, maybe The Shire needs an Arnor to protect them, lest they get run through by Black Knights and whatnot. I mean, it is the purpose of a fighter to protect innocence so that those who don't know war can live happy lives and thrive... I don't know if I sound confusing, this all makes sense in my head but it's a complex picture. The bottom line is that one can run across a ravine as long as one doesn't look below to see they're walking on raw air, and people here are masters at not looking, while I'm not. xD So, the way forward involves working on myself in order to be more in tune with the land and stop banging my head on the wall out of disbelief. Sunday, December 19: Slept enough Ate enough. Ran. Today has been a rest day. It's been a very long time since I've let my body just relax without worries and it's done me a lot of good. Looking forward to doing more of this in the future.
  16. It wasn't really a bad day, it's just that I must learn to protect my time and stop giving it away for causes I don't support just because they're poor at what they do and I could make their experience better. I've heard the strangest use of Mike Tyson's quote "everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth", meaning apparently for the people around here that since you're doomed not to be able to fully follow your plan, you are therefor absolved from planning at all, anticipating what will be needed and procuring it ahead of time... I guess Mike Tyson didn't prepare for his fights before climbing on the ring, I mean, he was going to get punched in the mouth anyway so, why bother? Saturday, December 18: Slept enough Didn't eat enough. Exercised. I didn't go shopping and, as a result, my fridge is empty. I've dealt with it before but it still bothers me. Saturday is the very most valuable of all my days, I should stop throwing it away and sacrificing it easily.
  17. As stated by Scaly Freak, It doesn't sound horrible at all. Family is meant to be supportive, if we let feelings get hurt and them being hurt get in the way of what truly matters for us (which includes keeping personal space), we're preying on each other, not building a meaningful tribe. Putting boundaries and having them stand is a very, very difficult part of family relationships, yet a very, very important one. You've got this.
  18. Tough day ahead, I'm always making the same mistakes (which are not letting people fend for themselves when they set themselves for screwing up) and still hoping banging my head on the wall will get the wall to break. xD Live and learn, boy, live and learn... Off to do some shopping, some spreadhseeting, some documents finding and some mapping. Fun day ahead!
  19. Alright, call it hybris but at this point, I'm disappointed there's not more people like me to go around. Everybody should have my skillset, we would so rock the world! Anyway, back to Earth. There's a lot to do, I can see a path forward and I really have to prioritize to get things done. Onwards and Upwards! Friday, December 17: Didn't sleep enough. Didn't eat enough. Did my work hours. Didn't run.
  20. Thanks @juliebarkley for reminding of this post: Wow, two years, time passes! I can still see where I was but when you're facing a storm of waves, it's hard to remember that the tide is the stronger force behind moving sea waters. I guess it's part of life, seeds pierce the soil to meet the sun and, from there, it's on them to grow and face the world. I can definitely still see freedom but I'll be sharpening my sword and mustering my friends to keep it in reach. xD Thursday, December 16: Didn't sleep enough. Ate enough. Did my work hours. Exercised. Today is Friday, I have slept enough.
  21. Wednesday, December 15: Didn't sleep enough. Ate enough. Did my work hours. Ran.
  22. Thanks for polling us out. I like the format and it's always great to give feedback and know you are caring about our wants. Good luck reading every single one answer and trying to make the best of them all. ^^ Also, I'd add a line in the first message of this topic as well as in the survey description to tell roughly how long it takes to make it, so that we get to it in the right mindset without risking being rushed for time. It took me roughly 10 minutes.
  23. My lawyers didn't have the time to jump on me for that one. This is the one they've actually requested I send: You're going to do awesome at your interview. G'night!
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