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About Dragonwolf

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  • Birthday October 18


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  1. Dragonwolf

    Dragonwolf visits the Druids

    Got a massage yesterday. <3 It's amazing how much better life in general is when you can move and your back isn't a giant knot... I have been mandated by both my therapist and my holistic doctor to do more stuff for me (go figure), albeit the manifestations for both are slightly different. My therapist is actually helping me conspire to take a week or two off and travel for a (very much needed) vacation away from everything. That's going to be interesting. I mentioned to my holistic doctor that I've dreaded getting out of bed in the mornings, because of all of the stuff that's going on and the sense of "what's it going to be like today?" wearing me down. Her solution is a morning routine to get me going and energized to get the day started. We'll see how that works out in the long run (since I'm not totally sure she understands the full extent of the problem, given I don't have enough time with her to give her the full context). Right now, that routine is shaping up to be something like: Spend 20 minutes or so doing exercises on Duolingo to get the brain going, while I do my don't-even-think-about-getting-out-of-bed-before-this stretching of my hips/lower back. Get showered/dressed. Do a little yoga/tai chi routine to get the body going. Don't look at email or social media of any sort during this time. As for more "do stuff for me" things that my therapist wants me to do...I have no idea on that one. It's supposed to be fun, relaxing stuff, but I've done leisure stuff on my own (without my family) for so long that that's not really what I want to do, but I also need a break from my husband (from whom I can literally feel the anxiety when he gets anxious, and right now, he gets anxious about damn near everything; there have been times where I can't even be in the house because of it). I did request extra therapy appointments for a while, though. I wanted to do doubles (so get (and pay for) two hours instead of one, because I feel like I just start getting going and time's up), but she doesn't like doing that. Hopefully two a week for a little while to get through all of the "backstory" stuff without having too much time for "current events" stuff to pile up will help, especially on the bad weeks.
  2. Dragonwolf

    Uncaging the Ulfhedinn

    I am so glad I'm not the only one! My husband looks at me like I've grown a second head.
  3. Dragonwolf

    Uncaging the Ulfhedinn

    Pickled garlic is awesome. That is all.
  4. Dragonwolf

    Dragonwolf visits the Druids

    I made it. I did hit a slick patch on one small hill and almost had a repeat of Sunday evening, but I managed to find enough grip to get up. Once I got to the bigger roads, it was all clear. Thankfully, I went to high school in a mountainous area, so I know how to handle things. Unfortunately, my car needs new tires and it doesn't snow enough around here to warrant chains or studs, which would have solved the problem to begin with.
  5. Dragonwolf

    Dragonwolf visits the Druids

    Adventure In The Hills I haven't checked out the Tai Chi stuff yet, but I did go to the nearby National Forest to visit some friends and participate in a group ritual they were holding. I went down Saturday night, since the ritual was in the morning and I needed some time to unwind and get into the right headspace. I spent Sunday with them, which was great. As we were finishing up the ritual, the snow started to fall. No big deal, right? It was a nice little snowfall in the hills on a winter day. Pretty idyllic, really, given that we were literally gathered near a fire in a cabin on a hill. So, evening comes, and the sun is getting low in the sky. Some of the people trickle out as their travel and schedule needs dictate, while some of the others (myself included) hang around for a bit longer. When it's about as late as we dare, myself and another get ready to head out, with her a few minutes ahead of me. I head out, realizing immediately that this could easily be a bad idea as my tires have a hard time gripping (really should get new tires...), but I take it slow and make it around the first few curves and over the first few little hills...until I don't. Thankfully, the road is one not frequently traveled as my car loses grip part way up one hill a bit steeper, longer, and in just a little more shade than the previous ones, and in my caution to avoid sliding in a curve, I fail to get going fast enough to make it up and over, and stall out (not literally stalling the car, but stalling in momentum) about halfway up. So, I slowly let off the gas to start working my way back down to potentially try again, only to find the car starting to curve in as it slid. Now, while turning around wouldn't have been a bad thing, it was a narrow road and I'd have preferred to do that myself. At the driveway a little farther down... Thankfully, it stopped at about perpendicular to the road, and I was able to straighten it out and slowly back down the hill, keeping it straight in part to driving on the invisible shoulder... Which I then had to extricate myself from (you have to understand: around here, the should is a few inches below the road, making it a sort of track in this situation). Thankfully, only my front tire was on the shoulder, and I was able to coax the front one onto the road again with some very careful reverse steering. I backed down a little more, to a point that wasn't so steep and...nope. No movement. Okay, back down a bit more, nearly to the bottom, get going a little more, but start losing grip almost immediately, at which point visions of sliding on one of the curves and ending up in a ditch or off the edge of one of the ravines start flashing in my mind, along with the dread of having to traverse the mountainous back roads in this condition, knowing the route that lay between me and the big state route in the valley Nope. Fuck it. I'm going back and staying put for the night. I carefully pull into the nearby driveway and manage to coax my car back out of it, facing the other direction, and gingerly make my way back to the cabin, adrenaline still coursing through my veins from my brush with disaster. "Well, so much for that plan," I say as I walk in the door, and recount the short version of what happened. At that point, the last remaining not-quite-local person decided to stay put, too, given the condition of her own vehicle, while the local one braved the roads to go home, reporting in at intervals (which confirmed that traversing the roads were not pleasant). I happened across a notification for the Snow Emergency level of a nearby county, while perusing updates from other friends, so I checked to see what the status was for here. As it turned out, this county was under a Level 2 Snow Emergency. For those who aren't familiar with the system, it's a gauge for how bad the conditions are. It contains three levels: Level 1 - roads are hazardous, but not necessarily horrible. If you go out, be cautious, give yourself extra time, try to plan trips such that you minimize time on the road. Most schools start calling delays and closures if this happens too late at night or into the early morning. Level 2 - Roads are very hazardous and covered, don't go out unless you have to. Expect to take far longer getting to your destination. Universities, private schools, and other harder-to-close institutions start calling delays and closures. Level 3 - Roads are not safe to drive, go out only if it's an emergency, or you're likely to get pulled over. Businesses start closing (and will send people home if they get word the county is planning to escalate to this level). Suffice it to say, we stayed put for the night. Now, it's morning, and I'm about to try again, as the sun is up, the temperature is above freezing, and the plows have gone through at least the bigger roads, even if not this little one.
  6. Dragonwolf

    Dragonwolf visits the Druids

    The Ranger drops the hood of her cloak as she approaches the hilltop cabin. Already, the serenity of the area washes over her, easing the anxiety that has built up over the past...weeks? Months? No. Years is more like it, though only recently have the flood gates opened on it all. She quietly enters the cabin and, after taking off her traveling gear, finds a comfy spot near the fireplace. The cabin's host brings her a mug of hot tea, which she graciously accepts. Closing her eyes, she takes a deep, restorative breath. "Finally..." The full context is a long, long story, but ultimately, it boils down to the fact that I've spent far too long giving up far too much of myself for others, with little to nothing in return. It finally came to a head last month and I've basically been in emotional pain and turmoil ever since. It's affected pretty much all aspects of my quality of life and has been a large hinderance in getting back to any kind of workout routine. So, I've decided to come visit for this challenge (and probably at least the next one, or however many I feel I need). I really only have one goal for this time: engage in some form of meditation every day and build that habit. Said meditation can be "moving meditation" (I have both a couple of Tai Chi DVDs and several yoga resources) or more "conventional" meditation, but the goal is to take 5-30 minutes or so each day to just...stop (particularly mentally) and work on me and my wellbeing and -- even if only for that block of time -- not have to fight, and be able to let go of all that is troubling me right now, and to just be.
  7. Dragonwolf

    Uncaging the Ulfhedinn

    The Road To Recovery I've fought with my health for over a decade(!!!), and finally found a doctor that was able/willing to run the right tests to find the hormones that were out of whack and preventing me from achieving the shape and health I wanted. Armed with results from enough tests to fill a small book, and enough supplements to make a meal out them alone, I feel like I'm finally getting on the right track. The degenerative disc disease in my lower spine won't be going away anytime soon, but with care, I can manage it. Long Term Goals (The Epics) My weight goal is about 175lb, or about 120lb below my starting weight. Per my current calculations, that should get me about where I want to be, body fat wise, without sacrificing too much lean mass. My (more important) strength/fitness goals are to be able to do pull-ups and more work with gymnastic rings (thanks, Steve, for the inspiration on that one!), and have the endurance to pull a deer out of the forest. Side Quests I've really gotten into herbalism and permaculture recently, so I've got numerous "side quests" for diving deeper into both, including turning my front yard into a "food and medicine forest." They'll be a test of not just strength and endurance, but also of the mind and spirit. I don't know if I'll update this every day, but I'll at least try to make notes of experiments and milestones.