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About gabrielle_of_poteidia

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  • Birthday 09/24/1984


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  1. Thank you. I'm feeling way better now, had my day or two of feeling sorry for myself and now got much better perspective. The whole thing was a significant step out of my comfort zone but I can acknowledge that even talking to him was an achievement as I'm usually a total wallflower, so go me I guess! I'm not sure. I've spoken to a couple of friends and one theory is that he was just having a bad day, and another was that I'm letting my general shyness warp my perception (ie that he was just finishing up in a bit of a hurry and meant it in more of an offhand, "I'm just off out the door, but ha! I know what you mean!" kind of way.) It's really hard to tell as I was pretty hyped up on adrenaline so wasn't thinking clearly. Then my jerkbrain kicked in, hence why I ended up high tailing it out of there thinking I'd embarrassed myself in spectacular style. So who knows? If I'm brave, I might go back and see what the deal is. He might well chat to me like nothing has happened? There's really no way to tell because my nerves were playing havoc over the whole thing, and right now my instinct is to AVOID like the big scaredy wimp I am!
  2. Hi guys, Thank you all so much for your support. I felt I owed you all an update. 2 weeks ago I had an amazing day - we spoke at length on 2 occasions in the same visit, once when I just arrived (I found out his name, and we talked about our respective pets and some of our interests - he said he'd seen me photographing the surrounding wildlife near the gym, omg he noticed me!) and again when I was waiting to use a machine he was on. He actually stopped what he was doing to take me aside and show me some flexibility exercises for my bad shoulder, and then apologised for 'boring' me (seems to be a theme of his). So I figured I was onto a good thing. I decided to use this to boost my confidence and was determined next time we spoke I would ask him out or ask for his number. Well, I didn't really speak to him over the next 2 weeks (waved to him once across the gym, but no opportunity to chat, and a quick hi in passing outside over the weekend) but yesterday he was there again so I tried to go chat. Again, same as last time, I was gonna jump on a machine after him and I cracked a joke about how I keep coming and kicking him off the machines. I immediately felt a bit dumb for that and apologised because I felt it might have come across as rude (I know I can be overly familiar with people once I feel I have a rapport going) and, well, he just replied "yeah, pretty much" and walked away. It felt like a bit of a gut punch and I think I garbled something out about how I was trying to be funny, but he ignored me and left, giving off distinct "don't bother me" or "I'm mad at you" vibes. I could be reading it wrong I guess? I wish I had better news to report. I'm really feeling at something of a loss as to how to handle this. I feel like I want to apologise one last time, as I was clearly being over familiar and totally misplaced my sense of humour there, but I think I might just make things worse by attempting to explain my innate weirdness ("I'm anxious around new people and I make dumb self-depreciative jokes" - it's not exactly an attractive quality). I'm pretty devastated still. I did a huge amount of psychological prepping to get to this stage and now I feel like I fell at the second-to-last hurdle and will never know if I was in with a shot. I'm mourning the loss of a possibility of something, which is a strange place to be in, but after all the work I did to get here it is sort of a big deal, I suppose. Just trying to be kind to myself and keep the anxious thoughts at bay. So that's that. Thank you guys again for all your support. Just sorry I couldn't come back with a happy ending here. And now our area looks to be going into a second lockdown so I doubt I'll get a chance to make amends after this humiliating debacle. But that's life I guess? 😕
  3. So I have no idea if this is a suitable topic for here, but this is kind of the only online presence I have and I was hoping for some input from fellow gym people. There's a guy at the gym who I've had a crush on for like a year and a half. I have been very happy single and haven't been attracted to anyone in about 7 years, so I'm very rusty in this regard. At first I tried to ignore it (because hey, I figured I knew nothing about him, and just thought I was being shallow and stupid) but then he spoke to me, and it turns out he's actually... REALLY nice and sweet. I'm now really thrown. I get butterflies when he talks to me. Our routines seem to coincide so I usually see him either at the gym or pass in the car park once or twice a week. I get nervous going in at those times now because I expect to see him! I'm trying to decide if it would be even vaguely appropriate to offer him my number and ask if he wants to hang out. He has made a few comments that I guess could be construed as flirtatious, or expressing interest. He: asked me if I'd been working out through lockdown, because he said when he first saw me he thought I looked good we talked about training for pullups and he offered to give me a boost he asks questions like whether I'm doing anything later, or if I'm around in the week On the other hand, he is also kinda friendly with everyone. I dropped some hints (or so I thought) by responding to his questions about my schedule and essentially telling him "I'll be here for the early slot tomorrow" and thought he'd said he'd be in at the same time as me.... but then he wasn't. (I realise rationally that there could be any number of things and it probably has nothing to do with me.) My trouble is I really have no frame of reference for this kind of interaction. I'm 35 but I feel about 15, trying to work out if I'm in with a chance. The trouble is for every piece of evidence for the "he likes you" case, I can also find one that screams "you are a massive creep and have probably freaked him out by turning up at the same time every weekend and he can see right through you and now he's avoiding you" (he wasn't here this morning). Yes, I realise I am massively overthinking this. We haven't interacted a huge amount, just snippets of conversation here and there over a few weeks now, and before lockdown. Would I be overstepping horribly if I asked him out or offered my number? I am a grown woman who has literally never done this before. How do people flirt???