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Everything posted by gabrielle_of_poteidia

  1. Oh yes I watched the documentary "Free Solo" about his project to climb the dawn wall of El Capitan without ropes. What an astonishing guy! (This thread went on a weird tangent, and this is so completely cool.) Also, having seen some hardcore knitters in my time, I'm sure "knitting to failure" looks like running out of yarn. Quickly hopping on here to add that I'm not super great at lifting to failure as I have a perfectionist streak a mile wide and don't like failing! 😆 Like, if the plan says to do 10 reps then I'm gonna DO 'EM damnit! So I probably lift a little under what I coul
  2. I am very over critical of myself. My perceptions are extremely varied and warped and can swing from one extreme to another in the space of a day. The trouble is I can sort of pose in front a mirror and feel good about myself but I hate candid pictures, so as soon as someone snaps one of those my brain just goes "that's what you actually look like when you're going about in the world!" and I hate it. Yes I do follow a few fitness Instagram people of varying shapes and sizes - stephanie_buttermore; thedailykelsey; aiden_m365; feefiefofeather; - and I can see the beauty in everyone. I guess it's
  3. Hi folks, I had a bit of a panic yesterday and was wondering if anyone had any advice. I've been working out pretty consistently (save for a few periods of "meh") in one form or another for around 8 years. I started with running, and then added weight training into the mix after I plateaued with the running. When I first started out, I lost around 25lbs pretty effortlessly. Since then I have gotten "stuck" at the 150lb-155lb mark. My weight seems to have been pretty steady for the past few years, and yet I seem to have 'bulked up' quite a bit, especially on the upper body, so I thi
  4. Hi all - thanks once again for the replies! Going to try and hit a few different things in once post so bear with.... Good points all round. I can go to my GP and see if I can get a referral, although I gather it is quite tricky as they are inundated right now so I might be on a waiting list. I can probably cite "past issues with disordered eating, possibly escalating" and see if that helps. Thank you for sharing your experiences. My own don't overlap entirely but there were certainly similarities. I'm just starting to uncover the damage done during my childhood via
  5. Thank you all for taking time to reply! I had a busy day yesterday and I saw the replies coming in - I wanted to sit down in the morning to respond and then when I woke up there were even more, so thank you! 🥰 Ooh, can I ask which book that is? I found a few but would be interested in reading that one chapter to see if I can utilise any tips. I have gone through phases of logging food, but it is tricky as counting calories makes me want to restrict so my tracking apps and I have a delicate relationship! Generally I seem to be clocking in between 1400 and 1800 kcal when I
  6. I was wondering if anyone could offer some perspective on some things. CW: disordered eating I have real difficulty around food, possibly to the point of disordered or pathological. After years of struggling, I have come to realise I have complete mental blocks around meals, in terms of appetite and planning. There is a possibility I have autism, as I have sensory issues with food (I find some tastes and textures really quite repulsive, and I'm very inflexible with meals) and a lack of awareness of hunger, but while I've been advised to pursue a diagnosis, it's hard to
  7. You mentioned these in your original post, but I'm a big fan of one legged deadlifts. I do these with a single dumbell on the side of the rising leg to add a little extra weight. I too am working out at home with nothing but some lightweight dumbells and a few other bits, so I've found that for large muscle groups like legs, it's helpful to do one leg at a time to really work the muscles. It's been good for balance, too. Here's Staci of NF demonstrating the bodyweight version:
  8. I'm late to the party, but meet , Dylan (tabby and white), Felix (black and white next to Dylan), Fred (black and white solo, Felix's sister), Florence (black), and Xena (tortie).
  9. I used to hate deadlifts! When I first started, my hands were too weak to hold onto the bar for the duration of my sets. I'd lift so little I could hardly feel it in my legs, but I'd be straining to hold onto the bar and just hoping my hands didn't give out. I don't mind them so much now I've trained my grip, but it's still not a motion that comes naturally to me. I spent a week doing deadlifts with practically straight legs and nearly did my back in before I googled the correct form - I felt like such a wally! If you want to master them but worry about form, it might be helpful to
  10. Gosh, this seems so long ago now, but I felt I owed you lovely supportive people an update: I did go back to the gym... after a fashion. My country actually went into lockdown (again) shortly after this happened, so I had a LOT of time to dwell on my insecurities and brain demons. It actually became the focus of my therapy and I was able to explore where my anxieties were coming from, and gradually the shame began to dissipate. When lockdown ended, I went back feeling moderately ok about the whole situation and went back. As it happens, on my first day back, Cute Gym Guy came strol
  11. I use My Fitness Pal and Fitbit. If you're logging food, too, MFP has more options around macros, or it did when I started using it. I use Fitbit to log exercise and steps, and MFP to log food and weight and then get the two apps to synch with one another. I used to log weight AND body fat %, but I found the machine at my gym was notoriously unreliable and didn't seem to coincide with my habits or changes in my body, so I stopped using it. Now I just step on the scales every now and then. I did buy some cheap callipers from MyProtein a few months back, but not sure if I want to get into that l
  12. My current fave is an 80s playlist of workout songs: I find 80s music uplifting and energising - 'Gloria' is my morning alarm because it makes me jump out of bed and want to move! I don't always listen to music while working out - I don't mind a quiet run with just the sounds of nature - but particularly when I'm just working through a HIIT routine in my bedroom (thank you, lockdown) a bit of music helps make it feel less depressing. Although I sometimes forget what I'm doing and wind up just dancing about the room to one of my favourite tracks (looking at YOU, I
  13. Thank you. I'm feeling way better now, had my day or two of feeling sorry for myself and now got much better perspective. The whole thing was a significant step out of my comfort zone but I can acknowledge that even talking to him was an achievement as I'm usually a total wallflower, so go me I guess! I'm not sure. I've spoken to a couple of friends and one theory is that he was just having a bad day, and another was that I'm letting my general shyness warp my perception (ie that he was just finishing up in a bit of a hurry and meant it in more of an offhand, "I'm just
  14. Hi guys, Thank you all so much for your support. I felt I owed you all an update. 2 weeks ago I had an amazing day - we spoke at length on 2 occasions in the same visit, once when I just arrived (I found out his name, and we talked about our respective pets and some of our interests - he said he'd seen me photographing the surrounding wildlife near the gym, omg he noticed me!) and again when I was waiting to use a machine he was on. He actually stopped what he was doing to take me aside and show me some flexibility exercises for my bad shoulder, and then apologised for
  15. Sure thing! The nearest thing I do to a convention these days is the Xena-themed retreat in California. This has been disrupted by covid already, and 2 of the recent fires have also come very close to the camp where the retreat is held, so who knows what the future holds? Hopefully there will be a chance to go back. Somewhere there is video footage of me dressed as Gabrielle and doing a board break, complete with battle cry! If I ever get around to any further projects, I'll be sure to post photos!
  16. That's very cool!!! My convention days are long behind me but I occasionally still cosplay and do a photo shoot for the lols. I had contemplated attempting a selection of "femme-Cap" costumes - ww2 Cap with the brown leather jacket, a feminised variant of his USO costume (sort of a blend of Cap's "tights" look and the dancing girls') and maybe his gym gear in Avengers and recreate the boxing scene, if I could find an appropriate location. And, yknow, get buff enough! You probably can't see too well, but my shirt in my profile picture reads "Steve Rogers Running Team" and has half t
  17. Thanks guys! I'm really enjoying it - it's a totally different experience. I got up to pressing twice my body weight on the leg press machine for 1 rep (I did a pyramid workout last year to see what I could do) but it's a whole different exercise when you're not sat in a chair isolating the leg muscles. I've found it's really hit my core in a way that resistance machines + ab workouts never did - my planks have gotten easier, and my waist seems more defined (I am in calorie deficit atm, but I've never really felt 'lean' before). I'm finding all those little variations that can make a differenc
  18. It all proved rather academic because I didn't see him all weekend! 🙁 So I have another week of practicing in front of the mirror and tackling my insecurities. But thank you! I'll let you know if anything vaguely positive comes out of all this. I am sure he will be very kind either way, and it will probably be a good exercise in confidence for me! PS: I love your shirt @N0rdicNinja - I'm a Marvel nerd and that made me smile!
  19. This is reassuring. I'll try and channel my courage next time I see him, if anything just to stop the exhausting cycle of anticipation, nerves, and self doubt! I do love that Tim Minchin song, as much as it doesn't really apply to me. It would seem my attraction to people is vanishingly rare, so rather than focus on the idea of someone else, I prefer to reassure myself that I have wonderful close friendships and have managed to build a life where I feel truly happy in my circumstances. Any additional romance is sheer bonus, not something I have to stake my happiness on. But, hey,
  20. Haha! I'll try not to! (I literally had someone do this to me once. The marriage thing, not the curtains!)
  21. I think my fear is more that I'm being inappropriate or presumptuous. Not insignificant fear over rejection aside, I'd hate to make him feel uncomfortable or preyed upon. I think in the midst of all my second guessing, I worry that I've missed some overt "back off, lady!" signals or something! You're right in that I think I need to do something rather than just make small talk and feel anxious, but boy is this terrifying! 😅
  22. So I have no idea if this is a suitable topic for here, but this is kind of the only online presence I have and I was hoping for some input from fellow gym people. There's a guy at the gym who I've had a crush on for like a year and a half. I have been very happy single and haven't been attracted to anyone in about 7 years, so I'm very rusty in this regard. At first I tried to ignore it (because hey, I figured I knew nothing about him, and just thought I was being shallow and stupid) but then he spoke to me, and it turns out he's actually... REALLY nice and sweet. I'm now really th
  23. I've had an exciting month! So during lockdown, I kinda had to switch from leg press machines to squats. I had some dumbells that I'd been using at home for this, and now our covid situation has largely improved (current local blip notwithstanding) and our gyms have reopened. I switched to using the bags, but having found the 15kg now to be too light, I had to go up. Only I couldn't shift the 20kg one onto my shoulders. I had no choice - I had to learn how to use the barbell. So, under instruction, I set foot in a squat cage for the first time and did my squats with a 2
  24. Thank you, this is super reassuring. I might try this for a while and see how it sits with me. It's actually reassuring to know that perhaps some of my goals are a little on the steep side. Helps me to not take it too personally if things don't go the way I imagine. Clothes are definitely fitting differently now: shirts tighter across the shoulders, but then my waist has gotten smaller so I'm wearing a size down in skirts and loose trousers. (The upshot is I wear 3 different sizes depending on clothing item, cut, and material.) This has all felt pretty positive. But I do always com
  25. Absolutely. I used to have far worse body image issues, and over time I have learned not to obsess or agonise over features I don't like. I've also realised that even if I 'fix' one problem, I will easily find another to take its place. (I lost weight, I decided I lacked muscle. I've gotten more muscular, I worry I look too bulky because I still have a layer of fat over it.) Body comfort only comes when I step back and stop finding fault. For a change in perspective, I've started trying to see any further aesthetic change as 'the cherry on top of the sundae'. I exercise because the endorphins
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