StillStar

Well done for sticking with the C25k! And hooray for cake

Crikey, that sounds insane! Glad you’re safe!!

I’m struggling this challenge, and I’m trying to figure out why. I’m getting pretty consistent at tracking my calories. I’m getting really hungry and I’m getting really bad sugar cravings. I’m hitting my TDEE most days and it feels like I’m trying really hard to eat well. Cutting more calories to lose weight at the moment seems too tough. I mean, I’m weighing out 20grams of brown rice FFS. I cant live a life eating just chicken broccoli and brown rice. So I’m just doing the best i can just now. At least I’m not gaining {she says optimistically}. Partly I reckon the cravings are psychological. I don’t want to let myself eat any refined sugar, because I cant control myself once I start. Hence my head thinks about cake and chocolate and biscuits ALL THE TIME. Even if I just eat one biscuit (hahahahaaa I do crack myself up) it takes me over my TDEE, because having three small meals of 400 calories plus a couple of coffees already takes me to my TDEE. Sad face. I think I have to accept that during this challenge what I need to focus on is normalising the 1700, and then maybe in the next challenge I can lower it a bit and start normalising that.... I’m managing the BW workout twice a week. My target was three times. I don’t know what is stopping me. My head, mostly. I’ve added in another lower body exercise I saw recommended on MFP, as well as 1kg hand weights for the squats and lunges. I’m holding the plank for thirty seconds and Ive moved to a negative press up (or whatever its called) because the counter didnt seem to progress me anymore and the kitchen table moved too much. I’m almost hitting 10k steps daily and although that wasn’t a target I’m pretty pleased with it. I’m doing a little reading here and there to try and get my head on straight. Some of the chapters are practice heavy, so it takes me longer to work through them. I’m ok with that. Ive wrapped my final issue and am waiting on delivery of it on Monday. HO have asked me to stay and manage the next issue, for appropriate remuneration, which I’m actually relieved about. It saves me having to think of the next step until later in the summer when my mum’s situation is a little clearer.

That is one adorable puppy!

ok so yesterday was a COMPLETE write off. DJ was inconsolable when I told her the cake was leaving the house, so I cut it in half … and ate half. And the other two cupcakes... gah. No wonder I was exhausted. Did the BW workout and went swimming, which left me even more exhausted. Mother phoned, so I spent the next two hours on family duties instead of work.... I'll call it "cake day" and move on... New day, new dollar, right? Well, maybe not so much dollar... And it looks like my sister-in-law has been working on my brother and he might now let mother come and live near me, which means any ideas of normal work would be suspended for the foreseeable future.

I totally understand this. Scones are awesome. Personally, I need to take it super serious when I'm in the house (I work from home) otherwise I give myself too much slack. My brain seems to work on an all-or-nothing basis when it's just me (at all other times it's a "whatever company I'm with wants" basis). Hence yesterday's cake day. I literally just ate cake. Insane. This is the kind of willpower I need to train myself in... I know you don't want to make this a puppy blog, but go puppy! So glad he's full of beans. C25K is pretty awesome, so go you, too

It sounds very trying/tiring. I guess all you can do is try and switch to smug mode. I mean, you know what you're doing and why you're doing it. Bless the cute, concerned people carrying on in their ignorance. No point in trying to explain what is right for YOU to THEM. Just let them fuss. And repeat "water off a duck's back, water off a duck's back". Good luck!

Keep in mind that a lot of newlyweds fall into a ready-meal/eating out trap. Can be due to the relief after the stress of planning a wedding, trying to prolong that honeymoon/holiday feeling and [see below] I'm just going to be my usual, blunt and obnoxious self here: knock that on the head! You're marrying the guy, aren't you? I can't stress enough how important it is to communicate. About EVERYTHING. Don't change what you do to accommodate him without discussing it first. Please. It starts off with moving your lunchtime by half an hour here and there, but chances are it can escalate and in ten years time you're staring at each other over the heads of your children thinking "you never appreciate all the things I've done for you". You're a team now. Communicate. (said with love, obvs )

Thank you! It's very generous, and at the moment I feel success is a temporary state. The line bopped down and now it is way back up again I have to keep reminding myself that this is not a sprint. I will check out microwave recipes - good tip. Although the pedant in me balks a little at caking it "baking" haha! You know what? It wasn't decorating at all. It was how to make a fluffy sponge. But hey, I now have half a dozen fluffy cupcakes (I gave the other half to the babysitter last night!) and a massive fluffy sponge cake sitting in the kitchen winking at me! No, I tell a lie, there's only three left I'm impressed with your hubby's willpower, too! Well done. It's a good reminder that (as NF keeps telling us) building habits takes time. I'm just so damn impatient. It's hard work! I'm sick of dragging this extra blubber around with me. I'm sooooo conscious of it now. I spent years building up the walls of indifference, making excuses and ignoring the unhealthy choices I was making every single moment. Now that I'm aware and conscious of them, they grate, and rub and hurt. My hands are still too quick shoving that fluffy sweetness in my mouth, 'though. I got home at 10pm last night, ate a couple of cupcakes and then worked for a couple of hours. I thought I'd be exhausted, but not having had much sugar in the last few weeks really shows - I lay awake til 1.30 with my eyes wide open.... Ok so the plan for today is: work til lunchtime, do BW workout, eat an egg (NOT A CUPCAKE), school pick-up, swimming, parenting, work. IGNORE LEFTOVERS IN FRIDGE. IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER IF ITHEY GO OFF!!!! oh, also: finish off the sponge cake and give it away. Just give the whole damn thing away. You know it makes sense.

I had my first handover telco today, which was a strange experience. I thought I would feel relief, but instead I'm getting really angry. I definitely need to learn to let go of the past. Positives: I've been asked to manage the next issue, which will keep the wolves from the door until school goes back. Still need to figure out the long term income strategy 'though. Or even medium term...

What do you recommend for zero week? I didn't quite understand that in the challenge instructions.... I realise that four weeks isn't enough time to establish habits, but seems just about long enough to see progress on specific goals. So I assumed zero week was just to re-set the counter, review progress so far and make minor adjustments, but I've seen a few people on here seem to throw themselves headlong into additional challenges to prepare for the four-week challenges....? I'm easily confused

It's hard to stay strong for yourself when you're using up all your energy on other people.... I hope a new day gives you a chance to prioritise yourself.

So week 1 down and I weighed myself this morning. Disgusted. The 3.5kg I lost in my virgin challenge? One of them is back. Am I to never eat a sausage or a piece of cake again? Thanks for the halving tip @Butternut but I fear my baking plans will have to be iced for a while.... damn damn damn, I just remembered I booked myself on a cake decorating evening class as a reward for my first challenge. Ha! So my TDEE is 1740. MFP says 1520 target. I really don't want to consume less than 1200 on a regular basis, as it leaves me fatigued. Plus I struggle with the willpower. I'm happy with losing 0.5kg a week, as long as it's going down. This last week I've been eating more like an average of 1800, but with a moderate amount of walking I thought I would at least stay the same weight... I even considered getting my old trousers out from the loft... If I had a clue about gifs I would insert something about crying here... I managed the BW workout twice, so clearly three times is still a challenge. I meditated once, which is also not my target. But I did read two chapters of my book, and it's not painful yet. The next chapter is where the introspection starts, 'though, so I'm expecting major psychological resistance. The next two weeks are going to be a huge challenge, as I'm in design week, which means hours and hours sitting on my arse. And I'm more tempted to eat when I sit and research content... grr. Ok, time to steel myself for a good talking to!

You get to re-start tomorrow. It's cool. If being in the house is driving you nuts get out, sit in the park or whatever. Sometimes it's good to just turn the page. You've got this.

Daily log in fail It was a long bank holiday week-end here in rainy Scotland, so naturally we decided to take the camper up north. Four sleep deprived nights are not the best way to roll into day 1 of a challenge, especially when day 1 involves a funeral. So after a bad start to the week I have become more focused. Lesson: four weeks are not enough to build a habit. I am more aware of what I eat, how much I need to prepare for a "good" diet day, and how easily (oh so easily) the weight comes back on. Today I managed to stay within net calorie intake which included half a pizza and an éclair. Conclusion: éclair is just air! And if it hadn't been for the pile of mange tout and salad I would still be hungry. Choose your calories wisely, oh sugar addict, two toblerone peaks carry 256 calories!! I seem to be on that knife edge between consuming too many calories to lose any weight, and not enough to actually make my body function properly (fatigue has been a major distractor since the beginning). MyFitnessPal tells me 1520 calories is what I should be aiming for, but if I fast 16/8 I seem to hit below 1000 and have to pile on extra calories, which is just too tempting to make easy chocolate ones... or Haribo... I tried nuts (I love nuts) previously, but a handful of mixed nuts with dark chocolate chunks seemed to work out at 700 calories, so that was my dinner buggered for that day.... And I miss baking. If anyone can recommend a way to make small amounts of something let me know. If I made a dozen cupcakes they would not be safe.