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About Bixby

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  1. Still alive, still battling the binge! I have yet to string together 7 consecutive days of not binge-ing (I know that's not a word, but you know what I mean) Improvements: - got some friends to be accountability partners - talking and journaling and uncovering more of my negative thoughts about myself and food - slowly slowly slowly figuring out healthy eating choices and progressing towards "pre-cooked food assembly" on my way to "cooking" - moving away from frozen and fast foods - came back to update here, instead of giving up - found
  2. Hang in there! I have some exciting progress to report: today is day 4 of no late night binging!
  3. didn't happen on Friday - trying again tonight. I finished dinner and I am going to try to make it through the night without eating. If I get hungry, I will attempt to do some journaling.
  4. late night eating is coming back, my goal for the day is to not eat after dinner.
  5. Thank you so much! Last night I didn't do late night eating for the first time in a week. Feels great!
  6. Did some late night eating wed, thurs, and fri - but hey, the good news is that I'm not beating myself up PROGRESS Tuesday edit: Still hanging in there
  7. Monday was a success! no binge eating, no night eating. Tuesday looks pretty good so far!
  8. Ate some junk food last night, tried to have a calm, non-judgemental attitude about it. Woke up with a slight stomachache and almost wanted to go back to starving myself to compensate. Chose not to. Had a sensible breakfast, and did some housework. Trying not to worry or think about it all the time.
  9. Reading this book Fed Up! is really helping me connect my self-shaming and my binge eating. I decided to stop punishing myself and said "I can eat whatever I want, as long as I'm hungry" and I didn't do any after dinner eating aside from a small handful of nuts. I'm cautiously optimistic because I've felt good and failed before, but this is the first time I'm sharing my thoughts with other people.
  10. I got a little stressed and depressed yesterday, and didn't have anyone to talk to about it - so I did some late night eating. I didn't beat myself up over it, so that was progress. Today is a new day!
  11. Exciting news! I posted this on Monday and I did not engage in late night eating on either Monday or Tuesday! Today is day 3! I got this great book called Fed Up! and it said "self-love is the most powerful weight loss tool that you possess" That really hit home.
  12. Last night I said to myself "I'm not hungry, I'm lonely" I think this is a good start.
  13. So, I feel like binge eating now. One thing that happened is that I had a phone call with a friend that was very energetic and animated, and then my partner went to bed during the call - so I kind of left a fun, exciting party to a quiet, empty house - 100 to 0 in a second. That might be a reason why I want to eat.
  14. After years of therapy, journaling, 12-step groups, self-help books, ranting, raving, dieting, and buying fitness program after program, I'm ready to admit the truth: my binge eating, constant quitting, on-again-off-again diet and exercise cycles, guilt and shame spirals, my love-hate relationship with food, are all because I have a bad relationship with myself. I don't know who to talk to, and I am not good at asking for help, but what I decided to do is share my thoughts and feelings, here, under the protection of pseudo-anonymity (I ha
  15. Thank you for this. I think I've been focusing and looking at the wrong thing. I recently read a book that compared it to celebrating your recovery from alcoholism with a drink! But it's real! I avoid binge eating for a week and then reward myself with.....binge eating 🙃 Love this idea, thank you. I'll have to check that out! And thank you for the marathon reminder. Thanks everyone for your time. I feel a lot better today and I'm slowly beginning to understand that it is my attitude towards food, eating,
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