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About porkkchop

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  1. porkkchop

    Holding myself accountable

    Spent the last week or so in an average emotional state. And when I say average if I’m honest, pretty bad. Working on positivity and putting a lot of life matters on hold, my health and fitness being a big part of the self esteem issue. Staying within calories and exercising a lot more. Things are feeling like they’re on the upward path and I’ve had a couple good days in a row. Making the commitment to post more regularly getting back on it with my accountability. Days not over but calories will be roughly 2200, with 105 mins treadmill walking (doing work on my phone because I don’t have unlimited hours in the day), 30 min jog and 2 hr cheerleading training. More than comfortable going over calories today.
  2. porkkchop

    Holding myself accountable

    Had a couple of days to re-evaluate a lot of things, including both mental and physical health. Going over calories almost every day but not binging. Making the effort to exercise more and working on feeling good and healthy for a little while before I refocus on my body
  3. porkkchop

    Holding myself accountable

    This is my first log, making a small step towards my ultimate 55kg goal. I woke up nice and early this morning for a minor surgery. Doing intermittent fasting (OMAD), it’s a little relief that I can fill my day with big chunks of time where it’s not possible to eat. Admittedly when I’m up earlier there is a little dread that the day will feel like it lasts forever until I can eat, but I’ve been talking myself through all those thoughts. Food and weight has very much become a mental thing for me, and I’m working on making it feel like less of a big deal. Part of this process is recognising when I’m creating my own drama, in the mental back and forth between wanting to eat food and binge, but not being able to have it. Giving myself permission to eat whatever and whenever I want, but when I do, needing talk myself through how that will affect my goals / how it will make me feel now vs later and then making a rational decision. Moving away from the habit of frantic binges where I don’t feel like myself, feel irrational or uncontrolled like I’m going crazy after trying to ‘hold out’ for as long as possible, enduring a self inflicted torture. Bit of an emotional day yesterday my immediate though after waking up is food, but keeping in mind all the positives that will come with hitting my goal is a big reason to stay on track.