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Devout_Haruhiist

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About Devout_Haruhiist

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  1. Wow, these challenges really end fast. I don't really have a lot to report on this one. I might try yet again and try to get it "right" next time. Honestly I have a lot of difficulty socializing online. I never really developed the skill to talk to random people on forums very consistently and don't have social media experience, which is odd for my generation I guess. I think I did a good job at least with the gym part during this challenge period. I was able to go consistently, got a bit stronger, and generally felt a little less body comparison thoughts (though there were still s
  2. Sorry, I should have clarified. My paycheck upcoming is mostly taken by rent and another loan payment I have coming up not counted in the 700 I mentioned. EDIT: And one more thing I should probably mention. One of my self development/level up life goals is to get a job I am more passionate about. Needless to say almost all of those would, at least at the start, be much less pay (probably like 20% cut) than what I am making now. So I am left with this struggle where I am depressed because I have all this debt but paying it will take so much time at my current pace (with cutting expe
  3. I feel like I am posting updates more and more sparsely. 1. As far as fitness I think I have been doing well. I have been working harder in my workouts, think I am getting stronger, and have not had as many negative thoughts about my body recently. 2. Food I had some slight improvement, with maybe 2-3 days getting enough calories rather than 0 days per week. I still think this is an area that is holding me back a little bit. 3. Psyche- This has not been as bad as in the past. I have become less attached, for better or worse, to the concept of dating. Had a c
  4. Good point, Harriet. I have cut down expenses somewhat by cancelling some subscriptions including things like Amazon Prime and generally cutting back on buying games and fetish related stuff pretty significantly (from 100s of dollars a month to probably like 100 a month). I agree there is a lot more to be done with that though and I am probably not cutting as aggressively as I thought. That said, I was still interested in trying to make more money as it would allow me to get the feeling of paying things faster. I am also noticing that I am not really getting ahead on things like credit cards.
  5. Thought I would give an update. I will try to structure it more to what was in my original post. Fitness and Food So far this past weekend and this week I have done pretty well with this. My trainer changed up my program after the aforementioned testing and I feel like I am doing a decent amount physically. I have been able to get slightly more calories each day so maybe I will gain back the 3 lbs I lost. Feeling relatively good about my exercises and other physical pursuits. Psyche This has been up and down, like usual. I had a few somewhat successful and fun
  6. A few updates to post for today. I had a very pleasant date last night with a woman I met from a dating app. Might see her again but not sure yet. I think we have a fair amount in common aside from very different life experience (I have never been in a relationship and she is previously divorced) but we'll see. I would say I was intrigued and enjoyed the conversation, found her attractive but maybe not to an extreme point (which is probably good so I won't become overly invested). Still looking at options for the Debt Management Plan. Still a lot of shame and despair ar
  7. Wow Harriet, it sounds like you are making good progress (I just read through your thread, the title sounds like a level out of Cuphead lol). Funny you mentioned Tawkwondo, I just started trying that myself at a new school that opened near me! I liked it because it was very empty. I think I am the only adult student which is cool in a sense but also awkward since most of the other people are half my age. I hope you are getting a lot out of it!
  8. Today I had a couple of things happen/did a few things. 1. Regarding finances, I had a long call with a credit counseling service. I had constant pangs of shame and hopelessness but I got their offer for debt management (the service is recommended by my company btw) to consolidate some of my unsecured debt. I have not pulled the trigger yet but seriously considering it. Just a bit scared. 2. I matched with a woman on OKCupid I thought was an amazing match. We had a very candid conversation, she was a fit nerd, and sounded really kind and thoughtful. When we proceeded to
  9. Yeah, I tried to eat more yesterday which went ok but idk how to sustain it. It feels really bad trying hard in the gym and actually losing weight and muscle size. But I guess not bad enough for me to change my habits significantly?
  10. Yesterday I ended up with a pretty mixed day. As far as fitness/nutrition: I met with my trainer at 5pm and had a work out. Whereas on Saturday I felt I really pushed myself I did not feel that way Sunday. Part of it was we did our progress check in/measurements and the like and found that I have lost 3 lbs since we started and like .25" in a lot of muscle groups, which is basically the exact opposite of what I wanted. Though as noted before it's not shocking since I don't eat enough, just makes me wonder if I am wasting my time (especially with me becoming more self-conscious abo
  11. Hi there! I think it is a mix of things. One is a lack of appetite, for sure. Even after working out, etc. I just don't feel hungry. Also the time commitment I think bothers me and I rarely just sit and eat, I am almost always doing something else. A lot of times due to business or playing games or something I end up messing up my eating schedule too. And lastly even when I do get hungry and get a plate of food, after I eat maybe a quarter of it I start feeling full, so I never finish anything (and oddly enough this seems to scale with the portion too, I had heard about serving smaller portion
  12. All the above said I did actually do very well at my workout yesterday. My trainer set up a kind of different circuit-type thing for time (different from the usual stuff we do) and I did a good job pushing myself for lower times despite me not usually liking feeling "rushed" and the 97 degree heat here.
  13. Hi Harriet, Thanks again for the detailed and compassionate reply (I am male btw, sorry for not making it clearer). I agree that part of the issue for me is definitely that I am limiting things to online where the perception of a large pool may make me sort of just blend in with the crowd whereas in person my unique personality/traits might shine through better. I will say that everyone I know who is married or in some kind of relationship (who is my age) met in college or grad school. I feel like I kind of missed the boat and am stuck with online stuff. Honestly I don't know that
  14. I have not heard of it but I will check it out and see if they have a chapter here! Thanks! Also since this challenge has ended I have shifted over to a new thread
  15. I mean, I should probably get over 2000 I would imagine if I want to gain any weight. I have actually been losing a little bit of weight since I ramped up my lifting/workout routine and am getting more activity but eating the same. Sadly all this activity does not make me hungry at all. Today I did something I have tried a couple weekends now to try and help with how lonely and boring they are. I made a list of various chores and things I am going to do (e.g. gym, etc.) to be checked off as I go through. This is to try to help me feel like I am not stagnating as much as I am. I
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