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Magdalena Ravenclaw

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Everything posted by Magdalena Ravenclaw

  1. Keep forgetting to log in and update my weight. Only 1 pound this week, but 2.2 pounds last week. I guess my very small treat on Mother's Day really slowed the loss. Not sure why. I had no dessert, just fajita's on a low carb wrap and thin crisps with dip. And I cycled off the extra calories. Feels unfair. But whatever. I'm still very focuses and doing really well with being consistent with cycling and weight lifting and even yoga, which is a first for me.
  2. Not feeling very confident about tomorrow's weigh in as my weight shot up 4 pounds over the weekend and only just came back down to last weigh in's weight yesterday. And I didn't overeat at all over the weekend. And it's not that time of the month. And I worked out every day. So I'll be dumbfounded by pleasantly surprised if I actually drop two pounds by tomorrow. Fingers crossed.
  3. You guys are too funny. I didn't realize I was missing out on so much on my thread; I would have logged on more this week, lol. I have stuck to plan perfectly. I've cycled off any extra calories I ate (up to 450 calories of cycling one day). I worked out every planned day other than the day I was too sore. And I even did yoga several times this week (completely unheard of). My weight on Friday morning (weigh-in day) was 167.6. My weight bounces very quickly between 167and 172 so next week, if I see 165 or less, my motivation should increase even more. I've seen 167 a million times already this year, but 165 only 2x and 162 only 1x. So the more I lose from here, the more focused I'll be on actually reaching 159. @Scaly Freak what did you mean by Vit C being sensitizing? I'm curious if something I've started experiencing is what you were referring to. I stopped both Vit C and Retinol and did several days of nothing by the hyaluronic acid, and now I'm going to rotate between them and see what happens. Side quests are going well too, though I'm still pretty overwhelmed by the whole launch business, relationship marketing as an introvert (though I have a book from the library called The Introvert Entrepreneur that will hopefully help). Oh, by I finally got around to making a vision board on Pinterest ( I think I first said I was going to do that 6 challenges ago). Other than blazers/coats, I hate sleeves so wear a lot of sleeveless shirts. Oh, and I'm going to dye my hair a deep burgundy brown once I hit 159 because I feel like the undercut isn't edgy enough, rofl.
  4. Stayed up way too late last night and forgot to wash face. But did the morning wash. I hate washing my face so much that I am surprised I have done it for this many times in a row. I hate the whole splash water at your self thing. And it takes like 3 or 4 times to actually get all the soap off. I miss my facial wipes that Dr. Google said weren't good enough (though it did admit better than nothing). I am trying hard not to go back to them, but am sorely tempted. Yoga again. Go me. Did not lift weights but only because I am very sore today. I messed up yesterday. My upper body routine lately was just shoulders (2 sets of 4 different exercises) with dumbbells out in the TV room. Lower body is mostly barbell in another room. So while I was there yesterday I did chest presses and tricep presses. I figured that wasn't my shoulder muscle so I should be good. Ha! Nope. My arms are so sore. So, today is unexpected rest day and from now on I won't attempt upper body exercises on lower body days. Diet. Okay, so dieting is the bane of my existence. But I think I have stumbled onto something that just may work for me. If you remember from challenges ago, I started successfully doing the dinner dishes because I would watch an episode of What Not To Wear while doing so. Well, now I am into content marketing YouTube videos on launching your own business, sales forecasting, demographics, etc. Very exciting stuff if you are ADHD and that is what you are hyperfocused on at the moment. Anyway, I never stick to my diet. I always go over my caloric goal. ALWAYS. This is why I set a very low caloric goal, because no matter what that goal is, i will go over it. And then of course I complain that I don't lose weight. Year. After. Year. But . . . yesterday I thought of something: I want to go over caloric goal, fine. Then I cycle the extra off. Because I have all these YouTube videos I want to watch (let alone reruns of Biggest Loser), I have actually done this 2 days in a row. I know I am suppossed to like cardio. But I don't. And I never will. But I do like to eat. So if I continue to stick to this plan, it comes out to the same thing. And now I will have stuck to my calorie goal, bonus I get in cardio, and I get to watch videos I otherwise wouldn't let myself because my to-do list is too long. Win-Win.
  5. Been trying to get out of the 160's for all of 2020 and yet all I keep seeing is the 170's. Wrong direction. Hopefully this challenge I can see the elusive 159.9.
  6. Not sure whether to call this challenge #3 or #4 since I skipped the last one. O well. I've seriously lost the same bloody 5 pounds four times already. I'm 172 again. My lowest this year so far was 162 (Feb). Shot back up to 172. Got back to 165 (March). Shot back to 172+. Got back to 167. Shot back to 172. Then 165 (Apr). And now back to 172. So . . . I've wanted to lose weight and be a size that I felt good at since my early teen years. I basically dieted my whole life and only actually reached goal twice (once at 19 -- 138 lbs) and once in my early 30's (hit 129, but maintained 134 for a year). The rest of my life and every time I had a pic taken (every vacation, every Christmas, etc.), I felt shame and swore that next time I would be at goal. Obviously, that only happened twice. We went on family mini-vaca the week before last and hubby took a pic of me with the kiddos and it will never see the light of day. But in that moment I realized that I am going to be 43 this summer. And I will be d@mned if I spend the rest of my 40's chasing the same elusive dream of my 20's and 30's, I will NOT turn 50 and think "Wow, I spent my whole life trying to lose weight and failed . . . my whole life on a diet, hating how I looked." So. Yea. This is it. We are going on vacation (the same cabin) again the last week in September and I WILL be at goal (<139.9) by then. And I will maintain that weight at least until menopause (not sure if I can force my body not to gain after that, lol). Goal #1: Musculation (weight lifting) — 5-6x a week. Started last week; so far so good. Goal #2: Le régimé (diet) — Low carb, low calorie. Started last week; Good on the low carb, not as low calorie as I would have liked. BUT, I am down to 3 blocks of chocolate each night and other than a few wine coolers on vacation, I haven't drank since February. Goal #3: Je fais du yoga (doing yoga) — 4-5x a week. Started last week; haven't quite hit 4x a week, but the fact that I actually did it 2x in one week is unheard of. SIDE QUESTS #1: la toilette (grooming) — Wash face every morning and evening. Put on morning and evening cream. Started last Thursday (4/29), missed one evening; haven't missed a morning. #2: maîtresse de maison (keeper of the house) — I cleaned the entire house before we left on vacation so that I could come home to a clean house. I have successfully not gone to bed unless every room looks the same as it did that day. (Namely, each room has its own clutter magnet area and before I play on my computer for the evening, I have to ensure that all the clutter magnets are clear.) #3: école à la maison (homeschool) — Preschool the little guys 4x a week. So far, so good starting last week. #4: l' entreprise (business) — This one is complicated. Am in pre-pre-launch phase of launching my business . . . but not allowed to go on my computer until everything above is done for the day. I am hoping that I can get everything on my to-do list done this month so that I can be in pre-launch phase in June. I took a break from classes so hopefully this is possible. I took a business class last block and soooo loved it that I enrolled in their entrepreneurship certificate program which starts next block, so took this block off.
  7. I also bought a balancing clay face wash. And I've actually washed every day, once in the morning and once at night. I'm trying to do it for the full week at least since it promises results in 1 week, lol. The creams I bought were Neutrogena Rapid Tone Repair (day) and Rapid Wrinkle Repair (night). So far no drying or redness. I have very oily skin so maybe that's why I haven't found it drying. I want to get a hyaluronic acid something or other since that promises to bring moisture. Have not missed a workout and I've actually done yoga 3x since last week which is unheard of. Gonna go start a new challenge.
  8. This finally brings me to fitness. And appearance. And all that NFR-related stuff. I did dead lifts today. First time since January, I believe. (Haha, right before the writing binge). I always come out of a writing binge 10-20 pounds heavier and find myself in a hoarder house. Anyway . . . I have worked out 5x since Friday. Considering that included being on vacation (get this: the only dessert I brought was s'mores and 90% dark chocolate. I brought fruit to snack on and rice cakes as compared to the typical stock up on TONS of junk food because it's vacation. And I brought my dumbbells. I have NEVER brought workout equipment on vacation. And I have NEVER not brought tons of junk food and "treat" meals. I didn't even bring pizza. Now, I should admit that I did in fact miss it, I wanted junk food very badly, and when we came home Monday, we got pizza and slices of bakery cake. But at least it was just one day and not Thurs-Mon. Part of this new found motivation is because 1) I want to do some videos and so need to be mediagenic (which requires confidence, which I do not have at this weight), 2) a picture of me with the kids on vacation which will never see the light of day, and 3) realizing that I am 43 and have spent my entire life hating the way I look in pictures and vowing that the next vacation . . .bikini season . . . jeans and boot season, etc., I'll be thin and saying that year after year after year. If I don't do it, I'm going to still be saying that and realizing I'm about to turn 50. If I am going to lose this weight and actually like the way I look I need to do it NOW. And 4, and this one will sound weird, but I'm going to die my hair Chocolate Cherry by Feria. I am hoping that it gives my otherwise professional look a bit of an edge and I feel that I can pull that edge off if I look tones. Really toned. Think Ruby Rose meets 40 something. Hahaha. I am so serious about this that I am now only eating 3 squares (1 serving) of dark chocolate a night. (I used to eat 6-8 squares every night at a minimum). 2 days in a row now. Oh, and other than drinking a few wine coolers on vacation, I've not drank at all since January. And I have no desire too. (Mostly because weekend evenings are spent writing now instead of watching movies and drinking). But I've not gotten on the scale. It shot back up into the 170's after my mom's visit and all my clothes are uncomfortably tight so I'm thinking it's better if I don't get on and discourage myself. But my goal is to lose 1.5 pounds a week from here till end of September when we go away again. I probably won't write again till May 2nd when the next challenge starts. The only other thing I can add is that I am actually going to buy some skin care stuff (Vit C for the morning and Retinol in the evening). I have never gotten in the habit of washing my face at night. If I didn't wear makeup (most days), I don't wash at all. And if I did wear makeup, I might remember 30% of the time to wash it off. I just don't look in the mirror. Avoid them like the plague actually, so I just never remember / got into the habit. Anyway, I'm definitely seeing signs of aging now, so I figure better late than never. *sigh*
  9. So the business class was the hardest class I've taken thus far but it also brought me a ton of focus and clarity. I had already incorporated by business name back in 2019 and bought the domain (it's an independent media company), but have since then been working on a product mix and have never officially launched. I was suppossed to launch in 2020 but Covid put a halt to that, and then I ended up changing my product mix, so it worked out in the end. Anyway, I should be ready to launch sometime this year. But the point is, the class indirectly helped me realize what my brand is -- and that's what brought a ton of clarity. I'm also reading the textbooks of two additional marketing classes and I'm now enrolled in 4 entrepreneur classes. All that to say, I spent most of my mini vacation last week figuring out how to be a business owner but not a workaholic. (I found out about the workaholic thing Sat and we left for vaca on Thurs and came back Mon). First rule: I can't work on business stuff and/or writing projects until after lunch. So the morning is dedicated to cleaning the house, working out, self-care, teaching preschool, and playing with the boys. Second rule: Take 3 gram of Omega 3's daily. Apparently, 40% of nonmedicated ADHD people can get nearly the equal benefits of medication just by taking omega 3's. So, here's to hoping I'm one of the 40%. I just started last week and they said it can take up to 3 months to know if it's working. Third rule: Create and Follow a Routine. I have NEVER in my entire life ever had a routine. I've always felt that routines stifle creativity. And even when I found out that I was ADHD and all the books said you can manage it better if you have a routine, I never implemented one. So, I've been working on creating a manual for adulting. Specifically my life, house goals, weight goals, life goals, managing the house, meal plans, bill paying, etc. Everything you could possibly think of is in this book (technically it's a happy planner because I LOVE Happy Planners and have tons of Happy Planner notebook paper and project sheets, etc.). So I have a daily schedule that might say something like 9:00 Self-Care (shower, shave, face cream) and 11:00 Life Management (bills, emails, phone calls) and 2:00 Nonfiction projects. Each one is color coded. Then, I can flip to a page called "Self-Care" or "Life Management," and on that page it lists all the things that fall under that category (Self-Care: shower, shave, skin care routine / Life Management: bills, emails, phone calls), because yes, I am so absentminded I would literally forget what I am supposed to do. I don't even remember what books I am suppose to be reading. So even that is written down and lined up with that months business goals. So for instance, I have a brand book I need to read because I need to blog about my brand to launch; this allows me to realize NOT to read my advertising books yet, but to read them during the month that I will be working on an advertising campaign. Before all this, I would have read whatever seemed interesting at the time and never wrote out any goals, etc. I am hoping that since this is the first time I am doing something different (as compared to doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results) that perhaps this will actually work. That I actually can be an organized, adult-like adult.
  10. So, I found out something about myself. I am a workaholic. I had no idea because I am what is called an engaged workaholic. Meaning, I love my work so much and it brings me so much joy that I focus on it all the time. Over the years, I've read tons of time management books and how to find balance books all of which have pretty much said cut out what isn't important. Well, that pretty much justified 3 days' worth of dishes piled up on the counter, or unshaven legs, or living out of a laundry basket whenever I went on a writing binge. But of course the shame of never being able to adult well and someone noticing the messy house or going to get a pedicure and realizing your legs are super hairy (dark, course hair on very pale skin I may add) or always running late because the house is so disorganized would drive me to getting more balance / organize your life books and it's just been a viscous cycle for 20+ years. Then, in 2019 I found out I was ADHD. The reason I could never keep a house organized was because I lack executive functioning abilities. So I read tons of ADHD books on how to set up systems in your house to make it work for you. That helped a little, but didn't solve the problem. But, ADHD also has hyper-focus which explained my writing/research obsessions and binges. But now, I've discovered it's more than that. I'm actually a workaholic. One study found that "workaholics — or 7.8 percent of the sample — were much more likely to have ADHD (32.7 percent compared to 12.7 percent)" and another that "the demographic most likely to fall under the workaholic label was young, female, and self-employed . . ." So I'm not young anymore, but this started in my 20's, so apparently I've just never grown out of it. If I was single (didn't have little children I'm supposed to be homeschooling) it wouldn't be an issue. (Mr. Ravenclaw has his own writing projects and other hobbies he enjoys in the evenings after work, so anytime I go on a writing obsession/binge, he happily works on his own stories). Anyway, I found this out reading a book on work-life balance by Stew Friedman. So now I'm reading books on that subject and they are saying the opposite of the typical organize your life books. The typical ones say cut out what's not important so you can spend more time doing what you want (for me, that is my research/writing). But the workaholic ones are saying I have to work less. I guess that's a no-brainer, but that honestly never occurred to me. It was always about figuring out how to gain more time and cut more and more out of the other areas. And these new books are pointing out that I only have so many resources. If I spend them all on work, of course family (kids) and self-care are going to fall by the wayside. I think the biggest thing that stuck out at me was this: if you say yes to something then you said no to something else. So if I say yes to working first thing in the morning, I'm saying no to spending the morning with my kids, homeschooling them, etc. If I say yes, to writing all afternoon, then I've said no to being present or engaged with my children. I might be home with them (and even in the same room) but I'm not being with them. I'm not engaged. And the little guy (almost 3) has really started to notice (had gone on a 6 week writing binge from the beginning of March to mid-April) and in his meanest, grumpiest voice will say: NO TYPING ON YOUR 'PUTER. My other son, almost 5, is autistic so he doesn't communicate like a normal child . . . but his whole life he's been a mamma's boy (only I could put him in car seat, put him in his pajamas, push him in the shopping cart, and now he wants daddy to do all those things. It may just be a coincidence or maybe that's his way of showing he doesn't feel close to me lately. Not sure.) Actually, it wasn't just 6 weeks; I'm sitting here counting up. It intensified that last 6 weeks. But it started in January after my eldest son's visit. I don't *think* I was writing during the day though. That was only the last 6 weeks, and only the last 2 of that (first two weeks of April) was all day long. So about 3 months total with increasing degrees of intensity. (I should point out that I have 3 different non-fiction books about to launch due to all this, as well as 207 content marketing blog posts written scheduled. And I completed a business class during all that, which included writing a business plan for my final. But I digress. And as this post is too long as it is, I will continue in another.
  11. Basically been AWOL and didn't even start a new challenge. These past few weeks have been really rough emotionally. Mr. Ravenclaw and I got into the worst fight of our marriage . . . lots of shame . . . at first I thought everything would be different for the worse, then we talked abit and I thought everything would be better than it had, but in reality it mostly seems like it just went back to where it was. Which was just neutral. Not exactly where I want to be. Anyway . . . The class I was in during my mom's visit (online college is 1 class every 5 weeks) was a business class. I LOVED it so much that I am now enrolled in the entrepreneurship certificate program (4 more business classes). That starts in 5 weeks, so I dropped the class I was enrolled in to start in this week and am taking a 5 week break. Very desperately needed. I'm quite emotionally overwhelmed at the moment.
  12. The road trip was fun. I gained, but then lost some of it the first week back. But then this whole past month my mom has been visiting and we've been going out to eat several times a week and always have desert. I have no idea how much I gained but even my fat clothes don't fit. I refuse to get on the scale. If I had worked out, it may have helped, but of course I haven't worked out even once. My mom leaves Monday just as the new challenge starts, so my goal this challenge will just be to get back to where I was. We go away for a mini vacation the end of April so I'm not going to get on the scale until then . . . this way it doesn't depress/discourage me.
  13. So first off for this challenge is to resume weight lifting. I did not lift almost all of last challenge. I had been doing well and then everything just went to pot. The most discouraging part is I don't know what triggered it unless it was simply getting too overwhelmed by writing projects and school. My non-fiction project was suppossed to be completed before I created this challenge, but alas, it still isn't quite done. I actually didn't drink last weekend at all (the first time I was successful at this goal!) but my weight still jumped up 5 pounds I guess because I made low-carb sugar cookies and low-carb brownies. But seriously -- 5 pounds??? I am so frustrated right now. I had been 162, now I'm seeing 168 on the scale which is so close to 170 when I was trying so hard to see the 150's, that any motivation to lift weights just evaporated. Especially since I'm about to go on a road trip with my mom. I feel as though it will be impossible to not come back and not be in the 170's. And after that, my mom will be staying with me for several weeks (at least the length of the rest of this challenge). So . . . . This challenge: 1st Week: Finish Non-fiction project 2nd Week: Don't gain weight on road trip! 3rd-5th Week: Get back into the habit of working out every day / finish 2nd non-fiction project / get dressed, maintain the house, eat supper in the dining room I think, if I can accomplish the above, I will be in a good head place. And of course, it would be really nice to end this challenge in the 150's.
  14. 2021 GOALS Goal #1: Musculation (weight lifting) — Continue my current routine of 40 reps 4-6x a week with a focus only on increasing weight rather than reps or sets Goal #2: Le régimé (diet) — During my weight loss phase (goal to lose 20-35 pounds), breakfast and lunch is a protein shake and dinner is vegetables w/ lean meat; dessert is 5 squares max of 90% cocoa chocolate. I would like to reach goal by my birthday (July 1). Goal #3: Je fais du yoga (doing yoga) — I want to incorporate some sort of stretching routine. My posture is horrid, and I am extremely tight, particularly in my hamstrings and lower back. I can't touch my toes. I can't bend backwards, and my hip flexors are so tight they actually give out every now and then and the pain is so great I am immobilized for a few minutes. I would like to be limber and graceful. Goal #4: D'eau (water) — I currently drink about 54 ounces of liquid a day, and my goal is to nearly double that (drink 90-100 ounces a day) SIDE QUESTS #1: La Toilette (grooming) — Actually wash my face in the morning and before bed as well as use a day and night cream. I've done a pretty good job of keeping my hair clean and styled ever since I got it cut, so def want to maintain that. I also bought a sugar scrub and have been exfoliating every time I shower . . . and make sure to enjoy the experience. As I mentioned, I revamped my wardrobe but need to continue putting in the effort to look nice even at home, let alone anytime I leave the house. #2: Le Maquillage (makeup) — Outside of errands, I want to put on makeup if I am going out, particular to an event with people I know. #3: Maîtresse de Maison (keeper of the house) — Maintain house organization. Particularly keep up with the kitchen and laundry (the banes of my existence). #4: L'art de table (the art of table) — Keep the dining room table clutter-free and make a point of eating supper there every night (and without commercial packing). #5: L'auteur (author) — My writing goals for this year are to finish two non-fiction books and one (hopefully two) novel(s). #6: Savior faire (social grace) — I want to read several books on the art of conversation since I basically say nothing when in social situations because I have trouble with chit chat.
  15. Not very well. I am not sure what really happened. Everything just fell apart. I needed to get ahead in school because in 10 days I'm flying out to the east coast to join my mom on a road trip back here and I really fell behind on my non-fiction project. That has just made me so overwhelmed that nothing else is getting done. I haven't been cleaning up the kitchen after dinner every night, not keeping up with my hair, not getting dressed on days I don't leave the house, not working out, etc. I even stopped making my bed, which I had been doing quite regularly. And I've eaten an entire bar of chocolate the last 2 nights and will likely do the same tonight. On a good note, I did 3 weeks worth of homework (11 assignments) in 2 days. Now, I can return to my non-fiction project, and finish that up before my trip (hopefully even before then). After that, I am going to be much more diligent in keeping my projects more one-at-a-time so that I can stay on routine and keep up on all the new habits I am trying to incorporate. The weekend of January 16th was the last weekend I felt the "inner peace" that I have never in my life felt. I don't know if it was because I was eating grapes and cheese (carbs w/ serotonin precursor) at night. I feel like that alone could not be it; surely I've eaten grapes and cheese in the evenings over the course of my life. But something in my life the entire month of December and the first half of January was so in sync that my ADHD was "medicated." Maybe it was working out nearly every single day (though that would be surprising as my workouts are less than 10 minutes). Or maybe it was the clean house, and getting dressed, and doing my hair every day. Or maybe it was all of that . . . combined with not feeling rushed by school and projects. Maybe I just need to prioritize getting dressed and putting time into my appearance even at home. Maybe it was taking the time to read the French books or watch What Not To Wear or updating here whereas everything I've been doing lately in my "free time" is related to school or research. I won't list all my epic fails, since there are so many. I will just list the accomplishments. 1) As of last Friday morning, I was 162.0. I started this challenge at 167 (11th) and was likely around 170 on the 3rd. I have a feeling that the chocolate on the last 2 days may mean that I'm up to 163, but still, I did lose at least 4 pounds and likely 7. 2) I will finish my non-fiction project; it will not be part of the next challenge. Yay! 3) I mostly stuck to my diet (as can be demonstrated by the weight loss). 4) We ate at the dining room table nearly every night. All my goals for last challenge are 2021 goals, so they will stay the same. (Though obviously, a different writing project under L'auteur.) Hopefully my mom and grandmother visiting for 4 weeks won't wreck havoc too much with getting back into working out, since that needs to be my main priority. And hopefully I don't gain weight on the road trip. I have no idea what the plan is for eating (fast food?). I'm not going to set up my new challenge until February 14th since my writing project will be done at that point. And, then I leave on the 20th and will back on the 27th, so there won't be much (if any) updating NFR or working out while I'm gone.
  16. So, I've not been on lately because I was feeling so down. And it has gotten worse since Sunday. Now, granted, it is that TOTM. But I really felt like it was more than just that. Because for the last 2 weeks, I have not had that inner calm I'd had since December. And for 2 weeks, I've had no motivation to workout. So I took out my calendar and scrolled though all my NFR challenge posts trying to figure out a pattern. In a roundabout way, while reading ADHD articles (to try to deal with something that happened Sunday and triggered all this getting worse), I figured something out. The ADHD brain (especially the unmedicated ADHD brain) seeks dopamine for energy and serotonin for calm. So I googled serotonin foods and dopamine foods. Turns out the body needs meat for dopamine (which I cut out and replaced with vegetable soups) and cheese, in combination with carbs, for serotonin. So yea, that would explain it. My eating cheese with fruits and veggies throughout the day, and cheese with meat and veggies for dinner, is how I unconsciously medicated / gave my brain what it was craving. The problem is, the reasons I cut my cheese was because I wasn't losing weight. But on a good note, tryptophan supplements will increase serotonin. And even better, I don't have that much I'm trying to lose so I won't have to take supplements for too long. As for energy, I'm not sure if the problem is not having meat in my vegetable soups (since my protein shakes are providing 60 grams throughout the day) or if it has more to do with staying up too late working on my non-fiction project (which, thank God, part 1, the harder part, of the edits are done!). So, I'm going to pick up a tryptophan supplement tonight and give that a few days. If the inner peace comes back but not the energy/motivation to work out (or if I lack of energy energy even more since tryptophan makes one tired), I will address the dopamine/energy issue.
  17. 163.4. I am very happy with that number. 2 full pounds loss despite drinking last weekend. I don't know if that means not drinking could eek out another 1.5 pounds to get me 159.9 next week, but I'm gonna really try to not drink this weekend just in case. Because it has to make some difference, even if it not a complete 1.5 difference. Hopefully, I'm making sense. I just go up. Haven't even had coffee yet. I fly across the country to join my mom on road trip back in 3 weeks. My biggest fear is that just like in October, when I finally reached 159 for vacation, that I will just gain it right back because of the vacation/break in the normal schedule. My mom is staying with us for several weeks (the month of March) so I'm hoping that despite the drastic difference in routine, I can jump right back into this diet. But it will be hard. I learned my love of food, snacking, binge-eating from my mom, lol.
  18. 164.4. That's exactly one pound down from last Friday's weight and official weight in is tomorrow, so hopefully I can squeeze out another half pound. But, at least it means that yes, I can have a carb or two, a very small dessert, and even drink and still lose weight, albeit slowly. I barely worked out this week too. Am still hoping to not drink this weekend, or at least not drink Friday night in the hopes that I can reach <159.9 sooner rather than later. We shall see. It's always easy to have self-control when it's not actually Friday, lol. But words cannot express how much better I feel emotionally (about everything), when I am closer to 150 than I am to 170.
  19. I'm also discouraged because I don't really like barbell squats. I don't know why. And I'm become disinterested in deadlifts too. I loved barbells all last summer, so I don't know what the problem is. I still love barbells for upper body (OHP, chest press, etc.) but am considering doing some body weight floor exercises for my lower body.
  20. So of course the scale jumped up 4 pounds after the weekend. It it goes down by 3 in the morning, I'll know it wasn't excess calories over the weekend but just salt, alcohol, etc. But if this Friday's weight is the same as last Friday's weight after a week of faithful dieting, I'll know that I'll have to diet over the weekends as well (rather than just maintain). And mostly, I'll know I need to stop saying I won't drink on weekends and actually not drink. Perhaps I need to say, I won't drink this weekend. Or, maybe even, I won't drink Friday night. Trying not to feel discouraged, but really wanting to fit into my clothes again. I've got to want the clothes more than I want to drink. Oh, and I tried copycat Outback onion petals in my air fryer tonight. A low carb version. And made the copycat dip which came out really well. I'm gonna try zucchini chips next.
  21. That's what I've been doing this challenge as well (except for this past week). But will try to get back to that as well. Like you said, something is better than nothing and it helps keep the habit going.
  22. AWESOME!!! Muscle definition! How much are you lifting? What exercises do you do? And the Tarot dude is amazing, by the way!!!
  23. Yes, the potatoes/french fries came out beautifully crispy. I probably won't do them again any time soon because I'm trying to cut down on my carbs, but you just gave me the idea to check out Pinterest for veggie ideas in an air fryer. What do you use yours for?
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