Edgedancer

Hello everyone! I did not handle very well the stress related to research position applications. I had an emotional breakdown and needed some time to recover. I am going back to France to spend time with my family for about a month. I don't think I will be on the forum much, and I am not planning on doing any challenge. So see you all in a month!

Ah! That's a good idea. I don't have the book yet, my (french-speaking) book store hasn't received it, but it can arrive any day now. I saw your post yesterday morning, and both yesterday and today I worked on my research project in the morning so that if the store received the book during the day I could go pick it up after work. I don't usually use reading as a reward because I know reading every day is good for me. It works with Rhythm of War though, there is no way I'd rather not work and not read it so it is a good incentive!

I had the same problem when I had a water-tracking goal. My goal was pretty high, but I stopped drinking as soon as I reached it, no matter what time it was That's what matters!

Interesting! I wouldn't have guessed. I feel like it is more difficult for me to focus now than it was a couple of years ago, and it is affecting my ability to learn. But when I was in university I had to focus for long periods of time, I was "trained" for it, I guess I lost the ability due to a lack of practice.

I watched the video and went on to read other people's thread, but the song is stuck in my head on. I did not expect the "Gobble gobble" part to stick so well ^^'

I am not working that much on the bigger plan. It is making very nervous and I am just avoiding it. I'll do better tomorrow.

Stoping therapy and meds this summer, with the covid crisis going on, must have been difficult. It is good you are finding things that are helping you feel better! I hope you will find a long-lasting balance

It seems I am once more doing weekly updates only. Intention 1: a still mind Honestly, I am going better and better. I had many things to do last week, and some anxiety about it, but I feel like I dealt with it pretty well. I still have issues with the bigger plan thing, which might bring some anxiety back later on, but overall I don't feel as hopeless as I did a few week back. Intention 2: a moving body I started the "start bodyweight" workout every other day. It was my fourth time today and so far my neck didn't get stuck, so I have big hopes about this. There are not many lower body exercices but I am very happy with my neck not getting stuck so I don't think I am going to mess much with the program for now. I went out almost every day, mostly to buy scones and watch dogs play in the parc near my appartement. Intention 3: trusting the bigger plan I changed my bigger plan on Monday, but I haven't done much this week. I think I am less caught up into it now, I will get back to it tomorrow and try to make it a priority for the week. I mostly have to decide on my research plan for the next 10 years, which is a difficult task. My first draft will suck terribly, I just have to accept it and write it anyway so that I have something to start with. Intention 4: making each week special I finally took care of the basil. It is not exactly sick but it has thrips (tiny insects eating the leafs). They lay eggs in the soil so I cut branches and put them in the water to make future new plants (I am sure there is a word for this but I don't know it). I didn't really take care of my mom's Christmas present. Next week my special things are: Take care of my mom's Christmas present Get and read Rhythm of war 🎉🎉🎉🎉

I relate with so much of this. Have you tried reading or finding resources about perfectionism, self-esteem, or mental health in general? Answering irrational thoughts is helping me, but there are probably other interesting exercices that can be good tools if you don't know how to deal with questioning yourself so much. I think seeing that you have unrealistic expectations, or that your reactions to "failure" (or, well, not complete success) are not rational is an important first step. I guess not being so hard on yourself also applies to mental health: you are not perfect, but it's alright

Ah, you are doing the Start Bodyweight program? I am considering starting it, there are a lot of moves I'm already doing anyway, and the full workout seems reasonably long. Well I speak French but I don't really need to practice ^^'. Let me know if you have questions though!

Sounds exciting! Would you really be locking yourself into one thing? I don't know anything about art, but if you choose a niche, start experimenting with it, and find you don't like it, you could probably explore something else. If the niche you chose first worked well it can provide an income while you explore something else on the side. If it didn't work well you can make a U-turn with no regret. Reading this makes me realize I have a similar issue with finding my research "niche". Thinking I am now deciding for the rest of my life and beyond is bringing needless anxiety. We have to choose something now, but it doesn't mean we have to stick with our choice forever! I think remembering it makes choosing easier

I think he's a great author. Definitely one of my favorites. I read for the first time last year, and I remembered a lot of it (more than I thought), so some part were a bit long on the re-read. But it was my first re-read, and it was fun to pick up on things I had missed the first time. I was on the kickstarter too. I had completely forgotten about the novella, it was a very nice surprise! I agree. It is sometimes hard to find the will to go out, but I do feel better when I don't stay inside several days in a row. It seems like a reasonable guess. I have done all of the exercises for some time without having any problem, but I should check.

I tried the bomber push-up, but I felt it more in my pecs and shoulders. I might just be weaker there! I liked it, I might integrate it in my routine once I figure what I need to do so that my neck doesn't get stuck.

I haven't been very present here this week. I'm going to try to recap everything: Intention 1: a still mind Meditation and 15 minutes of mental health are not done on a daily basis but I remember to do them whenever I need them, which is already quite good. "Prioritize reading over screens" is going very well (hence my lack of activity here). Brandon Sanderson's Stormlight Archive 4 (Rhythm of War) is coming out on November 17th, so I re-read the first 3 books and I got really caught up in them. I finished the 3rd book just in time for a novella (taking place within the book series) which I received on Friday. I am trying to take my time reading it but I will probably finish it in a couple of days. I am not going to wait a whole week without reading anything so I think I'll read Wheel of Time 2 before Rhythm of War. It's a big book so it will probably take me a bit more than a week to finish it, but I don't think my book store will receive Rhythm of War on November 17th exactly anyway. That was quite a lot of talk about books, but it's a big thing in my life right now! Intention 2: a moving body I am going out almost everyday (sometime making trips to the book store ). Strength training is not going so well however. After one day of upper body and one day of lower body my neck was kind of stuck. This usually happens on a morning after a workout, but I did not expect it to happen on the morning after lower body. I thought it might be due to the lack of a full rest day, so I did one day of upper body, then a full rest day, then lower body, and on the next morning my neck was kind of stuck again. I don't understand. I am doing a full body warm-up on both days. Intention 3: trusting the bigger plan The bigger plan is getting overwhelming. The things I had planned for the current time-period are too big, I am not completing them, and my to-do list is getting bigger and bigger. I am not handling well the resulting anxiety. I will re-assess the plan at the beginning of next week. Intention 4: making each week special I did 2 of the things I had planed for this week. I spoke to a co-worker at least once a day, even if some days I forgot and it was not really intentional. I also did my Thanksgiving diner yesterday, yay! Planning and cooking it was week-long and exciting, which is nice. I made a vegan meat loaf which I really liked, mashed potatoes, candied sweet potatoes, mushroom gravy, cranberry sauce and a pumpkin pie (with whipped cream, as per @Rookie's instructions). It was very good and I had a great time! And with have plenty of leftovers. I did not take care of my basil this week. Next week my special things are : - Take care of the basil - Buy/make a Christmas present for my mom.

Great, thanks!

Thanks for the advice! I had to google some words, but now I'll be better prepared to buy my next skirt. The one I got probably won't be good enough for the coldest months. Right now the one legged squats are a killer exercise for my core. The push-ups too... I didn't know the bomber push-ups! I looks like a complex exercise, I might try it next time! One legged deadlifts require dumbbells, right? I don't have good replacements at home, and I'm trying to go body-weight only for now. My neck wasn't stiff this morning, yay! I did the leg workout today (single legged glute bridge, single legged squats and bulgarian split squats). That was a lot, I could not get 3 sets of 10 reps of each like I planned. I'm happy with it, I can reach failure on this without needing to do a ridiculous number of reps. Warm-up, workout and stretching was quite quick, which means I should have no trouble sticking to this routine most days.

As a would-be skirt wearer who just started living in a snowy place, thank you! I feel like long skirts are hard to find, where do you get them? Do you have specific fabric recommandation? I am not very good at this kind of things. I am not completely sure, because my previous lower/upper split used weights, and now I can only use bodyweight exercices. For lower body I'm going to try glute bridge, single leg squats (using a chair) and bulgarian split squats. I'm worried the 2 kinds of squats might be too similar, but I'm not sure what else I could do. 2 exercices feels like too little. For upper body: negative pull-ups, scapular pull-ups and push-ups. I'll appreciate any feedback on the routine/exercices!

Have any of you tried nutritional yeast? I see it all the time in the "vegan cheese" recipes (like this one) but I've never tried it. I wonder what it's worth.

I've never read any space opera, but I have checked some of the recommandations from both of you and I think I might give it a try!

The painting looks great! Thanks for the recommandations! I decided to make my Thanksgiving dinner next week-end

I did the 2 things I had picked up to make my week special (taking a walk with a co-worker and buying clothes). Next week my things are: speak with one of my co-workers at least once a day prepare a fake Thanksgiving dinner make a transplant from my basil which is getting sick. The "moving body" intention is going great for the "getting outside" part, but I am not doing my workouts well. This is partly due to my neck getting stuck again, but I haven't tried much either. I am going to try an upper/lower body split this week. This way my upper back will get more time to recover between workouts, but I'll have some physical activity everyday. I am way more consistent this way than when I workout every other day. Not challenge related, but we had a Halloween Zoom party at work yesterday, and it was really nice to socialize a little.

Ah! I thought I did, but on Google Maps the enter is not where I thought it was. It is close to the underground shopping malls I know of, but it may be bigger than I thought. I am wondering if it looks different in other parts, I need to explore more! Thank you for the suggestion! I got a skirt and boots, and it's amazing! I am confortable all the time and it looks good! This is going to become my new "default" style, I definitely recommend! Thank you for asking! I am answering a little late. My back was still stuck on Wednesday, so I let it rest for a couple of days and I worked out again today. The mornings after workout days are especially difficult, so I'll see how it feels tomorrow. I am starting to feel better. I guess several of the things I am now doing on a regular basis (going outside, 15 minutes of mental health...) are useful. I have also been quite busy, which usually helps. The downside is that I am feeling a bit stressed out by the amount of things I am trying to do (especially related to my career) and not having enough time in my days to do all of it. I'll try to manage that better next week! I also had a "I'm not feeling so well" talk with my supervisors and they were very understanding. I think it helps me to know they understand, and are not expecting crazy output from me right now. But to be honest, I don't think they were expecting crazy output before. I was the one putting too much pressure on myself.

You are doing so many things! We didn't do anything for Thanksgiving, which was our first one in Canada. I am considering making up for it by cooking a Thanksgiving meal at some point, but I am not sure what to make. I might just steal all you side dish ideas!

I skipped the pull-up practice and bodyweight workout several days because my upper back was stuck. I started again today and it felt good! I think my traps don't react well to stretching, so I'll stop stretching them for a while and see how it goes. Today I had a walk with my co-worker, it was really nice!

I think it would. Sometimes I start by writing a bunch of thoughts down, and then tackle them one at a time. After I do just a few I find the last ones I wrote down don't matter anymore. Answering the first thoughts help to clear things up more globally. I now have a pair of comfy jeans, and it's a real step up! I also thought my dress-style didn't matter if I was staying at home all day, but it turns out wearing leggings everyday for several months is not very good for my self-estime. So I'm very happy about the comfy jeans! I am planning on getting a skirt, and then I'll be able to wear leggings AND be elegant. Crazy! There are a lot of skyscrapers, and many shopping malls and shops concentrated in the same area. I am not used to that, in Paris there are small shops everywhere, even if some streets have more than others. There were some roadworks, which I thought was annoying, but I now realized the road was blocked and there weren't any cars, which actually made it nicer. It's also a part of Montreal that feels more north-american than european, so it seemed more exotic to me!