Darciana

Grounded walk was a win! It ended up being a very nice day - not too hot, not too cold. I was still in a sweater, but I wasn't freezing which was nice compared to the morning when I was! Today started rough so far. I've been sleeping awful and, although I'm getting enough sleep, my sleep cycles are wonky and I'm not getting enough REM/deep sleep. This morning I didn't wake up to my watch vibration alarm (goes off about 20 seconds before the Man's) but I was jolted awake from a very intense dream by his obnoxiously loud alarm. I tossed and turned all night and know I was awake far more than I should've been simply trying to get comfortable (impossible it seems). Chest day suffered a bit due to that. I just didn't have the energy or the care to really try. The only thing that increased was my finisher- dumbbell bench press. Even then, it wasn't really an increase, it's just that the 20lb weights were always taken when I was doing that so I had to drop down to 15s for 10-12 reps the last couple weeks. I did one set with 15lbs and then the guy returned the 20s so I finished my last 2 sets with those. An increase but not really an increase. My shoulder has popped out of socket a couple times today. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not focused, I'm weaker due to being tired, or because it's weaker after I accidentally popped it out last night working on the truck. No matter what, it's a bit sore even sitting here at my desk so I'll need to be mindful/careful of it since we have back/shoulders tomorrow. Food is good. Dinner was less flavorful than I had hoped but I was also rushing it a bit. My own fault. Overall, I think the ingredient prep with a tentative meal plan is the way to go - I know what recipes I have ingredients prepped for and I can adjust from there. I need to start looking at meal prep for next week. I'm not going to have much time to prep at all since I'll be crunched even getting the groceries. I've been taking a look at the Coach's app for balanced macro meal idea and favoriting a few to try. I forgot to log the 1/2 mango the Man gave me at lunch (leftover from his lunch so it wouldn't go bad) so I ended up 20g over on carbs for the day. That's okay, this week is learning and seeing where I stand. I'm inputting my breakfast, lunch, and figuring out what sounds best regarding dinner (chicken burrito bowl, chicken burrito in tortilla, chicken taco salad, etc.) and logging that so I can see where I stand. Yesterday I should've had a piece of bread with my soup (along with the mango) rather than 2 slices of bread with my dinner which didn't quite fit well together. Today I'll see the basic meals and improvise the sides and snacks around them to meet macro goals as closely as I can. Mundane Magic was all completed yesterday since it ended up being a nice day later in the morning. I was able to Greet the Day when I let the dogs out and then we went on a delightful walk after I finished eating lunch. I managed to squeeze in Rune and Oracle very late in the day yesterday, but got it done. I've already finished Rune and Oracle for today - I told myself I couldn't hop on here until that was done. I still have a Full Moon Ritual/Tarot spread to do today so I needed to knock out the other things right away if I was going to have any hope of finishing it all on top of work. Today is still supposed to be clear so I'll aim to take the dogs for a walk after lunch again and get that walking meditation. Yesterday it forecast rain starting tomorrow through the weekend but it seems tomorrow might be clear around lunch with rain starting later. Hopefully as I imagine a walking meditation is so much easier/better outside in nature than on a walking pad indoors. Plus the dogs can go with when I go outside hah! Budget is good. As of today I have what we owe for our half of the summer vacation set aside - I'll just need to pull the money from an ATM before we go see Fam next (this weekend?). That will make me feel much better to not have that debt looming over me. It is much easier for me to deal with debt to banks than to friends or family. I've adjusted my budget to account for these things and feeling confident I can get it taken care of quickly. My bank also refunded me the $13~ from the Uber charges I didn't make so my credit card is under $7k again. I just have the other card with $700 I need to pay down as well. Very doable as long as I stay mindful. This weekend is the only travel plans we have until June that I know of so I should be okay there. No work on MBA yet, the Man wanted to get started on the truck before the rain comes in so hopefully we can finish the big stuff before it gets too miserably hot to be working outside. I think maybe tomorrow I'll be able to get started helping him. We figured out a plan that he'll talk me through it (he's better at talking things through than writing) and I'll create an outline based on his talking points and the rubric for this paper. From there, he can expand on my outline to create the paper and I'll then edit the paper (using my outline as a reference to be sure we stuck to the rubric). I think that's it. A lot of ramblings but I'm so exhausted and I had to take a lot of breaks typing this up. Wish me luck today, I'll need it. I hope today is smooth sailing on a beautiful sunny day ❤️

148.7 Back down to a loss from the start of this, thankfully, even if it's less than a pound of loss. I hired a coach to help with nutrition and teaching me about balancing macros. I know I'm not getting enough protein and I've under-eaten for so long I need to fix my mindset around food. I'm doing okay on my own, but I think having a coach and that accountability will really move things along. She's also certified for women's health so she can help me fix any food-related hormonal imbalances (and I have plenty of those) and I'm excited to learn some new things and see some changes. Today marks Day 1 with her and I'm on the books for 4 months (with option to continue monthly). Workouts have been good, I'm still hitting PRs and feeling okay so I'm finding my stride. Now to continue that! 10k is this coming Sunday and then I only have a 5k trail run on June 1st to worry about for run-related activities for the time being. Unsure if we're still planning to make the Shiner Beer Run an annual thing or not. Prices increase the end of June and 5k sold out in August last year so we'll have to decide before then or have the decision made for us. Future me can deal with that, though.

And I'm perfectly happy to be stuck with you, Darling. You make my heart happy and I'm glad we found one another despite the distance 😘 Hi Friends! More PRs in the gym today for legs! I'm feeling really good and I was able to figure out my Coach's app to input my workout. Now that leg day is in there, I can click on that and simply add my weight/reps and adjust sets (right now I have a target of 4 sets of each). Later today I'll have to add in workouts for Chest, Back/Shoulders, and Arms so I can just hit "start workout" and input the information as I go (today I used my Hevy app as I had been previously. I'll likely still input the info there for when I'm no longer working with my coach/using her app so that I can continue to track). Meals are prepped for this week within reason. To make things a bit easier for me to eat through the week without getting tired of said meal, I just batched cooked a bunch of chicken and shredded it. Then planned out meals I could make using said shredded chicken. Lemon orzo chicken tonight, chicken tacos/burrito bowl tomorrow, big salad with chicken Wednesday, and chicken pasta Thursday (but I can switch it up depending on what sounds best). Fish Friday since I have a surplus of frozen fish now that the Man has switched up his diet and isn't eating fish on it. I have macros set by my Coach and this week is simply focused on tracking my food at least 4 days so we know where I stand now. After this week, we can adjust and discuss how to better meet those macros. Within my prepped meals (breakfast and lunch are prepped, but they're small so I have room to expand on them), I am working to figure out how to get somewhat close to my macros just as an experiment and to learn. I'm not terribly upset if I'm not perfect since this is kind of like Week Zero for us, time to get settled in and figure things out. Things will be interesting since I'll be out of town Saturday night/Sunday morning for my 10k and I'll get to learn how to stay somewhat balanced while eating out. I've got back to back calls this morning so I haven't gotten my weekly Tarot or my daily Rune and Oracle done yet. It's very cold this morning so I haven't gone out to Greet the Day. Hopefully it'll warm up enough for my planned lunch walk and I'll be able to Greet the Day then. Depending on how I'm feeling I'll either improvise a meditation on my walk, otherwise I'll listen to a walking meditation to knock that out. My coach planned me for daily 10 minute walks so habit stacking will be beneficial. Budget is a bit haywire given the Coaching cost but I'm going to update things and re-work it. I know it is more than doable, I just need to be mindful of my spend, have patience, and make sure I'm checking in on my budget regularly to keep on track. I feel confident I can handle it without issue. The Man and I didn't to start in on Big Project 3 which is due Sunday. I work this week Friday, I have to knock out grocery shopping Saturday morning, and then we're leaving Saturday afternoon out of town for the 10k Sunday morning and we won't be home likely until later Sunday afternoon and it's due Sunday evening. Will be busy after work all week which is going to be mentally tough since this week is going to be rough work-wise, too. I'm getting low on my day and night serum and I got a new Big Box with plenty of jars and roller bottles so I'll need to plan some time to do some In-Edible Alchemy work in the coming weeks. Hopefully the weekend after the 10k, I don't think we have anything planned and the Alchemy work doesn't take terribly long, at least not for the face serums. I'll be happy to get back into that. Alright, back to work with me. I hope you all have a wonderful day and know that I truly appreciate you and am glad to have you in my life ❤️ You. Are. Amazing. Never doubt that.

I like the way you think! Hi Friends, Another quick one here, I got some papers to edit! I woke up and repeated the 60 minute walk + run from Peloton app. I felt much better about this one from the last one. Not sure if it was my mindset (I started to talk about dreading it and stopped it to tell myself it was going to be a good run and I can stop anytime if it becomes too much without there being an issue). Managed a solid 4.4 miles but in these hills that's a lot, especially since it's a pyramid and equal parts run and walk: 1 min walk, 1 min run, 2 min walk, 2 min run all the way up to 5 mins of each and then back down to 1 min each. Plus warmup and a minute cooldown. I took the dogs for a walk after to cool down further and make them happy (they were pouty and mad because I went on a "walk" without them) Food is good. My beef (venison) and broccoli turned out really delicious and I have some left over for lunch today. The Man is going to make me some fish tonight for dinner (he makes it on the stove, I've only ever made it baked. His is delicious though). I had PB oats with blueberries this morning after my run and a banana before my run. The banana didn't sit well until about 20 minutes it, but at the end I was glad to have it since I didn't have my usual cramps or lightheadedness. Editing papers for the Man today and getting an outline to better describe what the BigProject is which is due next weekend for the Man to do. He's got an A in both classes and we're coming up on the end! Whee~ Mundane Magic is going well. I've slacked these last few days on Rune and Oracle but the other habits and rituals are doing well which is important. Budget .... well I spent a good chunk hiring a coach. It's $200 a month for 4 months or $700 for 4 months which is where we're starting me off. Typically it's 6 months but I'm ahead of the game with my knowledge and the fact I already have a fairly healthy routine in place. I took the discount and paid up front. Plus that locks me in for 4 months to get my money's worth and I need that level of accountability. Our primary focus is nutrition since it's where I feel the least confident and need the most help. I will have some help/guidance on exercise and mindset, too, though, which is nice. This is an investment in my health. It's significantly pricier than my monthly gym membership but now that is switched over to the First Responder rate (free), that frees up a bit of money as well. I feel like I can pay off that card in a fairly short time and be able to take advantage of the discount over spending the $200/month. I'm also hoping getting help with nutrition (specifically meal planning in a way that I'm not tossing 2-3 days worth of food because I'm absolutely sick of it) will help me reduce my grocery bill to help make up for the cost. It all works together in the end. Anyway, I gotta go edit this paper now so I can attempt to meal plan (coach gave me a great idea on our call today that I think I'm going to implement next week). Tomorrow is supposed to be rainy/stormy so I think I'm going to try to get groceries then in case Sunday turns out nice enough (supposed to be a bit chilly) we can kayak and/or fish. Love you all sooooo much ❤️ Thanks for sticking with me through this super hectic time with work

Thank you, Darling ❤️ I've been neglecting you, I am so sorry. But I appreciate you being here. That's very good to hear! I'm excited to look through them and get ideas. I definitely will make some tweaks, like rice rather than cauliflower rice (ick, I keep trying but I cannot seem to force myself to like it). I don't seem to have any issues with gluten but definitely dairy. I want to remove gluten longer term and slowly reintroduce it to see if there's any minor reactions. Thank you! I'm trying! Hi Friends, Super quick update: The Man joined me again for arms today. Nothing too spectacular, I'm dealing with cramps so I took it easy so I didn't overwhelm my body. The Man said something about going back tomorrow to do legs. I think I should run (it's my last Friday to run before the 10k next weekend since I'll give myself a rest). There's a chance I may have to stay up late tonight to join a meeting at 10pm my time so we can talk with the team in Mumbai and if so, I'll gauge how I feel in the morning or if I just take a rest day. Food is okay. I have my books and I'll have to spend some time with them tomorrow to get ideas for next week. It's supposed to storm Saturday so I think I'll go shopping then and need to be prepared for that. My meditation walks have been very beneficial. Knocking out 2 things at once has been helping me since I feel like I'm constantly running out of time. Today I decided to Greet the Day while the Man drove us home from the gym. He had the windows down (I was chilly but it is nice enough outside I could deal) and felt good and was able to get grounded despite moving. I'll still aim to get outside today, but at least I don't have that pressure on me to get it done. Budget still the same as yesterday. No issues there. Alright, gotta go! Hope a beautiful day with fresh, crisp air and the sun smiles down on you

Thank you. My bank is aware and they've locked my card out and are sending me a new physical card to me. The charges are still there, but hopefully they'd disappear. It's a whole $13 and change so not a huge deal at all (thankfully) but I'd rather it be removed. Thank you. I'm trying to stay upbeat and positives - to find the silver lining. Work has been absolutely beyond stressful so I'm trying to offset that with being relentlessly positive in my personal life. Also, working out and eating right helps my body fight the negative impacts of stress so kinda important hah! Hi Friends, Yesterday was so busy with work! I wanted to get something knocked out first thing before my Procurement Agent got in so I immediately knocked that out. Then, just as I finished, I got a call about another project needing me to finalize a few things. Next thing I know, I've gone down a rabbit hole of various tasks for all my projects to try to finish things up. Whew. It was very productive but busy busy. I hit a PR in the bench press yesterday which was super exciting! Today I upped my weight in the reverse fly but all other back stayed relatively close to what I was doing before. Most of the back exercises I had gone up in weight the week before last so I'm simply happy to not be going down in weight this week. I'm finding that if I go up on weight one week, I'll maintain it the next week and then go up again the week after that. The back exercises track with that pattern so I'm content with this. Arms will be much the same tomorrow as I increased in most exercises in my last workout. Food is good. After logging (estimates) I'm decent on protein but super high in fat. It's good fat (avocados, olive oil) but it's making up nearly 50% of my calories. Oops! I did get 2 of my new recipe books in (Well Fed and Well Fed 2) when I checked mail this morning on my way home from the gym. Today my final book (Well Fed Weeknights) should be arriving so I'll have lots of delicious paleo friendly recipes to choose from. I'm realizing I feel a bit better when I include a small bit of carbs from whole grains (oats mainly) and I don't have the crazy sugar cravings I was having before so I'm focusing on paleo more for the dairy-free aspect. I'm finding it far more challenging than it should be to locate quality dairy-free recipes that aren't just "dairy free mac and cheese" or "dairy free nachos"....Ugh. At least I know I'll be dairy free if I stick to paleo-ish. I have not yet edited the paper the Man sent me on Monday. Hopefully tonight I'll have a bit more brainpower to knock that out. I need to get that knocked out so I can get started reading the prompt for the Big Project so I can guide him on it. This is especially important as there's the possibility of work travel next week (less likely) or the week after (more likely) and I believe Big Project is due Sunday next week (28th) and we have our race (5k for The Man, 10k for me) which we'll be out of town Saturday evening-Sunday afternoon (we're overnighting since it's about 1.5 hours away and the race starts at 8am). Eek! I'm off Friday so other than my call with Tay to see if Coaching would be beneficial/work financially, I can focus on getting him set up. We have no plans I'm aware of this weekend so hopefully we can make a large dent, if not finish, the Big Project. Great news is that I've done something right because he felt less than confident in BigProject 2 and found out he got 150/150 points (100%)!! The end of this first set of classes is in sight finally and then we only have 10 more weeks of probation to work/worry through hah I forgot about my Essential Oils bill coming out (I've now added that to my budget) so I'm about $40 lower than my ideal Buffer Balance. This is okay. Other than possibly needing to get fuel in the Tahoe tomorrow after the gym (depending on if The Man goes or not) I'm not spending anything more before Friday. The books I bought were already accounted for prior to the vacation paydown so that's set. I also purchased them from Thrift Books so they were much cheaper than the amazon prices linked above. I'm still feeling good about things. May includes 3 paychecks which also means June will be set up nicely. Hopefully that gives me a chance to pay down the rest of the vacation and still have some left over for food and activities on said vacation. Things are looking better financially. Not perfect and plenty of room for debt to creep up but I'm feeling much more confident than I was a couple months ago. Been pretty good about doing a walking meditation with the dogs daily. Yesterday I ended up having to squeeze the walk in between getting off work and making my dinner since I failed at going during lunch (I also ate lunch very late since I went down that rabbit hole and forgot to eat until the Man told me to). I've managed to get outside and Greet the Day, including today already, pretty consistently. Yesterday I felt a block so I lit an incense and really focused on clearing it before grabbing my Runes, Oracle, and Tarot. I ended up doing my weekly Tarot card a day later but one day won't hurt. I still need to knock out runes and oracle today but I'm feeling good I can do that without issue. So long as weather cooperates, I'll do another walking meditation with the dogs around lunch as a break from work. Alright, I need to go oil my hair before the Man takes over the bathroom again - I failed to do it last week so I'm knocking it out early this week. I won't miss it two in a row! I hope today is beautiful and productive yet calm ❤️

150.2 2.5lb up from 2 weeks ago (didn't check last week) and 0.7lb up from the start of this round. That's okay, there's be a lot going on. Last week was a mess of trying to recover from 72 hours with very minimal sleep, horrible eating, and no workouts. I finally started feeling better on Friday when I did some Peloton strength workouts. The weekend resulted in eating out both Saturday and Sunday, Saturday including cheese (hello bloat!). Yesterday I was short on water but managed at least 60oz so not as bad as it could've been. Today we resumed our lifting plan and I'm feeling much better about getting back into it. The Man meal prepped yesterday so I could use the leftover chicken for my crockpot lunch prep today. My dinners are not paleo but I chose balanced meals that included small pasta sides or rice since we have a surplus in need of being used up. They're individual single-serve meals so I can reduce waste but avoid boredom. I'm feeling good about my progress going forward and I know these 2-ish pounds will drop off in the next day or two as my body works through the lactose-induced inflammation and the water weight from slight dehydration.

Hello Friends! We are back at it with the gym this morning and I hit a new high weight for hack squat and leg press! I was worried between being off last week and then doing my Peloton workout Friday and the soreness I'm still feeling in my legs from that, today would be extra challenging. I think mentally I felt like I was behind the curve having missed last week (even though I did 42 squats and 42 deadlifts during my 10 minute legs Friday....I think that's sufficient) so it was easier for me to push a little harder through the Monday morning grogginess. I've got some non-Paleo meals this week. They're still balanced, but I'm struggling and have a lot of pasta and rice in the house that honestly needs to get eaten up. Today will be the worst/unhealthiest for me since it will include the tortellini we have that needs using - it has cheese, of course. I have my lactose pills, though, and I'm behaving otherwise. Lunches will be a chicken pot pie soup I just tossed into the crock pot. Hopefully it'll be done by lunch today. I ended up doing a sort of meditation and Greet the Day on my walk with the dogs yesterday. Saturday was less focused, but I still gave it a little effort. No Rune or Oracle this weekend, though. I knocked that out this morning already, though to get ahead. I still need to pull my weekly Tarot and journal in my daily affirmations and such, but that's much easier to remember and knock out in a work break or throughout the day. The Man is ahead in his classes other than my editing. I have one paper to edit and one paper I need to read the prompt and guide him to what they're asking - it's the 3rd and final installment of the Big Paper I've been needing to help with. It's not due for another 2 ish weeks (not this coming Sunday but next. The 28th) so I've got some time. Budget is good. I did spend a little more than I'd like this week but I still have a very nice buffer in place and my paycheck is Friday. Any excess I have will be send to T and Kers. T and The Man went ahead and booked a rental for our annual beach trip in June and T paid for it so we owe them our half. So long as nothing unexpectedly comes out of my account, I'll be able to pay half of what we owe them with what I have excess of 🙂 That's a nice feeling. Glad I started saving up for that already. The other thing I'm looking at is a coach. I've been chatting with one for a few days. We set up a call for Friday to discuss where I'm at, what she can offer, and, based on that, what the cost is and if this would be a good fit. She specializes in women's health, including hormone regulation and working with our cycles so I think, if it works out, it'd be beneficial for me. We will see! EDIT: I found there was a charge to my credit card (the one I'm trying to pay off) from Uber. It's a small charge, under $15, but I went ahead and locked the card and once the pending charges process I'll dispute them and request a new card based on my card being "stolen". Ugh. Nothing is ever safe. Alright, off to get ready for this work call! I hope today is fantastic for you ❤️

I am glad you're safe and inspired. I wish you a quick conclusion to paper-writing so you may enjoy your visiting without it nagging at you. May the league be a delight rather than a burden and the discussion be immensely helpful

I'm sending bucketloads of support, love, comfort, and positivity your way to help you. I'll even offer up being a sort of punching bag, if you will, to rant your frustrations out so you can move forward ❤️

Hi Friends! Today I'm happy. I have finally overcome the sleep debt to the point I woke up naturally at 545. I got out of bed at 6 after deciding I could squeeze in a workout. I stacked 3 strength workouts on Peloton: glutes/legs, back/chest, and arms/shoulders, each 10 minutes long for a total of 30 minutes. These are higher intensity circuits so I got a little cardio in, too. I also just returned from a shorter walk with the dogs. I'll try to get another walk in later on in the day if I can manage. Not fasting, but not eating. My creamer and collagen added ~100 calories to my coffee but I'm not food hungry. We did end up with pizza after all (the Man made me a liar on here. He did cook the chicken drumsticks but said he just cooked them since they'd go bad otherwise and we can eat on them for lunch today instead). There's leftover pizza and I'm not even hungry for that so that means I'm not going to eat. It's like that "if you're not hungry enough to eat an apple (or whatever healthy alternative of your choice), then you're not truly hungry" and that's the case here. It sounds delicious, don't get me wrong, but now is not the time. Today for lunch I have chicken drumsticks and some spinach I need to eat up since I'm not making the soup I planned with it anymore. I need to think of something for dinner for us since the Man is likely eating a normal again. Work is hectic and I'm beyond stressed but I'm making progress a little at a time. I'm hoping today will stay quiet and I can knock out everything that doesn't require input from others (which I've reached out, but they're not working today. I've reached out to a couple others higher in management to see if they can provide the guidance or point me to the correct people so at least it shows an effort and I'm not just slacking on a "free day"). Budget is good. No additional spend outside of pizza for dinner ($15). Bills are paid for this paycheck and new vehicle loan payment is already set aside in full. This is good because next paycheck will be needed to cover BigBills at the 1st of the month and I only have about $80 in bills coming out of it for this month rather than a large chunk. Whew! Still hoping to set some extra aside in savings as well as pay down more on the credit card once my grocery bill and any fuel cost is finalized this weekend (the Man drove the Tahoe last so I'm not sure how much fuel I have/if I will need to refuel during this grocery trip). I did manage a walking meditation yesterday and again today. Today was less successful due to the overwhelming stress of work already this morning, but it did help me calm down and recenter a little bit. I didn't ground like I had hoped so I'm not going to check the "greet the day" box just yet. I'd like to give it another chance later when I'm calmed down a bit more. I haven't done my Rune or Oracle yet, but I plan to. I finally managed to get back to that yesterday - it's a habit I'm still building so staying consistent is priority. Alright, my kettle has finished, time to make some tea and settle into a quiet working time to knock out SO MUCH WORK. It needs done, though. I hope today goes smoothly and you can accomplish everything you set out to do with epic success!

Update: we're not having pizza after all. We are having the rest of the chicken drumsticks for dinner with sides. What those sides are, I'm not yet sure but I've got time to figure it out. These drumsticks needed to be cooked up or they would go bad so I suppose it is not only the healthier thing, but the smarter and less-wasteful thing. Saves me from having to drive across town and back, too! I've downloaded a couple apps: One reminds me to drink water every hour and automatically calculates 1/2 my bodyweight in oz with the ability to add adjustments for 4 levels of sport (Quiet: 0oz, Normal: 7.6oz, Lively: 15.3oz, and Very Lively: 30.5oz) and 4 levels of weather (Cold: 3.8oz, Mild: 0oz, Warm: 7.6oz, and Hot: 15.3oz). I can also add adjustments to increase goal outside of sport or weather if I want to do so. The other app reminds me to get active and take a 5-10 minute break every hour. It's a nice way to remind me to get up and move around. It's a rather boring app because everything is behind a paywall other than the reminder, but that's sufficient for the time being. Walked the dogs after lunch. I "fasted" until lunch (I had some collagen peptides (70cal) with my coffee with NutPods creamer (40cal) and some BCAAs (5cal) so not a true fast.) and I'm not particularly hungry which is a good thing. My body is no longer craving an endless supply of food to offset the exhaustion. Alright, back to work with me! I have ~45 minutes until I'm off.

These activities sound quite delightful and relaxing. I hope you are able to get the appropriate down time, reflection, and rest needed for safe travels/outing this weekend.

It is national pet day in the US so I've included my little furballs because they're cute. And currently quiet. No workout again this morning. We set alarms but neither of us felt up to it. It was easier to wake up this morning and I woke up just before my 7am alarm naturally which was nice and a marked improvement in rest/recovery. No walk yesterday because the wind was absolutely awful. I likely would've been blown away back to Kansas if I had tried (which I did, at lunch). Today looks like it'll be better so I'll aim to get the dogs out for some movement. Need to focus on getting up and moving around more during the day. My steps are very low lately and I need to fix that. I've already lowered my step goal to 7k and I haven't met that all week! We have decided we are off our diets this week entirely due to the upheaval of the eclipse and being at the fire station (not home prepping meals). We will resume with prepping meals Sunday, as usual. The Man, despite me informing him several times (and seeing our increased grocery bill the last 2 weeks), wasn't aware I had gotten him things for his diet to even eat this week..... Um, sir, what was the point of me spending the extra money? At least most of it is in the freezer and can be used this weekend for prep instead, reducing my bill. Tonight we've decided to order pizza because we're both craving it. I'm going to certainly feel that (dairy) later but I'll bounce back. It's rather nice to have my mind yelling to get back to my goals - shows how ingrained they are now. I will, brain, I will. I haven't completely abandoned them, I ate a nice balanced lunch yesterday! I have the makings for a balanced lunch today. Budget is all good. I'm a bit ahead with it so after groceries are bought, I'll put some aside in savings and a bit more towards the credit card. I've managed to keep it at ~$7k for a couple months (discovering a monthly bill which was on there and then an unexpected cost which I've since paid down but needed a few extra days on). It's time I actually dig deep and start paying it down. Didn't manage Oracle or Rune yesterday. Goal is to get that done today. Didn't meditate, either. I did Greet the Day but it wasn't fully outside (wind) I stood with the door cracked and I decided that's enough. It was an effort and I'll count that. Today will be better. It has to. I did read a chapter last night though our evening was interrupted by some news.... have kids they said, it'll be fun they said. The teenage stepdaughter allowed herself to be "peer pressured" into some very bad decisions and is now having to face the consequences (and is discovering being "peer pressured" isn't an excuse because she didn't have a gun/knife/direct threat to her forcing her hand). She now has lost everything (per her mom and agreed on by dad) - phone, car, computer (except for school and she will be monitored by an adult during use), no friends coming over, no going to see friends, and she will be quitting track and wrestling (she just got back on the track team this semester after failing a class and being removed due to grades and she loves wrestling which she just joined this year so this one will hurt - this has to do with after school time during which she made the bad decisions in the first place AKA skipped practice early). Anyway, wasn't really in the mood after all this so I finished one chapter and called it a night. The Man's ahead on his school work thanks to being stuck at the station all day. I'm not so much. I have 2 papers to edit so he can submit but both are 2-3 pages (double spaced, Times New Roman 12pt font) so they won't take very long at all. Maybe I can knock that out tonight so I can help with statistics (not sure where he stands on that class for this week - due Sunday night). Okay, I finished my water, best go get my coffee now. I hope your beverage of choice is the perfect temperature and brings you immense joy. Allow that little smile to shine through, even if the world falls apart around you. You're allowed to have a happy moment to yourself, even if everything else is going wrong. Trust me, those little moments are what will get you through. Savor them ❤️

I hope your relentless positivity pays off for you. I am terribly sorry about the couch situation - I second the suggestion of earplugs. I've had to use them at hotels and such (I'm a very light sleeper) and although not ideal, they do help me get some shuteye. I send my love and calm thoughts your way!