Thilde

So, spotting or bleeding after strenuous activity or unusual exertion isn't unheard of. It could be that, or it could be totally coincidental and unrelated to the bike ride. I can't give medical advice, but I can tell you what I'd do: if it were me, I'd keep an eye on the spotting and take note if it gets worse, has a bad smell, changes color, or anything else funky, and if it did, then I'd call my doctor as soon as I was able. If it has any of those changes and comes along with a fever or any other feelings of malaise, I'd call a doc for sure. But, if the spotting stays very light and just goes away on its own after a day or two, I'd make a note of it but I'd chalk it up to normal occasional spotting that many women get, and wait until my next regular doctor appointment to mention it. As always, though, trust your gut: if something seems off, or if you just don't feel right, call your doc if for no other reason than to put your mind at ease.

@Zera I know this is a super old post but I'm hoping y'all are still around. I'm 8 months postpartum and I have been terrified to do any type of ab or core exercise because I have no idea if I have any distasis recti issues or not. I asked my Dr asked about it at my 6 week postpartum appt and he gave me a very quick "nope!" when I asked if I had any ab separation issues. He didn't actually examine anything so I'm not sure how he came to that conclusion! I've read a bit online about how to tell if you have ab separation from pregnancy, but the problem I'm having is that I am a big girl and I have a significant amount of belly fat that seems to obscure my abs when I'm prodding around. I can't really feel anything and I have no real idea what I'm looking for! I can't really find any gaps but I'm not sure if I'm poking down far enough in my belly chub? Since I'm not sure what state my abs are in post baby, I've steered clear of any and all core exercise because I don't know what's safe. Problem is I'm paying for it now with a recurrence of low back issues that I struggle with when my core strength decreases. Any suggestions? Should I keep trying to figure out if I have any ab separation, or should I just do the exercises to be safe? Do those exercises help abs that aren't separated too? If so, how frequently are the exercises recommended and for how many weeks usually? *I know no one can give medical advice except my dr. I'm just looking for some guidance as to what I can do at home in my daily routine to support my regaining of my core strength.

I also joined NF 6 years ago and had a similar bumpy road of mental health challenges, weight gain, and changes to my physical body that have brought challenges with my mobility. I just recently came back, right before the last challenge. I am so far from where I was 6 years ago, but I believe with gradual, consistent work it is possible to get back to healthiness. I wish you good luck on your journey.

I am really getting into "Norse Mythology" by Neil Gaiman right now. I use Audible to experience books on my commute to and from work and I am really loving it. I have been able to experience many, many more books on Audible than I would ever have time to read with my current schedule at work and home.

All right, folks. Time for the challenge retrospective. Really squeaking in late here, as the next challenge starts TOMORROW, yaaaah. Here's how I did for my first challenge back in the game. [Nutrition] Eat a vegetable with two meals every day. Gold Star if I manage to find a way to make vegetables palatable for breakfast. Longest streak: 10 days in a row Total number of successful days this challenge: 25 Gold stars: 1 Thoughts - This one turned out to be surprisingly easy. My baby just recently started solid foods. We're doing baby-led weaning, which means no purees, so she eats what we eat. This means I now have an even better reason to keep the meals balanced. The side effect is that all three of us are eating veggies multiple times per day. Hooray! I will continue this lifestyle choice daily ongoing, but will consider this challenge met. [Health] Drink two of my big stainless water bottles full of water every day. Gold Star if I manage three full bottles in a day. Longest streak: 4 days in a row Total number of successful days this challenge: 15 Gold stars: 1 Thoughts - This one turned out to be surprisingly HARD. I was honestly really shocked that I struggled with this one as much as I did. I guess I never realized how many hours go by without me even thinking about drinking water at work, until I started paying attention. Some version of this goal will continue next challenge. [Fitness] Walk for 15 minutes every day. Gold Star if I walk for 30 minutes in a day (can be broken into multiple walks). Longest streak: 1 days in a row Total number of successful days this challenge: 1 Gold stars: 0 Thoughts - HAHAHAHAHAA. Yeah, so this was a giant fail, for two big reasons: 1) the black fly season here was especially bad and it took up most of the challenge period. I don't have access to indoor walking areas so that was a big barrier. And 2) I overestimated my ability to add exercise to my routine with the new baby. We have most other parts of the routine down pat that I guess I got cocky and thought I could squeeze 15-30 minutes in most days. Turns out, NO. I do want exercise in my routine so I will tweak the strategy and try some version of this goal again next challenge. [Life] Write something, anything, for 15 minutes every day. Gold Star if I write for 30 minutes in a day (can be broken into multiple sessions). Longest streak: 2 days in a row Total number of successful days this challenge: 7 Gold stars: 0 Thoughts: You might think this is a fail at first glance, because I had no real streaks to speak of and so few individual days of completing this activity. But, I am considering it not a complete fail, because of two things. First, I discovered a new way to write (letters to my daughter) and it's blossoming into this larger project that I aim to continue throughout her childhood, and that's just cool. Second, I wrote something substantive for 7 days this challenge, and that is 7 more days of writing than I have done in any four week period in well over two years. I will continue some version of this goal next challenge, not sure if it will be the same or if I will rewrite it to incorporate the other creative components of my now-longterm project for my daughter. One-off PowerUps: 5 of 6 possible The PowerUps were a pretty fun element, as they allowed me to get some instant gratification with a one-off win throughout the challenge. The only one I didn't accomplish was setting up auto-pay for my bills. This remains a task I have on my to-do list for this week. I am so tired of making late payments just due to sheet forgetfulness. The happiest PowerUp was going to our local Pride festival. When we found out about the schedule conflict, I was suuuuuper bummed that I would not be able to go. Then, at literally the last minute (okay, not quite but almost....less than 12 hours before!), my partner's schedule shifted and we were able to go! It was awesome. And, even more awesome, it was my bubbaboo's first Pride festival, and it was awesome to show her that experience, to marinate her in all the love, joy, and appreciation for all that makes us each unique and wonderful, as well as the somber respect for all who came and fought before, that you find at Pride. It was also important to me to begin to show her, even at 8 months, why we have Pride, who started the rallying cry, why it's so important, and how far we still have to go as a culture and a community. It really meant the world to me to be able to go this year. I want Pride month and our Pride festival to be so normal for her that she'll grow up saying, "Yeah....we've always gone to Pride, since before I can remember!" So, all in all, I think this was a pretty good outcome for my first challenge back in the Rebellion. I've got some plans in the works for the next challenge and I'm writing it up this evening.

More detailed update... So far doing really good with the veggies! I am taking advantage of the fresh and frozen (plain, unseasoned) veggies at my local grocery store and trying all kinds of new combinations. Also getting a kick out of giving new veggies to my daughter and watching her try them out. I counted all the foods she's tried since she started solids a month ago, and she's nearly hit 50 unique food items! The water goal is meeehhh. I did pretty good when I was sick because I was drinking so much water to try to flush the cold germs out. But before and after that, I have been struggling to remember to drink water. When I am at work, I get so in the zone that I forget to drink and sometimes I even forget to eat lunch. I keep my filled water bottle right in front of my face on my desk at work, but I guess I have been really zoning out when I'm trying to finish a project. I think I might need to actually set some alarms on my phone or something to prompt me. The walking goal is a big fat FAIL so far. I have had plenty of time and opportunity, but honestly the biggest hurdle this challenge has been BLACK FLIES. I live on an awesome road for walking, but I didn't consider black fly season when I wrote this goal. It has been so bad this year! We managed to get our garden planted in one day but it was absolutely miserable and I was covered in welts after, despite big spray. My partner and I have tried so many times to go outside for walks and playtime with the baby, but the black flies have driven us back indoors, even with max DEET bug repellant. The good news is that black fly season here is almost over (fingers crossed!). In another couple of weeks, they'll be gone and we'll be able to spend time outside again. The writing goal is almost a fail, except I have written a few times and those times have been awesome. I've been writing letters to my daughter before bed, and that's been kindof awesome. I have this idea of writing letters and stories for a book for her, to go with a bunch of our family recipes, and having it bound as a gift for her when she finally grows up and leaves home for her own adventures. I like writing in all forms, and this time I'm enjoying having a target audience who won't actually read this stuff for many years. I'm going to keep trying, and this goal will likely carry over into the next challenge (perhaps tweaked a bit). As far as PowerUps go, I am bummed that I have to cancel my plans to go to the Pride festival. I love Pride month and I was SO excited to take my baby girl to her first Pride event. But, unfortunately this year my partner has to work and I ended up having to make an appointment for the same day and time that I couldn't fit anywhere else in my schedule. Big fat boo. On the positive side though, I did successfully complete several other PowerUps and therapy is going really well with the new therapist. One more week to go, and we'll see where things end up.

I'm still here! Still diligently working on my streaks and tracking the days, just haven't had enough spare time to sit down and update my thread here. My partner, daughter, and I all got sick with a dumb summer cold that I'm still fighting, and aside from that every moment of my free time has been spent planning and prepping for my partner's epic 40th birthday party which took place this past Sunday. Now that the party's over I can breathe again! Except, no, I literally cannot because of my gunked up sinuses. But I can FIGURATIVELY breathe again. I will do a more detailed update in the next couple days. For now, I gotta go to bed so I can rest up for a 6 hour management meeting at work tomorrow. Huzzah! p.s. my little munchie-butt literally crawled 20 feet tonight to get to her daddy! She's been determined to get the hang of crawling and now she's so tickled with herself that she can control her position in space. Amazing (and hilarious!) to watch her!

Ha!! Yes! "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" was my answer too!

Oooh, fun! 1. Best non fiction book you have read recently? "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***" - it was the right book for me at the right time. 2. Favourite book you have read recently? Ready Player One -- I sadly had never heard of it before, but when I started it I could. not. stop. Hands done one of my top 5 reads ever. 3. The worst assigned reading you had in school? The Scarlet Letter. 4. Scariest thing you've ever read? I just finished a book about a mom whose child was abducted. "What She Knew." The idea of living a week of your life with a close loved one just...gone....is utterly terrifying to me. 5. What's the most ridiculous thing you believed as a child? That there were real alligators at the foot of my bed. Not under the bed, but literally up on the mattress with me, under the covers, at the foot of my bed. How these alligators managed to, I don't know, NOT BE VISIBLE LUMPS UNDER THE BLANKET, is beyond me, but hey. I was 6. 6. If you could have been born in another time period when would you want to be born and why? I would opt out and stay right here in this time period. I really like medicine, science, and watching Supernatural. I don't want to live in any time period that does not have penicillin, the ability to land a spacecraft on a comet, and Dean Winchester. 7. Which would you rather lose: your voice, your hearing or your sense of taste AND smell? My voice, for sure. I could still hear my loved ones and taste and smell food, and I could communicate still with sign language and writing. I had a professor once who lost his sense of taste and smell for 6 months due to a medication he was taking, and it was scary. He went into a deep depression and lost a ton of weight. Eventually the senses came back for him after he'd been off the meds for awhile, but he said it was unreal how much the inability to taste and smell anything impacted his whole life. 8. Which would be more horrifying: never seeing a sunny day again as long as you live, or never seeing stars again? Why? The stars -- because seeing them is seeing worlds that exist beyond earth. Sunny days are beautiful but to me the night sky is way, way more preferable to look at. 9. You wake up tomorrow, but it's not tomorrow, it's the first day after you finished high school (or whatever the equivalent would be in whatever country you live in) It's the same year it was when you finished basic schooling. You cannot do the same thing you have already done before, what do you think you would do? Go to a secular state university instead of a private religious one. Work through college instead of taking on a ton of student loans. Get a degree in entomology. Do bug science for work and become hobby beekeeper. Live in Northern California. Become a derby skater.

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I LITERALLY HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT SMOOTHIES. How is that even possible. Toasted tomato sammies sound yummy! Green cabbage I can do in small doses. You're right, it is more like broccoli and the leaves are thicker and not so wilty as other lettuce-y greens. My seedy bread was an acquired taste for sure but now I do enjoy it. I can't eat it all the time or it starts to taste and feel like carboard, but every now and again it's nice and earthy. I'm realizing as I'm typing that I'm not making it sound great...mmm cardboard and dirt....

Therapy update: YAY. This new therapist seems like a very good fit for the work I want to do. I always go with my gut in these situations and today my gut felt safe and respected, with no red flags, so I'm going to go ahead with this therapist.

At this point in my life, I really don't like sweet breakfast foods, so I am thinking it should be pretty easy to incorporate more veggies since I tend toward the savory anyway. I just sometimes get in a rut. I like anything with eggs or cheese. We eat a lot of omelets or scrambled eggs, and I will throw in whatever i have on hand for veggies. The only veggies I really truly struggle with are greens, either cold (like lettuce salads) or hot (like sauteed greens). The leafy texture of lettuce, spinach, etc. just really grosses me out. I eat grainy/seedy toast in the AM sometimes too, and I've been looking for some new things to put on top besides nut butter (NOT avocado -- I love avocado but I HATE avocado toast!). Any veggie-topped toast ideas? I welcome any and all suggestions!

Update: Heading into my first appointment with new therapist right now. I am exceedingly anxious about it. Wish me luck.

Feels a bit abrupt to drop back into the NF forums after being away so long, like :poof: I’m baaaack! I’m hanging out with the Adventurers for awhile (my previous couple years’ worth of challenges were done as a Ranger). It has been so long since I’ve been active, and my entire life/routine/body has changed so much in the past two years, that I have no idea what type of activity/lifestyle I’m into now. So, for now, I walk, I hike, I eat a mostly healthy diet that doesn’t fit into any particular category (mostly working on dialing down my sugar consumption without reawakening my disordered eating dragon who has been kept meekly at bay for 4 years now), and I work on my mental health (a host of other dragons). I’m a bit late in posting, but I started my challenge right on time on May 28. I’m easing back into the NF challenge arena with a simple challenge based on streaks. My challenge is intentionally gentle at this early stage. I am 6 months postpartum with my first (and only!) little, and it's been quite a ride so far. I am struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety as well as new variations of old body image issues. I am also pursuing a promotion (with a big increase in responsibility) at work, so I’m stretched to the point where it’s still manageable but I know I can’t add too much more to my plate. While I do have long-term goals for my weight and health markers, I am also working on being gentle with myself at this early stage as I ease back into the mechanisms of a NF challenge in my new postpartum reality. The Streaks: @=completed, X=missed, =gold star day [Nutrition] Eat a vegetable with two meals every day. Gold Star if I manage to find a way to make vegetables palatable for breakfast. Week 1 - @@@@@@ Week 2 - @@@X@@@ Week 3 -@@@@@@X Week 4 - @@@X@@@ [Health] Drink two of my big stainless water bottles full of water every day. Gold Star if I manage three full bottles in a day. Week 1 - XX@X@@X Week 2 - @@@XX@ Week 3 -XX@X@@@ Week 4 - XX@X@@X [Fitness] Walk for 15 minutes every day. Gold Star if I walk for 30 minutes in a day (can be broken into multiple walks). Week 1 - XX@XXX Week 2 - XXXXXXX Week 3 - XXXXXXX Week 4 - XXXXXXX [Life] Write something, anything, for 15 minutes every day. Gold Star if I write for 30 minutes in a day (can be broken into multiple sessions). Week 1 - XXX@@X Week 2 - XX@@XXX Week 3 - XXXXX@X Week 4 - XX@XX@X One-off PowerUps: =complete Call new therapist and make an appointment. Go to first therapy appointment and make a decision about whether or not to continue. Set up auto-pay for my June bills BEFORE the late notifications appear (a new problem for me due to new-mom fatigue and forgetfulness). Get the new plants put into the garden before they all die of dehydration in their little pots. Go to my local Pride festival in June. (happy day! Last minute schedule change meant we could go!) Spend legit hang-out time with a friend. My challenge retrospective post will tally number and length of streaks, and number of Gold Stars and PowerUps obtained. Will update the streaks in this post, and will share progress reports in the thread below.

Following! I've been working on a draft of my challenge and I noticed when I read yours that we have some similar thoughts and goals. Even 6 months into new-momhood, I'm still seeking balance, Becoming, and reconnection with my creative self. Best wishes in your challenge!

Just saying hi, I'm also a new mom. I'm 6 months in with my first (and only) baby and I found your thread by searching for anyone else talking about postpartum topics. I too am dealing with postpartum mood issues (more postpartum anxiety than depression in my case), and I too switched from breastfeeding to formula (and battled some pretty hefty feels and guilt about that decision). Anyhoo, I'm not new to NF but have been gone a LONG time, so I'm just reacquainting myself with the landscape of the forums. Thank you for sharing your postpartum experiences in your thread here, I always appreciate encountering other new moms going through similar things! #solidarity Edited to add: I just scrolled back up and noticed your remark about how the newborn demands won't last forever. YES. This is so true, and that promise was my lifeline for the newborn phase. At four months, I had my first thought of "Ohhhh....ok, this is getting good now." And it's even better now at 6 months. Hang in, mama!

This thread has been sleeping for 3 and a half years, wowzers, but just posting to say I'm still here, still in Maine, and wondering who else is around these days?

I am with you, friend, and could have written your respawn post nearly word-for-word myself. Here's to an honest respawn this time around!

Can't believe it's been six years since I first joined the Rebellion. Holy hannah. I spent a couple good years here as Sambie Wilkes in the beginning, made some great online friends, completed several challenges, lost a good amount of weight and built a good amount of strength. I was in a fresh-muscle derby skating league, I did homegrown Crossfit style workouts, my diet was tight, and I had a clear view of my future from here to the horizon. Then, in one single moment, I hit a hard patch in life and everything crumbled. Actually, that's not really fair to say. What actually happened is that I realized I was in a bad place in my personal life and had to burn it all to the ground (metaphorically-speaking) in order to get free and get mentally healthy. Making that decision was easy, and I have never looked back. But actually doing it --burning it all to the ground-- was really hard, and I took a break from a lot of things, including my online activities. Came back here briefly in 2015 as Winxy_Pistol but I wasn't ready. That respawn didn't take and I disappeared again. And now it's 2018, and I'm back, this time with the moniker Thilde which, for the first time, is just a variation of my real name. I have physical goals and mental health goals because, for me (as for many of us), they go hand in hand. I have learned through trial and many errors that I can't expect to improve my physical body without having a good strategy to maintain good mental health, and I can't have good mental health without also taking care of my body. I'm here to dig back into the work of being a healthy person. I don't have a plan yet, but I'm working on that. I will likely set up a Battle Log thread and go from there. This respawn post is me taking the first baby step.

My yoga teacher describes those final versions of the poses as "our aspiration of this pose," so we don't feel judged. In the rare moments when I can sneak a peek around the classroom, I see my classmates each doing their own version with their needed modifications (and they all look GREAT!). She is VERY good about showing many modifications for people who are anywhere on the spectrum of flexibility. She also acknowledges that even professional instructors like her have days where her body works differently or is less flexible than on other days. I definitely recommend trying a beginner class if you have a teacher or studio in your area. A good one will absolutely show good modifications for all fitness levels. If the instructor doesn't show modifications or acts like you should be able to touch your toes in one go, either the class is NOT for beginners or they aren't a very good teacher. There should never be any judgement of where a person is on the spectrum of yoga ability....if you are in a class and you feel judged or belittled because of your body's current level of ability, that's not a very good class. Also, if you have worry about people watching you during the class, don't. I didn't realize until I actually WENT to a yoga class that usually there is very little time or ability to look around and watch people. I am so focused on what my body is doing that I get through most of the class without even noticing anyone else around me. If you don't have a local class, I recommend DoYogaWithMe.com. I have done a lot of their beginner videos, and while they are challenging at times, they show good modifications. I am overweight and by no means flexible, and I find their yoga videos very good. They are all free to stream online, and they have a nice beginner's info section on their website. Good luck!

I absolutely blow bubbles as a deep breathing exercise! I keep bubbles in my work bag and another bottle in my glove box in my car, for just this purpose. I never heard of anyone else doing it! I love the deep-breathing aspect...very meditative. My work is very stressful (social work, on the road almost every day) and I have specific pull-over spots on my routes where I often stop between home visits to blow bubbles for 5-10 minutes. It really helps to bring my awareness back to my breath, and keep me grounded. Another breath-helper I do is singing loudly along to specific songs that require long-held notes....it forces me to pace my breathing and also to breathe more deeply than I do normally. And I mean, I really belt it out! When I feel like my breath has gotten short/shallow over the course of a day, I'll put on Adele's "Rolling in the Deep" or Alicia Keys' "Girl On Fire" and belt it out. It feels so good to expand my lungs and feel the breath moving more deeply in and out. I do this in my car a lot too between home visits.

I (previously known to the Rebel community as Sambie Wilkes) am back. It's been a year since I was last here, and more than that since I was last here to do serious work. So much has changed, I just don't even... I got divorced last year; that changes everything. One by one, all the things I thought I knew about myself disintegrated, until I was just a line drawing with no detail or substance. Then there was the grieving time when I did nothing but work, sleep, eat, and process my various losses. And now, a year later, I'm starting to pick up pieces of my identity out of the dust, one at a time, and see if they still fit. So far most things don't. Derby skating doesn't fit anymore. Running doesn't fit anymore. Buddhism and blogging don't fit in the same way; they've morphed into something totally unlike my previous experience of them. I'm a different person now and it's been a weird yet liberating process of starting over. I have a new relationship, a new job, a new house, a new cat. New friends, new family (on my partner's side). New hobbies like doing crosswords and hula-hooping and watching Supernatural, and new versions of old hobbies like hiking, birding, and cooking. New dreams and goals, like finally ditching social work for good and going back to school to pursue my lifelong dream of doing bee research. I have a tattoo now, you guys. And appointments scheduled to get two more. WHAT. I still love Keanu Reeves even though my profile picture here is now myself and no longer his beautiful face. I'm not jumping in to a challenge anytime soon. I'm still in the uncertain phase of figuring out what fits, which means I have gone back to the drawing board regarding modes of activity and dietary preferences. I don't know what my goals are yet. I still sometimes get disoriented by how different my whole world is but I believe in continuing to try and move forward toward feeling whole again. I'm getting there. It's good to be back. I am looking forward to reconnecting with old Rebel friends and making new ones. ~Winx

Thank you for all your kind words. I am doing okay. It was really really hard the first week, but it has gotten a bit easier. It is by no means easy but at least I am functioning. My workouts have struggled quite a bit but I have made up for it somewhat by really paying attention to my food intake. I have successfully broken my habit of eating junk from the bakery every time I go to get our weekly groceries. That was huge for me. I am planning to do a race in early May and another in June, and I am still doing Derby Lite. As our weather improves I will be able to take my workouts outside again; historically, being able to go outside for exercise has been highly correlated with me actually exercising. I'm doing the best I can with what I have. I am in the middle of a huge transition at work right now, as I am now in a supervisory role, and this is taking up a lot of my time. I am focusing on diet and sleep right now, and fitting in movement as much as I can. Once Derby Lite resumes (we are on a break between sessions right now) I will be back to doing a bit more movement each week as I start training in a more focused way for the upcoming races. Will post here as often as I can!

My 120lb Saint Bernard died this weekend. I am not okay. I no longer have any expectations for this challenge because so far this grief has smashed all my expectations for how I would feel when she was gone. It was sudden, unexpected, and very, very quick. She was there, and then she was gone. She was a part of me, and I am no longer whole. I feel her absence physically in my body, like a chunk of my flesh has been pulled away from me to leave behind a hole. Every day this grief suffocates me in some new way. I have no way to predict the end of this hell. There is a very real part of me that believes that if I yell and scream loud enough, it will somehow hit the Universal Reset Button, the Ctrl+Z of life, and I will be able to go back in time to before Bernie was gone, and none of this will happen, and I will still have the protector and friend I didn't know I wouldn't have today.