mom2sjm

Are you experiencing imposter syndrome?? I feel that way sometimes. I feel like I want to quit my job because I feel like I'm not really qualified... But I can't. I need the insurance. I'm a teacher. Then I was a parent. Seven years ago, I went back to work in a "classified role" - a teacher's assistant role. I wanted to quit that job because I was definitely overqualified, and I was frustrated. Now I'm going to be a teacher again - lead teacher. That's the imposter syndrome anxiety I'm experiencing currently - I've been out of this job for so long that I don't feel qualified to jump back into the role. Why do you want to quit your job? Why do you need to stay at your job? What is causing your anxiety??

I do something similar with my students at the beginning of the year. I check their stamina - how long can they silent read, how long can they write, etc. We reflect on what gets in the way. I like all your goals but find these ones really interesting. How about looking at what "recharges" your battery? How long does it last? Like for example - for me, taking a walk recharges my battery and that recharge usually lasts about an hour? I think keeping track of this data is an interesting idea. I may have to steal that idea

I love your titles for your goals - terrain mastery/spellbooks... so clever!! And these three goals really speak to me right now. I'm joining the flock that is following you!!

I love this! I'm having a little bit of "imposter syndrome" right now as I prepare to head back into the classroom after 20+ years as a SAHM. People think I should be relieved that I found a teaching job given my "extended leave" but instead this "good news" is spiking my anxiety and depression! I may steal some of these ideas for my journaling

Gotta get into shape for a new EDventure. I'll be heading back to the classroom as a lead teacher after 20+ years as a SAHM - teaching 1st grade this fall (23-24 school year)! There's no way I'll have the energy and positivity needed to do this job at my current weight. Additionally, I've been dealing poorly with a couple health issues that are related to my weight gain that I can't keep ignoring. For this challenge I am going to focus on cleaning up my diet, increasing my activity, and establishing daily "work" routines. 1. soda - replace soda. drink water w/caffeinated crystal lite packets instead. I tend to drink more alcohol and eat junky when I drink soda. 2. no drive thru. not only does it lead me to soda, it's just no good for me. keep a food log. where can I do better? 3. add a daily walk. I think walking is my best bet with my current shoulder pain situation. I will begin PT in a couple weeks to work on that so I will have HW exercises/stretches. daily walking is going to help me build my endurance to spend six hours a day with twenty 6-7 year olds... 4. go to the library and do my studies (at least 3x days M-F). when I do my studies for my MEd program at home, I get so distracted. establishing this routine will help me transition to going back to work - getting up, getting dressed, planning my day, etc. 5. chore journal. I think I need to keep a journal, otherwise I can go days without doing anything around the house. to get ready for going back to work I need to get back into the routine of planning my day. chores are very similar to teacher's planning and prep - things you need to keep on top of in the classroom. I'm going to start the challenge officially on the 7th but wanted to figure things out this week - journal style, food log, "work day" schedule, etc.

I blew it. Started out strong, positive momentum and then - boom, spring break with my mom which involved margaritas. Kinda a bummer because I was like 18 days into that streak!! Oh well. Moms handing you margaritas... what are you going to do?? Okay. Goals. Recap: 1. Back pain: I think it's more of a neck issue. I had some x-rays taken and it showed my neck is completely straight which is not normal. There is supposed to be a curve. I guess the muscles around my neck are so tight they have pushed my neck into a straight line and may be pinching some nerves. They gave me some nice meds but it was a pack - start out with 6 and work your way down to 1. Well, took the last one today and I can feel the pain creeping back into place. But not as intense which is good. Going to get the PT going I suppose. 2. Weight gain. Reduction of alcohol? Already addressed. Sodas, drive thrus, take out?? ARGH, not eliminated. not reduced. Tomorrow is a new day though. right??? It has to be because, here is the update on goal #3... 3. Body/mind: While I have been quite stressed with the pain and it clouding my ability to think coherently, somehow, I'm off to a good start in my one class. Yes, just one. Dropped the practicum, 68 pages of directions was too much. BUT, it's okay. I've got a placement for my practicum next trimester. This summer. I'm the 3-5 reading intervention teacher for the elementary summer school program. I'll have time to read 68 pages this summer. That's all good. ALSO. I got a job!! 1st grade teacher for the 23-24 school year. So while currently I may be an overweight daytime drinker, I am inches away from obtaining my master's degree and am gainfully employed. There is a week remaining in this challenge. Back to the drawing board I suspect is the best course of action here at this point. It hasn't been a total loss. Getting a job set up for next year relieves a lot of stress and anxiety. It was more than I expected to happen this early in my hunt.

End of the Week Check In: I know that I only started this challenge 3 days ago but it is the end of the week so here I am, checking in. Body 1: bought so many things to heat/ice the back spasm. Trying out a posture corrector brace today. Not sure when I'm going to start PT but I have been doing some stretches. Body 2: Day 8 no alcohol/no drive thru, day 4 no coke. Eating at home more - some packaged things for my sub jobs. I've been putting one caffeinated crystal lite packet into a 40 oz container of water in place of the coke. Lost some water weight because I'm down to 162.5. Mind/Spirit: I'm freaking out. Met with my advisor to go over the requirements for my practicum. 68 pages of directions!!! It's alot for one credit. And not having my own classroom right now puts me at a disadvantage. Then there is the other class - there is a big research paper and more. I am going to print out calendar/assignments for both classes and take a closer look at all the things today and tomorrow and make my game plan. Let the sub office know that I'm unavailable to sub the next ten weeks.

Self-sabotage? I am the queen. I keep messing up my quest to automate the healthy ways. And yet, I still want to try so... here I am, again. Late, and not really wanting to be here (because of my track record), but also kind of hopeful that maybe this round I can make something happen. Body 1: I am currently dealing with a painful back spasm. My doctor wants me to stretch and work on my posture. She also referred me to PT. Commitment to stretching and self-care is one of my body goals for this challenge. For accountability, journal my self-care/activities. Body 2: I am way, way overweight. I weigh more than I ever have. My doctor told me in February that I needed to lose 20 pounds, instead I've gained weight, so I really need to get on that. 3 pounds a month seems like something I can do if I stick with it. Reduce alcohol/soda intake. No drive-thru/takeout meals. For accountability I'll keep a food log - both in myfitnesspal and in my paper journal. Mind/Spirit: Find a balance between work (currently a substitute teacher) and my master's program (which I am in the final two trimesters of). Here are some initial thoughts: Spring trimester starts today so look over the course syllabus/schedules and then set boundaries with the sub office, be clear about my availability. Go for a 10+ minute walk daily. Follow my sleep schedule. Accountability - journal! starting weight: 163lbs goal weight: 160lbs

Precedent: More like NEED. My doctor informed me in January that I need to lose 20 pounds and has given me a six-month timeframe to do this. That's 3 pounds a month. So that's it! My one and done goal for this challenge. Plan: I'm still thinking about what the challenge will look like, but initially I'm going with a "one and done" plan. One soda instead of six. One beer instead of three. One episode of (fill in the blank) instead of ... the entire season (haha!). I'm hoping the reduction of calories as well as the reduction of "sedentary" activities through the one and done mentality will contribute to better habits and weight loss. I know at some point to lose weight beyond "water weight" and target fat loss, I'll need to do more than reduce calories. However, I'm going to set my goals week by week so that I don't fall into my normal pattern which is to think it all out and try do all the things!! For this challenge I'm going to reign it in and NOT do all the things. This may help me not burn out and actually complete the challenge! Starting weight: 160lbs Challenge goal: 157lbs

I usually am pretty hard on myself - you nailed it! Picking one thing to work on? Good advice! Going to focus on losing three pounds in February. I know it's not alot, but it's a baby step. I need to lose 20 pounds (doctor's order!) in 6 months so that's my one and done focus. Stay tuned

Not sure. I just got tired I think. School is alot. Husband is retiring for medical reasons so there is some pressure to secure a teaching job so we keep having really awesome insurance. I feel like maybe I got caught up in the new years resolution mode when really I only have the bandwidth for school. I do need to lose some weight though for my hernia. I had to schedule a follow up appointment with my doctor (in march) and she's going to be expecting progress so I will jump in on that next challenge with just that goal in mind. 3 pounds. a baby step...

Dang. I gave up on myself. *sighs*

Day 12/35 body better attitude after going whole30 adjacent. no coke in 7 days, no alcohol in 11 (and counting!). don't miss the alcohol. can't tell if I'm still craving coke. I'm putting in caffeinated crystal light mix into my water so maybe that is helping. mind been doing the headspaces sessions on stress management. joined inktober so I can do some drawings in my journal that I wouldn't normally do. maybe the prompts for the drawings will get me thinking about things in life and I can do some journaling. spirit back on track with the daily walking. I decided that I need to pick up a found object on my walk and then once my collection gets interesting, see if I can assemble something out of the lot. keeping on the lookout for found objects is helping me to stay present in the moment. other notes: picked up a NF accountability buddy for my MEd program - the plan is to check in with each other on how things are going with our programs as well as share something we did to "de-stress" that week. been working in an hour or so of organizing into my day. I need to be sure to have finished my day's class work though because I actually LOVE to organize and can go down the rabbit hole for sure if I'm not careful!

yeah. gonna change my "whole 30" plan to "quit eating shitty food" plan. it's not that I can't do it, I have done it before. three times actually, so I know I CAN do it. it turns out, I just don't want to. how come? I'm tired of feeling crummy when I eat something non-compliant. for example, last night my husband made his super yummy turkey chili. I had a bowl but didn't enjoy the experience as much as I should have because I was mad at myself for having a bowl in the first place (because of the beans, and probably now that I think about it, the tomato sauce). It's not like I've been doing terrible. Had one coke and then restarted. Had sauce poured all over my salmon fillet that I wasn't expecting because that's not the way I remember it being served (this was yesterday at IKEA) and then the chili last night. I could restart today and that was my intention and then I just felt really tired about it and I didn't want that to lead me down the path of all or nothing. So I'm stepping away from my judge-y whole30 brain and towards a kinder, gentler "eat less shitty food" brain. Things I'll keep from whole30 prep - do not step on the scale, go with whole30 approved products I've already purchased to avoid sneaky sugars, no alcohol, and no soda. Once upon a time I did the whole30 to figure out if I have any intolerance to foods. I don't. So I don't have anything to gain from doing a whole30, in terms of learning about foods I may have an intolerance for. There is ALOT to gain though - better sleep, less anxiety, less bloating, feeling better about food, etc. Can I accomplish this being whole30 adjacent? I guess we'll find out.

Day 5/35 Ugh. Already had to restart my whole30 goals. I made it two days before having a coke! It's my go-to drink when I'm stressed and yesterday, I was stressed out after a doctor's appointment. First time ever in my life where I was told that I needed to lose weight. A doctor's order!! I mean I KNOW I'm overweight but to be told a health issue I'm experiencing is weight related was a new experience for me. Not fun. But okay. It's an ORDER not just a wish on my part. So I gotta be serious now. body: no coke, no alcohol. ate all the whole foods today. wrote everything down in my journal. mind: today's anti-challenge talk was great, the focus was on our "inner critic" which I spent some quality time reflecting on in my journal. spirit: because of the doctor's order I'm aiming for a daily walk of 15 minutes followed immediately by 10 minutes walking while playing pokemon go. That way I'll walk at a minimum for 25 minutes. these are the goals for the rest of this week and then I'll reassess if I need to.