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Intro: At the end of January 2015, I weighed 255 lbs, hated myself, and constantly felt sick and tired. I started watching what I was eating, and then at the end of February took the plunge and joined a gym. I came across NF a week before the April 2015 6WC started. There are links to my introduction/origin story and my first eight challenges in my sig below. Feel free to go rummage around in there. I’ve made steady progress through the challenges over the last 12 months, with just the occasional setback. In October, I was invited (and thrilled) to become an Ambassador for the Adventurers guild. Over my first four challenges, I set a specific goal of getting properly fitted for a good quality, tailored, three-piece suit, and get a good photograph taken wearing it, because I was sick of being disgusted when I looked in the mirror or saw a photo of myself. Having achieved that goal, the focus is now on getting to a target weight of 180 and staying there. And now, the misadventures of a man experiencing a mid-life crisis and attempting to convince himself that he still has The Stuff… No, Def, it’s not me. This time. Introducing Larry; Larry Laffer. Back when I was still an immature, sniggering buffoon, I found smutty humour hilarious. Shocking, I know. Thankfully, I’ve outgrown such juvenilia. Let’s just imagine for a moment that I haven’t, though. This challenge is homage to my all-time favourite computer game character, Larry Laffer. In the late 80s and early 90s, Al Lowe’s Leisure Suit Larry series kept me glued to my Commodore Amiga for countless hours, giggling at innuendo-laden situations and innocently longing for pixelated nudity as Leisure Suit Larry went Looking for Love in Several Wrong PlacesTM. Disclaimer: There were a couple of terrible console arcade-style revivals in the early 2000s, but they were the equivalent of the American Pie movies which didn’t feature Jim, Finch and the real Stiffler, and should be avoided at all costs. I’ve plateau’d bigtime over the past couple of challenges, partially my own fault. While I’ve generally stayed within my calorie limits, and kept up the exercise schedule, there’s been a bit of general fitness/life malaise, and a constant battle to eat properly, rather than meeting my targets with bad calories. With that in mind, I’m going to change things up a little this time. I’m going to go a little lighter on the cross trainer, and get back to NF basics and lift more weights. I’m also trying something different with how I track certain things. Rather than daily totals, I’m trying out weekly pass/fails to determine my grades. Quest 1: “Buff Sheds Sweat in Search of Sexier Stuff” 5,000 calories burned on the cross trainer at my gym. Achievable Points on offer: +3 STA A – 5000+ (Points x 1) B – 4500-5000 (Points x 0.75) C – 4000-4500 (Points x 0.5) D – 3500-4000 (Points x 0.25) F – < 3500 (Fail. 0 Points.) Quest 2: “Buff Burpees to Boost his Bodaciously Bangin’ Bod” 500 burpees by the end of the challenge. Achievable Points on offer: +3 DEX A – 500+ (Points x 1) B – 450-500 (Points x 0.75) C – 400-450 (Points x 0.5) D – 350-400 (Points x 0.25) F – < 350 (Fail. 0 Points.) Quest 3: “Buff Pushes Pounds in Pursuit of Pulsating Pectorals” Scoring slightly differently this time around. A minimum of three weight training sessions each week. Each week with three sessions is a pass. Achievable Points on offer: +5 STR A – 5 Weeks (Points x 1) B – 4 Weeks (Points x 0.75) C – 3 Weeks (Points x 0.5) D – 2 Week (Points x 0.25) F – 0-1 Weeks (Fail. 0 Points.) Quest 4: “Buff Feasts Faithfully upon the Finest Foods” Log food, and stay within my calorie target. Rather than scoring it daily, it’s a weekly target of 11200 (8000 for short week 5). Each week under target is a pass. Achievable Points on offer: +2 WIS, +1 CHA A – 5 Weeks (Points x 1) B – 4 Weeks (Points x 0.75) C – 3 Weeks (Points x 0.5) D – 2 Week (Points x 0.25) F – 0-1 Weeks (Fail. 0 Points.) Quest 5: “Buff Hydrates His Hotness with H2OHMYGODINEEDTOPEEEEE” Hydrate like Bobby Boucher. Again, I’m scoring it weekly. Drink 21 litres of water per week (15 on week 5). Each week over target is a piss pass. Achievable Points on Offer: +1 CON A – 5 Weeks (Points x 1) B – 4 Weeks (Points x 0.75) C – 3 Weeks (Points x 0.5) D – 2 Week (Points x 0.25) F – 0-1 Weeks (Fail. 0 Points.)