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  1. Hello everyone, it's been a while. I hope you are all well. I should be well. I have a wonderful son (1,5 years old), a safe job, a nice little apartment, no financial worries. But I have no deep connection to other people, besides my little son and my mom. It's been two years since I did a therapy to learn to deal with social anxiety and I learned a lot. I notice when I come near the "the black hole". Two weeks ago I fell into it. I had the first panic attack in over a year. Because of the pandemic and the lockdown in Germany it is hard for me to get in touch with other people bes
  2. My heart pounded and I doggedly sucked in breath as I slowly climbed the hill trail, feeling my way over lumpy roots and unexpected mudholes through the intense darkness that hung heavily over the entire landscape. The plague still raged on many months after I had initially confined myself to my cottage, and now, a silent, creeping darkness of spirit had spread softly across the land in the wake of the deaths and losses of livelihood. Despair - it hung on people's bones like old cloaks and shadowed their faces like an early nightfall. The plague showed no sign of relenting, and the traditions
  3. Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” While this quote is widely attributed to Winston Churchill, there's some who argue it's true source. I'm off topic, please pay no heed to my ramblings. It's easy for me to lose track sometimes... Ok, ok all the time. I've been on this site for sometime. During that time I've never followed through any of my side quests to complete my end game quest. It's not entirely uncommon for me to begin anything and sprint right into the field of battle, if you will, and for some time I will excel, push through the
  4. Feels a bit abrupt to drop back into the NF forums after being away so long, like :poof: I’m baaaack! I’m hanging out with the Adventurers for awhile (my previous couple years’ worth of challenges were done as a Ranger). It has been so long since I’ve been active, and my entire life/routine/body has changed so much in the past two years, that I have no idea what type of activity/lifestyle I’m into now. So, for now, I walk, I hike, I eat a mostly healthy diet that doesn’t fit into any particular category (mostly working on dialing down my sugar consumption without reawakening my disordered
  5. THE SILVER ARCHER: BOOK II Chapter 5: Solo Mission The theme of this month's challenge is really about self-care. I feel like I've been doing a lot of that lately and I'm more than ready to get back to butt-kicking, but as the sun rises on Week One, I will be in a van driving ten hours away from the only hometown I've ever known, preparing to spend three months working an incredibly high-stakes internship, living with two strangers (and their cats!), learning the rhythm of a metropolitan region, and basically upending every imaginable portion of my currently quiet,
  6. Hey all! A week late but had a desire to do a challenge. Kind of went MIA when stuff wasn't quite working for this site and me. Personal issues, that ended up leading me to depression in quite a dark place. Bright side I'm working on it, but everyday stuff is still hard even though I can plan 6 months ahead of myself. I'm hoping this challenge shows some daily light to where the conflict is coming from underneath everything. Along with wrapping my head around, having a schedule doesn't make things boring it just adds a little control. Bright side- I'm still trying
  7. shy

    Shy Takes A Second

    I can't believe I'm still here!! Wow! I didn't give up, I completed my first challenge, and I'm actually proud of myself! So.. hey! I'm Dawn aka Shy.. I'm super shy. My first challenge goals were... Exercise every single day. (Week two of January and I've managed this since the 3rd. W00t.) Drink more water. Eliminate Caffeine. Work up the courage to go for a walk or go to the apartment gym. (Super scary for cowardly me!) Here are my Feb-Mar goals.... Main Goal I should say "lose all this excess weight" bu
  8. Hello all, my name is Fluffy_Shark (or Fluffy for short) and this is probably my third time respawning. I am 22 years old. I struggle with depression and anxiety and currently go to school full-time while working part-time. Lately my stress has been through the roof and I've resorted to eating copious amounts of sugar, and drowning myself in the internet, all trying to escape from my stressful world. I have never liked how I look and I have always felt weak and unfit. I haven't worked out in nearly 4 months and I'm sick and tired of it. I have so many things I want to accomplish in life but I
  9. spooky

    spooky is a cat

    where's the lie though? actual goal of this challenge: treat myself like my cats. when my cats do something wrong or make a mistake i don't judge them. i treat them with kindness and deal with the results of whatever just happened. so...the same goes for me. also, taking things one at a time. cats aren't stressing about things that may or may not happen. they just do whatever is in front of them I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO CHANGE THIS CHALLENGE AS IT IS 12:40 AM. but i think the sentiment is right. measurable ways of doing this...is one of tomorrow's goals.
  10. It's been awhile since I've posted here, and of course I haven't done much to change my physique or anything else for that matter. But, that is ok, I forgive myself that I have severely slacked in my training both physically and mentally. I suffer from depression and anxiety, and due to that I have hardly any motivation to do much of anything save what I barely have to do scrape by to live. So, daily I'll do a post about what I've accomplished for the day and I'll try to share my Cognitive Behavioral Therapy homeworks for the day with you all. Today, I've managed to
  11. Bye Weeks Challenge Goals Quest One - Try something new Cooking! I love cooking and am always looking for new things to try so this goal is 1 new recipe per week. Quest Two - Mini fitness goal Changed to one extra day of weight training. So Weights 2x a week: Tuesday and Sunday Quest Three - Unadulterated joy Reading for pleasure. I don't do this regularly enough . It always makes my day better so 30 minutes of reading per day. Continuing with meditation also falls under this goal. Life Quest: Finish Papers before June 3
  12. Hello! I'm Severine. I've been here for just over a year. I've had both successes and failures, and lately I've started to feel like they're cancelling each other out and the result is stagnation. It's why I took last challenge off and just did a battle log instead: I was messing up most of the challenges in a repeating pattern, stuck in a rut. I'm basically working on all the same fitness/health stuff I was working on last year. I don't like it and it's frustrating. And let me be honest: the problem is not lack of knowledge. The problem is not lack of time or equipment. The problem is follow-
  13. Yesterday I read an article by a woman who made it her goal to do one anxiety-provoking activity every day for a year. She said this helped her overcome many fears at a gradual pace. When I read this, something in my brain went "click." I thought of that worn old adage, "Do one thing every day that scares you," but that's very vague, and makes me think of things like jetting off to Thailand or walking a rope and board suspension bridge. Not super applicable to my daily existence. But anxiety provoking stuff? Hell, I live in a world FULL of that. I do not live in aw
  14. In almost exactly eight weeks I'm going to be running my first OCR: the New England Warrior Dash in CT. Right now I am pretty damn unfit, and I want to use these eight weeks to improve my fitness and endurance as much as I can. I love the idea of OCRs and I hope this will be the first of many. It's okay if I don't do objectively well the first time; what will make me proud is knowing that I prepared as well as I could and did my best on race day. Half the idea behind doing this OCR is it's something I've dreamed of doing, and I'm hoping it'll give me an added push of motivation to
  15. This is the beginning of my journey, and I need your help. My name is Lindley. I am an ICU nurse with a really shitty night schedule. I am 5'1" and the heaviest I have ever been at 163 pounds. I was in a very unhealthy five year relationship, had two sons with the individual, and am now a single mom. I struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder, depression, anxiety, binge/purge, and PTSD. Now for the thing that sent me over the edge... June 12, 2016, I woke up and discovered my 5 week old son (Ronin August) had died from SIDS during a nap. Ne
  16. ** Dear newbs: As of right now it seems we don't have a guild leader. I've been here for over 3 years so if you have questions feel free to ask me. You can ask here, PM me, @ tag me in another thread, or post in the general chat thread. Please feel free just to drop in and say hi too. My threads tend to move fast because I'm friends with crazy people, but we're the good crazy. ** Right-o. Changed my title because I decided to take this challenge in a different direction. So the American Psychological Association's definition of resilience: Resilience is the process of
  17. You know when there's something scary that you rationally you know you should do, but emotionally you want to procrastinate it or avoid it: Maybe it's going into a new environment like a gym for the first time where you worry you'll feel out-of-place and unwelcome... Maybe it's sending that email or speaking to that person about something important... Maybe it's wearing a new outfit or style and you're apprehensive of how people will react... You might have heard Steve Kamb (and others on this forum) suggesting a neat solution to this: work up 20 seconds of courage
  18. The long-awaited moment has arrived: it's time for the CAT TAKEOVER challenge! A bunch of forum veterans banded together and decided we would all do cat-themed challenges this time. If you want to join, please do! Anyone can pepper their thread with copious numbers of cat gifs! And who can deny that cats are worth emulating?? They're good at stretching, eating well, and getting enough sleep. They've got athleticism, grace, and poise. They've got high self esteem on lockdown and they don't let anyone tell them what to do. When they want something, they go after it. "I daresay,
  19. TW: depression, anxiety, hopelessness What. An. Incredibly. Shitty. Day. Let me just start by saying that I have depression and anxiety. It's relatively mild, in fact the official term for my level of depression as explained to me by my doctor and therapist is "sadness". It seems to be mostly manageable and I have good days and bad ones. Most of my bad days correlate with work. I really do not like my job. I work in a retail store in a mall, we sell mostly household items. It is a mindbogglingly boring job that mostly involves dusting and human communicat
  20. Experience Tranquility! Why hello, Challenge #2! I'm glad that I have the challenge weeks on my calendar because it keeps me going! My first challenge of the year died off at the end. I was still (sort of?) tracking most of my food choices, but I could tell that I was only giving 50% of the effort. I realized that I don't really like putting heavy time constraints on myself. Having a routine is one thing, and something I am going to be working on, but I don't like doing things in time blocks. I am more of a "Make a List and Do each of the things as the
  21. Welp. I was going to wait until the 5th to post this because that's my 3-year Nerdiversary but patience has never been a thing for me. My life is sort of imploding right now, so simple goals are the way to go. Ideally these should all be done every day but like last challenge, I'm not setting a hard goal in terms of how often I have to meet them. I go all-or-nothing way too easily. So instead I've tightened it up and outlined when or how long to do these things because they're harder to put off. I'm still going to go the route of reminding myself that I'll feel better doing any or
  22. Balance Restore Energize Accomplish Transform Humor Engage I really love how much this has helped people, and I'm going to continue carrying it on! Shaar has been keeping this alive, and I think it has really helped others during past challenges. Even if they weren't participating in a challenge, I think people have found this to just be a great place to let things out when they need a sounding board. Fitness is just as much mental health as it is physical health. Just as we struggle with hurdles during our exercise routines and diets, we m
  23. *peeks out from behind a corner* Oh hello there. It's been a while. Things are crazy, but I don't know, driving home tonight in terrible visibility while sheets of rain were pelting my windshield made me think. Maybe it was the hydroplaning. One thing I haven't been completely honest about was a relapse into my eating disorder. I've mentioned it at points as a past thing but it's been very much a present thing as of the past ~4 months. My therapist knows, we're working on it and I'm currently maintaining a weight that is both too low a
  24. I've been consistently working out for about 3 or 4 months now. I've been able to really push myself and have made good progress that I'm proud of. I know that I should be eating more protein, more veggies, less carbs. But I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder that is especially bad in the evening, to the point where I'm driven to eat bad food to cope, this anxiety also makes me unable to sleep and I end up being too tired to make healthy meals myself and often choose what's convenient. I'm on a daily medication for my anxiety but it's still been tough to cope with and it's making kee
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