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  1. My bard challenge ended with more of a whimper than a bang, but we're going to continue this tour of D&D classes with the barbarian, though my fellow Critical Role fans no doubt had that figured out based on my title. So to start with the obvious, my first goal this challenge is to RAGE By which I mean, work out. I'm on a pretty good string of consistent workouts, and I'm happy with how it's going. I'm going to mostly stick with my 5x5 plan from last challenge, except I'm going to turn it down to a 3x5 plan, with the exception of my chin ups, which I'm still kind of experimenting with. For now I think I'm going to alternate 5x3 with 5xAMAP on those. The plan is 2-3 workouts per week. My main reason for adjusting my sets is to make my workouts a little shorter, so that as I add weight I can give more rest time without adding time to the workout as a whole. I did some reading that indicated that 80% of the gains come from the first 3 sets, so I'm not giving up that much, and hopefully it will aid in recovery that can then be put towards my next goal: FAST MOVEMENT I want to get back into running this year, and plan to complete at least one 5k. I've neglected my cardio for a couple of years at this point, so for now I'm just going to aim to get my heartrate up three times a week with the new bike trainer I just bought (it's not actually new, got it on Facebook marketplace, which if you'll recall is also where my weights came from. As much as I dislike Facebook as a whole and haven't posted anything on there in years, I'm becoming more and more fond of the marketplace portion of it.) The goal for zero week is just to get the thing set up. TOTEM WARRIOR - WOLF My subclass for this challenge will be Path of the Totem Warrior. I've been very conscientious about not overstepping when it comes to my dad's dog, but it does kind of bother me that he isn't more intentional about training her. He does spend a lot of time with her, but is just kind of counting on her to pick things up through osmosis. Which has worked surprisingly well, actually. She is, all in all, a very good dog. But I can't take her barking much more. I've done a bit of digging into how to address that, and my preferred strategy is to teach her to speak, which then sets up a foundation for teaching her not to speak. It worked well for the last dog we had, so it's worth trying again. The goal here is to work with her on it every day, even if it's just a minute or two. For zero week, though, I'm just working on picking up some training treats to use with her. UNARMORED DEFENSE Brene Brown's new book Atlas of the Heart has been on my TBR since it came out, and my Enneagram work last challenge indicated that my type tends to not be in touch with my emotions (which I've definitely gotten better at, but yeah, they have a point there) so I'm going to continue the challenging but cathartic work of drilling down into my messy inner stuff and keep sorting it out as best I can. For zero week, my goal is just to get it checked out of the library.
  2. Happy New Year, Rebels! I will be challenging myself to give attention to the four aspects of my own activities in the same way that my story needs to have some balanced perspective of its four protagonists. Barbarian/Ekaterina: ⚡🌩🌥☀ I need to be doing my bodyweight exercises because I want to continue improving my strength before the time comes for my efforts to be rewarded with my original long-term goal of buying a bike. Ranger/Varsha: 🌳🌿🌱🍃 I need to keep a daily activity level going as well so it's not as hard to get up and do my exercises on my body weight exercise days. I know I don't want to walk, but maybe I can do more GMB movement exercises to improve my mobility. Wizard/Paige: 📚📕📖📋 I have written a book that must undergo my own scrutiny and revision before it's ready for sharing with outsiders for spotting problems I'm too close to see. I want to use the first long weekend to read it for the first time like a reader who's seen nothing but a back-cover synopsis. Fingers crossed that I'll find a lot to love about it. 🤞 Artificer/Alidavai: 🛠🔧🔨📏 I have crafts that are partly done, and I want to give them time and attention in order to make progress and potentially finish them. This includes the rainbow scarf which now has about 75-80% of a skein left to add, the next bite of my pixel quilt for which I need to prepare the four nibbles' pieces, a drawing of Ekaterina that's been waiting nearly three months for me to continue coloring it, and a Vox Machina puzzle I got for Cidran that I suggested we should do together the next time the table gets cleared. I want to pick up one of these tasks every night instead of getting stuck on my phone. I've got four emojis for each so I can attribute a rating of 0%, 50%, 100%, and 110% when I go above and beyond. (Why are the barbarian's emojis stormy weather? Because she's a storm aura barbarian! 😃) That sums up my goals for this challenge. I'm excited about this, and hope my guild choices inspire others I've seen use these five-week challenges for non-athletic goals. 😉 Thanks for your company and support in this coming year! Sincerely, Maerad
  3. 'Hither came Rurik Harrgath, wild-bearded and sullen-eyed, axe in hand; a ranger, a reaver, a slayer; with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the wild places of the world under his booted feet...' ~ From the Saga of Harrgath. 'The gods themselves have tried to betray me, slay me even. I have broken daemons and fought deranged wizards and slain beasts and monsters that would tear apart legions of your gold-armored champions. I have fallen from skies amidst fire and battled through the depths of the earth for days at a time. I have been flung into an ocean of madness and filth and clawed my way out. The boy knows nothing of fear, because these realms know nothing of it. I spit on your idea of fear.' ~ Gotrek Gurnisson to Malaneth Witchblade. Behold the Slayer! Tattoos, elaborate braids, kilts, and heavy boots mandatory from here on out. Challenge Inspiration: I am returned once more, now as Harrgath the Brazen Warlord, the Bronze Bull, the barbarian who would be a minotaur if the Fates had but allowed it. In mulling over whether or not I should bother with a challenge this round, I have been deep in a few new fictional fantasy reads during my downtime, plus a new Warcraft character I am particularly enjoying, had me returning to my NF roots entirely by accident. When I first joined the forums, my character was a raging Barbarian Ranger who really wanted a kilt. Now that workman's kilt has arrived (and thankfully so have replacement work boots) and I'm inadvertently living the dream I had envisioned back as early as 2014. I even came across this wish from an old challenge: But we are rarely who we thought we'd become in elder days. Working 6-7 days of hard labor around the house, getting in workouts has been the last thing on my mind and that hasn't been super helpful for my co-habitant in the Stronghold around here. I've been wanting to try some strongman-style workouts but holding off until the garage is reroofed and the overhead door functions again, even going so far as wishing for a 'log' bar for my birthday next month. But even with the daily labors, I want to do something that feels workouty - maybe even something we could share! And so I realized that we have my sledgehammer, and enough automotive tires for three or four vehicles behind the garage now I have a workout option fitting for the greatest barbarian of an age! [FURY]: Any worthy death will not be an easy one, and going quietly isn’t in your nature; only by testing your might against the most dreadful denizens of the Old World can you hope to regain your honor through a worthy death. Complete two sledgehammer/home/gym workouts through the week, along with 3+ days of hard labor. [BLOODTHIRST]: There's no use sitting back and licking your wounds; want your health back? Go out there and kill for it! Violence breeds vitality, thus keep to the Guidelines: daily tracking using MacroFactor with a proviso to add extra veggies with every meal. [INEVITABLE DOOM]: Come Hell or high water, an oath-sworn barbarian knows his doom could be the next worthy foe, and just like that foe, the need to stretch is inevitable. Complete some form of daily stretching or rehabilitative movement like yoga. Additionally, I would like to harken back an earlier challenge idea I never followed through on; introducing a barbarian king or warrior poet of particular driving inspiration each week and talk about how that aids me in guiding the thread of my journey herein. May we reclaim what is ours through Blood and Fury!
  4. Hey fellow rebels, so I typed in "r" into the tag list while thinking about which tags do apply and it gave me the option to add druid, and I went straight to "naaaahhhh I'm not a druid!" but then I kept thinking about it, and maybe that knee-jerk reaction is old info? I have been a Ranger from the very first challenge way back years and years ago. I added the barbarian when I followed my crush and did meet the barbell for the first time and it was love at first sight. But in the last... year - year and a half - my life changed so very much. And I have gotten a garden allotment and I tasked myself with taking good care of this piece of land. So maybe Druid, as in steward of the land, is a thing I'll endeavour to incorporate more actively and more consciously into my life. Yes, there's the pandemic, but everyone has to deal with that. But my life changed, a lot, and not (just) because of the pandemic. My husband and I did separate in June 2019, first family vacation EVER July 2019 camping with the kids, just the 3 of us for 5 days. I started at a new job and joined a gym in September 2019. Spend days and days on the ice rink with the kids January 2020, started looking for a garden February/March 2020, the world started to go mad in March, I signed a lease for a garden allotment in April/May 2020. My garden. It's not all that has happened, obviously, and people deal with all kinds of shit everywhere, but I feel like my desire to connect with the land, spend time with my kids outside yet not around random people... that's a thing. The tendency to not go outside, because out there be monsters, it's not healthy, the goal for this coming year, and I am potentially heavily applying the Never Not Twice In A Row rule, I want to be in the garden with my kids every day from March to September (at least). We've spent the entire last week cleaning up the shrubbery and trees and did the cuts and things, we have a lot of wooden things lying in a huge pile on the yard now, but we'll cut the smaller stuff down in the next weeks and sort the thicker branches away after that. I have seeds in germination module trays over-taking my kitchen, waiting for spring to come, and it Will come. I'm practicing my habits. Some need more work, a lot more work, quite a few actually fit quite well already. This month I want to practice doing shit when it pops up on my radar, not carry to do's until I break under the stress. Keep habits going. Keep mental health and weight under control, in that order. Maybe find a place to intern for a few days a week or in the summer or whatnot to learn basket weaving... Other adventures. Happy Spring Returning Katrin a.k.a. Morag
  5. Hi, my name is Katrin, I go by Morag on the internet. I'm 37yo, single mum of a 17 yo and a 10 yo boy from the north of Germany. I'm a gazillion kg overweight, I started my journey April 6th, 2015, I came straight here, and even during that first newbie challenge I joined the Rangers and have been a ranger ever since, though admittedly in 2019 and 2020 I've been more offsite than on. Even though I have been flailing about lately... I've had a hell of a ride so far: ran a very slow but steady 6km mudrun with friends from Aus and NL, got licensed to be trainer for fitness classes in fitness club, fell in love with the idea of aerial silks, did nothing about that, played some hobby volleyball, got another license, had to stop dancing oriental belly dance because studio was closed, trained elderly in a nursing home for fall prevention amoung other things, had to stop being a trainer, picked up a barbell after two years of lusting after that kind of strength work, seperated from the husband, had first family vacation ever, started a new job, started learning Korean, got a garden allotment, shovelled 6m³ of compost... then covid hit, work in a nursing home environment isn't particularly fun these days. It could be worse, but work is hard. I'm heavier and unhealthier than I have ever been, I'm more stressed and coping less well than ever before. But I must say: I'm actually so very curious about this next stretch of road through my life... I actually typed this out yesterday, but forgot to post it. So here we go: new year's plans: keep adjusting the plan, keep figuring out where I'm headed. 2021 □ Loose some weight (yeah I have numbers and plans how to get there, I'm just not going into detail here right now, maybe at a later time) □ Be someine who gets her mental health under control: ◇ go to bed by 2230 - never later twice in a row ◇ daily morning lightlamp and vitamin D ◇ do some moving around every single day be a person who puts on her shoes and leaves the house ◇ get shit done - stuff on my desk and other things that pop up □ Be a person who stacks her environment in her favor, makes her goals as easy as can be and masters the entry points first □ Be a person who is connected to the land and grows her and her family's own food year round and last but by far not least: □ Be a person who leads her children to become good men by showing them not telling them. Be the mom they can talk to but also who's example they can follow. So far my first braindump of the year. I intend to build a levels based plan for all skills I want to learn, but I must admit it's too much cerebral power needed for me today. I know I need to formulate what I want to achieve, please be patient with me.
  6. Heya folks, what a year, innit? So I am cleaning up my act: Adulting... More adulting... Followed by some habit practices, a.k.a. doing the things that I know work: eat better, start where you are, don't beat yourself up about where you think you should be, knock those things off my desk one after the other, keep breathing, don't overexert, keep those batteries charged and recharging. I have too much on my plate figuratively as well as literally. I need a proper List of All Teh Tinkz followed by some fancy footwork and some accurate urgency/importance priority determination. I'll keep you posted. There will be food porn, plant porn, amateur interior designer snippets, Korean Language studies enthusiasm and potentially even garden things... there will also most likely be SingleMomOfATeenageBoyRants... amoung other things. Stay tuned.
  7. Ok, so here's the deal: The world has gone mad and life doesn't give a flying fuck, it goes on, unless it doesn't, and that's shitty enough, for so many people and their loved ones right now. So we're gonna use what we have when we have it, and ranger the hell out of this situation, corona pandemic be damned. Hi, I'm Katrin, Morag on the internet most days now. I'm 36yo, ~169cm, 100kg. I'm a single mom of two beautiful angel boys ages 16 and 9, yeah they drive me up the walls most days, and no, since I started working this last September they have plugged their ears and pretend they don't hear anything I say,especially if I am not at home like I was for the last almost 15 years. We live in northern Germany, in Kiel, Schleswig-Holstein to be precise, and yes my still-husband and co-parent does live 25 min walk from our home. So, apart from corona induced isolation, he is a semi-active part of our lives even though he moved out last summer. He works in the train station book shop, which is open even now. I work on a dementia ward, and yes, I am using "ward" loosely here. I love lifting barbells. But for now fitness centers are closed down as so much of public life is. For now my almost cured back issues have blossomed to real issues, thanks to me not doing my exercises here at home. So I think I should get over myself already and do the work. That's on my list. I am off work this entire break week, which is nice. I have a therapy session tomorrow morning just before 10, need to buy hand repair cream from the pharmacist, and grab a few asian market supplies then cycle home, food delivery between 2 and 4 p.m., I believe and apart from that: isolation until Sunday. Plus get the kids to do their school work and chores, practice routines. And work Monday, Tuesday and Saturday Sunday next week. That's the plan. Very rambly unsorted plan, but still my plan. For now: isolation and parenting. Break week here we come.
  8. So, @Jarric I blame you. Let's see how much awesome I can summon in 12 days, because that is how much challenge there is left over and that is what I am dealing with. I did the sleep deprivation mastery class two frikkin nights in a row, so I am essentially running on fumes atm. What does that mean for my challenge? Yeah: BEDTIME ROUTINE is priority 1 and because of the short challenge duration, I think HOW CAN I BEST SERVE MY FUTURE SELF - SET HER UP FOR WIN? That's my 2nd priority. Service. wwmfstmfm? = what whould my future self thank me for most? Live in service of that Katrin, the one that rocks hard, just for 12 days, see what can happen in 12 days. So I will take a nap now, because working on less than 4h of sleep is a bad idea, then hit the deck running (I love that expression). Therapy, then work, then home, read on the bus home, pack gym bag, go straight to bed afterwards, catch necessary sleep, get up rested, go follow the plan in the gym, make appointment for kid (and myself too) (?), write my homework sentences about which day of the week I do what activity where 월화수목금토일, go to class prepaired, cuddle with my boys before bed, no screens. Reboot the evening thing: put out clothes, brush teeth and hair earlier, put out hotspot, so I have an actual evening, possibly with the kids, enjoy that time - screen free. As a break, while walking places or on the bus or stuff: look up what vinyl players cost and dream about buying one for myself earlier than midyear. Look up if I can find the vinyl my friend can't find for himself in one of the record stores around here, would make awesome gift. So the plan, nap now, then shower and morning thing. Hit the deck running
  9. So 2020, eh? This is exciting! I can already kind of see the light returning to the world. The dark of the year is behind us. And as someone who has been doing kind of okay, managing s.a.d it still fills me with joy. I am 36 yo female from the north of Germany, Katrin irl, going by the handle Morag or Katrin Morag most everywhere online. I weigh 100kg, which is way too much. And I don't much like how bloated and stuff I feel. On a less depressing note: I did really well throughout the holiday season and into the new year. I am leaving break week with two more staple meals in my quiver, leaving me at a glorious all-time high of two. Yeah, I know, but the last 3 challenges were obviously worth it, because I now HAVE these 2 meals and am thinking about what else I like to eat regularly. One rice concoction is definitely needed, because the mushroom porridge I cooked in the past is kind of difficult because it has more than one portion (which is good, because it's a comfort food I sometimes prepair when I feel a cold come on or shark week or something, but calculating portion size is iffy with that one). Anyway so far so good. I am taking a weekly afternoon class of Korean, which is challenging and therefore good. I learned a lot but there is so much to learn still. The kids both need support for school work. Being a single mum, yes we co-parent but still, it falls onto my plate. And I don't mind that much, sometimes we are a bit overwhelmed, the boys and I. Luckily usually it's just one of us at a time, so it all works out. I have a twinge in my lower back / hip and it's keeping me out of the gym, which pisses me off, because of the lack of endorphins, plus I LOVE lifting, but I have called the physical therapy office and I may be able to get started on fixing it as early as next week. So progress. Phone call on Monday will tell. I need to implement a self-reflection habit of some sort, due to my therapist sending me out into the world on my own soon. Which is exciting, but also scary. So taking care of the things that pop up, when they pop up or scheduling them. All in an effort to keep stress levels managable. And I am kind of happy to not be in the gym that first half of January. But I miss the barbell. So theme? I wish I had an idea. Warning lable: there will be rambling wall posts, there will be food porn, there will be both hype and whine. And I am hoping for weight going down. Pain going away. Morag returning to the bar.
  10. Heya, nerds My name is Katrin, I go by Morag on various internet platforms. I am 36 years old now, single mum now (since june this year) of two beautiful boys (9 and soon to be 16). I am located in the real north of Germany. I work with demented elderly (since Sept this year), I started lifting barbells (dito), but the later makes my hip/something twinge painfully, so I need form adjustments at the very least. It hurts so much that I haven't been to the gym in weeks. I am 1,7m tall with just under 100kg for weight, which is ridiculously too heavy. Both my kids have their birthdays in December, a life choice I am still kind of unhappy about, and kind of not. You know? I just cast on a hat for myself in black fluffy yarn, something I had sworn to myself NEVEREVEREVER do again, but sadly Hufflepuff is black and yellow, and so is my gorgeous xtra-warm-xtra-long skarf, so there. I am taking an evening class of beginner Korean, which is fun and challenging and one of the few things keeping me sane. My therapist of several months brought up the BTW Therapy Is Almost Over convo, which is kind of scary and kind of exciting. I struggle with nutrition most of all. Consistently making decent enough choices (or these days it's more of an At All) and finding and sticking to humane portion sizes. I feel like my food choices are limiting where I am and where I'm headed in a VERY dramatic way. But calorie restriction is a stressor I have avoided for a while now, and consciously too. Separation has been a bitch even though it was kind of a mutual thing. This christmas season I am nesting. I will buy a tree one of these days, for the first time in possibly 10 years, we already have some decorations up. We will not celebrate xmas at my in-laws house for the first time in years and years. I made a memory board with maps and fotos and things. And I will keep adding to that. Most of all I have to keep keeping my stress levels in check. I am the whack'a'mole queen for a reason. And it would be hell'a nice if my physique reflected how much better I am all over, so I am thinking about what to do regarding food. Because I liked myself at under 90kg... I looked and felt amazing... I remember it being hard work, getting there: HIIT once a week, focused training to fix my abysmal posture (not sure how much of that bad stuff has come back, since my hip is acting up a lot lately), counting calories, weighing EVERYTHING that went on my plate, 500-1000kcal deficit (starting out with too much, and learning about healthy deficits lateron). Eating a limited number of veggies, still not being a fan of the things I ate too much of back then... So yeah, I want to restrict my eating, get that all sorted out, but on the other hand I do not want to fuck up my mental health with going down that rabbit hole of super-über-perfection. I also feel though, that I am paralyzing myself by over-analyzing here... so that's awesome! A coworker is sick, so instead of 4 days off next week I work every day but one. But then I have Wednesday through Chrismas off, which is nice. Plus all the extra hours bring extra money too, so that's potentially nice (unless they tell me I should take extra days off, that's not cool) plusplus it's short notice extra hours, so I get a bit more money per hour too, it's not a lot, but some months it's those small things... I bought myself a couple of japanese eggplants (I think. They are long and slender, but I didn't ask, so they may be from somewhere else), which I've never seen outside of my Korean cookbook before. So I am looking forward to soy marinated eggplant 가지 나무 (?) Gaji Namu without substituting the main ingredient. Maybe. Plus today is my 9yo son's bday party, which he is super excited about. We'll see how it goes. Plus knitting black yarn... what was I thinking?! Enough of my ramblings. Thanks go to @Terra, for messaging me privately and pushing me to make a challenge. Sorry, my friend, for being so late. I'm here now.
  11. I started back in the gym a few weeks ago now that I've gotten mostly moved back and settled into my new job on night shift. Last year I ran Strong Lifts and while I enjoyed it I decided to try Wendler 5/3/1 this time around. My work schedule is a 4 day on 2 day off work week which suits Wendler's 4 day lifting template. Prior to starting I did max testing using the Epley calculator. My 1 Rep Max was estimated as: Military press: 175 Deadlift: 330 Bench: 210 Back Squat: 325 Weeks 1 and 2 I used the "Big and Dumb" assistance template to get more reps under the bar for the main lifts. For week 3 I'm doing "Joker Sets" which takes the max training weight for the day and adds a 5% increase to the weight for singles. Week 4 is deload, I probably won't do any assistance work so I can rest up for the next cycle. Starting next cycle I will begin C25K on my non lower body days and once I get moved to my permanent residence will likely move that to the non lower body days and 1st day off. The score listed is the reps completed on the last set and the joker sets the number is the weight of the last set I completed. Here is my log for the last 3 weeks:
  12. I will edit throughout this day and tomorrow. Promise. EDIT I am motivated but heatwave and their sweaty-sticky-yucky days are hard. Life has been achanging. My name is Katrin [CUT-reen], I go by Morag here. I am 35 years of age. I have two sons 15 and 8 both born in December. I have a husband who quite recently (mid june) moved out, and we are both happier now than before. I plan to start working in an elderly care facility as a ... I have no idea how to translate that "Alltagsbegleiterin" September 1st. There is room on "my" floor for 10 inhabitants with varying stages of dementia, each having their own living/bed room, bathroom, but sharing communal kitchen, laundry room, dining room and communal living room. We will be cooking with the inhabitants, supporting them with their laundry, helping them keep up a semi-routine. As well as be an person to talk to for their loved ones. I'll start out with 21h/week, to get me and the kids acclimated. I really look forward to it! The kids are still on summer break (up through first week of challenge. It's the last year for my BigBoy. He struggled quite a bit last year, with all the stress at home, and being a common lazy teen reading his fanfictions like it's breathing. Phone addiction? Possibly. LittleBoy is starting 3rd grade. He is clever and fun, but can also open up that stubborn side of him, that he inherited from both sides of his lineage. Yay. Will be interesting to see how they both adjust to things at home not being so stressful. I still am trying to get state support for the last month and a half, plus August, and however long I have to wait to get paid in September, but I am HOPING HOPING HOPING that today's visit at the Job.Center took care of things. I am overweight (upper end of obese stage I) at 97kg or thereabouts at a height of just under 1m70cm. I hate it. But I have to pick my battles at the moment. And staying semi-sane and mostly-functional has priority. I hope to eventually earn enough money to afford a gym membership, where they have free weights. Lifting heavy is something that really resonates with me... But alas I am only taking walks with my Wizards Unite account, and riding my bike to appointments, because busses are expensive and horribly warm. My goals: Keep hacking away at my running to do list. Keep updating and executing my Morning, Afternoon, Evening Routine Lists (adapted from FlyLady.net, and SecretSlob on youtube) Patience with myself while I declutter zone after zone and eventually (re-)implement Home Blessing Hour (also a Flylady thing) And patience while I KonMari most of my life. Eventually I'd like to yoga with Adriene again and also participate in Daily Dare PVPs on here. But right now. I am taking care of myself. And solidify my habits. And resist the temptation to do ALL THE THINGS RIGHT NOW also known as RangerBrainTM So far my thoughts. Missing a theme... all gifs are welcome, especially all things magical, Harry Potter Verse or otherwise, all things Voyager, Katee Sackhoff, Serenity/Firefly, and all things Mermaid. 'CAUSE
  13. Hello friends... my name is Katrin [cut-reen]. I go by Morag around here, and Katrin Morag almost everywhere else. I have been around these forums since April 2016 (2015?). Last challenge was the first challenge in all that time that I missed entirely. I am a 35 year old mother of two lovely boys, ages 8 and 15. We live in Kiel, Northern Germany. I weigh in at 97kg, which is a problem, but it's currently so far down the list of priorities, that I don't even have time to worry about it. My husband of 16 years is in the process of moving out. Actually he is almost entirely moved out, but the books and boardgames we collected over the decade-and-a-half of marriage, which turns out neither of us wants to keep, are a forest in my entryhall/diningroom. I am still in therapy. This break week is the last week of school before 6 weeks of summerbreak. I have a PILE of paperwork to do to get all the running costs to be send to my name and run through my bank account. And just a "minor aside" I need to find a job, so that I can indeed continue to rent our apartment, our home. I started sorting out my bedroom and library first, cant pour from an empty pitcher, and it is almost done. I have a tendency to make a floordrobe. I can't get myself to put worn-but-still-fine clothes back into the wardrobe. To keep that in check I have plans to build a kind of coat rack / silent butler in my bedroom. The space is there, I just need wood. I moved some furniture around, now I am finally sleeping under the windows again and the former space where the bed had been is a library reading corner. Which BabyBoy and I have been using quite a lot already. Next: livingroom. Still to be unearthed from all the clutter, need to decide if I keep the coffee table or get the other one out of the hall closet. Besides being able to walk through the room again would be nice. I dream of vacuuming. Second week of summer break, Wed 10th through Sun 14th, the kids and I will be out for a much needed camping break. Hubby and I never went camping with the kids. It's not so expensive. And the kids and I deserve a treat after all this bullshit. Hubby and I are in a weird place. He doesn't want to break up with me, but he doesn't want to continue living here either. I thought I knew what I wanted. I am not entirely sure any more, beyond "the apartment sorted" and "all this chaos out of my living area". The kids are stressed, confused. Yesterday hubby was here most of the day, putting things on ebay and taking boxes/bags to his place. Afterward the elder kid asked me, why Papa doesn't sleep here any more (because he's moved out). And BabyBoy has been sleeping in my bed for an entire week now. They suffer, but it will be better once the living arrangements don't resemble a garbage pile any more. I have plans for living room and entryhall/dining room. Both need a few things which I can't budget for yet, might not even be able to this challenge, but the kids are very brave and we will be okay. I am FLYing, have been for a while. My energy levels are iffy during shark week, but that's almost over now, and I am starting to get back into things. BabyBoy made a list for himself too, things he wants to do every day, tick off... it's cool. I gotta get the three of us moving. I have a lot on my list for the week, and I WILL make a dent in it today, so that I get a good solid start. Life is different than Hubby and I had planned, different than I had worked towards for the last 16 years. But maybe I get less compromises and more what I myself want afterall now... time to see what is possible.
  14. Hello fellow Rangers, hello Rebellion, I am here. And I am not going anywhere else, except forward. These last two weeks, as I looked back over my last year, I had a different feeling brewing in my gut, different from the last few year's end of year melancholy. This time it was a distinct "roll your sleeves up"-kind of feeling. I've had enough on a lot of levels and something just has to give. So here goes: I am DONE waiting for miracles I have three things I want to get into my life this coming year. Thing 1 I want to lift heavy sh!t up and put it back down. Fitness places that are affordable and have free weights are beyond walking distance and I can just not afford them AND the bus 2-3 times a week / month pass. It'll be a stretch as is. If When I get a pass for either center and start lifting regularly, I need to have at least a bike. I have asked around inside the family for a bike. I will put more pressure into this, and if it doesn't fruit, I will, by the end of this challenge, visit at least three used-bike-places and buy a bike. Also looking into buying a used barbell, but that sh!t is expensive, if I want an olympic bar. For starters a standard would do, really cheap and not uncommon, just incompatible with later investments, that's what I stumble over. I should just get a cheap handmedown and get started... shouldn't I? Thing 2 I want to "grow up" - aka get my finances sorted to a place where I at least am in the black, start saving instead of always growing debt. First step: income (next step), budget (done) , save and pay off where possible (to come), save and get a weekend away or other vacation. I need to feel safe. I have a few things to summon some courage for and make appointments for, this is not negotiable. During this challenge I have to: * call someone about classes to take to get a better standing, and make it possible to get hired part time (=no more "on an hourly basis" sh!t), * call someone about the future situation of the classes I give (get information about how likely and for how long the "on an hourly basis" shit may still continue before it dies around me), * get a printout of what I have earned 2018 (and what hubby did), * and get an appointment at the finance place and sort that sh!t out. * Also sort out if quitting sports club is a valid next step or not. Thing 3 Aerial silks and/or bouldering/climbing There is 2 places that do aerial yoga, not sure if they offer silks per sé, need to check that out. And there is a climbing basement in walking distance from our flat, and I never checked it out, scary meeting people, but I wanna, so I gotta. That's the things I want to get sorted ASAP. Following are the things already on my plate: * I am currently in therapy for something that's called Neurasthenie in German, it just means I am emotionally, physically and mentally tired all the time and during rest periods I do not recharge as I should. I have mental loops that keep me stressing myself out while I am supposed to enjoy a movie and knitting or whatever. It fucks with my sleep. It is wearing me down. The therapy, as they do, is in parts really healing and good, but usually frikkin painful and difficult first. * I want to lose some weight, to prevent health issues later (diabetes, heart issues etc) and to make my body look like I feel I should look, which is not how I look right now. I am sure I am at least 10kg if not 20 kg above where it should be. But I don't know if eating under maintenance is a stressor I can endure right now. I think working out (bodyweight routines (and pool dates with myself) until I figure out the fitness center situation) and getting stronger, would help with my mood (yay endorphines) and getting stronger and maybe even slimmer (yay muscles) would help give me the confidence about myself that a ) I am a strong and beautiful ranger and that b ) I get the things I set my mind to achieving. I think about doing a few low-key changes, not start counting (mfp) again, but drinking water and fizzy water and maybe a glass of juice once in a while, and stay away from lemonade altogether. Reduce pasta to zucchini pasta, buy and prep paprika or another veggie as snacks at least 3 times a week. Do one workout once a week (2-3 is better, I know, but let's start small), and aim for those 10000 steps at least on sunny days, I dread them so much. no lifting goals yet, but lets get things sorted so those can happen, too, eh? It looks like a lot of "priorities" again, doesn't it? grrrrr And how is all of this water related? I have no idea. It may or may not be, actually. These challenges, that I do, elements air fire earth, now water, and finally love, they feel like "my thing". I am a shaman and a witch at heart and I am primal, so going to the elements, that's a language I understand on a deeper level. Water is my element. It has been as long as I can remember. For the elemental magic: * Wear blue and blue-greens, * drink more water than you think you need, * eat water-rich instead of salt-rich snacks, * two pool dates in four weeks, * sweat again. * And of course: constant dripping wears away the stone: keep going towards the three (five?) main things with consistency and selfcare.
  15. I continue to struggle -thoroughly- with the same things over and over and over. So again: Selfcare and taking breaks. Kinda boring, isn't it? more soon
  16. Heck yeah, MORE, gimme MORE MUAHAHAHAHA Will update with more concrete info here soonest. So life has me by the belt, and is flinging me about. I have no theme, per sé, but I was thinking about taking a photo of my stash yarn. Still not sure if maybe I'll do that. I have a few WIPs that need finishing, a tiny pi-shawlette that needs a border, a gift (old shale triangle shawl) for a friend that needs some love (stitches and beads), a second sock for my left foot, because unequal foot wear is not fun, first ever woolen sock pair I am knitting for myself (the one pair of cotton sneaker socks, 5-10 years ago don't count as knitting socks for myself). If I can knit size 49 (German sizes are weird, I'm on the phone and too lazy to translate that) for hubby, I can knit some socks for myself. I deserve amazing footwear. A few acrylic crochet toy things I am not looking at right now. I stress knit. But I also am finding the joy in fibres, textures, patterns, colours again. So it's not just my son's physical/mental health problems anymore. Not enough? More. I teach Luebecker Modell Bewegungswelten classes twice a week in an elderly home a half-hour walk from home. Good program, amazing people, good money. I am only training once a week myself right now. But that's way enough. Or it has to be for now. (Tuesday night 630-9pm) I should be focussing on all the things. But I am mostly sitting down at some point in the earliesk afternoon, for some knitting and some thinking. I rarely pull out my bujo, but I shall endeavor to do so more often, for it helps keep track of Schiff, if I don't have to carry it in my head, but have it written down instead. I weigh myself daily, for a nice pretty moving average, but I don't look at it too much. Sadly it's currently going in the wrong direction overall. But I have to breathe and go on. Giving up is not an option. I need to take the time and figure out a few breakfast and supper options that I can eat, do eat, and will eat so I don't have to log every ingredient separately every time. I need to make logging so easy I can't not. That's my plan for some of this month. I have someone coming to my class at the end of the month to give me coaching, which is exciting and scary. But I'll prevail. I have all the things on my plate. It'll be fine. Linkage and pics later today when there's natural light and such. Possibly. Did I mention that it's hubby's bday Wednesday and he's turning 40 and I love him and I actually finally have a gift for him? I am giving him a card, telling him of the weekend with no kids, got the car and day of hiking we'll both enjoy like crazy, may even book a room in advance and stay out and make it a weekend-thing instead of a Saturday thing. Never done that kinda stuff before. I pretty certain he'll love it. Nature, walking, no appointments, no obligations, just an easy 10k walk or something of the sort. Gift on Wednesday, actual walk on the 31.March/1.April-weekend. I'll keep you informed. So that's my challenge posted up. About time, isn't it?
  17. Just a place - content to follow Time to add some content here. Made a pretty table in my journal for tracking all the things. I think I actually overdid it by going for 3 weeks in one table... it will probably not be clean and pretty at the end of week 2... but it is what it is. Not sure how much more mileage I'll get out of this journal, it's pretty close to full. This next challenge will be about taking better care. Of myself, mostly. As so very often before. I have a multitude of bad food choices headed my way, or at least there's bumpy terrain ahead: * My sister-in-law's bday on Oct 28th * My own bday on Nov 2nd * I will maybe start working properly, teaching fitness schtuff in an elderly care facility close-by. Negotiating information labyrinth at the moment, getting all co-operation-partners onto the same page, things are scary-eciting-scary at times. * and additionally the bdays for both kids (Dec 3rd, and Dec 14th), my mum (Dec 20th), and at least two (Dec 13th and Dec 19th), and maybe a third work(=fitness group)-christmas parties/dinners looming for the Dec challenge. One of them is laser tag with greek restaurant afterwards, one is Kegeln, which is kinda like bowling, but the balls are smaller and have no holes, and you roll for 9 pins not 10 (or the other way around, what do I know?), so that's fun... The focus for this challenge, in order of priority are as follows: Bedtime --> 8h sleep starting Oct 28th Habitat --> do something every day Work --> read fitness programm manuals, plan classes, get familiar with the materials Drink water - ffs Track caloric budget of 1350, plus eat what you sweat for. Practice Superpower every day Track class attendance, try to get to Tuesday morning class too Vent introspection urges into journaling Vent artistic urges into pretty doodles, or crafts or something, pics here. And decelerate, sit down, drink tea, knit or journal or snooze, do nothing, let the mind rest for a bit, this last one... I am aiming for daily, but I'm okay with every other day or so... just getting back into it at all is a good thing at this point. This is my list. I am not tracking my forum activity/participation, mostly because I forgot to add the line in the table for it. If I start being all floozy and flaking, I'll add a line and start tracking it again. The metal slag I was talking about in the headline of this thread is mostly about me playing Mechwarrior:Online. I had stopped playing MW:O 2 years ago just before I started putting my then-excess energy into fitness and getting healthier. It's good I stopped, because back then I played often 8-10h a day, ran 2h training nights 2-3 times a week, dissected the maps and play modes, organised gathering and sharing of in game info far beyond what anyone would call sane. I basically treated the game and the unit I ran with like other people treat a job, because I had no job, I had the time, and I loved my men, the normal human guys, family men almost all, and I felt this deep need to take care of the people and make sure the guys had fun. Winning matches is fun, losing if you communicated well and have it a good shot is fun too, so I gave the unit a LOT of my time and energy. The game was good, but not awesome then. The maps have been improved upon, there's way more game modes and variety and it looks fun. Since Saturday (6 days now) I've played 28h. I am going to get shit done BEFORE I log onto a game. Do laundry, then play a round. Read a chapter/work on a class programme THEN drop a round. Read stuff anytime I am meching, so the time I game is always(!) also low-key work time. That's the metal slag. Because boy I am hooked again.
  18. So here we are. Break week of August challenge. I have no idea what I am doing atm. Tapatalk is on the fritz so I am typing on my teeny tiny phone browser. Life is weird. I am weighing in Monday at 94.2kg. I have been in a plateau around 95kg for the last 7 months. I have been fighting myself, driving myself slowly crazier and crazier to a point where some part of me was seriously considering cutting calories severely for a month or so, just to get out of this rut. I. WILL. NOT. Though. It has taken years to get to that horrible start weight (103kg April 2015), it will take more than a month to get out of it. What good is starving myself, losing my gains, possibly even screwing up my relationship with food and eating... So the actual plan? Message to self - listen up missy: 1. Eat better. Eat whole foods as much as possible. Limit (but not banned) starchies (bread, pasta, rice, potatoes...). Eat high quality fats (within limits - it's okay, just don't go crazy). Eat meat consciously. Eat regularly, manage hunger, be smart about it all. 2. Drink your gorram water. 1l bare minimum, 2l is the actual goal! 3. Go to sleep at a decent hour, please! 4. It's summer, find something fun to do, enjoy life, please! 5. Keep doing the little things that improve quality of living in your habitat, girl, you know it's good for you. And lastly 6. Log. It. All. And. Stay. In. Touch. Mfp for food and exercise, and such. Hop on here to keep in touch about how things go overall. Go and check on your friends, too.
  19. Have some music: It's almost mid-July now. A LOT of changes heading towards me and mine. Little boy "graduates" from Kindergarten. Summer break for most of our fitness activities, most of all our regular schedule. Life is weird. And it never really changes to not being weird, when I think I almost got used to things, they change again. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing. It's just something that keeps me on my toes. This time without theme to go back to what is essential, what is REALLY important. I am aiming for a log-in every other day to every day with core data, and at least 3 times per week with a few words about what is going on. The goals right now are: log EVERYTHING (foodwise in mfp, challengewise in bujo and here). Drink enough water (2+L/d). Get enough oxytosin (stay in touch with supportive people, and support the right people in turn) how much and how often is to be determined, I am not quite sure what a good number is right now. Take a break in the early afternoons to sit with tea and check in with myself. That's it from me for now. Hope you are having an AMAZING SUMMER. I'll come check in with you in a little bit. Love you, my Ranger-friends, and rebels all. Katrin
  20. Balancing the primal side, which thinks simple, base, emotional (sometimes violent) thoughts, and the evolved side, which thinks sustainible, healthy, inherent good thoughts. While both sides can be kind and caring, the flavour and tone of self-talk varies dramatically. I am both sides. I have both sides. And I don't think it will ever fully change, and that's good, because I don't want to lose either of those ways of thinking and feeling. So for the next little bit, which I imagine will be a bit rough in places, I'd like San from Princess Monoké to teach me some of her strength and wisdom. Goal 1 do the work 8h/week (more is better) use timer, and track it, sit down (or stand up) and do the work. Plan classes, workout choreography or find excercises for training goals, study movement apparatus and "hospitieren" (=going to a class as a participant, as a way to observe and learn how people teach their classes) Goal 2 clean your den 15min flylady/day keep tracking Goal 3 take care of you 15 min snack prep in the a.m. good food choices throughout drink water (LOTS OF WATER) move (yoga) /every single frikkin day! And "on the side" I want to be more present on here again, I did well for a bit when I first installed tapatalk, but then I muted it, because I got all these messages of threads I didn't even want to follow and then I didn't get any messages, now I unmuted it, am still not getting updates and overall am a little grrrrr with the whole thing. But I miss ya, so I am going to figure this out!!
  21. I am going with Kiki this month. Kiki is Ghibli's heroine of 1989. She is honest and cheerful, hardworking and loyal, and honestly a little lost. She isn't an awesome witch, and when she leaves home for her mandatory year of training away she only really can do one witch thing. Flying. And she's not really good at that either. But she goes and does it anyway. And in way we all know, at least I do, she looses that thing that makes her her, and has to relearn magic from scratch, and she has only herself, and the friends she makes along the way and she figures out how to be what she knows she has to be. A witch. A good one too. So I really could use her spirit right now. I am hitting the books hard, learning what I can about being a trainer and I am not entirely sure if I can do this. But I like giving people tools to make themselves less fragile. And encouraging them to find a healthier person inside themselves, doing good things for themselves... Work. 8h / week. Do something productive for me being a trainer. Plan classes, read school material, work on homework. FlyLady. 15min / day. Do some adulting at home every single day. No doing heaps one day then lazying off for days on end. Act like the badass you know you can be. Drink water. (every day) Eat well. (a good choice each day) Move daily (DailyDare or yoga 5 days per week = non-class days) That's the plan so far. I will log in my bujo (bullet journal), and from time to time I will dazzly you with the pretty of it... Or with food porn... or you know, being spring, with nature being pretty. You have been warned. I do love this community. And the amazing people in it. Katrin
  22. Grinding; Small Stones (Stones: a few KCAL a day / that extra microplate or rep / ingraining solid habits) Longterm goals / Main-quest / The Mountain What: Drop in BF% Why: Walk around comfortably without clothes What: Get “bodyweight-fit” Why: Be OCR-ready / Satisfy RangerBrain™ What: Drop below 74 kg (163 lbs) Why: Be ready for PL-beginners-meet Remember the past: track to be able to see progress. Plan for the future: Think up and work out solid long term and short term goals Live for today: Have fun, to keep going Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come: : (What will tomorrow-you say about this?) Challenge goals: DIET: (If i have to decide whether i should eat/drink it, than i shouldn't) Primary objectives Daily KCAL limit: 2000 made up of: 30% Carb / 35% Fat / 35% Prot Clean eating, which means, No: deepfried / candy / cookies / dessert Clean drinking, which means, No: beer / soda / diet soda But to “live for today” if the occasion requires it, adapt, but make it a conscious decision Secondary Objectives Tracking, by doing daily weigh-ins and plan with MFP before major meals For accountability, keep the spreadsheet and your challenge updated (If choice is needed think about the long-term-goal) EXERCISE: (Growth = Pain + Recovery) Primary objectives Juggernaut based training: 3 times a week according to *schedule Running: 3 times a week according to the *rules Secondary Objectives Tracking, on paper during workout and/or digital on the challenge For accountability, keep the spreadsheet and your challenge updated Organize all the previous lifting data in a new spreadsheet *Schedule Juggernaut Days Mo We Sa Mo We Sa Deadlifts/Lower Back LB DL LB DL LB DL Squats/Pull- or Chinups PU SQ SQ PU SQ SQ Benchpress/Overheadpress OHP BP BP OHP BP BP *Rules for Running Before DST (March 26) Run every Tuesday / Friday / Sunday Add ½ KM every week After DST (March 26) Run every Sunday / Thursday Add 1 KM every week Add bodyweight specific workout on Friday I know this means i will be running for the whole of this challenge, just putting it here for future reference, but as always will adjust as needed. (every (even small) step(s) gets you closer to your goal) I have laser-focus at the moment. So i’m taking this opportunity to engrave it in stone. All the quotes mentioned are something i need to be reminded of every once in a while to keep focus. The last week of the previous challenge and 0-week have been a beta, for this concept, and have gone extremely well. This major “fix RangerBrain™” has also awakened my “join Crossift-box feeling”. But the boxes are all far out, and i cannot prioritize to the extra money at this time. But i aim for a WOD on friday when i adhere to my running rules and go from 3 to 2 sessions a week after DST. Next to all this i have this creeping feeling, that doing the juggernaut workout and running 3 times a week just isn’t enough, i mean doing only 0.5-1 hour (running) or 1-1.5 hour (lifting) for a total of 6 days a week feels a bit like trying to become an olympic athlete without doing the work. Anyone relate? I know this is basically like asking if any of you Rangers has RangerBrain™. Still i’m curious if someone has the same issue. Everybody have a kickass challenge!!! !!! SHOWTIME !!!
  23. Okay, really quick goals list, then off to do all the things, because weekends are for extra work, because who needs time off? 1 Rest more - take breaks - do yoga - couch time with hubby to watch something or read... do SOMETHING every day! B eat well: veggies/fruit 50+% of a snack or meal: 10x/week Γ work out: 3x per week (2x classes I participate, 1x class I teach, bonus: dance class) plus 3 runs or walks of sufficient length (45+min) д log EVERYTHING and I do mean everything. It doesn't have to be super detailed, but it has to be logged. Do NOT put anything in your mouth (food, I'm talking FOOD!!! perv) that is not noted in your silly little journal. How do you think you will ever fill it up, and consequently get rid of that thing and buy one you really, really like, if you don't write in it? So do it. DOOOO EEEEETTTT. Long weekend ahead, so I gotta get ready Love you, folks PS refugees welcome. Somehow we will make things work.
  24. Time for a new thread to go up... I am late. Later than usual. With the thread, you know, and I even had this amazing theme idea... now I'm just gonna try to make it make sense to you, see what will come of that. It's that time of year, you know? The dark time, it's almost Winsol (you know this reference?), it is that crazy time of cookie baking, childrens birthdays (yes both my kids are born in December, what was I thinking?!) and wait for it to get cold outside. I'm located in the far north of Germany, that little nub between northsea and baltic... no not Denmark, just south of Denmark, actually we were Danish at some point in the past... anyway, unimportant, so we have the baltic right outside our doorstep (kinda) and that's a big body of water, fed mostly by rivers out of scandinavian mountains and Belarus, so imagine: cold, but huge body of water, now on the other side of this piece of land we have the north sea, fed by the golf stream going by, even bigger body of water. Now imagine what happens when temperatures change: yeah, not much, the bodies of water take the heat out of our summers, and the bite out of our winters, we get lot's of humidity year round though, and that can be a bit... English, if you know what I mean. But anyway if you are into that kinda thing Kiel is a nice place to live and I wouldn't change it for the world. and since the profecies of Shadowrun didn't come to pass so far, I'm pretty hopeful it'll stay a nice place until further notice. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, the dark and cold season. Winsol not too far away now, the first-born's birthday looming (this WED) I can almost feel that break up ahead, that I have been waiting for. And for me that means rereading favourite stories. Binging on Anne Bishop, Kevin Hearne, Kelley Armstrong, Neil Gaiman (fict) and Phyllis Curott, Julia Cameron, Marian Green and Ute M Schiran (non-fict). Lot's of chores, cleaning and cooking/baking. Return to introspection: a desire to journal again. And shopping for and wrapping the last presents. Challenge: Log food 3x/week Sleep 7 1/2+h each night, stay close to the 8h a night I've reach last challenge be on the forums, either reading (and supporting) others' threads or updating my own 4x/week start journaling again bullet journal Find a way to recharge that doesn't include binging on Netflix or comfort food Thank you for those reading on in my little corner, I am sorry for the wall text tendencies... maybe with journaling that will clear itself up too... Katrin Gratitude washing machines - imagine doing the laundry at a river or in the Kiel Bay... shudder music of (almost) all kinds good stories read on a dark night in a home with central heating. (being read to or reading myself both count)
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