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Well, jeez. It’s been a WHILE. I kinda don’t even know where to begin at this point..... HELLO everyone, I am shaar - longtime forum member from days of yore, wayward bard and time mage, liberal user of caps lock and bringer of the HYPE! If we haven’t met before hello and I hope we can be friends! ❤️ If we are already friends, hello I MISSED all of you so much; your genuine kindness and support are what keeps me coming back here throughout the chaotic rodeo that is my life. So, where have I been? (spoilered for Terrible Life Events) But enough of what's been handed to me. I feel that more than most I am always in flux; today shaar is in a very different place than last year’s shaar, or even two years ago. Ten years ago? TOTALLY different person. Living in a totally different place, completely different people and situations. Change is a constant companion and I’ve learned to take it under my wing and find ways to make myself thrive with it. The entirety of my life has been a wildly stark dichotomy of brilliant highs and lowest lows - there is rarely an in between. I've had some amazing experiences and am somehow through it all, a very lucky person. I have shouldered a lot of loss and unfortunate events. The past three months have seen me at my lowest ever. The sun is starting to crack through the void a little bit and I’m convinced that 2022 is going to burn brighter to me than anything, EVER, before. So here I am. LET’S FUCKING GOOOOO, YEAH??? OVERARCHING GOAL Don’t fall back into The Void. My sub-goals all center around BETTER HABIT BUILDING. V. important. Regular fitness schedule. I’m grateful through all of this I have a body that not only puts up with me but allows me to lift heavy and pretty much do what I want. It’s been a solid three months since I’ve done anything remotely fitness-related; I will take advantage of the fact that I am in good physical shape and get to the gym three times a week. Eat better. NO more mozzarella sticks for dinner! NO more leftover pizza at 9am! NO more holiday candy! I will make smarter meal prep choices for work lunches that contain more protein and more veggies, and I will cook us a healthy homemade meal twice a week at least - once during the week, and once on the weekend. (Leftovers FTW.) (Also I fuckin LOVE cookingggggdsfjlksd) Dry(ish) January. Full stop admittance that alcohol has been a coping mechanism for me through all of this madness. I will keep any drinking to Friday night and Saturday ONLY. Keep up with posting. It’s been harrrrd for me to keep up with the forums, mostly because the only chance I have is at my desktop (posting on my phone makes me want to curl up into a ball and fade away) but I now have a bluetooth keyboard for my iPad so hopefully that will help???? (YES it will~) I considered making a 2022 roadmap for my goals but then I realized my existence could be classified as “shaar plans and the gods laugh” so then I ALSO laughed and said to myself, YOLO HERE WE GO FOR NOW~