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HI! I am Deftona and this is my 24th challenge here on Nerd Fitness. I was going to sit out a few weeks of this challenge because EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING! in my life right now but I decided NAY, I SHALL PROCEED but I am going to be taking a Week Zero for the first time in a long time. Mostly because I am going on holiday for a few days to somewhere that has magical places to eat, but also because I am moving house albeit really freaking slowly, and while it's wise to set aside a couple of days to ensure this runs smoothly, I need to get my shit together at some point and I think this challenge will help me keep all my crap together. I am expecting to be incommunicado until I get my internet connected which will not be in time for the start of this challenge but maybe I can be that hipster in Starbucks who bogarts some free wifi. Who knows? Not me. Onto the challenge goals! Life, much like the Johnny Karate Super Awesome Explosion Show, is all about learning, trying, helping and having fun. And with that, there are Five Karate Moves to Success: make something, learn something, karate chop something, try something new even if it's scary to you and be nice to someone. Make Something With Carpenter Ron I want to do something every day towards making my habitat better. This could be unpacking a box, turning up the curtains or cleaning something. Every single day I am not at work, I want to be making my new home lovely because I plan to start as I mean to go on. Learn Something with Professor Smart Brain For this one, I want to learn a new fact every single day. About anything at all, but I have to report a fact every day. Karate Chop Something Every day I am not at my out of the home job (which is just a couple of days a week), I want to be doing some exercise. Given that my new dedicated gym room won't be set up immediately, a Darebee daily exercise will be sufficient but I am expecting to have the gym done by mid October at the latest so I will have access to my elliptical and my barbell. EEEEEEEEEK! Try Something New With Leslie Knope Since I am moving to a new area it will be nice to explore my immediate surroundings. Maybe check out the local library and pool, walk around the neighbourhood or do something like try a new recipe. It doesn't really matter what it is as long as it's new to me. Three new things every week. Be Nice to Someone I am slightly changing this. Not because I don’t want to be nice to people because I do, I just don’t want to be nice to people simply because I made it a challenge. So instead, this ‘someone’ is going to be my cat. And I am going to focus on giving her lots of fuss, attention and cuddles with lots of play time which usually involves her watching me play with her cat toys because I guess that’s funny to her, making her 31 and 36 year old humans play with her fuzzy cat toys while she watches us like we’re mentally inferior to her. And like this episode of Parks and Rec, I am going to end on John Cena. New challenge. Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

In the terrifying hellscape that is my imagination, I am a Diva employed by WWE at the top of my game and I am such a badass, I don't even have to star in Total Divas. I have held the Diva's title for 26 days so far and I am aiming to beat Nikki Bella's 301 day record. And just because I like you all, have a booty gif. The Rules for the Title Reign: To retain the title, I have to perform on every TV show (Raw, NXT and Smackdown), as well as every televised special (eg Beast in the East) and PPV. In order to perform, I have to complete a cardio session - at least a 30 minute elliptical session for every day the TV show airs. I can move these days around if I need to but the idea is that I will 'perform' every Monday (Raw), Wednesday (NXT) and Thursday (Smackdown). I have created a roster of 50 female wrestlers, all the current batch, along with some important ones from yesteryear and each person has an exercise session attached to them. For every show I perform on, I roll dice to determine if it will be a title defence, and if it is, I have to complete that wrestler's exercise session in addition to my own cardio in order to retain the belt. PPVs are always title defences. My other long term goal is to get the Best Ass in England (excluding Greater London)TM and I am trying to accomplish this with Project: Best Ass (henceforth referred to as P:BA) which is a strength training regime targeting my booty. This Challenge Goal One - Tye Dillinger's Perfect 10 (plus ten multiplied by a thousand) (Did I just win the prize for most tenuous sub-goal title?) Have a deficit of 20,000 15,000 (due to injury) calories by the penultimate day of the challenge. Goal Two - Get Bull Fit Get at least 100 75 (due to injury) km in mileage (kilometreage?) on the elliptical. Goal Three - No Sexual Chocolate I have done this before but it worked so ZERO CHOCOLATE. Which reminds me, I still have chocolate left from Christmas I should probably offload... Goal Four - Basic (Eco)Thuganomics Stick to monthly budget, don't make any frivolous purchases and don't buy anything new to wear (with two exceptions, the perfect black denim jacket should I come across it and a chunky, mustard coloured cardigan because I have been looking for the perfect one of these since forever) YEAH, FEBRUARY! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Well, my original post got eaten when my firefox crashed so here's basically the tl;dnr version (aka, tl;did not want to type again I ended up typing a lot anyway) Goal 1 - Eat at 15% deficit of TDEE I want to get down to 155 lbs. I had been hovering around 170 but this morning weighed in at about 162, so this is very do-able! Looking for about 1 lb a week. How: Track my food in MFP. I eat the same breakfast every day so that's easy. Also track weight daily in MFP. I feel daily tracking gives me the best indicator of how I'm doing because what if I weight myself one week and I'm particularly dehydrated and then the next week I'm on my cycle so I'm all bloated, that's not giving me the whole picture. I'm not currently obsessing over the scale or the weight or like "omg I just ate a ton, I wonder how much I weigh now!" The scale is my friend, not my enemy, and I will use its accurate and objective readings to reach my goals. Why 155? That's my college weight, and at this point just kind of an arbitrary weight goal. After this cut, I want to bulk and gain muscle so I think 155 is a good starting point. Goal 2 - Bring yo mutha effin' lunch to work, yo Seriously. This is beneficial because I can eat exactly to my calorie goals AND if I eat the same thing for a few days it's easier to track in MFP. This makes two aspects of my life automated so I can focus on other shit, like finishing the Wheel of Time series and elbowing my fiance outta the way so I can play Destiny (I kid, I kid). Goal 3 - StrongCurves (aka Booty by Bret) 3x a week Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Bret Contreras. We'll never know. I actually do have an ample rump but it's not very useful. How do I know this? Because I injured my back in Sept 2014 and did extensive physical therapy which pretty much led to the conclusion that I have very little glute and ab activation which means my quads and back are doing most of the work. Bad times for back (no so bad for quadzilla). StrongCurves is particularly ideal for me because of its focus on glutes, it's 3x a week which is more than do-able for me and flexible in case work gets stoopid, it's strength-based to help me maintain muscle while cutting. Win-win-win!!