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This is my second attempt at posting this new challenge today, as I stupidly put it in the wrong forum first. Goofball. Ack! New Challenge already! Okay, I'm in. But I'm doing this on my tablet so I have no pictures. I challenge all of you to supply me with appropriate gifs. My Challenge will be a weird one because for most of it I will be on my epic Journey to the Florida Keys, where I will kayak (with a group) 63 miles in 5 days from Marathon Key (mile 47 on the Overseas Highway) to Key West, mile marker 0 and the Southernmost point, hopefully not being eaten by a giant marine predator or frying to a crisp in the proccess. The morning after I finish the kayak portion, I will mount my aluminum steed and ride north for three days, covering 80 map miles and 107 physical miles to reach mile marker 80, and will have traversed virtually the entire Florida keys under human power. I bought a special shirt to wear at the victory. THEN, because I am actually, certifiably insane, I will drive home and exactly one week later will do a combination kayak/trail run adventure race in South Carolina on March 26th, which will close out my three-part "Predator Series" as well as my three month work sabbatical in a blaze of glory. And Sunburn. And possibly a pulled hamstring. So my goals on this challenge are: 1: Don't die. This will be graded on a pass/fail basis. 2: See goal one for not dying. 3: if you must die, die biting the throat. I do have some other goals: A: keep leveling up my career via my podcast and webseries and writing and etc B: Don't eat like an idiot C: transition back to work as smoothly as possible I will update these as I can, but the trip will be the main thing. Bear with me. I promise to go back to micromanaging my carb count as soon as it's over. BTW Flamethrowers have nothing to do with my challenge. I was just trying to keep things interesting. Speaking of updates, I just thought I would mention that I wore my jeans out to dinner last night. Imhaven't been able to wear my jeans (I only have the one pair for some reason) in TWO YEARS. Let alone wear them into an eating establishment AND not have to undo the button mid-meal (though I confess my crossfit warrior thighs gave them a moment's pause). My physique may be changing at a glacial pace, but it's getting somewheres.... Spoiler If anyone's remotely interested, when I could last wear those jeans, I weighed 175 lbs after several months of hardcore keto dieting. I now weigh 193, but I'm the same size despite being almost twenty pounds heavier. So that old saw about muscle being smaller amd denser than an equal poundage of bodyfat is apparently true. Or I've developed my own specific gravity in relation to Earth's, which would be interesting. Adventure race deets below if you're interested: Spoiler The adventure Race is a 6 mile kayak and 4 mile trail run in South Carolina the 26th. I fully expect to be the last person finished, and to walk/jog/walk the trail portion. I signed up for it because a friend was talking on facebook about it (his wife is entered) and I was like, "that sounds like so much fun! I wish I could do that." And I just couldn't stop thinking about it, and finally I just woke up in the night and decided there was no reason I *couldn't* do it, and signed up. I must be getting more confident, or at least more adventurous. Or just crazier

It's another challenge! Right after the last challenge! I haven't even had time to tally my final scores for the last challenge and here we are again? This whole "no break" thing is going to be the end of me... Three goals. That's it. Last time I had like, five or six, and that was too many. It went well, but it was hard to track and some things fell by the wayside. 1. Get outside and ride! Three times per week at least. I've always been a runner, and the older I get the more convinced I am that I'm not really a long distance runner. Only because I'm always to some degree or another, injuring myself or rehabbing from an injury. So maybe it's the year to dedicate myself to more cycling. And, while going inside to spin and watch a movie is a fine way to get the workout in, it's not the same as having the breeze in my beard and the sun on my face. Of course, March is also ski month, so a day of skiing can sub for a good road ride. Commuting *doesn't* count. 2. Commute by bike! Sure, it's a little chilly in the mornings, but I live in beautiful Boulder, CO, and unless it's dumping snow, there's really no good reason not to ride. I'll get to work on my bike three times a week. If I've got a short work week (because of vacation or whatnot) that number goes down by one. 3. Continue with the weight training, incorporating pull-ups of all flavors. Three times per week, and bonus for increasing the maximum! I'll have to work out the details....

Not really sure how to go about this, so this first post will be throwing things at the wall. Starting Me: 35, indifferently female, Ace. 5'7". Attention/focus issues. Current situation: Very low activity level outside of work, which is 2-3 nights a week. Short term goals: Create and stick to an activity plan. Improve endurance and lung capacity, get used to being outside again, where My Enemy the sun is. Plan: 3 mile cycling, 2 days a week, maintain 9+ mph. Bodyweight workout, 3 days a week. Our story so far (week 1): May 1: 3 miles COMPLETED. May 2: Bodyweight workout, 3 circuits. 5 lbs for dumbell rows, though I'll likely be upping that to 8 or 10 next time. Circuits 2 and 3 had 10 each of lunges and squats, though all 3 circuits had 20 sec planks. I decided it was more important to do 3 circuits than quibble about exact rep numbers at this stage. May 3: Sore as hell, 3 miles completed, plus another 1.5 or so because I locked myself out of my house. May 4: Still pretty damn sore when I move. Got through the Bodyweight workout again. 3 circuits, 10 lb dumbbell rows that made a much better impact. 11 reps of lunges and squats for circuits 2 and 3. May 5: Rest day. The soreness is finally waning, weather turned rainy. I work tonight, and tomorrow will do bodyweight workout at my folks' house. May 6: Almost pain-free wakeup this morning. My Jerk-brain tried to convince me to use today as a second rest day, I made it shut up. Had to improvise for the dumbell rows; did you know a 12-can case of Coca-cola weighs roughly 9-10 lbs? I was also able to bump up lunges and squats to 12 reps, though my lunge form needs work. May 7: Rest day. Pain free, woot! Back on the bike tomorrow.

So I was going through the classes the other night, as I am kinda new, and thought.. hmm.. I'm kind of a warrior, but strength training won't be my only focus.. I'm kind of a Ranger, but also kind of a Scout.. Somewhere in between is where I really fit.. I hate running, but everything else? Love it... Here's my idea: A class that focuses on other outdoor sports but not running.. maybe sprinkle a little in there occasionally for those that do like it, but skiing, snowboarding, snowshoeing, cycling, rollerblading, hiking (backpacking too) We could be called Juggernauts. We are hardcore and we use sophisticated tools to help us kill it, whether it is a wheeled steed of steel to aid our treacherous path across the lands, or we travel silently like a rogue, shredding new paths in the back-country snow. But then when we can't get outdoors to continue our epic adventure, we maintain top form in the weight room... Yay, nay? I had a whole post written out and it was awesome... then my laptop died....LOL Rebecca

I'm back! I spent the first week of this challenge in Arizona, helping my mom pack up her house to move. I moved some 200+ boxes. I also managed to work out one time, which was a real drag because the weather was so amazing down there and I would have loved to go for a long desert run or two--but there just wasn't time. In any case, I've been too busy at work and home with a sick kid this weekend to get on NF and come up with any goals. So, like any good thief, I'm going to steal YOURS! From starsapart: Stretch (+3 Dex) 6 days a week of hamstring stretches, at least 5 minutes per day. (Now, here, starsapart goes into doing some splits stretches, which is waaaay beyond my flexibility. So I've modified.) 2 of those 6 days must be >10 minutes. From RogueLibrarian: Diet (+3 Wis) Cook a new recipe once a week. Less cheese. Less starch. More vegetables. (I'll add to this my plan to keep my added sugar down.) From sylph: Pull ups and TTB (Toes To Bar) (+3 STR) 3 sessions each: -TTB can be actual TTB; ground progressions; or other core/hip flexor things -Pull ups are pull ups. (I'm looking to increase to 12 from my current record of 10) Now, for my own goals: Piano (+3 CHA) 4 sessions per week, 30 min min Planning (+3 CON) Post workout plans on Monday, stick to it all week.

Ack! New Challenge already! Okay, I'm in. But I'm doing this on my tablet so I have no pictures. I challenge all of you to supply me with appropriate gifs. My Challenge will be a weird one because for most of it I will be on my epic Journey to the Florida Keys, where I will kayak (with a group) 63 miles in 5 days from Marathon Key (mile 47 on the Overseas Highway) to Key West, mile marker 0 and the Southernmost point, hopefully not being eaten by a giant marine predator or frying to a crisp in the proccess. The morning after I finish the kayak portion, I will mount my aluminum steed and ride north for three days, covering 80 map miles and 107 physical miles to reach mile marker 80, and will have traversed virtually the entire Florida keys under human power. I bought a special shirt to wear at the victory. THEN, because I am actually, certifiably insane, I will drive home and exactly one week later will do a combination kayak/trail run adventure race in South Carolina on March 26th, which will close out my three-part "Predator Series" as well as my three month work sabbatical in a blaze of glory. And Sunburn. And possibly a pulled hamstring. So my goals on this challenge are: 1: Don't die. This will be graded on a pass/fail basis. 2: See goal one for not dying. 3: if you must die, die biting the throat. I do have some other goals: A: keep leveling up my career via my podcast and webseries and writing and etc B: Don't eat like an idiot C: transition back to work as smoothly as possible I will update these as I can, but the trip will be the main thing. Bear with me. I promise to go back to micromanaging my carb count as soon as it's over. BTW Flamethrowers have nothing to do with my challenge. I was just trying to keep things interesting. Speaking of updates, I just thought I would mention that I wore my jeans out to dinner last night. Imhaven't been able to wear my jeans (I only have the one pair for some reason) in TWO YEARS. Let alone wear them into an eating establishment AND not have to undo the button mid-meal (though I confess my crossfit warrior thighs gave them a moment's pause). My physique may be changing at a glacial pace, but it's getting somewheres.... Adventure race deets below if you're interested:

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Seconds after Jothra had picked up the ratty old journal and re-entered his house, the rain started pouring in buckets. Damp and unfortunate, sure, but hardly foreboding. Jothra was a fairly skeptical person, despite having spent quite some time in a place with cardboard-winged flying people and extant dinosaurs in top hats. So when he found the journal full of descriptions of strange creatures, he was about to dismiss it outright. Until he found a page about a portal. According to the book, Jothra's Rebellion-provided home was located directly on top of the former site of a large dimensional rift, and a bunch of things had come through. Things too weird for this place? This was definitely a problem...the kind of problem Jothra intended to solve. So, I think it's rather telling that in a world in which almost every single person now carries a camera for almost 100% of their waking time, there is still an absolute dearth of evidence for Bigfoot. But mysterious creatures sure make for good television! It's too bad the next episode is the series finale, but at least it's ending before it has a chance to fizzle out or something. 1.) Main Fitness Quest My three goal-achieving-type-little-goals-that-add-up-to-a-bigger-goal-goals. i.) Mine, shovel, chop, and hoe except on S Days (Saturdays, Sundays, and Special Days). Shovelglove! Shugging is a good time. I have recently developed the ability to complete my whole routine in exactly 14 minutes. If I get it done faster, I'll add more reps. I am quite happy with the 22 lb. hammer. Easy scoring: __/20. [+2 STR | +2 STA] ii.) Ride the Getaway Golf Cart! Except it's actually a bicycle. I don't own any golf carts. Ride a bicycle for 30 minutes except, as above, on S Days. Unless I want to. No rule about intensity, and no upward time limit. I've been going to town on my Modified Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper of a stationary bike, and the mountain bike has been behaving. Also, the way the weather's behaving, I might be back on the road bike sooner than I thought. __/20. [+2 STA | +2 DEX | +1 CHA] iii.) Stick to an all-gnome diet. It's basically paleo, and also gnomes are gluten and lactose free. Actually, I'll just eat at a calorie deficit as if to lose 1 lb. per week. This is a deficit of 500 calories a day. It more or less worked last time, and wasn't terribly taxing. __/28. [+2 CON | +2 WIS] 2.) LIFE SIDE QUEST Read every day. With an important difference. I'm in a play. For the first half of the challenge, I'll be reading from that script a lot. After that, the play will be over, and I can go more free-form. __/28. [+2 CHA] As per normal, I'm going to determine scores based on percentage ranges, more or less like on my childhood report cards. A = 86-100% | B = 73-85% | C = 66-72% | D = 51-65% | F = 0-50% 3) MOTIVATION ... I absolutely could not think of a thematically appropriate way to include this image, so here it is anyway.

What am I training for? 3/25 3/26 GORUCK Challenge and GORUCK Light Baltimore 4/17 6/12 9/11 Ok, maybe just a little crazy but I am giving it a shot. Goal 1: Triathalon training I want to hit my daily training every day and update this challenge thread with my results, having a battle log in combination is too much for me to handle. These workouts include weights and some light body weight stuffs. Goal 2: Nutrition 2,200 calories daily for now. When I up my training I may add more, for now this works for me. I would also like to cut out alcohol unless it is a very social event. I have a company dinner tomorrow night and a Capitals game next Sunday. That is all I am aware of during this challenge. Goal 3: Rucking Every morning, no exceptions. I only have 2 months to get some serious mileage in before my back 2 back GORUCKs. I want to be ready and recover quickly from this event. Side Quest: Be Productive Yes, I like watching TV and playing video games, but i really need to work on managing my time more, I am hoping to update this thread with some sort of productivity daily.

I tried last challenge and I'll try again. This year is mostly about making habits and sticking to them, keeping up with the habits that I have made and basically trying not to fall completely off the wagon. Goal 1: Everyday movement Walking - a k a day - one kilometre (or more) per day. Bonus if it's not to get somewhere but just for fun. Cycling - to (and hopefully from) work - twice a week Goal 2: Strength One strength workout per week. This can be a strength focused class at my gym, a bodyweight workout or my own hodgepodge. Goal 3: Nutrition Paleo breakfast 5 x a week Paleo meal prep 1 x a week (and eat that food without letting it go to waste!) Goal 4: Declutter Still working on my floor.

NF7: the Predator Pounces, Part 1 And so it begins... Going to stick with a fairly simple challenge this time out, as I'm just coming off a heavy work streak and am feeling the need to streamline. Since the Challenges are shorter now, I’m going to break a larger challenge into 3-4 smaller sections, as I have smaller goals that will build up to a larger event in April. I'm planning to have extra time to devote to healthiness and such, though, as I'm finally taking a sabbatical from work for a few months. Since I am a freelancer, that just means I either don't answer the phone or I answer the phone and then lie about being booked. It's not like I had to make a tear-stained appeal to Human Resources or anything. I did have to tell one contract client that I wasn't available to take any more work with them, which I'm not sure they actually believed. Anyway! On to the challenge. I have three (yes, only three!) areas to work on, and I'm using one reference as a guide for each. I have a bunch of other things rattling around in my skull, but since I didn't want to do the whole "it's January and I must CHANGE MY LIFE COMPLETELY" nonsense, I'm going to restrain myself to these three. Then I can layer on more on the next time. Clean it up: using the excellent "Eat Like A Predator" essay by J Stanton as a guideline, I want to do a serious Paleo reboot. My eating went to hell in a handbasket after Thanksgiving and I need to feed the machine properly. Very limited grains, no sugar, no proccessed carbs except on bike days. (Then I'm allowed a powerbar and some gatorade.) Goal: there's 21 possible meals in a week, although I tend to only eat twice a day, so I'm aiming for no more than 2 non-paleo meals per week. I’m still pondering if I want to count carbs this time around. Work it out: I'm taking a quote by Kelly Starrett, Crossfit coach extrordinaire, as my inspiration: "What it [crossfit] does is expand the consciousness of what's possible. By the way, you CAN run this mountain 7k AND still be brutally strong - in fact, why aren't you?" I have a new, circuit-training style gym workout which I want to do 3 days a week, and add my cycling in around that. Mobility work at least 4 days a week (my mobility work is a simple yoga routine that takes about 15 minutes). Essentially I'm trying to be more of an all-round athlete; quick, strong, flexible, and agile. Not as strong as a powerlifter, not as fast as a sprinter, but more versatile than both. In other words: Ranger Badass. Goal: minimum of 2x gym, 2x bike. Easy Peasy. Maximize my outdoor time with walking, hiking, etc. Level it up: part of the reason I am taking a sabbatical is to work on some personal projects and turn my career in a more creative, self-controlled direction. I played around with a few ideas and I've finally come up with a web series/podcast combo that I'm going to start making called The Haunted Seas - all about ghost stories, folk tales, and haunted places having to do with the ocean, and where you can go to see and experience them. Think of it as Rick Steves meets Ghost Hunters, with a little bit of Point Break thrown in. (The original, not that piece-of-shit remake.) Also, I need to finish the nature film I made last year and promote it. Goal: one webisode and two podcasts a month. I have no idea how to do a podcast, btw, so the learning curve should be…interesting. But I really want to stretch myself creatively and explore some new ideas. Inspiration/reference: Captain Jack Sparrow. So... Here we go...

I will absolutely continue with the story element here, because I enjoy it. I will, however, save it for the beginning of the challenge on Monday. In the meantime, here are my goals and whatnot! 1.) Main Fitness Quest My three goal-achieving-type-little-goals-that-add-up-to-a-bigger-goal-goals: All scoring assumes i.) Mine, shovel, chop, and hoe except on S Days (Saturdays, Sundays, and Special Days). Shovelglove! I will shug for at least 14 minutes per weekday. I feel so much stronger since I started doing this three months ago that I have trouble believing it. I poke my traps a lot. I'm not sure when I had traps installed. Easy scoring: __/20. [+2 STR | +2 STA] ii.) Bicycling Through Time and Space is the name of a trilogy of really goofy but particularly fun books about a guy from California who can travel through time and space using an alien-implanted 22nd gear on his Nishiki mountain bike. Ride a bicycle for 30 minutes except, as above, on S Days. Unless I want to. No rule about intensity, and no upward time limit. All that running stuff last challenge cut into my bicycle time pretty hard. It's winter here, so I'll probably be either on my winterized Kuwahara Eclipse MTB, or on my heavily modified Body Break kludge-o-cycle with the cadence meter made with a $10 cyclometer and free math. If I'm lucky, I'll get to sneak the Trek 1.2 out here and there. If I really can't snag a bicycle for some reason, I'll find something else to do. __/20. [+2 STA | +2 DEX | +1 CHA] iii.) This is my first directly weight-related goal on this site. Ever. Eat at a calorie deficit as if to lose 1 lb. per week. This is a deficit of 500 calories a day. It really shouldn't be hard to stay away from junk food (most of the time, anyway) and stuffing myself to the gills. Besides, my other goals will add at least a handful of calories back in each day; in theory, that's what this Fitbit HR is for. __/28. [+2 CON | +2 WIS] 2.) LIFE SIDE QUEST Draw every day. I have a sketchbook. I am playing with brush pens, but that part could change. I love cartooning. Why am I not drawing more often? For the purposes of this challenge, I will ink without doing pencils first. I'll illustrate my update each day. The pictures will be black and white, because colouring takes ages, and isn't what I feel like I need to mess with right now. I will share said drawings here. __/42. [+2 CHA] As per normal, I'm going to determine scores based on percentage ranges, more or less like on my childhood report cards. A = 86-100% | B = 73-85% | C = 66-72% | D = 51-65% | F = 0-50% 3) MOTIVATION This:

Well I'm back from my epic hike over New Years which involved a good deal of cliff edge hiking. See the website here if you are interested in the wow factor http://www.threecapestrack.com.au/ and here for my blog review (be nice, It's my first real blog) https://justgetmoving.wordpress.com/2016/01/08/three-capes-track-tasmania/ but . . . Last year I spend most of January hiking and biking in New Zealand and when I got back I fell into a big hole. A 10kg hole in fact! I did manage to peg some of this back but I need to avoid this in 2016. I already have the next epic hike in mind and I need to be getting fitter, not fatter! So what to do? The three weeks of this challenge coincides with me being back at work, but before the start of term (I work in a school) which is it's own nice period of time. A perfect time to get into a good rhythm before the madness of the start of another school year. Fitness Goals: One big hike each week (1 per week) This was helpful in my last challenge and was fairly easy to achieve. One longer walk or hike on the weekend, with our without a pack. Just Get Moving (4 per week) Is the title of my new blog and mantra for 2016. I have plenty of opportunities to squeeze in a walk or gym session at work and have the option of a before or after work bike ride or walk. Food Goals: Log daily and in advance. (7 per week) MFP is the tool and I am in the habit now. I'm going for a streak record but I'm not too concerned. I'm not going to set any macro goals but I will be taking notice of them at this stage. I'm aiming for under 100g carbs but it isn't a firm goal this challenge. Life Goals: One of the reasons that I feel I often fall in a hole after spending time doing something out of my comfort zone is that I then fall into the habits of those closer to home. Here I am aiming to spend time with positive role models Catch up with a real world friend (1 per week) Be more present on NF (3 post per week including comment on others posts)

Jothra opened his eyes, immediately regretted it, and closed them again. His head felt a pain unlike any known form of pain. He decided to just lie here and hope he didn't get eaten while he waited for the thudding headache to subside. He heard a weird snorting noise nearby. It didn't sound like any of the slurpasaurs or dromeosaurs he had been getting used to. Despite his aching everything, he took a look. He blinked once or twice to make sure he wasn't seeing things. "Oh, great," he moaned. "Just great." Was it some kind of zombie? It was green and disgusting, wearing tattered clothing, and grunting angrily. It walked towards Jothra with a surprisingly smooth gait, it's arms outstretched for either a hug or a face-rending. "Quick question!" Jothra asked groggily. "Hug or face-rending?" "Grunt!" "Friend or foe?" "Grunt!" "Fair enough. That's a false dichotomy. Can I count on your utter ambivalence?" "Grunt!" "Alright. I'll just run then," said Jothra, staggering to his feet. He wasn't very fast, but he managed to drop the zombie thing soon enough. "Great, then," he gasped for breath. "Hungry now." * * * * A short time later, Jothra found what he had been looking for: food. There was only one problem: zombies. Jothra could plainly see a pile of bread sitting on the ground, but it was, just as clearly, surrounded by zombies. What was an aspiring world-saving hero to do? Just then, a large hand clamped down on his shoulder. Jothra was roughly turned around to stare into an ugly, ogre-like face. It's owner had clearly never brushed its teeth, or its hair, or any of the weird bristles growing out of its nose, ears, and other nose. "You bin sent to work the mines," the creature growled. "Stay still while I tag ye 'nd scan ye." The creature took a small sevice from its belt, and scanned Jothra from top to bottom. From this it built a profile, and saved the information to the central Mine Escapee database, just in case Jothra was crazy enough to try to escape. "Now, ye belongs tuh me, Ye et when I say you et. Ye rest when I say ye rest. Ye..." He didn't finish the thought. It had taken the creature some time to realize that something was amiss, and some more time to realize that the amiss thing was that it no longer had a hold of Jothra. It took even longer to realize that Jothra had stolen its sword, taken care of the knot of zombies, taken the bread, made a torch from a handy branch and some charcoal, and taken off into the darkening night. "Aw well. The naight will finish 'im off," shrugged the creature, shuffling back to the safety of its evil mines. How will Jothra survive in the Far Lands? Well, by livin' the Minecraft life, of course! 1.) Main Fitness Quest My three goal-achieving-type-little-goals-that-add-up-to-a-bigger-goal-goals: i.) Mine, shovel, chop, and hoe except on S Days (Saturdays, Sundays, and Special Days). Shovelglove! I'll be mimicking most every Minecraft action at some point in the 14 minute daily Shovelglove routine. To keep myself from overdoing, I will also get a point for each S Day I rest, and lose one for each S Day I Shovelglove. Easy scoring: __/42. [+3 STR | +2 STA] ii.) Run everywhere because that's what I do in Minecraft. It means going through more food in-game, but it sure makes survival easier. Follow the Three Weeks to 30 Minutes running program. If I feel like I need to repeat some days, I will. When through the program, I will do a check-in to see how I'm faring, and decide how to continue the running part of the challenge from there. Again, points for taking my rest days, Easy scoring: __/42. [+2 STA | +2 DEX | +1 CHA] iii.) Don't just stand and get et, and don't starve to death, moron. No Adjective Dieting for me. I'll meet a Fitbit Charge HR-recorded 10,000 steps a day and maintain a calorie deficit. __/42. [+2 CON | +1 WIS] 2) LIFE SIDE QUEST Read every day. Internet doesn't count. [Reading at school still doesn't count.] __/42. [+1 WIS | +1 CHA] I'm going to determine scores based on percentage ranges, more or less like on my childhood report cards: A = 86-100% | B = 73-85% | C = 66-72% | D = 51-65% | F = 0-50% 3) MOTIVATION I know it isn't as Minecrafty as the rest of the challenge, but... Run. ...I do own a shocking number of Flash logo technical shirts. Good luck, everyone!

OMG IT'S HERE IT'S HERE IT'S HERE [jumps up and down clapping like a seal] It's the new challenge!!!!! I'm modestly calling this one.... **** DJ Trippy T CRACKS THE COMBINATION!**** Because in this episode, I am almost 73% convinced that I know what the hell I am doing, and am going to put all the pieces and bits together in a magical formula that will make me successful, wealthy, and alluring. Or at least better at crossfit. Let's do it! Per usual with my challenges, I have a workout section, a food section, and a Paleo hack, plus this time an additional lifestyle adjustment that's coming along for the ride. I just need to line all the tumblers up correctly and... BAM! Workouts: THE FUN STUFF 2 - 3 x week cycling (not training for a particular event so this is just maintenance/enjoyment riding). Scheduled for my bike fit this Friday, so hopefully this will ease up my knee pain. Or maybe I'll just transition to riding one of those giant tricycles like old folks have in Florida. I bet those are easy on the knees. 3-4 x week in gym - still with crossfit style workouts, but going to throw in one straight strength workout every other week - probably squats, as that’s the real power-builder. I may start posting workouts below the spoiler so I don’t bore everyone to death, since they’re always pretty similar. You can only post about doing 150 squats in a row so many times. Which I did, on Sunday, by the way (preens shamelessly). Walking: I'm going to add a lot of walking to this challenge: my goal is to walk 200 miles in the six weeks (which isn’t nearly as bad as it sounds; it’s like 4 miles a day, or two laps around the neighborhood.) I know everyone has probably read that book “Born to Run†about how humans are designed for running, but I actually really believe that humans are born to WALK. Seriously, if you get just a bit of practice in, you can literally just walk all day with no adverse effects. So I’m adding this as a way to get some outdoor time, do some easy, zone 2, fat burning activity, and burn a few extra calories without risking overtraining injury or burnout. It will also help prep me for an extensive hiking trip I’m planning next fall. If I can get thru this challenge workout-wise without, um, dying, I am going to register for an OCR, and you can all watch me flail in the mud. FOOD: Ah, this is the key, and I am sooooo close to figuring this out. I really believe that there’s no one diet/exercise plan that works for everyone, and I think that there’s some survivorship bias on every single diet plan. In other words, I know a bunch of people that seem to do super well on vegan, all- natural, super light diets with a ton of yoga, and try to convince me to do it, but they all have the same long, slender body type and probably would just thrive on that diet even without trying to turn themselves into a human paper clip. I also know some ultra-runner and biker types that swear they do fine chugging down powerbars and gels and super high-carb stuff, but again I think they probably have the right metabolism for it, and also that they are burning SO many calories that it really doesn’t matter what they are eating, just that they are eating EVERYTHING in an attempt to keep ahead of their metabolic demand. (then there are people like my boyfriend that seem to thrive on a steady diet of Bugles and chicken wings, and I just don’t even know what to say about that other than it pisses me off.) For myself, as what could laughably be referred to as a power athlete, I seem to work best on a *fairly* low-carb diet, and for ages I assumed I did best on two meals a day, but last challenge I experimented with 4-5 meals a day and was surprised to find I really liked it and felt a lot more energetic on it. (which is not to say it wasn’t a pain in the ass.) I also experimented with a lot more carbs (200-250 grams as day) and that didn’t work out so hot. So this time around I am going to combine and refine both those ideas; eat smaller meals 4 times a day, but keep my carb count around 130-150 daily, except for long bike ride days, as I need more gas in the tank for those. Also, stop eating after 5 pm, as this is an easy calorie restrictor, and I’ve read that women tend to better with food restriction in the evening rather than the morning. I won't do that every day, though. I’m also going to experiment with eliminating cheat days. If I’m staying low(er) carb I should be able to eat about what I want quantity-wise, and I find that periodically loading up on carby junk is just a disaster for me - I get sluggish and sleepy, I feel like crap the next day, and I start craving junk again within 48 hours. So I’m going to go the six weeks straight thru, and see if I can break that cycle. Side note: I wrote this part out the day before Steve put his “Why Cheat Days Suck†or whatever article out, and now I feel like I’m a genius. (preens shamelessly) Paleo: Be the caveman. Cavechick. Whatever. I am, as I often mention, one of those Paleo weirdos, and my challenges would not be complete without me trying to work in some flaky Paleo biohack. This time around, I want to try magnesium baths (i.e. soaking my feet in epsom salts and warm water, to absorb the magnesium), and eating more fermented foods (note: this does not include beer, pumpkin or otherwise). Lifestyle: This is a bit different from the normal challenge stuff, but I want to bring - not a lifestyle improvement, exactly, but a lifestyle revamp to my challenge, in that I want to steer my career in a different direction. I currently work in the production side of TV & advertising, which is nice in that I freelance and theoretically can work/not work as I see fit (this does not always work out in practical reality), but the further I move up the production side of the chain, the further I get from the creative side and into the accounting side. And while I may not know what, exactly, I was put on this earth to do, I am fairly certain that staring at excel spreadsheets all day isn’t it. So I want to move out of the production side, and start establishing myself as a director. I made my first film last year (which I’m still editing) that I was the co-director and writer of, and I want to do some more projects like that, and also start a web series. I have two in mind; one on compact living, tiny houses, and minimalism, which are subjects that I'm personally obsessed with; and another on outdoor travel with a twist. I want to work on a sponsored adventure series that I have been playing with for a while, where I drum up support for a charity while doing some sort of outdoor thingy. (I know that sounds really specific). The first one I have in mind is to do a combo kayak/bicycle transit of the Florida Keys (kayak from Key Largo to Key West, then bike back) and in the process raise money for The Turtle Hospital, which is a sea turtle rescue center in the middle keys. My plan is to raise a certain amount (or get sponsors) to cover costs on the trip, and then the rest goes to the charity. So in this case, if the trip costs are probably close to $1500 (there will be 3 people involved, transportation, rent the kayaks, etc) so I would set a goal of $12,000 - so that we could make a 10k or more donation to the Turtles. I originally planned to do it next fall, but I decided to move the timetable up, as time and turtle waits for no man. Or woman. I know that sounds nuts, but really, why not swing for the fences, right? Right. Obviously this is not something that will happen in one six week challenge; but it takes time to turn the boat, and if I start putting it out to the Universe now, I can start making progress. And it'll give me some accountability. Ummmmm…. okay, I think that’s it. I guess I should go walk now, and start logging some miles...bonding with some turtles... etc. (This last image has nothing to do with my challenge; it was just too funny not to use.)

Author's Note: While I took a lot of influence from WALL-E, this challenge takes place on an Earth of my own creation. You can think of it as a fairly standard post-apocalyptic setting, with renegade machines taking the place of mutants. The Wall-E characters do not exist in this setting. Tonight would be the night I'd been planning for almost a year; the night of my escape. I double-checked my provisions to ensure everything was in order. All was in place. I pressed the button on my chair, calling my robot. It responded quickly, awaiting my commands. "I'm feeling in much better health tonight, my good robot." I said. "I'd like to throw a party! Go fetch John, Luca, Sarah, and Terrence for me. And bring a bucket of fried chicken for us. Family-sized. Actually, bring the bucket first; I'm feeling peckish." The robot looked happy, as much as a robot could, and rushed off to carry out my commands. I wasn't surprised at its happiness. After all, I was wasting away, my appetite dwindling far below what was normal and healthy for a human. Or so everyone thought. After all, when one loses weight and declines seconds on the Axiom, nobody expects it to be a deliberate decision. I'd been losing weight for almost a year now, in preparation. The bucket arrived, and the robot left to collect my friends. Friends who just so happened to live as far away from my cabin as possible, in completely opposite directions. I swiftly dumped the chicken out of the bucket and hopped out of my chair. Reaching under the bed, I grabbed the provisions I had stored, and put as much as I could into the bucket. Pocketing my MiniTablet, I left the room. I ran through nearly deserted back corridors, only the occasional cleaning or service robot noticing me. None of them even glanced, used to serving people in their chairs, rather than people moving swiftly without them. Within a few minutes, I'd reached my destination; the Museum of Ancient Technology. When I first recognised the object I was here for now on my research, I couldn't believe it. It was one of the most valuable items I'd ever seen, the key to my survival on the surface. A bionic enhancement, capable of turning a slow-moving human like myself into a superhuman, capable of travelling dozens of miles in a day. 10 miles per hour or more; an unheard of speed without motorised assistance, and significantly more downhill if the old vids were to be believed. The bionic cyclotron, or bicycle. I removed the velvet rope. There was no going back now; the alarm began sounding as I put my supplies in the attached basket, and hopped on. I promptly fell off with a crash. I'd never ridden a free-standing bicycle before. My only practice was on the old stationary machines in the unused gym, stolen hours in the dead of night. Remembering the vids I'd studied, the people who rode it tended to start pedalling immediately. That must activate the bike's balancing magnets or something. I righted the bike and tried it. I was moving! It was very wobbly, and I felt like I was going to fall off again at any second, but I was moving. As I picked up speed, some unknown mechanism stabilised the cycle, and I began wobbling less. I'd selected a route to the escape pods that was mostly straight, knowing I'd have trouble turning. I pedalled down the main corridor now, choosing speed over stealth, and trusting that the robots wouldn't know what to do when they encountered a person actually riding a bicycle. Certainly the humans in their chairs didn't know how to react, staring at me as though I'd grown a second head as I pedalled by. A couple of very slow turns later, and I had arrived at the pods. I chose a big one, big enough to fit me and the bicycle, and shut the door. Fortunately, the interface was virtually idiot-proof, and I quickly had it set on a course for a place nobody on the Axiom had visited in living memory. The surface. Earth.

A little bit about me, courtesy of Mini #1: I'm Yvonne, I'm 29 years old and live in the outskirts of Washington DC known as Northern Virginia. I'm married to an amazing nerdy guy who likes to push me to go biking and work out even when I don't wanna, and who and eats all my hippy paleo food without complaint. We have two twin ginger cats - Fred and George - and are thinking about adding a small human to our family within the next year or two, which is part of my motivation to get healthy. I went to a small college out in Illinois called Knox College where I majored in Computer Science, and now I work at a small company as a front end website developer. I love doing community theater; I'm currently in show for young audiences (Puss in Boots) and a charity performance parody of the X-Files, and I perform in and direct an improv troupe. 2 Truths and 1 Lie (feel free to guess in the comments!): I still have one of my baby teethI met my husband during a road trip from Chicago to New YorkI am terrified of chickens and will freak out if I'm anywhere near one It’s September and that means school is back in session at Hogwarts! Main Quest: Lose weight, be a smoking hot Wizard. Motivation: This is my last full challenge before I leave for The Wizarding World of Harry Potter in November. I’ll be spending a week between there and Disneyworld and I want to dress up, DisneyBound, take tons of pictures, and enjoy these memories without having negative body image holding me down. My goal is be at 150lbs by the time we leave. As of now, I have 8 weeks and about 9lbs to lose, so the pressure is on! In order to achieve my main quest, I’m enrolling in four classes this term at Hogwarts: Potions: 100% Primal Diet (CON 3, WIS 1) Recipe for a perfect potion: No grains, legumes, or added sugarNo more than 3 servings of dairy a weekNo more than 2 compliant alcoholic beverages per weekNo more than 1 starchy vegetable per dayThis is a Pass/Fail only class! Flying: Bike 100 miles (STA 3, DEX 1) Proper flying technique can only be achieved through practice! Throughout the term, students will log 100 miles on thier broom bicycle. Outstanding: 100 miles! Exceeds Expectations: 75+ miles Acceptable: 60+ miles Dreadful: 40+ miles Troll: Less than 40 miles Transfiguration: Follow the Stronglifts 5x5 Program (STR 3, STA 1) The art of turning something into something else – in this case, fat into muscle! Follow the Stronglifts 5x5 regimen to increase muscle and burn fat. This class should be attended 3 times a week. Outstanding: 18 sessions Exceeds Expectations: 15 sessions Acceptable: 12 sessions Dreadful: 6 sessions Troll: Less than 6 sessions Charms: Downsize 25% of clothing (CHA 2) This class will be focused on Banishing and Mending charms: over the course of the term, students should successfully banish 25% of their wardrobe and practice mending charms when needed. For a passing OWL, every item of clothing must be evaluated, 25% of clothing will be donated, and no items requiring mending will remain. A revision schedule of clothing areas to work on has been provided below the cut: Outstanding: All 5 areas cleared Exceeds Expectations: 4 areas cleared Acceptable: 3 areas cleared Dreadful: 2 areas cleared Troll: 0 - 1 areas cleared Charms Extra Credit: Put together one Disney/Hogwarts Bounding outfit per week - take a photo and share with the class! (CHA 1)

The door opened for the first time in months. Years? It was hard to keep track in the darkness of the cell. Well, maybe cell. For all he knew, it could be a wine cellar, a regular cellar, or even an underground phone booth. It really was awfully dark. As the bright sunlight seared into his squinting eyes, his hand slipped slowly to the jagged, broken piece of 1x4 he had broken from the floor ages ago. It had taken a long time to sharpen it to a point by rubbing it on the rough stone walls, but time had never been at a premium in the darkness. Stone walls? That should have tipped me off, he thought. Not a phone booth. Dummy. He prepared himself for a leap, though he was almost completely certain he wasn't up to fighting his way past anyone more dangerous than a punch-drunk mallard. “Oh, put that away,†said a thin, creaky voice above him. In the glare, the voice was far more defined than the silhouetted body from which it issued. “I know you've been down there ages, and you've never known who or what was eventually going to open this door, but how much damage do you think a sun-blinded man in a hole can do to a person standing four metres above him? Besides...you have been here before.†“Fair point,†said the man in the hole. Then, to the voice's surprise, the former captive pounced. The voice's training kicked in, and in seconds, the man known as Daikaiju Jothra was laid out on the ground, gasping for breath, and wondering how his makeshift weapon had ended up the in the hands of an old man. Once he regained his composure — not to mention his wind — Jothra practiced his shouting. “I'll eventually care who you are, but I think first I'd like to know why I've been trapped in a big hole in the ground, and who's going to pay for it!†The shape at the top of the pit had slowly been forming itself into a bearded old man. His robes were old and worn, but immaculately maintained. His dim grey eyes seemed ages younger than the rest of his face, flashing from under the floppy brim of his cartoonishly pointy hat. His left hand held a familiar-looking brown sling pack. After a pause, conveniently long enough to allow even the slowest of readers a chance to finish reading this paragraph, he finally spoke. “I am here...from the Rebellion.†“That's great, but I told you--†“My fellow elders and I have been seeking you for a long time. You have disappointed us, and let yourself fall into your old ways. But we still need you to complete our mission.†The old man made a strange, strained expression, and the man in the pit suddenly found himself rising, as the floor below him moved improbably up to ground level. “You were lured here by Ogrod the Dreaded, the dictator and ruler of all Lodbrok. Again. The way I understand it, he had an easier go of it than he did the first time he locked you in a hole.†The man in the no-longer-a-pit stared a seething stare. The old man sighed. “Do you care nothing for the planet Lodbrok? What of the time and resources we spent rescuing you one year ago? What about the training? What of all of our hopes and dreams? You have failed us all, as much as you have failed yourself!†“Have I, now?†the former pit dweller sneered. “Who do you think you are? And just who do you think I am?†“Your name is Jothra! You were once a strong scout on your native world, before Ogrod managed to snare you in this trans-dimensional interplanetary trap! When you were once freed, you showed potential, but you spurned it for a life of sloth and ignorance, and became ensnared in exactly the same net again! Now you are free — again — and this time, we are not sure how to proceed. Are we to drag you, kicking and screaming, to a training prison? What say you?.†The old man handed Jothra the sling pack. “This is your satchel, of course. It is the same one we rescued from Ogrod's vaults last time. It is mere luck that lives weren't lost in its recapture. It is empty at present, just as you...†Jothra did not try to hide his scornful sneering as the old man's words trailed off. The old man's brow creased in worried confusion. “Your timepiece is on your right wrist.†He pointed a bony finger to Jothra's wristwatch. “You...you are right handed.†He looked down at Jothra's left shin. “...And where is your scar...the one from the bicycle crash? It should not have faded so soon, unless...†“Good job, Holmes,†Jothra sneered. His right fist connected with the old man's right eye. Jothra grabbed the bag, since it seemed like a waste to leave it with a future dusty corpse, and strode shakily away. He would need to regain his strength to do what must be done. “You're forgetting! There is one other thing!†shouted the old man A piercing, animal scream came from somewhere much too close to Jothra's left ear. He dropped the satchel, and turned just in time to see a dark black maw with jagged white teeth around its edges. Then he was done seeing things for more or less ever, with the exception of the inside of a giant carnivorous lizard. “Run,†said the old man, grabbing the bag, and fading from sight. * * * “You are sure?†asked another old man. “Yes,†replied the old man, addressing all seven of his bearded, old man colleagues. In the middle of the round table sat Jothra's satchel. “But how is this possible?†queried another old man. A throat cleared. All eyes swivelled to the most ragged but robustly healthy of them all. “We know that it is possible, because that is what we have before us,†said the haggard old man. “The evidence is clear. The man we found and released today was not Jothra. He was the Evil Jothra that Ogrod created shortly after we first found the real Jothra last year. Somehow, Ogrod was fooled into burying his own minion in a deep, dark prison, and throwing away the key.†There was silence around the Rebellion Old Men Council's planning table. This situation was not one for which they had prepared. Never in their wildest dreams had they imagined that the man they had found in the prison could be anyone but Jothra. Now they all shared one question, and they dared not voice it, because they knew that no-one at the table had an answer. Where the hell was the actual Jothra? I disappeared from NF a year-ish ago, but I've been busy since. I've lost 25 lbs., and increased my leg strength and stamina an awful lot. I've earned my Alberta Permanent Teaching Certificate. I've gone on an Alberta and B.C. National and Provincial Parks crawl. I've scrambled a moderate peak. Most recently, I cycled 95 km from Vulcan to Lethbridge for a pizza. Now I am back because I want to keep working. Ride bicycle. Complete Darebee's Hero's Journey bodyweight strength program. Read books. "Conquers the Underlying Symbolism of Everything" is a reference to every exercise in the Hero's Journey program representing a fictional action in a continuing story. Also, it gave me an excuse to use a clip from the old Muppet promo reel. 1.) Main Quest I've lost weight, and increased my stamina. Everything is easier now. I want more. My three goal-achieving-type-little-goals-that-add-up-to-a-bigger-goal-goals: i.) Ride a bicycle three days a week. My road cadence has moved from generally-high-60s to generally-low-80s, and it's made life better. Road bike until snow, then winterized MTB or stationary bike (I call it the Modified Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper, because it has been modified to hell and back). Easy scoring: __/18. [+3 STA | +2 DEX] ii.) Run the Hero's Journey workout from Darebee every day. I should be able to do this during my lunch break while the kids are gone. If this goes well, I may try the Pandora workouts when my 60 days of Hero's Journey are up. Easy scoring here, too: __/42. [+3 STR | +1 DEX | +1 CHA] iii.) Maintain a minimum activity level, and watch how much I stuff down my food receptacle. No Adjective Dieting for me. I'll meet a Fitbit Charge HR-recorded 12,000 steps a day (a step up from my previous base at 10,000) maintain a calorie deficit. __/42. [+2 CON | +1 WIS] 2) LIFE SIDE QUEST Read every day. Internet doesn't count. [EDIT: reading at school doesn't count either.] __/42. [+1 WIS | +1 CHA] I'm going to determine scores based on percentage ranges, more or less like on my childhood report cards: A = 86-100% | B = 73-85% | C = 66-72% | D = 51-65% | F = 0-50% 3) MOTIVATION This same post-it is still on my door. It's been there since I very first found the NF forums. I will post today's results later on tonight. Good luck, everyone!

This challenge is going to be a little different from my previous challenges, which usually involve riding further, lifting heavier, eating cleaner, and lots of lame jokes. If you followed my last challenge you know I was in a fairly serious bicycling accident mid-challenge, involving my face, a concrete curb, a broken cheekbone and various bits of frankenstein-like stitchery (awesome addition to the scar collection, I must say), and then I had to really bust my butt to get it back together in time for my big cycling event over Labor day weekend. Which - with the love and support of the Nerds- went magnificently. So while it’s nice to know that I am able to put the hammer down when necessary, I also feel like I deserve a bit of a recovery/comeback phase. Also, I was just kind of tired and burnt out when I originally wrote this out the week before I fucking KILLED IT before I succeeded on my metric ride, and I was really nervous and in a dark place. I’m really jazzed up again now and looking at this recovery phase as a positive idea to help me take a great leap forward, not just because I want to hide under the bed. I have four goals for this challenge: Workouts: In the gym, I have worked out a new lifting program, that involves less weight, more reps. I put on a lot of mass over the last two challenges and I want to lean out some. 3 days a week on the new program, can cut back to two if I get busy. For the bike, 2-3 bike rides a week, with a CAP of 60 miles/3 rides total for the week. Oh, I said it. I want to work on shorter rides done better, rather than long rides ending with me begging for death. Also, I swore I’d never do an event ride longer than 40 miles again, and I am sticking to that particular gun. At least for now. It just takes too much time and actually takes away from the enjoyment of the activity. I’m going to get a professional bike fitting, too. It’s pricey, but I’m worth it. Food: This will be the big experiment of the challenge. I usually just count carbs and only eat twice a day. This time I'm going to try eating 4-5 meals, but smaller, like a bodybuilder. I’ve had a really hard time accepting that idea. And I say that as someone who loves to eat. But we'll see what happens, especially since it will help me get my nutrients. - As an addendum to this goal, I want to start cooking again. I am actually a really good cook and I collect cookbooks, but I had gotten into the MUST BE MAXIMALLY EFFICIENT AT ALL TIMES mindset and was doing a ton of prep cooking, meal replacement, etc that didn’t make me any healthier (edited to add: actually, it probably did) and made me feel like a cyborg, and frankly I just kind of miss puttering in the kitchen. (I did appreciate the lack of dishes, however). So I am going to go back to that. I am anticipating some long evenings sequestered with Mario Batali more than I care to admit. I'll probably do a mix of meal prep and then fresh cooking. Paleo Recovery: Be the caveman. Well, cavewoman. I’m one of those Paleo weirdos, and I want to implement some Paleo stuff that I think will improve recovery. Three ideas: increased sleep, hopefully including a daily nap (finally, an excuse to nap!), 1 hour outdoors per day to get some sunshine and Vitamin D, and no electronics (and hopefully a firepit/candlelight) an hour before bed. I’m super bad about dicking around on the phone/ipad until right before I go to sleep. Leopard print clothing, pet mastodon and bone thru nose will be optional. See? Bad jokes already! Which leads me to my fourth goal: DON’T FUCKING OBSESS. My last few challenges have been great (two of them have been really super successful) but I feel like I need to step back and ease up a tad. Even professional athletes have an off-season. And let’s face it, there’s no shoe contract riding on this, nor will having abs suddenly make me a better person or solve all my problems (except the problem of my pants won’t fit). There’s no expiration date on my ass self-improvement. If it takes me two more challenges, or four, or whatever, to get super fly, then that’s just that much more time to hang out with you fine people and make bad puns. (That part of my old challenges will continue. Sorry) Finally, I want to give myself a small treat each week, in the “Treat Yo’ Self†vein. Something small, inexpensive, but luxurious - a manicure (I never get manicures), a soak in the hot tub at the korean spa (I have a gift card that’s been languishing in my wallet for months), a book, an outdoor yoga class, some nice pens… you get the idea. Just something small and treat-like. Can’t be food, that’s the only rule. Food is not treats, food is food, and not to have good/bad ideation attached to it. That way madness lies. So I guess technically that’s five goals, but I don’t want to put pressure on the “treat†idea. ummmm… think that’s it. Follow along if you like, and I will reward you with occasional kitten pictures.

Episode 2 of The Journey for the Fastest Known Time. Where will it take us? Lets ask Socrates! Goal #1 - "There are no ordinary moments" Socrates has Dan Millman meditate for what is described as hours, than days, searching for something inspiring, something moving. He tries many times and than comes up with "there are no ordinary moments." When I'm running I usually have my phone tracking where I go, and constantly providing noise with background music. The music seems to help, but the tracking doesn't seem to yield a lot of changes. For this challenge runkeeper will be kept in stopwatch mode, and will only track the time passed. Distance will have no meaning. Each week = +10 points! CON = +3 Goal #2 - “The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.†Meditation is the cultivation of the mind, as running has been the cultivation of my body. I've tried meditation before, but what if I approached easing into meditation the same way I approached running? For this challenge meditation will look like this - 2 days - 10 minutes per day Each day this is done = +5 points! 1 day - 20 minutes Each day this is done = +15 points! WIS = +4 Goal #3 - Running with Joy Well, not running but biking in this case. The point was for him to practice his breathing and staying in the moment. To help me practice my breathing, Instead of a long run I am going to be doing a long bike ride once per week, as long as my running schedule would include 1 long day. Each week this is done when it is supposed to be done = +25 points! STA = +3 So what does that look like? Week 1 - 2 x 30 minutes running 2 x 10 minutes meditating 1 x 30 minutes meditating Week 2 - 2 x 30 minutes running 1 x 30 minutes climb 2 x 10 minutes meditating 1 x 30 minutes meditating Week 3 - 2 x 45 minutes running 1 x 2 hour biking 3 x convict 2 x 30 minutes climbing 2 x 10 minutes meditating 1 x 30 minutes meditating Week 4 - 2 x 45 minutes running 1 x 2 hour biking 3 x convict 2 x 30 minutes climbing 2 x 10 minutes meditating 1 x 30 minutes meditating Week 5 - 2 x 1 hour running 1 x 2.5 hour biking 3 x convict 2 x 30 minutes climbing 2 x 10 minutes meditating 1 x 30 minutes meditating Week 6 - 2 x 30 minutes running 1 x 45 minutes biking 2 x convict 2 x 10 minutes meditating 1 x 30 minutes meditating Each week will be evaluated with points. If there are multiple parts to a post, each one will be evaluated seperately. At the end of the challenge, those points will be added up to see how my character has leveled up!

Hey! What's up everyone? I'm Spandees, I think I chose that name because I am the weird person rolling down the road wearing Spandex. On a bike, I don't have some crazy magical ability to ride a unicycle. That's just impossible. Anyway! I actually wanted to post here because I feel I need to join the community and become accountable to my promises, because I promise things, and then I come home and go, "nah, I don't need to ___. I'm so tired from work. I'll do something tomorrow." I have no motivation, I should say, which I need. So! In accordance with Nerd Fitness custom, i shall tell you I am a human build, just normal size. My diet resembles shotgun scatter! I will eat pizza in the morning, brussel sprouts for lunch, and a piece of toast for dinner. I used to work out around twice a week, now not even that. My last workout was over two weeks ago. I started here because I knew Nerd Fitness would accompany my thoughts and get me more focused on my health. I am a college student and often health is quite far in the back of the list, after passing all 5 classes, getting into nursing school, working, and socializing. However, I know that health can make all other activities even more enjoyable, even if becoming healthier involves giving up time from other parts of life. Besides that serious part, I love books! And I am also very scatterbrained and yes, just to reiterate, I ride road bikes. Anyone else in cycling? But I am also very into strength training and hope to incorporate both into my eventual exercise program.

...suddenly a hand, reaching down below the waves and taking mine. For a split second I considered not taking it. I really had given up, given in to the sea. But something in me awoke, and I grabbed at it like my life depended on it. Which it did, so that made sense. Someone's strong arms fought the current that was taking me under and, nearly ripping my arms out of their sockets, hauled me onto deck. We both lay there, panting, one of us surprised to have saved a life, the other pretty taken aback to have been saved. I blinked up at the sun and felt the roll of the ship. All right then, life, I thought, let's have another crack at this. First up, we have to get strong. Goal 1: Get the running habit. Twice a week at least. Preferably three times. Doesn't need to be far or fast, but I need to put on running kit and spend a bit of time with alternate feet off the floor. Goal 2: Strength workouts. Twice a week. Simple, bodyweight workouts or yoga. Goal 3: No snacking. Three squares a day. Life goal: Writing. 500 words a day on the play I'm working on. That'll do for now. Points to be allocated once we're halfway through the challenge. Boom.

Apparently I posted this in the last challenge, whoops! Episode 2 of The Journey for the Fastest Known Time. Where will it take us? Lets ask Socrates! Goal #1 - "There are no ordinary moments" Socrates has Dan Millman meditate for what is described as hours, than days, searching for something inspiring, something moving. He tries many times and than comes up with "there are no ordinary moments." When I'm running I usually have my phone tracking where I go, and constantly providing noise with background music. The music seems to help, but the tracking doesn't seem to yield a lot of changes. For this challenge runkeeper will be kept in stopwatch mode, and will only track the time passed. Distance will have no meaning. Goal #2 - “The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.†Meditation is the cultivation of the mind, as running has been the cultivation of my body. I've tried meditation before, but what if I approached easing into meditation the same way I approached running? For this challenge meditation will look like this - 2 days - 10 minutes per day 1 day - 30 minutes Goal #3 - Running with Joy Well, not running but biking in this case. The point was for him to practice his breathing and staying in the moment. To help me practice my breathing, Instead of a long run I am going to be doing a long bike ride once per week, as long as my running schedule would include 1 long day. So what does that look like? Week 1 - 2 x 30 minutes running 2 x 10 minutes meditating 1 x 30 minutes meditating Week 2 - 2 x 30 minutes running 1 x 30 minutes climb 2 x 10 minutes meditating 1 x 30 minutes meditating Week 3 - 2 x 45 minutes running 1 x 2 hour biking 3 x convict 2 x 30 minutes climbing 2 x 10 minutes meditating 1 x 30 minutes meditating Week 4 - 2 x 45 minutes running 1 x 2 hour biking 3 x convict 2 x 30 minutes climbing 2 x 10 minutes meditating 1 x 30 minutes meditating Week 5 - 2 x 1 hour running 1 x 2.5 hour biking 3 x convict 2 x 30 minutes climbing 2 x 10 minutes meditating 1 x 30 minutes meditating Week 6 - 2 x 30 minutes running 1 x 45 minutes biking 2 x convict 2 x 10 minutes meditating 1 x 30 minutes meditating

I had to give this a lot of thought - I didn't want to take on too much, but I also had some goals I wanted to add... and still need to keep a handle on the good habits I've been working on. After some contemplation though, I decided to go for the "All the things" route. Hey, this is supposed to be a challenge right?! Goal One Metrics: Calories: 1400-1700 Carbs: <100g Protein: >80g 1 point per item per day: A = 100+ B = 85+ C = 70+ D = 55+ F = <55 Goal Two Self-propulsion: I did a good job of getting in to a routine with both of these last challenge - this is just cementing the habit. Bike Commuting: 4x per week (1 pt for each way) Steps: 70,000 per week (1 pt per 10,000) A = 90+ B = 83+ C = 75+ D = 68+ F = <68 Goal Three Work out: This will probably be largely comprised of yoga, but substitutions are fine. 2x per week A = 12+ B = 10+ C = 8+ D = 6+ F = <6 Goal Four Hip Opening Work: I'm going to try this routine - it looks promising. May change it up as we go on, but I've GOT to do something to loosen up those hips! And I'm hoping making it an actual goal will help. 3x per week A = 18+ B = 15+ C = 12+ D = 9+ F = <9 Goal Five Kitchen Purge My cupboards are tiny, poorly organized, and way too full. Need to get rid of a bunch, and better sort the rest. This may happen in a binge session some weekend, or I might spread it out, we'll see. 8 cupboards A = 8+ B = 7+ C = 6+ D = 5+ F = <5

So the new challenge started early! I am sure someone at NF Headquarters heard me sobbing softly as I contemplated challenge withdrawl. I am so glad I had my challenge already sketched out on the back of a napkin (that may or may not have been from a doughnut shop... I'm not telling) Okay so here we go.... Yesssss... this challenge will be Sherlock Holmes themed! And more specifically, "Hound of the Baskervilles" because it's one of my favorite Holmes stories, and "Release the Hounds" jokes never get old. So in true detective fashion, let me lay out my case.... My main goal this challenge is to ride in, and more importantly COMPLETE, the metric century at the Savannah Century cycling event. If you've followed any of my other challenges, you know that I have made 4 attempts at a metric so far and have had to drop out of all of them at various distances. If my inability to finish the last 10 miles of these rides isn't a crime that needs investigating, I don't know what is. So almost all my training this time around will be focused on that one goal. The ride itself is Sept 6th, so that dovetails with this challenge nicely. My two prongs of attack - my Sherlock and my Watson, if you will - will be physical training and eating. I've gotten a TON fitter over my last challenges, and I'm really happy about that, but I need to drop some of the extra fluff WITHOUT compromising my performance. So I am not going to cut carbs ( I currently seem to need about 200 grams a day to sustain my workout load) but try source them intelligently, and investigate a small detail each week that may lead to a larger solution. (See what I did there? More bad detective allusions to come, I assure you!) Also, I'm going to ramp up my milage on the bike each week, because 62 miles is a long freaking way, and to amuse myself I'm going to track how many round trips between London and Devonshire (home of Baskerville Hall) I make over the six weeks. (It's 175 miles each way, in case you're interested.) My training plan looks like 2 gym workouts, 3 bike workouts per week. The bike workouts are one hilly ride, one intervals (speed) ride, and one long-ass why-am-I-doing-this ride. Here we go... WEEK ONE: The investigation begins! - I need to do a set of progress pics, a set of measurements, a body fat measurement, and a blood pressure check. "Data! I need Data! I cannot make bricks without clay!" Also I am going to start keeping a food diary and posting it here, so I can really get a handle on what I'm eating. (Spoiler: it's too much) I will hate this. Week one mileage goal: 80 miles. WEEK TWO: The Curse of the Baskervilles! Or in my case, The Curse of the Basket of Chips. In an attempt to eliminate empty carbs, I am going to go grain-free. I don't have any gluten issues, but I do tend to mindlessly munch pastries and chips, so I'm hoping this will force me to eat only nutritious carbs that fuel my workouts, rather than make me want to nap. Holmes made Watson go to Devonshire and send him reports while he investigated in town. In that spirit, I will do a measurement/pics report at the end of week 2. Week two mileage goal: 90 miles. WEEK THREE: THE LIGHT UPON THE MOOR One of the sub-mysteries in HOTB is the convict, Seldon, who is hidden on the moor by his family, Baskerville's servants. One of my personal sub-mysteries is how I am expending 4,000 calories a week and not getting any skinnier, and I suspect the culprit is liquid calories. I've gotten a bit too dependent on Gatorade during and after workouts, and lately I've been drinking soda here and there. So this week's goal is to cut out all liquid calories, with the exception of cream in my coffee in the AM, because I don't want to lose my will to live this early in the challenge. But I'm going to cut it to one-half cup a day. Week three mileage goal: 100 miles WEEK FOUR: FIXING THE NETS Sherlock refuses to arrest the villain in HOTB until he's cleared up all the loose ends. In that vein, I will use week four to get any residual sugar out of my diet (ketchup and BBQ sauce, I'm looking at you) and possibly give up cheese. This may be a hound too far, however. I will get a tune-up on my bike if I haven't done that already. Also, week four will be another Report from Doctor Watson (pics and measures) Week four mileage goals: 100 miles, with one 50 mile ride to prep for big ride. WEEK FIVE: RELEASE THE HOUNDS The Ride is at the end of this week (Sunday Sept 6th) and so I won't make any big changes this week, except to aim for 9 hours of sleep a night and taper my training so I am coiled like a spring and ready to go. WEEK SIX: A RETROSPECTIVE This week I will analyse my progress, do a final report (pics and measures), soak in a hot tub somewhere, and eat pizza. I will do the pics and measures before I eat the pizza, just like my IQ was normal. Well that was certainly exhaustive. If you're short on time, here's the cliff notes: I'm going to ride my bike a lot and not eat like a pig.

I've been doing this for more than a year now, and I saw great improvements last year. Then I hit the inevitable plateau and started backsliding. I want my body to be strong, flexible, and able to do things like pushups, pullups, and handstands. I want to be leaner. I can make it happen! Things: No S diet (no snacks 5x per week) Stretching (5x per week) Cycling or bodyweight + sledgehammer (5x per week) Self care (5x per week)#4 is something I've needed to do for a while. If you've been following me for a little while, you may know that I get a laughably small amount of sleep most days. I'm also incredibly stressed, though I try and ignore it most of the time. BONUS QUEST: Finish the papercraft cake I'm making for my sister's wedding!