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So I've been thinking a bit about this lately. I'm in my early twenties and I've sort of been casually dating people who I meet on tinder now and then but I don't really know how to take it forward with people I genuinely like. And I have never really dated anyone seriously, and I think a big part of that is how I feel about my body. A ) I always keep aspiring towards this level of ultimate hotness that I think will change everything for my romantic life but I know it won't. b ) I also know that there are so many people out there who are maybe not in the best shape but have healthy and happy dating lives/relationships, but I find this hard to apply this to my own life. I don't know, they also seem attractive to me. It's also really confusing, because it's difficult to perceive your own body the same way you perceive others'. There are plenty of people who are not in perfect shape who I find incredibly attractive. Which brings me to this open thread. How do you all do it? How do you date, while knowing that you are not in the shape you want to be in? How do you figure out whether you are the kind of person, physically, that people would want to date?

Well, last week was kind of crazy, which is why I didn't start my challenge early. I basically had no nights off, and attended my cousins wedding on Friday. I ate more than I should have because they had extrordinarily good food, but I partly made up for it with the dancing, plus I'd been so stressed all week I was barely eating enough. But now I need to get back to eating right. My big, long overview: Exercise: So far this year, my exercise goal has been to attend two exercise classes per week. I've been doing this successfully, and it's now a couple of months since it's been leaving me with extra energy. I've been experimenting with adding in more activity, but I think it's time to get serious about that, and make it a real routine. On week days with no class, I want to do a 15 minute version of Pavel's Simple and Sinister kettlebell workout (10 minutes warm up, 5 minutes Turkish getups alternating arms (up to 5 each side) or 5 minutes of swings. One reason I'm adding this now is that I've finally reached the point where the 25 pound kettlebell I bought last winter is comfortable for 2 handed swings (Yay!). The other reason is that last challenge, I put some nice mats down in my apartment and set up half of my bedroom as a workout area. I'm going with 15 minutes because that's an amount of time I absolutely have, no excuses, and it means I'll be picking up heavy things every day. The only time I'm out of town this challenge I'll be driving, so I can take my weights with me. I also want to ride my bike to work every day the weather isn't horrible. Bonus points for extra biking. I started this last challenge, but had to stop because it was hurting my back. I've got a new bike that allows me to sit more upright. I'm still working out how to set up the seat and handlebars for the most upright posture, but I can now do 5 miles with only a little tightness. The bike is an Electra Townie, which has the peddles significantly forward of the usual position. It's not designed for long fast rides, but I bet I can cover 50 miles a week. Music: I'm attending a fiddle camp for vacation at the end of June. I need to get back in practice before then. Last challenge I set the goal of learning a tune every week. It didn't quite happen (learned 2 instead of 5), so this time, the goal is learning an unspecified number of new tunes, and picking up the fiddle every single day, even if it's just to air play for 30 seconds before I leave the house or go to bed. Social: I mostly hang out either with family, or a single friend. I need more variety in my social circle. I also want to start dating. So over the next few months, I'm making goals to expand my social life. Diet: Back to tracking! I've been having too many days where I eat cookies, cake, and chocolate. I need to start writing it down so I can see when I do that, and remember not to. My Goals: Exercise: 2 Kettlebell classes per week (established since February) 3-5 Short strength workouts on my own: every weekday with no class, weekends optional. 3-5 days: bike to work at least 3 days a week, and every day the weather is nice. Music: Pick up the fiddle every day, even if it's just 30 seconds of scales or long tones. Learn one fiddle tune per week. Don't forget the ones I already learned. Social: I'm in my 30's, and have been on literally 3 dates in my life. Goal: sign up for match.com, and go on at least one date by the end of the challenge. Also get the cell phone numbers of a couple co-workers I walk with every day at lunch. Cleaning: 15 minutes a day. I kind of fell of the wagon on this last challenge, and it shows.

I’ve become a huge fan of Habitica, as it has really kept my habits and daily tasks on track. The quests and collecting of things is also motivating, as is not killing my party when I don’t do things. Thus, my monster-themed quest! Be forewarned, this is somewhat lengthy. Weapons Training In order to slay monsters, I must be fit and dextrous with my weapons. Training is comprised of: 50 squats per day [sugar craving squats count to this] 10 single leg balances per leg per day 2 weightlifting classes / wk [M, Sa] 2 strength workouts / wk [W + ? ] 1 yoga class / week [su] bonus points if I go to stretch class on Th Defeat the Sugar Demon I love carbs, and sugar, and donuts, and basically any dessert that doesn’t involve bananas. I also get mood swings and generally feel like crap when I eat these things. I did the 21DSD last month and I did not crave sugar while I was on it. In order to slay this Sugar Demon, I must: Do two 21DSDs with the following exceptions: Berries & oatmeal ok 2 drinks allowed on dates Drinks at Camp NF Mom’s birthday meal Attend 2 meetings / week Avoid stress / emotional eating Journal daily Meditate daily [even 2 min counts!] 20 squats whenever I want anything off plan Vanquish the Dating Anxiety Dragon Long story short, I have serious mental blocks when it comes to available men I do not know well and closing the deal. I shall vanquish this dastardly dragon by completing the following tasks: Message 5 men / day, except for week 1 which will be: sign up for PoF sign up for match update OKCupid profile 5 min tinder / day 1 date / week 1 hookup / mo OTHER BOSS QUESTS: Mutant Koala [Australian Drop Bear]Renew PassportApply for TSA precheck / global entry [requires new passport]Apply for visas [requires new passport] The Hellion HoardFollow decluttering schedule [TBD] HOA-AAAAAH HorrorBalance checking accountFollow up with Scott re:condo meeting minutesAsk Mark to call / contact owners to be on a committeeCall AT&T re:business lineReply to Anthony re: condo management TPS TitanProcess RH exit paperworkProcess GC exit paperworkProcess TA exit paperwork

I decided to focus on my assassin side and follow on my quest of being druid assassin. Because I'm the hero of my story. Fitness (Because every great hero needs to focus on their fitness): 1. Parkour practice on the basics because how is one suppose to get great without mastering the not as "cool" stuff. (Sorry that Team America Montage song was stuck in my head again) Practice 2 or 3 times a week (but don't do if it's ridiculously icy out...on second thought indoor training then if icy)Start picking up more cool places to practiceDon't kill myself, especially when poisons snakes decide 'hey this spot'. Please, don't pull that brave bs. It's fun way to the hospital if bitten.Look into a safe thing to store cellphone so it doesn't get smashedRun and lift on your off daysYoga on the lighter of days or if hurt 2. Contortion Be able to do the backward bendLet's see how much I can hypersplit by the end of this challenge (since I mastered straddle and both front splits)Work on getting closer to handstandWork more on shoulderstand (I really want to be her) Social (Because heroes need sidekicks partners): 1. Volunteering Go over to the animal shelter and volunteer 2 to 3 days a week (got to get over how cold it is...dogs don't walk themselves...well they kinda do)Get that form dealt with and finish the processor for volunteering at wildlife rehabilitation center (or the animals will be sad)Don't kill yourself (but cute animals overload is acceptable) 2. Groups Groups Groups Find a groupGo and have a fun timeMake friends (They like being poked right?) 3. Dating Fill out that profileTalk to girls (don't worry about being nervous and thinking every horrible scenery that could go wrong)Possibly go on a date Other (Because heroes always have other goals): 1. Pixie cut (since I still didn't get it) Work out exactly what I want and don't want in my haircutNow pick a damn place to get it done alreadyBe a bad ass and accept that people are secretly jealous of your hair (or just pretend that, which ever is easier) 2. Write for 30 mins (since it's been so long since I've written anything) 3. Plan out my coming out (since my hair and where I possibly am going is going to come into play...so better safe than sorry) (Cake should definably be involved in this matter...everyone loves cake. Can't be upset with cake.) 4. Make a new recipe each week since I've fallen into the lazy cook mode Reward for completing (too lazy to figure out unicorn peso system for self...maybe before Monday): ~Fitbit ~And these bad boys http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/1ce8/?cpg=pi Yay Think Geek So I'm raising the bar again to watch myself suffer, but for good reasons. So let's make this a good one. And I'll become a hero (to myself atleast)

Um...well this post will be personal for me, but I feel that NF is a safe place to ask for advice in this matter, so here goes. Well first of all, I am a late bloomer when it comes to boys. If a handsome man rolled up in a awesome work truck, I would notice the truck before him. Don't know why. But now I'm actually starting to notice them and wanting them to notice me. But that's one of the problems, guys don't notice me. I come off as a friend rather than marriageable material. And then the guys who've chatted with me online (not NF men, their all gentlemen thank God!) only want to hang out in order to get in my pants. And these are gamers and comic book freaks (not worthy of being Nerds!). I know I'm not pretty, and the guys I like are not looking for girls like me. But if I do meet a guy I like and he actually wants to get to know me, what do I do? What's a date usually like? What do I wear? Just anything you guys can tell me would help immensely! I've never been on a date, and I'm not ashamed to admit it I'm a virgin. Being a Christian I believe in sex after marriage. So on a date how do I identify if a guy is trying to hint that he wants more? Should I just tell him straight up what my rules are? I am so at a loss.... Also how do I look like a girl? If you look at my photos in my gallery you'll notice that pants and baggy shirts are a second skin to me. And make up is really foreign to also. Please help!

Sorry if this sounds super middle school but it's a serious self-esteem related issue and you guys are my trusted community of choice. xP So I'm a 20 year old girl, 21 in April and I have never had a boyfriend. Never kissed, never held hands, DEFINITELY never had sex. Dating just seems so unrealistic for me and I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. All I've ever done is be myself but in all this time noone has even noticed me for anything more than a friend, never mind got up the courage to act on it. Should I put myself out there more or just wait.(kindof sick of waiting.) Anywhere, here's a sort of bio type thing to give you all an idea of who I am. What I'm asking is if you ran into me, what would you think? I would never change who I am personally but maybe I do need to dress up a little more/put myself out there if I'm going to get anywhere. I'm 20 years old. I'm a music education major, I love music and I love kids. But I'm all nerdy and I prefer classical music. Like I honestly don't know most of the pop artists. I occasionally enjoy jazzy stuff but wouldn't be able to name anything. I also love christian music. Not like hymns and stuff(though they are often pretty.) But the newer stuff, songs of encouragement that are much needed in the stress of life. Christianity's a huge part of my life but I generally don't advertise it do to the rep.Christians have right now. Honestly I don't even really relate to "Christians" but rather to the original idea of what it meant to be Christian or "Christ-like." Basically, I believe everyone is important and has a purpose in life. No matter how bad stuff is there's some hope somewhere and we should all love and encourage each other. Everyone deserves love, don't care who you are or what you've done. But yeah, that part of me doesn't get out much. Another aspect of my personality that is kindof hidden is that I LOVE adventure! I wish I could participate in things like ninja warrior, parkour, larping, etc. but am not yet at a point where my body can physically handle it. People actually were shocked when they found out I played and loved humans vs. zombies. The action was fantastic but it was apparently out of character for me.(huh, whatda they know.) I also love hiking and really want to travel the world someday too. For the people that don't know me too well... I'm pretty shy around people I'm not fully 100% comfortable with. I basically don't talk unless I feel the need to include my input. I often hear the question "Hey where's Meghan?" and I'm just like...guys...seriously? I'm right here! D: (In my head of course.) When I do talk I'd consider myself a pretty nice/easygoing person. I like helping. Making others happy makes me happy. Most of the time if I'm upset I'll just say something like "Nah it's ok." Or just ignore the situation. It takes A LOT to actually get me angry. Every once in a while I'll throw in my 2cents in random conversation but most of the time I'm more of a listener. I'm honestly not really sure how much people notice me. This is all I know about the outside perspective. For the few that I am close to... Yeah I'm freakin insane. xP We've decided together(my friends and I) that I'm actually a 5 year old. I find joy in coloring, playing in playgrounds, new things(especially shiny ones) oh and whining. But not any whining. I mean I feel the need to tell my roommate that I'm hungry,tired, "have to potty", want a pony, whatever else that comes to mind whenever it does. (It's ok she loves me. ) Personal interests include Facebook, Tumblr, reading adventure style books(the whole real life/coming of age theme isn't really my thing.), minecraft, WoW(trial edition cuz im poor),Lord of the Rings, Sherlock(BBC), Avengers...all of them...especially captain america, and lots of other things I'm forgetting. Oh, I play mellophone in the marching band and french horn for my major. Appearance: Generally I don't care much about my appearance or at least that's what I tell myself. I do enjoy looking pretty but it just doesn't seem worth the time/effort/pain. I'm a t-shirt and jeans kinda gal. I'm also not super fit(working on it.) and just happen to have tiny boobs for my size but honestly in my opinion that shouldn't have to matter. I personally feel good about myself, why change? The easiest way to describe my appearance would be to just show you. So here, have some pics. Me just on any random given day: https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/1150347_10201342020606884_1338558391_n.jpg At my best: (Senior pic. high school)https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/157007_1664014074362_866346_n.jpg Aaand what could probably considered my worst allowed in public.(This was taken at the NYC wax museum. I had just finished marching in the Macy's thanksgiving day parade AND I was pretty sick too(being out in 30 degree weather at 3am was not helpful.) https://scontent-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/1426559_10202061868162393_1286168832_n.jpg NO i did not meet Nick Fury(I wish) it's wax. We're supposed to be doing the same thing but I kinda just look like I'm gonna cry or something. >< This one's just for funzies: (taken yesterday 12/6/13 Right before the Merry Maple Holiday parade. Yes I look ridiculous but it's all in good fun. xP) https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1471827_543495382407396_1751451268_n.jpg I honestly don't think I'm that bad looking that it's a major turn-off. (I actually feel cocky/self absorbed even saying that. :/) What may be an issue is my quietness but that's something I don't really know how to change. So what do you all think? Opinions first then advice if you have any. Please/thank you.

Hello everyone! shaffnut here, and this will be my FIRST NF six week challenge. I am a high school teacher in Virginia, and having been born and bred in the Steel City, I will be going home for the second half of June and July, so this challenge is PERFECT!! My attributes are as follows: Race: Half-Ogre Profession: Scout (I know, not usually a combo you see, but I swear IT WORKS!!!) Strength: 4 Dexterity: 2 Constitution: 2 Charisma: 1 Wisdom: 3 Stamina: 2 Total: 14 Level: 1 Here are my goals: 1. I would like to start my first challenge with a goal that I believe I can obtain: I would like to lose 10 lbs. I have been losing weight since February after getting off my butt and working at it. Coming from being 376 lbs in November of '11 to my current weight of 280 has been hard and rewarding, but since then the weight loss has leveled off. I want to focus on returning to that achievement by setting a 10 lb goal, or 270 lbs by July 14. I will do this in a variety of ways including: REWARD: +1STA, +1 WIS 2. 5k Time Decrease: I recently began running as a tool to help get back in some form of physical shape after a somewhat heartbreaking episode back in February. (Shot down by a girl whom I had developed feelings for; but, we talked it out, and have become very close since, so it worked out). ANyway, this kinda kicked me in the pants, helped me to discover NF and I started doing some good things. I ran my first 5k on April 8, and came in at 30:10. I have run in the interim, and have since completed a 10k as well! I've lost weight and really started feeling better. So, my goal is now to better my overall 5k time, and I want to complete one in 28:30. I feel this is obtainable with some different training ideas, and please if anyone has any input or advice, obviously hit me!!! REWARD: +2 STR, +2 STA 3. Dedicated workout time I would like one way to achieve my weight loss and time decrease goals to be maintaining a schedule of working out. I would like to make sure that I work out 5 days a week for the six week period, hoping that it will become my lifestyle, not just a challenge. I would like to: a. combine the NF strength training regimen for beginners with my existing running regimen b. three days of running with two days of strength training (freeweights and dumbells) with two rest days a week (one being sundays) REWARD: +1 DEX LIFE GOAL: 4. As you read earlier, I had a bit of a disappointment hit me in the relationship department, my first real venture into that world since high school, really. It didn't end well. My life goal for this challenge is to simply go on one date. One. Success here is for me to successfully ask and accompany someone (not sure who yet) on a date out on the town. Easy right? I wish. REWARD: +1 CHA I will keep all updated, and I really look forward to being a part of this challenge. Thanks in advance for everyone's advice and support. If there's one thing I've learned, its that the best part of leveling up in life is having the support of friends and family to urge you on. I look forward to meeting all of you here on the message boards!!! LET'S DO THIS!!!!!