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  1. ¸„.-•~¹°”ˆ˜¨ Health & Happiness Are Hard ¨˜ˆ”°¹~•-.„¸ Wherein the Cracked_Belle Un-Dies 𝔽𝕚𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝕒 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘, 𝕐'𝕒𝕝𝕝 I am diagnosed with a lot crap that makes life hard — manic depression, C-PTSD, OSFED (eating disorder), OCD, anxiety, some chronic pain, and other crap. these aspects of me and my life are going to come up in my journey to getting back on track with my health and happiness. I'll try to be sensitive to triggers, include warnings such as this where needed, and use spoilers when necessary. but this is my "cover my butt" warni
  2. Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” While this quote is widely attributed to Winston Churchill, there's some who argue it's true source. I'm off topic, please pay no heed to my ramblings. It's easy for me to lose track sometimes... Ok, ok all the time. I've been on this site for sometime. During that time I've never followed through any of my side quests to complete my end game quest. It's not entirely uncommon for me to begin anything and sprint right into the field of battle, if you will, and for some time I will excel, push through the
  3. Tzippi Tastes the Vinegar If you've read the Tao of Pooh (and if you haven't, consider it!), you might remember the allegorical image referenced at the beginning of the Vinegar Tasters, in which three men taste from the same vat of vinegar, one tasting sourness, one bitterness, and one sweetness. These three are representations of the three major religions/philosophies of China, Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism. The vinegar is life, and the men each taste it differently. Tai Chi, which I have begun studying and is a hugely positive practice in my life, is largely based on Taoist
  4. Depression is a bitch. I need to make it MY bitch. After I complained to my therapist (a lot) about the fact that I can't bring myself to care about challenge goals even though I want to make all kinds of positive changes and actually care about myself, she pointed out that depression makes it hard to think/care about the future. In retrospect... duh? So apparently I need to work on not being quite so depressed if I want to make progress on anything else. Boring. Daily Goals (tracker): Take a fucking shower. Eat a fucking plant. Do some fucking stretch
  5. I am running out of ideas for challenge titles. This year I need to work on my co-dependency problems. Living with family members with personality disorders is not fun any more. And since I am also working with them, and we have been hovering on the edge of bankruptcy for the past ten years, I am beyond tired. I have suicidal thoughts every single day. It is not good, and I will cope, but being unhappy is not fun. I have no contact with anyone outside the internet, so have no support of any kind. I also finished my spreadsheet on my spending for the past year, and it is
  6. Goal for this challenge: Visit the forum every day, post something, read something. This community has meant a lot to me over the years, and it is not good for me to isolate myself. Other than that, life sucks at present.
  7. And finally I am getting around to not really doing another challenge. Plans: Go to bed early Get up at 5. Go gambling and win millions. I had a few good moments last week.
  8. Feels a bit abrupt to drop back into the NF forums after being away so long, like :poof: I’m baaaack! I’m hanging out with the Adventurers for awhile (my previous couple years’ worth of challenges were done as a Ranger). It has been so long since I’ve been active, and my entire life/routine/body has changed so much in the past two years, that I have no idea what type of activity/lifestyle I’m into now. So, for now, I walk, I hike, I eat a mostly healthy diet that doesn’t fit into any particular category (mostly working on dialing down my sugar consumption without reawakening my disordered
  9. I am having the absolute pleasure of being in the middle of a major depression. It is a long time since it was this bad. Weirdly enough I do not have many suicidal thoughts, nor anger. I will get over it. Some simple goals for this challenge. 1. No random Internet before 8 in the evenings. 2. Post something every day on the forums. 3. Lights off before 10 at night. I think I am going to manage that.
  10. I have decided at least for now to switch to a battle log since it seems that is mainly what my challenge logs have become... I have a few goals for 2015... I am gonna figure out this place and what my goals are and whatnot... anything goes here... this is a place for complete transparency
  11. I'm sitting here in the break room at the bank, and I just ate lunch. The bank I work at is going through some radical changes very soon, and I have been proclaiming that I was going to go through some radical changes myself for years. For the most part, those changes have not came to fruition. I did score a good job, with potential to move up and I am working on that. Spirtiually and physically I am severely lagging behind. As I've done for years. Today is the day. No longer will I shrug off the things I know I must do to better myself.
  12. So here I am again, more determined this time. Having been made redundant. And for the last four months dealing with the stress of that possibility resulting in me diving back into the bottom of a bottle and stopping my depression meds and counseling (I know I am an idiot for it, But that is cutting a long story short). So I have had a look at my life, and broken my current situation down into a list of things that are bad, good or I have no control over. Bad. Been made redundant. (Also a good thing) Family is ripping itself apart. (sister has sp
  13. I continue to struggle -thoroughly- with the same things over and over and over. So again: Selfcare and taking breaks. Kinda boring, isn't it? more soon
  14. All around us, it was as if the universe were holding its breath . . . waiting. All of life can be broken down into moments of transition or moments of revelation. This had the feeling of both. G'Quon wrote, "There is a greater darkness than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way. The war we fight is not against powers and principalities – it is against chaos and despair. Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope, the death of dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender." The future is all around us, waiting
  15. Hey all! A week late but had a desire to do a challenge. Kind of went MIA when stuff wasn't quite working for this site and me. Personal issues, that ended up leading me to depression in quite a dark place. Bright side I'm working on it, but everyday stuff is still hard even though I can plan 6 months ahead of myself. I'm hoping this challenge shows some daily light to where the conflict is coming from underneath everything. Along with wrapping my head around, having a schedule doesn't make things boring it just adds a little control. Bright side- I'm still trying
  16. Close your eyes and imagine for me if you can; you have spent the time, done the research and finally figured out what it is that is wrong with you. At least in part. You have been in more then a rut, you have been in part hell for over a decade. You have search back to when you were happy and full of energy and life and realize that perhaps the depression is linked to your health, that the extra fat and wacky hormones that it creates has been playing havoc on you. You realize that you have to go back to being fit again, otherwise you will not just die young, but will lose the rest of the thin
  17. Close your eyes and imagine for me if you can; you have spent the time, done the research and finally figured out what it is that is wrong with you. At least in part. You have been in more then a rut, you have been in part hell for over a decade. You have search back to when you were happy and full of energy and life and realize that perhaps the depression is linked to your health, that the extra fat and wacky hormones that it creates has been playing havoc on you. You realize that you have to go back to being fit again, otherwise you will not just die young, but will lose the rest of the thin
  18. Jakkals

    Jakkals slaap

    I am going to get my sleep routines back. I have done it before, and it was good for me, but for some reason I stopped. Rule 1: Computer off at 21:30, lights at 22:00, get up at 5 Rule 2: Push-ups and stretching. Rule 3: Clean every day.
  19. Truthfully, It's been a more than a couple years since I've been on this website, so "soft reset" might be too generous of a term. Still, I'm the same person with the same issues---now I'm just working with different stats. I was at a big university, but struggling with my mental health a lot, so I'm at a community college for now. I've lost a lot of the healthy habits I built, and being at back at home now has made me less motivated in my physical health. Right now I'm planning to focus most on water intake and calorie tracking using MFP. I'm hoping this time around I can work o
  20. Hello all, my name is Fluffy_Shark (or Fluffy for short) and this is probably my third time respawning. I am 22 years old. I struggle with depression and anxiety and currently go to school full-time while working part-time. Lately my stress has been through the roof and I've resorted to eating copious amounts of sugar, and drowning myself in the internet, all trying to escape from my stressful world. I have never liked how I look and I have always felt weak and unfit. I haven't worked out in nearly 4 months and I'm sick and tired of it. I have so many things I want to accomplish in life but I
  21. BackStory: Hello, again my fellow Rangers! I've not been around at all this year despite multiple failed attempts. Truthfully this has been one of the most trying times in my life I have ever experienced. Within this past year, I've moved to a different city, put final preparations on my associate's degree, and had the most severe family problems. To top things off, I've been in a terrible haze of depression these last six months that I am only now starting to come out of. Since finally regaining a moment of clarity this month, I realized that depression had been my main foe all along whe
  22. spooky

    spooky is a cat

    where's the lie though? actual goal of this challenge: treat myself like my cats. when my cats do something wrong or make a mistake i don't judge them. i treat them with kindness and deal with the results of whatever just happened. so...the same goes for me. also, taking things one at a time. cats aren't stressing about things that may or may not happen. they just do whatever is in front of them I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO CHANGE THIS CHALLENGE AS IT IS 12:40 AM. but i think the sentiment is right. measurable ways of doing this...is one of tomorrow's goals.
  23. Almost all of my attempts at doing this have been mostly failures, this is in fact due to my mental illnesses plaguing me night and day. Whether it's the small little voice in my head asking the dreaded What's the point? Or simply letting my anxiety convince me that it's not a good idea to do the thing. I know that I always say this is the time for real... and I mean it, I even trimmed up my beard drastically to prove a point. (Have no fear the bearded one is still here and will return in his full glory soonish). So: I'm thirty years old and reside in the good ol' South ( a place I rather
  24. This challenge is going to be simple. I am going to start a Couch to 5K program. That is where this entire journey started for me four years ago. I need the exercise. I need the commitment. I need to overcome the depression.
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