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Mad Hatter does stuff Thoughts on this and the previous challenge behind the spoiler. Feel free to skip ahead if you want to go straight to the good stuff. For this challenge I’ve decided to just do stuff. I don’t have any particular goals reeeally (even if it looks like it) and I’m just going to do whatever I feel like for a while. As long as I put in work and it’s useful stuff it’s all good. Goal #1 Train hard, stick to my priorities and have fun Even though I do best with focusing on one, at most two things I’m not going to to do that. I’m going to do all the things and have some fun with it. I will however try and focus my energy on the things I want to progress the most at and see what happens. A Handstands: TBA after workshop A Contortion: Get started with backbends again. No particular goal except to do my strength exercises 2x/week, at the very minimum B Rings: Follow the program. It’s designed with 3 training days/week but 2x/week is fine C Pole: Try all of the intermediate moves on SV (except climbs and spins because of space restrictions) C Climbing: Chill out and have some fun, instead of going crazy. Grading: Have I done what I could/what I “should� Y/N Goal #2 Keep the black dog at bay I can feel this winter is going to be a tough one, so I’m going to try and do my best to avoid ending up in dark places. Sun lamp - not sure it actually works that great but I might as well use everything in my arsenal Vitamin D - again, not sure how well it actually works but I’m sure I’ll need it soon enough even if I don’t notice anything Eat 3 proper meals - skipping meals generally doesn’t work for me so I need to make sure I eat and don’t wait until my head’s spinning. Max 1 junk serving - quite generous but I’m including booze, snacks I don’t need and any sort of trigger food. Social events don’t count. 20 min walk - normally I walk loads, but when it gets cold I get a bit meeh. Plus being outside is good. Move! Spend a few minutes relaxing in the morning and evening Leave work on time - I’ve been super focused and absorbed into my work lately, which is fun and I’ve been really productive. But it’s also quite mentally tiring so I need to stop working overtime. Keep the new flat shiny Don’t disappear on NF Grading: Points out of 10 per day Goal #3 Learn some skills I’m going sit down and do something, anything with my hands (no, that doesn’t count you pervs), even if it’s just doodling in the margin or play with LEGO for 1 cumulative hour/week. Tiny, tiny goal just to get me started. Grading: Pass/Fail

Hello! Im back to try again. actually, I've been doing a lot - and getting much stronger and much more active...but at a much slower pace than I would like! But, I'm not hurting myself this time! (can I get a hoo rah?) Goals: create a schedule - Nutritional - eating whole foods a. prepping b. eating c. accountabiliby - mfp Physical - a. morning exercises - to wake up my body b. noon ish exercises - movement throughout the day - my fit bit c. evening exercises - stretching in bed. Healthful - a. magnesium protocol (including mag water) b. ACV water c. supplements as prescribed by nutritionist Spiritual a. Bible reading - accountability - youversion plan b. Bible journaling - create Bible journal c. Prayer time - create prayer journal Living arrangement a. unpack one box b. arrange one drawer/cabinet c. one project to paint per week This may look like alot...but, these are things I need to do daily. The living arrangement is because we are supposed to close on 9/18 on our house therefore, we start to do the finishing touches the following weekend, and then start moving in. I have no idea what my stats were. In a fit of depression, I erased them all. This is my respawn - I am starting over.

Gimeniux's: How do you mend a broken heart? Why am i here? I feel lost, once more, totally lost. I'm starting once more. I did great two challenges ago, last one not so great, actually a total failure. But here i am, because i promised i would not give up. I am here, because i need to take care of me. I'm battling depression, i just broke up with my boyfriend. I need to love myself, i come to realize this is the only way i'll be truly happy. So here i am, trying once more. Thank you in advance to those who decide to come along with me in this journey. My heart is broken you see, not just because i broke up with my boyfriend, i did that just to focuss on me, being in a relationship can drain energy from you, it's exhausting. I'm broken heart because i have let myself down, i need to be at peace with myself. GOAL 1 - No more Facebook I keep losing so much time and energy watching everyone else's lifes, but i neglect my own. I watch happy pictures from my friends and i feel a total failure, even i know that no one facebook truly reflects the happiness or sadness of their lifes. I need to concentrate in me, just me, nothing else matters now. GOAL 2 - Make a healthy choice everyday I don't want to make to many rules his time. Every time i do and fail i stop trying. I need to begin again, babysteps, each little step has to be taken as a win. GOAL 3 - Smile and love myself I'll set up a personal dairy. Everyday i'll write how i feel and one reason why i love myself. Also i'll smile to me everytime i see a mirror. Side Quest - How about some origami So i'm an origami lover. I made plans long time ago to develop my passion into a bussiness. It's not easy, specially with the depression kicking everytime, it's terribly hard to finish anything i try to start. So i'll go slowly, i want to make a goal to invest everyday at least 15 minutes to develop this passion. I wanted to say an hour, but that's a lot for the moment, 15 min will do get my motivation back. Thank you all out there who stop to read this, i've been overwhelmed with all your stories, i guess there is always a reason to keep going. I'll update regularly, promise. So i've been told

The important part isn't to focus on measurable achievements, it's actually doing stuff. Gotta learn to reward the effort, not just the success. Rather than having a number I shoot to achieve, I will focus on doing and effort to do. So long as genuine effort is made it will be considered a success. Quest 1: Training and Preparation The beast of business demands many a sacrifice. It demands energy and motivation...things I am no longer willing to give. The creature must be slain. The first step is to prepare meals despite its orders to be lazy and give over my energy and motivation. This will anger the beast. Cook more/eat out less +3 WIS, +3 CHA Quest 2: Power Ups In order to actively fight the beast I must have sustenance that will fuel me for the battle. Nutrient density is key. It will give me the energy and mood boosts to defy the monster. Eat more veggies +3 CON, +3 STA Quest 3: Healing Spells There will be times the creature will win and I will make its demanded sacrifices. In these times it is important to recoup. Meditate when overwhelmed +3 WIS, +3 CON Side Quest: Map Making When others traverse the same path as I it can be helpful that they know the way I have been. Work on blog more actively +1 WIS Life Quest: Make our 11 acre plot my new home Step 1: Get a portion fenced for chickens +1 STR *COMPLETE* Step 2: Get a house +1 WIS

Ok, so here it is. I am making another challenge thread. I've been lovingly cajoled(actually, it's sort of a requirement to be in an accountabilibuddies group) into creating a challenge, and I think, I need to start breaking my REAL live challenges into 6 week, 1 week, 1 day plans. This challenge should have seen me starting in San Diego, but a double root canal(on the same tooth - that is - they tried to do one, and had to put it off for another day, so they still had to do all the same stuff the second day!) prevented me from going. pain, and sick from the antibiotics. but I'm here in Clermont, Florida, in the shadow of the Mouse. here are my simple goals again: Food Fitness Function Food - try to eat paleo with very soft food - not easy. Fitness - do something every day - movement(walking or dancing), strength - certain exercises, and physical therapy Function - yeah, I need to function. - something to do with the house/home every day. And working on my therapy for me. And, I'm reading books - and working on marriage issues - as in, exercising our marriage muscles with books, and counseling, and practicing good communication skills. This could be Family! My sig line is very barren, because I was so disappointed in myself, and felt that I needed to wipe out my past. but, here I am - I will try to post once each week.

4 months ago I started my first Nerd Fitness challenge, I was so excited to go and nothing was going to stop me. I had lots of people supporting me on the forums and checking in with me often, it was great. But I kept getting sick and having to stop. I would get better briefly and get sick again. Turns out I was pregnant (something we were working on, so its a good thing!), unfortunately I lost my baby. This took me into a deep depression from which I thought I would never return. Lucky me, I did only to be cursed with 2 more miscarriages. FML, seriously. I am one week since recovering from my last one and have decided its time to stop feeling sorry for myself and focus on something other than having a baby. So here's my quest list for the next 30 days. I figure I better start small. -log a minimum of 10k steps on my fitbit daily -workout 3x per week doing the Strong Curves beginner routine preferably at the gym but I will do the body weight at home routine when I can't make it -log my food intake daily on my fitness pal and stay within my calorie goals as I do so -update this post once a week or more to track progress

Words to live by : Inspired by the always awesome Shaarawy I am reformatting my quest by character. I think it will make a bit more sense this way. Also some of these are more like daily guidelines. Still figuring out how to make them actionable. Grading is on a do/do not basis. Quest: Finn/Fionna—think less, do more! Finn and Fionna are heroes who know who they are and what they want out of life. They avoid mental gymnastics. I strive to emulate their straight forward attitude and ability to deal with REAL problems. “ I don't need to feel like I'm waiting to be noticed. I know who I am and I'll know what I want if and when it ever comes along.†-Fionna, "Fionna and Cake" “I’m all about stupid!†-Finn, "The Real You" -Actionable step: Go for a morning walk, connect with my physical self -Goal: Stay in the moment, don’t overthink things. Actionable Step: Believe in myself because I am awesome! Decide at the beginning of every day, in writing, that it will be a good day and that I choose to believe in myself -Actionable Step: Weight training 2x a week, Pilates 2x a week, 1 rest day Quest: LSP—Love myself LSP is awesome. She is full of self confidence and sass. Goal: no physical or mental picking Goal: using food as self love but in a positive healthy way. showing myself I care about myself by making good food choices what this means: 3 meals a day/ no snacking primal/low carb (50-100 grams a day)one salad a day (visiting veggie village)food is fuel (no emotional eating) 3 cheat meals per week (thanks Snarkyfishguts for the inspiration)Savor my food- eat mindfullyhappy cooking time! Quest: Magic Man— some people are just jerks! For those who don't watch the show, Magic Man is a magic dude (well, duh) who is a huge jerk. In his first episode on the show teaches Finn that some people are just jerks. Then in a later episode it's revealed he was banished to Ooo because he "used to be cool" until the love of his life died and he become a bitter jerk who turned all of the water on Mars into hair (and when the Martians tried to drink it they went bald). (yes I watch this show way too much because I wrote that whole paragraph from memory) ANYWAYS, he could have come back to Mars "If you had just learned to care about living things again," but "Instead, you bummed around Ooo, acting like a jerk for 200 years." Goal: Accept that some people are just jerks and don’t let it bother me because I am awesome! And it is good that I care about other people(but not necessarily their opinions). Actionable steps: Practice letting go at any opportunity. Get mad? Let go. Accept what is. Quest: Marceline- Creative Outlet Marceline is a killer musician (heh) and I've always wanted to do music. I've sung for a long time but have always been too afraid of people judging my voice of my music. This is me taking back my creative space. Goal: Having a creative outlet. Balance the sad and the happy and create awesome art! Actionable Steps: This one is easier to measure because I have to do ONE creative thing per day. Doesn't matter how long or how much, just do SOMETHING. Write a sentence, practice guitar for one minute, paint, draw, ANYTHING. Try to get immersed in creating, let go of judgment and have fun! Quest: Jake the Dog- Eliminating Desire Jake is pretty much always relaxed and goes with the flow. During my first challenge I experienced this type of zen and it was amazing. I would like to get back to that place. I know I can. “What are you doing?†“Eliminating desire from my heart, it helps pass the time†-Finn and Jake, “Marceline’s Closet†“Sucking at something is the first step towards being sort of good at something†-Jake, “His Hero†“Listen to your melon heart!†-Jake, “The Tower†Goal:The Jake quest is about trusting my intuition, continuing with meditation, and letting myself be in the moment. Being okay with my journey as it happens. Letting go of trying to control everything and just being Goal: Each day is an experiment, approach the day without judgement or emotional baggage ​Actionable Steps:Daily meditation sessions, Daily journal using 2 hour blocks system. Actionable Steps: Have Fun!! Quest: Ice King - Embracing Sadness Ice King is probably the saddest character on Adventure Time. He is a portrait of depression and anxiety. I would like to try embracing the difficult parts of myself and feel comfortable with them. “That's right. M.M.S. Runs through all magic users.I hung out with scores of them, all displaying varying degrees of magic… Madness... And sadness. Studying these symptoms could lead me to their underlying cause, and then I'll control the forces that hold sway over Simon.†-Betty, “You Forgot Your Floaties†Goal: Embracing the sad. I want to embrace sadness that passes or even embrace my depression as a part of me and not try to “fix†being sad but just to let myself BE sad. This is not an everyday thing, this is only when sadness occurs naturally. Actionable steps: Really feeling sad when it naturally arises MORE GIFS:

Ready For Another Round... FYI: I just changed my name from Sokkasm to Korranation in case anyone is looking for the avatar A lil bit about me for those who haven't read my previous challenges: I'm a college student living at home with the folks. I thought about being an engineer, but that didn't work out. I got into a car accident a few years ago and that set me back a few semesters. I tried being an accountant but wasn't good enough for the college of business. My grandmother passed away last year. I was so busy taking care of my grandpa and the rest of the family that I neglected my classes and it hurt my gpa. So I'm floating on a mulitdisciplinary degree that doesn't do much (unless I can sell it) for any career. I live with an evil stepmother (Maleficent) and stepsister (Lilith) whose goal in life is to make my life hard. Most of my friends call me cinderella bc of this. All the stress of changing majors dealing with accidents and losses, and toxic people has lead me to put on 30 lbs. I've been here on NF for most of this grief. I've had to learn the hard way how to build a successful challenge, but I'm getting better. I hope to lose this weight that the stress that has caused it. Main Quest Remaster Being the Avatar I feel pretty beat up and defeated from my last challenge. I thought I had made S.M.A.R.T. goals, but they weren't attainable, realistic, or that timely. That left me with S.M. goals. So I'll make them SMALLer this time around so they're more attainable and realistic. I'll even through in a 5k marathon on the last day of the challenge to make things timely. Goal 1 Exercise (+3 STR, +3 DEX) I've pretty weak for an avatar. I've got to get my strength up so I can face off any baddy that stands in my way. CHALLENGE: run x3 per week CHALLENGE: yoga x2 per week STR : 3 (A=3, B=2, C=1) DEX : 3 (A=3, B=2, C=1) Goal 2 Eat (+3 CON) An avatars got to keep their appetite up to match their strenth right? CHALLENGE: stay within 200 calories of MFP goal CON: 3 (A=3, B=2, C=1) Goal 3 Sleep (+3 CHA) CHALLENGE: sleep 7-8 hrs CHA: 3 (A=3, B=2, C=1) Side Quest Read (+3 WIS) CHALLENGE: read 2-3 books WIS: 3 (A=3, B=2, C=1)

This is a log of the things I am doing, to try to get myself to do anything. Depression: being pretty well treated at this point with therapy and meds, but always up for reevaluation. Exercise: other than what I do at work (standing, intense breath work) and walking to the subway (20 mins/day total), basically nil. This needs investigating. Yoga: abandoned after scary-seeming-though-ultimately-benign-thank-god health issues last year. Still problematic because of head and neck things. This needs to be restarted in some way that is healthy for my body. Other relevant items: meditation and mindfulness (not existent at this point, but could be investigated). Massage and physical therapy. Voice lessons (bardic training?). Others to be added. Food: I don't even want to go into it right now. I know this is the 80% thing, and I feel it, but I'm not ready to really go there. Okay, here's one change: no sweets at work for the rest of the week. And I get myself through work via sweets. So that's a solid life choice. *** So today, instead of sitting on my couch playing Baldur's Gate 2 and studying - even though I am in the Underdark, my favorite place in all the Forgotten Realms - I'm going to go for a walk while studying, even though it is kind of gray out and even though I don't feel like it. I'm going to walk for at least a half an hour. Baby steps, Eilistraee, baby steps. You'll be dancing in the moonlit woods with your fellow drow in no time.

Update: I loved the idea of making a spreadsheet to track goals: here's mine. Main Quest: Beat agoraphobia & depression. Q1: 20 good form push-ups. (+1 STR) I used to be able to do 46. Now I can barely do 1. Despite having been in the military, I was never an athlete or a tough chick, but repetition helped get me from the arm strength of a flea... I couldn't do a single push-up on my knees, to almost 50 real push-ups on a graded exercise test with a 2-minute time limit. Since my injury and my depression, and now that I'm doing a regular desk job where being in shape isn't a requirement, I haven't made an effort to work out in six months. I did my first push-up in months this morning. It was rough. My middle sagged, I almost couldn't get back to the start position. I don't have a gym membership or free weights, but I plan on practicing push-ups, arm circles and some planks -- anything plyometric basically. Maybe I'll even start getting back my four-pack of yore. Update: I think I psyched myself out during that first bad push-up yesterday. Maybe I just forgot what it feels like to use my muscles. Today (July 22, still 5 days before challenge start) I did a set of 5 not-terrible push-ups. I'm not going to update my goal to make it harder, because I don't want to discourage myself with unreasonable difficulty. However, I'm going to put a longer term counter in my signature to keep track of how close I am to getting back to 50 push-ups. A = > 20. (I was always told that As are not for meeting the expectation, they're for going beyond it!) B = 20 C = 13 Fail: anything less Q2: No alcohol (+1 CON) I'm prone to a lot of anxiety and depression and I've never had any luck with the many anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, anti-have-any-feelings drugs prescribed to me. Individual therapy, group therapy, hospitalization also did basically nothing for me. Now I'm living alone for the first time in my life, in a city where I don't know anyone. And I self-medicate. Out of all the modern miracles of pharmacology, alcohol works better than anything at making me feel less awful about life. With my severe agoraphobia, I don't even like leaving my apartment. Going to the store to buy alcohol actually provides one of the few motivating reasons I step out the front door. Unfortunately, alcohol also upsets my sleep cycle, makes time disappear unproductively, and robs me from actually working on meaningful goals. It has a ton of calories and is one of the factors that my weight crept from a pants size 6 to not-fitting-into-an-8. And more than that: it shouldn't be the only reason I can find to leave the house. A lot of my other nutritional goals hinge on this one. If I pour empty calories down my throat every evening, why bother eating healthy during the day? I use that to rationalize buying sweets, salt-filled freezer meals, and so forth at the grocery store. Sure, I'll also pick up carrots and fruit and salad greens... and then never eat them. I have a feeling that cutting out alcohol is the linchpin to the rest of my nutritional goals, and some other life goals. A = totally dry. B = slipped once or twice. C = slipped three or four times. Fail: anything more Q3: Banish videogames, movies and TV. (+1 WIS)You can argue that this isn't a nutrition or fitness goal, but I have to strongly disagree. Gaming and TV-watching eats up the time that I would otherwise use to be more mentally and physically active. It is an opiate to me. I also tend to eat unhealthy snacks while gaming more than any other time. I have difficulty taking breaks and will ignore the physical world as long as possible as long as I have a game to play. To begin, I cancelled my Netflix subscription. Now, it's not really enough for me to say, "Don't play games" as my goal. I also need to strongly dissuade myself from purchasing them to begin with, and uninstall the ones I have. It's harder to get back into a game if all my save files are deleted and the game isn't on my computer at all. I will uninstall the Origin and Steam platforms, and all games associated with them. I suspect this will have more tangible positive results during the 6-week challenge than if I just plugged in another numerical goal, like, "Oh, do 100 sit-ups" or something. Freeing up large blocks of time that I spend on gaming is objectively the best way to get myself re-involved in the real world. I will not be getting rid of audio books and educational podcasts. If I see a movie in theaters, I will make an exception to the "no movies." I'm just targeting the vast library of shows I have at my disposal with iTunes, Amazon, Netflix and Hulu. Out of all of my quests, this one will be the most difficult, and honestly I'm not quite sure what to expect as the result. Who am I without games and shows? What will I fill my time with? Will my depression worsen or will I become super-productive? A = absolutely no gaming, no movies, no TV. B = slipped once or twice. C = slipped three or four times. Fail: anything more Life (Side) Quest: Go outside every day. (+1 STA) If I'm ever going to be comfortable enough to drive again and minimize my anxiety at leaving home, the first step is just to get out my front door every day. Because I work from home, I can easily go for 2 - 3 day stretches where I don't leave the house. Eventually I'll have to take care of basic things... take out the trash, get the mail, go to the store, go to the laundry room. But the more I stay inside, the worse my agoraphobia gets. It doesn't even feel like a "fear," usually it just feels like... a sort of grey miasma that closes me into my little cell. I say there's nothing to do outside, nowhere to go, no one to meet. I pull down the blinds. I'm not very relaxed when I do go out, sometimes just walking down the street is stressful. Grocery shopping is stressful. In the past few weeks I have pushed myself to do things like take long walks, ride the bus, get a library card, explore a couple new restaurants, even go sailing. However, these events are isolated. The vast majority of the time, I'm locked in my apartment. This is punctuated with short spurts of excursion where I'll strategically take care of several errands at once so that I can go home again. It makes it SEEM like I'm very active when I say I found a great new taco place, scouted out a cool bookstore and a bead shop and walked around the park, went to the post office, etc. But chances are I did all those things back-to-back and won't leave home again for days. Of course it's not enough just to stand on my porch and turn around and go back in every day. That's not healthy progress. But if all I do is walk around the block or go sit in a cafe for a half hour with my laptop, that's a good start. I considered having a more detailed plan about Where To Go every day, but I would like to expand my ability to follow spontaneous decisions rather than fulfill a predetermined task list. The goal is to feel more relaxed, not more regimented. A = 100%, established new walking routines and reasons to get out. B = Got out 6 days a week. C = Got out 5 days a week. Fail: anything less. Motivation: I've never lived alone before, and I think subconsciously I knew I needed to be alone to bring out the worst parts of my agoraphobia and depression, to meet them head on and handle them myself, without depending on the people I love most as my crutches. A lot of days feel brutal and lonely. But I also can't help but feel this could be the best opportunity I've given myself: finding out who I am, really, at the bottom of everything. And who I am right now isn't pretty. It turns out I'm terrified, weak, unhealthy and sad. But there it is. I am finally seeing myself as I am. Edit: I took some "Before" pics although I feel shy about sharing them right now. None of my quests are specifically weight-related during this challenge, but I have a feeling that I will start losing a few pounds here and there with a different lifestyle. Right now I'm about 148 lbs., and my happy weight is in the 113 - 125 pounds range. Intended Starting Stats if all is going well at week 3: STR: 1 DEX: 1 STA: 1 CON: 2 WIS: 3 CHA: 2

A battle log, a b-log, blog: A Bringing Actual Thoughts To Life Entity on Living Online Grounds – of life, universe and everything (how I plan getting past the 42-mark). In other words a Respawn Project (but that doesn't sound like much fun to me). Somewhere in the deep archives of Nerdfitness there is a 2-3 year-old-introduction post. But since this is a story of new beginnings, I'll start rewriting a introduction: My tale started in 1990, about ten weeks early. When I was a kid I wanted to be a ballerina-artist-jockey-acrobat-composer-phototographer-martial-artist. But my body never handled excercice well, or anything else for that matter, and I probably still have the under-age record for pneumonia and bronchitis survival in Norway (which is were I'm from, by the way). Fast forward to spring 2014. Things got so bad I could barely think, let alone finish a degree at the University (or god forbid tell anyone I couldn't finish - the irony, I know). So eventually this somehow led to a coeliac diagnosis.Turns out I wasn't lazy, nor crazy, just malnourished . Bummer. And this is probably why body/mind had been screaming for as long as I can remember. So, this year I am turning 25. And I want a life. A life of joy, sparks, friends, connection, movement, art, and dancing-around-being-plain-silly. All the things I never got. Now is a good time as ever. And my goal for now is simple: not having 2015 as my worst year ever, and thus far it looks pretty bright. How I am doing this: 1) Avoiding evil gluten that is hiding bloody everywhere. 2) Finding new and old friends 3) Doing more of the things I love, but haven't done in ages because unlimited amounts of meh!. 4) Mapping other foods I must avoid for the time being, hoping to get them back into my life soon. 5) Making sure I get enough rest/sleep/down-time. 6) Practicing honesty, through nonvoilent communication. 7) Celebrating as many small wins as I possible can! 8) Working smarter, not more, with all-the-things-i-should-and-sometimes-love-doing 9) Exploring new things; food, interests, walks, games, gluten free beers and more. 10) And joining Nerdfitness, this time for real! This will be a place of jotting down, rambling and musing. Making notes to self about what works and does not. Perhaps not your usual battle log, but it will be mine:) In the long run I hope making it an entertaining read. Good luck on your journeys everyone!

Hello Druids! This is my second challenge but my first as part of a guild. This is part two of my journey learning how to take care of myself and well... care about myself. I guess it's a journey in learning self compassion. I learned in my last challenge that happiness is built from the inside out so I'm focused on re-inforcing my interior scaffolding. I’m hesitating on grading some these because self care should be its own reward. I won’t put a time limit or value judgement on most of these. What matters is my consistent and persistent effort. Some of parts of the quests are maintenance goals from the last challenge. As ever my primary goal is to become the person I want to be, one baby step at a time. I have listed some lesson objectives for each activity next to it, though of course there will be many more unplanned lessons throughout the challenge. Grading will be done as a percentage however the only failing grade is a zero, so if I do 50% that’s still a C because something is better than nothing. Going into this challenge I will shoot for 100% because it is possible but I do not expect myself to be perfect. Perfection is the enemy of progress. Quest 1: Mind Gratitude statements: letting of of the negative by focusing on the positive (New) total possible points: 42 Daily Meditation: total possible points: 42 Walk to Mordor: Miles from walking and running added weekly total possible points: 6 Quest 2: Body Overall Challenge Goals: +Maintaining previous challenge exercise schedule +1 more weight training session per week +Mindful Eating (Continued from last challenge) +Water (Continued from last challenge) +Daily Shower (New) Exercise activity every day Water Goal: 2L per day Grading : X/84L total points: 42 (fractional points awarded for this challenge) Maintain mindful eating Continue mindful eating, especially mindful of sugar. Using MFP to track my calories. Reporting food in my challenge thread every day. This was not an official part of the last challenge, but it helped a lot to clean up my diet. My diet is focused on whole foods, categories to be mindful are fruits, nuts and cheeses. I’m going with 1700 calories a day, revised based on my activity levels. So 11,900 for the week Grading: X/71,400 minus one letter grade for every 500 calories over total goal (so I have a buffer) total points: 42 (fractional points awarded for this challenge, -.25 points for every 100 calories over goal) Hygiene (New) Shower daily. This is a symptom of my depression. Showering (sadly) needs to be part of my self-care routine. I have to make the time for myself. total possible points: 42 Quest 3: Soul Chocolate Bar Challenge: One bar of my favorite chocolate bar (cadbury milk w/ caramel) spread over six weeks. I used to eat two of these in one sitting so one chocolate bar has to last the whole challenge. At a pace of approx. 3 squares per week total possible points: 6 Daily Inspiration: This is very centering. I started it informally last challenge and I would like to continue. total possible points: 42 No weed It’s aggravating my anxiety (New) total possible points: 42 Reading every day total possible points: 42 Total possible points for challenge: 402 Actual points total: ????? Life Quest: -POSITIVITY WALL -Creative Writing 3x per week, a sentence is fine. Progress is progress -Get ready for school- letter of intent Dr’s letters Dr’s paperwork beanie’s harness Beanie’s carrier

Objective: Build up a better self-image to help boost confidence and motivation. Hopefully to gain better mental health and positive attitudes towards exercise, diet, & life. Quest 1: post daily affirmations, in any form (picking something I like about myself or posting a motivational picture or quote). It will be a big challenge for me, I am a very negative person. Quest 2: Daily morning yoga and/or Piriformis muscle stretches and/or meditation. Going back to a staggering-type challenge, waking up 5 minutes earlier. Then I will increase by 5 minutes each week. My herniated disc has healed but having troubles with piriformis muscle. Chiropractor gave stretches I need to do every day. Quest 3: Frequent journaling. I have gotten close to pinpointing the sources of my depression. Journaling has helped me notice triggers and realize which emotions are a result of other emotions. Quest 4: Daily belly to spine posture practice, as recommended by my chiropractor. Gotta strengthen my deep inner core. Life goals: Set up doctor, dental, and hair appointments for myself and my kiddo.

From James Clear This is my 13th Challenge here on Nerdfitness, and my first challenge among the Druids. Here in South Africa it is now winter, and the real cold is still coming, and in keeping with the seasons also a time to slow down and reflect for a while. Things I must do: 1. Meditation. I've been doing meditation since last year, and it is part of my battle log. I want to make it a daily event, so plan on doing meditation every day. 2. Exercise. I have some trouble with Sciatic pain, making some movements difficult. Stretching and rolling works, it also should be on my daily list. Everything else is a bonus. I've got a power cage, weights and paralettes and should play around with that to see what is possible. Things will be easier once the skin on my finger has grown back. (I had a moment of stupidity with a drill and a sharp knife last week.) 3. Pleasure. Something that I don't have much of. Think of something to do every day. 4. The website. Something that has been on challenges for too many times with very little progression. Time to get that finished. Things I must not do: 5. Stay out of shops. I really need to keep my spending under control. In July we have a Geekfest and I really want to go, but money is tight. I am in a position not to go shopping, so I must stay out of places where they sell stuff, both in real life and online. ========================================================== Input Deprivation Week. I did an input deprivation week from Wednesday last week until yesterday. No reading books. No reading blogs. No reading newspapers. No going on Facebook (even just to post). No watching TV (shows, sports, news, anything). No watching movies. No listening to talk radio. No going on Reddit. No going on Twitter. No information input, only output! At the end of the week: I had cleaned my bedroom from top to bottom. Both cupboards in my office has been cleaned out and sorted. My office is cleaned from top to bottom. And one thing I did not plan on doing but happened anyway, Skype never wanted to work on this laptop, so I finally managed to figure out what was the problem, and in the process also got the printers to work, got nice pictures for my lockscreen, and in general sorted out all the niggling bothersome things that is not important but has been bothering me for far too long. And I reset a lot of passwords and finally made a list I could refer to if needed. And I found out what places online meant a lot to me and what doesn't matter. Minimalism is great, none of this would have been possible if I didn't have so little stuff. I really recommend doing it. But I still only know 2 people I can skype.

“Examine your world from all angles and you will see the interconnectedness of all things. Even that which is humble can be the key to greater things.†– The Lion of Two Rivers Last challenge, I began the journey to learn how to love my body for what it is, right now. The battle is far from over, but once upon a time, when I first joined Nerd Fitness, I actually started to like how I looked, so I decided to go back to when I feel I was the most successful at these 6-week challenges from a body image standpoint and have recycled old quests from my first two challenges. Because while learning to love myself is largely a mental and emotional challenge, as a sufferer of depression and ADHD there is most certainly a physical component as well that affects my mental and emotional states, and vice versa. Everything is connected, and through this connectedness, I can find happiness. Wu the Lotus Blossom is my home girl (and someday, I’d love to cosplay her!) MAIN QUEST: Love my body and love myself! Because poor body image issues and low self-esteem are a pain in the ass. QUEST 1: MIND: REMEMBER THE BASICS [+5 CON] Eating is 90% of the battle, and I’m all about making sure I eat smarter. Last challenge, I focused on taking control of my mindless snacking, which was a definite success for the most part; this challenge, I want to revisit calorie counting and macro management and utilize the IIFYM practice, at least until I get to the measurements I want, in which case I will reevaluate. Whether or not that happens this challenge, we’ll see; I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. In the meantime, 6x/week, I will be sure to eat between 1430-1787 calories (gross) daily. If I burn more than 500 calories in exercise, I will allow myself up to 2000 calories in total. I will also track my macros (target: 150g carbs/98g protein/49g fat), but it will not be part of my grading just yet, if at all this challenge. I will reevaluate every week to see if any of these numbers need to be tweaked any, and so the exact numbers will be subject to change based on lessons learned. A = 6x/week | B = 4-5x/week | C = 3x/week | D = 1-2x/week | F = 0x/week I will, of course, strive to make this a 7x/week goal, but I'm giving myself some leeway in case of Life. That said, I don't want to fall back into a "Well, I managed it for Monday through Saturday, I can take Sunday off!" mindset because there has only been problems with that approach for me. So, if I manage to eat within calorie limits for all seven days of the week, I will put $10 towards the bonus gift at the end of the challenge. QUEST 2: BODY: WAY OF THE CLOSED FIST [+3 STA, +1 STR, +1 DEX] Throughout the course of the next 6 weeks, I will be running in four races, which while I know I can finish them, I want to make a strong showing. That said, I don’t want to let up on my other training in dance and bodyweight strength training, but I know that considering my life, I can’t do it all. So, I will commit to running 3x/week and other workout (strength and/or dance) 2x/week. If I can do more, I’ll certainly try, but I won’t hold myself to it. Dancing during rehearsals, if the total time spent on choreography is over 30 minutes, WILL count. Also, Week 6, in lieu of tech week for Cabaret, will be exempt from this quest because I literally won't have any time between work and rehearsals and whatever little sleep I actually get, and any spare time I do find will likely just be resting. Running: A = 3x/week | B = 2x/week | C = 1x/week | F = 0x/week Strength/Dance: A = 2x/week | C = 1x/week | F = 0x/week If in any given week I manage to dance 2x/week and strength train 2x/week, I will give myself $25 towards the bonus gift at the end of the challenge. If I don't do the ideal but manage to do strength/dance more than twice in a week, it'll be $5 per extra workout. That said, dancing for Cabaret rehearsals will have a max limit of 2x/week; if I want extra dance points, it needs to be outside of rehearsal. Working on choreography outside of rehearsals will count, though. During Week 6, aside from the race I'm running that week, any workouts I do that isn't part of the show's dancing (practicing choreography on my own outside of rehearsal will count, but if it's during a run-through or part of the rehearsal itself, it will not count because that's just cheating) will merit me an extra $5 per workout. QUEST 3: SPIRIT: WAY OF THE OPEN PALM [+3 DEX] Of all physical skills to let slide while in rehearsals, this is the one that will take the hardest and longest time to recover from, plus flexibility will make all sorts of things easier from a physical, a health, and a performance standpoint. 3x/week, I will dedicated 10-15 minutes to flexibility work be it long and deep stretches, splits work, yoga, what have you. Also note that for Week 6, this quest will not be exempt and the challenge will then become about fitting in long, deep stretches prior to rehearsals/performances. A = 3x/week | B = 2x/week | C = 1x/week | F = 0x/week LIFE QUEST: EXPLORE THE JADE EMPIRE [+1 WIS, +1 CHA] Once a week, I will endeavor to try something new. These can be big things like going someplace I’ve never been before or trying a new activity, or small things like trying a new recipe or new exercise/yoga pose or what have you. As long as it’s something I’ve never done/tried before or someplace I’ve never been before, it counts! Alternatively, something that maybe I’ve done/tried a long time ago, failed, and have been too scared to try again, will also count. The more outside of my comfort zone, the better! Any new exercises/yoga poses done during mini challenges will not count towards this quest because that's cheating. Pass/Fail; there is no middle ground BONUS QUEST: 100 Days of Happiness! I started this at the end of last challenge and would like to use Nerd Fitness as motivation to keep it up. From May 23 – August 31 (for a total of 100 days) I want to have one image to describe what made me happy that day, or if nothing in particular made me happy or if I had a bad day, an image showing what makes me happy in my life. Ideally, I will take the picture myself, but there are days when it won’t be possible so I’ll use a stock photo or pull something from the Internet instead. I will include these in each of my daily updates. No grading or stat points included. This is just for fun. SUMMARY: Quest 1: Eat according to IIFYM 6x/week. Quest 2: Run 3x/week, Strength/Dance 2x/week at minimum Quest 3: Deep flexibility work 3x/week Life Quest: Do something new/scary 1x/week STAT POINT DISTRIBUTION: +1 STR | +4 DEX | +3 STA | +5 CON | +1 WIS | +1 CHA WEEKLY RECAPS Day Zero | Week One | Week Two | Week Three | Week Four | Week Five | Challenge Complete! MINI CHALLENGES Day Zero AMRAPs: Assisted Dips: 9 Assisted Pull-ups: 6 Assisted Pistol Squats: 4 Hanging Knee Raises: 1 5 Current AMRAPs: Assisted Dips: 20 Assisted Pull-ups: 11 Assisted Pistol Squats: 15 Hanging Knee Raises: 13 +1 STA Earned! +1 STR Earned! +1 DEX Earned! REWARDS! I haven’t utilized rewards in a while mostly since it was too hard and stressful coming up with a suitable/realistic reward system. This time, for Reasons, I have some rewards that I want, to look forward to, and that I can’t justify spending money on since I’m trying to tighten up my finances in lieu of the Cancun vacation in August (all paid for, but I’m saving up money for surprise extra costs that might pop up), possibly moving this autumn (because we’re considering adopting a puppy, and a third floor apartment just won’t cut it, plus we are So Over the crap parking situation at our current place), and a relatively last minute surprise Japan trip around New Year's (that I'm already needing to dip into my savings account to be able to pay for). Stacking rewards! A-average = Professional massage/spa day B-average = New swimsuit for Cancun trip C-average = Buy a thing (less than $25) at Charming Charlie’s (preemptively purchased, whoops!) Bonus Gift! The money I earned for going above and beyond the Quests 1 and 2 minimums will be used towards extracurricular (read: unnecessary but desired) extra costs in Cancun, such as drinks, souvenirs, touristy things, etc. Week One Earned: $70 Week Two Earned: $100 Week Three Earned: $75 Week Four Earned: Starting Measurements and Photos: Waist @ Narrowest: 26.75" (Goal: 24") Waist @ Navel: 30" Hips: 35" WHR: 0.76 (Goal: Maintain between 0.75-0.80) Chest: 31" Bicep: 9.5" Thigh: 20.5" Calf: 14.25" Neck: 12" Wrist: 5.5"

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." -Hiraedd, The Conqueress (Bare bones, to be elaborated later. It's certainly quite blunt as it is now. But it's written, and I'll work from there.) 1) A task a day A distance net-course due 30th of June, and another 30th of July. Marketing law and Strategic marketing. Soft deadline aimed at 21st of each month to give some space to maneuver. 2) Honorable Order of Rebellious Appraising Yeomen and Gratitude statements Positive, honest self-appraisal. Once a day. --> HOoRAY Things outside yourself that I am grateful for. Three times a day. In the challenge thread and cross-posted there rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/26507-3-things/ 3) ZenHabits1000 cuts 1) The Zen Habits 1000 cuts Plainly from the previous challenge. 200 points, 3-4 things a day. Adding that 5 min of streching, or every 5000 steps over the daily 10k I usually get, are worth one point. 4) Something from Brene Browns work, a single step towards recognizing shame and the symptoms, but I dont know how. I will think this a bit more.

I just copy-pasted my tags from last challenge. This challenge I think should be about end result and reporting my progress every day. The future keeps changing... one week, we're not going to be here next xmas, the next we're stuck in this area for life.

My main goal this challenge is to really establish some healthy habits. I need to focus on eating, sleeping, and honestly getting out of bed. I've been having a hard time of it lately, and I'm hoping to get hold myself accountable in a positive way with this challenge. 1: Bike 3x weekly. This can be for any length of time longer than 10 minutes. I want to establish the habit and build endurance. 2: Eat at paleo level 4 without binge eating. I've completely lost my appetite, but I know that I've gone back to binge eating after times like this. I am trying to ease myself into eating without getting sick. -Key to success, eat minimum 1200 calories on days that I work out. Never eat more than 2200 in a day. 3: No screen time after midnight. Out of bed by 9am. I'm hoping this schedule will help me to regulate my sleep patterns again. 4: Meditate 5x a week minimum. OPTIONAL: continue jujutsu through the summer. I am actually really worried about practicing while I feel like this. I am afraid of making a mistake and hurting someone. If I can get my head in the right place, then I will go to practice and do my best. I hope that I can, because I don't want to lose the progress I've made.

Hi y'all, My story starts off with a cliche. About a week and a half ago, my partner of almost eight years proposed and I accepted. For the first time in a long time, I felt so happy and excited and hopeful. Like there were things to look forward to again. I looked around my house and realized, I need to get my shit together. Suddenly, I wanted to be better, for the sake of myself, for him, and for our impending marriage. Let me back up a little. I've been seriously depressed since at least 2012, if not before. Around that time I was living with my parents, struggling to finish my degree, working a restaurant job I hated, all while my dad was undergoing treatment for colon cancer. I witnessed first hand my dad's suffering through harsh treatments and his disease while the rest of my family members grieved. I did my best to help out my family as a way to cope with my grief, but looking back that was one of the darkest times of my life. When my dad eventually died I was relieved. I finally felt that there might be an end to the suffering one day. When he died I was unemployed and living with my partner. For five months after that I did little besides lay in bed. I didn't go outside at all that summer. Eventually I realized I need to return to life and I went to the doctor to seek antidepressants. I got some medication and a month later I was hired with two jobs, both outside of the restaurant industry and in the job sector I really wanted to work in. For about a year now I've been working full-time, still dealing with depression, but managing it through medication and therapy. I didn't realize what a funk I was still in until we decided to get married, and suddenly it was as if the clouds had parted and I remembered what all there is to life again. I remembered that I haven't even hit all the good parts of life yet. And suddenly, I wanted to lose weight. I am a recovered overeater and undereater: basically fat person former dieter with eating issues. It has taken me so long to lose the diet mentality and even though I am excited about getting healthy, I am very nervous that if I start dieting and exercising again it will resurrect some of my old issues. The other piece is that I have failed many, many times to lose weight, and I am now at my highest weight ever. I am afraid of failing another time. Right now I'm still in the contemplation stage. I am interested in a paleo diet because it seems to be efficient for building muscle and losing weight, and also because I am all about cooking at home and using whole foods rather than diet foods. I am nervous about food restriction. I think for exercise I want to start with body weight exercising and move on to lifting, because it seems to be most efficient, but I'm nervous about getting started. Basically I am super weak right now, from years of being basically sedentary, and I have an old knee injury that I'm afraid of aggravating. I would like to eventually add some cardio, like running or swimming, but I feel like making all of these changes would be a tall order for just getting started. Writing this down is my baby step for today. I think it might make sense to take pictures and keep track of my weight and measurements--maybe I can work up the courage to do that later this week.

I struggle with severe depression and anxiety. My primary goal always is to make sure that neither prevents me from living my life. Mostly because I frequently feel worthless. Exercising has helped (along with medication and weekly cognitive-behavioral therapy), but I'm still working on overcoming some mental blocks. Okay so.... goal time: main quest: to take care of myself: mind, body, and spirit. goal 1: exercise 30 minutes 3x per week -escalated running c25K grading: A= 3/3, B=2/3, C=1/3 F=0/3 goal 2: meditation, 10 minutes 5x per week grading : A= 5/5, B= 4/5, C= 3/5, D=2/5 F=0/5 goal 3: 2L of water a day grading: A= 2L, B= 1.5L, C= 1L, D=.5L, F=0L other stuff: Weekly schedule template Monday: Pilates Tuesday:C25K Wednesday: Pilates Thursday: C25K (and Therapy) Friday: yoga + walking Saturday: C25K Sunday: weight training Life quest: creative writing 3x per week (any amount even a sentence, progress is still progress) grading: grading: A= 3/3, B=2/3, C=1/3 F=0/3 Be mindful, be grateful, be present.

I was going to sit this challenge out because we were supposed to be on a space-a flight to England by now, and my internet access was spotty last time I went. Instead, in another shining example of my husband's command's abusively neglectful disregard for his welfare, they told him that he didn't need any paperwork to leave the country, then at the last minute they tell him that it takes a month to go through all the paperwork. They told him it was his fault, and they washed their hands of him because he's not at the school anymore (vacationing between commands.) We're loosing a very expensive commercial return-trip, and it was money we didn't like to spend in the first place. The thing that's stopping me from going without him is that I would have to buy a commercial flight because I can't fly nearly-free without him. I got a little bit depressed and overwhelmed by the house last time he was deployed, but he also never really recovered. His ship kept increasing the amount of stress with the amount of work he needed to do, the random schedule, just using him up so much that what time he did get off wasn't enough. It would have been better for me if he wasn't there at all instead of having to take care of him when he didn't have any energy to interact. He was almost returning to normal during Christmas break, but then they started using him up so hard that having a vacation between the ship and the school was needed but denied. Also when I started panicking and being convinced that they were trying to kill him, they just casually dismissed that there was a problem. He's fairly stoic about it most of the time, but he's been dragging home stress and not being there for me for over a year and it's been wearing me down. The only thing I can do to express my frustration and anger is to say "It's not your fault" because he knows and he's helpless about what his commands do to him. Also my gradual fear of driving and inability to cope fed the problem. (The traffic here scares me, but mostly I was scared of having a panic attack while driving, which mostly would have been brought on by the fear of having a panic attack.) I also hated driving because we only have one car and his schedule isn't predictable. I told him to find me something that runs better than it looks so I won't have so much anxiety about some nut-job hitting me. I'll be checking in every once in a while, but probably not much. First I'm going to go visit my mother so that hubby can have solitude, and hopefully it will break the stress-cycle. Then in return for me painting her baseboards and a few other chores, she's going to talk me through the problems caused by my hoarding and help me get my house so that I can keep it presentable and ready for play with an easy routine. Right now, I'd have to move a bunch of stuff that doesn't have homes off of the table just to do a small puzzle. I still haven't been able to find the box that I put my cross-stitch stuff in. I stopped cooking because I got sick of cleaning the kitchen and cycling the dishwasher every single day, and then not being able to do anything fun because the rest of the house was a blocked-up mess. Hopefully I'll be ready to have a goal like "play with legos or something every day" and have it not be a chore by the time the next challenge starts.

I am 49 years old. I have gained and lost weight many times. Main Goal Long term is to lose 120 lbs. But not today. I have set up a thirty day plan and am currently on day two. It consists of five goals. I realize that is a lot but they are very tiny goals as I have a tendency to go ape shit on this weight loss thing and I am trying to take it slowly. Goal 1 Everyday I watch a lecture on positive psychology from Harvard, I am on lecture 14 and find it very helpful. For the next thirty day I will watch 45 min. of class with notes. and if it ends before the month is up I will find another motivating mentor to help keep me keep on track. Goal 2 I began walking every day. I can walk a mile or so, but am purposely beginning slowly. First week- 5 min. a day Second week- 10 min. a day Third and Fourth week -15 min a day. Goal 3 I begin a volunteer job tomorrow morning. I have had difficulties with jobs in the past due to depression and anxiety, but I am ready this time! goal three is for the next thirty days, not only go to new job, but make sure I am ready the day before. Goal 4 Get on Nerd Fitness daily, read articles, find community, accountability, Goal 5 - Life Goal Practice my ukulele for half an hour a day. I belong to a uke group, we go to nursing homes and play and it's a lot of fun. I made a large calendar with these goals and boxes to check. Once the month is up on May 27th. I will make a new month or six weeks with more challenging goals, and so on. Imagine what I will do within a year? Let's do this thing!

I had been meaning to start this last week but better late than never. Anyways, today is my birthday *shovels cake into face* and I can't think of a better day to take stock and head out on a new adventure. My previous challenge ended on a bit of a fizzle and I missed the last challenge completely, but now I'm dusting myself off and getting back into the ranks of The Rebellion. "Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday... and everything is fine" - This was on a birthday card I got today and it's going to be the focus of my challenge. I'm 26 years old, married, I own my own house with a garden, 2 cars, 3 cats and I'm a few weeks into a new job that I love. I am in the best position I have ever been and things are good in my life. Despite all this I am depressed. This often seems strange to people and they ask questions like "what's wrong?". People who have never been depressed struggle to understand that really nothing is wrong.... not on the outside. Challenge Quest Work to be the best I can be and take time to appreciate the good things. Goals Life - Find an inspiring quote everyday and keep them in a list for when I'm feeling down. Exercise - I'm getting older now and I need to make sure I'm on the right path to stay fit and healthy for the future. My new job gives me more free time in the evenings which I'm going to use to complete at least three exercise sessions per week. These can be either 30mins+ with my weights at home, 30mins+ doing an exercise video with my wife or attending an archery shoot. Diet - Keeping the same weight-gain goal from my last challenge, to hit 80kg by the end of the challenge (currently around 76kg). I will stick to mostly paleo meals and monitor this roughly every week. Health - I have a few things I'm going to try to work on: Sleep - I've tried to tackle this a few times with varied success and I'm not sure what the best way to go about it is but I'm going to try to at least normalise how much I'm getting each night.Cutting back on caffeine - my old job was very stressful and I got into drinking a lot of coffee. I think this is a big part of the troble I've been having with sleep, so I'm setting a goal of not buying anymore during the challenge. Once what I have in the house is gone, that's it.Flossing - lost count of how many times I've tried to get into this but I'm going to give it another shot because I know it's important.

Hello! I am looking for a partner(s) that can join me with on my Epic Quest to slay an Archdemon (aka my bad eating habits) for this challenge and many more challenges to come! Age/gender doesn't matter, just as long as you are an active rebel in the forums and someone that needs a companion or accountability partner in return. I am struggling with food addiction, binge eating, overeating, depression, sciatic nerve pain due to a herniated disc, and lack of motivation. I also lack accountability and consequences (aside from that dinner binge that will pile up on my butt). Most details about me can be found on my profile page, but here some basics. I am a 36 y/o mom that works a full time job and I have been struggling with my weight since I was a small child. I have only been within a healthy weight range 1 or so years out of my entire life. I am about 80 lbs overweight, but I am considering going by body fat% or body measurements from now on. I have recently cut out sodas from my daily diet, as well as sweetener from my coffee. Right now the only exercise I am able to do is walk (due to the herniated disc) and I have just started the Walk to Mordor challenge. Aside from all that fitness stuff, I love video games, anime, drawing, watercolor, sewing, cosplay, and good ghost stories. Hoping to meet some awesome folks for the journey!

Hey, So I'm assuming I'm among friends here, even some friends who were overweight before, or are overweight and struggling with it, or are even beating it. I'm sure there are people on here who have felt insecure about the way they look, too, so my question is, how do you guys deal with it? How do you embrace it? I've had family members and other people commenting on my looks for as long as I can remember. I used to be under 100 pounds, then got severely depressed and shot all the way up to 150-ish in four years, and my family has been commenting and calling me fat ever since. I've had total strangers tell me I'm ugly, and I've also had people tell me I'm one of the most beautiful people they know, but of course I think they're lying because they're my friends. I lost a lot of weight and gained a lot back, but I'm not nearly as heavy as I was in high school, so that's a plus. I always think that people are judging me on my appearance and especially my weight. I am scared to be noticed. I'm Miss Frumpy for a reason. Do I have to have a flat tummy again, dress up, and do my makeup every day to be worthy of notice? Somebody even told me once that I don't deserve an attractive partner until I do, and sometimes, with the whole prevalence of this "no fat chicks" mentality that a lot of guys seem to have, I feel like I wouldn't be able to get a partner regardless of whether or not I deserve one (Important note: dating is soooooo far from my main priority right now. The reason I mention this story is because it horrifies me that somebody felt that it was their place to say something like this, and that they felt totally comfortable doing it. It further confirms my belief that people see me and judge me for my weight, clothes, and on most days, complete lack of any makeup whatsoever, and that every time I was interested in somebody, my appearance was a huge factor in my rejection, as I have never not been rejected). Anyways, what do you guys tell yourselves to help you embrace who you are? I firmly believe that everyone deserves love and kindness, and yet I don't give myself any. How do you change a thought pattern that is so deeply ingrained? If any of you have stories that you want to share, especially if you think I could learn from them, I'd appreciate that so much. Of course, if you want to share so you have somebody else to cheer you on, I'm more than happy to do that, too. Thanks everyone, Fia