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I was only going to lurk this challenge, after completely forgetting challenges were a thing I was checking on during the last cycle and then missing my Nerds. I successfully lurked for like 3 days. And then FOMO SHINY RACCOON BRAIN STARTED SCREAMING AT ME DURING BREAKFAST. Warning: Raccoon brain is still in full effect. I make no promise any sentences I’m about to type make any damn sense. Yo … Yo … Breakfast is nice, but …. We need a June sewing project. I should make a shirt. I hate shirts. I probably can’t have only dresses in my wardrobe. I have no more room for dresses. *Stage WhIsPeR* But … what if we make a mini capsule wardrobe for our upcoming vacation since we’ve been spinning our wheels and hate all shirts in existence that don’t either cost $400, exist only in Japan or the Ukraine, only exist in digital form, or are so damn simple we can just make it ourself? Like seriously. I’ve been all over the damn Internet and 3 malls and there are only like 20 shirt designs out there right now - 10 came straight from 2007, and the other 10 are dead simple shirred cottage core looks I’m either loving or hating depending on the moment. Raccoon brain would not let me treadmill at the gym post-breakfast. WE COULD MAKE LIKE ELEVENDY THINGS Raccoon brain needed to ensconce itself in a nest of electronic devices in the lounge to draw. (I’m off again in my favorite place on Earth - just a slightly different hotel with no Starbucks) Raccoon brain forgot I can’t draw a straight line for shit and get annoyed at my handwriting on screen. Raccoon brain cobbled a workable holiday wardrobe in like an hour. Or two. I barely know what damn time it is. Ooh. And then I finished the really cool online course I started this week on creating digital floral patterns for print on fabric or other goods. This came about because I suuuuuuuuuuuuper hate all the patterns that aren’t geometric I can find at the shops - or I hate the colors because they’re not black - and DH thinks I should try to create a houndstooth-but-make-it-dachshund print. Which is hurting my brain. So. I took a pattern making course to figure out how to even make a pattern for fabric, by the chick who has the free tutorials I’ve been using to learn how to draw on the iPad in the first place. Not sure if I’ll ever actually use these skills, but it’s a thought. And something I can practice toward. I also learned how to do mock-ups in Procreate, so if I ever did want to Etsy the cards and art shit I’ve been making, I could. Maybe. Not sure how I’d actually ship items, though. Anyways. A brief catch-up because I can’t remember when I ghosted last challenge. RHOD (Real Housewives Of Doha - aka my expats behaving badly drinking group) friends came in to town to celebrate one of the group’s 50th. Three of us shut the bar down on 3 separate occasions that week and hung out for dry breakfasts a couple times. A good time was had by all. I bailed on yoga every day I was either busy or hung over, which was most days last week. Or the week before since this is actually Monday. This last week, I’ve been in the Happiest Place On Earth - taking my course, hitting the gym for at least :30 on a scenic zippy walk program every day but the longer mall walk day, and crocheting - then destroying - a project I hated. And planning our next vacation - to Greece - where we aim to meet up with @DarK_RaideR Excited is an understatement. Hence the manic crafting plans. And I broadly sketched out like everything in a couple hours without the 2 months of intensive underpants collecting I normally go through. Thinking about AI taking my damn job potential still hurts my heart’s feelings, but I broke down and put an itinerary request into Google Bard - and it wasn’t terrible. I used like a tenth of it, but it was … interesting. I like my underpants, though. I then limited myself to 3 ‘this is the ultimate list of shit to do in Athens+’ and the suggestions a friend sent, and I was off. Remembering this is July and the entirety of the UK is like to descend upon Greece like a horde of sunburnt sausages, I preliminary booked tours for the biggie sites we wanted to see that involve small groups + waaaaaaaay too early for my liking times in the hopes to avoid said hordes for the nerdy parts. Of course, we are also in talks with a tattoo studio I’ve been Insta-stalking for years …. But this is about the patterns! Bummer. Freeform won’t easily export a good file. This is my chicken-scratch plan, and it even includes a COLOR and a PATTERN. *pats self on back* - let’s see if I can physically purchase fabric in a bright color and/or a pattern. Or, if I can even find such a thing. - Updates may be infrequent, but I’m aiming to lurk daily at least.

Goodday folks, So uh. Life is hectic but slowly finally calming down. I switched places of residence for the 3rd time in the past 1,5 year last month. I have a rental contract for 2 years where I am now, whew. Fitness status That does mean I'm still not there yet with deciding where I want to sign up for... Whatever sport I settle on. And I still need to take a moment to figure out how I can strength train at home easily. As I wrote this, I actually got an idea or two, which is great. I'm so glad our forum still gets maintained ❤️ I have been better and better about picking up my meditation practice. Did morning yoga nearly every morning last week. My hypermobility issues had their moments, but not terrible ones going by the fact that I could still keep on wearing heels no problem. I'm stiff as fuck but that'll work itself out, I'm feeling it already. I've been out quite a lot in the past month, which means dancing and walking. It's great. Spring is really here where I am right now. Fitness goals As for challenge goals, I'd like to keep checking in here for the healthy environment. Keep on going with my yoga practice. I want to check out the tennis lessons in the area. That'd be fun. I've had some tennis during my studies and during high school. Life goals - Learning how to: people SOOO as you may have gathered, the real matter on my mind right now is learning how to people. When my last relationship ended and I decided to go on a dating moratorium to figure my toxic patterns out, comfortable in the knowledge,... "knowledge" that my friendships ARE healthy... I found out that I'd overestimated how healthy they were haha. Not just on my side, but also on the other side with one friend, my closest one. I'd just been too busy with my family drama, my obsessive mother, to notice. My general boundary setting skills trickled over to those friendships, and in some ways I took more space because I asked friends for help, and things changed in perspective shifting ways. My closest one is actually the least likely to continue on based on what I'm getting from her (though we need to talk to figure that out). I've been working on the others. And I've been making new friends. Tangentially I've also been navigating inter colleague relationships in ways I've never done, for example at school and university. Sounds like an open door but I usually like to apply similar principles in new "sorta formal/sorta informal" situations but now. It's so different. It's all been very refreshing to navigate with my new insights, also from therapy. I went on a couple of dates that went so entirely different than what I've been used to. Learning new things about myself and what I want, who I am. All of this is great but it's also making me rather insecure about everything I thought I knew about interpersonal contact/communication :') So I'm going to go ahead and start reading articles on those things. And applying lessons that seem useful asap, see how things go. My biggest, most impactful lesson of the past 2-3 years has been allowing myself to experiment and explore freely. It's great. But if I'd said this to me of 5 years ago I don't think I would have been able to feel it. I was in survival mode. Now I still am but in different ways. So yeah. Probably going to document my journey about that here. Good times are ahead! Finances, getting stuff that is mine I've never been without stuff, really. But my things rarely felt mine because yeah. Emotionally abusive household, hurrah. I left a loooot at my parental home last year. No furniture besides two night cabinets. Safe to say I'm glad I'm not too shabby at saving. Another thing is that I'm building my wardrobe back up to where I like it. My job and desired social & exercise life requires some purchases (and my fun levels require some make-up and cosmetics now that my brain is freeing up and I'm taking care of myself the way I enjoy). All of this requires careful monitoring without straining myself so bad I spiral. Woohoo!

Goodness. The previous challenge seems to have slipped out the door whilst I was just maintaining a rhythm. Ok, then. All of my challenges in this manifestation of my character have been aimed at living into a healthy pattern of life that coincidentally increases my stripper tips (if I got any). Recently, I had the thought to apply this through the lens of Druid magic, so here’s the framework: Water Prime my personal energy by proper hydration — packing water, limiting caffeine intake, and minimizing alcohol and other diuretic fluids. Fire Build energy by balancing macros and food intake for target BMR — packing lunch daily, sticking to the 7pm cutoff, and minimizing processed foods. Earth Build core strength and stability through Pilates and yoga. 4x weekly for 30 minutes is the goal. Air Increase aerobic fitness through running or alternative cardio, utilizing the maximum aerobic fitness framework of 80% work below threshold heart rate. 4x weekly = 3 slow easy runs and one intense interval or tempo run. Ether Daily meditation and/or contemplative prayer. Two long opportunities: morning at work and evening before bed. Warrior’s meditation (Micro-meditations using vagal breathing) throughout the day. Healing Be a healer in all domains of life: Sleep 8 hours. Eat restfully. Move fluidly. Listen attentively. Speak melodically. Return to kindness. I’ll check on more frequently this time, too. 😊

Hello. Thank you all for having me still. I'm so tired. But I keep taking steps. Funny how much energy you have in you when you believe there's more. Saturday a friend comes over to help me with moving stuff. Last leg. Getting bed frames from ikea. 2 oneperson to have, well, a huge bed ahhh, and also going to get things to be able to make them into a couch idea and to be able to sleep separately, maybe with a screen or so, when I have someone over for visit. Until I build a circle in my new living space most of my friends still live a decent amount of time away. The big question: will I finally feel safe and secure enough to get a gym membership?! lol Challenge goals are keep breathing. Keep moving and laughing. Keep bobbing and weaving the negative. Keep seeking out the people and activities that give me energy. Breaking the cycle.

Well hello. The book has changed significantly since I first joined in 2017. Some pages were stained, others ripped out, and a fair few just chewed up by the dog. So I am respawning into a new book. I'm determined to let go of the stained/chewed up/burned/ripped out pages and start a new story fresh and full of joy. Since 2018, I lost my then-fiancé, met someone new, had three of my sister's children move in with me, had a son, got married, finished my Master's degree, started a Ph.D, quit my job as a high school teacher to focus on being a college professor, had a couple of mental health crises, gained 100 lbs in the process, developed PCOS and compressed discs in my neck and back, rekindled a relationship with my father (whom I nearly lost to a stroke), was diagnosed with ADHD, and found mental health relief for the first time in nearly 20 years. So it's been a mixed bag, for sure. Now I am looking forward to the future ahead, one that finds me healthier and happier than I have ever been. That extra 100 lbs has been borderline killing me, and it needs to go, for my sake and my son's sake. He's nearly four now; I want to be sure I am a good role model of what relationships with food and physical activity look like. As of today, I have had 2 workouts in a row. It doesn't sound like much, but every journey begins with a single step, right? Goals for 5/7-6/10 Maintain a workout schedule How: Rotating between 30 minute walks and using the Mirror for 20-30 minutes for more cardio/yoga/Tai Chi. When: 4-5 days a week Extra: Add to calendar each day to make sure I am holding myself accountable and not scheduling in other things that could get in the way of my health Drink at least 32 oz of water per day How: Fill up water bottle at the beginning of the day and make sure it is empty by 10 PM When: Daily Extra: Reward for doing this for the entire challenge: a witchy Juggy! (80% of days must have been achieved) Turn in all missing homework and final paper for FIC course How: make a daily schedule to tackle the stories that need to be done. Dedicate 1 hour to each story + critique letter When: by May 11th, 2023 Extra: put in homework time into my calendar to make sure I am completing all of the assignments without other obligations interfering.

The earthquake finally stops. Scalyfreak stays under the altar until the last aftershocks fade, just in case, but she is eventually forced out into the open by one of the most basic animal needs. Thankfully, the Temple of Iron is outfitted with a large and comfortable bathroom for all visitors to use, and Scalyfreak is all too happy to make use of every fixture in it. Freshly showered, and thinking more clearly as a result, Scalyfreak returns to the altar and the pack with clothing she left there and proceeds to change into a clean outfit. That done, she unpacks her travel rations, her water bottle, and the very lovely-smelling fruit pastries she purchased at that last stop in that charming village, and makes an effort to estimate how long they will last. The water at least is not a problem, thanks to the font behind the altar. In addition to being fed by a stream from up in the mountains above the temple, the font is also connected to a complex system that collects rainwater, to ensure hydration for temple visitors at all times. This is good news, because although the earthquake is over, the storm continues. The wind howls, the hail is pummeling the roof above Scalyfreak, but that is far less of a concern than the small amount of food she has with her. The Temple of Iron is impervious. It will keep any and all danger away from those who visit it, Scalyfreak knows this for a fact. She is not worried, as long as she can remain in the temple There is the small matter of running out of food over the next week or so, but there is water, and water can make the food last. Before diving straight this challenge period, here's a brief “intro” for anyone who doesn't know me very well: Those of you who read my previous challenge know that I very unexpectedly found myself among the casualties of a restructuring and headcount reduction effort at work. That's a complex and polite way of saying I was laid off to save the company money. Now, looking for work is never fun, and looking for work under these circumstances is even less so. It is also, to no one's surprise, incredibly stressful. To add to the stress of finding a new job, I am also dealing with the realization that the job I was asked to leave was gradually burning me out. I think I was too busy to notice, and now that I'm no longer distracted by the daily stressors of the job, it's becoming obvious. So that's an issue that I now have to deal with as well. I'm not going to involve job searching in my challenge goals, at any point in any challenge period. Instead, I'm going to focus these challenges on something more important – taking care of my mental health. This will involve meditating, deliberate movement and/or going outside where the sky is, and also reflecting on the positive things in life. Structured into challenge goals, all of that looks something like this: Activate daily resilience buff ...by meditating every morning. The form of meditation is irrelevant, but for easy tracking will most likely be done with the Insight Timer app. Cast healing spells during the day ...by going outside at least once every day. Going with the Happy Sidekick is preferable, though at her age and with the state of her arthritis, walks with her are too slow and short to count as actual exercise. Because of this, this particular goal can also be met by exercising either at home or at the gym. Apply Regeneration talisman ...in the form of a gratitude journal every evening. I will use this not only to make note of what I appreciate and am grateful for, but also to reflect on what I need to let go of and what I perhaps need to work on. This is a two-phase goal, as the talisman in question has yet to be delivered, largely due to slow shipping. This will be treated as a priority, because the sooner I have the actual journal in hand, the sooner I can get started doing this properly. (While I await the arrival of the talisman journal I plan to use a regular notebook for this goal, since that is better than skipping it, and Therapist #4 sent me a journaling worksheet I can use for prompts.)

Don't expect none of that cute hippie/anime stuff. I'm here to make druids metal. So last challenge I was doing well, until my left eye decided to go all red and start itching. My doctor told me it was a combination of chronic eye dryeness (which I was aware of), spending many hours a day in front of a computer (which I was also aware of, but it's not something new that happened after I landed a job back in November) and stress. I've always had a blood pressure, pulse and body heat lower than what's considered "average" and none of them ever spiked up, so I was confused. I didn't have any incidents of stress-related symptoms like hyperventilation or panic attacks previously, but I was undoubtedly getting stressed with something pressing at work at the time, so clearly there was something at work. Furthermore, the doctor told me part of the issue is anatomical, in that my eye has developed an extensive blood vessel network to make up for eye dryness. This means it's something I can't change, but also that when the pressure goes up, it looks worse than it actually is and I have more vessels pressing my eyeball. Cherry on top, the example the doctor used to explain what's going on with my eye was that it's similar to muscles getting the pump after a workout. As such, I took a break from my daily heavy weightlifting plan and also decided to cut myself some slack in terms of strict nutrition parameters and cutting down on the smoking. It was a conscious break, with me well aware that I wasn't gonna let everything go downhill, just take it easy for a while and prepare my eventual comeback. As the challenge begins, this is my comeback. My work situation is more or less non-negotiable, so the idea is to organize the rest of my day in order to balance out all the bad stuff that work inevitably brings upon me. Furthermore, I'm doing away with SMART goals, or goals per se in general, as I do not need the added pressure of sticking to them, or the disappointment of not sticking to them. This is more or less going to be a list of things I'd like to do throughout the day, with me scoring how much of it actually happened by the end of it. Soak in the Sun I've made a habit of not checking my phone as soon as I wake up. Deleting my social media has helped immensely with that and I cannot recommend it enough, for way more reasons than just this. As the days get longer and warmer, I'd like to make a habit of taking in a bit of sun in the morning. It's good for one's Circadian Rhythm (fancy name for what we call a "biological clock"), meaning it gets you up and energized fast, keeps you going throughout the day and helps you sleep earlier at night. Also, I spend most of the day inside the office, even if my desk is next to a window or I might go out to grab a coffee, so that's a plus. Now I don't have the time to go out for a morning walk, but at least I can have my breakfast on the balcony, even if I do live right on a busy highway that's clogged with traffic in the morning. Might at least give me a sense of taking some time off for myself in the morning, as opposed to rushing out to go to work. Serpentine Slither Ever since the eye situation last challenge, I did a bit of research in regards to what type of workouts are suitable for people with high blood pressure. It seems the general consensus is to avoid high intensity, which sucks because I love high intensity workouts, to the point where I don't feel like I'm actually putting in any effort and really working out unless I'm on the edge of passing out. All of the mid to low intensity workouts are about low and slow, easing into a workout state and then keeping the burn going for as long as possible, but frankly, I don't have the damn time to take a 30+ minute walk or do any of that stuff. So, I'm going back to NF Yoga. It's worked for me several times in the past, to the point where I know all of Steve's jokes by heart. All I need is to get myself a yoga mat and pray the younger of my two cats isn't too disruptive. Once I get back into the groove of things, I might just write down the poses and do them in my own time or something, but for now I just need to take that first step. Inner Peace: Overrated This is the meditation part and the title isn't me taking a smartass jab. You just can't always be peaceful inside. Hell, you can strive to be peaceful and that struggle is, by definition, not something peaceful and calm. It's all about balance. Meditation is about being present in the moment, whatever that moment is like. The biggest benefit I've reaped from practicing meditation is learning how to just observe thoughts and feelings, without rushing to judge, process or otherwise interact with them. To paraphrase a rather enlightening Headspace video, the point is to sit by and observe that stuff go by, like watching cars in traffic, but we get this urge to hop in and start directing that traffic. It begins with thoughts and feelings you get during meditation, but in time, you start to apply this approach in your daily life as you acknowledge them outside of meditation as well. Heck, you even start to notice things outside of you that would otherwise affect you, but show the patience and wisdom to not react immediately in a rush of poorly thought-out emotion. I need that vibe back in my life, especially with the aforementioned stress situation. Also, I've noticed my mind's starting to overload, to the point where I make basic mistakes or forget elementary things. Focus is needed. Master of the Pack Might be a stretch to say I live for my two cats, though I sure do go to work every day in order to make sure they never run out of food, water and kitty litter. They're my flatmates, my buddies, occasional partners in crime and a responsibility I welcome. These days our interactions mostly involve them expecting food as soon as I wake up, pacing around the kitchen while I prepare my food or falling asleep next to me on the bed. Whether they're cuddling, laying about or performing some sort of feline tomfoolery, they ground me by reminding me to not stress about what's not really important. I'd like to pay them some more attention, plus the more time I spend with them is less time spent on a screen. They bloody well deserve it. Caustic Cauldron of Cautiousness You guessed it, this is the nutrition part. Again, I don't want to put too much pressure on myself on this part, so merely bringing home cooked food to work is enough for now. I've fallen off that habit as of late, which means poorly spent money on meals and snacks of poor nutritional value. Getting back on the cooking habit every evening is easy enough to stick with and it should sort these things out. Won't lie, I'm hoping for a snowball effect here, from upping my grocery shopping game to being more mindful of what I eat, but those are side benefits and ambitions that may or may not come. For now, I'm keeping it simple and easy. Just bring a damn meal I made, everyday, to work for lunch. Sleep Pretty self explanatory. I don't exactly struggle to fall asleep, quite the opposite, actually, but I do tend to get caught up on all sorts of stupid things that keep me up till late, instead of straight up going to bed and getting enough rest. It's been a few months since I moved my usual wake-up time of 8am (or later, prior to getting this job) to 6-6:30am and I don't always make it to work the next morning with all the hours of sleep my mind and body need. If I'm to get the full 8 hour experience, I need to be in bed by 10pm.

The Way of the Jellyfish I’m looking to be able to absorb and go with the flow, no matter what plot twist or power surge comes my way. And, speaking of power surges, I saw meaningful discharges over the course of the last challenge, in the form of messages I sent out and messages I received from my body. Electric fences pack a huge wallop. Conflict is inevitable; combat is a choice. When we are in a position of power, we can choose to act from a place of agency and authority, in elastic response to, and in harmony with, the ocean of chaos and outrage around us, without losing our boundaries. This is the goal. It will require detangling how I have woven the story of my Self with threads (and at times knots) of others, unwinding my habits, tendencies, and fears. This will not be easy or simple, and it will likely be the beginning of a lifetime of weaving who I am in the world. The Details The spreadsheet is much slimmer this round. Constitution: Acupuncture. Rest. This is enough. Strength: Go to work. Do PT. Dexterity: Emotional Balance. Public Transit. Wisdom: Debt Payments. Emergency fund. Taxes. Oh My. Intelligence: Finish the Overdue Paper and turn it in. Charisma: Connect with others. Cultivate a genuine support network. Beginning Stats Constitution 2 Strength 3 Dexterity 4 Wisdom 4 Intelligence 3 Charisma 2

I respawned fairly recently and, since it was mid-challenge, have been posting in a battle log, trying to figure out what I'm doing. Tl;dr: I have some chronic health issues (hEDS/MCAS/POTS type stuff) but have been feeling fairly well through luck/lifestyle stuff recently. I would like to continue feeling ok (or even better) and also ideally lose 20-25 pounds. What I learned from my battle log and efforts so far this year is that my exercise goal was working better than any of the others due to a combination of 1) actually enjoying the activities, 2) gamified tracking and 3) progress I could easily see. So, for this challenge, I'm trying to redesign my other goals around a similar fun-centered approach. 1. Exercise I have a Halo Band tracker that gives me an automatic goal of 150 "movement points" weekly, which apparently comes from WHO fitness recommendations. Meeting that goal has been motivating but not too difficult, so I plan to keep that up. Methods: - 3 sessions per week of either bicycling or going to the climbing gym (hopefully improving my performance in those activities) - (optional) doing a few squats and lunges (to strengthen my not-that-great-knee) and also some plank on other days - generally taking other opportunities for physical activity and trying not to be too sedentary 2. Food I've been counting calories, but I don't love that for various reasons and have only lost about five pounds so far, anyway. So, I recently downloaded a nutrivore nutrient tracker (the image I'm attaching only shows part of it), and have been experimenting with it. It's pretty hard to get all these nutrients (and, I think that if I did manage to do it I would also be at a pretty high number of calories) but I could certainly do a lot better than I did last week and displace a lot of unhealthy food choices. So, my second goal is to focus on nutrition. Methods: - experiment with healthy recipes and prep food I actually want to eat - generally try to fill up on nutrient-dense foods first - use the nutrient tracker, try to complete as much as reasonably possible 3. Qigong/Meditation I really want to have a daily meditation practice, for stress reduction/health as well as other reasons. My usual goal is 30 min per day of seated meditation, as well as a daily qigong practice that takes about 15 minutes (and also counts toward my exercise goals). I'm not currently good at meeting these goals, so these are my current ideas to make it more pleasant/feasible: - allow a shortened version of qigong practice (about 5 minutes) if I'm not feeling it - allow guided meditation or self-hypnosis recordings if I'm not feeling the standard seated meditation - create and use a tracker for this, too, so I can see my progress 4. Sleep My fitness tracker also tracks sleep, and this has helped me to realize that my sleep is just...bad. I'm usually in bed for a decent number of hours, but I'm a very light sleeper and sometimes have trouble falling (or staying) asleep. As much as I kind of want to hold on to one of my few remaining health vices (being a night owl), I'm guessing this is really not good for my ongoing health issues – so, I'm adding a goal of improving my sleep score. I'm also not sure what to do about this, but my current ideas include: - really try hard to actually turn the lights out eight hours before I have to wake up for work (recently got partner on board with this) - set up the most ideal sleep situation with plenty of wiggle room, darkness, weighted blanket, water, etc. - take melatonin if I'm tossing and turning I do use a dream journal and am pretty inspired by dream content for my creative projects, so I'm trying to keep that in mind as another thing that could help me get motivated about this. Anyway, I may have gotten carried away with detail there, but I'm trying hard to think about what will help. In short, my goals for this challenge are: - try to meet my fitness tracker activity goals - try to improve my fitness tracker sleep score - eat more delicious and nutritious foods - build a very basic daily qigong and meditation habit

This challenge is all about fine-tuning habits, breaking up large blocks into smaller modules, and building in agility. Previous challenges have a common theme -- I get into a groove, and then get interrupted. I find a good time for my workout...someone else thinks that's a great time for their meeting. I find a good staple for my lunch kit...someone else decides not to stock that item any more. I find a spot for meditation...someone else decides I look lonely and could use some company. The world is dynamic, so I have to be more agile. Another common thread in those past challenges is that I have tended to program in large blocks: workout once per day, eat twice per day, sleep x to y, meditate z amount of time. I've wanted to nail it all down. But that's what blows up, and worse...that's what I also get bored with. This time, we're breaking it into smaller bites. BODY Fuel: work toward macro balance and calorie targets. I've set my calorie intake to target BMR + workout calories, with an understanding that every single monitor overestimates workout calories. Still, I'll keep packing my early meal, logging both meals, and cutting off snacks 2 hours before bed. Hydrate properly! Work: Here's where the smaller pieces start. This time we'll try morning Pilates, so that lunch only needs the run (continuing the heart rate focused MAF routine, so these are easy runs). This will also give me two chances at getting something in, so interruptions won't necessarily cost me a whole day's workout. Mon-Tues, rest on Wed, Thu-Fri, recover on weekends. HEART Play: Work through the fretboard course on bass (I dug out the guidebook, so just need that 10-minute minimum 5x weekly). Do something for self-care twice weekly. I have sucked at this...working on it. Love: Mindful listening practice continues: look at the talking face! The second piece: respond to the emotional need in the talking, and not necessarily the concrete one. There are already a thousand little pieces to this one. SOUL Grow: This is another small-pieces area. I need to use pomodoro much more frequently, and with more intention. So: identify the daily task, and work on it with gentle intentionality during the pomodoro sessions. Pray: Continue daily meditation, but add in grounding at key times. A short list of such keys: before driving, before a meeting or phone call, before eating, before exercising. Again, many opportunities so that missing one long sit doesn't derail the intention. REST: Down by 10:00, up by 5:30. Eat restfully. Walk between pomodoros at work.

Hello hello! Last challenge was my big respawn - to quote myself: I was hoping to have gotten dressed and crafted that wooden sword last challenge, and I didn't do that. But what did I do? I got dressed, and I found that stick. So here we are, last challenge's level up: (Cue level up music) Not quite what I was hoping, but good progress nonetheless. Here's a recap of some big wins and an overall overview of how I felt the challenge went: This challenge is going to be taking the last challenge and adding on to it. TL;DR: I'm a Nature Bonded Magus. and I'm putting myself through Nature Bonded Magus "School", while I rebuild my strength and life back post neuro lyme disease. Think of this like a tutorial level of a video game, I'm focusing on the basics. With this challenge specifically, the biggest thing going on is that everything is going on. I have appointments with 3 different new specialists, which is fantastic, but just a lot. One's a new psychiatrist and I'm hoping to be well enough post-lyme to be able to go back on my adhd meds - that would be huge. We've also decided to move full steam ahead on the interior of the house projects for the next 6 weeks, so I'm going to be needing to help with those when I can. I'll be working on the project plan and ordering all of our supplies tomorrow - going to be a lot. A lot a lot a lot. We've mapped it and it's all realistic, and will be worth it, these are all projects that you save a lot of work if you can do together - and right now, staying busy is better for my brain than not. I'm excited to have a direct focus. I'm also even more excited to have the major projects done - living without a fully functional bathroom and kitchen get old quick, and some of the upgrades will have a huge impact on every single day, so I'm excited to get them done. I need to build a chicken coop to house 18 chickens that will be ready to go outside in just a few weeks, so let's hope the snow and the ground melt. Aaaaaand lastly we've agreed to bring home a puppy the first week of May. We have a million reasons for having a farm dog, and now is the perfect time because it is going to provide me with a ton of structure and forced socialization in a way that I'm comfortable with (since the puppy will need to be socialized I will have to start leaving the house). And once he's old enough, one of the things we're going to train him to do is get help if I pass out, leaving me much more comfortable to do high risk activities like gardening in my yard in the sun. (That sounds silly but that's my reality right now!) What about Felix, you say? Well, apparently when they created him they accidentally included an entire bottle of the laziness from his bernese mountain dog grandfather instead of just a tiny drop and he has legit zero desire to be a task dog. Totally fine, he's absolutely wonderful and a funny dude and we love him to pieces, but he's more of a cuddler than a... do anything'er. He enjoys walking around the forest with us and exploring, and loves hanging out in the yard eating sticks, but he's gonna get eaten by a coyote before he even notices it there. Even though he's enjoying being a chicken mama, I think that's mostly so he can lick their butts and taste poo. It's time to bring in the reinforcements. I love dogs, I love training dogs, So I'm psyched. But, all of the house projects need to be done before he comes home. And the chicken coop, and the fence. And on top of that, I need to do that whole health thing.... So, let's get on with the good stuff. THE GOALS NATURE BONDED MAGUS "SCHOOL" I'll adjust the exact times and goals of the next day each night, at 8:45 when an alarm goes off and we review the day and plan tomorrow's day. That's the anchor. I'm putting big "end of challenge goals" to start for some of these - I'll break those down each week. Terrain Mastery/Woodland Stride: (Anything outside, gardening, building the chicken coop, setting up the rabbits, etc - work outside, going for a walk, Stomping through the woods, exploring Morning Walk Get Chicken Coop Built Get Fence Installed Spellstrike: Strength Training, 2-3x per week Since the house projects and outdoor projects are so physically intensive, and I'm sore from them more often or not, my goal will be to strength train 2-3x per week depending on projects. If I'm not sore, or doig a physically intensive project, I have to work out though Shoveling counts, too, if we get 32" again, that's for sure. Spellbooks: Planning and Journaling 8:45 Nightly Arcane Pool: Nightly Yoga, after spellbooks Tomorrow I'll get everything scheduled on the calendar for the upcoming zero week. That's it for now!

Continuing my last challenge!

Spring is near for those of us in the northern hemisphere, so I think a spring themed challenge is appropriate. The key word for this challenge is NOURISHMENT. An account I follow on Instagram, Noble King Wolf, posted a quote that has stuck with me: "I don't want satisfaction. I need nourishment." That is my overarching goal for this challenge: to be nourished. Goal 1: Nourish My Soul speak gratitude: say a brief prayer of gratitude upon waking re-instate a morning devotional practice (reading/listening, prayer/meditation) daily gratitude journaling: write down at least three things I am grateful for every day practice at least one act of random kindness every day spend at least 30 minutes outside in nature, preferably near trees and water Goal 2: Nourish My Heart spend quality time with wife and kids; include physical touch (hugs, high fives, snuggling, etc.) speak at least one compliment to my wife daily practice at least one romantic gesture for my wife daily spend time daily reflecting on things that I love listen to music that lifts my heart Goal 3: Nourish My Body move my body in fun, dynamic, and challenging ways that feel good eat foods that nourish rather than satisfy (i.e. nutritious whole foods with simple ingredients, no "empty calories") savor what I eat and drink; use all of my senses to truly enjoy it drink more water; no seriously, drink more water listen closely to my body's signals: eat when I feel hungry, rest when I feel tired, be alert when I feel stressed/overwhelmed/irritated/anxious Goal 4: Nourish My Mind read something for at least 20 minutes per day listen to informative and/or inspiring podcasts read at least one scholarly/educational article every day complete the daily requirements on Duolingo complete the daily requirements on Elevate

The morning started out great. Scalyfreak woke up in the Temple of Iron, safe and sound and well rested. She ate her breakfast, washed in the basin behind the altar and refilled her water skin from the stream. She dressed for the road, packed up her belongings, and begun the days travels. She barely made it half a mile before the storm hit. Heavy rain that soon turned into hail, gusts of wind so strong she struggles to stay upright, and (bizarrely) the roar of thunder. As if this wasn't bad enough, when the next bolt lightning streaks across the sky the silhouette of Stress-Hydra appears on the horizon, several of her heads turned in Scalyfreak's direction; smiling. Screw this. Scalyfreak turns and traces her path back though the forest... through the mud and water and winds, until she reaches the Temple of Iron again and crawls in, her legs too unsteady to be trusted in the powerful winds that have turned the hail from an inconvenience into pummeling experience. The unmistakable hissing and stomping of Stress-Hydra draws nearer, but the monster thankfully is too far away to be able to do anything as Scalyfreak finally manages to close the temple doors, despite the wind's best efforts to slam them open. The silence inside the temple feels eerie and unsettling by contrast to the outside, but the calm doesn't last for long... Scalyfreak yelps in frightened surprise when the entire building begins to sway, and curls up underneath altar, both arms wrapped around her head for protection while she waits for the earth quake to pass. The temple may be safe... but the rest of the world is in complete disarray. Before diving straight this challenge period, here's a brief “intro” for anyone who doesn't know me very well: Earlier this week, I learned the hard way that being absolutely brilliant at my job did not actually make me immune to the cost savings driven layoffs happening at work. I'm officially “on the books” until the end of February, and will continue to get paid during this period. There is also a severance thing that gives more money to help me out while looking for a new employer, and a bunch of stuff I need to do and deal with... they helpfully emailed me a checklist, that Husband and I spent today going over together, to make sure I'm getting every single little crumb these ungrateful weasels owe me. So now I need to find a new job. Happy fucking birthday to me. (I may be a little bitter. I'm working on it.) Recover HP (physical health) Continue going for walks every day and the gym three days per week. Absolutely do not use this as an excuse to stop taking care of my body. Restore Mana (mental health) Meditation has been upgraded from “necessary” to “critical”. Being unemployed is rocket fuel on The Flame of Anxiety. Regenerate Stamina (emotional bandwidth) Actively resist the temptation to sink into over-analysis and bitterness. Nothing can change what happened, but I can change how it affects me by choosing what to focus on, and what I think about what happened. And I will not let this ruin all the hard work I have put into my mental health. My former employer does not deserve that kind of power over me.

Excited to be returning from a hiatus! Here's my last challenge:

Slaying dragons, vanquishing evil or just being a bad ass is hard work and requires preparation of the mind, body and soul. Preparation can be done in two ways, haphazardly, or well thought out and methodically. The former usually results in failure, the latter if done right can lead to success. This druid (now warrior) seeks to be an all around bad ass and looks to the warriors before her to learn how to train smart and hard for the adventures to come. Training regiment: Getting strong of body requires that you actually train. For the next 5 weeks my training schedule with a local warrior will be : Tuesdays after work Fridays before noon Sundays at home by 2 PM These sessions will be mostly lifting heavy things with some overall body conditioning mixed in. (I am hitting 2 out 3 of these days currently so this goal is only the addition of Sundays) Meal planning: Successful regular training requires well balanced meals. In our manor we have implemented monthly meal plans to help remove decision fatigue around what to eat, cook or buy. Each meal for the next 5 weeks will continue to include at least one serving of: Fruits Vegetables Protein Complex Carbohydrate 12 oz of water To allow for some flexibility, one cheat meal per meal time (so one for breakfast, one for lunch and one for dinner for a total of 3) is allowed each week. (I am currently hitting these goals for 80% of my meals.) Mental Health/Rest Rest is essential to training and mental health hardens the mind for the adventure ahead. For the next 5 weeks this will include Bed before 11 PM. The digital devices will be placed across the room or removed entirely. (Rest) Wake when the bird alarm chirps and get out of bed (6:30 AM). Journal/mediate/yoga (Mental Health) Move every hour during mental tasks/work day (Mental Health) Ask others to do tasks in our manor that need to be completed so I have space/time to focus on rest and mental health. (Rest and mental health) (The first three bullets here are carry overs from the last challenge. The fourth one is new and one I have been trying to do more of) Creative outlets Training all the time isn’t fun. Therefore fun should be had in other spaces. For this challenge some fun things I could do: Writing creatively. I am going to try the 5 week world building challenge. I have been dwelling on some ideas that I need to get down and the excuse “I am not good at writing creatively” doesn’t do me any favors. The new mindset here is “Creative writing is a muscle just like my biceps and needs to be worked”. Getting a weekly date night with the hubs or hanging with friends. We used to do this a lot and I miss it. It allowed us to connect and get out of the house. D&D. I am the GM for our current campaign. This is a newer muscle I have been building. Learning French. We have a trip to France this summer and I don’t want to sound like a complete idiot. I am using Duolingo currently and we have a close friend who is also fluent that I would like to ask for help in speaking at least the basics. Tracking/Measuring Progress For Training regiment, I will be taking measurements before and after the challenge. For meals I will continue tracking in MyFitnessPal For rest and mental health I will continue journaling my progress here. For creative fun I will get at least week one and week two date/meet up with friends on the calendar by the start of the challenge.

Right-o. This is a challenge during which I am full on going to channel the science of breath. However, the flu knocked me down on Wednesday afternoon. So what my exact plan is is still floating in the air. I had started doing random exercises to get rid of tension at home, along with dancing. Pretty weird slowly seeing glimpses of who I am. Who I was becoming at around 17-18 coming back to me. Pre-pandemic me. 6-7 year old me. I will piece myself together ❣️

The liturgical calendar marks this as the season of Lent, my favorite season of the Church year, one marked by dedication and gratitude. Through mindful application of ourselves and our spirit, the Way opens before us, as if lit by small lights that bolster us in our efforts. This is the Way. Last challenge I took stock of where I am, of what worked and what didn’t. This round I’m applying a bit of a honing blade, sloughing off that which doesn’t serve me and narrowing my focus and efforts onto what does. Also last challenge I resurrected the old-school skills tree, marking my progress in somewhat less-than-orthodox ways, but meaningful ones nonetheless. I’m interested to see what comes of this next segment, and would like to level up a point in each. Sometimes the Universe gives me the opportunity to level up a second point as well. Constitution: This is wellness, and includes Acupuncture, gym time, good food, and plenty of water and sleep. It also includes the apartment work that I’ve been doing, because being at home while I’m at home is a comfort and an anchor. Strength: Go to work, each day and every day. I know this seems simple. It’s not as easy as it sounds, physically, and I’m seven months into a six-week contract. Being a contractor has a lot of uncertainty with it, so part of my job is also cultivating and nurturing having my job. (See Dexterity) Additionally, my doctor as given me a PT regimen beyond the routine walking. I’ll be doing exercises with bands in the hopes that additional physical strength will help relieve some of the tension and inflammation that is everywhere all the time. Dexterity: Lots of emotional balance going on between the job and the relationship with my daughter. It feels like significant moments are on the horizon for each. Any movement stat also has to take into consideration transportation, which is once again in the Challenge column. I’m hoping to get more fluent with public transit this round. For everything else, there is Uber. Wisdom: Speaking of balance, there’s also perspective. This is the “choose well” portion of keeping my center and being able to choose well during the chaos. It’s also about lightening my debt load. I’d loaded up some debts with scary interest rates over the last couple years, and I’m grateful I was able to leverage my way out of a bad situation, and now it’s time to put that behind me as swiftly and neatly as possible, without wrecking anything else. Possible bonuses to other stats as well. Intelligence: The class wraps up this challenge, and I’m glad I’m taking an accelerated course. Also, there’s a fair amount of work that gets to be done for the dissertation. Before I take on the next project, there’s a lingering, overdue paper that I really want to finish up and move on from, probably next challenge, but definite bonus sparkles if I get it done this round. Charisma: Alliances and support. We aren’t meant to be on this path alone. Thanks for being here.

Non scale goals for the next 5-6 months: (So I can remember) Be strong and mentally flexible for all the opportunities that jump my way Be strong enough to move into a new apartment, and adopt 2 cats simultaneously (fyi I haven't owned a furry pet in almost 10 year, and any breathing pet in 5+ years). Go to ValleyFair (local Amusement park) with no worries of fitting in rides and keep up with my 6'4 brother (I'm 5'11 but damn last year I had drink an energy drink or 2 just to keep up) This challenge goals: -Start bedtime routine 7/8 pm (I wake up at 5 am... so need the extra time to chill) -"Move the Body" - Workout twice a week, trying to get 15 mins of "meaningful movement" everyday -Balanced Plates /Weekly meal plan: Eat mostly from home with "NF balanced plate" All these goals I realize fall under self care. I also have the "meditation goal" but that right now ties with the bedtime routine. End of the last challenge I found I was having a harder time to go to bed at 7 pm due to the quiet brings up the trauma. I am working with someone on this, but doesn't help that some nights I am just broken. That I'm looking forward to getting cats to help with the loneliness that I've been dealing with. Cats are a bit delayed on owning due to needing to move to an apartment that allows them (the perk is also a bigger apartment for myself).

I'm figuring out life post Lyme, I'm getting better, but with all of my successes and failures over the last few years I've realized one major thing: there is a direct correlation between the time I spend outside in nature and my health. I'm not only happiest when I'm outside, but when I'm getting at least two sessions of outside time a day, I'm also more productive at work, excited for other things in life, and actually want to lift. An example is that while this last challenge has not been perfect, it was a whole lot better than the last ones - the first half was good because I was getting outside, but then I was excited about lifting and was focusing more on getting in the gym than getting outside, and then I barely saw the sun for a month because of it and my mental health tanked and I got hit with the sads hard. As soon as I started focusing on getting outside in the afternoon again, within a few days I was feeling like a human again. Turns out, I need the sun, and you can not, in fact, catch it and bottle it for when is convenient for you. I keep fighting the fact that I am a druid because I want to be a warrior, and Ive always really liked the Magus as someone I aspire to be due to the skill in fighting AND learning. But maybe also I'm fighting the fact that I'm a druid because I'm not a druid. I'm a Nature Bonded Magus. Now, I'm not saying I'm not going to be lifting. au contrair - I have a lot of plans. I'm gonna put myself through Nature Bonded Magus "School". Which means everything I do is a part of learning how to be a nature bonded magus. (If we want to talk in habit building and James Clear here, everything I do will be a vote for who I want to be). And that will include lifting because I have to be strong to wield my sword This challenge is my "awakening" challenge, a la Link in the Shrine of Resurrection. A tutorial level, or my freshman year. Whatever you want to call it. I am waking up in the middle of the woods in my pajamas, and I have to forage for a stick to protect myself, and then practice my skills until I'm good enough to earn real clothes and a wooden sword🙂 *I am aware, different game, not the shrine of resurrection, but i'm about to make all the reminder noises on my phone "Hey! Listen!", and this gif was easier to find. And how am I going to do that? Exactly how I've been successful in the past in every time period of my life that I have had a lot I want to do: I will schedule everything, and stick to the schedule. If it is a goal, it will be on the calendar. Also, having a solidified work schedule would be really good for me. The daylight goes away too fast, and I have time blindness with my ADHD - so reminders will be key here, too. I've already got my schedule set up in an app with reminders, I just need to update with challenge theme names. I am using anchor tasks and habit stacking for techniques as those have worked really well before. These are the "Classes" that will appear on my calendar: (I am THEMING THIS, but I am in no way trying to make a real playable character. I'm making my IRL character) Terrain Mastery/Woodland Stride: (Anything outside, gardening, building the chicken coop, setting up the rabbits, etc - work outside, going for a walk, Stomping through the woods, exploring -->7am and 4pm - morning and before it gets dark out. This is the most important goal of all of them. Spellstrike: Training - Strength / Rowing / Gym stuff. --> 1215pm daily during the work week Spellbooks: Planning and Journaling --> 8pm every night Arcane Pool: yoga, mediation, other things that bring me energy that I need to do. This is a part of my going to bed sequence. --> 10pm every night Druidic Herbalism: An actual nutrition course --> one evening/week That's 6 classes, which is more than enough for a whole semester, let alone a 5 week challenge. I also have my non-magus school tasks already planned out and on the calendar - work, eating, sleep, fun time, and the insane amount of doctors appointments I have coming up. It’s all there. With time I can be more flexible, but until I get into these habits, I need to just follow it exactly. I modify the schedule flexibility the night before, so this is realistic. So that is the goal: follow the schedule. One goal. Well, kind of two because part of Spellbooks is daily revisiting the schedule and checking in with Rurik about the next day to make sure everything is still good (which I think will be a good skill for us to develop, too, so im excited about that). Feeling very ready, and surprisingly encouraged after last challenge. And that's it! Good luck, nerds

New life at springtime leads to a new long-term focus. I spent much of last year trying things on, rebuilding the habit of regular workouts, food consciousness, and intentionality in multiple areas. I feel that, especially over the past several weeks, I've landed on a road that I want to follow for a while. Here's the plan: BODY: Fuel: Continue focus on balancing macros and setting caloric intake for my target body composition. This involves packing lunch every day, cooking at home 5 days a week, and maintaining healthy hydration. We've decided to continue "Dry January," and I'm allllmost ready to drop another cup of coffee each day. Work: 45-minute heart rate run followed by 30-minute Pilates, 4x weekly on M-T & Th-F. Wednesday is full rest; Saturday and Sunday are 5k walks. HEART: Play: Bass practice for 15 minutes, at least 5 times weekly. 2 self-care activities each week. Love: Practice listening before speaking. I want to cultivate a practice of seeking 3 times to understand before speaking, unless waiting that long would make the conversation weird. Obviously this requires mindfulness, and I know it will be a growing edge, but I'll take it into meditation. SOUL: Grow: Study metta, stoicism, and other topics related to the above goals. This is primarily through Audible on my commute. The challenge part? Turn off NPR, and actually listen. Buy the paper book when I need to take notes, and then....take the notes. Pray: Metta meditation or contemplative prayer for 15 minutes every day. My cue is to sit after my morning water bottle and before my second cup of coffee. I remembered the cue today, but had an event disrupt the intention. Still, remembering the cue is telling me it's a good cue, so I'm going to stick with that intention. I'll also reserve the "just before sleep" window for a secondary window, with hopes to grow into twice daily sessions. REST: Honor the Wednesday rest day. Go to sleep by 10 (preferably earlier) (don't do the stupid crossword on the phone!). Relax while eating, and don't feed the face like it's dying. Off and running...see you on the mat!

Happy to do my 8th challenge here! Check out my last challenge:

Procrastination is persistent. After walking briskly for most of the day, stepping off the path, taking short cuts and doubling back to hide her tracks, the tall demon is still behind Scalyfreak, gradully drawing closer and showing no signs of giving up. This is a problem, because while demons do not tire Scalyfreak does, and walking for an entire day without a break is exhausting. Walking through the night will be even more of a problem, because demons don't need sleep either, and all the inconvenient consequences of uninterrupted day-long exertion are making themselves known... heavy legs, slow reflexes, an inability to stay focused, and very noise is unexpected and unnerving. This can't continue. Scalyfreak needs to rest, to eat and sleep, and she needs to do it in a place where the demon can't get to her while she sleeps. Fortunately, the forest she's walking through now is familiar to Scalyfreak, and her tired legs find an unexpected small burst of energy to carry her faster towards her destination. The paved path comes into view, swept clean and maintained as always, and the marble building the path leads to is clear of vines and weeds, well repaired, and with the doors wide open and welcoming to all tied travelers. Scalyfreak eagerly crosses the threshold and enters the temple hall with a sigh of relief. The dim light is warm and soothing, the clear air is calming and helps Scalyfreak relax as she sets her bedroll on the floor right below the altar and devours some of the rations in her backpack. She also drinks deeply from her water skin, knowing she will be able to fill it from the well behind the altar before she leaves. Soon enough Scalyfreak settles in for the night and falls asleep, all worries about Procrastination forgotten because for tonight at least she is safe. After all, no demon can enter the Temple of Iron. Before diving into the “few and small” goals for this challenge period, here's a brief “intro” for anyone who doesn't know me very well: After time off from work, life, and challenges, I am finally posting my new challenge. It's about halfway into the challenge period, or thereabouts, so I'm more for less on track with how I normally do these things. Recover HP (physical health) This goal will have two parts: Walk every day, with or without the Happy Sidekick. Lift things. Specifically, barbell things … it's time to reestablish the gym habit. To meet this goal, I need to actually go to the gym at least three out of seven evenings in a week. Restore Mana (Mental Health) Same goal as last challenge – meditate every day. I have a history of really struggling to remember to do this on days that are not work days, so taken three week off from work over the holidays really interfered with this habit.. Regenerate Stamina (emotional bandwidth) Also same goal as the last challenge: Deliberately do at least one thing every day for no other reason than because I know I will enjoy it. I predict that a lot of this will involve the Feisty Sidekick, simply because he craves attention and affection, and playing with a kitten is good for Mana recovery as well as Stamina.

My Happy New Year I’ve been blessed in abundance in 2022, with the end of the year glittering with moments of miracles and love. That doesn’t mean it was easy, or simple, or that there isn’t work left to do. In many ways, this land of abundance is alien, and I’m making my way into 2023 a little star-struck from it all, and with no small amount of culture shock. How to live in this space, amplify it and honor it? How to make sure I don’t squander the gifts with a scarcity mindset, or from anxiety? How can I go forward in love? This is a time of having set down the weapons; the sword stands at rest in its scabbard; the bow has been unstrung. There is no fight and I have no enemies. The Way forward is one of gentleness, a time of tending to my Self and my Spirit as I would tend a newly-laid garden bed, rich and fertile. In the lunar calendar, this is the end of the year, a time when all things should be squared away, buttoned up, and arguments ironed out. For the Celts, this was a time of looking forward as the earth tilts towards the light, culminating in Imbolc, a time to sweep the house and set the fields to right for the coming gifts of Spring. The Christian liturgical calendar brings Epiphany, a time of revelation and gifts, the joy of the end of waiting in the dark, the manifestation of the miracle. These traditions focus on looking at our everyday lives in ways that we can prepare for the coming abundance, making ourselves ready to receive very real blessings. This challenge, the goal is to take stock, see what’s what, and make a plan from there. Will there be a spreadsheet? Possibly, but the numbers are less important than the measurement. Because the universe loves me and wants me to be happy.

Been doing a lot of reflecting. Having your Saturnalia festivities interrupted by having to evacuate the house due to pipes busting will do that. Mostly just seems to be an appropriate moment in my life to get back into the challenges. I experienced something of a mini-mental breakdown last week that had me staring at my basement wall from the time I clocked out of work until going to bed that night. I think I just broke under the stress. I've been existing as a Work Completion Machine(tm) in some capacity or another since I began my career change. At the time, it made sense to prioritize building my reputation as a guy who got shit done. That, and my anxiety never let me shake the fear that I was always just one wrong step away from being thrown out on my ass. And then there was my relationships, also mostly driven by fear. Will I get kicked out of the tribe for being too liberal? Or not liberal enough? Or for being an atheist? For speaking my mind? Because I didn't bring a casserole or a bottle of wine to the dinner party? In other words, I kept putting everyone and everything else ahead of myself. To the point where, when my therapist, a few sessions back, asked me what my values were, I had no answer for her. I've lost track of my identity. And, at the same time, I find it leaking out everywhere. I inject my identity and my ego into conversations so much that every interaction feels like one of those ninja course challenges where I'm trying to verbally dash across the spinning log to say all the right things, crack the right jokes, and not offend the wrong sensibilities. My social interactions become this weird dance where I'm both trying to shield my ego from danger while also ordering it to dance for other people's entertainment. That changes now. This challenge is dedicated to me. I'm putting my own mask first. I'm looking out for my needs and my wants. And I'm starting by taking on my demons. I might turn this into a narrative. Could be fun. A sort of demon hunter thriller. At least build in some form of gamification. We'll see. For now, this challenge is still a work in progress. Challenge Goals. By 2/4/2023 (end of challenge): 1. 170 minutes meditated (5 mins per challenge day less 2 cheat days). 2. 10 salads prepared (2 per week). 3. 2 braises prepared. 4. 2 bicycle trips. 5. No more than 12 video game hours. 6. Update NF daily. 40 hours extra work (i.e. work in addition to my usual 40) by the end of the challenge. -------------------------- Challenge progress: 1. 26/170 minutes meditated. 2. 2/10 salads prepared. 3. 1/2 braises prepared. 4. 0/2 bicycle trips completed. 5. 8/12 video game hours. 6. 5/40 extra work hours. Last updated: 1/8/2023.