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aka, Polaris does All the Things and Will NOT burn herself out "Fire is the element of power. The people of the Fire Nation have desire and will and the energy and drive to achieve what they want." - Iroh, Avatar: the Last Airbender This is it. I turned 26. Shed 7 kilos during the last 4.5 months. Cut my hair. Got my first tattoo. Started the second-to-last year I'm allowed to stay at uni. Need to achieve an insane amount of study points per semester to make up for all the years I wasted and to graduate in time. Need to build muscle, keep lifting heavy things, become better at Taekwon-do. Will possibly run out of money and starve to death. Fun stuff like that. In short, I need to be able to achieve more than ever before, and in order to do that, I need to find more energy than I have ever been able to muster. Energy is my Achilles heel: mentally, I've been held back my chronic depression and anxiety for most of my life, and I'm still learning how to function as a healthy adult. Physically, I've always suffered from lethargy. Doctors blamed it on my mental health after my bloodwork came back fine, but since my mind is fine now and I'm still low on energy, there must be another reason. I need to find it, and smash it to the ground. It's literally a matter of life and death at this point. And I can't get a burnout and crash totally like I've done before, because it would be the end of me. So, this challenge, I will find the firebender within me to gather that energy and drive, and kick life's butt. I: Energy Everything and whatever it takes to complete all my tasks. Sleep enough. Eat enough. Work out. Caffeine. Amazing, Magical Preworkout Powder (seriously, it recreates me. You can read on my previous challenge thread how wonderful that stuff is for me.) Pester uni healthcare until they take my sleepiness and lethargy seriously, and either find out the cause or are 110% certain it's nothing physical. Illegal stimulants - okay, so not literally whatever it takes. Also - this is important, Polaris you self-destructive perfectionist - despite the fact that I have loads of Stuff To Do, I need to schedule and organize said Stuff so I won't burn myself out like I've done every time before. Any and all advice on how to stay active and energetic is welcome. II: Food I've been cutting for the past 5-ish months, and I'm about 98% done. I never saw the 59.0 that I wanted to see, but I've plateau'd around 59.5-60.5, and since I'm desperate for moar muscle mass and food, that will do for now. I'll start a 2-week diet break any day now (once I get some sage advice so I won't ruin my progress), which should coincide nicely with the minor surgery I'm about to have that'll ban me from the gym for a while, and then start my first bulk. I'm terrified of fat gain, but very excited about getting and looking stronger, plus maybe it'll boost my energy levels. I have an underlying eating disorder, which will add extra challenge, but I've been able to wrestle it down so far. III: Strength (& Ass-Kicking) I've pretty much got the basic 'Go to the Gym X times/week' down, but there are some specific things I need to focus on. First is squats, which I've struggled with recently, I need to work on my form and work back up the weight I was at. The added challenge is that I'm hypermobile, and one of my hips is lower than the other. Also I tend to arch my back too much when I'm lifting, which is why my physio told me to take up pilates. I'm trying to sign up for a beginner's course that starts next month. Second, hip rehab exercises, and shoulder stuff when that acts up. Third, I've been neglecting TKD on the summer because, well, summer. I need to attend two classes per week at minimum, though I'd like to do some 5-7 classes/week bursts to get enough practice for the belt test on December, but I need to prioritize. If anyone's interested, my current program is here. IV: Will I take pride in my willpower, now if ever is the time to deliver. No skipping classes, no skipping workouts, no skipping cooking and eating crap instead. I will attend all my classes, do my work, and go to the gym. Also, I will do assignments on time instead of leaving them to the last minute. I'm gonna set a few rules for myself: - I'm only allowed to skip classes in case of 1) illness 2) serious sleep deprivation (<5 hours of sleep) 3) last-minute assignments (which shouldn't happen, but just in case) 4) serious Need for a break - I'm only allowed to skip workouts for reasons described above, plus if I'm having a seriously bad day (because it's statistically led to either injury or really crappy, no-good workout) - order of priorities is studies > rest/food/health > lifting > TKD > fun stuff - laziness, minor weariness, or "don't feel like it" are not acceptable reasons - will track absences from every course so I don't go over the limit - will compensate for absences within three days V: Catch Up I've got a few papers I should have handed in, at worst, literally years ago. I need to write them, or in case of the two that I'm not certain if the teacher'll still accept them, figure out how I can get them done. I recall three papers and BA thesis, so if I divide the BA thesis for three weeks, that should give me a nice schedule of one paper per week. Which is very doable if I can actually sit on my ass and work on them, say, one day a week that I have pretty much nothing else going on. Friday should probably be Designated Catch-up Day. VI: Money I mentioned I may starve to death soon, which is because my student aid months ran out for now. I need to figure out where and how I'll get some money, during this month, because I'd like to not die yet maybe. I also need to go over my bills for the past few months because they've been so financially complicated I'm not on board on what I've paid and not paid at all. I may also need new insurance, which I'm mentioning here just so I won't forget. VII: Order Basically two things: 1) Re-declutter my room and keep it relatively clean. 2) I got a magnet board and colorful little papers, so I can write down and put up all the stuff I need to do and when, since I'm so ADD I forget everything. Now I need to learn to use it. I think seven is a good number to finish with, so that's that. Follow for updates on my goals, occasional celebrations and breakdowns, unhealthy perfectionism, links to motivational songs, and gifs of cute canines and the two best animated series ever.