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I bought a house!! So, I need to make some priority out of getting my home in order and get into the groove of working out, commuting and eating right. My commute has gotten a little longer and a lot less reliable (based on one week of commuting I’ve done thus far). I’ve got a buffet of options open to myself and my wife including commuter rail, bus, and car ride. I need to weigh the pros and cons of each and get it stabilized so I can get some work outs in some time. Being summer I need to focus on getting the jungle in my backyard tamed and the lawn cut reasonably for the next few weeks. We have almost a solid acre of hilly grass and the previous owners couldn’t keep up with the landscaping. Memorial Day weekend will included the purchase of a chainsaw and an extraordinary amount of yard work. Hopefully by the end of the challenge I will have things down to maintenance level before jumping into setting up our own plans. Right now my yard is about 20% maintained (I managed to run over the overgrown weeds with a lawn mower and pull a few weeds). I want the yard to 100% maintenance. Weeds pulled, lawn mown (evenly), edges weed-whacked, trees trimmed/cut down. I still want to try and get bigger by the end of the year, but right now I need to focus on maintaining my food plans and getting food for the week planned, purchased and prepped. I want to gain muscle mass, not a layer of blubber. Unfortunately for my celiac-ridden self I accidentally moved to some kind of gluten free Shangri-La. Chinese food less than a mile away and fried chicken with fries and onion rings a few miles the opposite direction. As if I weren't doing enough, I also want to maintain my running endurance so I need to get some runs in. With the major landscaping I’d say I need to limit myself to about 15k a month. Goals: Commute: At work on time for summer hours and commute planned for the rest of the year. Yard Projects: 1 major project per week minimum. Food: Plan meals and prep lunches/breakfasts Exercise: Run a minimum of 15k per week. That’s low, but I’m doing a lot of exercise with the yard work.

NEW CHALLLENGE! Oh My God So Excited ... This is just a placeholder, though. I'll be back later today. Just wanted to let you all know what you're in for.

The personages and equipment in the Gym are varied and possibly unstable. Contact with equipment and patrons should be minimized to avoid injury to both body and mind. It is of the utmost importance that you not speak to anyone while in the gym. Should your find yourself talking to someone mention a rash or attempt to have sex with them. If one of these methods is not effective to stop conversation try the other. The combination has a very limited failure rate. There is a theory that people will use equipment no matter how ineffective it is. This theory was debunked when after equipment devolved to an old man wiggling about with a bit of garden hose. The people of the gym decided that was entirely too silly and everyone collectively simply stopped that nonsense. The giant bouncy balls for people to sit on were kept. It’s best not to question the logic too closely. People go to the gym to get into shape. No one is certain which shape and fewer know what they do once they achieve that shape. There are great architectural opportunities for those who achieve “pentagon†and “pyramid†shapes, though these are not generally mentioned while in the gym and sometimes attributed to aliens. Freeweights are for people who like to lift heavy things and be very aware of how heavy the thing they are lifting is. You will know these people because they are larger and often interested in attending conventions for local firearms dealers. It is believed their obsession with guns is related to errors in using freeweights. An error results in a loud bang, similar to a gun. Dissimilar to a gun is the number of resulting holes. Guns make many small holes in people, animals, little bits of orange clay, and most notably: paper with circles on it. Freeweights make far fewer holes and mostly in walls and doors. The gun’s natural enemies normally go unharmed, though the little bits of clay are in significant danger if freeweight technology is ever weaponized. Treadmills are fantastic inventions for people who wish to walk very far, but don’t want to walk very far coming back from walking very far. It was once suggested that everyone walk half as far and walk back, but we discovered that she was working for the sidewalk manufacturers’ lobby. Rowing machines are fantastic inventions for people who wish to row a boat, but cannot swim. Some of the romance is lost and singing is discouraged, but you are permitted to wear a straw hat and give a flower to your date no matter what Chad says. Chad is a stick in the mud. Stationary bicycles are fantastic inventions for people who wish to ride a bike, but don’t want to muss their hair with either a helmet or wind. Of course, after riding your stationary bike it is strongly encouraged that you wash and style your hair since it will have gotten covered in sweat. Elliptical machines are fantastic inventions for people who want to be giggled at while they pretend they are falling out of an airplane. This machine makes the most sense out of all of the machines in the cardio section as you avoid falling out of the airplane while enjoying the activity. No one knows what that machine in the corner is for. It has three foot pedals that are far too high and it has no handles. No one is certain if there is a weight attached or not. As soon as a three legged alien comes to the gym in pursuit of becoming a pyramid we will be enlightened. It does have a television, though. Weight machines are one of the most popular way to exercise in the gym. People using this equipment are considered quite clever as the machines simply look like bits of spare plumbing yet they have managed to improve the appearance of specific body parts. There is evidence that results are in fact plumbing related: after the local gymnasium renovated their showers a Connecticut man’s left bicep shrank significantly. Steam rooms are places to go if you want to remember how lucky you are to not be living on a volcanic rim. You will be able to chart the progress of memory loss by age if you monitor the steam room long enough. There are rooms set aside for classes where people dance in lines, fight people that aren’t there, jump up and down, and writhe around on the floor. Only one class has been described to the reader. There is an area of the gym that promises “Tasty, healthy refreshments!†The most common products include ground up bits of plants, ground up bits of animals, ground up bits of rocks, and ground up bits of milk which begs the question “How did you grind a liquid?†It’s often found that these refreshments are supplemented with snack foods from the 7-11 around the corner where you are unlikely to be recognized. Snack foods from the 7-11 are neither refreshing nor healthy. Generally, the less sane you behave the healthier you are considered. There are thresholds and attempting to start the machine uprising while positioning yourself as the leader of the army of weighted plumbing and non-travelling travel devices is frowned upon. See entry on rowing machines for more information on Chad. Most gyms offer swimming pools. These pools are designed for swimming regular laps in order to exercise. You will also be required to take a shower before you use the pool and you will want to take a shower after using the pool. In short you are will get wet and clean before getting wet and dirty and finally getting wet and clean so you can dry off. These pools are probably not available for swimming at any time you are free to swim laps as the gym is offering swimming lessons in the pools at the times the students are available. On average, a great deal of time and disappointment is saved if you just take a shower in your bathing suit and tell everyone you went swimming. The locker room contains lockers, the weight room contains weights, but the yoga room is just an empty room with some foam rubber in it. When you come to the gym you pay a fee to join and then are given one free session with a trainer. The trainer will use that session to see what kind of shape you are in which inevitably means you are not in shape because you have never been to the gym before. This is productive somehow.

https://youtu.be/rkrK2lh-uwwwatch this , Bad for Bulking or Good??

Ultimate Quest: Survive the Zombie Apocalypse (Last Updated 5/9) NECESSARY SKILLS :: I will be focusing on... STR: Fend off zombies with brawn Goal: By 12/15, be able to do 10 push ups in a row. STA: Outrun hordes for long distances Goal: By 12/15, be able to jog a 5k. DEX: Be agile enough to cover rugged, varied terrain effortlessly Goal: By 12/15, be able to do a cartwheel. CON: Have the supplies and means to equip myself Goal: By 12/15, move out OR have $3k towards a down payment WIS: Be wicked smaht. Because zombies are dumb. Goal: By 12/15, have 10 hours accrued for teacher recertification. CHA: Charm the pants off of handsome survivors. Steal their shit. Goal: Be in a relationship OR have gone on 10 dates (different men okay) May/June Mini-Goals (Worth +.5 each) Goal 1 :: Working towards STA Running will not happen overnight. I need to start small and work my way up to jogging, and then eventually running. Go to the gym an minimum of 2x a week.Do five "exercise miles" a week (hiking, treadmill, etc).Buy a new sports bra.Go hiking 5x.Scale a mountain trail. Goal 2 :: Working towards CHA I am a very outgoing person, but incredibly guarded when it comes to romance. Call it self-preservation from my experiences as a chubby middle school who was already topping six feet. I need to soften my Amazonian armor if I truly want to give love a chance. Send 10 messages on dating sites.Arrange 4 dates.Go out with someone I normally wouldn't go for.Ask out someone I meet (friend, acquaintance, whatever).Attempt to pick a guy up at a bar/restaurant/in public.

So, I've been AWOL since January. Before that, I was AWOL for a couple of months. I AM SUCKING AT THIS. So my goal for the rest of this challenge? DON'T SUCK Current Quest: (PART ONE) :: 5/1 - 5/15 Back to Basics :: Don't Suck I've been AWOL for about 4 months... Sigh. I'm lucky that my reason for being AWOL is that I got VERY involved in the play I was doing, made a bunch of new friends, and subsequently did a lot of this: Time to recommit and get ready to rock! GOALS 5/1 - 5/15 NECESSARY SKILLS: I will be focusing on... DEX: Be agile and quick enough to cover rugged, varied terrain effortlessly STR: Fend off zombies with brawn 1:: Go to the Gym 5x :: +1 STR Seriously easy goal, but I NEED EASY. I need to get back on track, so I just need to get my butt in the gym door. That's 5 times i 2:: Get Apocalypse Ready :: +1 STA Walk a total of 15 miles on the treadmill at the gym. (Sounds easy, but...) Current Quest: (PART TWO) :: 5/10 - 5/25 Back to Basics :: Keep on Not Sucking Okay! I've gone to the gym! I'm kind of, sort of, on the path to not sucking! GOALS 5/15 - 5/25 NECESSARY SKILLS: I will be focusing on... CON: Have the supplies and means to bunker down and equip myself properly DEX: Be agile and quick enough to cover rugged, varied terrain effortlessly 1:: Add $300 to Savings Account :: +1 CON Brace yourselves, summer is coming... And for a teacher, that means weird things for money flow! 2:: These Shoes Were Made for Walkin' :: +1 STA Clock another 15+ miles on the treadmill! LET'S DO THIS!

Went across this list, quite funny read: http://breakingmuscle.com/crossfit/save-your-money-the-5-worst-products-for-crossfit Check out number five! I actually watched it. I know that Crossfit in USA is big issue, but cooome on!? Well, at least there are many shirtless people in it

Current Quest: (PART ONE) 1/5 - 1/23 - Come Back from the Dead MAIN QUEST: Back to Basics :: Don't Suck I've been AWOL for about 3 months... Sigh. I'm lucky that my reason for being AWOL is that I got VERY involved in the play I was doing, made a bunch of new friends, and subsequently did a lot of this: Time to recommit and get ready to rock! Ultimate Quest: Survive the Zombie Apocalypse NECESSARY SKILLS: I will be focusing on... STR: Fend off zombies with brawn STA: Outrun hordes for long distances DEX: Be agile and quick enough to cover rugged, varied terrain effortlessly CON: Have the supplies and means to bunker down and equip myself properly WIS: Be wicked smaht. Because zombies are dumb. CHA: Charm the pants off of handsome survivors. Steal their shit. CHALLENGE PT ONE GOALS (First 3 Weeks) At the midpoint of this challenge, I will assess, assign points, and create a new set of challenges! (5 points possible for each 1/2 challenge) 1: Money, Money, Money I am starting a new teaching job! Long-term subbing is exciting, but it means 21 days of petty pay before the big bucks kick in. I need to be frugal for the next month! - NO FAST FOOD, Not even coffee! - Pay all bills on time - Stick with the alternative 52-week challenge (deposit anywhere from $1-52 per week, each number can only be used once. This allows greater flexibility in case of car repairs or other unexpected expenses!) 2: Get Apocalypse Ready (+3 STA) - Make my new gym membership worth it! Go at least 2x a week - Do the first three weeks of Couch-to-5k! LET'S DO THIS!

double post (dammit)

Current Quest: (PART ONE) 1/5 - 1/23 - Come Back from the Dead MAIN QUEST: Back to Basics :: Don't Suck I've been AWOL for about 3 months... Sigh. I'm lucky that my reason for being AWOL is that I got VERY involved in the play I was doing, made a bunch of new friends, and subsequently did a lot of this: Time to recommit and get ready to rock! Ultimate Quest: Survive the Zombie Apocalypse NECESSARY SKILLS: I will be focusing on... STR: Fend off zombies with brawn STA: Outrun hordes for long distances DEX: Be agile and quick enough to cover rugged, varied terrain effortlessly CON: Have the supplies and means to bunker down and equip myself properly WIS: Be wicked smaht. Because zombies are dumb. CHA: Charm the pants off of handsome survivors. Steal their shit. CHALLENGE PT ONE GOALS (First 3 Weeks) At the midpoint of this challenge, I will assess, assign points, and create a new set of challenges! (5 points possible for each 1/2 challenge) 1: Money, Money, Money I am starting a new teaching job! Long-term subbing is exciting, but it means 21 days of petty pay before the big bucks kick in. I need to be frugal for the next month! - NO FAST FOOD, Not even coffee! - Pay all bills on time - Stick with the alternative 52-week challenge (deposit anywhere from $1-52 per week, each number can only be used once. This allows greater flexibility in case of car repairs or other unexpected expenses!) 2: Get Apocalypse Ready (+3 STA) - Make my new gym membership worth it! Go at least 2x a week - Do the first three weeks of Couch-to-5k! LET'S DO THIS!

I need some motivational gifs to get me back on track. Please to be supplying the funny?

Challenge #3 Ultimate Quest: Survive the Zombie Apocalypse Necessary skills: - STR: Fend off zombies with melee or hand-to-hand - STA: Outrun hordes for long distances - DEX: Be agile and quick enough to cover rugged, varied terrain effortlessly (parkour style) - CON: Have the supplies and wherewithall to bunker down and equip myself properly - WIS: Be wicked smaht. Because zombies are dumb. - CHA: Charm the pants off of handsome survivors. Steal their shit. Current Quest: 4/14 - 5/25 Main Quest: Complete a 5k in under 60 minutes (Color Me Rad 5k Run 4/27) Side Quests: Prepping for the 5k 1: Walk an average 30000 steps per week (+4 STA) A: 30k+ B: 27-29k C: 22k-26k D: 19k-21k F: 18k or under 2. Walk a minimum of 5 exercise miles per week (Steps don't count) (+4 CHA) A: 5+ B: 4+ C: 3+ D: 2+ Life Quest: Stick to my Mon/Tues, Thurs/Fri Paleo Food Plan (+2 WIS) A - Strictly Followed, no slips B- 1-2 Slips C - 3-4 Slips F - Off the Wagon Sunday will be my official check-in day, when I will grade myself for the week! I tried to streamline this plan a bit. Fewer things to track, and its scaled back a little more. I think I got overwhelmed with too many goals in the last challenge. I'm excited to participate in the Color Run in April!

Because any motivation is good motivation...right? http://youtu.be/jzYTrFdK1hc Enjoy your weekend everybody!

This is my first challenge, sort of. I started one before, but faltered. I would love to be more engaged in the community. I have some lofty goals (17 lbs by New Years) and some realistic ones, too. Lift 3x or more per week. Make no excuses during travel. Row 2x or more per week. 70% or more Paleo. Do the best I can. Forgive myself when I think more was possible. Be supportive of the journeys of others. Hug daily.

Who is your favorite stand-up? Does anyone do stand-up?

If you haven't seen it yet, and you want a good laugh, I recommend zefrank's "True Facts About..." nature videos. Aside from the katydid video, they've all be pretty hilarious. The video about the anglerfish is probably my favorite: