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Hi Nerds! I’m back (again…can’t finish a challenge but can’t stay away either). This last month (and the preceding months to come extent) have been a real gut punch to my life, and I am really struggling to do even the most basic stuff a lot of days, so here I am. Spoiler below for people who would like more detail….TW: divorce, death, pet peril So, basically, I’m in survival mode, and with the school year coming out, I need to crawl my way out of that so I’m not totally overwhelmed come August. I am going to start very simple and just go from there and add things as I can. 1. Take meds 2. 7 hours of sleep every night 3. Choose 3 tasks every day and complete them (can be big or small depending on physical/emotional energy available) 4. Update here at least twice a week, even if it’s just a sentence That’s what I have for now. Happy Challenge Everyone!!

Hello everyone. I'm back. It has been a long while since I've been here on these forums. I've been doing NF Coaching, and I feel like that alone is not enough. I need to find some way to do better and get my life back. I don't like where I am or what I have been doing. I am not taking care of myself and I need to do better. I would really appreciate ya'll's support. I miss my NF family. Trigger Warming - Death and Grieving in spoiler. I'll also be talking about this quite a bit during my challenge because it is my biggest hurdle right now. So, that's where I'm at. I'm having real trouble with depression and trying to find the ability to remember that I want to live a healthier life style and want to live a fulfilling life. So, I'm reaching out to you guys and I'm going to be here to stay for a while. So, I'm starting this challenge in the middle. Better late than never. Considering I'm feeling kinda dark, and I just finished watching The Witcher on Netflix, that's what I"m going to use for my theme. Goal 1: Find a purpose (Big Why) Every Day I'm going to either list or remind myself of my big whys. I need to find my purpose and focus/meditate on the reason I want to live a healthier lifestyle. I need to get in touch with that and make it a priority in my life. Goal 1: Drink Water, not Soda I'm going to start drinking tea or water instead of soda. I'm going to start this by for the first two weeks not having soda for breakfast. I will get a bonus if I avoid soda for another meal of the day, but to say that I have completed the challenge, I'm going to do just substitute tea for my morning soda. Goal 3: Eat at Home I have been too lazy to do much of anything, let alone cook. I'm going to try and have at least one home cooked meal a day for the next two weeks. Doesn't matter if it's just a sandwich and some chips. It just can't come from a restaurant. I really appreciate all support and check ins from you guys. I need to do this. Thank you!

Let me start this challenge with the following. I am not right in the head. I am grieving/stressed out/burned out and am having a hard time. My situation is complicated due to family dynamic and the fact that not all families are healthy ones. And in the end, I am just trying to get all of us through to when stuff isn’t blowing up EVERY DAY. For those new here: Okay, so the last few weeks were a mess. On top of having had 8 Christmases since Dec 20th (2 were planned with less than 2 days’ notice), Youngest Agent having gotten sick with a scary high fever (104) and now I am fighting the same thing. I am done. People keep telling me how “HARD” this Christmas was, like that would help. It didn’t, it made it worse because now you’re forcing me to deal with it instead of just enjoying what was in front of me. Honestly, I found myself wishing I could go back to work last night. It meant that my routines would be used and this “wait, what do we need to do today?” would go away. I did really well the challenge before the holiday challenge. I was doing well. Time to return to that. I still have the estate to settle since I am at the mercy of others to do there. I graduate in May and would prefer to not look like a killer whale at graduation (Note, the scale read over 300 again, alas the weight lost from my nose adventure). I also feel like over the holidays I just hid. I came and read the forum, but I didn’t post or even log in because I had nothing good to say. I have new issues to deal with, and people that were trying to be helpful/sweet just made things worse. In general, if we didn’t have a Holiday with you, I tried to avoid talking to people. The problem is, it allowed me to avoid the things I NEED to do. I need to get my life straightened out, I need to get my thought processes straightened out. So here’s a repeat of basically my holiday challenge. I took out a couple things (Christmas prep, work on estate), but added a few things (Check dad’s email, prepare seed starting stuff). It is really time to move forward, and while I can’t force anyone to let me finish the estate, I can focus on my stuff. Would love to have people here to cheer me on and remind me to post. But I also know there will be family grumping and grieving and very little “Hey I got to the gym for an hour” but maybe a “Hey, I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes” Goal Value Description Strength 1 Balance ball crunches 1 Squats 10 1 Wall Sit (sec) 1 Side kicks Do 2 1 Leg lifts 2 1 Reverse sit ups 1 sit ups 1 Knee to Elbows 1 Push ups 1 Balance Ball push ups Flexibility 1 Wrist Extension Stretch 12 1 Upward dog/Child pose 1 Meditating Groot 1 Lord of the dance Yoga (ankle above head) 1 Butterfly 1 Bridge Do 4 1 Ballet/toe Touch 4.00 1 Sitting Fix/Shoulder stretch 1 Warrior 1 1 Warrior 3 (Eagle bird thing) 1 Side stretch 1 Forward bend Life and Family 1 Play with Cats 1 NF time 1 Look at seed starting 1 Use lotion on legs daily 15 1 Spend time with Agents 1 Water a plant 1 Do something for me (Stardew, read a book, date night, ect) 1 Plan 1 Be in bed by 11:30 1 Floss in morning Do 7 1 Floss before bed 1 Check Dad's email 7 1 One good thing 1 Give Agent K9 5 minutes of training 1 Homework time daily/Prep new semester Fight Chaos 1 Pennisula/Island Clean all these daily 1 Table / Half wall 9 1 Desk 1 Bathroom up 1 Clean off file cabinet Do 3 1 Bathroom down 3 1 Clean off door to basement 1 Clean off Dresser 1 Counter over dishwasher At least 5 minutes per room (at least one) 1 Kitchen 1 Family room 1 Computer room 9 1 Basement 1 Clean 1 thing in file cabinet Do 3 1 Clean off nightstands 3 1 Clean 2 papers out of paper organizer 1 File 1 thing a day 1 Purge 1 thing a day Walking 1 Walk 7000 steps 4 1 Walk 15 minutes a day 2 1 7 hours with 250 steps do 2 1 Walk to Mordor Fuel 1 No eating after dinner 13 1 No stupid sugar 1 Track breakfast 1 Track Second breakfast do 6 1 Track Elevensies 1 Track lunch 1 Take Probiotic 6 1 < 3 bottles of tea 1 Eat Bananas Daily 1 Eat dried Apricots 1 Eat Breakfast 1 Eat Lunch 1 120 oz of water

Today they are moving my grandfather into hospice care. In the next few weeks, I'll be attending a funeral, my annoying uncle will be here, my aunt may fly in and my mother will be sad, mad, and many other things. I will be tired, and I will want to over-eat, drink too much and become anxious and self-destructive. So this challenge is simple. Be kind to myself. Instead of eating and drinking my feelings, I'm going to go for walks, play the ukulele and journal. I'm going to eat healthy foods that will make me feel better, and I will give myself permission to walk away from my family when they are overwhelming me. Self-healing, not self-destruction. I'm going to go eat some fruit now.

Who am I I'm an explorer through and through. Learning, growing, and discovering are encoded in my DNA. I have a number of interests that fall under multiple disciplines: Parkour, yoga, tai chi, and multiple martial arts styles. I'm like an assassin monk druid. A Drumonkin I guess. I have gone with explore class because It is where my heart truly is. I want to go hike the PCT, AT, explore Japan and China as well as the alps. Where I come from In high school I was the outsider, the one who saw but didn’t speak. I never had friends, only acquaintances. My only girlfriend was on the computer hundreds of miles away. My grades where a little below average and I was basically just waiting to get out of high school so I could go out into the world on my own. I moved out of my parent’s house and moved in with my grandparents. Shortly after I moved in my grandfather developed cancer and I took care of him with my grandmother. After 5 years of living and learning from him he passed away and in those 5 years I learned more than I ever had in high school. Just before he passed away my father came down with cancer. My father just passed away in March after suffering from it for a year. I’m done waiting for my life to change, I am going to be the change. I am done suffering from depression and grief. I’m overweight and out of shape. I know I am more than that but that’s what I see in the mirror every day and I don’t want to keep seeing that. I just really want to look in the mirror and say, “Damn I look good.” Why Why am I here? Because I want to look and feel sexy! I want to look back when I’m 30 and think, “The last five years have been awesome and I can’t wait to see what I do in the next five.” I am here to find friends and work with them to achieve their goals and mine. I am going to imagine my body as steel. Misshapen and ugly at first but as I work and train I will be striking and folding and quenching the steel till it becomes a blade. My mind and spirit has been tempered and tested and now it is time for body to go through the same struggles. Strategy I am currently enrolled in the academy and I am following the quests. I plan on posting on my progress weekly. My goals so far: I will strength train 2-3 times per week I will not drink soda anymore I will practice yoga 1-2 times per week I will practice one martial art once per week By the end of two months I will no longer eat bread or sugar. Final thoughts The last thing I want to say is if you need a friend here please don’t be afraid to say hi. We are all here for the same reason. I will be your shield brother if you will be mine. I will fight by your side and break down whatever walls, doors, or guards in our way. If you just want to chat GoT or something you're welcome too as well. I'm looking for friends right now.

Hi y'all, My story starts off with a cliche. About a week and a half ago, my partner of almost eight years proposed and I accepted. For the first time in a long time, I felt so happy and excited and hopeful. Like there were things to look forward to again. I looked around my house and realized, I need to get my shit together. Suddenly, I wanted to be better, for the sake of myself, for him, and for our impending marriage. Let me back up a little. I've been seriously depressed since at least 2012, if not before. Around that time I was living with my parents, struggling to finish my degree, working a restaurant job I hated, all while my dad was undergoing treatment for colon cancer. I witnessed first hand my dad's suffering through harsh treatments and his disease while the rest of my family members grieved. I did my best to help out my family as a way to cope with my grief, but looking back that was one of the darkest times of my life. When my dad eventually died I was relieved. I finally felt that there might be an end to the suffering one day. When he died I was unemployed and living with my partner. For five months after that I did little besides lay in bed. I didn't go outside at all that summer. Eventually I realized I need to return to life and I went to the doctor to seek antidepressants. I got some medication and a month later I was hired with two jobs, both outside of the restaurant industry and in the job sector I really wanted to work in. For about a year now I've been working full-time, still dealing with depression, but managing it through medication and therapy. I didn't realize what a funk I was still in until we decided to get married, and suddenly it was as if the clouds had parted and I remembered what all there is to life again. I remembered that I haven't even hit all the good parts of life yet. And suddenly, I wanted to lose weight. I am a recovered overeater and undereater: basically fat person former dieter with eating issues. It has taken me so long to lose the diet mentality and even though I am excited about getting healthy, I am very nervous that if I start dieting and exercising again it will resurrect some of my old issues. The other piece is that I have failed many, many times to lose weight, and I am now at my highest weight ever. I am afraid of failing another time. Right now I'm still in the contemplation stage. I am interested in a paleo diet because it seems to be efficient for building muscle and losing weight, and also because I am all about cooking at home and using whole foods rather than diet foods. I am nervous about food restriction. I think for exercise I want to start with body weight exercising and move on to lifting, because it seems to be most efficient, but I'm nervous about getting started. Basically I am super weak right now, from years of being basically sedentary, and I have an old knee injury that I'm afraid of aggravating. I would like to eventually add some cardio, like running or swimming, but I feel like making all of these changes would be a tall order for just getting started. Writing this down is my baby step for today. I think it might make sense to take pictures and keep track of my weight and measurements--maybe I can work up the courage to do that later this week.

My quest for the rest of the Calendar year (at least) is just to take care of myself. Goal 1: Eat right. I will track on MFP; eat a minimum of 1400 calories, not exceeding my burned calories by more than 50. Hoping to avoid junk but not setting anything specific for this. 1 star/day for staying within target, with bonus star for no grains. Goal 2: Take care of me. Take supplements and medications at the correct time. Saline rinse; 3 days a week. I couldn't really do this while traveling, so I need to put the habit back in place. Goal 3: Stay in motion. 3 workouts/week. Minimum 2 strength. Bonus if the workout exceeds 1 hour. Life goal: Ave 2 hours/week on creativity. Knitting, needlepoint, furniture finishing, etc. I've found a great throw pattern to make for my "old" assistant who just got married, so that will be priority one.

As you've guessed from the title of this challenge, I have some recovering to do. A little bit of physical recovery (I've finally got some orthotics for an old ankle injury), but mostly I'm dealing with emotional recovery. My dad passed away suddenly on September 1st, and my mind is still reeling. Now that the shock has begun to wear off, I need to start recovering. During this difficult time, I've lost my appetite and have been skipping many meals and not taking care of myself. I'll also frequently forget to take my vitamins (something that helps combat my depression and fatigue). I've also lost the motivation to do most things I enjoy: I have skipped numerous swing dancing opportunities, concerts (there was a festival in town), and invitations from friends. This challenge is about re-learning how to take care of myself, and hopefully start slowly recovering. My dad's passing was related to his obesity (and his reluctance to see a doctor), so I am committed to this challenge with that in mind. Starting Stats - will post soon Weight: Chest: Waist: Hips: Main Quest To feel like myself again. Specific goals 1) Physical activity - I've been struggling to get out of the house. I will strive to do 20 minutes of activity every day, even if it is only a quick walk. + 1 STA, + 1 STR, +1 DEX 2) Ankle exercises- The podiatrist has given me ankle exercises to do twice each day, which I have been neglecting. + 4 STR 3) Vitamins - I've been on B12 vitamins for a while, which help combat fatigue and depression. I need to take these every morning. + 3 STA Grading Scheme 1) Physical activity A = Was active 42 days B = 32 days C = 21 days D = 10 days F = fewer than 10 days 2) Ankle exercises A = Ankle exercises 2X day, every day (84 sessions) B = 63 sessions C = 42 sessions D = 21 sessions F = 20 sessions or fewer 3) Vitamins A = Took every day (42 days) B = 32 days C = 21 days D = 10 days F = fewer than 10 days --- "I want her to be a flapper, because flappers are brave and gay and beautiful." - Zelda Fitzgerald

Hi guys, I don't really know how to put this cheerfully so I won't. My great grandmother died today, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I have never experienced loss before, and I really just don't know what to make of it. Despite the 80 year age difference, we were pretty close, our whole family was close to her really. She was one of the sweetest ladies I've ever known, and though I miss her dearly, it is comforting to know that she is finally with her husband again in heaven. It feels selfish to try and focus on my health goals at a time like this, but I don't think she would have wanted me or anyone else in our family to neglect themselves because of her - she was always so selfless in that way. Does anyone have advice on how to stay on track while still honoring and remembering her?