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  1. LIGHTBEARER: THE PROTECTOR RISES Chapter 1: Integration I was walking home through the crowded streets from work, my hood pulled up over my head to shield me from the light rain. The town was loud with rattling wagons, people shouting to each other over the rain, doors slamming and gleeful children running out to get wet. In the last few months I had developed a kind of dance to get through the streets quickly without colliding with anyone - now in the middle of the dusty path, now twisting between taller people to duck into the shadow of a building, now weaving between wagons and keeping my step light as I danced homeward. Today I was watching for rainbows in the half-lit sky when I heard pounding footsteps approaching in the distance. The town was busy and I assumed it was someone late for an appointment; but as I continued to wend my way off the busy streets and toward the side paths that led to my home, the footsteps did not slow and they were closing in rapidly. Without breaking stride I turned abruptly off the path and back toward the market. I doubted the person was chasing me, but it never hurt to be cautious. This time, however, I was wrong. The person came over the crest of a small hill, paused and lifted his hand to his brow to stare in my direction, and when our eyes met, he flung his arms down and broke into a dead run, straight toward me. Fear shot through my system and I ran for the nearest building, a blacksmith's shop closed for the day. Deftly I slid through a gap in the shaky wooden gate and paused briefly behind the wall, but just as quickly slipped out the back and ran back toward the heart of the market street. I needed to be back with other people and lose myself in the crowd. "Silver Archer!" The man's shout slowed my steps. Was it someone I knew? "Silver Archer! Please wait! I need to talk to you!" I hesitated, and turned to look. I only caught a glimpse of the man's red, bulgy-eyed face before he pounded the last two steps down the hill and threw himself at my feet, his body heaving with gasps for breath. "Silver Archer, I need your help," he cried, his voice a half-sob. "I've come to you - because no one - no one else would - help me. I -" he sat back on his heels and looked desperately toward the sky, his shaved head and face glistening with pouring sweat. "I didn't know who else to ask!" I took a step backward and kept my hand on my Bow, but didn't leave. "Who are you, and what do you want?" "I've come on behalf of the families that live outside the village," he gasped. "The government has ruled that we can't live in this district anymore and we have to leave. But we've built our homes here and we have nowhere to go. We've asked over and over for them to give us help, give us time, but they won't listen. They say we're a danger to the citizens and we have to leave in two days." He lunged forward as if to grab me and I dodged backward in alarm, but he prostrated himself on the ground at my feet. "Please, Silver Archer, won't you please come and fight for us?" I froze completely still and stared at the stranger as a dozen emotions leaped up inside me like competing flames. I had heard about the forced evictions - everyone in town had. "Such a shame," we said, and continued on about our business. It wasn't right to force families to leave their homes just because they were different from the majority population of Temple Island. But it was the government's decision and there didn't seem to be anything we could do. Certainly, a few other archers had discussed looking for better lawyers or ambassadors to make a stronger case for the families. But no one was serious about doing anything. We liked our government jobs and didn't want to waste our efforts on a hopeless cause. But reading about an injustice happening in the evening bulletins was quite a different story from finding someone in need of help just a short distance from my own front door. This wasn't a nebulous member of a distant group in writing. This was a human being who needed a voice. Who needed justice. "I can't get involved in this," my logic spoke first. I took another half-step backwards. "One archer fighting for you won't do you any good. And I'm not important enough for my voice to make a difference." "But you're the Silver Archer!" The man sat up and looked at me, his small eyes red and weary in his face, which was quickly losing its redness and becoming pale. He lifted his hands imploringly. "We heard rumors that you're really the Dark Elf - that you can kill and destroy with ice powers. If that's true, you could come to our camp and fight for us when the guards come!" I flushed deeply and automatically reached behind me to pull my hood back up around my face. The last thing I wanted in the whole world was to put myself in a situation where I could lose control of my ice powers and hurt someone. "That's not true," I said gruffly. "Even if it isn't, you've taken out whole squads of dark elves with your Silver Bow. With your help, we could fight back and protect ourselves." This wasn't my problem. I had no responsibility to this man. If I got involved in this, no matter my own feelings that it was unjust and wrong, I could lose control and risk everyone seeing that I was the Dark Elf deep down. What would become of my job and my place in the Movement then? "I'm sorry," I said, and hurriedly backed away. "I have to go." I nearly stumbled as I pounded back up the hill, away from the strange man, back toward the safe bustle and anonymity of the crowded market. "Won't you at least tell others about what's happening to us?" the man's voice floated behind me. A pang struck me in the stomach but I kept running, and soon he was out of sight and I was back amongst the stalls and buildings of the city. I realized I was crying as I blindly followed my feet back toward my office, the small building behind the Chief Scientist's office that I shared with the other writers and spokespeople. No one was there and I collapsed on my stool, pressing my hands against my eyes, wondering what about this felt so wrong. It wasn't my fault that he was homeless. It wasn't my place to go out of my way to help him. I couldn't risk everything I had worked so hard for to start criticizing and pushing back against the Temple government. This was foolish and unfair. And yet you don't believe any of that, a tiny voice whispered deep within my heart. You're the Silver Archer - you were brought here to be a voice for the voiceless and a healer of the hurting. If you find someone hurting and voiceless on your own doorstep, how can you say you have no responsibility for him? "Sky! Are you crying?" I jumped and gasped as Irwin stood frozen in the doorway, his black eyebrows raised high over his concerned black eyes. "What's wrong? What happened?" I gulped and quickly scrubbed the tears off my cheeks, trying to laugh. "It's okay, I'm all right," I quavered, and jumped up and began brushing imaginary dust off my skirt. "I just - had a long day, and I'm tired." "No, really. Sit down." Irwin grabbed another stool and slung a leg over it, plopping to a seat and drilling my eyes with his piercing, knowing gaze. "Talk to me. What happened?" I slowly sat back down and put my face in my hands, and told Irwin about the strange encounter. He was quiet for a long moment, and when I looked up, his bearded jaw was working back and forth and his brows were knitted tightly. Twice he looked like he was about to speak, but he still sat quietly. "I don't know what to do," I finally broke the silence. Irwin pressed his lips together and looked up at me out of one eye. "What if Katherine and I went with you?" he asked gently. I clasped my hands at my chest. "You don't mean to go fight those guards?" I gasped in horror. "I mean ..." He shrugged. "We'd go with you if you thought that was the right thing to do. But I think you can do something even more powerful than that." "What do you mean?" Irwin stared pointedly at my hands, which were resting on my knees with the runes on my wrists clearly showing. "You were only telling that man half the truth. Maybe you don't kill and hurt people, but you are the Dark Elf, and you do have ice powers." He lifted his eyes to my face. "What if now is the time you finally see what happens when you integrate your two sides together? What if now is the time you figure out how to be afraid and courageous at the same time?" A strange feeling began to rise in my stomach - something familiar, and yet unexpected. It was neither the icy chill of fear and shame nor the confident warmth of the healing powers, but something that brought them together. Anger. Conviction. Focus. "Yeah. That." Irwin looked a bit fearfully at my wrists, which were beginning to glow a bright white. "What if you don't use that to fight, though. Look how bright that is. What if we use that to help others see what's happening to these families? What if you use that light to call the people who can make a difference for these people?" I stared down at my wrists as understanding washed over me. Of course. How clear it was - how foolish I had been. This rushing feeling like a strong summer wind was nothing new at all - I knew it as well as I knew my own name; I had just never felt it inside myself before. My ice powers and my healing powers came together to form the Bow's white light of clarity. This had been my power all along. The icy emotions of anger, fear, rage, and the warm emotions of compassion and empathy could exist together. I snapped my gaze to Irwin's face. "Every time I fire my Bow using these powers together, the arrow can go further than I can see," I blurted. "What if I could send it out like a beacon? Signal others in other regions who can come and see for themselves what's happening?" Irwin's eyes lit with eagerness. "We can find the other archers with powers to join you. By lighting the way together, your beacon will be brighter." I held the Silver Bow out in front of me, watching as the white light trickled through its carvings and lit it like a lamp. By firing an arrow - no; by firing two arrows, one white and one black - toward the sky, I could generate a burst of light like the ones I created with the Bow. Adding the light of other powered archers would alert people for miles around. Yet I hesitated. If I did this - if I raised my voice and started letting others see what I really thought, who I really was, that I did have anger and conviction and discord inside me, not just healing and warmth - things would begin to change. The way people thought of me would change. By embracing the powers of the Dark Elf, I would no longer be loved for my unwavering happy smile and agreeable benevolence. But if I were going to integrate my ice and my warmth, my compassion and my anger, my hope and my determination, my courage and my fear - then I needed to begin. I looked at Irwin, who had gotten to his feet and was watching me. "You promise you guys will be with me?" For the first time, his face creased in a brotherly, affectionate smile. "You know you can't get rid of us." "Then let's do this. It's time to show the world who the Silver Archer really is."
  2. Last challenge went well. I saw data points that tend to make me believe I am making progress. I feel better and the house is coming along. Will it be in a magazine tomorrow? Uh no, and probably never, but the way I am working towards it, it is less likely to make me embarrassed if someone comes over unannounced, or it gets in my way while doing things. Plus as I realized last night, I am no longer playing catch up with school, I am ahead by almost 2 weeks in one class and well on time with the other. This means, I really am starting on an even playing field. Am I where I would like to be? No. But I am trying to focus on getting there. My path is becoming clearer, and while it is still fairly overgrown with shrubs and trees and hard to see, it’s getting better. I made it through the rebuilding process. I have a fairly strong foundation now. I am drinking my water and I am doing my exercises. So, while I can’t for the life of me come up with fun names for my goals or a way to geek them out with gifs and things, I am going to make it simpler and focus on the task at hand. Gifs can come later in the posts for fun and well and break in the “Man, Bean updated another novel” posts. Which, I am also going to try and update with a table this time. I am getting tired of the novels too. I am also going to have 2 parts again since that worked well last time to remind me I am not exactly doing nothing over here and when I did my final update, it showed me how much I really have done. So expect that too. I lied. I am going to have a theme for my goals or rules as I will call them this challenge. They are stolen from Zombieland since it sounded like fun for once. The challenge for me starts on 10/17/17 since I am too tired to start it today. RULES: · Rule 1: Cardio: (1 pt) – Since I am hitting my step goal on all the days but weekends, I am increasing my goal to 10500 steps. Hopefully this will also force me to work a bit harder on the weekends. · Rule 2: Double Tap (2 pts) – This is to double Tap the sugary sweets that keep appearing. I don’t need them. I get 2 points if I completely avoid them, one if I had just 1. · Rule 3: Beware of Bathrooms (1pt): This one comes down to the keep it clean. I have gotten better about a good chunk of the house, but I can check the downstairs bathroom daily too. Or at least the vanity · Rule 8: With Your Bare Hands (1 pt): So bad name, but generally, keep working on my exercise and do a new exercise the basic burpee. The mini last challenge showed me how bad I am at them. I am hoping to get 25 of them by the end of the challenge. · Rule 11: Use Your Feet (1 pt) –I would like to aim for 15 minutes a day of walking. Be it outside in the world (which is preferred) or inside on the treadmill since the weather is starting to get a bit unpredictable. · Rule 13: Shake it Off (1pt): My carpal tunnel from 10-15 years ago has started to raise its ugly head. So I need to start doing some exercises and stretches to ward it off. I can’t find any of my old PT info on it, but I did some looking and I will be trying to work on the Wrist Extension Stretch at least once a day. · Rule 14: Always carry a change of underwear (1pt): Laundry is getting done, but not folded and then I get children in the morning complaining they have no pants, no underwear, no sweaters. This should help cut down on the “lack of pants” problem. · Rule 17: Don’t Be The Hero (1 pt): – The Agents need special time too. By making a point to spend time with them, I almost kind of get to be their hero. Maybe. OR I lie to myself that works too. · Rule 18: Limber Up (1 pt) : Continue my stretching. It is fixing things and I need to keep it that way, especially when sitting all the time. Add a new stretch (which is the one I will be counting) is called Knee to Chest. Hopefully it helps (if I can get my knees to my chest). · Rule 19: Break it Up (1pt): This will be my conquer chaos goal. I am going to leave it at 3 locations. If I do more, great, (and I will probably leave the stars as extra incentive), but I need to spend at least 5 minutes working in that room a day. Since the weather is turning bad, I will be doing my bedroom instead of the garage, along with the computer room or the basement. · Rule 22: When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out (1 pt): – In this case it means know what has to get done, what should get done and what can wait if it’s getting late. A plan is SO important in my life, I need to make sure I am making it. · Rule 27: The Buddy System (2 pt) – For my partner, I am recruiting all of you here at NF. You will be accounting systems when I don’t update and I will be there to remind you that you’re someone’s kid too. (This may have made more sense in my head) · Rule 32: Enjoy The Little Things (1pt): This is my favorite rule from the entire movie. I need to take a minute to enjoy. To remember the good things going on and not the bad. So I will be posting 1 good thing that happened each day. This way, it should help me keep the trolls in my head in check. Total points overall : 15 Part B: Life is not slowing down for me to get myself under control. So I need to do all of this while doing everything else. I am sure more will come up as I think about it, but here is the top level stuff. These are things I know must be done between now and when challenge ends: Things that have to get done this challenge: Get my challenge posted Sort out Challenge info Figure out start date for the challenge ( I may start early) Update bullet journal Get challenge set up in journal Set up grid/table/something (excel) Finish preparing to bring plants in over the winter Spend time with Hubby's family that is coming into town Halloween costumes planned Create/build acquire Halloween Party at Youngest school Help at Youngest’s school Parent teacher conference week Eldest Parent Techer conference Youngest Clean out beds for garlic Compost beds for garlic Plant garlic? Girl scout Sleep over Decide when to pull the garden Pull last of garden in back Pull garden in front Make a Proper List of doom Make Calendar of world for Agents in November Start Christmas lists for Agents fix my car's glass hinges (stupid things rusted)
  3. GREETINGS REBELLION!!I am Wraiven but those whom know me well call me Mitch Jnr. I have been working on leveling up my life and developed my quest log in a way to grow, not only for me but for the benefit of those all over the world. Since I can remember I have always been a very giving person and gathered joy from tasks that not only helped me be a better man, but also to help others grow too. Since my Father (Mitch Snr) passed away started really struggling with depression and anxiety in recent years and it's truly effected my growth and attitude towards what I always believed of myself. It could be chemical or it could just be my mind trying to avoid the pain of failing... But that's not gonna happen! Since joining the Rebellion I decided to dedicate a whole year to trying to change some lives and it's really had an Impact on me too.17 has always been my favourite number soooo I decided in 2017 I was going to do a Charity Challenge called 'Songs and Smiles' to help raise funds for Kids with Cancer, Mental Illness and Poverty/Famine. This requires me to do a song a day to bring smiles and provoke thought/nostalgia every single day and then people could share and possibly donate if they could. A simple premise but alot of people seem to like it. So far we have raised over $5000 and had 250,000 views on Youtube.My Dad always wanted to help kids with cancer because when he had it he always beleived he had lived and they deserved a chance to aswell, so I am doing this all in his memory and I hope all of the rebellion can join me too and become a SMILE SAVIOUR!DONATE: http://bit.ly/2iRw2vO GOFUNDME: http://bit.ly/2jXoQ5f FACEBOOK: http://bit.ly/2hFp6UY TWITTER: @MitchJnrMass <3 Mitch Jnr
  4. I am 45 yrs old a leo. Latina mixed I started out on this journey 415 pounds I got down to 165 .over the years I.have yoyoed with my weight I .emotionally ate.made excuses.used my dads death with cancer tore my.world apart and i used it as a excuse to eat ,failed relationship I ate. Food WAS my.comfort. I gained back into the 200s ..well with hard work dedication..im back in onederland. I also take care of my.mom that's partially paralyzed from multiple strokes.but.I need to take care of me too.self care..I cant take care of her if I.dont take care of my own health. Food= fuel no exceptions.Its not a hug or a warm blanket NOW its time to.rise and finish this journey. Power of three..this has worked for me. Clean eating Water Exercise 5 days a week. Diet..I.really hate that word, its a lifestyle change for me but my.plan is protective diet..a high nutrient vegan diet.there i said it diet lol I.make all my.own food pretty much from scratch Goals.. 1 month goal Work on getting in my.fitbit steps 10k No gluten ..I have ulcerative colitis Drinking green goddess aka green smoothie.Mon through friday Gym three days a week Meditation 2 month goal Work on strength and toning ..weight machines,kb Work on stairs. Continue meditation 3 month goals Release 20 pounds. I.say release instead of lose .losing means you can find it.I don't intend to find it again. Work on endurance I love to cook. And workout.ill be.posting workouts,my cooking experiments lol ..thoughts feelings and progress. Progress not perfection Time.to get.this party started its time to kick ass . .its time to finish what I started and keep improving.I believe there is no finish line My.goal is 135... Size 6 but that's just the beginning.than the real work begins..maintaining it..plus kicking ass every day. I.look forwarding to.making some friends here that we can support each other. I.love to.smile,laugh and enjoy life.. A good sense of humor a must.tou cant take life too seriously. .life is so short.make the most of it I have a cat named princess and she knows it..shes my baby. I like to.read..love to.dance.love.music.singing and listening to.it.its a great release. So now you know a little bit more about me. Let's do this guys! Yes im.talking to YOU..we got this!
  5. Hello, i'm not new to NF per se, since i've been on my journey for four weeks now, but I recently fell off the wagon with school starting back up and falling back into my old ways. Mostly the latter has caused the falling off. So I thought I will start again...a restart. I won't to complete something in my life for once, and really feel proud and not care what is thought of me or who knows. That's why i'm here. to find my support and accountability and be the same to fellow rebels. I tried the facebook group, both the lbgtqiaa/male...didn't go to well. So ill try my hand with the forums and journaling. It's a please to meet everyone.
  6. Gimeniux's: Take Six - A new Start Hey, remember me? I'm that girl who was getting back on track, who said she was going to make it, the one who was so close to her goal, who lost almost 13% of fat, almost 20 pounds of pure fat after a two year journey. Yes, that's me, but i'm also that girl who failed not once, not twice, but so many times i don't want to count anymore. And today i'm almost back to where i started, i haven't weight so much ever, 155lb (70kg), that's just 1lb away from being overweight. Although i have 26% of body fat, so i'm more muscle than fat, still, i'm totally off track. So without further due, here are my goals, new year, new goals, i can make it. GOAL 1 - Goodbye Facebook I suffer from depression, and Facebook is one of my triggers. I like to share stuff with friends and family, but mostly i get discourage when i spend so many hours looking at profiles, news, photos, and so. The worst part is i became a slave of the likes, and i don't want to be. I want to be happy because i am, not by how many people like my pictures, or my profile. So i have deleted my account, i don't know if it will be definetly or temporary, Facebook says i have 14 days to regret, if not they'll delete my complete account. I just make a backup to have all of my photos. It's all for my mental health. GOAL 2 - Hello 100% Paleo I love eating Paleo, because it gives me energy it doesn't make my stomach hurt, it also make wonders for my depression. When i eat clean i almost don't have any episodes. Lately i've been feeling pretty bad but that's accordingly with my bad eating habbits. I say 100% rule, because i don't do well with 80/20 it always ends up like 60/40 or 40/60. All or nothing for me, thanks. GOAL 3 - 10K i'm going to catch you! Last time i was 1K away from making it, now i'm starting my training program from cero. So first i'll do the 5K program, then catch up with the 10K. But i'll get there, i'm gonna get there. Side Quest - Salsa Lessons I love dancing, i've been taking clases, but i'm afraid i'm about to quit. I need a little push to continue, i want to make this my quest, attend to every class this month. And practice at least once apart from the class every week. MOTIVATION I've spent years looking to become the person that is within me. I want to know all of what I'm capable of. What my body could be. I don’t like to hide. I want my outside strong and imposing, to cause inspiration for me, for everyone. I want to see myself and feel that the future is worth the while. I'm doing this to smile. Want to live without getting sick. Be healthy and proud. I've been close many times. This time I will not fail.
  7. So much has changed for Snow in the past season..... she lives in an entirely different region of the Enchanted Forest, she has found new work to afford her enough gold to trade for the few necessities she can't make, hunt or find herself, she has a few new friends, and she has a new game plan for defeating the Evil Queen. But with all the change that remains, Snow can't seem to shake what has always plagued her.... worry that consumes her, regrets that follow her around like her shadow and an unquenchable thirst for victory over her lifelong foe, Regina, the Evil Queen. With all the success she's had recently at outwitting the Evil Queen, forging alliances, finding work, sustaining her life and making friends, she is very restless, anxious, troubled, and constantly on overdrive, never taking a break from the work and worry of finding vengeance, redemption, a future, love, a family, everything she is desperately craving. Snow has come to a point in her own life where she realizes that she needs to find ways to channel all of these nerves and all this pent-up aggression, and she needs to make sure she takes care of herself, or else she will not be able to carry out her plans and achieve her destiny. Snow has decided that it's time to make some changes; she knows that she cannot live with this level of stress, fear and worry every day. She knows that, if she does not defeat her fears now, that fear will become a greater foe than even the Evil Queen. She has finally made a plan to take care of herself, do things that will calm her mind and her heart, and build up discipline, creating habits that will make her a stronger, wiser, kinder, more disciplined warrior and, someday, Queen. (To break through the crypticness, I moved to El Dorado Hills, a suburb of Sacramento, CA, on September 2nd, because I was hired as the Volunteer Director for Congressman Tom McClintock's re-election campaign! I'm living with a supporter and his wife, and trying to get used to a new place, new coworkers, new job, new everything. I will be moving home on November 5th, so this will be the longest I've ever been away from home. I am interviewing with a potential employer for November, and dealing with a lot of stress due to the campaign, being away from everyone and everything I love, unfinished business from the past year, finances, all kinds of things....) My goals are: 1. Daily Yoga - I will be spending 20 minutes every day doing an online yoga video or doing whatever yoga poses my body needs. For the first 30 days, I will be doing the 30 Day Yoga Challenge on doyouyoga.com with DarkRaven as my accountability partner, and then the rest of the time, I will find whatever videos I want to do each day. This will create peace, relieve my stress and tension, and calm my mind and heart. I am allotting 3 STA points for a successful challenge. I will rate my success by how many days I miss doing yoga: A = 0-2 days missed = 3 STA points B = 3-4 days = 2.5 C = 5-6 days = 2 D = 7-9 = 1 F = 10+ = 0 2. Couch to 5K Program - I will be running 3x a week for the allotted 25 minutes of the C2K program. I love running, but my endurance is TERRIBLE. I hope to just successfully complete the program, and in doing so, I hope to prepare for my first 5K, which is September 27th. It's really soon and I won't be ready to run all of it, but it's for an incredibly good cause and I couldn't pass up doing it. Running makes me feel powerful, accomplished and focused. It clears my mind and takes all of my worries and fears away. Since running is so hard for me and so important to me, I'm allotting 3 DEX and 3 STA points for a total of 6. I will rate my success by how many runs I miss: A = 0-2 runs missed = 3 DEX, 3 STA B = 3-4 days = 2.5 DEX, 2.5 STA C = 5-6 days = 2 DEX, 2 STA D = 7-9 days = 1 DEX, 1 STA F = 10+ days = 0 3. Daily Bible/intelligent reading - I recently read Genesis to Joshua, so I have broken Judges-Revelations up into readable chunks every day, with 1-3 chapters of each the Old and New Testament each day. I have also been working on reading something intelligent every day; right now, they're all political books that will aid me in my new position as the Volunteer Director on a Congressional campaign and in my new position (hopefully) in November on a pre-presidential campaign PAC. This will increase my wisdom and knowledge, and build discipline. It will also improve my confidence on and off the job. I am allotting 2 WIS points and 1 CHA point. I will rate my success by how many nights I don't read: A = 0-2 nights missed = 2 WIS, 1 CHA B = 3-4 days = 1.5 WIS, .75 CHA C = 5-6 days = 1 WIS, .5 CHA D = 7-9 days = .5 WIS, .25 CHA F= 10+ days = 0 Please bear with me on how long this next one is.... It's really important to me to share info about eating disorders. There is not enough awareness about them, so I think it's well worth my time typing it, and hopefully your time reading it. I am still struggling with my OSFED (Otherwise Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder, formerly known as EDNOS). It can manifest itself in many forms; it is a blanket category to capture everyone whose eating disorder doesn't fit neatly into the box of anorexia or bulimia. Mine is severe atypical anorexia. I have all of the symptoms and habits of anorexia, but I am not underweight and have not lost my period yet. My body is still starving itself and my organs are under constant stress and damage due to my under-eating. Some of the signs of anorexia or atypical anorexia: Obsessive calorie counting and knowledge of calories in almost all foods. Purging, or attempting to get rid of eaten food by inducing vomiting or taking laxatives or diuretics. Hiding eating habits due to shame or embarrassment. Hiding the food reserved for binges. Showing excessive interest in weight, body image and fasting. Hiding items such as laxatives or diuretics. Skipping meals, often eating only small snacks instead. Ingesting an excessive amount of food, even when not hungry. Lying about having eaten in an attempt to avoid a meal or snack. Eating until uncomfortable or sick. Eating only a limited number or type of food. Binging, or eating a great amount of food in one sitting. Exercising excessively, particularly after or “to make up for†eating. “Grazing†for as long as food is available. “Playing†with or pushing food around a plate rather than eating it. Hiding food (in a napkin, under a plate, etc.) to avoid eating it. Some of the symptoms and results of (atypical) anorexia: Organ damage Abnormally slow heart rate Unusually low blood pressure Abnormal heart rhythms Heart failure Abdominal painConstipation Absence of menstrual periods Trouble getting pregnantIncreased risk of miscarriage or C-section Decreased urination Potassium deficiencyBone density loss Bone fractures OsteoporosisKidney stones, kidney failure Electrolyte imbalances AnemiaHigh cholesterol levels Dry, flaky, yellowish skin Fine downy hair on the face, back, arms and legsLoss of hair on the head Brittle nails Trouble maintaining core body temperatureBruising easily Depression Social IsolationIrritability Difficulty with social interactions FatigueFainting Chronic Dizziness or Lightheadedness Poor memory, change in brain chemistryDecreased attention span Decreased concentration Compulsive eating ritualsObsessive about food Mood disorders Anxiety disordersPersonality disorders Perfectionism Suicidal tendenciesAddictions to gambling, alcohol, or drugs Compulsions relating to sex, housework, exercising, and/or shopping Death I'm dealing with some of the listed habits and quite a few of the symptoms, and I want, not to mention need, to get this under control. I'm tired of feeling scared and sick. I'm tired of it affecting every piece of my life; my relationship with God, my family, friends and guys, my work, running, my social life, everything. I want to reach a healthy place with my body and food. Eating disorders are the most fatal mental health disorder; 10-20% of us die from our condition. I refuse to be in that statistic. It's up to me to fight this with everything I have. 4. Eating my BMR every day and tracking it on MFP - I need to eat my BMR of calories every day and consistently track it on MFP. Currently, that's 1426 calories and I'm really struggling to eat them. I am allotting 2 CON points and 1 CHA point. I will rate my success by how many days I don't meet this goal: A = 0-2 days missed = 2 CON, 1 CHA B = 3-4 days = 1.5 CON, .75 CHA C = 5-6 days = 1 CON, .5 CHA D = 7-9 days = .5 CON, .25 CHA F= 10+ days = 0 Thank you so much for reading my challenge and supporting me in this endeavor! I am grateful for your companionship and I wish you the best of luck in your own quest! -Snow <3 "And though she be but little, she is fierce." -William Shakespeare
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