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So there I was in the wasteland, with like 2 HP left, and I keep getting murked by small critters that I've haven't been able to get any momentum going. Disappeared since challenge #89, and since then I've been sleeping on the couch because of water damage and mold infestation and the insurance agency being an insurance agency. The only reason I'm able to keep it together is I swallowed my pride and borrowed a large amount of money from my mother again because nodody will subscribe to my OnlyFans. Me trying my best every day: Anyway, I'm just here to get started, literally. I'm going to treat myself like the most unmotivated beginner (which I am currently), and set the bar really low. Easy stuff to start with. Everything else I do is extra: LIFT: 10 Goblet Squats PROTEIN: 1 protein shake BREATHE: 10 deep breaths

Hokay, so. Here's Mir. Not round. But damn, sweet Mir. Anyway. Here is my word vomit: Background I've struggled with depression and ADHD for pretty much my entire adult life. In particular, I have traditionally had enormous trouble maintaining a job of any kind. Part time, full time, retail, office, professional, etc., it doesn't matter. After a while, I just can't make it to work every day. I have struggled. I have tried. I have set goals, rewards, budgets, etc etc etc...nothing works. I'm sure that I've talked about this extensively in older posts; if you have questions, feel free to ask, but I don't want to get into the details here. To show how bad it really is, I've been with my current employer since January 2013. I earn 4 hours of sick time every pay period (2 weeks). I have no accumulated sick time. Current Situation I had something of a mental breakdown in May (a lot of things came to a head all at once and I just couldn't handle it); thus I have been off work since around Mother's Day. I have exhausted my FMLA credits, although I do get another 3 months or so of unpaid medical leave. This gives me until Nov 20. I had a meeting with work people recently to talk about going back, and I'm just...not ready. I feel as though I only have one chance to go back and make it work, because if I fail again, even if I have leave time left, who is going to feel they can rely on me? Talking with my therapist, I have come to the conclusion that maybe the traditional work environment/schedule just doesn't work for me. I have spent my entire life trying to fit my square self into the round world, and it's impossible; so now it's time to see if I can make my world square. I know I am smart. I am ambitious, dedicated, enthusiastic, outgoing, friendly, and all-around awesome. When I become interested in something, I can (and often do) focus nearly all my attention to it until I have a handle on it. Trouble is, I seem to get bored easily, and the combination of boredom plus a work environment in which I don't thrive have created the perfect storm. I frequently wonder if I really am just lazy or stupid. Which makes me mad. Okay, that was a tangent. Anyway. What I Need I need a job/career that is a better fit for me than what I've been doing. Some of the things I believe I need/value in a job are as follows: autonomyflexibility re: schedulingability to try new things (even if they fail)/be creativechallengesuhh, I can't brain - something that is able to capture and keep my interest, OR something that changes frequentlyThose are all the things I can think of for now. So, considering something like contract or freelance work. I'm interested in EVERYTHING. My degree is a BBA in Information Technology Management, and I enjoy technical details as well as the overall picture. For the past couple of years, I've worked as an IT programmer/analyst using SAP Business Objects. SQL appeals to me because it's logical but also because it's like a puzzle to figure out...although I will also admit that I'm not always 100% awesome with all the details (missing commas, what?). I also have an interest in project management; specifically requirements gathering (probably). I've billed myself as a bridge between people and technology, because I can walk the walk and I can also talk the talk. I tend to be pretty good at putting technical concepts in layman's terms. Plus, I think that's really something that is lacking in the tech world. SO. I never had enough self-confidence to think I could be an entrepreneur or do anything like contract/freelance...but now that I'm thinking about it, I'm excited. However....I have no idea where to start. I have a couple of people I can contact, and I will, but I have NO idea if they will be able to help me. Any advice/suggestions/leads? My deadline looms large in my face.

As I walked into the gym the first time I felt like a stranger in a strange land. I was hit by an overpowering sent of sweat and Axe bodyspray. Strange torcher devises littered the floor. And grunting giants roamed between them aimlessly. Here there be meat heads. I did a few stack machines and then some cardio and got the heck out. As any good stranger in a strange land I then began to research this alien world. I listened to podcasts asked my friend and generally stumbled around the internet. Until I found the proverbial "Old Ben" hiding in plain sight of Nerd Fitness. I am much more confident but I still struggle to get any time with the true lifting area because of the meat heads that tend to monopolize it. So now I humbly partition the dissensions of the internet, Is my tale a common one? Do you have any suggestions to help me navigate? Are there any unwritten rules of civility that are employed? Any good horror stories out there?