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Hey there, nerds. How long has it been since I've been around these parts? <checks old challenge threads> Let's not talk about that. We'll just say it's been a while. And now it's time to respawn. Almost five months ago, my wife and I began separation procedures. My entire life was turned upside down. We sold our house. On September 8, I packed the last of my possessions into my car, and I drove into America. I would not return to Ontario again for two months. Over the course of those two months, I visited 25 of the continental United States, attended Camp Nerd Fitness 2016, gave out innumerable hugs, and found the most profound, difficult and heart-wrenching reason to be. Me. If you've visited my threads before, you'll know how difficult an admission that has been for me. If you're here from the Camp Facebook page, first off, welcome! Second, you know a little bit more about how I came to that revelation. If my forum friends will bear with me, I'll fill you in on the meaty, painful truths that led up to that. This is harder than I expected it to be. Here's a picture of a fox while I gather my courage. I'm a survivor of abuse. I was physically and emotionally abused as a child. I have lived with a total absence of self-worth and an inability to see value in myself outside of the approval of others. I am still a work in progress. I'm still not in the best head space. But I am acknowledging the darkest parts of me and working towards good mental health. And so, we begin our journey. The Lord of the Rings was the first true novel I ever read. I read it once every year from the time I was twelve years old until the Return of the King came out in 2003. Wow. Return of the King came out 13 years ago. It was my gateway to fantasy and eventually to the entire nerd spectrum. It holds a very dear place in my heart. The struggles of Frodo and the Nine Walkers have been a touchstone in my life. However, due to the peculiarities of my mental health, I have always been drawn to the villains. The Lord of the Rings has those a-plenty. And they shall be my foes. The One Ring In the Fellowship of the Ring, the primary antagonist is largely the Ring itself. It whispers its corrupting song to the weakest members of the Fellowship attempting to sway them to evil. By the end of the first film, Boromir succumbs and attempts to take the Ring from Frodo. This signals the breaking of the Fellowship and the divergence of the characters arcs that are developed throughout the remainder of the story. My brain itself is the corrupting influence of the Ring. Most people put the life goals at the end of their challenge. Well, mine is the elephant in the room that I have ignored for too long. My travels put this in the forefront of my mind a lot of the time. I drove 14,000 km alone in my car. That left me with a lot of time alone with my thoughts. Sometimes they were good, sometimes they were bad. But I was present and looked forward, rather than behind. I am not ignoring it this time around. I'm fighting it by being more present. I have done well when I have been active on my threads. So I am going to post something in my own thread every day. Even if it's simply to say "I'm alive and still going", I will do it. Saruman the White In the first half of the Two Towers, Saruman is the main antagonist. His corruption by Sauron drives him to poison the mind of the king of Rohan and breed his massive army of Uruk-Hai. And Christopher Lee was simply brilliant playing him. Two Towers might be my favourite of the films. The revelation that Gandalf has become the White and Merry and Pippin finding their voices to rouse the Ents were the events that broke Saruman's power in the end. In my long journey, I had to take a good long look in the mirror and acknowledge that I had been living under false assumptions. That I was, in fact, worthy of taking the title myself. A very good friend told me that I was his Earendil, a compliment which still floors me. What I need to do to really live that is find my voice. Hello, segue! I started taking voice acting lessons this month. This is a HUGE departure from my comfort zone in that I have only ever considered myself "okay for an amateur, at best." There have been enough cues, positive feedback, and suggestions from my instructors that I can make a legitimate living at this. Add to that the fact that I am just ecstatically happy being in the recording booth and making a script live. So I have a whole host of practice to get into. The biggest one is to build the habit of reading aloud every day. So every day, I am going to spend a minimum of 30 minutes a day reading whatever text I have aloud. The news, FB posts, the books I'm reading, all of this is fair game. Every word is a story. And I am training to be a storyteller. Let's tell some stories. Gollum Poor Smeagol. He is the most tragic character in the Lord of the Rings. In Gollum we see how far someone can fall. The influence of the Ring drove Gollum to theft, murder, and total isolation from all other living things. So lonely, precious. So very lonely. I always identified most strongly with Smeagol. The darkness does funny things to your head. You have no worth. You can't have worth. It's all a lie. And it's in your own head, so it's not even something other people can see and tell you is wrong. His story touched me very deeply and I always felt that the end of it was inevitable for me as well. Life is precious, friends. Community is the answer. I don't have enough nerds close to me. But I have something that's almost as good. I have my art. I have my hapkido club. I spent this weekend preparing one of my students for his black belt grading. It reminds me how rewarding I find it to teach and to build others up. Now that I'm back in Ontario, I can train regularly again. So let's get back to training. Twice a week, Mondays and Thursdays, for black belt training and kicking, respectively. Other classes are available and definitely welcome. But those are my absolutes. The Eye of Sauron The all-seeing Eye of Sauron hovers over the entirety of the Lord of the Rings as the vague yet menacing antagonist. Never physically present, in the books or the films, it still managed to be a frightening presence that unnerved and terrified the Fellowship and drove Sauron's lesser minions like the fiery whips of the Balrog. It was impossible to defeat Sauron through direct confrontation. That was the purpose of the Fellowship, after all, to destroy the source of his power. But it was possible to stand in reckless defiance, to raise one's head and declare that evil shall not be unopposed. This was central to the conflict in Return of the King where every member of the Fellowship, cast across Middle Earth, struggled and pushed to overcome the nightmarish hordes of Mordor. My nightmare horde is my body. I hate it. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I'm shaped. I have little in the way of good to say about it. And yet, I still have times when I feel good about what my body can do. I run aggressive classes in hapkido and I feel exhilarated. I get under a barbell and I feel like a monster. I set up my rings and I am overcome with joy. I am choosing to ignore the whispers of the Eye and stand up against it. I will exercise. I will do three workouts a week, alternating barbells and rings. My power rack is in a basement with 7 1/2' ceilings. I may really want to do OHP, but I need 11' to do so safely. Not practical and muscle ups are a long term goal of mine anyways. Win-win! And that's it. Time to get this thing called life under control.

Okay, it's been a rough week and I've been staring at this for a while now. If there hadn't been a house guest in the beginning of the week, I probably wouldn't have been in as much of a funk. For anyone who's interested, RP is a terrible house guest. * But enough of that. It's challenge time. I'm going back to some deeply held loves. Things that are simple and elemental in the joy that they bring to me. My basics, if you will. See what I did there? I'm bringing it back. He-Man Hello, body-image. You're terrible. He-Man, for reference, looks like this: How I see myself is like this: As with most things, reality is somewhere in between. I'ma hide this so people don't have to look. Not a particularly flattering light or angle, but you get the picture. I don't want to feel like I'm the Blerch. And I also acknowledge that He-Man (and basically all popular media images) are entirely unrealistic goals to strive for. To combat this, I'm going to aspire to the attitude of He-Man and try to achieve at least a semblance of the Most Powerful Man in the Universe. My wife and I have re-committed to going to the gym together. Barbell exercises are something we both enjoy and we can push each other to go. So I'll be restarting myself at empty bar for Stronglifts 5x5, for the umpteenth time, but this time with the mindful attitude that I want it and I need to work for it. Stronglifts 3x per week. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles No one should be surprised by this. My art will continue to be my focus and there is always more for me to do. This time around, I get to fully embrace being a 2nd degree black belt and see where this new chapter of my journey will take me. Same as always, I go to two classes a week. This one is unlikely to change until I open my own school. Hapkido 2x per week. The Muppet Show Bet no one was expecting this, eh? This might be dating myself considerably, but I grew up watching the Muppet Show. It is simply the best. In every episode, Kermit the Frog is trying to put on his variety show. In every episode, guests go crazy, the acts go wrong and the audience gets wacky. But you know what? In every episode, the show goes on. Why is that? Because the show must go on. There's a theme in my life where lots of things derail me. And when that happens, I stop eating. I let the circumstances of my life dictate my actions. I must be like Kermit. He flips out. He yells. He screams. He flails his arms wildly. But the show must go on. Always. Eat 3 meals a day, every day. Astroboy How many of you know the story of Astroboy? In the pilot episode, the great roboticist Dr Tenma ignored and neglected his son such that he died in a car accident. Overcome with grief, he built the most powerful android ever and made it look like his deceased son, intending to have the robot replace him. Then he ignored and neglected the robot. Astroboy is fundamentally a tragic character both from the circumstances of his creation and also in the treatment by his creator. However, throughout the many challenges in his life, dealing with hate and fear from those who don't understand him, he is essentially a hopeful character. He sees the worst and chooses to be better. Stress has a tendency to make my depression significantly worse. By some bizarre twist of fate, I have no additional stressors in my life. I have no impending international visitors. The wiring in my house is done. My wife's insane program that has made the past year hell is over. All that I have left is to manage my home, continue my job search and generally keep my head above water. That's a lovely sentiment, but we love measurable things here at Nerd Fitness. I've made daily affirmation type of goals before and they have gone poorly. However, in the past, I've had all of those stressors I talked about. I'm going to shoot for a more realistic number. Post happy thoughts on my thread 3x per week. *RP is not actually a terrible house guest and my wife informs me that he's nice to have around.

Welp, life has a way of happening. This was going to be my "getting back to the shape I want to be for my grading" challenge. Then I went to class and my master says to me, "Let's do your grading at the end of this month." Soooo... anyone want to visit me on August 4th? Cause that's when my grading is. This isn't super unexpected as this is 4 months later than my master wanted my grading to occur. He asked about it first in March. Then I got injured. Then I was better and then my grading partner was injured. Then he decided he wasn't coming back until September. Then some idiot wanted to come to Canada for my grading. And then this happened. Given that my grading is now imminent, I'm going to refocus this challenge on foundational fitness. And other things. Train for a second (degree) As always, I'm going to keep my training as a goal. I never want to lose sight of the fact that my great long term goal is to be in a position to self teach. Class twice a week as my wife's work schedule allows. Given that her schedule is going to improve dramatically in mid-August, I'm pretty content with that. Pause for a second I haven't been handling unemployment well. That's just a simple fact. There's a lot of stress in my home. We have a lot going on. I get lost in my head. These things are happening way too often. I'm going to try something different. At 11 o'clock and 3 o'clock each weekday, I'm going to stop whatever I'm doing (goofing off, teaching myself a new programming language, cleaning, whatever) and do some deep breathing for one minute. That's it. Something to recenter myself and get back on track. We'll see how that goes. Go for a second helping Man, why is food so hard? A number of challenges ago, I made it a goal to eat a good lunch every week day. It was a good goal and I felt I did well at it. Then I stopped eating lunch again. My food has become erratic and weird. Which is bad. Eat lunch! Food is important! Do a second set The only consistent exercise I have is my hapkido training. And that's great and all, but it neglects certain foundational strength issues. I am certainly guilty of not making that part of my fitness a priority, despite regularly coming home from class with strange pains that it shouldn't be possible to occur. They do, but they're not muscle exhaustion and rebuilding. This goal is going to be both fluid and measurable. I sit a lot. One might say all of the time. Each day, my goal is to get up and move with purpose twice. Walking to the grocery store and back. Mowing my lawn. Doing hill sprints with my wife. Do a body weight workout routine. Letting my nephew run me ragged. These are all ways that I can get up and move around. So do them. SUPER SECRET TRAVEL GOAL If you've read this far, then I admire your courage. I have flights booked for August 21st to go to Philadelphia. We'll be there until the 25th. Seems like a good way to help the mid- to end of challenge doldrums. Who's in the area? Who wants to meet up for a drink or more likely board games because I'm still unemployed and the flights came from visa points.

First, let me put this here. I listened to perhaps half a dozen edits of this song before I found the one that's too my liking. It has the tone, the beat, and the message I'm looking for. I'm there for you You're there for me That's how it is When we believe that We are the ones we belong to I just lost my grandmother this past weekend and I didn't want to finish putting up a challenge. My mother was also extremely ill just the week before that. How much time did SFG want to spend on himself? None. Then I had an intense conversation with my sister before my grandma's wake and I was reminded how much more there is. We are the ones Who want to make a better place We are the ones Who do believe in the human race We are the ones Who want to shape their better days I'm going to keep this simple. I'm planning a trip to Philadelphia at the end of the month and I want to be able to transport my goals with me. Hapkido My grading partner had a moderate shoulder injury so he's out of commission for a time. This gives me more time to polish my 2nd degree techniques. I'm pretty happy with my sword and kicking techniques as those were not up to the quality that I had desired a year ago. With some dedicated effort, I feel confident about their condition now. I'm less confident about my joint locking techniques. Some jerkface reminded me of the roots of my art in our shared parentage. I spent so much time focusing on my striking that I have neglected my locks. 2nd degree test involves directional joint locks, basically being able to direct an opponent to any angle with any one of our joint locks up to and beyond 360 degrees. There are some harmonizing movements that I can do and my master is clearly happy enough with it that he wants me to grade, but I feel that I need some more polish. So let's do it! Continue attending class a minimum of 2 times per week. While in Philadelphia, this obviously isn't going to happen at my school, but I'm looking into visiting one of the local hapkido schools (there are 3!) to check them out while we're there. Body Weight work Once upon a time, I did a "push up every day" challenge. Got myself up to a steady 50 a day. That made me very happy to do. I felt stronger. It gave my days focus. And also made my shoulders pop a lot. So why not do that again as something simple that I can try to sustain. Week 1 and 2: 20 push ups and lunges per day Week 3 and 4: 35 push ups and lunges per day Week 5 and 6: Big ole 50 a day Meditate Does it look like I'm just lifting things directly out of sarakingdom's suggestions? I don't know what you're talking about. I have been sad at losing my habit of meditation. It used to be part of my routine. Well, I can make it part of it again. Meditate for five minutes every day. Happiness Ha! You thought this was going to be about food, didn't you! Ha! Am I happy? Right now, that's a definite no. It's not because of where my life is, or my relationship, or my family, or my friends. I'm just generally dissatisfied with "me". The big change I have is that I feel like I should be. So what am I happy about? What makes me feel grateful to have? Here's my accountability to myself and my nerds. I need to talk more about the things that make me happy. It's not just nerds and hapkido (but those are two things). All the little things piled together make a big thing. Write about my happiness. At minimum, once a week.

You know, sometimes you just need a training montage. It may come from being a child of the 80s, but there is something that moves me about training montages set to awesome power ballads. Of course, finding the right media to go along with it, you end up with a lot of same-y results. I've gotten the heads-up from my master that it's time for me to be setting a date for my second degree black belt grading. The timing is apropos as the challenge is just beginning and I need to get some semblance of order back into my life. So lets do some order. I also started typing this at 8 am this morning and it's now almost 2 pm. I keep trying to find some interesting words and I need to accept that I'm letting me be the one to stop myself. The thing about that is that I am also the one that can get myself moving. Train for dat belt I have directional joint locks, sword techniques and kicking techniques on my grading. I have been kicking a lot and my legs have definitely shown the improvement. I'll be investing some time in my locks and sword work over the next six weeks. So we're back to a twice a week schedule. Lift dat thing Strong SFG is strong. When I actually train, that is. I love barbells, but I get derailed easily because of an inherent acceptance of the status quo. And that is my problem. I love lifting, but I too easily make excuses. Given the craziness of the next month, I am going to aim for twice a week at the gym. Eat dat food Hey, how about that regular meal schedule? Yeah, that hasn't been happening. The very first thing that I fall off the wagon with is food when I'm in a bad place. And I have a month of essentially living alone ahead of me. My wife is working her already full schedule plus picking up shifts in another region for three days a week. I need to eat my meals. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sleep in dat bed Sleep, as we know, is critical for good recovery and overall health. The second thing that breaks down when I am not doing well. And I'm really not doing well, so my sleep schedule is waaaaaay off kilter. My goal, then, is to be in bed by 11 for the first two weeks, 10:30 in weeks 3 and 4, and finally 10 o'clock in 5 and 6. This is going to be one of those challenges that I really need to pay attention to myself. I'm going to be alone for much of the next month and I do poorly under those conditions. I will also have extremely limited access to a vehicle. My exercise and training goals are going to require that I suck it up and do something about it to meet them. Now let's get this going. I've wasted enough time as it is.

I'm going to switch gears on this one. I nerded out pretty hard writing the last challenge and it did the job for me. This time around, I need to express myself a little more creatively. This time, it's all about the beat. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sotMr3NZ35A We will stand All that we have is all that we are We will stand All the hearts together apart Since the moment I first heard this song, this has been my anthem. If you've been around after there's been a nerd meetup, you understand. If you haven't, well... I love my nerds. They are my tribe and my people. My brothers and sisters from all over the world. They are my heart. Okay, so I'm a giant mushbag. But the lesson here is to pay attention to my people. In lieu of my nerds, I have my club. As always, I'm holding myself accountable to be present, to be an example and to teach. I have my 2nd degree grading hanging over my head. I must be prepared. This is not new. Class twice a week, at minimum. Work it harder, make it better Do it faster, make us stronger For anyone that does not get the impetus of this song, I am sorry, but we can no longer be friends. Daft Punk is magic and that is all there is to it. I have had a lot of trouble getting to the gym due to scheduling issues and lack of car and holy-fuck-it's-cold-itis. I had a think, and the fact is that I made this fancy circuit to test my fellow monks. A fairly simple circuit one can do at home. So, I'ma do that three times a week, trying to improve my position on the charts.

I've been doing this here NerdFitness thing for a while now. And you'd think I'd realize that I follow my own challenges best when they are framed by things I care a LOT about. Not things I think are funny or am heavily involved in. The things that matter. To me. Funnily enough, on a place called Nerd Fitness, my thing is games. How games are constructed. How games are played. How people interact with them. These are my bread and butter. And dragons. Fun fact: I first found this image in 1997 and got in touch with the artist to find out if he sold prints. This was 1997 and he did not and also was from Korea. I used this for many years as my avatar image on ICQ and MSN Messenger when those were still a thing. So today, we're going to talk about a game which is very near and dear to my heart. So, my lovely little nerds, let me take you on a journey. A journey where you will do the impossible. As your Game Master (or Dungeon Master, if you're fancy), it will be my job to make sure that you go the right way and save the right princess. But first, before we do that, we're going to need a party. That's what my nerds are for. Let me guide you on the path to building a successful party. I have played every edition of D&D. I could go on at great length about the pros and cons of each edition, but that's not what we're here for. We're here for the edition that has the most structure (I will not say best, not in this thread) for constructing a party. That's 4th edition, or 4E for the D&D nerds out there. In 4th Edition, the playable characters are broken up into 4 each of which falls in line with my goals this time around. So let's get to this. STRIKER Death is the best status effect 4E Strikers are often the simplest and least complicated characters to play. These are the guys that pick a target and make it dead. They have class abilities that make them more accurate, deal more damage and get out of trouble quickly. In short, they kill things dead. Everybody wants to play the striker at one point or another. Showing you how to be a striker is fairly easy for me. That's my hapkido classes. Two classes a week. Working hard on speed, precision and flexibility. DEFENDER I am the shield that guards the realms of men For those of you familiar with D&D and its idiosyncrasies, let me be very clear. A Defender is not like a tank in WoW. Their job is not to take all of the damage. A defender's job is to stand before the ranks of the enemy and say, "No." Does he want to move? No. Does he want to hit my friend? No. Does he want to do anything that I don't allow him to? No. The Defender is a tactical and careful character who makes his allies safe. My inner Defender needs to shine to be a good example to my party. How can I make things safe? The holidays were sort of a bad time for me, what with being unemployed, having no schedule and being sick for two weeks straight. I've lost my basic healthy pattern. So I'm going to make some baby steps back. I need to eat properly and consistently. When my wife is at work, I have this habit of not really eating meals. So my goal is 3 meals per day. I'm not one of those people who can fast. I get the hangries like nobody's business. Every day, I need a good breakfast, a lunch and a healthy dinner. That keeps me safe and stable and ready to rock. CONTROLLER Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration? The Controller is often the most difficult class to play in any D&D game. They do not deal extraordinary amounts of damage. They are very frail. Their defenses are usually relatively low. And yet, they can be one of the most potent characters at the table. Controllers look at their foes and see a world of opportunity. They fling enemies about the battlefield. They slow, confuse and dominate the weak-willed. They erect walls of flame and shadow. They summon angels and demons to harry and threaten enemy ranks. They do exactly what their name suggests. They control how the battle flows. My enemies are depression, anxiety and yet more depression. I will control the battlefield of my life by setting up a framework for my days. I will not stay in bed, despite being unemployed and having nothing better to do. I will get up with my wife as if I had a job to go to. I will not go back to bed, because depressed people will sleep if given the opportunity. I have work that I can be doing until such time as it turns into employable work. I am going to put my nose to the grindstone and just do it. I am going to do it because I can do it. LEADER Don't believe in me who believes in you. Don't believe in you who believes in me. Believe in you who believes in yourself! I know what you're thinking. Leader? Sounds like the man in charge, right? Wrong. Old editions of D&D had this problem where it was nigh impossible to survive if your party did not have a cleric. No healer = TPK. 4E took that old trope and evolved it significantly. The Leader's job is to make every other party member better. More accurate, more damage, more attacks, more defenses, more movement, more hit points. The order of that statement was also no accident. If monsters die faster, less healing is required. If the party is harder to hit, less healing is required. Who needs a cleric? Clerics are arguably one of the more boring type of leader that are out there. Give me a nice warlord who uses his barbarian companion as a weapon instead. And what will I do to make my party (myself) better over this challenge? If you read the tags on my thread, you may have been curious when they would become relevant. Part of my mental issues is that I don't really think very highly of myself. One might argue that it's a pretty big part of them. I am going to resolve to post one thing each day that is nice or good about myself. Either something about me or something I have done. I can be better. So start by pointing it out. *** That should about cover it. I'm recovering from two solid weeks of being sick. I'd really like to start the new year off on the right foot. Unlike the usual new year's resolution nonsense, I'm starting small to build a better me. It's probably pretty obvious from the tone of this thread that I love 4E D&D. I love the design. I love the mechanics. I love the diversity and tone of the classes. And since I love it, it's a worthy theme for my challenge. Now if only I could get off my ass and learn how to use the virtual table software I have to run the game that's brewing in the back of my head...

Placeholder no more! Really, all I care about is from 1:34 and on, but it's still a funny clip. If you haven't watched Venture Brothers, it's on Netflix and it's well worth your time. . I have this problem. I'm really inconsistent with my workout regimen. I get super excited about things, I get into the swing of things and then life happens and I get completely wrecked. Then I start again and I am in agony for a few days from DOMS. Lather, rinse, repeat. So I feel a little bit like these guys. As if that wasn't obvious by the teaser video. Henchmen 21 and 24 sum up a lot of how my challenges go. They mean well. They love what they're doing. But they muddle their way through everything. They have an excess of enthusiasm and get easily distracted by pointless minutiae. That's pretty much me all over. Rather than fight against my nature, I will instead embrace it! *** Henchman #24: Boss, there's a monster down here! Henchman #21: I think it was two ninjas taped together to make one giant ninja! That's right. That's me. One giant ninja. I keep including this as a challenge goal, because it's really important to me. Hapkido, twice a week. I need something that I feel like I'm successful at. Travelling to Boston next week is going to put a kink in this, but I'm going to count Guild Leader pummelling as attending a class. You know who you are... Henchman #21: You still don't get it. 24 and I have been on, like, a thousand missions. We've been shot at, dipped in acid... Henchman #24: Brock Samson hit me with a car. Drove right into my kidney. Here I am! Some monster posted the idea of doing Tabata workouts during the last challenge. A horrible, horrible monster. Then I started doing them. The first one kicked my ass up and down. Then I did another one and I didn't feel as awful. I felt terribly, terribly vital and full of energy. Now my students are excited about them, too. I have people coming to off-nights so that they can be around when I run this workout. I think I have found a desirable form of punishment exercise. I've promised a number of people at my club that I'm going to run these for several weeks to gather appropriate data. I will run this every Thursday and Saturday that I'm in class. Mondays are out-of-bounds because I'm doing black belt stuff during the regular warm-up. Thursdays are largely for me to torment students and Saturdays are a lovely time to work up a sweat. Henchman 21: [Opening his bureau] Gentlemen, choose your weapons. Henchman 24: Are these them? Henchman 21: [correcting] Are these 'they'. Henchman 24: Who talks like that? The Monarch: Stand aside. I'm in charge here and I will assign the... are these they? Henchman 21: [Proudly, as the scene reveals the 'weapons' to be collector's toys] Yep. And you gotta admit that it is a sweet collection. The Monarch: You f***ing idiot! You expect us to go in to battle with these? Is it your plan so that they will die laughing? I'm a martial artist. That means my weapon of choice is my own body. Like many nerds, I often feel like that weapon is one of 21's collectible toys. I have reach, mass and sheer intimidating size. Strength and the appearance of strength are definitely missing. I keep saying that I intend to lift more regularly and I keep falling down. I'm putting it back on the page to lift. Those weights gotta go up, my nerds. Lift twice a week. During the trip to Boston, there is a plan to lift with a bunch of Warriors and maybe a monk or two who might have time in his busy running schedule. So even travel will not deter me. LIFE GOALS Dr. Killinger: "The Venture problem is very volatile. We must approach it with caution, but first we need to address other drastic issues. The floating cocoon is in bad need of..."Henchman #24: "The cocoon's fine! I think the problem is you!"Henchman #21: "He's right! Yeah, everybody just thinks you're sooo great, but you're just sooo not!"Henchman #24: "Yeah! Who do you think you are?"Henchman #21: "I mean, come on! This guy just waltzes in here with his huge baby-bearing hips and he starts changing everything."Dr. Killinger: "That's not fair. I never chose my figure." Change is always scary. With my anxiety and (currently being managed) depression, I don't like it when things change. But life is change. Everything changes all the time. It's unavoidable. Until the freeze ray is complete nothing at all happens. One of those changes is that my wife is going through an extremely intensive certification program. We have a very give-and-take dynamic when it comes to looking after our home. She does some things. I do other things. Some things we do together or share. I think that's the point of a marriage, actually. But for a year, she doesn't have the time. This certification is super important for her career and will make for huge quality of life improvements for both of us. In almost every way imaginable, I need to step up my game so that our home stays a home and not a squalid cave where two angry bipeds live. Therefore, I intend to spend 1 hour each day doing "stuff". I'm being deliberately vague here (a NerdFitness no-no) as each day will bring changing circumstances. Clean the kitchen, do the laundry, clean the bathrooms, tidy the bedroom, tidy up junk mail, the list goes on. I spend a lot of time at home on my computer, lost in my own little world. I can take some of that time and dedicate it the home that I share with the woman I love. I may not like the short term, but I can at least look at the long term and acknowledge that VAST improvements it will bring. And that about wraps it up. Embrace my inner henchman and let the mindless invulnerability keep the expendable at bay. Excelsior, my nerds!

Let's get one thing out there. I fucking hate Monopoly. And yet, sitting down with my friends to play a well made board game is the most fun I can conceive of. I'm taking a break from the epic quest of my last several challenge to have a little fun with my goals and get myself back in the game. As I posted at the end of my last challenge, my physical fitness has taken a back seat to my mental health. I feel sad about letting my fitness slide, but at the end of the day, I don't have any regrets about getting my head back on the right way around. This challenge is going to be themed around the ideas that I find that make modern board games fun. Have a plan and follow it <insert Scot joke here> No, I will not post pictures of me in my kilt. That's for the Highland Games. Come to Fergus. See the geek. The good board games require you to think at least a little bit. Even the really fast and simple ones give you a goal that you need to be aware of. Be the Sheep Baron. Buy all the Villages. Shoot the Sheriff. These simple, grokkable goals give the board game player something to focus and and engage them. And really, who doesn't have wood for sheep? My plan is to rebuild my push-up habit. I'm being groomed for 2nd dan "soon", which could mean anything from two months to a year from now. What that means is that I don't often participate in the general workouts during class, but instead work with the higher ranked black belts to refine techniques and practice my own stuff. Then the general class is teaching. I don't mind this as these techniques are not a walk in the park, physically speaking. But my callisthenics have suffered. I will do push-ups every day. Numbers have historically thrown me off, so my goal is just to do more today than I did yesterday. Not in a single set (that would be crazy), but if I do X push-ups today, then I must do X+1 tomorrow. Simple. Learn by doing This is not related to my goal in any way. It is just funny. There's a very interesting difference between Euro-games and North American designed games. So much so that board game enthusiasts attend design panels where game developers and retailers will have incredibly detailed conversations about those differences and what that means for consumers. The very, very short version is that North American games are designed to be explained in a newspaper or television ad and that Euro-games are designed to be explained in about 5 minutes, or while playing the first few turns. The implications of this are that North American games have a tendency towards shallow game play (Kerplunk, I'm looking at you) and Euro-games have depth that a player becomes more aware of the more that they play. And the fact is that I need to play more and learn that depth. That's my black belt techniques. I can be honest enough to say that I'm going to miss classes over the next six weeks. It's summer and that means my weekends are not my own (EXCEPT FOR NERDS, BITCHES!). I... I don't know where that came from. It must be finger-Tourette's. In order to keep up with my training, my Monday nights must be sacrosanct. Monday nights are the black belt classes. That is where I learn the most about the fine details that differentiate a black belt from the lower ranks. Don't miss a Monday night. That is all. Cooperation is victory Manatees are funny. Also, Dominion is awesome. There is an emerging trend of more games which force the players to work together against the mechanics of the game itself. Victory is rarely easy and relies on a combination of good communication, effective use of game mechanics and a little bit of luck. But when victory occurs, it is sweet indeed. And it took each and every person around the table with you. That moment is awesome. I have the privilege of teaching a lot in hapkido. It is the art I love and I love to share it with people. However, one of the things I need to work on is to embrace the opportunities I am given. There are some belts I just don't like teaching. Whether it's because the techniques are a little flat or they have things that I still find struggles with, I just don't have the enthusiasm for those small portions of the art. But my role as a teacher is to share the joy I have in my art and to encourage students to find the things that make them want to keep coming back. This is difficult to measure as it's as much a feeling as an actual concrete event. My goal is to embrace the teaching opportunities that come my way. We currently have a LOT of people orange belt and under. I am regularly teaching within that group. There are always things that students find frustrating in this period because, frankly, they don't have a complete understanding of what they're doing. After every class, I want to feel like I paid attention to that student right there in front of me and taught for their needs. More nerds is more awesome Get a good group of friends together for a board game night and tell me I'm wrong. Especially if you've got a stable of fun games that leave you telling stories for months afterwards. Nerds are awesome. There's this thing happening in Toronto where a bunch of nerds are coming to Toronto and I get to finally put faces to internet aliases. Maybe even learn some real names in the process. As a socially anxious nerd, like many of you, the prospect of all these new people scares the ever-loving crap out of me. Seriously. I'm putting this up on my challenge as a life goal despite the meet up happening halfway through the challenge. My anxiety and depression keep me from doing a lot of things. I will not allow it take this one away from me. I will post pictures of myself with Littlewings and Catspaw and any other nerds that I meet and show my brain who's boss. Me! That's who! And that's my productive morning, digging up links and writing out silly things. Rock on, my monk-y nerds. Rock on.

Whelp, it seems that I'm back. Y'all can thank littlewings for reaching out to me and reminding me that I used to stay on top of these "healthy" things. There's talk of a meetup here in the wilds of Canada and monks gotta represent. Soooo.... Main Quest I have a history of writing a ton of stuff about my challenge in prose and then little factoids of reality. I don't think I'm going to have the time and energy to do that. It's Monday already and I want this up before the end of the day. Basically, in my main quest, I've been trying to build myself into the heroic capability of one of the Solar Exalted. White Wolf scholars already know that these glorious bad-asses are shining demi-gods who shake the foundations of the world with their footsteps. Rebels with a long memory will remember that their ideal of perfection and excellence is my great goal. So, what now? This'll be my third challenge through this quest and, I have to say, things are not going super great. But I'm back and it's time to buckle down. I'm going to revamp my challenge goals to suit the individual Castes of the Solars. In light of the extremely niche appeal of the Exalted, I'm going to be light on media again. That makes me sad, as there's a lot of very impressive gifs flying around in the other challenges. This challenge will be about the Dawn Caste. They are the warrior-generals of the armies of heaven. Master tacticians and brilliant with any weapon they lay a hand to. To earn my Dawn Caste Exaltation, I will need to do this: Train like a warrior of heaven I live about an hour from my hapkido club. Historically, this has been a great challenge to me as my wife and I have only one car and I, having grown up in big cities for most of my life, never learned to drive. But I got my license, you guys! I can drive all by myself! Now I can take care of that transportation myself and get back into the habit of consistently going to class and, even more specifically, get to the black belt classes every Monday so that I can have the practice to earn my second degree black belt. Get to hapkido twice a week: 12 classes in total. +1 STR, +2 DEX, +1 STA We may also have bought a brand new Jetta that I am in love with and love to drive. Build the strength of heaven One of the fun things I discovered during my months of recuperation is that my joints have weakened to the point where I simply cannot physically tolerate the sharp snapping motions of repetitive striking AND lift heavy weights. That gives me a sad, but I want to build back up to that point. Striking is a pretty important part of hapkido, so I am doing a lot of it. I'm also training with a pair of guys who are preparing to grade for their red belt (our equivalent of brown) which involves throwing 1000 good kicks. So them joints are seeing the work. I want to keep up with that. That means punching and kicking the crap out of everything. 500 punches and 500 kicks each week: +1 STR, +2 DEX, +1 STA Guard the foundations of heaven Seems like everybody's paying attention to their calorie intake. I don't like to count calories because it drives me mad. What I do enjoy doing is monitor my food intake and keep the crap out. I found out last year that I have celiac disease, which forces me away from all the grains that are so very delicious but so very bad for me. This put my wife and I in the position where we were cooking every meal from scratch all the time. We haven't been too bad the past few months but one of the bad habits we developed was to keep snacks in the house. You know the kind I'm talking about. Salty, carby, sweet, creamy, delicious snacks. Grocery trips weren't complete without them. That business has got to stop. NO snacks 6 days a week. Easter is this weekend and if you try tell me that I don't get a cheat day to eat my aunt's gluten-free baking that she is making just for me then I will fight you. +2 CON, +1 WIS Life Goal A warrior (no, not these warriors) still needs to live in the world. It's not all roundhouse kicks and straight punches. If only. I'm not about to get into all the feels, but my wife and I have agreed to dedicate more time to each other. And we're even even both tracking it. So I'm putting it out here that I'm going to spend more time just for her and I to be together. 3 separate and for realz 1 hour chunks a week. That's 18 whole hours just with my wife! Madness! +2 CHA, +2 WIS And that's it! It's not even the end of Monday yet! -- x = 0.999... 10x = 9.999... 10x - x = 9.999... - 0.999... 9x = 9 x = 1 0.999... = 1

Solar Exaltation is for heroes. Those who look at the world and determine that it could be better and that they will take action. Men and women of conviction and purpose. These individuals can shake the foundations of Creation. In all of their cases, they are presented with their heroic opportunity and they rise to the occasion, standing for their beliefs with the power of the Sun exploding from their bodies. Many people face this opportunity. But some of them fail. Those who have heroic potential still choose to turn away from their destiny. It is too hard. They are frightened. They feel weak. It is in these moments that the Yozis smile. From these failed heroes they create the Chosen of Hell. The Infernal Exalted. Empowered by mad, mewling things, driven beyond the borders of Creation , the Infernal Exalts are twisted away from their human heritage and pushed to embrace the alien and demonic. They are joined, body and soul, with a demon of the First Circle, warping their minds and changing their bodies. They see the horrors of Malfeas, the chaos and destruction that is life in the Demon City, and they call it home. They stand, radiating the awful light of Ligier, the Green Sun, heroes of Hell and champions of the Yozi's cause. Creation must be poisoned and corrupted so far that there is no distinguishing it from Malfeas. When this occurs, their masters will be able to cross the boundary, free from their prison and wreak a terrible wrath upon all who have wronged them. With this terrible purpose, they return to Creation's shores, full of malice and a twisted power. What the Yozis have forgotten is that their servants, whom they have twisted as far as a human can go, were destined to be heroes. *** I know I said I wasn't going to join this challenge. I am still feeling very overwhelmed. I'm not even sure how I'll be able to do. But motivation comes from strange places sometimes. I felt, and still feel, a failure. But my goal has not yet changed. If you didn't see my last challenge, allow me to restate. To become worthy of a Solar Exaltation. Exalted fans among the crowd may start frothing at the mouth with all this talk of an Infernal Exaltation when my goal is to become worthy of a Solar Exaltation. Nerd scholars will admit that an Infernal Exaltation is merely a corrupted Solar Exaltation. 'Nuff said. Going deeper into the nerdery here, I feel more like the Infernal Exaltation better suits my mood, temperament and current mental state. My depression predisposes me to regard everything in my life as a failure. My job, my marriage, my status as a friend, my whole life. And this is even when I can logically stack up rather a large number of events that were overwhelmingly positive. So it's hard for me to look at the potential for heroic opportunity and not immediately think that I would turn away. That's when the Yozis begin their seductive temptation. So how will we do this? Well, the Yozis sure do have a lot to teach a budding Infernal. Tap into Malfeas' indestructible fury The Slayer Caste are the warrior-generals of Hell. Malfeas gives them rage and potency. They are unstoppable in battle. I must channel my energy into the fight. Go to 2 hapkido classes a week. Marked out of 12. +1 Strength, +2 Dexterity, +1 Stamina Follow the laws set down by Cecylene Cecylene's laws are not the laws of Creation. She decides almost on a whim what can and cannot be done within the Demon City. Despite her madness, her priests enforce all of her laws with an iron fist. One of those laws is a capacity for battle. Might makes right in Malfeas. So one must be ready for battle at all times. I will accomplish this by starting a stretching routine. I don't know any yoga, and my only access to yoga routines is though my wife's Wii Fit, but that's a start, right? Twice weekly. Marked out of 12. +2 Dexterity, +1 Stamina Live the unrelenting movement of Adorjan The Silent Wind never stops moving. And where she goes, all living things are silenced. Forever. Last challenge, I tried a push-up challenge. And while I failed at it, I found it valuable to be building the habit of doing something physical every day. Not strenuous or to make myself sweat like mad, but something. Do something physical every day. Marked out of 42. +1 Strength, +1 Stamina I've been here for a little while, so there's a life goal, too. Plumb the secret knowledge of She Who Lives in Her Name The Pyrian Flame knows of things that Creation cannot even fathom. When she shattered three of the spheres of her being against the walls of Malfeas, she destroyed concepts and ideas that even now cannot be known in Creation. Surely she would know a thing or two about an Infernal Exalt. I've started seeing a psychologist and I like how she approaches therapy. My schedule to see her is entirely in my control. And I need to make this consistent or I will never overcome my depression. And it's expensive, despite having coverage through my and my wife's benefits. So I am reluctant, even though it is necessary. See my psychologist 3 times over the challenge. +2 Wisdom, +1 Charisma And a non-workout-y fitness goal. Develop a secret plot worthy of the Ebon Dragon The Ebon Dragon has been plotting his escape since he first set foot in Malfeas. He has never succeeded, but it is in his nature to fail. This has not stopped him from executing cunning plans throughout the millenia, including that which placed fifty Solar Exaltations into the hands of the Yozis. For the Ebon Dragon, success is making a plan. I often plan what to eat an hour before I eat. Or when I'm at the grocery store. I cook breakfast and dinner, but I often don't have a schedule before I actually need it. I started working on this as a habit but life circumstances have knocked me right off the habit again. Make 2 meal plans each week. Planning for a whole week is too much. Marked out of 12. +2 Constitution, +1 WIsdom *** Now for the disclaimer. Everyone's support is great and I love all of you for it. But I am likely to be pretty quiet this time around. Physical activity is one of my soothing behaviours, so I'm definitely going to be trying to do this stuff. If I don't respond to your encouragement or comments, I guarantee that I'm not trying to be anti-social or ignorant. You guys inspire me, so I'm going to keep trying to fight the Infernal nature. Even those who have fallen can stand again. They might even be heroes.

"All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not." -Tyler Durden Main Quest: Live as the person I wish I was, becoming my own version of Tyler Durden. 1st Rule: You do not talk about Fight Club.2nd Rule: You DO NOT talk about Fight Club. Life Quest: I will not talk about my diet or this challenge to anyone except those involved. Yeah, I am one of those. When I first started losing weight a few years ago, I found telling everyone what I was trying to do helped keep me accountable and it really helped. Now it's become a hindrance to me because it seems like it's all I talk about and I've become annoying. I also tend to share too much and would like to teach myself to focus my conversations on the other person and not give so much away about myself. My Tyler Durden has fun figuring people out, is mysterious about herself and never tells all of her secrets. She doesn't talk about her accomplishments, rather letting people assume what they will. Grading: Pass or Fail +4 Cha (For not being "that" person.) 3rd Rule: If someone says "stop", goes limp or taps out the fight is over.4th Rule: Only two guys to a fight.5th Rule: One fight at a time. My Tyler Durden knows when to quit. She doesn't force herself to keep going when she needs rest and doesn't feel bad about it later. If something isn't working, she stops doing it in futility and tries something else. Her fight is with the loser Chrissa, nobody else. She does not compare herself to anyone but that loser inside that wants her to take the easy, lazy way, eat the junk food (Tyler is a food industry terrorist remember...Pee cake anyone?) and continue to get fat again. She doesn't need to measure and weight herself. The image in the mirror and the fit of her jeans is enough motivation for her. Goal #1: Eat like her. My inner Tyler doesn't care for sweets and junk food. Isn't a big fan of heavy carbs or starches. She hates having to track meals and spend too much time planning and preparing them. She keeps her plans simple, fast and sticks to a few basic meals to stay on track with the least amount of effort. She consumes the right foods instead of letting food consume her. The action plan is simple, I'm attempting to go low enough carb for keto 6 days a week. Eating 1600 calories/day that will mean 25 grams or less of net carbs, 95 grams of protein and around 124 grams of fat. The other day I will allow for up to 75 grams of carbs as a treat or "cheat" meal. This leaves very little room for snacking between meals (which my Tyler disdains) and works best for me if I eat breakfast late as possible, preferably after a good workout. Grading: At the end of the day it's pass or fail for staying within the above macronutrient limits. 1 Point for every pass so I need 42/42 to get a 100%. Wis +3 (for learning what works/perseverance), Cha +1 (for leaning up and being more confident) She tackles one fight at a time, one day at a time, one hour at a time. She doesn't try to do too much at once and doesn't waste time on anything that does not help her main goal. 6th Rule: No shirts, no shoes. Goal #2: Train like her. My Tyler trains hard. No shirts, no shoes? Hell yeah! She works out without a shirt so she can see just what she is trying to accomplish. We don't wear shoes at hapkido, and you better believe she will be there religiously. She stretches daily and does a warm-up of punches and kicks to start her day. Before breakfast (or she doesn't eat!). She practices her techniques often, walks, runs or bikes in favor of taking the car whenever able and does strength training 3 times/week with or without her husband. She doesn't do excuses. Grading: 1 point for every strength and hapkido session attended for a total of 30/30. If a class is cancelled it will be scaled down (29/29 and so on). +3 Str (obviously), +2 Sta (persistence) Bonus points for each full week of pre-breakfast stretching and warm-up. 7th Rule: Fights will go on as long as they have to.8th Rule: If this is your first night at Fight Club, you HAVE to fight. Goal #3: Act like her. My Tyler likes the feel of a good workout, would rather get sweaty and sore than sit around surfing the web for stuff she doesn't need. "We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like." She wants her blue belt and is pissed at loser Chrissa for dragging her heels. She tells Chrissa off in the mirror every morning. Daily. She gives that bitch shit and works herself up to prepare for her day. She's not perfect and she acknowledges that, but she knows what she wants and never gives up. She is playful, sexy and fun. Most importantly, she surrounds herself with people who she admires. She spends time with them and enjoys helping others. Grading: Pass or Fail, make at least 2 new friends who are a positive influence and spend time with them often. +2 Con. Bonus factor of being psyched up and just plain bad-ass for telling myself off every morning.

As promised, I am back for my second challenge and this time I'm coming into it a bit more prepared. Since my first challenge I have let myself continue to go back out of control and I am highly disappointed in myself for it. Because of my lack of vigilance I have begun to show signs of exposure to the deadly toxins of the "Standard North American Diet" or SNAD-virus. These signs include increased appetite and mindless eating, headaches, lethargy, acne, poor sleep, bloating, weight gain and digestion issues. My husband has also shown some of these symptoms as well as respiratory problems due to exposure. If treated immediately the effects are reversible but left unchecked, full infection is imminent. A 6-week Detoxification Protocol and Strength Training Regimen has been recommended for full recovery. Detoxification Protocol Dietary Restrictions: -Subject is to eat following the normal restrictions as outlined in the Paleo diet. -Subject is to limit consumption of caffeine, nuts, seeds, fruit and permissible dairy. -Subject is to follow the 6-week Operation Slim Down Meal Guide with minimal modification. Drink plenty of water to help flush the toxins from the body. Rest. Proper sleep is necessary for the body's recovery during the detoxification process. Failing to follow these recommendations will result in the failure to reverse the effects of exposure and possible full infection. Training Schedule Monday: Recreational Activity Tuesday: Dumbbell Division Workout Wednesday: Rest Thursday: Hapkido/ HIIT Friday: Dumbbell Division Workout Saturday: Rest Sunday: Dumbbell Division Workout Activities should include: frisbee, swimming, cycling, indoor wall climbing, kayaking and other activities designed to get the heart rate up while having fun. On rest days it is further recommended to remain active with stretching and moving frequently at a moderate pace. It is also a good time to practice combat techniques so that subject will be fit for battle once the healing process is complete. Subject is to report here on 07.28.13 at 20:00 for initial evaluation and every Sunday at the same time for re-evaluation. Main Quest: RecoveryFrom the articles I have read recently in desperation to regain control, my main problem seems to be leptin resistance. My main goal for the next six weeks will be getting my leptin back in order by taking the advice of this article. Now, we all know there's no underpants collecting here! I'll be taking action with the following missions: Eat 100% Paleo for the entire 6 weeks. It sounds hard but nothing worth doing is easy. I really want to make my main goal possible and this is the best fix there is. The primary reward for mission completion will be +5 Constitution. Do strength training 3 times a week. I've had dumbbells around for a while now and have yet to start using them seriously. I've mostly stuck to body weight exercises because of my familiarity with them. I've fallen off of my good workout habits in general and this is my way to level up training. Full completion of this mission will be rewarded with +4 Strength, +2 Stamina and +2 Agility. Keep a log. I know my logs are usually quite detailed and I tend not to leave anything out of them. I haven't logged anything since the last challenge ended and that's part of where I fell off the wagon. I am adopting Zuel's simple and clean logging style this time and forgoing the extra work of inputting everything I eat and do into MFP. I tend to obsess over macro nutrients and calories too much when I use that method and I am not very pleasant to be around when all my downtime is used up with the inputting and obsessing. Mission reward will be +2 Charisma for being less anal and more relaxed. Life Quest: Replace Retail Therapy with Recreation We have about $8000 in credit card debt to pay off before we can start saving for our first house and move out of the parent's basement. (Embarrassing at our age, I know.) I am very bad for using retail therapy when I am feeling down on myself or to fight boredom when I'm trying to keep my mind off of eating. Meanwhile, my reading list isn't getting any shorter and I have all these unfinished projects and ideas sitting around that would do just as well to keep me entertained while possibly even supplementing my income. I've been lazy here and going for the quick fix instead of taking the longer, more fulfilling path. As a side note my husband is also unhappy with the weight he's gained in the last few months and is going to be my silent partner for my challenge. He'll be attempting to go Paleo and join my strength training for the next 6 weeks with me. His added support will help keep me accountable and we tend to push each other harder when working together. With him as my wing-man, we will survive this outbreak and take some zombies down! Parameters set. Initiating program...

Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Chrissa and I have been lurking around the blog and e-mail lists since discovering the rebellion last September. Up until now, I mainly read Steve's posts and take what I can from them occasionally tossing out a comment here and there. Nerd Fitness has inspired me a lot over the last several months and I'm finally ready to step it up and take my place among my fellow rebels. I've never been very good at joining in but I believe this is going to be the most important challenge for me because it will teach me how to be a better part of a community. You see, I need help. Serious help. I am very bad at asking for help and I try to take on more than one person can handle all by myself. In Case of Emergency-Break Glass! I am wearing a glass mask that looks like a woman who has her shit together, but behind that mask I have become a fragile little panic monkey obsessed with trying to do too much. My husband and family are very supportive and realize the past few months I've been going through a really rough time. I'll get into the details more in future profile posts, but for now I think starting this challenge is the most important step. Needless to say, they aren't completely on board with my primal lifestyle changes. I don't have many friends and none of them are on board either. That's why I am here. My Goals: Increase my attack speed and aggression enough to test for my blue belt. I have been a hapkido student for the past 5 years and I'm really struggling right now. My blue belt is a big one because it marks the halfway point towards my black belt. My instructor told me that my technique is great but lacking in effectiveness because it is slow and I am not using my "ki." I need to somehow ignite my fighting spirit and learn to attack with more intent. I now plan on doing this by practicing my techniques with my eyes closed (or blindfolded) and using my ki-yies when doing them and during my kick workouts and really trying to feel the energy release Grading Scale: A = Attain Blue belt. B+ = Be ready to test for belt. B = Enlist the help of a higher belt to improve my practice or be complimented on my progress. C = Try new ways of practicing at home until finding one that works. D = Practice as usual with just the awareness of what I am doing wrong. F = Fail to practice at all. DEX +1, WIS +1 Stop stress eating and snacking between meals. I often find myself reaching for whatever food is on hand when under a lot of stress, which lately has been too often. Working in the food service industry doesn't help because I'm around food all day. I try to keep it to mainly veggies with a little meat but depending on stress levels I have caved in to eating junk. I also eat when I get idle time at work instead of relaxing and finding some release. At my worst (which thankfully doesn't happen as often) I end up caving into eating sugar or something that has MSG in it and it sets me off on an all-night full-on junk binge that leaves me feeling like garbage and hating myself. There are points during those times that I literally cannot stop eating no matter how full I feel and it's even made me consider forcing myself to vomit. Fortunately, I haven't hit the point to acting on it but it's been close and I found missing the next morning's breakfast helps get me back on track. Normally, I avoid my trigger foods at all costs knowing what they do to me but sometimes I just break. I often find myself envious of my husband because he can avoid whole meals when he's not hungry. I want to be more like him in that and I think this will be my starting point. I need to fix my hunger signals so for the next 6 weeks I will try not to snack at all between meals unless I need to refuel after an intense workout. One thing I plan on doing to help this is brush after every meal to signal to myself that eating is done. I find it helps when I do remember to do this. I've also resolved to not multi-task while eating and take my time to chew because I find myself in a hurry to eat all too often. Grading Scale: A = Succeed with brushing after every meal and only eating a snack as refuel after tough workouts. B = 1 slip up per week allowance. C = 2 slip ups per week. D = 3 slip ups in any given week. F = 4 or more slip ups in any given week. See my food diary here. My Instagram Profile for travel food pics. STA +1, WIS +1 Reduce my waist-to-hip ratio. I'm not quite sure yet what amount of reduction would be reasonable in the allotted time but any reduction at all would be a step in the right direction. Over the last few years I went from being a fat girl to being "skinny fat" and I have been stuck at it for far too long. Despite the above stress eating, I manage to eat 80% or more paleo and my diet is pretty clean. I've recently cut down on nuts and almost eliminated dairy completely with the exception of ghee and the occasional cheese. This past week I got back to tracking my meals on My Fitness Pal and am working on getting my portions down to where they should be. I know we're not supposed to count calories, and I tweaked the settings to reflect a paleo approach to macronutrients and I find it's helping. I intend to stop counting once I have my portions under control. I believe the root of my problem is more the stress. I used to be a lot more fun and I feel like I've forgotten how to enjoy myself. I don't remember the last time I LOL'd. I don't really get out there and play. I act friendly and outgoing at work all the time serving customers but I am not social enough. If it weren't for my hapkido classes I'd have almost no social interaction outside my family and bumping into people I know in the streets. I need to find that fun girl I used to be.This goal is now revised to be tracking my daily routine ala Seinfeld's Don't Break the Chain and not allowing for more than one slip-up per week. Grading Scale: A = No more than 1 break in any given week. B = 1 break every week. C = 2 breaks in any given week. D = 3 breaks in any given week. F = 4 or more breaks in any given week. See my tracking sheet here. STR +1, DEX +1, WIS +1 In Conclusion I know these goals need refining and I will likely be revising them after hearing your suggestions. I'm sorry for being so long-winded but as I said, I'm drowning here and I need your help. I've taken the first step towards the shore and I'm hoping to reach this island and become one of it's many active and contributing inhabitants. Starting Stats: Weight: 143.5 lbs Neck: 13.5 inches Waist: 32.5 inches Hips: 38 inches I apologize for the crappy cell phone pics, but it's what I have to work with at the moment. I'm sucking it up here and know they aren't flattering pictures but that's the point. I'm going all in.