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Kibcy's battle log version 3.0 Because Kibcy is that stupid human who can't win. But Kibcy is also that human who will NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER. So Kibcy is ready to give this another shot. I've restarted my SuperBetter profile again. (www.superbetter.com) I hope to use it to help battle my mental obstacles to a better life. I have no reasons, goals, or aims right now. I don't care much for a "where I'm now" or "where I'm going" type thing. To be completely honest, I don't care much for being healthy actually. What I care for is feeling good. I'm not feeling good. Not physically, not mentally, not anything. I'm not even sure why I'm even making this battle log. I guess I'm just looking for something to hold on to. Challenges? Yes they're fun. Only I can't do them. I will fail them. The pressure too high, the support too minimal. Then rather no pressure and no support. Unless you want to give support. Support is always welcomed. Let me talk about yesterday. Seeing as it's morning here, talking about today is futile at this point. Yesterday. Getting up was a problem. I was tired. I went about my routine and took my "always the same" breakfast of yoghurt and muesli. I went to work. I survived the 8 hours I'm required to be there. For lunch I had bread with chocolate sprinkles, a cup of milk, an apple, a banana and a pastry. I was still tired going back home. I was actually feeling "light-headed" and not quite right. Like I would just topple over and I couldn't feel better for whatever reason. I ate two "stroopwafels" on my way to my car. I parked my car down town of my home town, because I was going to the pharmacy. They were suppose to have my vitamins. Turned out they didn't. I left my phone number, they would call me. Then I went to the bakery and got food there. Then I went home. At home I ate the bakery goods. A pastry, cheese croissant and two buns (I put chocolate sprinkles on them). I did my laundry and I dealt with my cats for a bit, then started up the movie "The company you keep". At one point, after my will power was gone (I had used it to resist the urge for awhile already), I got up and poured down the remaining chocolate sprinkles in a small bowl. I grabbed a spoon and ate it. After the movie I took care of the cats and spend some time with them. After that I went to bed. Indeed I left nothing out. It's the full tale. It's depressing. It was depressing to live it. These little bits of story is what I plan to post. Maybe in a different format, but just... a tale of my life. Maybe not as detailed, but definitely this will be a log of my life. Hopefully we can see a positive trend as time goes on...