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Expectations of Self Challenges abound in this area of my life I call self-motivation, and they do so often without confrontation from me. That ends. It starts being different today. I'm not gonna lift 50 pounds more on the bench, if I don't show up. If I don't push hard when I am there. If I don't push, I will not progress. If I don't progress, I don't get where I WANT to go. Not letting myself get to where I want to go? That needs to end. DO IT NOW It's one of the first articles Steve wrote that really resonated with me. So, I'm pulling it out of the archives and dusting it off. Because doing has become harder than anything else. I have excuses. I have injuries. I have problems. I have... name it and it has or will happen in my life. But these stressors don't disappear after I'm at my goal weight and I'm trail running like a werewolf! There's no going around them or pretending that they don't affect me. If they didn't affect me, I wouldn't be disabled! That's the very definition I depended on to keep away from change and people. Yet, it's exactly what I hate, but I NEED to come to terms with it if I'm going to progress closer to what I want. There is no shame in being broken somehow. I didn't break me. I do, however, need to mend me. The darkness will always be close by. One or two mishaps or unfortunate happenings and I'm in that cloud of misery, hoping for miracles instead of searching for ways out. I have decades of experience and well-grooved habits in those clouds. I have little more than 3 years of life outside the clouds. I'm not going to be perfect any time soon, even if it were actually possible. I am as beautifully flawed as anyone else. If I can see their beauty in their mess, than there's hope I can do the same with me. And there's evidence already that I can see it and I am able to grow from it and succeed at things that I want in my life. I'm a level 14 Lycan Archer Scout. I have earned experience points, my STATS have improved, because I've been doing the work. I have stalled in the last 6 months. Okay, so what?! If I knock myself down for stalling, I'm just going back to that self-hating talk that keeps me from my joys in life. I am going to stall, my body will get to a place when it needs to find a non-moving equilibrium. It's what it needs to find the new status-quo. To understand that this is the new normal. This is what it feels like to be over 80 pounds lighter. This is what it feels like to be able to hike and run through the park just to get to the other side to get my car that I'm lending. If fact, I did that just this past Wednesday morning and then decided I didn't need the car at all. I did my errands and walked back. I was tired as fuck, but I was happy. I logged over 18,000 steps that day! I could not have done that 3 years ago. More so, I wouldn't have wanted to do it. Times they are a changin' I have had 6 months of no real progress in eating, exercising, and self care (minus the guitar!). It's time to talk to my body, make sure it sees and feels the present, in the moment, me and is ready to move on. That could take 1 ritual or 4, doesn't matter. It will happen and I will be moving toward my goals with a stronger sense of self and more energy and motivation to put toward the changes I want. Let's get to it then, shall we? Goal # 1 -- Water, Water, Water I expect myself to consume 8 cups of water each day. I will be satisfied with 6 cups for the first half of the challenge. I will be satisfied with 7 cups for the second half of the challenge. STAT bonus +2 STA and +1 CON (grading -- avg of 6 - 6.9 = C, avg. of 7 - 7.9 = B, avg of 8+ = A) Goal #2 -- COOK, COOK, COOK EDIT!!! Cook or prepare at home. These are decent foods, not candy/pizza, or all carbs! I expect to cook/prepare my own meals 3 times per day, six days a week. I will be satisfied with 1 meal per day for the first half of the challenge. I will be satisfied with 2 meals per day for the second half of the challenge. STAT bonus +2 CON and +1 STR (grading -- avg of 1 - 1.9 = C, avg. of 2 - 2.9 = B, avg of 3 = A) Goal #3 -- RUN, HIKE, WALK I expect to be active everyday for at least 45 minutes. I will be satisfied with 25 minutes for the first half of the challenge. I will be satisfied with 35 minutes for the second half of the challenge. STAT bonus +2 STR and +3 DEX (grading -- avg of 25 mins = C, avg. of 35 mins = B, avg of 45 mins = A) Goal #4 -- WASH, SCRUB, RINSE I expect to indulge in self care spa activities at least 4 times per week. I will be satisfied with 2 times for the first half of the challenge. I will be satisfied with 3 times for the second half of the challenge. STAT bonus +2 CHR (grading -- avg of 2 = C, avg. of 3 = B, avg of 4+ = A) Goal #5 -- TRACK, TRACK, TRACK I expect to track, in a spreadie, every item of food, every spa activity, every exercise, and every drop of water. I will be satisfied with 75% completion for the first half of the challenge. I will be satisfied with 85% completion for the second half of the challenge. STAT bonus +2 WIS (grading -- avg of 75% = C, avg. of 85% = B, avg of 100% = A) There we have it. Challenge number ?? ready to go!! Wish me luck, light a fire under my ass, and understand and support me as you always do. Thank you, NerdFitness. Theme:: RANDOM ACTS OF SILLINESS, WISE WORDS, and PUBLISHING PRIOR SUCCESSES Add as you like: gifs and pictures highly encouraged!