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So my backside is still killing me from how hard I've fallen off the band wagon starting in like, October. I had already lost a lot of consistency with my workouts before then but that's when my butt started being fused to the couch. I've been able to mostly avoid the "eat tons of crap" that comes with the holidays but between all this time off and the cold weather it seems I'm either staying with family(who DON'T workout..like ever) and lazing about with them, or snuggled up in my house trying to stay warm reading and/or binge watching Arrow and Flash..... unacceptable I haven't been walking or assassin training lately cause it's normally dark when I get home/get up and there's been some er...crimes against the female population in my neighborhood recently. (bastards ) I finally started working out a few times a week in my liv room as of a week and a half ago but still, I've lost a lot of my gains! ARGH! My push-up numbers are fairly pansy-ish and let's just not discuss pull-ups. So I'm trying to keep up the reboot and don't want to wait until the new challenge but I need motivation for un-fusing my bum from the bed/couch (which means taking my eyes off my kindle) and ideas on not being bored since normally my workouts were at the park - I have kind of contemplated working out to audio-books but didn't want to pay for a subscription for them if the stunk.... any ideas?

Rise of the Blerch Background: I used to be your normal, everyday kender. I was happy, carefree and I ended up with a large number of possessions in my pockets and I’m still not quite sure how they ended up there. Life was good. One day while I was exploring Krynn (my home world) I met a man named Steve who gave me a spelljammer spaceship and told me about new worlds to explore and how I could use my awesome to become more awesomer. I took the spelljammer and came across a wonderful lady robot who took me under her wing in the guild of Assassins. There, I learned the tricks and trade of being an assassin and I went on many adventures with my fellow guild members. I learned a lot and I will always be grateful for the support they have given me while I was learning. But I am a kender and wanderlust struck again. I went out adventuring on my own and that’s where trouble started. Without the protection of the guild, I was vulnerable to Belladonna’s minions. Belladonna is an afflicted kender whose fear has motivated her to take over Hylo and build up an army. She wanted me to be her general and to train her troops so eventually she could take over Northern Ergoth and join up with the Knights of Solomnia thereby earning respect for kender that we always deserved. Now, I’m all for respecting kender, but bitch be crey. Belladonna chased me all over the galaxy until I got into a fight with a zombie and lost. I was dead for sometime and though that was neat, it taught me a lot of things. One of them was that being dead was not fun. Eventually I turned myself back into a living, breathing kender but I was not the kender I used to be. My body was broken and weak and my spirit took quite a beating too. Belladonna found me and took care of me. She attempted to nurse me back to health and get me back to my old kender assassin self. Belladonna and I became fast friends. That is, until the Blerch. The Blerch: If you’re not familiar with the Blerch, I suggest you read this NSFW (swearing) comic in The Oatmeal that is simultaneously depressing and motivating. TL;DR The Blerch is a fat, blobby, gross thing that flies around your psyche trying to get you to sit on the sofa all day watching the entire series of Battlestar Galactica (new and old) while stuffing your face with week-old doughnuts. The Blerch doesn’t want you to be healthy. He is the one who tells you stop running at the 22nd mile. He’s the one who tells you that you’ll never do that pull up. He’s the one who tells you that pizza for breakfast for the fourth day in a row is just fine. He is not a nice guy. The Challenge Over the next four weeks, I will try my best to shake this Blerch guy. I will tell you the story of how he and I became best friends and how he led me to betray Belladonna, Hylo and myself. All the while, I will do little bits here and there to dig myself out of this hole I have found myself in. Hopefully this will get me ready to kick ass for the first official challenge of the year. I’m posting this here because this challenge does not run in the same timeline as the official challenge. This challenge will go slowly and it will go like this: Week 1: No desserts, light fun exercise that I enjoy and won’t put me off because it’s too hard. Week 2: No added sugar at all. Light, fun exercise with a little bit of weight training added in. Christmas is the exception because Christmas. But ONLY Christmas. Not Christmas Eve or Boxing Day. Week 3: No grains or added sugar. Light, fun exercise with weight training and running. Week 4: Complete primal diet. Light, fun exercise with weight training, running and a few body weight exercises added in. By the end of 28 days I should be used to the cold waters of the 6 week challenge and so it won’t be a shock when I begin I will most likely stick with it. I will have to update a little every day if just to keep myself accountable. If you would like to join me in this challenge, let me know. We can do this as a team. You can add your own little challenge items and we can support each other. Meanwhile, I will tell you the tale of the Rise of the Blerch...

Said I wasn't gonna do another challenge, ended up being a sucker anyway... you all knew I couldn't resist. And if you know me well enough, you'll also know I have always had this condition that I've had to deal with for a very long time... it's called laziness. And slowly but surely, it will be mastered. ... like I said, slowly. The Quest: Conquer laziness, gain strength! Stretch every morning, stretch 10-20 minutes, specifically legs Move go to the gym 5x/weekMonday, Wednesday, Friday: heavy (...or soon to be heavy) weightlifting, alternating days between lower/upper bodySunday, Thursday: cardioSome starting stats: (all 3x5)Benchpress: 30lbsShoulder press: 30lbsSquat: 45lbsDeadlift: 40lbs Refuel eat 3 healthy meals a daylow in refined carbs, nothing too different, I'll still be eating potatoes and rice sometimes, and the occasional treat. Focus (life goal) improve my GPA as best as I cando the required work, dammit, without procrastinating. I've got every single assignment due this semester written out on a calendar... I got this. Starting GPA: 70.19% Side-Quests: memorize hand-wrappingperfect roundhouse kick on my own (I'm not joining Muay Thai at school... there was no free trial class and no guarantee of a full refund back. When I visit home though, I'll be doing a couple drop-in classes to keep in touch with it)call home once a weekdon't take any cash to school (can't spend it on food if I don't have it, and campus doesn't take debit cards)clean out photos/files off of phone and organize on computervacuum my room twice this challengespend an average of 45$/week on groceries This is the simplest, (almost said laziest) challenge I've written out so far and it feels really weird. But minimalist is good, so let's roll with it!

I love my family, but they are some of the laziest people I've known. I really want them to get in shape and get better habits, and not waste everyday in front of the t.v., computer, or Nook. I've already resigned myself to the fact that my mom and dad won't be getting out of their rut, but I at least have a chance with my sister. I'm more worried about her anyways, she has gotten a lot bigger compared to what she looked like when she went to college. And since she has Bronchitis, I've already noticed her struggling with breathing. The pants she wears when we go out are way to tight for her, which she tries to hide it with baggy shirts. Everyday she sits at her desk or on her bed on her computer. She sleeps in late, sometimes till 2 p.m.! And when she eats it's loaded with carbs. Her favorite meal is two ramen packets, with three pieces of bread. And I've caught her raiding the fridge late at night. She also doesn't drink water, only soda, or Crystal Light lemonade (which she claims is just sweetened water, I don't think it is when you put half a packet in one quart jar!). She at one time joined me on eating clean but didn't last two days. And she DVR some Yoga and a Power Sculpting program but never does it. I've tried getting her to join me on walks, but she always says it's either to hot or she's to tired. Anyone have any advice?