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  1. I've been away from NF for so long. I really needed to sort myself out. Don't get me wrong: I love you guys and I have missed you <3 I used to be with the Druids, but it's time for me to step out of my shell, and become what I truely am: An Assassin I always sorted my challenges in diet, fitness and life. I think I'll stick to those cathegories once more. I will tell you where I started, what I've realized in the last months I've been away and what I'm planning on doing this challenge. Diet Diet culture is a lie. I've been on diets since I was 8, and I'm still overweight (yes, that rhymes :p ). I've been trying and trying, before NF, during my time on NF. All it led me to do is enter the diet/binge cycle. Basically I didn't like what I saw in the mirror/on the scale. Decided on going on a diet, searching the interwebs for the latest craze. Ended up only eating fruit and veg. Not eating at all for two days straight. Going as low as 1200 kcal a day (my TDEE is around 2300 to give you an idea), or even just 500. I've put my body through so much, and to what end? Than I felt really bad (obviously), I got digestive issues, felt really weak, didn't sleep well, got cranky and all other kinds of weird (and sometimes gross) side effects of those diets. So I ended the diet and my body grabbed this opportunity to let me binge ALL THE THINGS. The more processed the better. I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought I wasn't strong enough, so I tried again and again. I started to realize this a few months ago and hopped on the Intuitive Eating wagon. Which ended to be a diet too, ending in binges. Although it took so much longer before the binge started. After a lot of soul searching, reading books and watching youtube video's I came to the conclusion that diet culture is a lie. A big nasty lie to sell stuff to desperate people. Whether it be books or supplements or to gain add income. I decided not to fall for it anymore. Also I came to the conclusion that there is nothing wrong with me. My body is doing what it's supposed to do: binges after restrictions are normal. And during those binges I ate mostly processed foods. I also realized that I needed to learn to really listen to my body. And processed foods are not going to help me with that. It's like learning an instrument while the whole orchestra is already playing. Eventually I'll be able to hear myself through all the other noise, but I need to learn to listen to my own sound first. So that means: focus on whole foods. Really notice how they make me feel. And not all whole foods are going to make me feel good (eggs are still a no, as they trigger a mild allergic reaction for example). Processed foods once in a while are totally okay, but I do need to realize that they will f*ck with my hunger cues and listen extra carefully during that. Fitness A workout doesn't count if it takes less than 45 minutes and doesn't leave me sore and sweaty, right? WRONG! Feeling sore and extremely tired after each workout is not okay. Off course, if you just start a new routine, some soreness is to be expected, but it shouldn't last. I was training way too hard, too long. And as a result I was so sore and tired I didn't want to workout anymore. And some days I won't feel all energized and ready to crush those weights. It's okay to do a lighter workout during those days. It's okay not to go to the max every single time. So I bought myself a starter workout program. It's simple, fast and doesn't leave me feeling dead in the end. I'm still able to do all my stuff during they day. And now I'm actually looking forward to working out. How about that? I also dance twice a week for two hours, and used to feel so guilty when I missed an evening. But I started looking around during dance class, and most people there don't make it every class (except for a few really hard core galls). I don't strive to be an excellent dancer, I don't want to perform every chance I got. I just want to have fun. And if that means skipping a class, or going for one hour instead of two, that's okay. So this challenge I'll continue te starter workout program (about 20-30 minutes 4 times a day, at home), and go dancing to have fun and for no other reason! Life I want to be more productive. Get more done, be more awesome. But every time I expand my todo list, try to get more done I retreat in a corner of the internet only to come out when I HAVE TO do stuff. So here too: I have to me more gentle towards myself. My goal for this challenge: get on top of housekeeping again. My business is running smoothly, my boys are doing great. This is the only thing that keeps falling through the cracks. Whenever I'm falling behind, my go to is laundry. It's like the stepping stone to all other chores. So I'm going to do a load of laundry every day, including folding and putting it away.
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