Search the Community

I'm Back!!! Wow, has it really been a couple years since I've been here?!? So much oddness has gone on in the time since we all last were together. Ups, downs, lots of things going sideways but every so often you need to revisit things that have worked in the past. At least until I figure out exactly how everything is going to go with this, it's best to start with what I've got planned and what I want to do. Why didn't I just stay in the car?! Over the course of 2018 I had run my life with one New Year's Resolution: to be at least 12 lbs lighter than I was when I started the year. Jan 1 2018 I was 336.2... when I started this year I was at 322 even, a total loss of 14.2 lbs! That was exciting because I was able to keep up that goal for the entire year and keep it. My overall goal right now for 2019 is to do the same, be 12 pounds lighter at the end of the year to bring me to 310 while working on getting myself down to a more personally acceptable weight. With this respawn point I think it's time to actually start this year's weight loss with doing some actual work (somehow I lost the 14 pounds by shear luck/minor motivation/Pokemon Go/less snacking). Let's get down to some action! Goal 1: Caliber vs. Momentum Since I've just been lollygagging my way through 2018 I really didn't get to doing much activity-wise except for the few weeks both prior to and post moving back to my old stomping grounds in Metro Detroit. Minus the occasional walk at the local park with our dog (well, former dog ) I didn't really do all too much to work my body over the year. Time to change all that. Whether it be homebound or at the workout center in my complex (yeah, have one of those, NEVER used it) I need to get moving a minimum of twice a week. Yes, I could push myself to doing more but let's start simply and realistically. Goal 2: Caliber vs. the Kung Pao Chicken Food!! The great and glorious.... mixed blessing. We all need fuel to keep ourselves going but with the varieties that are out there it's sometimes (LOTS of times) difficult to keep myself on the straight and narrow. With a direct plan of finding, getting together and trying one new meal a week is a goal that will help me hone my cooking skills again (as long as I can stop burning Eggs in a Basket) Goal 3: Calibre vs. the Money Pit DEBT!!! Why does it always have to be debt?! Snakes, debt, same thing Dr. Jones! They are both mean, deadly and tend to bite you right on the backside when you're not looking. So, minor thing and this'll take more time that just one challenge but it'll be to do things that will help improve my credit score as well as reduce my overall debt. The start of this challenge will be great for this for several reasons that are occurring now. More on that later!

I am going to continue with my theme of very minimal challenges while I re-figure out where I am in life. Things just feel different these days and it’s not like, bad different but it IS different and different requires slowing down and assessing and adjusting. GOAAAAALS CORE EVERY DAY - I think this one is pretty self explanatory! I plan to do at least some core work every day (this can be as minimal as doing a plank for 30 seconds/ but can be much more!) February Cut - I am SO FREAKING CLOSE to being rid of excess chubs. It’s been a suuuuuuuuuper gradual loss over like 3 years or so which is good and all but dude I want this excess belly chub gone like now. I’m planning to do a slightly more aggressive and intentional cut for the month of February. Currently I am tracking calories and I may keep doing but we shall see; I may shift to instinctive eating and shooting for feeling slightly hungry at all times. In general I am shooting for 2k calories per day (when I was tracking previously I was doing 2300 for maintenance which had me losing slightly already. I really would like to get BMR and a DEXA scan sometime for more accurate numbers but going with what has been working for now! There IS a place in LA that does both but the BMR one you have to not workout for 12 hours or something and then you can’t have caffeine for at least 6 hours and just..I dunno. NO COFFEE IN THE MORNING?! WHY?!?! Hahahaha.) Life balance/ DONT YOU DARE OVERBOOK - Check in on stress level once per week and cut things from my schedule (or add!) if I need it. Life goal things - go places alone at least 1x per week. I want to spend more time out and about along to give myself more chances to possibly run into a guy I would want to date someday. I am kind of a cheater in that I already signed up for a beginner improv class I have to go to alone down in LA every week, but I would like to add side adventures before or after said class and I also want to try to do some local alone in public time things too. Most of my current hobbies here are very lady centric and/or just sassy gay boys for the most part (dance and aerial) or are me hanging out with people I already know and know I don’t want to date and while I LOVE THESE THINGS I would like to meet someone I want to date eventually. And I F-ING HATE ONLINE DATING HATE HATE — like, I can make a conversation with almost anyone and just seeing a picture of people doesn’t tell me if I’d actually have any chemistry in person and just NOPE not my jam. Also, I used to do more things alone but rather by accident I have companions along for most everything I do these days! I need to plan intentional not with other people time! I've decided to cut this goal for this round since my not overbooking goal is directly conflicting with this one!

Ummmmmm ..... sooooooo ..... last challenge is over??? I kinda lost 11 days there while I was away, aaaaaaaand forgot that challenge was one of the reasons I was keeping (slack ass as it were) contact with my friends. This cycle looks to be little better galavanting-wize. I'm theoretically off to Abu Dhabi next week (leave it to DH's job to approve travel at the very last minute possible), and Challenge ends the day after I get back from DH's first real vacation since the move - in Sri Lanka. So. Probably won't be starting any lofty fitness plans this cycle. Will continue to Keto to the best of my abilities. Hoping to post a 'what i eat in a day' video this month ... super meant to for all my keto newb friends last month but flaked. Will continue to take pupper for her walks as long as the weather holds out. Will continue with my socialization so I don't goes crazy. Will continue to keep minimalism in mind as I spend more time than I'd like cruising the malls. Will continue to do what I can to try and yank DH out of his self pity/adjusting to a new location spin. Will formulate a plan that is going to cost a little money and not be as convenient as I want it to be re: fitness going forward. I'm going to have to compromise and I DON'T WANT TO. But, self-motivation is absolutely not happening if this past ... ummmm ... year? Two years? has taught me anything. I don't has it without that carrot of race bling to dangle in front of myself. I'm currently trying to wrap my brain around committing 4 weeks to a personal trainer - and paying for that. Don't Wanna. Friends Love Him. He Will Come To My Building. WHINE. NOPE, STILL WHINING. CONTINUED WHINING

IM BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. I can't believe it's really only been a month or so. SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED. Do you ever have one of those times where it feels like your life has significantly changed in some way even though it hasn't been that long and on the surface things are more or less the same? Yeah..having one of those times! I guess a really stressful year ending with a trial of LITERAL FIRE and then my cat randomly dying is the sort of stuff that changes a person? Oh, life! I am pretty happy with where things are as far as exercise stuff so my only specific exercise related goal is going to be FLEXIBILITY! I am fairly flexible just because aerial and dance both tend to include some flexibility work but I don't spend any dedicated stretching time and I'd really like to. For other things I am currently doing aerial once a week, lifting/rings training with trainer once a week, and at least one more day of wacky bodyweight at home. I want to get back to running and walking more as well but the air is still a little smoky so I hesitate to do anything to increase need to breathe while outdoors! ANYWHO! Goals! Goal 1 - Life Balance: Time has shown I am really good at overbooking myself and I need to not do that! Here are some small goals to try and keep me reeled in: A. LAZY SUNDAY in full effect for month of January (don't you dare make Sunday plans, self!!) B. Lazy weekday evening - at least one evening during the week without plans or a class . This will likely be Wednesday evenings but flexible if something comes up c. Assess Stress Level Once per week - I need to consciously assess how I am feeling about life to determine if I am overdoing it. Lets say this shall currently be something to think about on Sundays since I am making that a designated rest day! Goal 2 - Flexibility: Spend at least 10 min a day stretching (this can be throughout the day or all at once if I forget.) I'd like to get to where I can clasp my hands behind my back again which I haven't been able to do in YEAAAARS. And this has the very practical application that it will help me with keeping sunscreen on my giant tattoo that is now faded way more than I'd like because of negligence with SPF. Goal 3 - Declutter: Overall goal is to remove all excess clothes and random stuff from my floor by the end of this challenge. In practical application I will shoot for at least 30 min a week of declutter work, or alternately make sure I do at least ONE thing per day to work towards this. (If I put a clothing item a day into a to donate bag that's a lot of clothes not on my floor!) This is all for now...I AM pondering adding a lipstick goal since I still never wear any of my collection and this worked for me to get myself actually using eyeshadow. Maybe I will wait until February/ give myself an easy round this time though!!

SOOOOO I was on a grand adventure on the East Coast when this started so I am still trying to figure out what the heck I am doing for this challenge. I will probably tweak this a bit as we go but my main goal here is: LIFE BALANCE- Make sure I have at least one free evening per week and one weekend day where I have at least 4 hours straight of down time. This..might be a challenge and will be not doable on the week when my show opens buuuut otherwise should be doable! Now to think up a few small measurable goals to complement! Also ...uh... I maybe just agreed to do a second and possibly third show that is going to be overlapping with my rehearsals for the play I'm doing (but the dance we are doing for the one is ALSO going to be in the other if we end up getting that one... director switch drama. Anyway!) Because I am terrible but also because I LOVE DANCING AND I CANT PASS UP A DANCE SHOW. I'm basically going to make half the dance rehearsals for now then transition to making all rehearsal once my play opens in mid-October! + New goal- Drink more water!!! - I realize I've gotten worse about my water drinking since being on vacation. (I was trying not to drink hoards because access to a public bathroom isn't always available every minute when wandering around doing tourist stuff! And also I hate having to get up to go to the bathoom a ton of times on flights if I can avoid it!) My goal is to: drink 3, 16 oz glasses of water (or about 6 cups of water) at minimum per day. I've been particularly terrible about this on work days, so my specific mini goal for weekdays is to finish my water cup I have on my desk at least once in the morning and once in the afternoon.

This challenge is pretty much just a continuation of my last one; the main difference this time is that I am going to create a checklist to keep up with things, like I used to do. Sleep Rules: melatonin at 11pm; sit in dim light until sleepy (no screens!)bright lights at 9 am. No laying around in bed. Hydration! Keep up the 150 oz/day Exercise: 2x/week of SOMETHING no matter what. Week 2 will be something of a reboot.... Do at least 1 thing on the TO DO list daily. It's really not that long anymore. Just gotta keep pounding. I'm going to continue my rotating schedule of introspective mediation, spiritual reading, and relaxation time, now with CHECKLIST.

So, after losing pretty much all progress over the holidays, I spent last challenge slowly trying to get myself back on track. Some things are in maintenance mode: I'm not currently tracking calories, but I have enough of a general sense of how much I'm eating that I seem to be sticking close to 2000 calories a day, most days, which is about right. I'm not weighing myself right now, because I don't want to stress out about it. On the other hand, there are some things that need immediate attention: my wildly fluctuating sleep schedule, staying hydrated, and trying to start working out again. I established some rules for my sleep hygiene during the last challenge, but I wasn't entirely good about sticking to them. I've decided that the absolutely most important thing is to try to get my circadian rhythm to properly regulate itself, since its... issues... are the source of my sleep difficulties. Now, I'm attempting this on my own, at this point, without the guidance of a sleep doctor. If I fail to see any improvement, I might eventually see a specialist and see if they can help me. For now, my plan is to take melatonin at the same time every night (11 pm) and turn on bright lights when I wake up in the morning (8:30ish). I did fairly well with taking the melatonin on time during the last challenge, and after a few weeks I noticed that I actually start getting tired on my own around that time, now. Waking up at the right time is still a challenge. I'm not sure why, but I tend to really struggle with staying adequately hydrated. It's mostly in the summers and winters; I think the winter cause is dryness from heaters. I'm seriously considering buying a humidifier, which would probably help. Last challenge, I made it a point to drink 128 oz of liquid per day, which I did, but I'm still feeling slightly dehydrated most of the time. So this time, I'm bumping it up to 150 oz/day. Yes, that is a lot of liquid. (I do include caffeinated beverages, like diet soda and coffee, but mostly it's water and some gatorade.) I really need to get back to exercising. I think I "exercised" (to use the term loosely) 2-3 times last month. My goal for this challenge is just to exercise in some capacity 2 times per week. Walking, stretching, lifting... it doesn't matter. If it gets my blood pumping or stretches out my muscles, it counts. Those are my 3 health-based quests, but I have two "life quests". One is simply to do at least one thing on my To Do list every day, because having a big to do list that never seems to go down makes me feel stressed. When I'm stressed, I tend to avoid the thing that is stressing me out... which means the list gets even longer. There aren't all THAT many things on the list, so I think that by the end of this month, I should be in a much better place in regards to the list. The second thing I want to work on is making time in my schedule for my mental and spiritual health. (Thus the title.) I'm going to attempt a rotating schedule of introspective mediation, spiritual reading, and relaxation time. Hopefully I'll be doing a few story-based posts this time, too! :3

New challenge, not so new goals... But hey, constant dripping wears away the stone. Last challenge I was somewhat impaired because a nasty virus sent me adrift between bed and sofa, leaving occasional clear days for work and bare necessities. But I do not wish to complain. Selfcare was big, and it helped. I managed to set myself straight again with Paleo, which helped a lot, too. Mindfulness is difficult when your brain feels like a chloroformed cottonball, but then … here's to the February challenge! By the way, it is a leap year, and February has 29 days. 29 beautiful days to make the best out of. So, what will I do? Basically, resume where I left off. #1 Keep it Paleo, maybe a bit more low carb, since I found out that I feel better getting my energy NOT from carbs. #2 Yoga. Doing it on a regular basis has the power of giving me back some flexibility, it brings actually peace to my mind and I enjoy it. #3 Life balance. Work has still a way too big say in my life. There are other important things, too, which are necessary to make a person feel complete and happy and sane. #4 Working on mindfulness, every day with everything I do. Perseverance will make it happen, I hope. #5 Take decluttering to a new level. My desk works best for me with minimalistic equipment. Free myself of the unnecessary. Oh, and be more regular in poking my head in fellow nerds' threads! I am back. (imitating Arnold Schwarzenegger accent) Life is worth living. This is not just a phrase.

Well, I'm a week late, but I'm here! I think that, since I'm only going to have 3 weeks in this challenge, I should probably try to focus on one habit per week. The first thing I need to do is fix my sleep schedule. Healthy sleep is always a struggle for me, but it's been particularly bad lately. I recently found out about delayed sleep phase syndrome, which I am preeettyyy sure is the cause of my recurring insomnia. Upon learning about it, and learning about how certain bad habits of mine were making it worse, I promptly... starting doing those habits even more. ._. Not on purpose, but it's definitely getting bad. I'm falling asleep around 5 am right now, and waking up around 2 pm. And I have work at 9 tomorrow. This is going to be a problem. Week 1: Fix the Sleep Schedule Since there's a mechanism in my body that naturally causes me to go to bed later and later, I need to constantly struggle against that. As far as I can tell, my "natural bedtime" shifts back by 1-2 hours every night. As in, if I go to bed at 10 pm one night, my body wants sleep at midnight the next. I can mitigate the effects somewhat by making myself go to bed at the same time every night, and taking sleep aids to help me fall asleep before my body is naturally tired. If I let myself stay up until I get tired (like I've been doing this week), then it quickly gets out of hand. One thing that I've been doing that has made things much worse is that I take a melatonin every night. Normally, I just take it right before I'm ready to go to sleep... which means it tends to be an hour or two later each night. This is just reinforcing the shifting sleep schedule. Melatonin acts as an indicator to the brain that "it's time to start getting sleepy." I can't seem to get my brain to settle without taking it. (I am aware that this is a Bad Thing.) I think that if I take the melatonin at the same time every night, that should go a long way to helping my body adjust to having a regular bedtime. Another thing that I've been bad about is sleeping in in the mornings. Since I work from home, I can get away with just turning on my work computer when the alarm goes off, and then dozing for an hour or two in dim light until I'm really awake and ready to start working. This isn't a good habit, though, because bright light first thing in the morning has very much the same effect in reverse as melatonin at night. (Melatonin is naturally produced when you're in a dark place, but part of my problem is that I don't seem to produce enough on my own.) If I expose myself to bright light at the same time every morning, that should also help retrain my brain to have a set sleep schedule. Tonight, I'm probably going to have to take a sleeping pill so I can fall asleep at a reasonable hour. Then I need to start turning on all the lights and letting in sunlight (if there is any) when I first wake up in the morning. I also need to decide on a time to take melatonin every night. I want to wake up at 8:30, and I want 9 hours of sleep per night, and it takes about half an hour for the melatonin to produce the desired effects (I get sleepy). So, I should take my melatonin at 11:00 every night.

Continuing the war against my quarter life/existential-y type crisis thing. My success last challenge resulted in a not so anxious Hermy. Life... might be okay. All might not be lost. Next battle! Onward! Goal 1: Volunteer Last challenge I had a really hard time finding anything to do that fit with my schedule. Goal is keep looking - pick something - do as much as possible. Grading: Subjective, up to 4 points - split between WIS and CHA. Goal 2: Socialize I did really well with this last challenge, but my first instinct is still to hermit. Goal is get out there an be social but not let this monopolize my free time (see goal 1). Areas of concentration/priorities: - NF meetups - Hang with friends - Meetup dot com gathering(s) Grading: 3 points possible - 1 point for every 2 friendly like activities - applied to CON. Goal 3: Eat I'm in a really weird/not good head space regarding diet right now. That kind of happens when I cut or restrict pretty much anything for too long. I need to step back and evaluate - focus on figuring out where the "too long" line is. Reset self and sanity, then attack with new plan. Actual goal is to Eat. The. Food. Do not intentionally restrict. Do not go crazy either. Just try to remember not to eat like an asshole most of the time. Goal: Don't eat like an asshole. Eat enough to fuel the workout. Don't let the guilt of eating mess with the head. Grading: Subjective up to 2 points applied to CON and/or WIS Goal 4: Lift Heavy, Run Far Last year at this time I fractured my foot - some may recall that fun. Before the fracture, my aerobic and endurance base was pretty damn good. Since the healing of the fracture, it's pretty much gone (use it or lose it, guys). I've had a hankering for some running (no, seriously, I don't even know who I am) and decided to do Couch to 5K as an easy-ish program that will force me out for runs (as opposed to me just saying, "Hey, I'll do some runnin'"). So, new workout plan is roughly: Sun - run Mon - rest Tues - lift Wed - run Thurs- lift Fri - run/yoga Sat - lift (and you see why I need to EAT) Goal A: JDTFPBLTMB - follow all my programming (lifting and over all fitness) but listen to my body - if it gets too much, scale back, take a day, whatever I need. Goal B: Add 10 pounds to my squat (had to drop the weight to get used to HB again, so time to rebuild). Run. Goal C: Recovery - Get to sleep on time, no matter how good my book is. Take at least 1 epsom soak per week. SMR my ass off (my quads are taking quite the beating with the squats and running) Grading: Goal A - 1 point - pass or fail, applied to WIS. Goal B - 1 point for every 5 pounds added up to 2 points, applied to STR, 1 point for the running, applied to DEX. Goal C - 2 points, subjective, applied to CON

I'm really, really lucky. Just wanted to get that out of the way, because what follows might sound a little bit like these first world problems. I assure you madam (or gent), that is not the case. I love being on the go. I can't stop thinking about that next hill, challenge, or awesome experience. Cliched enough as it is: life is short. The thought keeps me up at night and what compels me out of bed every morning. It's what drives me to say yes in fear of missing out. As awesome as that sounds, I've been feeling like this little guy as of late: I've said yes to too many things at once. It used to be that personal health would be the first thing to go in times of stress, but now with three past challenges under my belt, I've fortified myself against slipping and losing all of that progress. Which is great - except I'm bloody tired most nights and don't become particularly refreshed after weekends or vacations. Main Quest: Path To Greater Stamina, Everywhere It's time to strike another balance between my newfound enjoyment for exercise and the other facets of my life. Time is our shortest and most precious commodity. I'm trying become more selective without giving offence - coming up with different strategies of saying 'no' that doesn't leave the other party in the gutter or without options. Goal 1: Downsize Without Sacrificing Happiness (+5 CHA) Get used to saying 'no' to something on a frequent basis. Come up with different strategies on how to say no without offending. Prioritize what matters to me, and work towards those goals. Write it down. Goal 2: Find Better Efficiencies (+3 DEX, +2 WIS) Stop procrastinating. Identify one new area of blockage on a weekly basis and come up with personal deadlines to get things done. Goal 3: Bring On The Zen (+5 WIS) Block out one weeknight for an appointment with myself, and do something meaningful to recharge during that time. MotivationTo stop chewing my nails as a way of coping with stress.To take time out for people who matter most to me.To live in the moment instead of thinking about the next. The challenges above sound deceptively simple, and I think that's the whole point. I'll be maintaining all of my previous challenges (cardio, BW, working with personal trainer, eating well, stretching), so this is one additional layer of mindfulness on top. Instead of measuring myself up to a certain standard, or against the achievements of others, it's time to go flow.