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I'm new to running. I always thought I couldn't, but this time when I started training for a 5k I really loved running... it was different than before. I just started going around the block and felt so empowered when I could do it! Then I worked up to a mile, then two miles. I did pretty good up hill, had good form, good cadence, getting faster. I had so many wins in my first 2 months. Some days are better than others. I now follow a 5k routine on my Garmin Vivioactive to prepare for my race. I'm a completionist, so I really like being able to check off those runs and I want to finish what I started. I also really like getting my NF Academy workout routines every other day. Anyway, the other day I was supposed to go a new distance, 2.5 miles and for some reason I couldn't muster the will to keep running after 1.5 miles. I ended up walking a lot of the last mile. Psychologically I felt very defeated, and it negatively affected my whole day. Today I had scheduled for 2 miles. That's a comfortable distance for me now. I was excited about it--getting rid of the funk of the last failure with a fresh success. But then when I got out I barely made it out of the house before I was mentally defeated... "I should run tonight instead" my mind said and I believed it. Through this journey I've found running to be mostly a mental battle. Focus, imagery and mantras that I make up keep me going. And when I do, it's so empowering, like I can do anything. But this wall is totally mental. How do I smash through the doubt and get back on path? Just go. Go now. Go and keep going. Just like last week. Why can't I?

The months flow by Myrik and the Rascals pull off several runs flawlessly. They begin to attract the attention of The Great Dragon Hestaby. Hestaby needs a smaller lesser known group to move against Lofwyr’s Saeder-Krupp holdings in Los Angeles. Grinder calls the team to the hanger. “Okay guys this is going to be a dangerous run but very lucrative. Hestaby has graciously advanced us half of the agreed upon fee. She wants us to infiltrate what she believes to be a holding of Saeder-Krupp, Angelic Entertainment. She wants us to infiltrate their main office and find proof that they report to Saeder-Krupp.” The team prepared for the run, getting SINS for PCC and setting up a safe house in Los Angeles’s Downtown, as well as a pass to enter LA’s prestigious Studio City where Angelic Entertainments offices and studios are located. “Okay Myrik and Shade you two are going to Angelic’s party tonight to celebrate the launch of their new SimSense line. Once inside the office we need you to place several small sonar and radar device.” “Any places we need to focus on boss?” Myrik asks. “Main hall, entryway and anywhere you can safely get without blowing your cover we will need your SINS to get into Studio City tomorrow night for the run. Drone have you got the modification to the car done?” “Yes boss 4 unscanable and nearly undetectable compartments for the ground team” Good, Glitch how goes the matrix runs against them?” “Not good to be honest, for a small entertainment company they have some serious firepower in their servers, several Black IC that all have tracer IC piggy backing on them. I can take out the Black IC without much issue but there is evidence of an Otaku or Technomancer on their system. I tripped an alarm and within seconds a persona popped up and started after me. I was able to slow them down and get out before being traced but if the ground team or I trip an alarm I won’t be able to offer matrix cover and it will be all hands on.” “Luckily Myrik was able to procure a breacher rifle” quips Havok Goal I: Strength Pick a 3 workouts from the Monkii app and do them every week. (I'll list me 3 picks here when i pick them) Goal II: Endurance End of November is a family vacation so I need to increase my endurance and start doing family walks getting the kids ready for 12+ hour days on our feet walking and standing around. Also need to start running again because I plan on running a virtual 5K for Christmas (Jingle all the K's) Goal III: Mental Destiny 2 comes out on the PC Tuesday and I plan on getting my clan ready for raids Need to finish American Gods Get my table top group back together and finish or start a new campaign.

I am so, so happy and glad to be back... a whole week without my dear NF friends, a whole week with less than frequent whatsapps, but a whole lot of Good, Bad, Ugly The Good The boys and I had a wonderful time at my mil's place! We loved spending the first two days surrounded by wild animals. I'll add pictures throughout the rest of what remains of this challenge. But to start you off with an appetizer: I was ready and rearing to start the new challenge yesterday, but today I'm a bit slower on the up-take. The Bad While we were away, Brandt told me one night that Stormer, Youngest's dwarf hamster had died. He was upset for a day, but then the visit with granny, playing and other interesting things distracted him and helped. It quickly turned into more GOOD when hubby pitched up at his mom's house last night to fetch us... the reason for having to fetch us...? The Ugly Yesterday morning, on our way home, we were hit by another car. Our car is written off, and so is the other car. Luckily the other driver wasn't injured either. Our car's cabin wasn't severely damaged, but all the safety pillars were bent, the engine has a lot of damage - looks like a concertina, air bags popped out, etc. The car was spun 180 degrees, with some of our books and luggage strewn over the road. Luckily we weren't driving fast, but the other car were. I've got a couple of nice, big blue and black bruises on my neck, arm and thigh. My ankles were very sore, but are better today. The boys have chafe marks on their necks, arms and bellies from the safety belts, but it saved them from serious injuries. People ran from one building to help us, and they soon had a doctor there giving us all meds for shock. It helped me to sort out things with the police, get the kids calmed down, and collect all our belongings on the street, before our car were towed away. Within an hour of phoning hubby (probably the hardest call I've ever had to make!), then phoning his mom asking to fetch us, hubby had organised a house sitter, taken off from work and was on his way to us in Sabie! We left this morning for home and are back safe and sound. I've been inundated with phone calls and messages from friends phoning others and then phoning/messaging me, which made me cry from scratch again. For the foreseeable future we'll make do with one vehicle as we aren't in a position to buy another car right now. We'll finalise the water tanks plans we started with, as that is urgent to have water for the home in the foreseeable future. Back to The Good! I have a lot of ideas that I slowly, but surely want to implement: I'm going to make this next book order, my last one. Then I'm done with the books. I told hubby and he is ok with it. I want to plant our own vegetable garden, and I'm going to make sure that I make time for my friends who made the effort to find out that we were ok after this accident. With regards to training: I want to do my self defence exercises again, strength (lifting/BW), and a lot of walking/rucking. I'm still not quite sure what I'm going to do, but for the rest of the challenge I'll firstly focus on food - eating <50g net carbs on Banting, and try to bring in my exercises again. By start of next challenge, I will be up and running again.

After planning comes... Action! Trigger warning: I post pictures of food and tempting stuff. @Naxius So yeah, I am going to start swimming this month and hopefully keep at it all summer. Since my knee is not showing any sign of getting better, I had to find and alternative to running and high impact sport, so obviously, like every recovering athlete in the making, I went for swimming. In addition, I have decided to start trying something new. NerdFitness might be a fitness-based website, but I don't think I am the only one that has found the community amazingly supporting in all areas for life. It is truly amazing to get to see the "behind-the-scenes" of people's progress, when normally you only get to hear the success stories. It really makes you realise that in the end, everyone is just doing their best to try and balance busy lives while staying healthy. Anyhow, I don't just want to level-up my fitness level, but level up all areas of my life - Emotional, Physical, Spiritual and Mental. Now as all Nerds know, it is not a good idea to try and do too many things at once, so every month I will focus mostly on one aspect, with one week . The last challenge was mostly a mental one - I focused mostly on self-discipline, study and overall setting the ground for what is coming now, which is the physical practice. Aside from the holistic approach, there is also a bit of non-formal learning theory applied here that I might get into a further post. So, what does this challenge concretely look like? Well - here it goes: Health - Physical 1) Get your cardio Go swimming 2x a week The number is dictated by my budget, unfortunately, as I have quite a few things to pay for this month. I am going back home for the holidays though so I will be able to go more often then. 2) Nourish your body I have started to suspect that one of the reasons my knee is not healing is that the time of injury (whatever it may be) also coincides with the time I decided to try and go on a diet because I had started spotting my abs. This period was, however, also combined with what I suspect is a real underestimation of my current physical activity, which lead to a cycle of binges as well as one week in between where I was constantly eating - but eating junk. Which in turn was followed by a week where I barely ate anything because I felt so sick... sooo... yeah... Because of this, I figured I should try eating instead. Eat between 1600 and 1800 calories Get at least 103g of protein 5x a week 3) Fight mindless snacking This has been a problem lately... it has always been, really, in my life. I had managed to curb it at the beginning of the year thanks to, um, having barely enough budget to eat, but it has come back with a vengeance lately. So, yeah, that needs to stop. No mindless snacking: if I want to snack, I need to take prepare the snack, like our moms and grandmothers did for us when we were children. So, let's say I feel like a slice of bread with nutella on it. This is what I would have to do: take out the bio-nutella equivalent and the orange juice and put it on the table together with cutlery, plates and glasses. Take out the bread, toast the bread, put it on a plate. Sit down, serve myself, then put everything back. I am pretty sure that should be too much effort 9/10. Once a week, fast till the 9th hour This is a fasting method I have found where you don't eat anything until 9 hours after you wake up, then break the fast with a light meal, and have a hearty meal later on for dinner. This is to teach myself to be patient with food - part of the snacking issue comes from just not being able to wait until the next meal. This should train it. This is also why I have a calorie range - I should be eating around 1650 calories a day form what I gathered, so going over on certain days will ensure I make up for the deficit I will certainly have on fasting days. So those are my health goals for the physical aspect of my life. Social - Emotional Blogging practice I really want a blog one day. Check in daily into NF Post a daily animation on my Tumblr (here, for those interested, though it's mostly a collection of mind blurbs and some of those are in French) Art - Spiritual Draw I haven't drawn anything in weeks and it's starting to get closer to months Set aside at least 1h per week to draw. Post progress picture. Learn - Mental Finish the edX Nutrition Course Nutrition and Health Part 1: Macronutrients and Overnutrition It's excellent, approaches the whole question of nutrition from a biological and medical standpoint while being very honest about the limitations of research. It anybody has the time to audit it or wish to get a certificate, they will re-run it this month. I have been on and off it for months, no thanks to the "self-paced" format. I really, really want to wrap it up over the next couple weeks and move on to Part 2. Work on the assignments of the course at least 4 hrs every week. That is it. I think you can see how this works - there is a "main area" for development, and then small goals for all the rest. They rotate. Side Quest: Monkey Level 2. I have not forgotten, no. ^^

After the failure of last challenge I've fallen far. My fitness has taken a serious hit. I haven't ad an honest workout in over a month and I can tell it. I feel weak. I feel slow. My endurance has almost completely vanished. But that ain't wat this challenge is about, this challenge is about getting to the root of the problem, about tearing it up and burning it. GOAL ONE Got to start off with something physical. And it's just that, something physical. My goal hear is to get back on track, to start training again. Really this challenge is more about getting my body used to working, to prepare it for what I have planned. I'm not expecting to make much progress for these four weeks but I'll make some. GOAL TWO My diet has been bad. I've either not been eating or eating way too much. For this challenge since I don't have anything to extreme planned(with one exemption) I'm going to stick to a calorie deficit. I'm shooting for nine days out of ten. GOAL THREE I haven't been checking in like I should've. This is a major weakness of mine. And I'm not involved enough on the forums. I'm going to change that. Goal is to check in atleast every other day. GOAL FOUR I need to focus on my mind, on getting it back in shape. For this I plan on doing one thing per day that will work towards improving my mental strength and resilience. Be it reading a book to learn something new or applying stresses to force myself to work through them. By stresses I mean things like talking or being in a crowd. Stuff that freaks me out but I need to get better with. So that's my challenge. Not much to it. It might not come across in the way I wrote this but I'm doing a lot better then I have been. I'm optimistic about making it through this challenge 100%.

So this pretty much is my first post here and not as a lurker. I need some help with some issues I've noticed that keep cropping up which is sabotaging my weight loss goals. Some background on myself: I'm 5'2'', weigh anywhere from 140-150lbs (stopped weighing myself long ago as I became too obsessed), my bodyfat was 19% but has gone up to about 21% because of having a Fleur De Lis with ab repair done 7 months ago and have just been laying around but within the last few months have I been able to slowly get back into working out. I wear a size 4-6 jeans depending on the maker. My biggest size was a 24. At my maximum weight I weighed closed to 300 and have lost 150lbs. Of course with that you get loose skin which is why I had the surgery on my tummy. It has been 4 years since starting my journey in case anyone would be interested. I still have a lot of loose skin on my inner thighs but I'm not here for that. I will say this, after being on this life changing journey I'm on, no one tells you that you may get some "mental" battles. I still see myself as that huge girl. But I have my good days and bad ones. Everyday is a work in progress. Couple issues I've been noticing is that ever since getting into a relationship 2 1/2 years ago my "perfect" diet i was able to maintain being alone in the beginning for almost 2 years has sort of clashed with my boyfriend's way of eating. He's naturally very thin, 5'11'' 155lbs, and has AMAZING food control but can eat pretty much anything and never gains weight. He can have a piece of cake sitting on his lap and somehow forget it's there. :/ It's hard to tell him no don't bring home nutella, pasta, chips, etc without feeling like I'm an ass for "controlling" what he brings into the house. I don't want to be that person. My self control with food sucks. Period. I never grew up knowing how to eat and before my lifestyle change I would eat out 2/3X a day every day or boxed meals. Never ate veggies. So you can say I don't have a healthy relationship with food. I on occasions have binged and my mindset has unhealthly gone back and forth on I should remain in "lose weight" mode and not maintain mode. I don't eat anything near what I use to and never eat at fast food places but my bf has taught me to enjoy eating out at all natural restaurants. Thank you PDX for having so many options on healthy restaurants! But where I'm getting at is that with my horrible self control I catch myself eating things I shouldn't be eating every week. It wont be everyday but overtime stuff does add up. I haven't been able to lose the stubborn fat I have because of my self control that doesn't work. I know we shouldn't be obsessed with the number of our weight but I'd love to be around 130lb. When I'm on tract I eat my protein, carbs, and healthy fats. Another habit I've recently started as in within 2 months and I'm kicking myself over this, is alcohol. I'm what someone would call a social drinker. I pretty much never drink at home and when my bf and I go out to eat, which is once a week, I have one maybe two beers. But when we go clubbing with friends or to bars with friends or boating with friends it turns into binge drinking where I drink like 4-6 shots or have a whole bunch of beer where it went from enjoying to I want to get drunk like everyone else. I need to kick this but with my self control and even low self esteem I for some reason can't. Funny thing is I hate the taste of hard liquor but love the drunk side effect.. I'm thinking of telling myself two alcohol beverages a week to start with until I can just go without having to feel like I need to "fit in" and get drunk. I'm a little socially awkward but I'm friendly. When I'm drunk I turn into super outgoing and everybody is my friend. Not sure what some peoples' thoughts on this subject would be but any advice would be helpful. Learning to love myself is a major hard one for me but I have an amazing man who tells me I'm beautiful. I am planning on seeing a therapist but any input from you group of lovely men and women will be gladly helpful. I'll add a photo of myself

Hey everyone, I am Rawglor. I found out about Nerd Fitness awhile ago on another forum and was given some little pushes to join by a member there. He thought it would be very helpful for me. So finally I have joined. Although I won't be participating in any challenges yet. I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I was 13. And the biggest problem I have is having a part of me that is very against me. I'm always very critical of myself, have negative views, beliefs, and thoughts about myself, and can only counter these so well for so long before I run out of willpower. My current living situation/existence is very isolated as well. And I am also so stuck in a vicious cycle of depression and self-defeat that I find it very, very hard to be social or friendly whether in real life or online. Anyway. I have been trying, for the past few years, to improve myself and my life in many ways. I've tried therapy, meditation, stretching, body building and different exercising, massaging, supplements, self-help books, and other things. Last year around this same time (November), I started working harder than ever before (it was I first started massaging often). And in January of this year I had the two best weeks of my entire life. I was healthy, I felt very healthy. I was stronger than ever and getting stronger very fast. I was getting much better sleep (I started needing only 8 hours of sleep and waking up feeling rested). I was very happy. I had much better endurance and much more energy. I was learning much quicker. My brain functioned better. I had little to no anxiety, depression, or stress. I have my own theory as to why. It is now that time of year again, and I am starting to feel the same again. Needless to say, I want to feel like that again, so I am now starting to do the same things again and am start to work harder. So the plan is to start stretching, messaging, and meditating daily again, with a little exercise thrown in. I'm going to be looking through this site, reading blog posts and forum posts, reading some new books, and dusting off some old stuff to help with motivation. But the real problem is burning out again. And it's not so much about getting tired of doing so much everyday physically, it's more mental. Fighting all my negative thoughts, trying to change my negative beliefs about myself, and doing something permanent about that part of me. I don't care what anyone has told me about what most people are like, or what they are like. How happy a person a can--or should be. How much any one person can handle doing. What is or is not realistic, etc. I really, really want to be who I was last January, all the time. I want to be strong and healthy. I want to be happy. I want to learn things and accomplish new things everyday. I want to be always growing--always becoming smarter, stronger, faster, better. I want to sleep great at night. But I think I need some help. Something other than family and therapists. I'm just not sure where to go or who to ask. Rawglor, TLDL: I don't have one, sorry.

A Hard Hat Towards Vanity My last two challenges were aborted, the last due to a crippling bout of depression combined with intense (for me personally and for the area in general) and unrelenting heat and humidity. But a new month brings the opportunity to meet my friends after a nearly nine month gap between visits. So I'm going to be very vain this challenge, but I'm going to hard hat it all the way. And focus on some other basics to deal with the depression and things, hence my bounce to the Adventurers Guild. Simple, tight and focussed. Challenge Goal: Thanks to my successful challenges I was down to a rather loose (UK) 16/tight (UK) 14 in trousers/bottoms in general; I am now a more or less perfect (UK) 16. So I want to get down to a UK 14 by the end of the month/end of the challenge. Ideally by the end of the month. Physical 1. I honestly can't do the pull ups or chin ups in the ABBW because if I did the table would actually tip over - I tried. But I'm going to do three full circuits of the ABBW by the end of this challenge. And four times a week. To be graded out of 24. 2. Yoga and/or hip/general flexibility work. I really enjoyed the yoga I did before, but I fell out of that and want to get back into it. It's only going here because I have other ideas for my other goals. Follow the DYWM Beginner's Programme. I believe it's a thrice weekly things. To be graded out of 18. Self-esteem challenges: - I can has splits? - One. Damn. Pull up. - No T'ai Chi because holidays, but practice at least once a week anyway so I don't fall out of practice. +2 STR, +1 STA, +2 DEX, +1 CHA Mental 1. My sleep is really, really, really out of whack. Heat, depression and some silly choices meant that I couldn't sleep until about five in the morning when it was finally cool, but I slept away most of the day. So I'm having a hard limit bedtime of two am. No excuses (unless it's a legitimate medical/other emergency). By the end of the challenge I want to get it to around midnight. This one will be hard as I share a room, and the sister is basically a hermit who never leaves it. And she is a bit of a night owl too. To be graded out of 42 (two am hard limit); progress towards daily midnight bedtime to be assessed weekly. 2. To facilitate the first goal I'm bringing back my sleep meditation. I'll also be spending ten minutes (minimum) daily writing about whatever pops into my mind regarding me as a person - mental, emotional, state of mind, that kind of thing. Can be done in one session or in dribs and drabs throughout the day. By getting a better handle on my thoughts and general non-physical state I can hopefully start noticing negative patterns, positive patterns and work towards negating any depressive issues before they become too serious. To be graded out of 42. Self-esteem challenge - This, though it's here and thus a bonus goal, is absolutely non-negotiable. The only reason it's here is because it's too 'small' to be a Life Quest and it relates to something mental. I have noticed that I have a problem meeting goals, even self-set goals, particularly when depressed. My procrastination issues aren't just dismissable as procrastination any longer. I have a dear friend whom I've never met and will likely never meet. She has a serious chronic illness (dysautonomia) that is basically chronic fatigue syndrome up to eleven. She also has another illness that has currently rendered her legally blind and the chances of her one day becoming totally blind are . . . about fifty/fifty or so. She loves writing stories and fanfic, it's one of the few things she can do because of her dysautonomia; and to cut a long story short I promised to write her a story. Two months ago. Then it got out-of-hand (plot bunnies) so I also decided to write her a shorter, more self-contained fanfic set in her favourite 'verse because she's hit a bad spot in her life. Still not done. This story will be written, edited and sent to her within two weeks. The longer story will be finished by the end of the challenge (or at least fully drafted and broken into chapters so I can start sending it to her. My procrastination, problems with deadlines and other things are affecting a dear friend of mine; I hate this. I will see something through to the end even if I harbour doubts about whether or not she'll like it. - PvS LYBaYF and HOoRAY. +2 CON, +1 WIS Diet This one is really hard because the main shopper (read: dad) does it on the way home from work and I have basically no input on the week/fortnight's main food. And I'm cheap so I don't want to buy my own 'better' food when we have stuff at home that's filling and satisfying and mostly healthy. So let's work towards minimising some things and putting greater emphasis on others. 1. Snacks. I have fallen back into the 'evils' of snacking. And definitely veer into excesses and overeating at times. Defining 'snack' as 'sweets, crisps, desserts, biscuits etc. (or overly sugary drinks) eaten when it is not a meal time' I will hard limit snacks to one a day, working down to three a week by the end of the challenge. Things like fruits, nuts, dark chocolate and smoothies are to be snacked upon in preference and gain brownie points. If we have a surprise dessert that counts as a meal simply because they occur at most once a fortnight. 2. Progress towards minimal gluten Paeleo. So cut down on the bread products (probably once a week then), buy some gluten free spaghetti because spaghetti is now a guaranteed weekly meal. To be graded out of . . . I don't know, I'm terrible at sticking to regular meals - probably why I'm snacking more often because I'm missing all but one meal a day. To be assessed weekly. Self-esteem challenges: - Cook at least four meals a week - Three new recipes. +2 CON, + 1WIS Life Quest: Self-love I did say this was all about the vanity. I'm hard hatting the physical stuff because I feel the diet only needs refining and tweaking. So I kind of hate myself as a person. Not so much in appearance, but as a soul. The past month has been especially bad and I dearly want to avoid falling back into bad habits. Oddly enough, not the self-harm. In spite of my non-appearance in my last challenge and cessation of the one prior to that I . . . I've actually managed to stop my self-harm - that would be the biting, ripping, nipping, picking and eating of the flesh around the nails and fingertips - completely. Well, I'll rarely find myself 'slip-picking' (what I call running my nails down the side of other nails searching for weak areas that break 'on their own' so I can rip the flesh away), but I always stop it. Now the worst it gets to is that I run the pad of my right thumb (and sometimes the edge of it) up and down my index finger; enough that I'm getting a callus. But that's rambling. Boasting actually. I think that perhaps I've internalised the self-harm, or the heat or the depression or both have exacerbated my self-deprecation in ways I haven't felt in ages. So it's time for me to love myself and be shamelessly vain. While the overall goal is vain, and my goals are sort-of vain, I just want some nice indulgent self-love mixed in with some hard work that'll make me feel more confident. 1. Try out two-to-six new activities/things that I've wanted to do for ages but haven't because fear or money or not good enough or social anxieties/pressure or [reason]. These can be things like getting a massage, a manicure, an acupuncture session, try a new skill/resume an old one. Dye bits of my hair red, blue or purple. Though given I have fairly high hopes for a recent job application (college librarian) I may have to pass on this even though I've wanted this for basically a decade. Suggestions are welcome. 2. Stop judging. Stop judging myself and other people. Compassion and understanding is key. For this I will, to reference a Pratchett concept, I will have Second Thoughts, maybe even Third and Fourth ones. Write down at least one of these things a day. To be graded out of 42. 3. One of the best ways to feel more confident about yourself as a person is to change the way you present yourself to the world. I've been hanging onto old, ill-fitting for too long; I've been hanging onto things I've never worn; I've been hanging onto things for 'one day'. I am a smart, well-presented person almost all the time but I could be better. And when at home? The nighties and pyjamas I have are nigh-universally old or ill-fitting because no one else is going to see them, so why bother? But they're old and not-so-comfy any more. The nighties I was wearing when I was fifteen don't suit twenty-three year old me. Yeah, I haven't grown very much in those eight years so height/size wise they fit physically (ish), but they don't suit. In short: a thorough evaluation of my wardrobe/accessories and general presentation is required. Followed by a cull and then shopping. Flirt with makeup and hair styling. Get the pixie trimmed so it keeps its shape. Pass/fail. +2 CHA, +1 WIS Yay, late start!

ME This is my second challenge. I already started C25K the day after the last challenge ended and I'm currently on Week 2 MY MISSION Get stronger mentally, physically and be able to run for 30 minutes without stopping. (Around 5 kilometers) HOW DO I GET THERE? 1) Run 3 times a week; follow the C25K program. Repeating weeks does not deduct. (+5 STA) 2) Do some kind of strength workout 2 times per week. Any kind, any length. (+ 5 STR) 3) Meditate for at least 5 minutes every day (+5 WIS) MOTIVATION - I want to be able to run! I don't wanna be the one who's panting AND falling behind when other people run. Also I need to be able to run 3 kilometers in maximum 15 minutes by the end of the year. - I want to be strong and look good. - I want more mental energy; this makes me happy. UPDATES? I will update this thread AT LEAST 2 times per week. Spreadsheet (more or less) daily 24-06-2014 I've removed my side goal since it was threatning my challenge.

Hi all! Main quest: run a 50k in November Quest 1: to train for the main quest 6 days the week Quest 2: to swing my 44 lbs kettlebell 75 times in a row in 6 weeks Quest 3 : to get ripped despite my age of 46 Life quest: to be a good dad and human. Let us burn down the hell!

I don't wanna do challenges, why am I making this thread? I'm making this thread. Ok. Better get started. I've gained weight. Incredible amounts of it (a few kilo really). This needs to stop. But I can't just stop it, I keep trying and failing. Yesterday I went to physical therapy for my shoulder for the first time. Tomorrow I'm going again. (OMG KIBCY IS DOING SOMETHING ABOUT HER SHOULDER) It involved a lot of pain, but also a lot of feeling better. Apparently my shoulder is just basically jammed shut. At the end of the session I could actually raise my arm fully instead of up but not fully against my head. My physical therapist blames my doctor for prescribing me with rest. I've also took a step toward online therapy. Which I hope will turn out better than face-to-face therapy, because I'm horrible at explaining my problems face-to-face. Just want to ask two more questions that I wouldn't have asked face-to-face probably. Ok so that's what I've recently done. I've also switched gyms and that gives me hope for the future. And last Friday I managed to live on marzipan and cookies alone. MAIN FOCUS I can't call it a goal, hah. So my main focus is LONG TERM SUCCES. Sticking to it. SYSTEM 1 I'm working on eating dinner, instead of evening snacking. Any dinner counts, even unhealthy ones, it's about structure. SYSTEM 2 "Safe" grocery store. I have become aware that I have a "location bound problem". That's to say, the moment I buy unhealthy snacks in a grocery store, I will do it again. But if I have never bought them in a grocery store, it's easier to not buy them. Recently a new store opened really close to my home, and I made a promise I wouldn't buy unhealthy snacks there. So far I've kept that promise. That's not to say I can't buy unhealthy snacks, I just don't buy them at that store. SYSTEM 3 Exercise. I will exercise 1-3 times a week at the gym. The aim is at least 1 day a week. I have the Monday, Wednesday and Friday scheduled specifically for this purpose. I've cleared those days from any other weekly/standard obligations. My aim for now is Wednesday, with Monday and Friday as back-up days. Eventually I want to go to the gym 3x week, do "play" 2x week and walk 1x week. For now I'm starting with 1x week gym, as I'm paying for it. And that's it. Time to do my best.

Some people say they are their own worst critic... And I'm starting to think that I take this so far to the extreme, it is probably my biggest hurdle on my journey to get fit.... Let me give you a few examples: 1) the women's fitness forum had a topic about how you perceive your body shape vs what it actually looks like... Most responses from other women were between 5-12.5% smaller than their perception... Me? I am 22.5% smaller than how I percieve myself... And even though that website told me...I still am thinking, "oh, they probably made a mistake, it's a UK website, it has to be a misconversion from cm to in." 2) I'm a teacher, I work 12 hour days preparing for a class with over half my students not meeting standard for their grade level. I have some challenging kids, but when a lesson doesn't go well, or a student does something naughty during an observation... I blame myself. Like, a lot. When my principal talks to me about different things she's noticed that weren't perfect... I honestly cry, then I get angry with myself for crying... Which leads to more crying lol ugh I'm crazy!!! 3) working out... I don't go on hikes or journeys with friends that involve exercise because I don't want to be last... I've been last my whole life... It revolves around people even in middle school trying to get me to hurry up and finish the mile so we can go... I haven't been to a gym in months, because when I go, I can never find a weight bench or treadmill next to someone who isn't training for a marathon or lifting competition... I know my self confidence de-rails my journey, I just don't know what to do about it! Can anyone help or is this going to remain in my quest log for the rest of my life?