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alternate titles: Lord Pakku's hard black rod Lord Pakku grips the shaft Lord Pakku, something something wiener im a very solo person when it comes to gymnastic flailing. always have been. sure, ill post about my failings and flailings on here and occasionally let slip to people in the real world that i sweat, but id never sweat in front of anyone. that would be simply unladylike. so imagine my surprise when i started saying things like, "im gonna take a rock climbing course come the summer" and "boy howdy, i sure do wish my life was more physically challenging" it really snuck up on me. i also committed to building a rowing machine, being awesome, having long beautiful flowing hair, not eating every pizza ever, and a hoard of other garbage. ive written a solid couple of sentences there. its time for a gif yeah it was. Zorg knows whats up.. and hes so handsome! he knows am i writing checks my mouth cant cash? or body? i dont think its appropriate anymore to say writing checks my body cant cash.. thats maybe crossing a line. am i writing checks my body is eager to cash me-ow! YES yes i am. i totally am. but heres the rub. rock climbing is gravity defying, and i have yet to defy gravity. gravity is a harsh mistress, and she has her hooks in me.. pulling me inexorably downward and away from any sheer rock walls. and towards my sofa. and netflix. gravity wants to netflix and chill but sometimes you gotta take a stand. tell gravity no. we've done what you wanted every night.. what about what i want to do? you never listen to me! what do you mean you think we've grown apart? no, come on baby.. dont call your mother. WELL FINE! i dont need you anyway. youve always been dragging me down (EEEEHHH WINKIDY WINK) ...... im gonna burn all the shit youve left behind! aaaaand along those lines, i went to the home improvement store and bought an iron pipe which fits my gymnastic rings bands perfectly what for the pullups. its probably time for one of those promised penis jokes "but Pakku" you ask "arent all penises jokes" ZING! having installed the shaft into the folded openings snugly, i took myself for a ride. vertically you might be wondering how many pullups should an aspiring rock climbing class taker be able to perform? i know i sure was. i can pretty much guarantee that the answer is not zero. and yet that was the total number of pullups i managed. zero so where was my mission when? uhh and uh. what was that second part here is my mission now, do a pullup and that thing about reddit, i guess just kidding, fuck reddit. so heres the bottom line, either i do a pullup, or i pull this fucking house down! totally applicable badass moment! challenge 2 specifically unspecific specifics: pull myself up keep on keeping on (diet, cardio, strength training) finish geralts bracers, pauldrons, and fur shawl that guy.. get to the half way point on making him me. and thats pretty much it