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Hello friends! I am back! Life took some violent twists and turns - I lost my job in Berlin, I got rejected at a new job after a trial day, we couldn‘t rent a new apartment, my husband couldn‘t get a date for residence permit - it was no fun. Then we moved to Dresden. We did it because we predited getting an appointment for RP would be much easier here. And we were right - we got it in just three weeks. Besides, I got a job as a German teacher, yay! We live in a beautiful, sunny city and my husband is already allowed to work. He is also gonna receive RP in two weeks. Everything turned out well. Now as everything is settled, I can focus on my wellness. My goals: - do more back exercise: 20 min a day - find a fitness routine that doesnt hurt my back and do it 3-4 times a week - lose 2 kg. Unfortunately I put on weight because I was unable to do my workouts due to injury as I used to.

I thought I could become many things in life, but becoming a criminal definitely wasn't one of them... How did it go about the box of chocolates...? xD Recently I've been through a lot - I got a sentence of 2 weeks in a detention centre, but it was a lie. They didn't let me go after two weeks, I was told I had to wait until my deportation procedure is complete, but it was all bullshit. They just keep people as long as they please and everything depends on a policeman's mood. After breaking many promises, they finally let me out after two months. I suffered horribly, a confinement is worse than most things I can imagine, it is something very hard to understand if you didn't go through it. No outdoor activities, (actually no activities at all), no contact with a lawyer, family, outside world. Complete isolation. The doctors only shout and shame for being sick, getting a medicine is like winning a lotttery. I only maintained my sanity thanks to my innates who showed me unconditional love and support. I will never forget them. When you have nothing, a connection with another human being is more precious than all treasures of this world. They were so kind to me even though they were in much worse situation than me. Those poor girls were trafficked and sold in China and for this they ended up there with me... For "illegal immigration." Some of them were already there for 3-4 months... After 2 months I was deported back to my country. I thought my problems have finally ended, but I forgot how dysfunctional and mental my mother is. She didn't even take my dead father's stuff from my lockers and wardrobe as I asked her, so I had to do it all myself after that nightmare I went through... Besides, she kept on critisising my poor father, she was noisy at night and said I "don't have to sleep well because no one dies from sleeping badly, " she complained the food I made was disgusting and so on and on. She tormented me so much I lost more weight during one week with her than during two months in prison lol. She could work as interrogator, I'd confess anything just to get rid of her lol. Fortunately she is finally gone (she spends summer somewhere else). I can finally take a breath, because the last three months were like drowning and struggling to keep my head above water all the time. Mentally I am in a good shape, I don't think about all that stuff that happened. But I am very weak, it took its toll on my health to be under extreme pressure for so long. What's more, I became much slower and I have a problem with thinking stuff through, but I guess it's related to the exhaustion. I also feel numb and I miss my husband horribly. We got separated again. So my plan is: take good rest and recharge my bateries. Do stuff that makes me happy. Besides: breathwork and exercise for my spine because that's also closely related to my health and overall well-being. Wish me luck and welcome on board! Hopefully nothing dramatic happens again, so I can stick to the challenge this time.

TW: ED talk Welcome to my daily log. Here I'm going to post: Daily meals with calories Exercise Overall how I'm feeling in my journey My overall goal is to just get healthier. I'm currently recovering from an undiagnosed but kinda evident ED. Which one, I dunno. But for 2 years apparently I was at max eating only about 950 calories a day on top of working out. I'm going to fix that. Daily goal: eat no less than 1200 calories I think I want to be around 1400-1500 Weekly goals: Have only 1 pepsi/sugary drink a week some sort of light exercise 3 days a week That's it for right now while I get into a better head space. I'm spiraling a little, but I know I need to post somewhere to help get myself back. So, thank you in advance for being here, whether you post or lurk!

"You must be proud, bold, pleasant, resolute, and now a then stab, as occasion serves." - Christopher Marlowe Train the Body: First and foremost, training is important to me. There is an aesthetic I like, a vainness that I enjoy. But, I like being strong. Not just inside the gym, but outside the gym. I thought a lot about it this past weekend with moving and knowing how the strength I've garnished over the years of lifting really helped me out. I think about being weaker and not being able to lift as much weight and how much more difficult the move would have been. I'm thankful for the time I've put in and how it's translated to real world application. I started a new training program through the middle of the last challenge and love it. The programming is great. The structure and ability to complete within an hour is even better, given that 60-65min is basically the max time I have to train before I have to get ready for work. I'm excited to get back into the program called "Comanche" later this week. The program calls for sprints 2x a week but I think with my busy schedule and two jobs that I'll just go for 1x a week for now. Train the Mind: I know that I am mentally strong. The key to me being successful in my every day life is to be strong mentally. I work 2 jobs. Sometimes my day extends around the 17-18hr mark from the time I wake up to the time I get off from Costco and get home. I have a BRAND NEW routine now that I've moved and this week is going to be an adjustment. Finish 2 audible books during this challenge. Utilize my longer commute. Train my Creative Mind™ Empire of Silence (Sun Eater Book #1) (16hrs left) Howling Dark (Sun Eater Book #2) Recover the Body: Foam roll, yoga, massage gun: USE ALL OF THESE THINGS. Work hard. Play hard. Recover hard. Recover the Mind: Nap. Eat at your desk to save time and use part of your hour lunch to catch some Zzz's. Meditation goes a long ways, I think. I definitely don't take the time to relax my mind in that regard and train it up to be stronger and more palpable. 5min a day is not long. I can do this. Wolf

Yes, I am still so DPB for Vampire: the Masquerade that I am running my challenge theme around it. A fledgling young kindred making her way and trying to survive the nights ahead and make a name for herself. Actually, the stats for the system work REALLY well for my goals too. So without further ado, let's ... sink our teeth into this one, shall we? To survive the nights and avoid pissing off elder kindred, this fledgling will need to follow The Traditions and learn how to user her new powers and disciplines. Do Not Break the Masquerade This happens most often by getting caught feeding, so we need to put some rules in place. Take no more than you need from your prey. [Track calories daily.] Don't give into the beast. [No binges!] Prey Exclusion : Sweets [Limit these, they offer no nourishment.] Clan Brujah. Learn to use Celerity, Potence and Presence Potence ● ⚬ ⚬ ⚬ ⚬ [Strength Train 2-3x / Week] Celerity ● ⚬ ⚬ ⚬ ⚬ [Move 2-3x / Week] Presence ● ⚬ ⚬ ⚬ ⚬ [Music and Art / 2 hours each / week] (Piano, Guitar, Bass, Art) These are the things I've been working on, and while the music and stuff has really become a nice habit, the food is the biggest challenge right now. I need to make that the priority! That and putting a little more ... hmm, intention behind my work outs. I have my annual physical in 6 weeks and would like to slide in on a hot streak of being on the good path. This mental motivation to get going comes with an extra complication though - lol. "Where's the fun without complications?" - Beckett Finally ... vampires, for as much as they are now predators, are also oddly social things. The interactions, the politics, the posturing... all of these things become the night in night out routine of their immortal unlives. To that end, I am also adding the Social Goal here of doing much better about checking in, updating my posts and following all of you lovelies.

Hi, I'm J3NN. I'm recovering from covid and have a vacation planned this challenge so I'm probably going to be quiet and slow this time. But I want to keep on keeping on, so I have set up a challenge and tried to dial it back, or make the recovery and fun more of a focus. So here's what I came up with this time... Bring elements of adventure into life in big ways and small Gish scavenger hunt 1 shared experience per wk of Craft Lunch, Book Club, SF, etc. Complete a monthly travel multi-day adventure - Alaskan Cruise Become a creator of shared, adventurous experiences of craftiness, creativity, learning, and community Newsletter Hobby Hunter series activity Become a person who practices self-care daily Molding Mobility 3x/wk Daily steps (avg 4000) Add 1 self-care practice to my journal per week Read in Kindle Become a person who believes in the vision of my future and makes my story come true 1 item from list to in my home office Complete Will and share For the above, this is what my actually commitments will look like. Bring elements of adventure into life in big ways and small GISH - 7 days Participate in a shared experience - 6 Complete a monthly travel multi-day adventure - 8 Become a creator of shared, adventurous experiences of craftiness, creativity, learning, and community Send Newsletter - 6 Complete Hobby Hunter series activity - 5 Become a person who believes in the vision of my future and makes my story come true Complete item from the list to clean home office - 1 Complete Will and share - 2 Become a person who practices self-care daily Molding Mobility 3x/wk - 18 Daily steps (avg 4000) - 4,000 Add self-care practice to my journal - 6 Read in Kindle daily - 42

I missed the last challenge... I needed the break and I am recovering from all that happened the last two months. To summarize: Spring break, semi-new management position at work, shoulder surgery and continued recover, two illnesses of my own, eldest spawn's medical journey continues and now we have a large forest fire that is ~5 miles from where i sit at work and just 10 miles from my house. My asthma is angry these days with the smoke. https://inciweb.nwcg.gov/incident/8075/ (actual picture from the fire FB page) So much on my plate and oddly I am calm, patient and happy. This challenge will be a KISS -- keep it simple stupid -- challenge! My goals are simple: Do my PT and any other exercise that sounds like fun to me, when I am able to breathe. Accept that I can't do all the things, all of the time and be OK with me as I am in the moment. Eat smaller portion sizes Be prepared to evacuate and when the call comes (because I think it will with the wind and warm temps predicted) pack up the important things and head out of town with a sense of peace and understanding. The 3+ hour drive to my parents place can be a lovely drive with all the family and critters! 🧳🐈🐕🧳 Keep doing the things that are necessary to be a leader at work, not just a manager. That is it nothing special or fancy. Simple and easy. I'll check in here when I can and I won't stress when I can't or I forget.

Someone posted an article the other day on the NF- Women's FB page which talked about a lady's experiences with weightlifting which brought her away from extreme dieting and excessive cardio; and how much healthier she felt by doing less. And I thought, I also always do too much; and it either consumes my life, or it becomes overwhelming and then I slowly drop everything. I began to wonder, "how can I do less"?, plan-wise of course,; realistically I've been pretty sedentary for a few years and really need to do more. Here's the background summary: 285 lbs senior year of high school, and largely sedentary, -> 315 lbs by senior year of college, and largely sedentary -> 155 lbs three years later, with a severe ED, and multiple intense workouts a day -> 225lbs by law school graduation, two years later with weight lifting and considerably less cardio, -> now 315 lbs again, six years later, working long hours at a desk job and largely sedentary. I felt the best when I was somewhere between 180-225 lbs; when I was strong, but could still run a 5k in 40 min. The article lady, and the lady she was referencing, both focused more on how weightlifting made them feel, rather than how they looked, (though they both looked amazing). While I do want to lose weight, because I've gained so much back since graduation. I am mostly concerned with feeling better. I don't want to be winded doing simple tasks, like going up and down stairs. Planting season is coming and I would like to lift the dirt, pots and mulch without any soreness. Mainly, it'd be nice to just feel all around capable again. For the past few challenges, I've been trying to do a little everyday instead of 2-3 big workouts a week. Trying to do a little something every day has been somewhat more successful, so I'm keeping that. Also I really want to incorporate more walking into my week, 1). because I miss it, 2). because it's so amazing for building stamina and heart heath, and 3). the days are getting longer now and there is actually sunlight for a whole hour after work where I live, so I don't have to walk around in the dark. I also looked up my current calorie expenditure and my goal weight expenditure. And I discovered that the difference between my current weight of 315 lbs and sedentary, and my goal weight of 180 lbs and active, is just 200 calories a day; 2350 overall. 200 less a day is quite doable. I should note, that I've looked all this up before, but it hit differently this time; so did the idea of doing a simple plan. Usually, I end up with several goals, with subsets, and a complicated workout plan and diet plans. I've gotten smarter, I'm not doing that this time. I have 3 goals: 1. Build Stamina! 2. Build Strength! 3. Sleep more!!! All the other things, like eating less carbs, getting certain grams of protein, drinking a certain amount of water, or particular flexibility flows and workouts at really specific times of the day; those all come together pretty naturally when I start to feel better. At least they did when I lost weight the first time, before the ED took over. So I'm not going to worry about it. Though I have a certain amount of calories to aim for I'm not going to count calories; or even worry about restricting anything right now. I'll just be mindful about my portions, food quality and snacks, without a goal I can beat myself up about if I start to mess up. I'm not going to force myself to drink a certain amount of water, or put the completion of certain physical milestones on my mental wellbeing right now; that's not the goal. Performance is not the goal, certain macros and micros are not the goal, nutrition is not the goal, hydration is not the goal; those are ways to reach the goal, but the only real goal is to feel better in my body. I know all this stuff is discussed a lot on this site, but for some reason it's clicking a little differently this time. Here's the new schedule: Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Church work work work work work Jujitsu Walk Walk Walk Walk Gym 1 Gym 2 Gym 1 I figure if I do 15-30 min. walks just around the neighborhood, several days a week, I can do a slow and steady growth on distance/stamina. Gym days #1. RDLs, bench, and dips. Gym days #2. Squats, shoulder press, and pull-ups (lat pull downs for now). Gym days will begin with 10-20 min. of interval cardio to warm up, and build cardio strength. And will end with a 10 ish min. yoga/stretching. Straightforward and simple. And if I miss a day, or a week, I'm not going to beat myself up this time; because the only goal is to feel better, not to hit certain milestones. I think I might actually have it this time.

The overarching challenge goals are gonna be: keep and improve my sleep gains, work on chronic burnout (which incorporates a degree of exercise I need for other things), and manage what's looking like a mental heath freefall. The specifics are going to take some time, because I'm not yet sure what the characteristics or attack points of this mental health freefall are. So I will start with zero week tasks. Make a list of things to accomplish in the next two weeks. (50% progress) Pay special attention to health insurance issues on that list. (Done 1x) Find my yoga strap. Do yoga five times. (Done 1x) Exercise twice. (Done 0x) Metta meditation five times. (Done 0x) Post every day. (Done 2x) Take notes on the characteristics of any mental health crashes that interfere with getting things done or other wellbeing issues. Try to increase my good people contact. Bonus: binge-watch something fictional. (Done 1x) I know binge-watching is sort of a symptom of brain weasels, but I'm putting it on my list because I want to at least be able to check it off a list if I'm gonna do it, and because I'm actually not sure that binge-watching isn't a technique for practicing dealing with people and problems in a removed way that is less immediate and more controllable.

I'm experimenting with workout schedules. That's the science. In my last challenge, linked here: I had the following goals: Goal 1: Workout every day. Goal 2. Eat more, earlier in the day, and in smaller portions to avoid bingeing at night; and everything should be clean. Goal 3. Water/Sleep: 6 cups at least & 6 hours at least. I'm not changing the goals for this challenge, I probably won't change the goals for a while. But because my completion chart looked like this at the end of the challenge,.... Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Work Work Work Work Work Jujitsu (AM) Church “ “ “ “ “ “ “ “ “ “ Cardio Resistance Jujitsu (PM) Life Group Errands Cardio Resistance Endurance or Speed Hams (RDLs) & Chest Yoga Abs Yoga Endurance Hams (RDLs), Lats & Delts Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Week 0 ✔️ ✔️ 4/6 ✔️✔️5/8 ✔️✔️3/6 ✔️✔️2/3 ✔️✔️4/5 ❌✔️4/8 ✔️✔️6/7 Week 1 ✔️✔️5/7 ✔️✔️4/7 ✔️❌4/7 ❌✔️idk ❌❌idk ❌✔️4/7 ❌✔️4/8 Week 2 ✔️✔️3/5 ✔️❌4/6 ❌✔️2/8 ❌✔️3/6 ❌❌ idk ❌✔️idk ❌✔️4/8 Week 3 ✔️✔️4/8 ✔️✔️4/7 ❌✔️ idk ❌✔️idk ❌✔️idk ❌✔️4/7 ✔️✔️4/8 Week 4 ❌✔️ idk ❌✔️3/8 ✔️✔️ 5/6 ✔️✔️ idk ❌✔️ idk ❌✔️4/6 ✔️✔️5/7 Week 5 ❌✔️ idk ❌✔️ idk ❌✔️ idk ❌❌ idk ❌✔️ idk ❌❌ idk I figured I should reevaluate my workout schedule. I to see more green this time around. Changing my schedule around to look like this: Sunday,--Cardio: preferably hikes to build endurance, (Is there anything better on a Sunday afternoon?), but since the weather will be iffy over the next month, anything will be fine. Monday--Weights: RDLs + (Bench & Lats) or (Rows & Shoulders) Tuesday--Cardio: Doesn't matter what kind. Wednesday: Jujitsu & Abs/Core work, If no jujitsu class -> Weights again Thursday- Yoga: I usually have church activities on Thursdays, so I get home very late and in varying states of fed/hungry. So I'd rather do something simple and at home, while I get ready for bed. Friday-Abs/Core work: I run my errands on Friday nights, so I need something I can do at home, that's relatively quick. If all else fails, 1min. planks suffice just fine. Saturday- Weights again. Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Week 0 Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week Xtra Week 5 I know this challenge is only three weeks, but I didn't feel like making a new chart, now or in the future. I'm also going to start a week now, and go the week after Christmas. Because my main goal going into next year is to workout consistently, so there is no point in taking a week off anywhere and disrupting that. I'm less tired than I was a few months ago, and my strength and endurance are slowly picking up, so I know at least something is working.

Decisions I made during the last challenge: 1. I think I need to switch gyms. I'm currently with Planet Fitness, and I hate it. One of the things that brought me out of bulimia 6-7 years ago was barbell training; and I miss it terribly. Planet Fitness doesn't have any; but there is a new gym close to my house that is an old school gym that has many. Also the new gym claims to be open 24 /7, actually open 24/7. If it is that will help a lot because, most of the time I don't seem to be done with my day, in a way that I could workout until 8 or 9 in the evening, (when my planet fitness closes). I got some client payments last week and I'm financially stable right now, so I'm going to go check out the new gym tomorrow. 1 (a). Recently, Steve posted something on the NF Facebook page about working out every day of the week being easier than working out 2-4 times a week. And I realized, for me at least, that's true. When I worked out everyday, there was no question as to whether or not I'd workout that day, I didn't need motivation or even really a schedule, it was just a question of what the workout would be. I've been very cautious to workout every day again because I didn't want to retrigger the bulimia. (My purge method was excessive exercise). But if I make a workout everyday schedule with less intense, recovery, days; I'll lessen the risk of constant injury, and won't go overboard. 2. I really need to eat more, earlier in the day. I habitually eat very little during the day and then eat everything in the evening. But on the rare occasion that I eat enough during the day, my dinners at night become very reasonable, and I feel better overall. 3. I still need to drink more water and get more sleep. Goal 1: Workout every day. Goal 2. Eat more, earlier, in smaller portions, and everything should be clean Goal 3. Water-6 cups at least; Sleep -6 hours at least. Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week 4 Week 5 Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Work Work Work Work Work Jujitsu (AM) Church “ “ “ “ “ “ “ “ “ “ Cardio Resistance Jujitsu (PM) Life Group Errands Cardio Resistance Endurance or Speed Hams (RDLs) & Chest Yoga Abs Yoga Endurance Hams (RDLs), Lats & Delts

In the before times, the Monks had a local apothecary thread designed for discussing various health and injury related questions, and how to adapt training around them. In the interests of sharing the love, I've bought a new medical thread second-hand, cleaned it up, sanded it, repainted it, and given it a bit of a 22nd century polish.

I've been in this really annoying cycle for the past few years. The cycle goes like this: 1 Getting a wake up call about how far my fitness has fallen, 2. Diving into workouts that are too intense for my current level of fitness, 3. Getting hurt, 4. Having to rest for several weeks, to heal 5. Getting comfortable with laziness, and ceasing healthy behaviors. And repeat. Let's just try it again. The goal right now, is just to workout ..... at all. I don't care the schedule, frequency, style, program. Just to workout at some point in the week and to let that build.

Greetings and Salutations, friends! My name is Ryan and I go under the moniker "Wild Wolf". But, most people just call me Wolfie. I've been Rangering since 2014 on and off, seeing many highs and many lows during that time frame. I've also been apart of Nerd Fitness since 2012! Recently, I was feeling really good about my challenges until about November of last year. I was laid off from my day job which sent me into a spiral of self doubt with a sprinkle of depression. I AM the provider for my large Wolf Pack™ and when I heard the news I was being let go (along with 120 other people) I started to panic. Between a mortgage, bills and everything in between that needed to be paid, I set off to find another job ASAP. Little did I know it would take me over 2 months to do so! I finally landed a job in late January, and my official first week was last week. My mood has drastically changed and I feel like I'm starting to gain some traction. FINALLY! During the time period where I didn't have a day job, I started a book series called: The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson. Now, these are EPIC FANTASY style books, with some reaching over 1100 pages long. Yeah.... big ass books. I started listening to them on Audible because the 4th book in the installment, Rhythm of War, was about to release. I consumed books 1 (Way of Kings) and 2 (Words of Radiance) in about 17 days, lol. I couldn't stop listening! I'm nearly finished with book 3 (Oathbringer) and looking forward to hopping on to book 4 right after. To give you a brief summary of what The Stormlight Archive is, please read THIS. I only link the summary of the series because I would end up taking 15 pages to explain it myself, lol. The books are AMAZING! My challenge, however, deals with the Immortal Words that each Knight Radiant must speak, starting with the First Ideal: Life before Death Strength before Weakness Journey before Destination It is within these words that strives a code to live by, A foundation, if you will. There's so much meaning in these words that I think about them almost daily. And, what exactly do they mean to me, you ask??? Life before Death: Living each day to it's fullest. Don't wait for tomorrow to get something done, or forgive someone, or tell someone you love them. Don't let a day go by where you regret NOT doing something. Strength before Weakness: To me, this doesn't really have a lot to do with physical strength. This is choosing to be strong in those moments of weakness. This is choosing to do the hard thing over taking the easy route (which isn't always the right path). This is building up a mental capacity to kick each day in the nuts and never let stress or anxiety or depression to bring you down and make you question your self worth. Journey before Destination: I forget to enjoy the ride of life sometimes. I worry too much about the end results instead of relishing in the journey that gets me there. Smile at the little things. Don't take life so serious because it WILL weigh you down. You have a choice. DON'T. LET. IT. This is what my respawn challenge is about. I speak the Immortal Words and hold fast to the First Ideals each and every day. My Goals: Stay Active Stretch/mobilize DAILY Time Management Feed the Creative Monster™ That's it. No fluff or crazy shenanigans. Just get back to basics and stay engaged on the forums. So, let's drop in and get ready to kick some ass! Wolf

Sometimes things are a lot. This year so far has definitely been that. Illness, extended lockdown rules, isolation, work stress, body image issues, relationship insecurity, more illness, more lockdown, and topped off by the sudden death of a friend. I mean, that all sounds pretty awful, but I want to point out there has been a lot of good also, and many of these issues are being worked on. This challenge is basically about maintaining a steady level of functionality and good quality of life whilst making major changes and working on issues before they turn into major disasters. Simple, right? Maybe. Guideline One: Gotta Eat Eating is essential to life, funnily enough. Skipping meals is not a good habit to be falling back into, and unfortunately it's something I've realised that I'm doing more and more. It has a noticeable physical impact. Also not good. So: I am a person who eats in the morning, after coffee, of course! I am a person who eats in the afternoon and evening. I am a person who eats when they are hungry. I am a person who recognises not eating is self-destructive. Guideline Two: A Little Vanity Helps the Sanity Fairly self-explanatory, I need to keep on top of my self-care. This also is sliding, and it is likely because I rarely leave the flat for reasons other than work. Also not good. I am a person who recognises that they feel better when they take proper care of themselves. Guideline Three: Movement For the Soul As mentioned above, there is some difficulty in leaving my flat right now. That needs nipped in the bud. I am a person who feels at home in nature. I am a person that enjoys walking. I am a person comfortable in almost all weathers. Guideline Four: Creation I'm not saying D&D has been a lifeline, but... D&D has been a lifeline. I am a player in one campaign, my wonderful Sunday group, and I've found that I am getting into the roleplay side of things far more than I expected. It's been great fun developing my angry dwarf! I also run a small campaign where I'm getting to stretch my roleplay antics and try new things, and I am thoroughly enjoying the worldbuilding aspect of it. It's at the point where I'm considering creating a PbP too... I am a person who revels in creative work. I am a person who actively makes time for creative work, but does not let it consume everything. I am a person who enjoys trying new things. I am a person who wants to share my creations. I am a person who enjoys the social aspect of that sharing. So I've got no actual goals, but that's just fine with me. Goals can come once I know the general shape my life is going to take once these decisions have been made and the dust begins to settle. Goals can be made when I know I'm in a stable enough place to put in the extra work to achieve them. I did debate coming back here, but eventually decided it was for the better that I did, even with a kind of non-challenge. I like it here, and the extra accountability is essential right now.

Hello there friends. I have been gone a bit. In early September I ended up in the ER, thinking I was dying of a heart attack. Instead, it turns out I had advanced gallbladder disease that had been ignored for a decade, because every time I had sought treatment for the symptoms, it was dismissed as an anxiety/panic attack. I spent September thru December radically changing everything about my diet, and discovered that an aggressively low-fat, high-fiber diet is the best thing I could have done for myself in many ways. Wish I'd learned that years ago, really. I built myself up to walking 4.5 miles at a stretch, feeling great and doing well. I dropped 20 pounds and overall, felt pretty good. Sadly, a medical problem ignored for a decade does not go away so simply. Even though I chased away the worst of the symptoms, the root of the problem remained, a ticking time bomb waiting to send me back into the ER with another attack; or worse, rupture and sepsis, and a high risk of death. Two days ago I had surgery to remedy the problem, and now I am laid up and resting. In theory, I will be back to (mostly) normal in one week, with a full resumption of my strength in three weeks. Around the end of this challenge, in fact, which seemed serendipitous. So, I am here. Wounded, but unbeaten. Ready to convalesce and then reclaim my strength again. =============== Goals, goals! Right. It is a challenge, after all. 1) Walk 1 mile before 1/20 (my follow-up appointment) COMPLETE! 2) Walk a full 5k before the end of the challenge COMPLETE! 3) Lift my daughter on 2/1 (three weeks post-surgery) COMPLETE!

[SOMEDAY IS TODAY] They drifted across a vast landscape. Directly below, stretching endlessly outwards in almost every direction, was a forest of the like they had never seen. Immense trees with impossibly thick, red barked trunks reached up towards the sky, deep green canopies spreading below the blazing might of two suns. Below, though not so far as to be called small, other canopies reached up with many hands. Some were broad leafed and fluttered in the light breeze, some were sharp, like needles, and some were narrow. It was impossible to put a name to every shade of green the leaves showcased, or every shade of brown prevalent on the trunks. In one direction, opposite the twin suns, far away enough to be faint, yet large enough at a distance that they must indeed be true giants, a mountain range rode the horizon. White capped, grey and purple flanked, and entirely unlike anything they had ever seen before. "This age has passed." The deep bass rumble sounded more like an earthquake than a person. "This age is yet to come." They frowned, opening their mouth- -a hoarse, pained grunt escaped them, quickly followed by a low moan of pain. Colours blazed before their eyes as dizziness swept across them, though they quickly receded. Yeti lay still, shivering, blinking back stinging tears of pain. When they could see clearly, it was to realise that they were staring up at a roughly hewn ceiling, one entirely unfamiliar to them. Slowly, carefully, frowning as they did so, they turned their head to look around. They weren't in the alcove. They were in a grey room that looked as though it had been upended. Every cupboard door had been left open, the contents spilled across floor and work surfaces alike. One wooden chair sat against the wall, two others were on their sides in the middle of the mess. Dried puddles of blood littered the floor. They frowned. Dull pain rippled across their forehead. Vague memories of stumbling into the room surfaced, of desperately searching for something to stop the bleeding, stop the pain. It seemed like they'd managed, but not with any degree of finesse. Looking down, they saw they'd managed to bind their left knee and that the bleeding had indeed stopped. It might have been better, however, if they'd managed to use some actual bandaging instead of what seemed to be the bedspread. Yeti sighed, then winced as that brought a bubble of pain. Broken ribs. Perfect. They felt their chest carefully, but couldn't find anything beyond the mass of mottled black and purple bruising. Maybe that was good, maybe that was bad. They didn't know. So they began to move, slowly, carefully, inch by inch, until they sat slumped against the wall, shivering and panting. "Birds?" The word escaped in a plaintive, broken voice. Choked and hoarse, wavering with unshed tears. Nothing answered their question, and there was no sign of either fallen feathers or whitish scat to indicate that they'd even been inside. The irritating, overly loud, and oddly faithful companions had gone. With that thought, the tears finally began to fall.

I'm turning this into a six week challenge because I can. Also, this series of challenges has growth as a central theme, and growth is continuous. Last time around I did indeed experience growth, and with that came knowledge. I'm putting that knowledge to use in this challenge and taking on a more freestyle kind of format. I do have goals, and in-particular I want to get myself into race-shape before I kick my season off at the beginning of January, but I'm taking a slightly more relaxed and reactive approach in order to accommodate the unexpected events that keep cropping up and my emotional and physical reactions to them. I've gone back to paper and pen, planned the next section of this path of mine, and given myself some guidelines in order to help me keep moving forwards. This challenge I will run. This challenge I will do yoga. This challenge I will lift. This challenge I will do body weight exercise. This challenge I will also study, read, knit, draw, cook, clean, and work towards achieving the best balance in life I can. If there is one hard and fast rule that can never be changed then it is this: there is no such thing as an unacceptable or wasted day. Rest is vital, emotionally and physically. GOALS AND GUIDELINES Run, but only on days off (almost always twice a week) Work out, but only before work (and just twice a week for the next six weeks). Also included under this goal is grip working, specifically working on my grip with cold hands. This can be done up to three times a week for the next six weeks. Study, at least half an hour on days off and at least fifteen minutes on workdays (and on work days, always before work) Keep stress low. Make time for fun and creativity every day, especially after work. And that's it. There are more things, but they're like background noise at the moment. The above is what I am primarily focused on. It is my hope that keeping things relaxed like this for a short time will help me make and keep the habits I'm trying to form, and then next time around I can work on SMART goals. In addition to all of that, I will update daily and check-in with others as often as I can. Doing that is one of the things that helped keep me going when things got tough and tiring towards the end of last challenge. Let's see how this plays out.

I sat down today to brainstorm my next challenge and couldnt do it. I was unable to tell what my priorities are. I want to get into Cross Fit again, I want to write book #2 and I want to spend time with my dog in nature. I want to recover from back surgery, I want to get to 99,0kg, I want to prep keto meals, I want to stay away from addictive behavior, I want to be financially stable ( teach more).... I don't see how I can get all of those things done at once since I have mental health issues that make me feel overwhelmed easily, and I am unsure about priorities. So I will use this challenge to try out different versions of a regular week and hopefully at the end I will know what I want a regular week to look like. So this might happen ( or not ) being keto and reaching 99 kilos are non negotiable. I will reach this goal ( if I don't fuck up!!!! ) during this challenge after working on it since June. After that its maintenance for a while. The energy then can go towards other goals. dog walks are also non negotiable and I will do a short walk 5 times a week and a long one 2 times a week.. I have a garden for her to play and pee in, but still, this is the minimum to be a good dog mum! ( weekly steps will be counted towards Walk to Mordor ) If Cross Fit doesn't work out I will probably add to my walking goal and try more hiking with the pup. the bodyweight stuff was hard to do by myself and I suspect I need a group setting to kick ass. So Crossfit ( with scaled down movements!!!! ) it is. I texted my coach and asked him if I can go to class tomorrow and Friday early morning and to make up for it, clean the box for two hours on Wednesday morning. (He had the same deal with me when I first trained there years ago. Its because I cant afford the fee) He hasn't seen my text yet but I hope to be able to start tomorrow and experiment for a week or two or three 😉what a life with Cross Fit on top of all the other stuff would feel like. If I cant do it this week I will do it next week. Am scared shitless about this decision but cant wrap my mind around the question if I can manage this - unless I actually try it out. recovery is also not optional and I will have to develop a stretching routine and include some PT stuff. Maybe: Minimum 1/ week( plus after workouts) To be determined later. concerning smoking and drinking I will repeat my goals from last challenge and a) track my alcohol, b) have a goal to smoke not more than 24 cigarettes / day. I wasn't consistent enough to lower the number last challenge and will stick to 24 until I do it regularly. finances are looking better since I took on more students. Goal now: Be consistent. Also budget wisely and don't order crap! If Im overwhelmed Im allowed to scale down here though... mental health is most important. writing is probably optional although I really really really want to do it. Will try out some writing goal later this challenge. Maybe find some regular writing times??? I will adjust my goals every week and see how I feel experimenting with the different priorities. Maybe I even surprise myself and manage to do all at once in a reasonable sustainable way?? Its great to start from zero. Hopefully its gonna be as fun as I think it will be!

To say this year has not gone to plan would be a colossal understatement. There have been many unexpected turns, and yet somehow things have found a kind of balance. Yes, I've suffered through less than ideal circumstances, but the good that's happened has been equal to that. Life, however, continues to be unpredictable, and that's why I've come creeping back to the Rangers. I spent a lot of time hiding out with the Druids and the Assassins, and that's done me good, but my current direction calls for another change. ... what that direction is however, I do not know. What I do know is that this struggle has not been for nothing. And I also know that if I allow myself to slip back into complacency then I will remain stagnant. I have the means, motivation, and time to put serious effort into improving myself, improving my fitness, improving my way of life. I'm not the person I was even two or three months ago, much less the person I was last year, and that's a change I welcome and will encourage as best I can. It'll be a bit of a scattered approach to begin with as I find my footing, but over the coming months I'm hoping to figure things out. Goal One: The Houseplant Principle It's easy. For a plant to grow, it needs the right fuel. Sunlight, water, maybe some plant food, and kind words. I need to relearn the basics to help me grow. This is stuff I should be aiming for on a daily basis. Sunlight: I started going out for daily walks again a few weeks back and my therapist is delighted and insistent I continue. Even if the weather isn't great, out I go Hydration: Two litre minimum, at least half must be water Food: Three meals per day. No limitations as lock down limitations have taken many choices from me Kind words: My default is negative. My default is to blame and berate myself. While I can't stop that cold, I can catch it and question it. It's far from a measurable goal, but something to aim for regardless Goal Two: The Scout Variant I live next to a forest now. That makes me incredibly happy. It also makes a convenient location to walk and run. The former I have no issue with, the latter I've been avoiding. Well, no more. But we'll start small. Two runs per week. 6km minimum distance in total, so 3km per run, which makes for a manageable target Goal Three: The Once Per Day Rule And this is where all other exercise goes. There must be some form of exercise done every day. It doesn't have to be a full workout by any means, especially if it's a day I'm running, but it has to be something. Yoga, bodyweight work, lifting, mobility, kettlebells, anything. I'm not all that bothered about progression right now, I'm aiming to keep myself moving and figure out what my body is happiest doing. Whatever is done must be tracked. Written notes to be taken at the time, summary to be posted with update Goal Four: The Talking Method Self-isolation has ever been a damaging coping mechanism for me. Then the country went into lock down and that became my way of life against my will. And I found my voice in a way I have never experienced before. I can't take all the credit for that, I had a lot of help, but it happened and I don't want to lose that. So I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing away from here and just add the forums back in by way of daily check-ins. I'll try for every morning until such time as I get broadband back, which isn't until June. Limited to phone data until then, which isn't great. Also not having much fun trying to post using my phone, I've yet to get the hang of it! Not-Quite-a-Goal Five: The List Not only do I have a small collection of projects and things that I want to do, but I basically live in a building site right now and I am absolutely loving it. Nothing is finished and there is always something to do. Admittedly I'm limited by this extended lock down, but there is no reason I can't actually put some thought into the progression of The List. Again, not something really measurable, but it will help me keep track of what I'm doing and when and how. For the moment I've tried to narrow it down to things I can do during the lock down. So far I have the following: Finish painting the living room walls. They've had one coat, they need a second Sand down the skirting board, door, anything that's been given a coating of glossy of plain white paint Buy and paint at least one bookcase. Currently 300+ books are stacked on the floor Check all bathrooms, reseal if needed Fix the commuter bike or build a Frankenbike hybrid, something that will be enough to get me to and from work Sort out bins, ensure all recycling bins are cleared of rubbish left by the previous tenants and other people Get rid of the endless piles of cardboard overwhelming the hall and kitchen Find or buy drill parts, put up the bedroom curtain rail Modify bedroom curtains to make them blackout or near enough Repot plants and rearrange so everyone gets the amount of sunlight they need Finish sofa blanket (also acquire a sofa) Organise workspace, go through paperwork and destroy what doesn't need to be kept Fix desktop computer, salvage working parts of it's beyond repair Sort out the odds and ends box as best as possible with the current limited storage options List to be amended as needed. And that's that. Simple goals, some more guidelines than anything else, for an admittedly complicated time of life. I'm starting from zero week (and measuring my weeks from Monday to Sunday) as I think it's for the best that I don't delay.

Hello Rangers! I have a new side kick! Q was born 5 weeks early, surprising the heck out of us, and spent 1 week in the NICU. Today's his actual due date. Pregnancy was absolutely miserable, and got worse as time passed, and I'm SO DAMN GLAD to not be pregnant anymore. Baby's been pretty darn good so far, and not nearly as troublesome as other Q's out there... And he's much cuter (obvi) Plan-- Body: Shower daily, plus Exercise, at least one of the following PT exercises at home, and at the office once weekly Yoga via the studio's zoom classes, and possibly on my own Dance via the studio's zoom classes, as long as I scale it and don't hurt myself Barn - groundwork just to start Yardwork - lots of leaves to rake, sticks to pick up, and need to prep the raised beds for vegetables Walk outside when the weather is decent (+/- stroller and Q) Mind: Meditate - Headspace or general mindfulness Gratitude Read (currently The Calculating Stars and An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth) House chores Soul: Connect with friends and family Do something creative Play with my oracle cards This is all just variations/extensions of my routine for the January and February, so it should be doable. Mr Vibrant went "back to work" today - but he's working from home for at least the next two weeks, probably more. I'm on maternity leave until June, and am giving myself through the summer to determine if I'm for real going back to work or if I'm going to stay at home with my side kick. Also plan: check in here at least twice a week, don't just skip out like I've done with most challenges. Report on good food choices. Share arts and cute baby photos if requested. Also also plan: keep mental health in check during social distancing and all this shit, by doing the above. Edited to change out exercises

I actually had my challenge post for this challenge written out 3 weeks ago. I had a plan, I was going to do things, and it was going to be awesome. And then the world turned upside down. I'm working from home, the gym is closed, the boys are doing school from home, and everything is canceled. Everything. Is. Canceled. Which means, if I don't want to go do my exercise activities, I don't have to and I won't feel guilty about it (because I'm letting my team mates down, or wasting money by not going to sword class)! How long have I been posting about how exhausted I am? The answer is years. I have been pushing myself to (and sometimes beyond) the limit for years. I have said, more than once, "I wonder how well I could play derby if I wasn't tired?" So I'm going to take this enforced down-time as the gift it is and sit on my butt to see if I can actually recover enough that I don't feel run down all the time. No schedules (beyond work, so, not completely doing nothing), no plans, just taking it easy and listening to my body. If I feel like going for a walk, or skating around the block or something, I'm going to do it. But nothing strenuous, unless I really want to. My one and only goal for this challenge is to drink enough water. Because I have been terrible about that lately. I'm not going to go crazy with my diet, but other than not eating things that will make me sick, I'm not going to worry about that right now, either. So yeah, I'm gonna get my recovery on!

Everything has a tendency to feel fresh and new and exciting when a new year dawns, more so when a new decade comes upon us. The temptation to throw every hoarded goal out there for people to see is overwhelming. ...but I picked this year to be very, very quiet. Recovery is first and foremost in my mind, both physical and mental. Admittedly the latter more than the former, but the former does help massively with the latter. the goals [opening tasks] Some things need to be done no matter how much I dislike the idea, and that is to figure out where I am with just about everything. Measurements, photos, and any other data I think I might need. All needs to be collected and put in the battle log during zero week. food I've managed to create a somewhat successful weekly meal prep habit and I am confident that will hold. The next thing to tackle is my depression eating, or rather, depression lack-of-eating. Hot having anything other than a quick snack or even nothing at all isn't a good thing at the best of times, and it's outright damaging when you're working eleven hour shifts six days a week, sometimes more. So to begin with I have two targets to hit daily: 2000 calories 2L water That's it for this round. Observations will be made. Adjustments will happen next time. fitness Having racing out of the picture for the next twelve months means I get to set my own pace and spend a lot more time on building from the ground up. Which I need. I'm sure at one point my body was fairly well put together, but I have broken it a lot since then, and neglected it even more so. So, again, going for very simple things, focusing more on habit building than anything else. Fifteen minutes daily mobility Four yoga sessions weekly Two workouts weekly A single walk weekly That, at least, I know I can fit into my schedule no matter how hectic work gets. wellbeing The goals are, again, very simple, as is the why of it all. I'm not in a good place. Actually, I'm in a fairly awful place, and it's incredibly difficult to keep pulling myself up and out of every awful place I end up in. It's tiring. I want to get back to a place where I can believe life has something to offer other than hurt and misery and isolation. It's going to take time, but I think I'm stubborn enough to stick it out. Nightly meditation to clear my mind Morning meditation to calm any fear or anxiety present Daily positive affirmations (do not need to be unique ones every day) Do something creative daily Talk daily. Even if I feel like I have nothing to say, even if it's only a bare bones account of my day and not much more. Whatever it takes to keep from silence Ten minutes of cleaning/daily household work Very much back to basics, focusing on both what I enjoy doing and what will help me maintain balance in my day to day life. Admittedly this whole thing is somewhat frustrating. Being set back by a major breakdown isn't exactly a new thing, but I usually don't have plans that I'm on the verge of putting into action when it happens. Part of re-working this challenge and actually going ahead with it is to help myself realise that holding onto the guilt and the anger over it is at best useless and at worst self-destructive. Ideally, I'd like to be ready to push on with my original plans at the end of this cycle, but I'm acutely aware that this challenge covers a period of tricky and often turbulent time for me. So I'll settle for holding steady. Really, I'm continuing my festive theme of survival. Got to get a handle on that before I can do anything else. So that's what I'll do.

metanoia (n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self, or way of life Or all of the above. It’s another step along the way to become the person I want to be, the kind of person I know I can be, if I give myself a chance and enough support to grow. A large chunk of this journey has been moved to my battle log as it’s more a day-to-day, goalless kind of thing. Though that does technically mean I have to find myself some goals for these challenges. Like so: Goal One: The Pistol I used to be able to do pistol squats. Only a couple on each side, but still… My progress in that area has reversed drastically over the years. I can just about wobble to the ground on each leg, but it is a very shaky wobble and I cannot rise up on either leg without ending up on the floor. As far as I recall, I managed to figure out pistols the first time around through brute force and ignorance. There will be a fair amount of that this time around, but there will also be some specific mobility and balance work. I can do this, I just need to help my body remember how. Aim: Do a whole pistol squat on at least one leg (more likely to be the right leg) by the end of the challenge (ambitious, not the end of the world if it doesn’t happen, but I’m determined to make sure it does!) Goal Two: Downward Facing Dog My heels do not now, nor have they ever, touched the ground in the downward facing dog pose. All signs point to my not-so-great mobility and general lack of flexibility. This is where the specific mobility work mentioned in the first goal comes in, and I’m hoping that since there are two outcomes resting on it that it will encourage me to actually get it done properly. Aim: Three times weekly leg mobility practice Goal Three: Vegetables Seriously. I am not getting enough in and it has a noticeable impact on my insides and my energy levels. This is basically a repeat of my food goal last challenge. Aim: Five to ten portions of vegetables daily Side Project: Guitar Something to force me to have some fun, even on the days I feel like crap. I can kind of play guitar. Very badly. I’ve wanted to improve for ages but have never actually made it a priority. Until now. I’m committing to ten minutes a day, five days a week minimum. Doesn’t matter what I’m doing so long as I’m playing for ten minutes. And that’s that. Keeping it simple goals-wise in an effort to help myself actually stick to things (as well as continuing the things I’ve tried to incorporate into my life already), especially when life gets rough and the stress climbs higher. I’m going to also aim for five small updates per week to try and keep me a little more social and connected.