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Lincoln's Log Respawn Report Stardate [-4]94697.4 First off, hi. Fist time posting here. Usually I post in my Daily Battle log cleverly titled "Lincoln's Log," hence the header with the stardate of the beginning of this post. I suppose some background is in order. I've found my biggest road block in my health and fitness journey, and actually in all things that I struggle with, stems from my at the moment thoughts and feelings towards romantic relationships. More accurately in my case, my lack of said facet in my life. I'm going to be 24 this Friday (not that big of a deal for me, I actually dread my birthday since I'm an introvert), and I've been single for the last eight years or so. When I say single, I mean REALLY single. Like I've gone on two or three dates in that time span. Part of this is due to my depression cycles. During them, I find no redeeming qualities in myself. Actually the best thing I've found to help me out of them is a quote from Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic 2, where Darth Traya tells the character that she can tell they are a Jedi by their posture. Helps for some reason, I don't know. Anyway, yesterday I faced my fifth rejection in the time I've been looking for a relationship. I suppose my self confidence is improving, as three of those rejections have occurred within the last 14 months, and all three of those aforementioned dates have been within the last 10 months. I'm getting used to being rejected honestly. Over time, my recovery rate from the initial depression onset has gotten faster. I'm almost healed now. But, for a long time my fitness and health journey has been at least in part fueled by my wish to start a new relationship. With my rather abysmal success rate in that field, I'm starting to drift away from relationships in general (I'm almost to the point where I prefer to be alone), so I've been searching for some new thing to guide my drive to succeed. Other than looking like, and maybe eventually cosplaying as Alex Louis Armstrong from FMA Brotherhood, I'm in an admitted deadspot (though cosplaying as the most manliest of men that I've seen in Anime might very well be motivation enough). So yeah, there's my first respawn report. Hopefully I won't post too many of these, but everyone needs to be heard once in a while. September 12, 2017 14:04:36 End of Log