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Hi there. It's been a weird couple months. The concussion symptoms are still with me, but the physical whiplash symptoms are abating. The headaches are less frequent. I can do a little screen time each day. It's time for me to return to the Light, even if it has to be slowly. Emerging back into my life is strange and new -- so much about me has changed since the autumnal equinox. I'm looking forward to having you along for the journey. Thank you for walking this piece with me as I watch for the Way to open.

Antidepressants and unhealthy habits have pretty much put my libido in a Saharan pit, so, hey guys, here's a super fun challenge. Of course, this being a public forum, I'll be working hard to keep it to innuendo and limit the juicy details. Food: - track on MFP every day - 10 points for every day without sugar - 10 points for every healthy meal - better hydrate... 10 points for every bottle of water consumed. - limit to 1 diet coke a day Brain: - read at least 30 minutes before bed every night House: - clean for 30 minutes every day as soon as I get home from work - 10 points for cleaning in lingerie Relationship (this was hard to make into smart goals because it involves more than one other person's needs and schedules): - 10 points for going out on a date - 10 points for hanging out together doing stuff other than watching TV - 50 points if I finish reading The Book about poly stuff even though it is dense and dull - 100 points if I you know what with the you know who in the you know where Exercise: - yoga on rest days to be sexy and flexy - 50 squats a day - darebee workout program for amazonian sex goddess warrior body - 10 points for every swim in the school pool Loot - 50 points: facial - 100 points: massage - 150 points: dinner at Brown House - 200 points: dinner at Patty's -250 points: free pass day

This picture always seems to resonate with me because - well - it's hard to explain, but I'll try. I wish that I would meet a girl who would see past all the pain, scars, and anxiety I have. I wish that I would meet a girl who would see past all of the defensive walls I put up when things start to look up. You see, I met someone - someone I really am starting to like and I can feel those defenses coming up again. Those feelings of "wanting" to push her away. I don't really want to push her away, but I start to do these things anyways. I know it's because I'm scared of getting hurt again. I know it's my fault, but I don't know how to fix it. All my friends say I'm a great guy - kind, intelligent, funny, and that I'll find someone. But here I sit, the most confident I've been in my life, after a night of insomnia because I'm terrified that I'm going to push her away again. When will someone stop seeing the Hulk and start seeing Bruce Banner? When will I stop seeing the Hulk and start seeing Bruce Banner?

For this challenge, I will be working on conquering the aspects of Wands, the second tarot suit I am exploring. Wands are, depending on the deck, connected to Fire, and so to things like action, passion, love or lust, light and knowledge (through mythologies like that of Prometheus and other fire bringers), etc. Wands are often conflict cards in a reading, as well, and so there is that aspect, of opposition and difficulty. As far as action is concerned, one can have all the potential in the world, but it takes the actual activity or energy of taking the first step to unleash and realize that potential. Without energy, potential can stagnate and rot. So, I think with this challenge, I will get back to doing what works, which is mostly the actual doing part. Fire is an element that is tough for me (being a naturally Earth-oriented person), so I think that played in to my difficulty last challenge. Because the two decks I have actually look at Wands differently (the Sorcerer's deck connects Wands with Air, not Fire), I'm only looking at one deck for this challenge. The Queen of Wands here is depicted on a throne, bearing a torch-like wand and accompanied by a lioness. Lionesses are the hunters of the pride, the providers and the nurturers; the maternal instincts of a lioness are legendary. I think these are also qualities of the Queen of Wands - a provider, but a fierce one. Outsiders dare not test her, and her love is more focused on protection than nurturing. Note, too, that although a lioness is an untamed animal, in the card she is chained. I think this points to the unbridled passion of the Queen being, well, bridled. Energy without control can be destructive - think of lightning or a forest fire. Yet controlled fire brings us technology, warmth, and light. Be sure that one's passion has a direction or a purpose or it will simply burn itself out haphazardly. Finally, the Queen is alone here, with no sign of civilization - the Queen of Pentacles was accompanied by both herd animals and crops. I think this speaks again to a more wild, untamed nature, but also to the isolation and independence or self-reliance of this archetype. To start this part of the journey, it is important to look at the Ace of Wands, the beginning and end of the journey. On this card, the character (Medea's father? Greek god?) is clearly a ruler. Not only is he crowned, but he also holds the globe in his hand. This particular depiction shows that he is master of his kingdom, whether it be Olympus or simply an earthly kingdom. He bears the golden fleece, which is also a symbol of kingship, as well as a powerful magical item (especially healing). He is in a lofty area, at the top of mountains (fitting for Olympus), which again stresses that independence or self-reliance of the Queen of Wands. It is strange to be the master of one's domain already at the start of the journey, but perhaps that has to do with conquering the domains found within oneself, or conversely, of looking outside of one's past experiences or familiar territory to something grander. For me, I think this has more to do with being more self-reflective and looking at my goals maybe more long-term - see the big picture, so to speak. So, to become the Queen of Pentacles, I must: Take action and energize my goals by Exercising 5 days/week - Belly dancing, walking, and weight training. I will do at least 30 minutes, but up to an hour when I can. (30 parts) Tracking my caloric intake every day and keep within the limit set with my doctor (1,800 cal/day) - Alcoholic intake only permitted socially. Snacking only permitted between lunch and dinner. Per my doctor, I'm also watching cholesterol. I get a pass on game nights. (30 parts) Limiting TV watching to 2 hours on weekday nights, no later than 10pm (and no FB after 10pm) - TV watching makes me less inclined to actually *do* anything. (30 parts) Taking my meds - Take morning pill, and evening pill (84 parts) Be self-reflective by Meditating 5 times per week - Meditation allows me to clear my mind so that I can reflect with an unclouded perspective. (30 parts) Getting to bed by 11pm on weekday nights - Being over-tired also affects my ability to reflect on my internal state and govern myself thoughtfully. (24 parts) Committing to spiritual study 2 hours per week - Spiritual study allows me to look at some big picture questions, including what kind of person I want to be and where I want my life to go. (12 parts) Be self-reliant by Planning my expenses and tracking free money for each pay period - Budgeting like this prevents me from spending foolishly and being unable to take care of needs. I need to also start budgeting for eating out when I know my schedule will keep me on the road, in combination with those times I am able to take food from home. (3 parts) Plan for trip to CT in October. Need to budget for airfare, hotel, and other miscellaneous items. Removed - I'm getting the money from family, so no longer part of the challenge. Bridle my passion by Balancing my commitment to myself and my decision to start dating - Filling up my schedule with going out, etc., really hindered my commitment last challenge. Alone time is really important to me or I feel over-committed and resistant to doing planned items. As much as I like the people I'm meeting, my health and wellness should be the priority in my life. point values, etc. Action - 174 parts; +2 Dex, +2 Sta, +1 Con +2 Str Introspection - 66 parts; +2 Wis, +1 Cha, +1 Sta Independence - 4 parts; +2 Wis Balance - 1 part; +2 Wis I may be adding some stuff about passion and dating on this. And I'll get photos of the cards, too. But I'm back - time to get back on track! Another one of those fun "coincidences": the face cards in the Tarot - King, Queen, Knight, etc. - are often representative of real people, and can even depict how they look. The Queen of Wands is often a red-headed woman with a fiery personality. I am naturally a brunette, but just colored my hair a shade of brown that looks red in the right light, which is actually pretty close to the color of red that is on the Queen depicted in this deck. I unintentionally, and literally, just made myself physically the Queen of Wands. I got this.

OK, it wasn't very quick, and I realized that my question basically boils down to "Should I message this woman that I've messaged before on Facebook AND reply to things on her wall, or should I just reply to things on her wall?" Still, there's some background here. OK, I'mma make this quick: I lack knowledge of some basic social norms, ques, and conventions. Particularly in American/U.S. culture, even though I'm American. I used to feel uncomfortable around most people, except for online where I didn't really give a crap and am anonymous. Ever since I went to college, I've actually been even LESS comfortable and LESS trusting of other people, and now even have a hard time socializing on the internet, except for when I'm around people I feel like I have something in common with, like, and can trust or have some connection with, both online and offline, like here, or in my STEM minority group at my university. So, that being said, long story short, I met and became well-acquainted with (I don't want to call her a friend just yet) someone at the university that I like a lot, think is a cool person, and I have at least some things in common with. When we met, we actually exchanged email addresses, numbers, and are friends on Facebook, and we've talked about different things a few times, and went to an event that she hosted. I also shared pictures of another event she suggested I should go to. During the time leading up to the event SHE was hosting, I texted her about it and also about some of the more philosophical things we were talking about, and we also talked a bit about each other's backgrounds and interest on the way to and from the event. I also got to meet some of her friends and got along with them very well, it seems. A short time after the event, I asked her how she was doing. She said she was fine, and was just hoping for finals to be over, and asked me how I was doing, and I told her I was making it. Now, this sounds friendly and innocent and straightforwards enough, if I'm going by my logic, but I can't easily read people through text messages. So, I'm not sure if that's a good sign of keeping connections with her, or if the fact that it didn't lead to another conversation is a sign that she wasn't interested in talking to me anymore. Usually, I like to take pride in handling my personal business myself, but usually when I try to talk to girls I like, I FFF**K up really bad, and I really don't want to mess up with this person, especially since it's not common for me to really make a good connection with and impression on someone. So, I asked my group leader, who is also a woman, about what to do next, and she said that because of what this person is involved in, and because of her age (since she's roughly a decade older than me) she'd rather not get distracted from her goals or mission, and she also doesn't want to influence me too much. At the same time, although I have left a good impression on her, she still doesn't know me all that well, and has to be careful to protect herself. So my group leader suggested that I should go very slow with this girl that I met: Stop texting her for now, and only communicate through Facebook by commenting on some of the things she's talking about and is involved in, and if she isn't really posting anything at the time, ask her about how her plans are coming along, or what new and interesting things she has heard of. And then, once school starts back and I'm back on campus, then I can ask to tag along for some other events, and maybe after that, ask her if she wants to have lunch or something, and go from there. Now, me, I don't really like talking to people through Facebook. I guess you can say that I'm old-fashioned. I don't like how Facebook puts all of my business up on it, and I'm a bit worried about how some of my posts and lack of activity on my wall might reflect me. I like seeing and commenting on the things that she shares on her wall, but it always feels like a sort of impersonal and passive, and I'd rather just talk to her directly through online messages, but since they are private, I wonder if that would send the wrong message...even though we have messaged each other about different things before...granted that was mostly about things that were of interest to both of us and related to her profession...which is at least some form of communication. And if I post on the things that she posts, I'd still be talking to her about things that are of interest to her. Also, on top of that, I still don't have all of my basic social skills down, and then by going into Facebook, it's like I'm entering an even MORE unfamiliar social frontier with totally different boundaries and norms. After talking about this and forcing myself to think through it, I think I know what I should do, and that's to stick to my leader's suggestion and just occasionally comment on the things that she posts, and occasionally (if it isn't overstepping any boundaries) message her through Facebook asking how are things going with her (if it isn't overstepping her boundaries). Then when the semester starts back up, I'll ask her if I can help with or get involved with anything she's doing and continue to communicate with her and gain her trust over the semester. I'm eager to talk to her, but I usually lose touch with most people I know during the summer until I come back, anyways, and to not talk to someone until I return to a place where we physically both are just seems more natural and "old-fashioned" to me. I'm eager to build a stronger connection with her, but I've learned from the past that focusing too much on one person and making such a big deal about them is not healthy, and it usually just scares that person away, and if I scare her away, there will be no going back. F**king hormones. So, does it sound like I'm following proper social boundaries? Especially when talking to a girl I like? Because it feels like I'm walking on eggshells or trying to start a fire and keep it alive in the wilderness.

Hello rebels. As a new recruit on these boards but a paleo diet follower since mid January this year I've got a bit of an issue. I started eating paleo after discovering Nerd Fitness back in January. It's really changed my life for the better and cleaned up my eating habits. I don't stick to it 100%, merely I try to be dilligent during the week and on weekends I let myself have some less than healthy options without going overboard. Back in January I was 220 pounds. At 6 feet tall that put my BMI at 29.84, borderline "obese" status. Without really doing any exercise at all and just focusing on diet I've lost 35 pounds and am now at 185 pounds as of this morning. This puts my BMI at 25.09 which is a hair above the healthy/overweight line. I'm super proud of my progress and so is my girlfriend and my family. However, I'm hearing a lot of the same things from all of them. "You look great! But don't lose any more." "That's awesome, but know when to stop. It's not healthy for you" "I'm worried if you lose any more you'll become a shrimp" My girlfriend has even expressed concerns that I might be developing an eating disorder and getting too fixated on losing weight. Fitness and gaining muscle is part of my long term goals but for now I'm still focusing on getting down to a healthy BMI and trying to shed the last bit of excess body fat I have. Maybe I am a little shrimpy under all the excess fat I was carrying around, but I'm not sure how to progress here. I eat lunch and dinner every day and mostly make my own food with good clean protein and lots of veggies. This is all uncharted territory for me. I haven't been this body composition since I was a little kid. I know Steve always says appearance is a consequence of fitness and I shouldn't focus too much on appearance but it seems everyone around me is. I don't really know where to go from here or how to feel about all this. Is it healthy for me to still be losing weight? How do I explain to them that my new appearance isn't unhealthy? How do I avoid becoming a "skinny shrimp"?

I have no idea what forum would be the most appropriate for this topic, so if I've placed it in the wrong one then I apologise to the mod who'll have to move it. Something that has been weighing on my mind a long time is the issues that come up in a romantic relationship between two people when one decides to make a radical lifestyle change that is not embraced by the other. For this thread, the example will be one partner chosing to become healthy while the other refuses. I have, am, going through it and a friend is too. I am just curious to hear the opinions and experiences of those on here. Some of the issues my friend and I have faced include not being able to do everything with our partners. For example, rock climbing, kayaking, and running. We encounter a lot of couples doing these things together and we both feel a little envious. Another issue is worrying about our partners' health long term. Will we have to help them face diabetes and heart disease? Trying to find common activities becomes hard. Similar to the first issue, but a bit different and more of an issue in my friend's relationship. He wants to go out more, run, hike, camp, etc... She prefers eating out, watching reality TV, and drinking with friends. At the same time, it is important to be sympathetic to our partners in these changes. When we entered our relationships, we had a lifestyle that was more in sync. We changed. It's something we did. For them, it's like waking up with a whole new life partner. Watching TV, shopping, drinking, eatting out, etc.. all this stuff was great a couple years ago. What have your experiences been? Going through something like this now? Thoughts on the subject?

For anyone who's interested, an article in the NYT, mainly directed at women, about how the "fat talk" of our day-to-day relationships can be damaging. I like this quote: "But putting a stop to fat talk is difficult ... in part because it feels airless and scripted and seems to offer the responder no avenue to change the dynamic without threatening the relationship." Here is the article: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/27/fat-talk-compels-but-carries-a-cost/

Hey Everybody! MangoTsunami here, completely new to the community. Here are my stats: Age: 23 Height: 5'6'' Weight: 185 Pant Size: 13/14 Related Health Issues: Hypothyroidism (screws up the metabolism and causes weight gain), Chronic Plaque Psoriasis and Arthritis, and Clinical Depression (treated with Zoloft) Why am I here? I joined after my boyfriend told me - in the nicest way possible- that we'd have a better sex life and he'd be more attracted to me if I got in shape. Of course, I was a little sensitive about it first, and frankly very distraught, but then I realized how much I wanted this my whole life...to have a body I love. He is very involved in fitness (and as an actor, is very image-conscious) and told me about how much being in great shape changes and improves your quality of life. After a long talk with him on the beach, I felt inspired to get fit not only for me, but for me. To become strong, slim, and self-actualized. So, for the January 7th- February 18th 6 week Challenge, here are my 3 Diet/Fitness Goals 1) Cut out sugar from my diet, unless it is from fruit. 2) Work out 3-5 times a week. Special focus on strength training and cardio. [subgoal: be able to do 5 pullups with ease] 3) Stop emotional eating, only eat when you are hungry, like you are supposed to. Life Improvement Goal 1) Get a job to pay the bills. To pay off my rent, my hospital bills, my expired license, and so I can have health insurance! Thanks for reading guys. It's nice to know theres a community of people who can support me and that I can also support along the way. Let me know what you think, feedback, if you have any tips, etc. And post some of your goals! I'd love to know MangoTsunami