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Last September after joining this site, I began making changes in my life by dutifully following and completing quests, I started seeing and feeling positive changes. Unfortunately, it did not last when i found myself sabotaging my own efforts. Two months have passed quickly and it's now November, I had another talk with myself and am more positive that when I restart my journey, I would be able to stick to my plans and finally achieve my goals.

What am I doing with my life? Am I the woman God wants me to be? Do I like the woman I've become? I have been asking myself those questions a lot. I have a few ideas how to make myself a better woman but I don't seem to have the desire to stick with it. I have wanted to get healthy for a long time but the drive to do so disappears when I don't get the results I want. You see, three years ago something happened that would change my life. I got pregnant. I gained 10 pounds that put me from underweight to the just right weight. I was feeling pretty good, as long as I stayed away from candy and ate lots of meat. Then I lost my baby. I turned to food to help me overcome my grief. I put on 50 pounds. I was overweight. I was miserable. I felt like a failure. I was reminded of my failure every time I looked in the mirror. After a while, I decided I would lose the weight and I would make myself feel better. But I couldn't make myself better. Not the way I was trying. My metabolism changed after my miscarriage. I lose fat a lot slower than I used to. In 3 months of working out, I would lose 1 pound. Before I got pregnant, I would work out for 3 months and lose 15 pounds. I would exercise regularly to keep myself at a healthy weight. (When I got married, everything was so crazy that I stopped working out and lost weight due to stress. ) My body has changed and I need to change how I lose weight. But every time I failed to lose weight, it would further cement the idea that I was a failure. But that changes today. Over the past year, I've been learning how to change my lifestyle so that I will lose weight and become healthy. For the last 3 months, I've been trying to find something that will help keep me motivated to lose the excess weight I have put on. I have finally found it. My motivation is my future children. I want to be able to teach them how to be healthy while being a good example. I want to be an inspirational woman whose kids look at her and say "I wanna be like that when I'm grown up." I will become that woman. However, I lose weight slowly. I won't let that stop me. I'm going to change my diet & start working out. I'm going to make small changes at first. I need to lay down a good foundation before I try to build a city of healthy habits. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day. And I'm certainly not going to be able to become perfectly healthy overnight. I am on a journey to become the woman I was meant to be. As I prepare for this journey, I have a few goals I hope to meet in the next 6 weeks. They are as follows: 1. Eat three Paleo meals each day. I love pasta and bread, but I know that I am my healthiest without it. So I'm going to try to eat nothing but Paleo for the next 6 weeks. I know there will be days where I can't eat Paleo because I often come down with "carb flu" when I go carb free, but I'm going to try my hardest to eat nothing but Paleo. 2. Read 20 pages of a book. I need to keep myself mentally sharp. After all, what's the point being physically fit if I can't think? 3. Workout one day a week. I know most people say to workout 3-4 times a week, but I need to focus on my diet more than my workout. I used to focus on exercising while eating whatever I wanted. Since my metabolism works differently now, I want to focus on what I consume first. After I have mastered the art of eating healthy, I will increase the number of days I exercise. 4. Blog/ vlog once a week. This is to keep me accountable and to keep a record of my progress. After all, it's hard to give up when I can see the difference. 5. Beat the Deku Palace in Majora's Mask. I've been stuck on this temple for three months. This is mostly because I messed up and I don't want to restart it. But I really want to finish Majora's Mask. I need to finish this game because it's a harder game than I am used to playing. If I can prove to myself that I can complete something that I find difficult, I will be more confident and able to tackle more difficult challenges in the near future. ******Grading system****** I will be grading myself at the end of this challenge. My grade will depend on what percent of each of goal I complete. In the past, I would add dexterity or wisdom to my character sheet. It didn't really make me want to complete my goals and it made the challenges feel like a chore. So I decided to give myself a physical reward. I picked three things I need but keep putting off saving for. For each of my five goals I complete, $20 will go to one of the three items I am saving for. I am saving up for a computer, a wooden dresser, and a tv. It will take me a while to save up for these; however, I can choose how quickly or how slowly I save up for them. A 100% = $20 B 75% = $15 C 50% =$10 D 25% = $5

So let me do something cool here... something I have been doing over on my battle log. BAM~ Download the template here: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14003151/Template.docx Or in .doc (not tested): http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14003151/Template.doc Fonts used: Imprint MT Shadow & Agency FB. Feel free to mess around with it, or use as is. Would love to see if you use it Attributes Improve flexibility and skills: +2 DEX Improve strength: +5 STR Improve endurance: +5 STA Improve eating habits: +1 CON +2 WIS It's actually about the bigger missions, the subs will be upgraded as I complete them Bare minimum for the challenge is completing 1 sub! Okay now that that's settled. I don't have a life goal, my life's a mess and I'm getting it back in order... my bigger problem is my health slacking. Yes I'm a little late this time, but you know, I just got my head back on straight. This'll be my fourth challenge... we shall not talk about the past three. I'm here now. I track my weight 2 times a day, because I'm crazy. This morning it was 80.5 kg. My aim is between 75 and 80 kg, but I don't care very much. Once a month I steal borrow my parents' scale for the official stats (theirs is more accurate/advanced). Every 25th I'll measure those. So 25th of February I weighted 80.4 kg, with a BF% of 30. (for comparison my scale gives a number 300 grams more than my parents' scale ) And that's all the stats you're gonna get! If you're interested... let me just do some Mass Effect RPing. Also see my twitter account @HuntressBeckia, where I will be actually RPing with some friends (in the near future probably) Beckia let out a sigh and turned off her console. She really had to stop goofing around and get real. "If you can't be serious about your training, then you should just leave the program altogether", is what the trainers had said. Well she admitted they were probably right, but it's not that she didn't want to be a commando, the training was just so hard and her console so easy. No more excuses, they're boring anyway. It was time to get up and do the work. Every day, as much as she could manage. (yeah I don't write long pieces of text... yet?)