Search the Community

Introduction: I'm doing my second Ranger challenge after over two years in the Warriors. Last challenge, I was focussed on keeping together my diet and exercise after moving back home to Indiana to reboot life and get a fresh start. I managed to stay active and got back on the low carb and meaty glory of the ketogenic diet. Doing so I managed to lose about 5-10 pounds. I want to maintain this rate of weight loss. Right at the beginning of the challenge I start my new job. I'm working a temporary position at an Amazon warehouse. I'll be on my feet for 10 hour shifts, 40-50 hours a week... on the night shift. This is a big transition from my grad student desk and computer work and being home most of every day. So I've got to adapt to the new level of activity and being nocturnal. Further, I want to maintain my barbell training and use it to maintain strength and burn extra calories. This is going to put a lot of stress on my body so managing stress will also be key. Motivation: "There are only three types of motivation: money, fear, and hunger." -- Ron Swanson Goal 1: Ketogenic nutrition. First off, avoid those carbs. I might be tempted to indulge given the constant energy output, but I need to keep them gone. I need to pay attention to snacks, supplements, and water to make sure I stay well adapted. I'm staying round the clock on this one. 42 pts. total. Goal 2: Maintain a regular workout routine. I so, so, so want to pull a 4 plate deadlift, but... I'm cutting on the standard ketogenic diet and a lot of my energy (and pateience) is going to be used up at work so heavy work will be limited if even existent. I'll be mostly doing barbell complexes and circuits 30 min a piece at least 3x / week. Shoot for 4x, and hope for 5x. Partly to burn extra calories, So do at least 18 days to pass, up to 30 lifting days if I feel awesome. Partly to burn extra calories, but I just don't want to break the habit of lifting something regularly. Goal 3: Mobility "Doctor: Do you have any history of mental illness in your family? Ron Swanson: I had an Uncle who once did yoga." I neglect the shit out of mobility work. I'm going to use my work schedule to stay on top of this. Just before/after work and during breaks, do some stretching. I know I'll be dying to stretch out my calves when I'm on my feet all day. I'll aim for an average of 3 every work day to pass. Shoot for 4x, and again hope for 5x. I'll allow bonus points for before/after workouts. Life Goal 1: Makin' bacon. "Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor." -- Swanson Pyramid of Greatness Basically, the more I work, the more money I get in the form of bonuses during this holiday period. No need to grade. The bonus is its own goal. But I'll keep track of how much I'm getting to stay encouraged. I don't like the idea of posting my own wages, so I'll track this in a fictitious currency, the #, as in # of bacon. I currently owe #1796. Potentially, I can earn #470 after I take out gas money, food money, and the regular bills. That's not as much as I hoped for (when is it ever) but that's quite a dent for 6 weeks. I'll grade this goal as a percentage of the #470 paid off. Sidequest 1: The Swanson Pyramid of Greatness. Mainly for shits and giggles... I wrote a short program that randomly selects the entries on the "Swanson pyramid of greatness." There are 45 entries. So if I start on Friday we can do all of them. I say we because I'm inviting you to do them all. I'll do my best to post them daily. Part of this is for accountability to get me to post daily. I think a big part of the last challenge's success was that I was on here (almost) every day posting. So I'll post a random selection from the pyramid and incorporate the "lesson" into my day somehow with the goal of inspiring and improving the efforts toward my goals. The entries are: This is just for fun and these are open to wild interpretations. No points awarded, but they should inspire "Greatness" which will incur improvements in my efforts. Sidequest 2: Draw the Nerds. "Creativity is for people who wear glasses and enjoy lying." -- Ron Swanson Last challenge I had some fun by drawing this owl portrait which also had Rurik in it: That was all part of renewing my interest in drawing and painting and pursuing art again. I thought it would be fun for this challenge to make more drawings inspired by the people of the rebellion. You people inspire me, so I thought I'd show you the fruits of that inspiration. A good artist is well practiced in human portraits/figure, landscape, and still-life. I don't have time or money to take classes or anything. So I'll be lurking on your threads and drawing from your Swolfies and PR pics, snapshots from your adventures, and your food porn. Don't worry. No progress photos will be drawn. They are for personal assessment and not artistic purposes. Unless you really want me to. Also, if you want to request such a photo of yours to be "arted", feel free to post it on my thread. I'll accept most of these challenges. I'll add a bonus point for each drawing I do to be distributed about my goals. Sidequest 3: Stress management/meditation I'm always making a goal of getting back into my meditation routine. Well, here I can earn bonus points. One for every 30 min of meditation. It may be that workouts will be missed, extra calories consumed, or stretching neglected because I'm too damn tired and stressed. Meditation can be used to make up for it. Every minute counts as long as I'm on the cushion, or some place purposeful, breathing with unattached thoughts. Are you ready?

The Mission: UNLOCK DIETARY BEAST MODE. What would it be like to eat food and not worry about getting sick? What would it be like if I had a diet that contributed to a healthy weight but didn't make me sick when I eat? I aim to find out. I'm Melissa. Hi! In addition to the challenge things I am working on below, here's what I'm like. I'm a 37 year old living in the intermountain west. Things I like to do include being outside (mainly hiking, camping, backpacking, canyoneering, and rafting), reading, cooking (currently getting into fermentation and sausage making), baking, board games (word, old fashioned, and strategy games), other people's pets and children, and yoga. I think Ron Swanson might be my spirit animal. My superpowers include anxiety and reading comprehension. That's me five years and at least forty pounds ago on my very first canyoneering trip. Some numbers for the start of my first full challenge (all minuses are since my last weigh in on August 11th)! Weight: 187 (-11 pounds! Body fat: 43% (-3%)! Upper bust: 40.5" (-.5") Full bust: 45 (- 2" yesssss)! Under bust: 36" (-2") Waist: 36.5" (no change) Belly: 45.5" (-.5") Hips: 45" (-1.5") Left bicep: 14.25" (-.75) Right bicep: 14.5 (-.5") Left thigh: 29" (-1") Right thigh 29.5" (-.5") Left calf: 18" (no change) Right Calf: 17.5" (-.5"). So that's 11 pounds gone forever, 3% body fat melted (just using my scale for this), and 9.75" inches returned to sender. While weight loss isn't part of my challenge for now, it is still important to me so this is exciting stuff. On to mission control for this challenge! #1. Conquer my digestion. I've spent too much time letting my faulty digestion be in charge. I am doing an elimination diet in an effort to figure out what my system can handle, and I am committed to doing whatever it takes to turn this dark carnival back into a happy funtime circus. If that means living on bone broth and zucchini, BRING IT ON. Right now, this goal means: stick to my elimination diet 100% until it either starts working, or it becomes clear that it is in fact not going to work, at which point it's time to call in additional professional help. I currently eat very few things (pretty much just zucchini, carrots, bone broth, and plain animal proteins), but one upside is that my very restricted diet has me in ketosis (fat burning mode). I'll take all the fat burning help I can get. This is my circus, and those are my monkeys. #2. Be The Kindly Brontosaurus in dealing with doctors and medical stuff. Be the brontosaurus! Be kind, but don't leave until I get what I need! I need to be more assertive (not aggressive, just assertive) in my dealings with my medical issues. It's my body, no one else will ever have as much at stake as I do, and it's time to stop letting stuff happen or not happen to me. This means: making all my appointments in a timely fashion, being assertive at those appointments (be the brontosaurus! take a dinosaur friend if necessary!), researching all my own stuff thoroughly, getting second opinions, making sure my doctors know what they are talking about, filling all prescriptions in a timely fashion, and pushing and persisting for all necessary tests to get done. To healthy people, that may sound like a lot. For anyone else with chronic illness(es), that list will seem familiar. I have a lot going on, healthwise, and it's important for me to keep on top of things even when I feel horrible. I am done using illness as an excuse for not taking good enough care of myself. Don't feel good? Do the things anyway. #3. Track all the things! Continue to keep a daily journal that includes what I eat, medications, and symptoms. If I don't have my journal with me, just make a note on my phone. There is almost no point in my elimination diet if I don't write down what I eat and how I feel. Weight loss and exercise aren't included in those goals for the simple reason that my elimination diet is very difficult and is enough to be going on with right now, but I am working on both of those things as I can. Grading and loot! I do love me some good loot. #1: Diet. This is pass/fail at the end of each week: did I stick to my elimination diet? Fail=get back on the horse, or get a new horse. Pass=LOOT if I've stuck to it 100%. I'll decide as I go what my rewards will be. I am including some diet vacations for planned travel because it is impossible to go backpacking while on my diet. On travel weekends, pass conditions include that I must return to my diet the morning after I return home. #2. Be The Kindly Bronotsaurus. This is pass/fail at the end of each week. Fail=did very few or none of the things I needed to do, and means it's time to ask for some help to get those things done. Pass=did most or all of the things, and means MOAR LOOT, again to be decided as I go (what can I say, I have whims). #3. Track all the things. Once again, this is pass/fail at the end of each week. Fail=tracked 3 or fewer days, or failed to track two days in a row and means no loot for me. Pass=tracked 4 or more days, and earns me more loot. I plan to earn a lot of loot. Shiny! A reward for anyone who made it through all that: it's the song that inspired my thread title.

Ron Swanson is pretty much the best sitcom character on TV right now. And let's face it: every man, (or woman, like me) would be better off if they followed his Pyramid of Greatness. BEHOLD. That's exactly what I'm going to do this challenge. OVERALL GOAL: Get down to 20% bodyfat. I currently sit at about 28%. I gained about a percentage point last challenge, which is super annoying, but I have only myself to blame, so I'm determined to do better this challenge. Who better than Ron Swanson to inspire me? Goal #1: "DISCIPLINE: The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again." I don't think anyone will argue that clean eating isn't always fun. But it is the most important thing when it comes to losing those percentage points, so that has to be my first focus. My aim here is to eat totally clean during the week, except for one cheat meal. I didn't do so hot last time, so this time I'm blackmailing myself with a system I'll talk about in more detail later. 1 cheat meal/week: A. 2/week: B. 3/week: C. 4/week: D. 5/week: F. Goal #2: "TORSO. Should be thick and impenetrable". Over the last year and a half I've really come a long way as far as building muscle and getting in shape. I've been on Stronglifts for about 6 months now, with a few bumps along the way, but I've seen a lot of improvement and I want to keep increasing my lifts. The goal here will be to lift around 100,000lbs by the time the challenge is done. 100,000+ pounds=A. 90,000-99,999=B. 80,000-89999=C, etc. Goal #3: "COW PROTEIN. PIG PROTEIN. CHICKEN PROTEIN. ROMANTIC LOVE. DEER PROTEIN. FISH (sport only)" My romantic love right now pretty much extends to bacon. I love following the paleo diet, but sometimes I fall into a rut of eating the same recipes over and over. Finding new ways to spice up the food I eat will help a lot with the clean eating goal. So, I aim to try one new recipe - preferably a new way of cooking meat - every week. P/F per week. Life Goal: "INTENSITY. Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that." I've been pretty lazy lately about sleeping in and then not giving myself enough time to get ready for the day. I want to start getting up at 7:30 every morning during the week for this challenge. Get up on time every day=A. Miss one day=B, etc. Bonus fitness goal: This won't be graded, but I need to get myself in better shape overall - not just strength-wise. To do this, I'll take a page from Ron Swanson's favorite activities and incorporate special finishers into my training. Sledgehammer swings, tire flips, farmers walks - anything and everything that Ron Swanson does just for fun. Bring on the challenge!