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(This song has nothing to do with anything. I just stole the phrase from it. And like it.) ************************************************** “What if we trusted ourselves, believed in our basic worthiness, believed that we would be OK even if things didn’t work out as planned, believed that we are loving, kind, and innately good human beings?” I've been having a hard time articulating what I want to do this challenge. I've been adding one new habit per challenge this year, with the idea that I'd accumulate 10 healthy habits over the course of the year. But something's a bit off, even though the new habits have been going well. So at first I thought I was just going to take a break for a month to let the new habits settle in more without adding anything new. But then I was trying to articulate WHY I felt I needed a break and what exactly it is that's been feeling off. And it's a couple of things. My progress has begun to hurt me. I’ll work out three times a week and think “ugh that wasn’t as good as the workouts I was doing last year!” instead of “Yay! I did all of my workouts!” And that’s a problem. That’s a stop drop and roll problem. I need to stop and fix it before I move on. Simultaneously, even though all of my habits are worthwhile and positive, I feel like I just don't have SPACE in my life right now to just enjoy things, and I'm not sure if it's the fault of all the things I'm trying to do or something else entirely. I take everything completely seriously, and that's both an incredible strength and a danger. So this challenge, I’m going to stop, drop, and roll. I’m going to take a break from my one-habit-per-challenge approach to the year. There’s no right way to do things. There’s no one thing or even list of things that I HAVE to do to enjoy life. Or to succeed at this challenge. And right now that sense of needing to make progress is robbing me of something else important in the present. And I don't just mean video game time. So this challenge, I both have a goal and don't have a goal. I guess it's a meta-goal, because I'm incapable of completely taking a break. I want to BASK. I want to bask in how lovely and beautiful the world is. I want to bask in how amazing it is that I can run a mile and think it’s no big deal when I used to DREAD running a mile. I want to bask in the fact that I have a boyfriend who I can cuddle and touch and play with. I want to bask in the feeling of working late into the night during an aikido class because we all love what we’re doing and we love moving and learning together. I want to bask in the feeling of sunshine or the pleasure of playing a video game. I want to drop anything that I can’t bask in. If I’m reading a book and I’m not actually getting pleasure from the experience, I want to do something else instead. I want to celebrate what I’m accomplishing. I want to hit all of my scheduled workouts and say "Woo! I'm awesome!" instead of anything else. So for this challenge, I can only post updates about what I bask in. I can complain about unrelated things too, of course. I'm not a monster. But I can't just post a list of everything I've done for the day. I can only share the basking. I'm hoping this will help reset my mindset in the direction I want to be going. So maybe the song has a little bit to do with the challenge. I want to emphasize to myself that there's no one right way to do things. I want to fall in love again with everything I'm doing. And If I'm incapable of loving it, maybe it's not something I shouldn't be doing.