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Hullo. Me again. Doesn't matter if you don't know who I am. I've been back and forth on the Rebellion forums for years and it has always done me good to keep my life in balance. I haven't been around for a while because life's been crazy and I found myself "accidentally" ignoring the forums and my challenge goals. Other things to do. But now I feel like I need the structure of the challenges again to reboot the end of my year and stop this little funk I've been in for the last month or so. Stuff about me in general: I live in Australia. I identify as female. Roller derby is my team sport of choice. My fitness journey has so far gone like this: Yoga --> BW --> NF --> more BW --> Roller derby --> gym --> Lifting --> Roller derby --> broken ankle --> sedentary --> rehab --> skatey --> gym rehab --> moar derby --> meltdown --> little to no cross-training --> now. I'm at work and my brain is starting to turn to jello. Long Story: TL;DR Life. Madness. Had some panic attacks, been in a funk. Haven't been cross-training or eating like I should. Also decided I should really address my self-esteem issues. Gonna do it. Get better. Be awesome. Kick ass. etc. Long Term Goals (very vague I know) Food prep every week, eat less snacks, fuel body for athleticism Cross-train in equal amounts to derby practice. Win an MVP award in a derby game next year Be able to clean my house without getting all angsty about it Stop being so mean to myself. Challenge Goals! This challenge is all about the hinge habits. Small habits I need to work on so that they can lead to bigger and better things. Like fitness, and a clean house. My motivator is monetary this time around. It's not very druid-y to be motivated by money I know - but heck, the warm fuzzy feeling of a clean house isn't doing it for me so I've gotta try something. My challenge will be scored in $1's. Every time I achieve something, $1 is added to my score. At the end of the challenge I'm going to use the total I've earned to buy something nice for the new house I've moved into. 1. Stop Pity Eating. Replace bought snacks and soft drinks with alternatives. Chocolate. There is always a fundraising box of chocolate bars at work which I have been snacking on WAY too often. it's time to stop that. They aren't even as good as I think they're gonna be. Instead I can bring a snack to entertain myself while at work. $1 for every time I go to buy a chocolate bar but have an alternative, or resist. I have to consciously think about buying the chocolate and reason myself out of it though. No just counting the amount of times I walk past the box. Soft Drinks. Not gonna lie, my partner and I played the McDonalds monopoly game hard. I know fast food is bad for me, so that's why I usually eat much less of it. But to begin with I'm going to work on cutting out the sugary soft drink part of it. $1 every time I have the chance to buy a soft drink and choose an alternative. Like water. Or tea. 2. Just do some damn exercise. I know I should cross-train. It makes me a better derby player. I've just lost the motivation. And now that I've moved house I don't drive directly past any gyms so I can't even guilt trip myself into stopping by on the way home from work like I used to. So I'm going to start with the basics. Push ups and single leg squats on alternating days, with one run on the weekend. Following the 50 pull ups system for the bodyweight exercises so I do the form and work my way up. And following the C25K system for the run so I can work on my cardio endurance from the ground up again. $2 earned for every push up I can do at the end of the challenge. $2 earned for every controlled negative pistol squat I can do at the end of the challenge - that's just the going down part. Asking myself to do a full pistol in a month is probably asking a bit much. We'll see. $5 for every km I can run non-stop at the end of the challenge. Bigger bribes here because I really, really, really want to get better at roller derby. 3. Keep the house sparkly. We bought a house. It's brand new. An ex-display home. No one has ever lived in it. You know those cartoons where they clean a room and the whole thing literally sparkles? that's what it's like. It's absolutely beautiful. And I want to keep it that way. Working sort of off the Flylady system of house cleaning, I'm going to focus on keeping one area of the house spotless every week. Week 1: Master Bedroom/bathroom/walk-in robe Week 2: Living space and dining room Week 3: Entrance and outdoors Week 4: Kitchen $1 for every day I clean something in the right zone. Maybe bonus points for doing extra. I dunno yet. $1 for every box of stuff I unpack during the challenge. Right now I feel like I'm camping in someone else's house. 4. Brain Train. Toot toot. That's the sound of me tooting my own horn. Read those Sport Psychology books you fucking downloaded for fucks sake. After my meltdown one of my teammates suggested a sports spychologist* psychologist might be able to help me work on my lack of self esteem. And being that I live in a small country town, there is no sport psychologist. So I googled it. Found some books. Downloaded some books. Read one and it really resonated with me so I started another one. But I've stopped reading them lately. No time? that's a bad excuse I know. Books to work through: The Brave Athlete: Calm the Fuck Down and Rise to the Occasion (currently half way through) - by Simon Marshall & Lesley Paterson The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck - by Mark Manson. Read the sample and sounded real good. Unf*ck yourself: Get out of your head and into your life (re-read) - by Gary Johnn Bishop. If I finish the others I would like to read this one again. I'm sensing a theme. $1 for every night you spend some time reading about your brain. *it's late. my typos are getting bad but that was too funny to delete. what do you think a spychologist does? Like I said. total $$$ scored is how much I get to spend on house stuff. There;s already a list of things I want and will probably buy but if I see something I just want just 'cos, that will be my goal. I like to track my challenges on a spreadsheet so I can see how many days I've skipped. Also excel does the math for me. yay.

Challenge 1 - System Restart Main Quest: To create and entrench self care routines for body, mind and spirit Mini 1: Cardio - 20 min daily (STR, STA) Mini 2: Eat a healthy, low carb, minimally processed diet, not exceeding 1500 calories in any given day (CON, STA) Mini 3: Meditation - 20 min daily (WIS, CON) Mini 4: Yoga - 15 min beginner routine daily (DEX,CHA) Mini 5: Journal - thoughts, feelings, dreams, whatever 10 min twice a day (first thing in morning and last thing at night) (WIS, CHA) Life Quest: Lose 4 clothing sizes and self loathing, gain energy, charisma and inner peace Epic Quest: This one is a 3 parter: 1. Pay down my credit card * Take card out of wallet and stash somewhere I will forget about * Set up automatic transfer on paydays to transfer $50 to the credit card account * Hide the account from view online I believe this will take approximately 1.5 years 2. Save a $5000 emergency fund * Set up an automatic transfer on paydays to transfer $50 to the emergency account until credit card is paid off, then increase transfer to $100. * Hide account from online view I believe this will take approximately 2.6 years 3. Save $30,000 towards a home deposit & stamp duty * Set up an automatic transfer on paydays to transfer $50 to the home deposit account until Emergency Account is up to $5000 then increase the transfer to $150 * Hide account from online view I believe this will take approximately 6.6 years

Ok, here it goes. I'm going to lay it all out here, hoping that someone has gone through the same things and can offer advice or support. I'm hesitant to post my fears online but everyone seem helpful here and I've gotten a lot more hope after starting to read Steve's book. I have been a quitter of most things all my life, that's pretty sad considering I'm 32 years old now. I'll be all "gung-ho" at first and really work at it, say eating better or exercising five days a week, and then I'll just stop after a few weeks or a few months. I start to see some good results and I just stop...like something comes up and I get sick or I can't work out one day so that one day becomes a few days and then I quit. The only real things I haven't quit in my life are: college, my marriage, my current job (that I so want to get out of), and then my studying of Japanese (going on 2 yrs now, woot!) I've be diagnosed with anxiety/depression, borderline personality disorder, and ocd...so...not fun things but meds help some. I've also got some of the lowest self-esteem that I've ever seen. I've also been thinking a lot lately and have come to the conclusion that not only am I scared of failure and success but I'm afraid who I will become if I do succeed...which I guess does fall under the fear of success. I am terrified of the person I could/would become if I succeed and get that job that doesn't treat you poorly or lose those 60 lbs that I need to lose to be healthy or go on that language learning vacation to Japan alone (which would be my first trip/time alone Ever). Fear just has me by the throat. I'm so scared that I'll turn into someone that isn't happy with my current surroundings after I succeed. I mean, my husband is doing great at his side business now and I admit, I am jealous but proud of him, but he is overweight and choosing to do this side job vs get healthier. So if I really get at it, lose the weight, or do things by myself...what if I really like it? What if I feel great and then realize that I may not need him anymore or want to be with him. I love him dearly and maybe this is the stress of the lack of time we have due to the side job, but I really fear these things. I also feel guilty because my husband started the side job (which he loves because it involves his hobby) because I was complaining a lot about lack of savings. So here I am aggravated with my life and knowing something needs to change and it starts with losing some weight and gaining self confidence but every time I get started I start to worry again. It seems so silly because no one can predict the future and it sounds dumb to not get healthy or not try to fulfill my travel dreams because of what-ifs. And of course, I'm just plain lazy most of the times and feel like after I get home from work and do chores that I'm poop and don't want to do anything. Then i find that excuse that I'm too tired and I'm not a morning person so I can't get up an hour earlier. Gosh, I'm so full of excuses. So, I'd appreciate any comments if anyone has had these types of feelings before. I thank you for bothering to read if you got this far too! lol

Hello fellow nerd fitness members! It's me again, off to be an adventurer and tackle the world. Much to the dismay of some of my fellows, I've disappeared for a few days because, alas, my medication got out of whack and I got a very rude reminder that taking care of myself is paramount to being a healthy person. So! This has actually colored how I'm going to tackle this challenge. This six week challenge is a little more like a three week challenge, since I disappeared into the ether and kept some people guessing. So, given the nature of this challenge and its suuuuuper short duration, I'm here to give you all the run down as to what is going to happen. GOALS: Lifestyle goal: Take all of my medications and vitamins on time and as prescribed: this is super hard for me. I'm one of those people who decides, when medicine doesn't seem to be effective, I don't take it anymore. This is an ENORMOUS PROBLEM when you have a chronic illness. You don't realize it at the time, but you can send yourself into a tailspin where you take months to climb back to a reasonable place. Basically, it sucks. And it's actually super hard to keep up with your medication because, sometimes, it feels like shit and it gets you super disheartened. So! My goal is to take my medication as prescribed every day. This is an all or nothing goal. NOTES: this goal is Pass/Fail daily. When I pass this goal for the day, I am getting stickers. I take medication 3 times daily, so there is the potential for three stickers per day. +2 constitution for completion Fitness goal: Find a yoga class and go to it: Okay, so! When I was in the hospital it was recommended that I find some healthy way to deal with my stressors and recenter myself. It was suggested that I try doing yoga, because it would improve some of my mobility issues (damn you, hips! Getting in the way of my ability to do deep squats!) and it helps someone practice good breathing techniques. NOTES: I want to try to go to a yoga class twice a week. It doesn't have to be the same class, but it does have to be a yoga class twice a week. Wins are calculated ones a week +1 dexterity, +1 stamina for completion A TOTAL WIN: 5 stickers per week: 2 yoga classes / 3 days independent stretching A TECHNICAL WIN: 3 stickers: 2 yoga classes A SORTA WIN: 2 stickers: 1 yoga class/2 days independent stretching WELL, YOU TRIED: 1 sticker: 3 days of independent stretching, no yoga. *caveat: If I can't find time to do a yoga class one week, it can be substituted with one thirty minute yoga session from Youtube or some other online provider. A busy schedule should not deter me from having fun doing yoga. Lifestyle goal: Make 3 meals at home per week: I'm going to be at home a lot for the next few weeks for medical crap. It'll not only help me save money, but it will help me track the things that go into my body and what will help me get back on my A-game. Basically, this is a life skill that I need to learn because I'm not doing a super good job of taking care of myself in a responsible adult fashion. NOTES: This is going to be a fun goal, because it will give me the opportunity to be one of those people that gets to post pictures of food porn (delicious food pictures for the sake of giving other people the satisfaction of nummy looking food stuff) and posting a recipe for people to follow if it turns out delicious. Overall, I'm looking forward to this being one of the fun challenges I get to do. A TOTAL WIN: 5 stickers: 5 meals at home per week A TECHNICAL WIN: 3 stickers: 3 meals at home per week A SORTA WIN: 2 stickers: 2 meals at home per week WELL, YOU TRIED: 1 sticker: 1 meal at home per week +1 constitution +1 stamina upon completion Personal betterment goal: Keep up a journal every day: Journal keeping is super therapeutic and really helpful. At the end of the day, it's probably one of the best things you can do to vent and vent safely. It's going to be a one sticker a day goal, but every day I journal I get to be a little more in touch with my day. I have so many books to keep my thoughts and feelings in, so it's time I start filling those up. +2 wisdom upon completion BONUS GOAL: WRITE ONE RP POST ON NERD FITNESS PER DAY: I love writing. I love it like it is my sun and moon and birthday cake all rolled into one. I want to find a way to make sense of what I'm doing and write it in a fun way. This is just for fun, but it'll be a good prompt to get things going +1 charisma upon completion

Hey, So I'm assuming I'm among friends here, even some friends who were overweight before, or are overweight and struggling with it, or are even beating it. I'm sure there are people on here who have felt insecure about the way they look, too, so my question is, how do you guys deal with it? How do you embrace it? I've had family members and other people commenting on my looks for as long as I can remember. I used to be under 100 pounds, then got severely depressed and shot all the way up to 150-ish in four years, and my family has been commenting and calling me fat ever since. I've had total strangers tell me I'm ugly, and I've also had people tell me I'm one of the most beautiful people they know, but of course I think they're lying because they're my friends. I lost a lot of weight and gained a lot back, but I'm not nearly as heavy as I was in high school, so that's a plus. I always think that people are judging me on my appearance and especially my weight. I am scared to be noticed. I'm Miss Frumpy for a reason. Do I have to have a flat tummy again, dress up, and do my makeup every day to be worthy of notice? Somebody even told me once that I don't deserve an attractive partner until I do, and sometimes, with the whole prevalence of this "no fat chicks" mentality that a lot of guys seem to have, I feel like I wouldn't be able to get a partner regardless of whether or not I deserve one (Important note: dating is soooooo far from my main priority right now. The reason I mention this story is because it horrifies me that somebody felt that it was their place to say something like this, and that they felt totally comfortable doing it. It further confirms my belief that people see me and judge me for my weight, clothes, and on most days, complete lack of any makeup whatsoever, and that every time I was interested in somebody, my appearance was a huge factor in my rejection, as I have never not been rejected). Anyways, what do you guys tell yourselves to help you embrace who you are? I firmly believe that everyone deserves love and kindness, and yet I don't give myself any. How do you change a thought pattern that is so deeply ingrained? If any of you have stories that you want to share, especially if you think I could learn from them, I'd appreciate that so much. Of course, if you want to share so you have somebody else to cheer you on, I'm more than happy to do that, too. Thanks everyone, Fia

Self-Love Last week I read a book called "Wie's weitergeht, wenn nichts mehr geht" by Jens Baum. The title can be translated as: "How things are going on when nothing's going on anymore". One chapter of this book is about self-love. Jens Baum says: "Self-love is a mindful, caring, respectful, responsible and loving relationship with oneself." He sees two positive aspects in having self-love: You don't burden your friends and family with responsibility for your well-being anymore. You are feeling better, because you can take care of yourself most effective.Jens says self-love has nothing to do with egoism, moreover a person with self-love cannot be egoistical at all. In his book he explains why. This challenge will be about my way to loving myself for what I am. Main Quest: Love myself 1st Mission: Autogenic Training I got a book and CD for Autogenic Training and already started exercising. It's wonderful, I enjoy the exercising very much. After every training I am feeling fresh and free. The task is to do the Autogenic Training at least once per day. 2nd Mission: Yoga I have done the following Yoga Workout two times now and it's beneficent. The task is to do this Yoga Workout once per day. 3rd Mission: Positive Thinking It's typical for me that I see everything negative. If there's something slightly wrong it becomes a huge failure inside my head. The task is to stop derogatory thoughts, accept what has happened and come up with a good plan for moving on. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YN72QsiaIM

Hi y'all! I am starting this as a daily thread to encourage myself and anyone else who wants to show more love to their bodies and/or improve their relationship with food. How It Works:Every day, you find the thread (click "follow this thread" the red button on the top right of the thread page) and post one or more positive comments about your body and/or a positive thing involving your relationship with food. Who Can Participate: Anyone, regardless of level or guild, from the day you join the Rebellion until the day you leave us. What Else Do I Need To Know: There may be levels added for consistent participation in the future, and everything will be decided by group consensus. Feel free to make suggestions, ask questions, laugh, joke, have fun, support eachother and anything else positive. Keep the judgement and negativity elsewhere. I am really excited about doing this and I hope that you decide to love your body and improve your relationship with food along with me

I'm a 41 year old female, and my weight has been up and down a lot, but I've remained obese since about my mid-20s. I don't know precisely when I truly became overweight - starting around the time that I was about 12 or 13 (basically puberty), I got told by my parents that I "would be so pretty, if only you would lose a few pounds." I remember being a freshman in high school and being within the average weight range for my height according to the BMI, but believing that wearing size 12 jeans meant I was fat. Oh, to fit into those size 12's again. At some point in college, while STILL hearing that being pretty was completely dependent on me losing weight, I decided I just didn't care - if I was fat then I would just be fat. I would eat whatever I wanted, I would do whatever I wanted. This came at the same time as a lot of other anger and rebellion which I think was largely related to struggling with coming out of the closet as well, and around this same time I stopped being accountable for a lot of things, which in part meant I stopped weighing myself. So I don't really know when exactly all the weight came on, but it has stayed since. Imagine my surprise a year ago when a friend of mine posted a "Throwback Thursday" photo of the two of us from around about the time I was 13 or 14, and I realized that I was an absolutely, completely average looking kid. I stared at it for a long time trying to see why, exactly, that kid needed to lose weight. I still don't have any answers. And weight is still tied to my self-esteem and my sense of attractiveness. In the years since, mostly I've been healthy in spite of my weight. I did have acute pancreatitis due to mis-handling of gallstones, and had to have abdominal surgery and now, while I can do some ab exercises, I can't handle an entire ab workout (by doctor's orders). That situation going so wrong was due to bad practices by a doctor, but, well, gallstones are a really common problem for people who are overweight. I also had a little blood pressure scare this year, and while my doctor determined it isn't a chronic problem yet, I feel like I need to take it really seriously so that that doesn't happen. So there have been small health problems that can definitely be linked to my eating and exercise habits. Over a year ago I joined Weight Watchers and at first, I had really good momentum and lost 38 pounds. But then my willpower dropped, there were personal issues which made it really clear to me that I'm an emotional eater, and I've gained back 18 of those pounds and have found it very difficult to lose them again. What I would like to find here - what I really hope to find - is like-minded community. I'd like to find a group of regulars that I can hit it off with, who offer encouragement. While I attended Weight Watchers meetings, you don't really get that there. People just show up, weigh in, listen to what is said, and go about their day. People don't really bother to get to know each other or form bonds. I'd like a place where bonds can be formed. What I want to accomplish is weight loss, a greater sense of self REGARDLESS of how my body looks, and the ability to do a pull up! What I would LOVE to accomplish is looking awesome in my cosplay. I'd like my body to match the way I feel wearing costumes. I have a primary goal of losing 50 pounds through healthy eating and exercise. This is my goal because when I had pancreatitis, I lost that much due to sickness, in a really unhealthy way. I'd like to lose that much in a healthy way, and consider that a good starter goal. So that's me. Hi! I look forward to meeting you.

I wish I had a Beauty and the Beast gif right now. "Flabby, fat, and lazy" pretty much describes me to a T. This is my 5th challenge and I'm still trying to figure out how to make my healthy habits stick. Womp womp. This time I'm going with easy things that won't shake up my life too drastically but will still help me see results. So! Fun stuff: Main Quest: Lose 10 pounds Goal 1: Eat 1504 calories per day (+3 CON) Based on IIFYM.Will be tracked on MyFitnessPal. Come say hi and call me out on bad life choices!Depending on how hard/often I exercise, I may up this to net calories to compensate.I've been trying to avoid calorie counting because it sucks, but I've realized it's what I've had the most luck with before. Booo! Goal 2: Do a goddamn pushup. (+5 STR) Seriously. What is upper body strength and where do I buy it?Attempt every other day. Ideally as part of a bodyweight workout, but AT LEAST try pushups.Do incline pushups at various heights at my hideously boring job. Goal 3: Get 7.5 hours of sleep a night (+3 CON, +2 STA) Go to bed no later than 930 on weeknights. Probably weekends too, because consistency.Tracked via Fitbit until I train my cat to record the exact moments I fall asleep and wake up. Say hi here too! Life goal: Repeat a positive affirmation 200 times a day (+2 WIS) I'll keep looking for some I like, but this seems like a pretty good list.basically I'm a super negative person and that sucksI also suck in the self esteem and self confidence departmentsSee? I'm being negative!not sure how I'm going to keep track bc I don't have that many fingers. Fitness side goal: run 1 mile without stopping Diet side goal: completely avoid processed food for a week

Haku loves Haku - 5th challenge So here we are again. I'm 10 days late, I know, so my challenge will be a whole lot shorter in being present, but nonetheless I have started with this challenge a few days earlier than the 9th of June. The reason for me being late is that I have been on holiday for almost 2 weeks. I've been in France (in the Provence, only a few metres away from Lac du St Croix) and in Luxembourg (in Esch-sur-Sûre) and it was amazing. France brought a loooot of sun, so I'm nicely tanned. You can clearly see where my bikini sat on my body. Durrr! (Pictures from the holiday will follow soon) Anyway... The challenge I gave myself this time is one to start loving myself a bit more. If you have read my topic from previous challenge, you'll find I wasn't so happy with myself and that I noticed I wasn't out of the depression I thought I was. It was hard to realise that one and especially to accept that things didn't go as well with me as I thought. I figured I eat a lot bad things because I feel lonely, unhappy, unwanted, and worthless. With this it is easy to conclude that I should feel better in order to get rid of my cravings, right? So that's what I'm going to do. To be honest, I haven't given much thought to how I am going to give shape to this challenge. So everything is still subject to change, in order to create the perfect challenge for myself. I noticed the daily and weekly goals work really well for me, so I am going to keep those. And to have a list of a few life goals to work on is a good thing too, because that way I actually get things done. Which is good. So I'll just stick that in here. Daily goals: (win at least 6 a day and at least 80% of the days, starting from day 12, so at least 25 days) - Sleep 8+ hours - Check posture - Have my pills - Tell myself "I love you" - Eat veggies - Eat fruit - Drink 1.5+ L water - Max 2 unhealthy snacks Weekly goals: (win at least 80%, starting from week 3, so win at least 7 times) - Exercise - Facial mask Life goals: (win at least 3 goals) - Get Erasmus grant SEMI-WIN (they aren't sure if I can get one, but they affirmed they got my application for it) - Find room in Cambridge - Buy books for minor WIN - Finish commissions WIN - Pass motorbike exam WIN Total 3.5 wins Current stats are: STR 5 - DEX 4 - STA 3 - CON 4 - WIS 5 - CHA 7 My current weight (19th of June) is 87.3 kg and hopefully I'll lose some weight this challenge. That would be a good thing. But most importantly I need to love myself and I still need to find some ways to increase that self love. Although I must say it's already starting to happen. Huzzah! Week 1 Day 1 ... - Day 2 ... - Day 3 ... - Day 4 ... - Day 5 ... - Day 6 ... - Day 7 ... Week 2 Day 8 ... - Day 9 ... - Day 10 ... - Day 11 ... - Day 12 FAIL - Day 13 WIN - Day 14 WIN Week 3 (mask win - exercise win) Day 15 WIN - Day 16 WIN - Day 17 WIN - Day 18 WIN - Day 19 Win - Day 20 Fail - Day 21 WIN Week 4 (mask fail - exercise win) Day 22 WIN - Day 23 WIN - Day 24 WIN - Day 25 WIN - Day 26 WIN - Day 27 WIN - Day 28 WIN Week 5 (mask fail - exercise win) Day 29 WIN - Day 30 WIN - Day 31 WIN - Day 32 WIN - Day 33 WIN - Day 34 FAIL - Day 35 FAIL Week 6 (mask win/fail - exercise win/fail) Day 36 FAIL - Day 37 WIN - Day 38 WIN - Day 39 FAIL - Day 40 WIN - Day 41 Daily total 23 wins Weekly total 4 wins

Hi y'all! My name is Bekah and I finally picked a guild. I got really comfortable as an Adventurer, but it was time to stop learning and start training. Princesses aren't able to kill people automatically yanno? So here I am. I'm 35, a mom of 2 teenagers, 5'3" and 242lbs. I'm very positive about everything but my own strengths, and I like helping people. I'm also part Druid, so I tend to have a lot of introspection and live in my head a bit. I love learning new things, especially about people different from me and other religions and cultures. I love books, The Legend of Zelda, Biology, Sociology, Mental Health/Psychology, Hello Kitty and most 80's girl cartoons, and I recently developed a love for Anime. Main Quest I want to feel worthy of being loved by myself and others. This quest has so many components to it, and I am not at the beginning, or even halfway through, but I have done some huge work on this overall in the last few years. Four years ago, I didn't even feel like I was deserving of basic human rights like food and clothing, without doing something for them (working, cleaning, childcare etc.) and now I see that I'm more than deserving of those things, I deserve to love and be loved and to be respected and to not have to "be" or "do" anything to prove I'm worthy of having those things--at least, I get it intellectually, but most of the time I still don't feel it's true. I need to accept that truth entirely to keep progressing in my life. This is a diet/fitness related quest because my body has always been one of the biggest ways I assessed my value, and to be a reasonable weight, and be fit and physically strong, gives me a much greater sense of self worth. Quest Goals: 1. Do yoga for 15 minutes at least 3x/week for the first 6 weeks, increasing 1 day per week every 6 weeks. 3/3: A 2/3: B 1/3:C 0/3: F [3 DEX, 2 STA] 2. Participate in the Biggest Loser Challenge started by Jenn and include at least 30 minutes of bodyweight exercises (BBW or Clubbells) and 20 minutes of HIIT cardio (treadmill) 5x/week (alternating activities). This will be graded on x/7 for a weekly grade of A-F and can be made up on another day as long as there are not both the same type of workout (ie. not two BBW or Clubbell workouts on the same day). 6-7/7: A+ 5/7: A 4/7: B 3/7: C < 3/7: D 0/7: F [3 STR, 3 STA, 1 CHA] 3. Eat 3 balanced meals every day (will post menu for accountability) and eliminate gluten and dairy entirely, with the exception of one "cheat meal" per week, that is also gluten and dairy free. As part of a personal goal, this "cheat meal" will be the only time I can have anything with added sugar. (Im not counting Truvia as sugar in this context) I will grade this on x/20, with an A-F scale. 17-20/20: A 12-16/20: B 8-12/20: C 5-8/20: D < 5/20: F [2 CON] Life Quest: Consistently follow my Flylady routines, to increase my feelings of self worth in how I take care of my home and family responsibilities. This will be graded on x/7 for a weekly grade of A-F and ONE days routine can be made up on another day per week. 6-7/7: A+ 5/7: A 4/7: B 3/7: C < 3/7: D 0/7: F [1 CHA] I totally forgot about the Motivation!! I have several motivations: This: “What practice builds in us is a true confidence that can’t be derived from outward signs of success – fame, money, beauty. This confidence comes from the fact that you show up over and over again. That you do what you say you are going to do. That you commit to a practice, one that is possible given your life and maybe with a few missed times, a few times you mess up, you stay in the driver’s seat. And even the times you don’t show up are part of the practice if you pay attention to them, do not get rigid, can develop a soft heart/mind and don’t punish yourself or quit altogether because of one – or two – times you didn’t [practice] perfectly.†there’s a reason why we call yoga (and self-acceptance, body-love and life) a practice. And To fully believe this:

Hey. So, here is the issue I am having. I have been on a 9 month journey to lose 60 pounds. At my last doctor's appointment, the staff didn't recognize me (literally). I want to push the envelope and become a warrior. I want to do things I have never been able, or scared to do before (my brother and I are planning a rafting trip to West Virginia). Here are my issues: 1. My husband has never had a weight problem in his life, and lives on Mountain Dew and Little Debbies. 2. He has spent the last 12 years trying to convince me that I am not strong enough to do anything without him. 3. I think it's working. I know that is wrong, and pathetic, but how do I get past it?