Search the Community

My goal is to definitely chatter in here on a daily basis. Even if it's to say "Hi! I took a nap today!" or that I managed to finish four loads of laundry when I'm not posting things about the gym/working out/general health hubbub! So, back in February, my Step-dad and I joined our local gym. Since then, we were going every other day. I did skip a few days because 1) I wasn't feeling all that great mentally or physically or 2) I was feeling lazy. Lately, I have been far more diligent at pushing myself to go. Even if I'm feeling mentally exhausted or gross, I go because it actually makes me feel better. Much of my first month was cardio on the treadmill. Walking for 20-35 minutes and I liked it! Then I decided to do some weight training on the various machines they have there. I LOVE that. So, I'm going to find a happy medium as we are talking about working on going every day. Which I believe means I would do weight/cardio/weight/cardio throughout the week, or weight/cardio/cardio/weight. I think. I do know that tonight I am going to do some cardio because my muscles are ACHING after probably overdoing it the other night at the gym. Here is some info that I have either written down or recorded: February 3, 2018 Treadmill Work 199 calories burned 35 minutes 0.8 miles February 9, 2018 Treadmill Work 133 calories burned 25 minutes 0.63 miles February 12, 2018 Treadmill Work 136 calories burned 25 minutes 0.7 miles February 17, 2018 Treadmill Work 227 calories burned 35 minutes 1.17 miles February 19, 2018 Treadmill Work 154 calories burned 25:04 minutes 0.74 miles February 22 Treadmill Work 242 calories burned 35 minutes 1.06 miles February 27, 2018 Treadmill Work 229 calories burned 35 minutes 1.23 miles March 6, 2018 I want to note that some of the weight amounts may not be correct as I did not realize the weights have an adjustable handle to set it to 0, 5, or 10 lbs on top of what you have the lock bar set to. Therefore, these could be greater, equal, or less than what I wrote down. I also did not realize how you should set the weights when doing these as this was my first time going through them. I'm better informed now, I hope! 10 10lb leg extensions x 2 10 75lb seated leg curls x 2 10 10lb seated leg press x 3 10 75lb back extension x 2 10 35 lb chest press x 2 10 35lb pull down x 2 10 140??lb seated leg curl x 2 10 75lb calf extension x 2 10 35lb shoulder press x 1+5 Treadmill Work 78 calories burned 13 minutes 0.38 miles March 7, 2018 10 leg extensions 130lb x 2 10 seated leg curl 130lbs x 2 10 back extensions 180lbs x 2 10 seated leg press 130lbs x 2 10 calf extensions 130lbs x 1 10 calf extensions 180lbs x 1 March 10, 2018 10 pull down 75lbs x 1 10 pull down 85lbs x 1 10 pull down 90lbs x 2 10 chest press 75lbs x 2 6 shoulder press 20lbs x2 10 triceps press 210lbs x 2 10 bicep curls 85lbs x 1 6 bicep curls 85lbs x 1 10 row 75lbs x 2 10 seated leg press 140lbs x 2 My Step-Dad and I have become a great gym team and I'm really enjoying it!

Ahhh, it's been a while... a long while since I've been around here, but thank you @Knightwatch for continually reminding me that we've got this. All of us, together. The Theme of the Year You heard it. OF THE YEAR. Because this one is going to take time. The theme - my theme - softness. Softness in truths, softness in feelings, softness in acceptance, softness in love, softness in femininity and sexuality. This is the kind of softness that’s defined as being easy to mold; lacks sharp definition. Coming into a challenge with the theme of softness makes me laugh a bit because, heh, yes — I’m going to be soft with my goals too (and if my body get softer, that’s ok too!). This theme is one that took quite a bit of soul searching and competes quite a bit with my generally rigid personality. The theme itself is a goal in a lot of ways. I will be (read: need to be) gentle and forgiving to myself. I exhaust myself into anxiety and sadness, striving for perfection that… really exists only in my own mind. So, here I am getting real with myself, with you all. Thank you for embarking on this journey with me. THE FIRST ONE! Woo! The Goals We’re keeping it basic and we’re sticking to little effort in planning much of this on my own. I’m already in the early stages of a couple of programs and my goals are nothing more than to check them off on the daily 1. Darebee - Iron Born program, 30 days. These are mostly strength-based quick workouts at 30 mins or less. Most days I’ve added to them because the hardest part about working out sometimes is just starting… once I’ve started, it’s fun and I like how I feel so obvi, I keep going. GOAL: complete at least what the program outlines. GOALplus: complete what the program outlines + make it harder/do it faster/add something that compliments it (HIIT, bigger lifts, BW burnout) 2. TRUE - 30 Day Yoga Journey, Yoga with Adriene. GOAL: complete the daily session GOALplus: complete the daily session + hang out with a pose that feels good for a bit or meditate/breathe/be present in my body 3. Bouldering GOAL: make it to the bouldering gym 2-3x/week. Literally, step foot in there and do whatever serves me — lift, boulder, stretch, take a class, etc. (social anxiety generally keeps me comfy at home). GOALplus: talk to someone beside my husband (compliment, ask a question, ask for help, etc.) The Life Stuff Goals No food/meal shaming. No hating myself for eating XYZ. If I have these feelings, excellent — I must pull out my journal and get it all out. What led to it, what I’m feeling, what steps I might do next time, but no thoughts that I’m a mess up (again). Be present as fuck in my relationship. There’s a lot there to unpack. No details… just I’m committed to my partner and being all that I can for us. *** That's it! Keeping it simple this time around. Excited to be back and see what all of you are up to with your own journeys

A fresh new battle log to start off a new year (and finally have a new keyboard!) I've fully accepted now my ability to organize needs to level up. Going to allow myself some freedom and letting go of past posts, and going to keep my posts here. I will joining the challenge threads, but I know now true fully I need to keep my own structure of challenge days for making it easier to follow through. Along with keeping the battle log on my signature and being active in the forums again, so I do get to chat with new people. Since there is a reason why I keep coming back here after all. I love the people here... And am surprised by how people in the real world don't always have the "happier life goals". So following in the idea that what I've been calling my heart, is really my inner goddess trying to make my dreams a reality. Speaking of goals, I realized after having some thinking time of "what is my 'personal philosophy?'" A lot of it came back to finding my joys and following my hearts (especially when I realized there is still quite a bit in my life that doesn't give me joy, but unhealthy habits to give me comfort during my less joyful times). So hoping to take steps toward a life that I can barely dream of. Taking steps in my career toward my fears, and let's spread that to other areas of my life. School Goals - For the next 14 weeks (daily/weekly tracking, and adjusting on where I'm needed): Extra time out of class - Starting this week, I'm starting the goal of working on school stuff for a goal of 25 hours each week outside of class! All my classes have large projects, and 2 out of 3 are starting off with large amounts of reading for the projects. Most of these projects are group based, which means I need to keep my end of the work. This is an intro to my career choice I'm finding, so time to face my fears that I have all over the place. (Reward: 25 cents per an hour finished) Following Through- On top of the work, last year I had a class where I nearly failed because I wasn't turning anything in... (I have an all or nothing mentality where a portion of the time I just give up). So working on rewiring my brain and showing the end results, hoping this will ripple effect into the rest of my life. (Reward: $300 on anything I desire, Penalty: Will donate to an organization that I'm not a fan toward their mission... Am open to ideas for this one.) Health/Spirituality Goal - 1 week at a time here... (Am trying to figure out what is going to work out in my life): Daily Tarot - Spiritual side, doing a tarot has me sitting down and getting out of my head a bit every night before bed. Has been helping with mindfulness techniques, and times for being thankful (3 months 90% Successful - Reward: A tarot deck or something similar for spiritual side). Collecting Underpants- So with school, a new job, and -25 degrees F windchill coming out every few days I'm trying to figure out how to add exercise that I enjoy back into my routine. Walking somewhere was my go to, but with the weather some days I need an alternative. Life Goals: Urge surfing- From buying stuff and eating stuff that makes me feel good. I've found both for my waist size and my wallet, stepping back and allowing "extras" stuff to be a short term reward. Allowing myself to buy a higher quality item once, instead of crappy stuff every day. Will be taking daily note on any encounters, and/or goals for the longer rewards. Self-Love - Kind of collecting underpants here, but realized with trying to find a social life I had many changes but could barely handle my negative thinking afterwards. Over winter break I realized how nasty I'm to myself sometimes (and wouldn't allow anyone else to do to me). Along with how many times I go to escapes for "taking care of myself." If I can barely handle being in my own skin some-days.Starting off by daily sharing a week's worth of daily assignments from Uncustomary.org (a blog I just found and haven't tried too much out because of not accountability). Cutting the Nonsense out: I'm someone that walks away from negative people in my life, so why do I go on facebook? Yeah need to cut it out, especially since I get notifications about groups on my phone for updates on events and stuff (and really do I want to be part of a group of people that can't take the time to email it out, then just facebook). Cutting out Netflix... So many hours. Now and then I tend to fall in a binge, but like sugary treats its not something I want to depend on getting through hard times. Art Maker: A four week course of finding an artistic outlet that I'm trying to figure out. Will be doing writing or actual art projects depending on how I feel or have time for. Creatively I've been feeling kind of stuck, since I realized during NaNoWriMo I can barely wrap my head around writing healthy relationships. Something is off. Will share what I come up with. NF goals: Daily Posts- Really the only way I've found joy in my life is daily posting stuff, next to be a tad bit more accountability. Friends: Posting on someone else's thread daily, would lead me to following at least a few people. Oofda... Just having a lot in my head. There was a point where I couldn't think of any. And then realized all my goals. Color coated while I did it too. Thank god for days off else I wouldn't have been able to do this today.

Hellooo friends! You have stumbled upon my Intuitive Eating Journal. There will be a lot of feelings about food and my relationship with food. A lot of feelings. Hopefully most of it will be love towards food. I f**king love food. Why The Fox Is On The Run Tale as old as time: I have been a chronic dieter since my early teens, and I've tried pretty much every diet there is. I believed that being healthy meant being thin, so I hated myself for not being able to get thin (healthy) enough. I've also hated my body and myself for not having enough willpower to do what it takes to lose weight. My self-worth has been tied to how well I managed to eat. I'm sure we all know what self-hatred is, so I'm just going to go to the turning point. This spring, I was counting my calories and focusing on paleo-ish foods, when I started to feel fed up. I felt bloated and anxious, and eating was like an obstacle course I had to pass every day. Thinking about food took so much mental energy from me that I just wanted to let go for a moment. I had listened to a couple of podcasts about body positivity and intuitive eating, and I guess I had started to realize that I have all the information about what a healthy diet is, but there's something wrong with the implementation. I was in a constant fight with my body: "I'm not supposed to feel this way, I'm not supposed to eat like this", and so forth. So, the next morning, I didn't rush to eat my regular breakfast, but listened to my body: was I hungry yet? How much did I want to eat? What did I want to eat? After some time, the hunger signal kicked in, and I had my breakfast. And the hunger went away. I decided not to eat until I would be hungry again, and magically, the hunger signal kicked in a few hours later. I ate, listened to my body, and kept doing this. Listening to my body's signals was the turning point: I realized that every day, I had ignored my body and my feelings, and tried to make myself be good by following a diet made by someone else, someone who doesn't even know me. Basically, I had been telling myself every day to shut up and do as I'm told. Not cool! I realized that I had tied my self-worth to my food choices. Every day, if I had eaten "right", I could tell myself that it had been a good day, and if I had eaten "wrong", I would punish myself by eating less the next day. I can't say that I've had a full-blown eating disorder, but my eating has certainly been disordered. With the help of some body positivity resources and intuitive eating instructions, I started to work on my feelings of worthlessness, and now I feel like I have a better connection to myself and my body. I will never diet again, nor count calories. Where The Fox Is Running To Bacon and eggs. Obviously. My mission is to practice intuitive eating, and stay mindful about my food choices. After I stopped dieting and labeling foods as good or bad, I had a bit of a honeymoon: I ate everything I wanted, whenever I wanted, and didn't feel bad about it. After a couple of weeks, the foods I thought I had no control over (chocolate, ice cream), started to feel "meh". And then I started to get worried. If there are no rules, how do I construct my eating habits? I do want to keep my diet healthy: it is a fact that eating less processed foods makes me feel good, and eating a lot of processed foods and sugar makes me feel bad. And that's the key: There will be no rules, but guidelines. Following the guidelines helps me to pick the foods that make me feel good. My goal is to feel good and healthy, not to lose weight. It's a tough one, because I've always eaten to lose weight, but it's necessary if I truly want to reject the restrictive mindset and listen to my body instead. I can't control my body mass as much as I'd like to, anyway, but maybe I can make myself feel healthy and calm. And after a few weeks, I feel better. My stress levels and my self-hatred fueled anxiety have gone down. I am now learning to stay mindful about my food choices, and ask myself, how the food will make me feel - not if it's good or bad. It has been mentally very hard to process these feelings (as I forgave myself and let me just be as I am, I spent a few days crying because I was just so relieved), and it's still a process. I want to keep working on this, though, because I haven't felt this carefree and happy in a long, long time! This will probably be enough for now! I will gather resources and some ideas to the next post.

So what is this about you might ask? Well, I'll tell you! Just take a seat, this could take a while.... It all started back about 10 years ago. I was in high school and just getting to figuring out who the hell I was. I met this really cute guy and got infatuated. I even invited him to go to prom with me but he declined, said he wasn't interested in going. I was sad but not heartbroken and found another dude to go with. And oh boy...was that ever a disaster! Fast forward a few years and I meat this boy again but now via my boyfriend. He is funny and sweet and nerdy, just like me. And I liked him. A lot. But since I had a guy already and was happy (not really, I just told myself this...idiot teenager...) I never thought more about it. Instead things changed and me and this guy started hanging out like friends and that was just fine. Until one night when he was drunk and it slipped out, when we were alone, that he had liked me since high school and regretted so badly turning me down for prom. I had no idea what todo with the information and it just got stored away in the back of my mind. So I moved away for college and he got a job, life went on. My relationships started and ended like bad sitcoms all of them, one worse then the other, and this guy stayed with me. He became my closest friend and confidant and I told him everything. I even felt a few times that if he ever was single I would snatch him up. But he never was. When he had a girl I was single and vice versa. So time went on. And then I got engaged. To a dutch guy. And was planning on moving from Sweden. And me and my friend were hanging out a lot that last summer, because I realised that I would miss him the most of all the people I had in my life. And then, one night, something just came over me. We were sitting outside in the Swedish summer night, meaning it was still a soft light out at 2 am and the wind was warm, and I just felt like something changed. I looked at him and all of a sudden his lips were on mine. One kiss. That was all. Nothing more ever happened and I know I should have been beating myself up over it since I was engaged but....I just couldn't. I was just blown away. And all those feeling came rushing back in. But yes....I was engaged....and I was moving the week after. I remember thinking "WTF dude!? NOW?! REALLY!?!?!?!" but I didn't say anything. And I left. I packed up my life and moved. And after 2 weeks I regretted it. I had the feeling in my gut that neither the guy or the country was right for me. He was mean, stupidly cheap and nothing I wanted to do was worth the money. We couldn't go to Amsterdam because that was expensive but he could have a scooter, a car and really expensive hobbies. I felt like shit and I was reduced to a nervous wreck. And after a year I gave up and moved back. I don't regret going but I do regret not listening to my gut feeling sooner. That was the time I finally learned to listen to my intuition. And it has payed of since then. So I moved home. And me and my friend started hanging out again. And something had changed. Something huge. Like....the planets hade changed path and the sun was just....so much brighter. And I realised that it was this guy I wanted to be with. So I did what any sensible woman would do - I made him mine. It wasn't hard since he never had been able to forget me either. And that first year was so blissful it was almost irritating. Reality hit. We hit a really rough patch and after a lot of heartbreak and tears and anxiety we decided to move apart. When things had settled we started talking again and both of us realised that we missed each other. So we tried again. We started dating, took it really slow, kept living apart and just easing into it. Using the time we spent apart to figure out what we wanted individually and where we wanted to go in life. And it worked. About a year after we started dating we decided to move in for a trial period. He stayed with me for one month in my apartment and after that I stayed with him for a month. We managed to find someone that wanted to rent my apartment for a year when me and the guy tried living together again. This time we kept all the safety-measurements on. I kept the apartment so in case of chaos again I could move back and not have to go to my parents again as the last time. We started talking more, communicating more, letting each other in. It worked. <3 We found each other again, over 9000 times stronger this time, more grown up and knowing what we needed to do to make it work in the long run. And THIS brings me to the topic! We got a really nice offer for a fantastic house, it needed alot of TLC but it was too good to pass on, and we started talking about the future. Slowly it nestled its way into our conversations, things like how many kids we would like, would we get married in the spring or fall, what last name would we take? And it happened so naturally and didn't feel scary on bit. So now, this February I decided - I would propose. I was waiting for him to do it but then I thought - why should I? I wanted him as my husband and I'll be damned if I was just going to sit there like a damsel in distress and wait. F*CK THAT! I had a plan! Neither of us are that kind of lovey-dovey old school romantics. For valentines one year I got Heart of the Swarm and we had a ton of fun. He got a 6-pack of MTG boosters. Yeah, that is how we roll. And that got me to the plan - I would design a MTG-card to propose! So I got to making and it turned out awesome, I'm very pleased with it. But come on, that would just be weird with one card, right? So I had a friend of mine help me make a whole playable deck with the theme "Rings". And I printed it out and made a proxy. And omg I was so nervous when I was sitting at the kitchen table cutting out the cards that he would figure out what it was. He just looked at the cards and said it looked weird and laughed. So when the second week of march comes around we go to Prague for a family trip and I'm so nervous I think I'm going to die. I had managed to buy us a pair of rings and smuggled them into my bag together with the deck without him noticing. We get to Prague eventually, went out for the evening and on the way back I feel like puking from the nerves. He thinks I had something bad to eat so we go up to the room and he asked if I wanted to sleep. Ok, now or never! I say I want to play a bit first and that was of course ok. (Side track, but it was me that got him into the whole MTG-scene about 2 years ago) So we sit down and play. using the bed as a table. And I feel my hands sweating more and more. And then I get it. The card! With this I can play the proposal-card from out of my purse and him not having any idea wtf is going on. We keep playing for a while and then I just feel like I have to play it. And I do. And then I start going thru my purse and he asks me what I'm looking for and makes some kind of lame joke about using my lipstick as a token..hurr hurr, we'll see ho laughs last. This is where things starts to get blurry. I remember playing the proposalcard upside down and him looking at me like I'm crazy. He later told me he thought I was pissed at him since I was acting so weird....oops. XD I play the card and as he reads it I literally throw the rings up on the bed, not saying anything. I had this HUGE speech prepared but nope, that didn't work. At all. I just grunt and jerk my chin at the rings and raises an eyebrow at him. The answer was a flying man and a lot of laughing and kissing and many many yes:es. So I got him....finally. I got my heart-neerd. <3 ----------------------------------------------------- Ok, so if you managed to get this far- CONGRATUFUCKINGLATIONS! You are a champ! And the reason to why I post this here is because there is a wedding coming on April 2018. And I want to lose some of the weight until then. I'm not aiming for model thin but just a lighter frame. I want to feel pretty walking down the isle. And I want to be healthy enough to have a baby or two down't the line. That is it. Welcome to my story.

So, last time I was on these forums I more or less disappeared from the middle of a challenge. A lot's happened since then: A low back tweak(which I have since recovered from), a Christmas trip to visit my Grandmother which ended up being much more somber than I expected, once I realized her state of cognitive decline - and a terrible case of food poisoning to cap it all off. Of course all of that was minor in the grand scheme of things. Two weeks ago, the love of my life was coming over for dinner. She had been down on herself, stressed out about her new job, as well as some lingering injuries that had prevented her from being as active as she like to be, and had taken a toll on both her fitness and body image. All the time I tried to be supportive. I always let her know I loved her, and I never doubted her a step of the way. I could tell she was upset, and so I asked her what was wrong. What ensued totally blindsided me. (Her) "I need to break up with you." (Gory details of conversation removed, as they don't really need to be on a public forum) (Me) "I'm really sorry I didn't do more for you when you needed it. I love you and want to do a better job helping you through this. What can I do?" (Her) "I don't want you to change yourself for me. There's nothing wrong with you, the problems are mostly in my head, but I don't think I can be happy with you over the long run and right now I just need to be alone" Long story short, there are several major stressors in her life(new job and family situation, among others), and I've always tried to be sensitive to that and do my best to be a positive factor in her life. She told me she was overwhelmed, stressed out, depressed, and "just needed to be alone right now", along with discussion of things that she needed that she didn't think I could do. And yet, as she walked out the door, she left me with "I love you." And so I am here. Single, again - when little more than a month ago we were looking forward to shopping for a house together. Right now I'm a bit of a wreck mentally, just trying to make sense of it all, and trying to avoid either blaming myself, or descending into bitterness and blaming my (now ex). She is truly a good person - she's going through some really tough times and deserves kindness and empathy, not anger. And so, that leads me to this challenge. Everything here centers around 1 point: Love myself. Heal. Goal 1: Get my head in the right place This has left me something of a cognitive wreck. Not to rehash my past too much, but this is the second time in my life that I've had a "Surprise! I'm leaving your life!" event with a significant other. Though the circumstances the first time were very different and more external to the relationship, I've long had a deep, dark fear of sudden abandonment by someone close to me due to events in my past. Between this The goal here is pretty simple: I'm going to do a few sessions with a professional to help me make sense of my head. The actual number of sessions is really more in the category of "as long as it takes" at this point. I need to stop blaming myself, and work on moving forwards - but at the same time I want to take an honest look at what I did and did not do as part of this relationship that might have contributed to problems. Long story short, I'm going to do what it takes to become a better person through this. I've got an appointment next Monday, and I'd like to do this weekly, at least in the near term until my thoughts are more under control. Goal 2: Stay positive So far I'm (mostly) doing okay at this one. Prior to this breakup I was mentally much stronger and healthier than I had been at any point during my adult life. I'm better equipped to deal with awfulness right now than at any point in my past, but I still need to stay strong, and not slip into negativity. The goal here is pretty simple - at least once per day, I will remind myself all the things I like about myself, and why I am a person worthy of love, who will find love again. For Today: I'm still in (nearly) the best shape of my life - and am doing well by most objective standardsI have a good job, and am regarded as a strong performer with high potentialI'm in good financial shapeI am intelligent, honest, kind, and loyal to a faultWhen I look in the mirror, I can honestly say that I like the person I see. I couldn't always say that in the past. Goal 3: Keep Moving I need to keep on doing things that are both good for me, and keeping up with my responsibilities as an adult: Go to the gym(or run outside) at least 6 days a week. It's OK if the emotional trauma leaves me mentally drained and I can't summon the will to do the same volume I'm accustomed to. It's not OK to lie on the couch in self-pity.Figure out what I'm doing with my house. Long story short, I'm in a situation where I've sold my house and I have a finite length of time to figure out what I'm doing for my next living situation. I need to lay out a strategy thereGet to work on my Masters' thesis. I guess this is one of the (only) bright sides to being single - once I get my head in the right place, I should be able to knock this out more quickly than I otherwise would have.Stay ahead of the curve at work. Lay out a plan of attack for the next several weeks so I can do my job efficiently and effectively. Eyes are on me, and now is not the time for excuses. Goal 4: Find someone new Okay, this is a process. There's no silver bullet here - but I'm 33, I generally hate the dating "scene" - whether it's going out to bars, or the whole online scene. The first goal here(along with getting my head in the right place), is to figure out an approach. I have some ideas, but still need to settle on a path forward. Here are some possibilities, among which I'll probably choose several: Join activity groups. Like-minded people often click when they meet.Reactivate online dating profiles: Online dating has generally been a disappointment for me(save my ex), but casting a broad net never hurts. Being in a smaller town is something of a liability here.Talk to friends: One of the best leads it talking to friends and seeing whether they know anyone that's a likely match. They know enough of who I am as a person to help find someone that might be a good fit, and the odds here are probably better than random individuals on online dating websites.The goal here isn't necessarily to find someone NOW - it's to do the right things, to give myself the best chance of success. What happens, happens. Updates will probably be more of a journal of my thoughts than workout logs. I will survive, and become a better person through this - though it will certainly take time. "Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds, and shall find me, unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul." -William Ernest Henley, "Invictus"

If I had to choose the character in literature that I most identify with, it would be Hermione Granger. I was a frizzy haired, smarty pants who spent more time with books than other people for a large part of my school years. I’ve been called a goodie-two-shoes, a brown-noser, bossy, and many other things I wouldn’t type in pleasant company. I didn’t come from “pure bloodâ€. But I will learn and dare almost anything to move forward and help my friends. The Harry Potter series has been reminding me to play to my strengths as I approach some big challenges – moving across country, two sets of boards, and starting a new phase of my training. Hermione embodies a lot of my strengths, so I’m going to use some of her favorite spells in my quest toward freedom from my food triggers and bad food habits. Like Hermione, my perfectionist ways can sometimes be an exercise in missing the point. My scale, weight, BMI, calorie counts, and any other numbers ARE NOT the priority. I want to be fit, healthy, and well. So, time to listen to Ron and sort out my priorities. Fewer numbers... more focus... Main Quest: Craving Control Habit Alohomora = unlock my mind from food triggers. Work with ideas from Eating the Moment to break the bad eating habits I have, including mindless eating, snacking in certain locations, and rushing through lunch. Nox = lights out at 9:30pm. More sleep is physiologically important for fighting cravings. Incendio = walk 10,000 steps per day. When I’m active, my mind is healthy. When my mind is healthy, I make healthy choices. Books and Cleverness! I have got to start seriously studying for boards. Time Turner = No video games until I have completed my tasks for the day! Devices can help us make the most of time. My iPad is NOT just for games... Ready, Assassins? Let's do this!

Hello all, So I'm taking the plunge and committing to a challenge. I'm actually a bit anxious about this. I have a very checkered history with weight loss in general, but it feels like the right time to recommit to myself. Main Quest: To reach a happy, healthy place where I am healthy and in shape. Sub-Goals: Write down everything that I eat for the next week.Week after -begin making healthy changes to my food (To be determined after looking at the data set).Prepare lunch the night before on work days.Make my own breakfast at least two days a week.Motivations (My Big Why): Honestly, this has been a long time coming. I'm currently about 120 lbs over where I probably should be (277 lbs as of Saturday; 5' 6.5" woman with a heavy bone structure), and I've found myself struggling more and more with the issues that my body has presented me with. In addition, I've seen my grandmother (a strong woman who raised four children after being widowed 40 years ago) struggle with dementia and type II diabetes for the past five or so years. I know that this runs in my family: apparently my great-grandmother had it as well as one of my great-uncles; and I don't want this to be me. Add in that yesterday night I managed to sprain my ankle for the umpteenth time last night while stepping down some stairs, and I have a fairly solid motivation to want to lose the weight and get into shape. I also would really like to work on my experience of loving myself as I am (mindfulness and contentment are big motivations for me. Realistically, I am probably a druid.... Towards this end, I have a major goal of being more content with myself and being more aware of when various thought patterns are running in my head. I also really want to work on organization and time management. Towards this end, I would like to: spend 15 minutes a day 5 days a week decluttering and organizing my house, my work spaces (itinerant music teacher), and my life.create simple morning and evening afternoon routines that help me be more organized and on task.

Hello Nerds, I am not new, however I am starting again (aka respawner). In a nutshell: - life happened hard - put on weight (thyroid is on sleep mode) - my organs are rebelling - I am exhausted. - self-esteem was hit but is now back in the game (hell yeah) So my plan is to get my system in Ordnung by : - resting a lot - eating healthy : which is for me mainly paleo paying attention to get enough iron, vitamin D, magnesium and Iode (I said my system was wreck) - working out : Crossfit and spinning mostly. Badmington occasionnally - taking care of my thoughts If I translate this in NF Challenge words : Goal 1 : Eat it - Healthy KISS Goal 2 : Breath it - Heart Rate Variability Goal 3 : Work it - Crossfit 3 times a week and spinning 2 times a week Life Goal : I have ordered 4 books on bouddhism and one on Heart Rate Variabilty Coming back tomorrow to add the marking system.

Self-Love Last week I read a book called "Wie's weitergeht, wenn nichts mehr geht" by Jens Baum. The title can be translated as: "How things are going on when nothing's going on anymore". One chapter of this book is about self-love. Jens Baum says: "Self-love is a mindful, caring, respectful, responsible and loving relationship with oneself." He sees two positive aspects in having self-love: You don't burden your friends and family with responsibility for your well-being anymore. You are feeling better, because you can take care of yourself most effective.Jens says self-love has nothing to do with egoism, moreover a person with self-love cannot be egoistical at all. In his book he explains why. This challenge will be about my way to loving myself for what I am. Main Quest: Love myself 1st Mission: Autogenic Training I got a book and CD for Autogenic Training and already started exercising. It's wonderful, I enjoy the exercising very much. After every training I am feeling fresh and free. The task is to do the Autogenic Training at least once per day. 2nd Mission: Yoga I have done the following Yoga Workout two times now and it's beneficent. The task is to do this Yoga Workout once per day. 3rd Mission: Positive Thinking It's typical for me that I see everything negative. If there's something slightly wrong it becomes a huge failure inside my head. The task is to stop derogatory thoughts, accept what has happened and come up with a good plan for moving on. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YN72QsiaIM

Fellow nerds! My bio I joined NF in July 2013 and had 2 pretty interesting challenges at the time. My challenge has a very weird name. I noticed that we - women - sorry for the generalisation - tend to be very critical towards ourselves. I realised that with no self-acceptance, it is very difficult to move forward from where we are towards what we want. After a very insightful holiday at my parents place, where I understood fully my relationship with food, I decided that I would love work on loving myself unconditionnally. I also saw that there was no point using food as a emotion revealer (any kind of emotion actually). I understood that I was striving for a perfection that doesn't exist. So I am going to accept whatever I am, whatever I do as the very best of myself and work towards being less judgemental towards myself. How will this apply to my fitjourney? Primal diet, planning and exercising 4 times a week, keeping a log. Main quest : Fit in a French size 40 (US 10, UK 12) and drop weight to 80 kg (158 lbs) This challenge main Goal : I want to weight 86 kg ( I am starting around 92) and be more energetic. I want to look at the mirror and giggle from pride and happiness on the fact that I hold on no matter what life did. I want to feel the strength and the feeling that I can accomplish anything that I want. I want to feel beautiful again. 1. I will follow a primal diet - up to 4 primal meals a day : lentils, hummous (convenient for lunch time) and occasional dairy. - no processed carbs - 1 non-paleo meal every 2 weeks - no alcohol (easy one) *****Ratings****** A. 0 to 1 non-paleo food B. 2-3 C. 3-4 D. 4-5 E. 6+ 2. I will exercise to detoxinate my body and recover all my energy - 3 BodyWeight workouts from NF Academy - 1 cardio activity at the gym - Biking to work at least 3 times a week *****Ratings****** A. 4 sessions of exercise B. 3 sessions C. 2 sessions D. 1 sessions E. No sessions 3. I will track my food / drinks /mood in a excel spreadsheet. I have a spreadsheet that I'll be updating everyday. My idea is to do that for at least 100 days, but I'll start bit by bit. *****Ratings****** A. Writing every day B. Skipping one day C. Skipping 2 days D. Skipping 3 days E. 4 + days Life challenge Journaling I want to save at least 5 mn everyday to write in my diary. I noticed that I feel good when I do that. *****Ratings****** A. 1 missed day B. 2 missed days C. 3 missed days D. 4 missed days E. 5 missed days Starting stats: I'll do the formating a bit later. I'll post updates at least 3 times during the week. My main difficulty is dealing with my emotional eating : I don't like my job and it is very frustrating sometimes since I am looking for something else and haven't managed yet to find a new one. I am ready for this, thanks for reading!

At the end of my last challenge, I was in San Diego and being away threw me off track a bit. And then I got sick during the second week off. I've been trying to pick myself up since all that. That's why it's taken me so long to post a thread and to start following everyone. Let's do this! Main Quest To live in the here and now. To love myself for who I am and gain my confidence back. Getting healthy will be a bonus to being myself. Goal 1: The Golden Movements (+3 STR & +3 DEX) I'm copying this goal from my last challenge. Mainly to get the habit in place. 1) Twice a week, I will walk the dog with or without the husband. The weather has cooled off and it shouldn't rain at 4 o'clock like in the summer. Walking = minimum 2x/walk 2) I really enjoyed belly dancing so I'm going to stick with it. I also drove by a belly dancing studio this weekend soo...I may decide to take an actual class sometime. Belly Dancing = 1x/week 3) I'm hoping yoga works out as well as it did last time. It was fun. I think I should do it more then twice a week to help with sore muscles. For now though, yoga = 2x/week. Goal 2: The Real Stuff (+3 STR) I want to get back/start doing actual exercise. I want to be the best that I can be. However, I am holding myself back. I'm going to work on body weight exercises this time. Incline push ups, squats, lunges, and work towards some KB stuff once I get it in my head that I can do this. That I can ignore the thoughts in my head that other people will watch me. Still deciding on how often and what I'll do exactly. Probably will create either a SS or have a notebook to write in. Diet Quest: Food (+2 CON) To enjoy what I eat. Taking the easy way by ordering food does nothing for my health or my taste buds. I enjoy the meals I make so cooking my meals and eating less processed food will be the goal. To say no to the candy jar and sweets that I didn't make myself. If I happen to eat out, I will chose something that's not heavy and tastes good. Something that won't derail me. I need to focus! The holidays are coming.. Life Quest: To Continue the Journey to Betterment (+2 CHA) Continue my gratitude journal. To not take life too seriously. I'm also participating in a Ladies' Only book club hosted by the wife of one of my husband's friends. So we'll see how that goes. I need to read and get comfortable talking to women.. Do something everyday to make this journey flow as smoothly as possible.

Main Quest To live in the here and now. To love myself for who I am and gain my confidence back. Getting healthy will be a bonus to being myself. Goal 1: Daily Update (+1 CHA & +1 WIS) This is pretty self-explanatory. I will update my thread daily. I liked this from my last challenge so I’m keeping. Also, I want to get back into writing in my self-love/gratitude journal. I let it fall to the wayside and I want to pick it back up. It’s useful to look back on it. Goal 2: Add Exercise (+3 STR & +3 DEX) This time I'm not having hula hooping as a goal but I can still do it if I feel inclined. This is going to be a 3 part goal. 1) I'm going to aim for walking in the evening with the husband and dog twice a week. 2) I've wanted to pick up belly dancing for years and the last time I had this as a goal, I failed miserably. Soo..I'm adding it back in. Saturday morning this will be done, with additional time during the week if I feel like practicing. If I belly dance, then I can play Plants vs Zombies: Garden Warfare. 3) I'm hung up what type of exercise I want to do. Body weight training or yoga? I think I'm going to follow Swampling down the rabbit hole that is yoga. I'll also be copying what she's doing aka do the doyouyoga 30-day challenge. However, I will only be doing 2 videos days a week to see how I like it. Also, this will be the first time I've tried yoga soo hopefully 2 days won't be too rough on me. Goal 3: Meal Plans (+2 WIS) I need to start making weekly/monthly plans for meals. This will also help with my following goal as well as my food shopping needs. Currently, I go to the grocery store on Saturdays to pick up meat and any other extras that I may need for that week. I tend go to the produce stand every day and buy the vegetables that I want for that day. I’m a bit spoiled. I want to get into a better habit of this so that when we move, the transition will be easier. I’ll miss my 30 second walk… This first week will be getting all the recipes/meals ideas that I make on a regular basis so new official meal plan for the first. Though I will be shopping this weekend so I’ll need to know what I need by Saturday. Diet Quest: Limit the Processed/Junk/Fast Food (+2 CON) Having the meal plans made should help with this goal.I make most of my husband's and my meals. However, there are days when I'm tired or just don't want to cook and we order pizza or go out to a fast food restaurant of some sort. I want to limit these occurrences Also this will include limiting beer. This will be graded based on each successful day without the processed stuff. I will also be tracking how often I succumb to the temptations of this type of food. Life Quest: Be Successful in Clothes Shopping (+1 CHA ) I’m making this into a goal because I’m not a fan of shopping and have had mini freaks in my latest shopping trips. I'm approaching a US women's size 20 in pants and shopping is miserable. I’m attending a friend’s wedding on Oct 18th and need a dress and I would like the dress to fit with their theme. I also will be visiting San Diego (my hometown) the following weekend and want better fitting clothes. This seems like a lot but at the same time do-able. I like it.

My past two challenges have been about trying to lose weight with the end result of being happy and accepted. I have had zero success in losing weight or feeling sustained happiness even though I completed half of my goals (the eating and walking ones) per challenge. I worried and stressed myself to a point where I just give up half way through the challenge. So for this challenge, I’m changing the focus of my main quest. Also, this will be the last challenge I do as an Adventurer. I plan on finally advancing to the Assassins, which has been my goal since I first joined the rebellion. This challenge should help me focus on the fun activity I want to pursue. Main Quest To love myself for who I am and get healthy while doing it. Goal 1: Cut out processed foods. +3 CON Part of this is to steer my eating to more of a real food focused kind of diet, borderline Paleo. This is to eat more natural foods and to enjoy the food I eat. I love cooking but I tend to use the “I’m lazy†excuse quite often. Replace at least one processed food each day. This replacement may or may not stick for each day. It's more to exercise control over food choices by choosing something better over something processed or filled with sugar. Goal 2: Be more active. +3 STA Movement makes me happy and walking does make me feel better. What I’m truly striving for here is to remember that I feel better after walking, or moving in general, and that’s why I’m doing it. It’s not solely to lose weight. I’ll continue the walking at work but at home, I want to explore some of my interests in the fun exercise category. This will help me for when I join the Assassins. Goal 3: Focus on the positive things. +2 WIS & +2 CHA Spend five minutes each day to write down the positive thoughts or events each day. Like many others, I tend to say and focus on the negative things in my life. Sometimes, these are things I can’t change or have no influence on. Sometimes, these things aren't actually a negative. They should be positive ideas. Side Quest: Try a new recipe each week. +2 CON I did something similar to this in my last challenge but I did a new vegetable each week and then ran out of vegetables/ideas available to me. Then again, I didn't try to find a new vegetable the last week. Ideally, I want to try 2 breakfast, 2 dinner and 2 dessert recipes during these 6 weeks but this may not happen. The goal is 6 total new recipes. I may be leaning towards more dessert recipes than the others. Here's to an excellent new challenge! Tracker Goal 1: 6/7 6/7 7/7 7/7 6/7 7/7 | 39/42 Goal 2: 4/5 4/5 4/5 5/5 5/5 5/5 | 27/30 Goal 3: 6/7 7/7 6/7 5/7 5/7 6/7 | 35/42 Side Quest: 1/1 1/1 1/1 1/1 0/1 1/1 | 5/6

I have been on a journey to feel comfortable with myself for years. There have been many ups and downs. After a rough year, I have been slowly coming out of a pattern of destructive eating and weight gain. I feel like I am back at square one with my fitness (which is not reality). Further, I am constantly struggling with feeling down on myself. This was a lot better in the summer, and I have recently realised that when I am stressed about school (read: when I am in school), negative emotion seeps into other areas of my life as well. I feel stupid, lonely, fat. I get preoccupied with body image and the perpetual need to change myself. I feel that if only this one thing, or this other thing were different then I would not have to feel so down on myself. When all of these feelings get overwhelming, I often turn to food, or to video games or TV. Or I just push through and do what I need to do in life, but feel miserable. Thankfully, I have a few solutions to these negative feelings. For one, I really enjoy working out. I feel much better after running, spinning, hiking, going to gymnastics, yoga etc. Also, if I can redirect my thinking to the present rather than morbidly reflecting on all of my shortcomings, I often feel better. In the next few months, I want to be more established in healthy patterns that help me to feel better about myself. Specifically, I need my healthy eating patterns to become routine. I also need my fitness patterns to be routine. Lastly, a big way that I feel like a ‘failure’ is by being behind in school, or because of missing class. So without further ado, here are my three side quests: Life Side Quest: I will not miss any school (other than for observerships or other clinical activities) AT ALL during the 6 week challenge. I will study productively for at least 50 minutes each day (2 pomedoros). Every day. Fitness Quest: I just started gymnastics and I love it. It requires strength, flexibility, balance and cardiovascular fitness. To this end I will: Go to gymnastics every Wednesday.Strength train twice per week.Spin once per week (Friday) – but not this week because it is cancelled.Run once per week.Yoga twice per week.Practice gymnastics once per week (in the park, cartwheels, kick up to hand stand etc).Revised and simplified - work out 6 days a week. At least 2 gymnastics sessions, 2 yoga sessions, 1 cardio session and 1 strength session.Diet Quest: Simply, I will follow the diet plan that is laid out by my nutritionist/trainer. No exceptions. Currently, I am allowed two cheat meals – these meals cannot ‘spread over’ into other things. For myself, I will now only eat until I am slightly full on my cheat meals – no stuffing it all in because ‘I can only eat it now’.