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In the terrifying hellscape that is my imagination, I am a Diva employed by WWE at the top of my game and I am such a badass, I don't even have to star in Total Divas. I have held the Diva's title for 26 days so far and I am aiming to beat Nikki Bella's 301 day record. And just because I like you all, have a booty gif. The Rules for the Title Reign: To retain the title, I have to perform on every TV show (Raw, NXT and Smackdown), as well as every televised special (eg Beast in the East) and PPV. In order to perform, I have to complete a cardio session - at least a 30 minute elliptical session for every day the TV show airs. I can move these days around if I need to but the idea is that I will 'perform' every Monday (Raw), Wednesday (NXT) and Thursday (Smackdown). I have created a roster of 50 female wrestlers, all the current batch, along with some important ones from yesteryear and each person has an exercise session attached to them. For every show I perform on, I roll dice to determine if it will be a title defence, and if it is, I have to complete that wrestler's exercise session in addition to my own cardio in order to retain the belt. PPVs are always title defences. My other long term goal is to get the Best Ass in England (excluding Greater London)TM and I am trying to accomplish this with Project: Best Ass (henceforth referred to as P:BA) which is a strength training regime targeting my booty. This Challenge Goal One - Tye Dillinger's Perfect 10 (plus ten multiplied by a thousand) (Did I just win the prize for most tenuous sub-goal title?) Have a deficit of 20,000 15,000 (due to injury) calories by the penultimate day of the challenge. Goal Two - Get Bull Fit Get at least 100 75 (due to injury) km in mileage (kilometreage?) on the elliptical. Goal Three - No Sexual Chocolate I have done this before but it worked so ZERO CHOCOLATE. Which reminds me, I still have chocolate left from Christmas I should probably offload... Goal Four - Basic (Eco)Thuganomics Stick to monthly budget, don't make any frivolous purchases and don't buy anything new to wear (with two exceptions, the perfect black denim jacket should I come across it and a chunky, mustard coloured cardigan because I have been looking for the perfect one of these since forever) YEAH, FEBRUARY! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!