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  1. ☆☆☆ Challenge 3 ☆☆☆ • Collapsing to the ground with a thud, I let out a strained sigh, "Why, why did she find me and then let me go? I don't think she even followed..." my stomach growls in agreement. That pack had everything I thought I needed in it. Ideas, notions, even some books and now it is all gone. I ran because I thought I needed to but have instead found myself more lost than before. Finally I sit up, brush some dirt off my knees, and look at my dirty stone hands. These hands fold into weak fists, drop back packs, and tremble seemingly without reason. For a moment frustration overwhelms me, "What am I doing?" Shame stings me and I shake my head in disbelief. "No, I can't think like that." These hands create, hold others, and grip with intention. They may not be strong but they are mine. • ☆ Main story: Lose 90lbs Quest 1 Do Something: Physical activity 3x a week - Last challenge I learned I am a jerk to myself. So to prove I learned something, I have decided to ditch the daily activities and keep it weekly and vague to help accomodate my disabilities and special talent for getting ill. That being said, I do basically nothing so at this point ANYTHING is better than nothing. For fun I made a random exercise bag full of various exercises on folded bits of paper. Keeps things fresh. c: (09/12 +3STR, 07/12 +2STR, 05/12 +1STR) ☆ 100% earns me $10 towards my Bethesda wishlist Quest 2 Eat Better: 80/20 Primal and 100g carbs or less - I love primal eating but tend to suck at the carbs thing. So I'm aiming for 100g or less to help keep that sucker down. I tend to be very all or nothing when it comes to sugars so I am trying to learn balance. We'll see. -crosses fingers- (25/28 +3CON/+1CHA, 22/28 +2CON/+1CHA, 19/28 +1CON) ☆ 100% earns me $15 towards my Bethesda wishlist Quest 3 Keep Going Forward: Walk 25miles during this challenge - Originally I intended to beat my last mileage but then the challenges were changed to 4 weeks so instead I have combined my PVP goals and threw on a few extra miles. More specifically I am trying to assess my mileage so I can better execute this sort of challenge later. (20/25mi +3STA, 15/25mi +2STA, 10/25mi +1STA) ☆ $.20 per mile towards my Bethesda wishlist Current stats: X ☆Motivation: 1. I want to be a good example for my sisters and future children 2. To optimally manage my mental health 3. I want a healthy relationship with food 4. I want to be more comfortable in my skin 5. To be able to better participate in walks, hikes, and other outdoorsy things I once enjoyed 6. To be able to be pregnant safely and have the energy to play with my child (disclaimer: I have jacked up ankles and very literally weak core muscles that don't even activate properly when exercised, so if I got pregnant while being in my current physical condition I likely could render myself immobile) 7. I want to be able to protect myself (maybe rejoin the dojo) 8. To better my chances at having a long and healthy life with my loved ones 9. My husband 10. Myself • "I am here because I am tired of being held back by my body. I am rough stone seeking polish through trial and doing the work to get to how I want to be is what makes it valuable. I want to fight for myself and those I love and I want that dragon to notice me and tremble." Still exhausted and shaking, I stand up and lift my hands to the sky. It's time for a new backpack with new lessons and ideas. If I want different results then I must do things differently. Even if it means starting with nothing but these hands. •
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